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They were in a locked room. Someone had drugged them and abducted them and locked them in this tiny cell together and if Maria didn’t get out of here and find a way to kill whoever it was soon she might end up killing Natasha first. She was going over every inch of the room they were in looking for any clue that might help her figure out who had them or how to get out and Natasha was just sitting there calmly, not moving, and making sarcastic comments.
“Oh yes, check the sealed door a third time, I’m sure you’ll find something you missed the first two times.” Like that.
“You could help,” Maria shot back.
“I am helping; I’m staying out of your way.”
Maria gave her a look of utter exasperation. “You could help in a way that actually gets us out of here!”
“I could but you’d have to be willing to listen and I don’t think whatever they’ve drugged us with has actually worn off.”
Maria turned around completely ready to snap at her again and then paused, thinking. “Damn.” She slumped down onto the floor. Natasha watched her with quiet eyes. “Any ideas what it is? I’m not usually this off the rails.”
“I have a few guesses, but nothing I can confirm without blood tests. It shouldn’t be harmful in the long term, just enough to compromise our thinking for a little while.”
Maria straightened, looking at her, “You have a plan.”
Natasha did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You two make a good team,” Nick Fury looked at the two of them as if they weren’t wearing shredded clothes, bloodstains, and expressions of utter exhaustion after nearly twenty four hours of trying to escape a psychopath’s facility full of death traps and various other pitfalls. “It’s a shame you can’t bring more of that to the rest of your shared working environment, especially given your unique compatibility.”
“Sir, I’d like to—“
“You’re dismissed.” Fury cut Maria off with a wave of the hand. “No need to file a report, I’m already aware of the details.”
They exited his office together, walking, or limping in Natasha’s case, quietly as they considered his words and their meaning before Maria finally broke the silence.
“So about what you were saying the other night about Fury not knowing we were in a relationship…”
“Yeah?”
“I think he just let us know that he knows.”
“Yeah.”
“We should probably tone it down on pretending to have unresolved sexual tension at work.”
“Are you suggesting that we should have resolved sexual tension at work then?” Natasha’s grin was somewhat closer to a smirk.
“That’s not what I—yes, let’s go with that.” Maria’s brain caught up with her midsentence, her turn to formulate the plan. “That sounds absolutely perfect.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Their next visit to Fury’s office was nothing like the first. They were both clean, well-dressed, and wearing expressions of full calm and restfulness. Fury, on the other hand, looked like he had been run ragged.
“Why is it that you two seem determined to destroy my agents and all semblance of discipline among the ranks?”
“Sir.” Maria’s voice implied a question without actually asking one. She stood at attention while Natasha lounged in a nearby chair.
“A month ago you two were causing chaos in a totally different manner. You,” he pointed at Maria, “nearly shot an agent in the foot because she,” he waved his hand towards Natasha, “and I quote ‘distractingly flipped her hair’ while you were demonstrating field weapons safety.”
“That’s not a quote from me,” Maria said in response to Natasha’s raised eyebrows.
“No,” said Fury, “that’s a quote from three of the agents who witnessed the incident. Apparently they all thought you nearly shooting Agent Spencer in the foot was a perfectly reasonable response to such provocation.”
Natasha smirked while Maria rolled her eyes.
“Don’t think you’re not included in this,” Fury said to Natasha who just looked at him without a change in expression. “You almost punched an agent for trying to wake up Agent Hill two hours after she got off a three day shift because quote ‘only a total cabbage would do something that stupid’.”
“Yeah, that was me,” Natasha admitted unapologetically with a slight tilt of the head towards Maria’s inquiring glance.
“Now,” if he’d had any hair Fury looked like he would be pulling it out, “you two are found in compromising sexual positions all over the base and I have to deal with other agents nearly shooting themselves in the feet along with a whole bevy of discipline problems. We are adults. What you do on your own time is your business, but this type of behavior will not continue on my base. There will be no more sex in the locker room showers, no more groping of each other in the shooting range, and there will absolutely be no more repeats of the incident in the cafeteria or so help me I will take you both up on the helicarrier and dropkick you over the side, regardless of whether or not you’re my two best agents. Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir.” Maria’s posture was perfect, her gaze directly ahead of her as she replied.
Natasha just nodded and gracefully stood in anticipation of dismissal.
Nick just waved his hand at both of them to leave.
Before they did though, Maria had one final remark. “Next time, sir, perhaps we could have this conversation first before resorting to kidnapping and mayhem.”
They left before Fury had a chance to formulate a proper response though they could hear the sound of his swearing even through the closed door.
About halfway across the base Natasha peered out of the corner of her eyes at Maria before asking in a deceptively casual tone, “No more sex in the locker room showers?”
“We’ll be more discrete,” Maria said, turning a corner in that direction.
Natasha certainly wasn’t going to argue. After all, they had already proven how well they worked together and that they could both come up with good plans.
And the best part about using those showers was that they didn’t run out of hot water, no matter how long they took, and they were both very dedicated and thorough in everything they did. It was what made them such good partners.