Work Text:
01
poisonous
the first year, anything that reminded wangji of him was like poison, cold, chilling and paralysing.
by the second year, wangji embraced them because they were the only things that he had left of him, proof that he had ever existed at all.
02
tranquility
Tranquil was what the Cloud Recesses were without Wei Wuxian but it made his absence more apparent than ever and the stillness weighed heavily on Wangji who silently wished he would come back one day.
03
roasted
By the time they set up camp, it’s getting dark. Wuxian roasts the pheasants he caught earlier over the fire and starts to talk animatedly as Wangji watches, basks in the warmth of the fire and Wuxian’s smile, content.
04
spell
What kind of spell that Wei Wuxian must have cast on our Hanguang-jun to make him behave this way, they whisper but they do not know the way that Wangji’s world comes to life when he is around and if it were a spell, Wangji wishes it would never end.
05
chicken
WuXian realises it might be a bad idea to challenge Lan Wangji to a game of gay chicken.
06
drooling
Wangji was never more grateful that he wakes up early in the morning when he’s greeted by the sight of Wuxian, still snoring softly. He’s incredibly lovely in the morning light, even as he drools all over his pillow.
07
exhausted
Wuxian returns from the night hunt clearly exhausted and Wangji helps him clean up as he recounts what happened, eyes drooping and yawning. He pulls Wangji into bed with him and Wangji kisses him softly before the two of them drift off, tangled in each other.
08
star
Wei Wuxian is mesmerisingly brilliant, shining as bright as any star.
His fall is also as dramatic.
09
precious
There is nothing that is as precious and dear to Wuxian as the way that Wangji smiles at him, slight but gentle and warm, like he is the only person in the world.
10
flowing
From his fine features to his long flowing hair, Lan Wangji was the very picture of elegance and beauty.
Some days, Wuxian can hardly believe that all of it is his.
11
cruel
The Wuxian that Wangji knows is reckless and brazen but good and kind. The Wuxian that comes back from the Burial Mounds is cold and cruel and it sends a chill down Wangji’s spine.
12
whale
The days spent without Wuxian were bleached whale bone white and void of colour, laughter, hope, joy.
13
guarded
Sometimes Wangji wonders if maybe he had not been so guarded, back when they first met, he would’ve had the right words to say, wouldn’t have driven Wuxian away, to his death.
14
clock
stillness. muted. quiet. the years pass but he is still gone, gone, gone.
time passes, everyone moves on but you stay suspended in place, waiting, waiting, waiting.
and then. something, someone.
tick, tock.
your clock starts moving again.
15
weak
Hanguang-jun is known for being extremely capable both with his sword and his guqin, cutting through everything in his path, undeniably strong.
It only takes one man, one smile, one word, one touch to bring him down though.
16
angular
your love is not easy to accept, it is too rough around the edges, too clumsy with your words, more likely to cut and hurt rather than soothe and heal. you wish that he would accept your sharp angular heart anyway and smooth out the edges with his.
17
swollen
His ankle is red and swollen and Wuxian winces when he presses down on it.
This body really is so weak, he thinks, but at least this time I have someone by my side, he smiles as Wangji picks him up and carries him along the way.
18
bottle
there are words waiting to burst out of you with every breath that you take, the grains of sand in your lungs grating and uncomfortable.
the one whom they are for is not here though and you place it in a glass bottle, to remember, to keep, for him.
19
scorched
when you finally meet him again, it unleashes a torrent within you and there is no moment more beautiful than that first drop of rain on the scorched dirt of your deserted heart.
20
breakable
he had always seemed invincible, larger than life itself but it is not until you lose him, find him, lose him again that you realise that he is breakable, and so are you.
21
drain
the human eye can see over three hundred colours and he is all of them.
the world without him is dull, empty, drained dry.
22
expensive
sometimes in the darkness of night, cold and alone, you think about how things might have been if you had told him how you really felt from the start.
the price for your pride, you think in the quiet regrets of the morning, was too high.
23
muddy
perhaps no one is as befitting as he of the lotus, a flower that blooms even in muddy waters, climbing ever higher.
even the beautiful lotus burns when too close to the sun.
24
chop
there are too many pieces of you, severed from your soul, since the day he left and hasn’t come back. each day another piece gets chopped off and you can only hold the pieces in your hand and wait for salvation.
25
prickly
you wonder what it is about him that cracks open your prickly outer skin to reveal the soft centre inside.
26
stretch
you stretch the last note of the song, letting it reach out, seek, ask, inquire and hope that it may carry across the land, across the sea, to wherever he may be.
there is, once again, no answer.
27
thunder
he is like a summer storm wrecking havoc on your peaceful world. you wonder when you started to look forward to the smell of ozone in the air, the sound of thunder coming over the mountains.
28
gift
you have already lost him one (twice, arguably, but well) but he is here, now, with you and every moment together is a gift that you hoard to your chest, precious beyond measure.
29
double
double or nothing? asks a small voice at the back of your head and you have never backed down from a challenge, the odds always stacked in favour except they weren’t, not this time.
this time, you end up with nothing.
30
jolt
he smiles at you so gently clad in the white and blue robes of the lan sect but when he turns towards you there is something unsettling in his expression. with a jolt you wake up and remember that he is not here and you are alone.
31
slice
if you could slice your life up into neat little segments surely each piece would be labelled “with him” or “without him”, your lives so intertwined that you can not define yours without his.