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Todomatsu felt very keenly his status as the youngest brother of six. The littlest, the cute one, the baby brother. It wasn’t like he minded it, most of the time. Most of the time it was great, being the one everybody fawned over, spoiled and expected little of.
Other times, it made him want to scream.
The youngest wasn’t supposed to succeed before the oldest. Wasn’t allowed to. We’re the same freaking age, he wanted to yell sometimes. Sextuplets! We were born on the same goddamn day! But it didn’t matter. Set in stone from the very start, Osomatsu, Choromatsu, and Karamatsu were the older brothers, and Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu, and Todomatsu were the younger. A clear divide, and Todomatsu was on the wrong side of it.
Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu seemed to embrace this wholeheartedly. Ichimatsu, he hated. It was like the fourth-born brother had given up entirely, refusing to even try, but tearing down anybody else’s attempts to escape his orbit of self-enforced entropy. Jyushimatsu, on the other hand... ‘expectations’ was hardly a word that seemed to exist in his vocabulary. He was so unpredictable that nobody expected anything from him—but by the same token, nobody could really begrudge him when he achieved success.
But Todomatsu wanted to be so much more. Of all his brothers he could easily claim the most ambition—reasonable ambition, at least. Karamatsu was a poser, Choromatsu was a hypocrite, and Osomatsu? He was the very definition of a scumbag.
And every single last one of them were in Todomatsu’s way.
These were the thoughts running through Todomatsu’s head as he sat on the riverbank with his knees drawn up to his chest, plucking blades of grass with his fingers.
It wasn’t fair.
He’d been texting a girl. Two weeks ago, he’d met her while he was out on his morning jog, and since then she’d accompanied him a few times. They had been texting back and forth for the past week or so—nothing serious, Todomatsu was treading lightly. He’d been so careful to hide it from his brothers. So cautious. He’d made sure never to bring her too close to the house on their jogging routes, and met in places his family would never be caught dead. He’d kept his phone on him at all times, keeping it on vibrate in case he was texted unexpectedly and somebody got curious.
And he’d been close. So close. He’d been inching his way towards asking her out on a date; yesterday, he’d put a hand on her shoulder, and she hadn’t moved away! She’d asked him if he wanted to go shopping this weekend! The perfect chance to ask her if she wanted to grab a coffee afterwards...
Or it would have been, if Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu’s impromptu wrestling match hadn’t sent Ichimatsu crashing into the couch Todomatsu was occupying, jarring his phone from his hands and into the clutches of Osomatsu.
His screen was open to Rina-chan’s texts.
“Totty,” said his brother, in a voice that would haunt Todomatsu’s nightmares for years to come, “have you been keeping secrets again?”
The other four were looking over now, poised to descend like vultures.
There was nothing Todomatsu could do to defend himself. Over the course of the next ten minutes, he was harangued, harassed, taunted, octopus-holded (after a brief mis-application of the technique to Choromatsu), and roundly mocked by all of his brothers, as they stole his phone to read his texts out loud.
“’Where do you want to meet today, Todomatsu-kun?’” said Osomatsu in an awful falsetto, fluttering his eyelashes grotesquely. “’I can come down by the river-bed if that’s closer...’” He switched to a simpering imitation of Todomatsu for the next: “’Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind the walk at all!’ Ah, Totty! You put a winky face at the end. A winky face! Totty. You know what that means, right? You know what you’re saying here?”
“Shut up! Give that back!” shouted Todomatsu, struggling vainly against Jyushimatsu’s hold on him.
Karamatsu shook his head, smirking. “Non non, brother. Oh, how it pains my heart that you’ve kept such things from us...”
“Go to hell! Of course I wasn’t going to tell you!”
“Flirting with a girl,” Choromatsu muttered in disgust.
“Die,” growled Ichimatsu from the couch.
“Like any of you shitty virgins can do any better!”
Jyushimatsu’s grip tightened slightly, and Todomatsu yelped.
“Let’s see...” Osomatsu scrolled further back. “Hey, how long has this been going on for, huh? This one’s dated last week...‘Running late today, sorry! Meet me by Sutabaa at 10?’ Oh, so that’s where you were in such a hurry to be.”
Todomatsu made a strangled sound of rage.
Osomatsu snorted derisively, and was about to speak again when the phone suddenly vibrated in his hand. He looked down, surprised. Todomatsu got a feeling like a bottomless pit had opened in his stomach. “Well look at that,” said Osomatsu, a shit-eating grin working its way onto his face. “It’s from Rina-chan!”
All of the brothers sans Todomatsu—and Jyushimatsu, who always looked like that—gained identical grins.
“’About the shopping this Sunday—“ Osomatsu began, and Todomatsu saw his chances evaporating like the diminishing sliver of light behind a closing door. With a desperate cry, he tore himself loose from his unsuspecting brother’s grasp and lunged towards Osomatsu.
“Whoa!” said Osomatsu, jerking the phone away from Todomatsu’s grasp. Todomatsu fell on him like a wild thing; there was no way he could match Osomatsu in a fight, but he had no intention of playing fair. He bit, scratched, and tore hair as Osomatsu tried to fend off his assault while keeping the phone hostage. The others crowded around, their rising cacophony of voices adding to the fray, though none of them lifted a finger to help either side.
The fight ended abruptly when Osomatsu overbalanced, catching himself himself on his elbow and producing a sharp crack from what should have been the floor.
Everybody froze.
Very slowly, Osomatsu lifted his arm. Underneath it was Todomatsu’s phone, now bearing spiderweb cracks spiraling out from an elbow-shaped indent in the screen.
“...Oops,” said Osomatsu.
Todomatsu let go of Osomatsu’s shirt and reached for the phone, oblivious to all else. He picked it up, hands shaking, a dull roar echoing in his ears as he tried turning on the screen to see the damage. The screen flickered on, the sleek modern interface of his texting app fractured by jagged back voids and splintering cracks.
His phone. They’d broken his phone.
Osomatsu was rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “Sorry,” he said. “It still works, right?”
“...You miserable pile of human trash.”
“Hey, Totty...” said Jyushimatsu, laying a hand on his shoulder from behind.
Todomatsu shrugged the hand off, standing up abruptly and glaring around the room at his brothers. Karamatsu and Choromatsu looked concerned, Ichimatsu looked indifferent, and Jyushimatsu kept his hand in the air, a wounded expression crossing his face. Todomatsu wanted to spit; what, they felt bad now? “All of you! You’re all trash! You’re useless, worthless, gutter-crawling scum who are never going to take a step up the social ladder because you’re too busy making sure the rest of us stay right where we are!”
“Um,” Choromatsu started to say, but Todomatsu cut over him.
“You’re a nuisance,” he seethed, rage directed at Choromatsu, and then in turn to the rest of his brothers: “A loser,” Karamatsu; “A freak,” Ichimatsu; “An idiot,” Jyushimatsu; and then he turned to Osomatsu to unleash a torrent of wrath on him, but Osomatsu was frowning.
“That’s no way to talk to your older brothers—“ he tried, but Todomatsu laughed harshly.
“Older brothers?! Are you kidding? Since when the hell have you ever acted like a big brother, Osomatsu-niisan?” he spat the honorific like a curse. “You’re the most useless of all of them! Just because they pulled you out first? Grow up! We’re all the same age!”
Silence hung over the room like a thick blanket, heavy and suffocating. Todomatsu was breathing hard. Everybody else was still, as if they would shatter if they moved.
The last thing Todomatsu saw as he fled was Osomatsu’s face, expression like a package torn open by an uncaring recipient, forlorn and vulnerable.
And here he was now, on the riverbank, the hood of his sweater pulled up against the eyes of passersby and the chill in the evening air. Alone.
Just like he wanted.
He took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. Still broken. Catching the light of the streetlamp overhead, he saw his splintered reflection staring back. His face, divided into countless pieces. It seemed apt. He shook his head and put the phone away, leaving unread and unanswered the text from Rina-chan.
His brothers ruined everything. They’d ruined his mood, and they’d ruined his phone, and they’d ruined his motivation. The shitty bastards.
He shouldn’t have said those things.
Damn it, come on! He was trying to feel sorry for himself here! The rest of them fired jabs at each other a dozen times a day, and they always shrugged it off like water off a duck’s back, the hardheaded jackasses.
But they never said it like they really meant it.
...They’d even ruined his ability to hate them. It wasn’t fair.
Todomatsu sighed deeply. Now what? It was late.... He was still pissed off at his brothers, and it would be awkward if he went back now. And he had no idea what he’d say to any of them.
Footsteps sounded behind him. Todomatsu hunched lower, irritably hoping they wouldn’t bother him. He just wanted to be left alo—
“Hey, Todomatsu.”
He cringed. Of course...it was Osomatsu. Todomatsu didn’t look at him, but out of the corner of his eye he saw his brother take a seat next to him on the bank.
“Nice night, huh?” said Osomatsu.
It’s not. I’m freezing, Todomatsu wanted to say, but instead he shrugged and gave a non-committal grunt.
“I could really go for a beer...”
“What do you want?” said Todomatsu, harshly.
“Figured we should talk,” said Osomatsu. Todomatsu stole a glance at him; he was sitting with his legs crossed, leaning back on his arms and looking contemplatively over the river. Catching Todomatsu’s gaze, he gave a rueful little smile, and Todomatsu quickly looked away.
“What’s there to talk about?”
Osomatsu laughed. “Wah! So cold! Though I guess I couldn’t call you my brother unless you were at least a little bullheaded.”
“Says the pot to the kettle,” snapped Todomatsu.
“Hey, it takes one to know one.”
Todomatsu fell silent. Osomatsu wasn’t just going to go away. He knew that. But if he was going to call Todomatsu bullheaded, then fine, he’d be bullheaded.
“Sorry about your phone,” said Osomatsu.
God dammit. “It’s just a phone,” he said sullenly.
“Oh, don’t give me that. You should have seen your face. I haven’t seen you that pissed since that one time—“
“Don’t ever mention that again,” said Todomatsu, vivid images of his brothers invading his place of employment haunting his memory.
“Haha. Sure thing, Totty.”
Todomatsu growled wordlessly.
“You’re kinda right though,” said Osomatsu, stretching his arms. “I really am a shit older brother. Remember when we were kids?”
Of course he remembered. What, was he supposed to be amnesiac? “Which part?”
“Ahh, just like...when none of the adults could tell us apart. I always got blamed for everything. ‘Osomatsu, did you break this window?’ ‘Osomatsu-kun, did you steal that fish?’ Jeez! I never got a damn break.”
Todomatsu felt a flash of annoyance. “That’s because it was always you! You and Choromatsu-niisan.”
His brother gave a chuckle, rubbing a finger under his nose. “Yeah, it was. I always tried to blame you guys anyway.”
“Ugh. Then all of us got punished...”
“Yep.”
“Don’t sound like you’re proud of that!”
“Hahaha! I can’t help it! If you had cute little brothers like me, you’d want to pin everything on them too.”
Todomatsu sighed. Yeah, he remembered...the golden days of his youth, when he could practically get away with murder. When the ‘six same faces’ were a blessing instead of a curse. Osomatsu always took the lion’s share of the blame for their escapades—and he did usually deserve it. But even when he didn’t...there he always stood, front and center. The leader of the pack, the one who everybody singled out. “Osomatsu-nii—“ he started to say, but Osomatsu interrupted, sounding contemplative.
“Yeah...with such a bunch of shitty brothers, I can see why you’d wanna pretend like we don’t exist to some girl. Six crazy NEET virgins? One’s probably enough for anybody. ‘Least you had a job once. You got it going on, man.”
Todomatsu felt a pang. It wasn’t that he wanted to pretend he was an only sibling. He just...he had to. His social life was fabricated, wholly separate from his reality; he had to seem successful, he couldn’t look like a loser, or he’d never get anywhere. He couldn’t stand it. Because really...he wasn’t any different. Living at home, pampered and spoiled, surrounded by his impenetrable wall of brothers...it was comfortable. He could live like that forever.
But he knew it couldn’t last. And it pissed him off, that he couldn’t live in ignorant bliss like so many of his brothers, that he had to be the one to try.
He shook his head. “Somebody’s gotta keep your dumb asses in line,” he muttered.
Osomatsu laughed. “Oi, isn’t that supposed to be my line? That might take actual effort, though...damn, you little brothers are a pain.”
Todomatsu jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow. “Not as much of a pain as you, Osomatsu-niisan.”
He wheezed. “Ow...okay, okay. But can we at least agree that neither of us are as painful as Karamatsu?”
Todomatsu nodded solemnly.
Then his phone went off with a loud buzz.
“Whoa!” said Osomatsu, jumping in surprise. “That thing still works? Thank god, I couldn’t afford a replacement.”
Todomatsu shot him a withering glare as he pulled the device from his pocket. “It’s still going to need the screen repaired.”
“Eh? C’mon, c’mon, it works, right?”
Shaking his head, Todomatsu turned on the screen. Ah...another text from Rina-chan. Suddenly, he felt nervous. What was she going to say...? Osomatsu hadn’t sent anything weird earlier, did he? Shit, he should have checked.
The brother in question peered over his shoulder. “It’s that girl, right? Hey, Totty, is she hot? How far have you guys gotten, huh? You like, hold her hand or anything? Have you touched her boobs?”
Todomatsu ignored him and bit the bullet, swiping the damaged screen to unlock it and display the messages. It was hard to read through the fractured screen, but there were two unead messages...he shielded his phone from Osomatsu automatically to read them.
“Oi, Totty, this is important! Hey! What’d she say, lemme see.”
Todomatsu couldn’t stop staring at the phone. What...no way...
“Totty,” whined his brother, before finally managing to pry the phone from Todomatsu’s nerveless grasp.
Hi Totty! Read the first text. About the shopping on Sunday, I might have to cancel. I’ll tell you more later, okay?
The second:
I’m definitely going to have to cancel, sorry! But you’ll never believe what happened! I always go to this one laundromat, right? And there’s this really hot guy I’ve seen a couple of times...but tonight he was there, and we got to talking...and he asked me out on a date! He says he had a crush on me, too, isn’t that crazy? Sunday was the best day for us both, so we’re going out then :) I’ll tell you all about it when we go jogging again! Love, Rina-chan.
Osomatsu read both texts, then whistled out loud. “Damn...she got you good, little brother.”
Todomatsu had drawn his knees up to his chest, pressing his face into them as he burst into tears. “This sucks! I hate girls! Damn it! I give up! Everybody can die!” he wailed.
Osomatsu patted him on the back sympathetically, then got to his feet. “Alright, alright...let’s get you home.” He hefted a limp and sobbing Todomatsu to his feet and slung an arm around his shoulder, leading him towards the path. “Hey, if Chibita’s still open, I’ll even buy you a beer...if you float me a loan for it.” He laughed.
At least Todomatsu still had his brothers. Yeah, he couldn’t get rid of them if he tried...but then again, maybe that’s why he tried in the first place.