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“Hey Mags.” Alex smiles, jogging a little to catch up to her friend as she heads into the school.
Truth is Alex hates calling Maggie ‘friend'. Not because they aren't, more so because she wants something entirely different.
But they've always been this, from the moment they met a few years ago and still now in senior year. And Alex has watched as Maggie dated, moved from girl to girl around the school, never really settling with one long enough for it to mean anything. At least until Julie came along. After meeting her at a hockey meet at a neighbouring school a few months ago, it didn’t take long for the pair to start dating. And for some reason she’s stuck around longer than the rest, making Alex’s heart restless even as she remains silent about her own feelings.
The thought constantly races through Alex’s mind that she should say something.
And this morning is no different, Maggie’s less than enthusiastic smile tugging at Alex's heart a little painfully.
“Hey Danvers.” She offers, head tilting a little in thought as she tugs the straps of her bag tight against her shoulders.
“You cut your hair over the weekend? Looks good.” Maggie remarks, the comment burning a blush onto Alex's cheeks, even with the brunettes attempt to hide her unusual demeanour.
“Thanks.” Alex rushes out, not wanting to dwell on the feeling she gets at the compliment, her fingers digging into her own backpack to hide the sensation, Alex choosing to focus on whatever is bothering Maggie.
“What’s wrong?” Alex questions, concern etching itself into her tone as they head inside the building, students chattering and laughing as they pass in the hall.
“Huh? Oh um..Nothing.” Maggie says with a dismissive wave, the way her head shakes a little making her hair sway forcing Alex to take a breath before she answers.
“I know you. Something's wrong Maggie. Spill.” Alex orders, pulling at the brunettes arm to spin her around to look into her eyes.
It proves not to be the best choice, the hint of sadness in Maggie’s stare ripping Alex’s breath away.
“I...” Maggie tries, looking down at her boots. She shoves her hands deep into her pockets as she shrugs at Alex. “I broke up with her.” She mumbles out.
“Julie?” Alex questions, Maggie just nodding at her in return. “I'm sorry Mags.” She offers, genuinely not wanting the brunette to feel this way even if it makes her heart leap a little. Alex just can’t help it.
But when Maggie still just looks down at the floor, her fists clenching in her pockets, Alex knows there’s more to this.
“Come on.” Alex urges, tugging Maggie towards the bathroom down the hall for at least a little more privacy.
They shuffle past a few girls coming out, Alex not paying any mind to the girls checking themselves in the mirror or moving about the stalls as the bell rings for class.
And she’s an A’s student, Maggie’s the star of the hockey team, their professors will cut them a break for being late.
“What’s going on?” Alex presses, leaning against the back wall of the bathroom.
Maggie shuffles on her feet, suddenly nervous at the intensity of Alex’s concern.
“Nothing. I just... I had to break up with her. But it didn’t go great and I don’t know... maybe I should text her?” Maggie reasons.
Alex is about to dig deeper, but she doesn’t get the chance as a few of the girls around the bathroom speak up, one yelling over a stall door.
“Don’t text your fucking ex!” They holler, a girl catching Alex’s eye in the mirror and nodding in agreement with the statement.
"What they said. She'll understand when the time is right. Just let her go through the motions. Texting her does not help." She offers, fixing her dark hair over her back before sweeping out the door, glancing at Maggie over her shoulder as she leaves. "She'll be okay, don't worry."
It's a strange yet somehow reassuring feeling that this is how things like this are handled right now. Alex remembers being terrified of what people would think. But here she is, standing in the bathroom with her best friend in the entire world and all that's happening is a bunch of girls trying to look out for each other. And she knows she's lucky for that. So Alex can’t help but bite back a smile even as Maggie just rolls her eyes and groans a little, slumping onto the wall beside Alex.
“I don’t get it.” Alex states after a moment. “Why'd you break up with her?”
“I had to.” Maggie repeats, running a hand through her hair in frustration. “I was lying to her and that’s not fair. She’s great and deserves better than that.”
And after knowing Maggie all these years, the notion of her lying is a foreign concept to Alex.
“I don’t understand.” Alex whispers. “I want to help but I don’t know h-"
“You can’t Alex.” Maggie cuts her off.
“Why?” Alex presses.
Maggie just shakes her head, her head falling back onto the wall as she clenches her eyes closed.
“Because you're you Al.” She forces out.
“Maggie.” Alex exclaims gently. “You're saying words I know, but they're not making sense.” She reasons erratically, pushing off the wall to stand in front of Maggie and grab her hands. “Just tell me why this is such a big deal. Because you break up with girls all the time, hell you even stay friends with most of them. So what’s the difference?” Alex questions.
“I like her.” Maggie offers a little frustratedly.
“So?” Alex urges.
Maggie pulls her hands from Alex, shaking her head and shuffling past the red head.
“I can’t.” She mumbles out, making for the door.
“Maggie wait!” Alex calls after her, weaving past the couple of girls using the mirror as she chases Maggie into the empty hallway.
“Maggie!” Alex shouts, her voice echoing across the linoleum and halting the brunette mid stride in front of the lockers.
Alex takes a breath and walks over to her friend, finding her place in front of Maggie once again.
“Why can’t you like her?” She asks patiently.
“Because I... I love someone else.” Maggie admits fearfully.
“Oh.” Alex breathes out, the admission hitting her like a ton of bricks.
She wasn't exactly ready to hear that the girl she loves is in love with someone today, so Alex finds her hands shaking a little as she backs away from Maggie a little.
“That's uh... that's great Maggie I'm.. for you um.. happy for you I mean...” Alex stammers out, the leather jacket she has on getting uncomfortably hot at the moment. “I class... have class with um.. calculus..”
“Alex?” Maggie worries, stepping forward to catch Alex’s forearms and stop her backing away. “You okay?”
“I'm good.” Alex assures shakily, pulling her hands back and brushing at her hair nervously. “I just...”
“Just what?” Maggie questions, head tilting softly in a way that makes Alex’s heart go through whiplash.
She swallows thickly, trying to find her voice amongst the flurry of emotions in her chest.
“I've never heard you say that.” Alex reasons. “About anyone.”
Maggie nods shyly, her eyes heavy even as they focus on Alex. “I know.” She whispers.
And Alex can feel that Maggie needs her right now, needs her to put her own feelings aside to help with this. It’s not fair, Alex’s heart begging for her to tear the idea apart at the seams. But it’s Maggie. And Alex isn’t capable of doing anything else besides trying to make her happy.
“So who is she?” Alex asks as calmly as possible.
Maggie worries her bottom lip between her teeth, the action drawing Alex’s gaze instinctively as the brunette appears to think something over.
“It doesn’t matter.” Maggie resolves after a moment, her voice dripping in defeat. “She’s... it won’t happen.”
“Why?” Alex questions. “You're amazing Maggie. And any girl here would be lucky just to have a fraction of this.” She resolves, placing a hand gently over the brunettes heart, not caring at all about the fact that they’re standing in the middle of the deserted hallway a little awkwardly.
“Ale-” Maggie tries.
“I mean it.” Alex whispers between them. “You deserve to feel this and whoever this girl is should be nothing less than honoured you do.”
Maggie chokes a little, the air in her chest catching beneath Alex’s palm before the brunette coughs a little to clear herself.
“She isn’t into girls I don’t think.” Maggie reasons quietly.
“How do you know?” Alex returns, hoping Maggie’s actually done her homework and isn’t just trying to keep her defences up and make excuses not to try and be with this girl.
“I know she’s dated guys before. And she gets... thrown off when I talk about girls." Maggie explains half heartedly.
“Well if you’d met yourself you’d know why she gets thrown off.” Alex offers with a smile, recalling how she herself gets a little lost in Maggie sometimes.
But her friend doesn’t lean into the casual statement at all, her eyes downcast sort of nervously.
“I'm scared.” Maggie admits quietly. “I don’t want to lose her over this.”
“Lose her?” Alex questions, confused as to who Maggie could possibly be talking about.
Obviously they have a few other friends, but none that Alex would really consider Maggie's type, none she would think could cause this sort of turmoil in the brunette.
“I don’t know if I could handle that Ally.” Maggie admits further. “I don’t know what my life is without her, which seems crazy at our age... but I truly don’t.”
Alex thinks on that for a moment, the realisation about how serious Maggie is about this actually dawning on her. And it's agony hearing Maggie say the very words Alex has been dying to say to her. It proves too much and she can't help letting her walls slip down a little.
“I know what you mean.” Alex offers shyly, her eyes finding her shoes at the first piece of truth she’s ever let out about her feelings.
“You do?” Maggie whispers, Alex forcing in a breath and shuffling over to the wall, letting her back lean against the lockers for support as the brunette follows her movements and stands in front of her cautiously.
And Alex can feel that it’s now or never, she can either let her heart speak for once, or she can stay quiet. And somehow the thought of Maggie being in love with someone else makes it a little easier for Alex to let it go.
“Yeah. I get that feeling... with you.” She murmurs. “Like I could study for years, see the edge of our universe or create a sun beneath a microscope, and still just have none of it mean as much as you do to me.” Alex admits, her eyes clenching shut at how ridiculous the words are.
“Alex?” Maggie breathes out, the brunettes hands finding Alex's jaw as she tilts her head up from the floor. “Please open your eyes for me.” She requests gently.
Alex can’t help the wavering breath her lungs let out as she hopelessly does as she’s asked, the depth of affection in Maggie’s eyes making it difficult to breathe as Alex finds herself staring back.
“I know you just told me you love someone else.” Alex acknowledges painfully. “And I swear I'm okay with that, I just need time ti-"
“Not someone else.” Maggie cuts in gently. “And if you're saying you love me, then I don’t want to let anymore time go.” She whispers.
Alex shakes her head a little between Maggie’s hands, her heart racing. “Wait are you... all of that... you meant..” she rambles out, her hands finding the straps of Maggie’s bag to try and steady herself a little.
“I love you.” Maggie whispers gently, her thumbs brushing over Alex’s cheeks as a few tears escape. “Since the moment you asked where the science room was that first day, I've been falling for you.” She explains with a smile. “Its always been you Alex."
“I...” Alex tries, shaking her head in disbelief as she laughs under her breath to try and clear her eyes a little, the small smile Maggie gives her at the action just making it harder. But Alex finds her voice after a moment.
“I do.” She whispers. “I love you Maggie. In every possible description of the word, I love you.” Alex finally let’s her heart scream out.
Maggie chuckles past a nervous smile, her eyes wandering over Alex freely after the admission, as if she’s in disbelief of what she’s hearing.
“Yeah?” Maggie breathes out, her hands drifting from Alex’s jaw and over her arms as they rest between them, Alex still holding onto the straps of Maggie’s bag at her shoulders.
“Yeah.” Alex affirms quietly, her heart leaping at the way Maggie’s dimples form in her cheeks as she beams back at the word.
And after so long holding it all back, of keeping herself from the girl in front of her... Alex just can’t help it anymore.
She tugs insistently on Maggie’s bag, pulling the brunette into her and letting their foreheads rest together.
Vaguely Alex hears Maggie’s hands brace on the lockers behind her, the sound lost when her fingers find their place shakily on Alex’s hips instead.
“Al-" Maggie tries, Alex just laughing under her breath and shaking her head slightly as she pulls at Maggie's bag again to bring their lips together.
And it's everything Alex dreamed it would be, more so actually. She can practically feel her breath catching in her chest at the softness of Maggie’s lips as she kisses her back, the vague taste of sugar and honey that must be from Maggie's cereal lingering past her spearmint toothpaste making Alex's head spin a little. And even though her heart is racing, it seems more at peace than its ever been. Because all Alex can do is smile at the way Maggie leans into her, her laugh catching against their lips when the lockers creak under their weight.
“I umm... we should..” Maggie mumbles out distractedly against Alex’s lips.
And Alex smiles and feels her heart jump at the effect she’s had on the brunette. She’s about to suggest they leave, go find a park somewhere and just forget about school for today, hell Alex wants to forget it forever if it means she can be with Maggie instead. But she doesn’t get the chance as the classroom door a few feet away swings open.
“Oh!” A middle aged teacher exclaims, his hands nervously playing with his cardigan when he spots the two girls. “Alex I was just about to go ask the office if you were away sick today.” He offers sort of bashfully.
“I'm sorry Mr Henshaw. I'll um.. be right there.” Alex offers, a blush spreading over her cheeks as Maggie smiles and backs away a little, hands finding her pockets in embarrassment.
“Yeah that’s fine I'll just... be in there.. teaching so..” Mr Henshaw rambles out. But he stops halfway back into the class, leaning back through the doorway a little. “I'm glad to see you two finally figured it out.” He smiles, Alex’s jaw dropping at the statement as he smiles over at Maggie and shuts the classroom door.
“I guess that means you have to go?” Maggie questions playfully, her hands finding Alex’s and swinging them between themselves gently.
“I'd rather just run out of here with you.” Alex admits, interlacing her fingers with Maggie’s, not missing the way the brunette watches the action affectionately.
“Just because I love you doesn’t mean you get to be an uneducated slacker Danvers.” Maggie jokes, stepping in close and leaning up to kiss Alex on the cheek. “Find me at lunch okay?”
“Okay.” Alex agrees contently, sighing as Maggie pulls away with a smile and let’s their fingers drift apart as she starts to head down the hall.
“Wait! Where are you gonna be?” Alex calls out after her.
Maggie just laughs, turning as she carries on walking backwards.
“I'll be wherever you are, you never have to look far.” She assures sincerely, Mr Henshaw tapping on the glass of the door to tell the brunette to hurry up and get to class.
Maggie nods shyly and raises a hand to let him know she’s going.
And Alex just watches, biting her lip to keep from laughing ecstatically when Maggie keeps looking back over her shoulder, meeting Alex’s eyes with a smile every time, until she turns the corner with one last look.
It leaves Alex feeling like she's floating a thousand miles above the clouds, her fingers coming up to her lips in a state of shock. She can practically feel the electricity on her skin, Alex laughing a little at the unusual sensation.
“Happy as I am for you Alex, the test has already started. And you're good, but you’ll still have to catch up.” Mr Henshaw notes affectionately from the doorway, holding it open for Alex as she shuffles in bashfully. He's always been Alex's favourite teacher, ever since she barged in demanding extra lessons her first day here. So Alex mumbles out a thank you without much thought as she passes him.
She weaves past all the desks, not really paying attention to anyone that looks up from their papers as she sits down at her usual spot in the back.
Alex glances over the test in front of her, choosing the hardest answers worth the most points and filling them in, running the calculations in her head without bothering to get her calculator out.
And when she’s done, confident she’ll have an ‘A' scrawled over the front of the paper tomorrow, Alex nudges the paper closed and leans back in her chair.
Her mind races over Maggie, running over every detail. Her smile, the way her lips tasted slightly like the Cheerios she must have had for breakfast, the way her words sound whispered between them... Alex finds herself getting totally lost in the thought.
So when the bell blares, breaking her from the trance, Alex practically bolts out of her seat. She rushes to the front and drops her paper on Mr Henshaw’s desk, the teacher just shaking his head at her with a chuckle.
It’s only second period, so Alex knows she should be going to history. But she finds her feet carrying her to the gymnasium to where she knows Maggie has gym class.
The locker room is noisy, girls all rushing around trying to get into shorts and shirts, Alex having to stop more than once to aid in a request to help braid back someone’s hair.
But eventually she makes it to the far corner, the unofficial spot for the hockey team members who have gym class together. And Maggie is right there, hands above her head as she ties her hair up out of the way.
“Alex?” she questions, a smile etching onto her face as she lets her hair fall back down, wrapping her hair band onto her wrist.
And Alex just finds herself stepping into Maggie’s space, her hands finding the brunettes jaw and pulling her up into a kiss.
She can hear a few cheers echo behind them, some of the girls yelling for them to get a room playfully as Maggie’s teammates usher everyone out. But Alex is so lost in the way Maggie’s hands hold her close, the way her breath lands softly against her lips when she breathes in between kissing her.
“I can’t believe you didn’t know I was into girls.” Alex mumbles jokingly against Maggie lips, pulling back a little to kiss at her dimples when Maggie laughs.
“You didn’t exactly say anything.” Maggie reasons, her hands at the redheads neck urging Alex to look at her. “Is this why?” she questions, motioning a little between them.
Alex nods shyly, grateful when Maggie just pulls her into a crushing hug. She lets her face turn into Maggie’s neck, noting to herself to find out whatever lotion or perfume the brunette wears that makes her smell like heaven on a beach somewhere.
“I wish I was brave enough to tell you sooner.” Maggie whispers suddenly. “I feel like I’ve wasted so much time.” She admits brokenly into Alex’s shoulder.
“Hey.” Alex urges, pushing Maggie back a little so she can see her face and wipe at the rare tears on her cheeks. “We have all the time in the world. And all I wanna do with you is look forward, make crazy plans and find an adventure to go on.” She assures gently.
Maggie chuckles, looking down at her feet as she sniffs a little to get herself together. And there’s a determination in her eyes when she finally looks back up at Alex.
“So does that mean if I ask you to be my girlfriend you’ll say yes?” Maggie questions nervously.
Alex chokes on her breath, words catching in her throat as she tries to get the obvious answer out. But all she can end up doing is nodding crazily, hands pulling Maggie in close so she can kiss her forehead, her cheeks and her nose, then finally letting her lips settle against Maggie’s once more.
And Alex can’t help wondering how she’s gone her whole life without the satisfaction of having Maggie sigh against her lips, without having the feeling of elation in her heart as they both smile and make staying together like this impossibly difficult.
“We're definitely gonna have to work on this whole thing.” Alex chuckles out, motioning between them. “I can’t kiss you and smile at same time and I’m not sure how to do those things separately.” She reasons.
Maggie laughs, kissing Alex’s cheek gently.
“Ever the scientist Danvers, I'm sure you'll figure it out.” Maggie flirts. “And like you say, we have all the time in the world.”
And Alex can’t help believing that it’s true. Especially as Maggie takes her hand, grabbing her bag and leading her out of the locker room.
They don’t go to class though, Maggie smirking as Alex realises they're skipping school when they reach the parking lot. She digs in her bag and pulls out a leather jacket, pointing at Alex to do her own one up as she pulls it over her shoulders.
“Come on.” Maggie urges, holding out a helmet to Alex as she straddles her bike, the machine seeming way too big for someone as small as Maggie and yet still matching her perfectly.
And another time, Alex may have been to nervous, too held back. But with Maggie smiling at her, Alex just feels safe, like even if they crashed and burned in this very moment, she couldn’t care less. Partly because she knows she’s on a high from the events of the past tour or so, but mostly because Alex can’t think of any better way to go than with her arms around Maggie, going faster than she’s ever gone before.
“You scared?” Maggie asks genuinely, the concern just making Alex’s heart flutter as she steps up to the bike and takes the helmet from the brunette.
“No.” Alex whispers, leaning down a little to kiss Maggie gently. “Not with you.” She assures.
Maggie just smiles, revving the bike as Alex laughs and climbs on behind her, arms finding their home around the brunettes waist as they start rolling onto the road.
And that’s how it begins for them, just two girls, a bike that can go for miles and all the time in the world.