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Facing that giant crowned red-ass checker, the last thing Susie expected was seeing Kris point at it, telling her to compliment it. She stared at them, a cross look on her face.
“What are you expecting me to do?” Her voice was stern, hoping that she came by as threatening. There was NO WAY she was going to talk to it. Ever. But Ralsei was already looking at her, ready to answer.
“Susie… I know this isn’t your thing… and that you like thrashing these monsters… but I know that if you talk to it, you can really help us out,” he smiled with that worried look in his eyes that he often carries.
“This. Is. NOT A MONSTER. I don’t know what that is, but that’s just ridiculous! What the hell!”
Lancer came from the… token... leg thing’s side of the screen, careful to not be in its range.
“Haha, I know what it is! And so, I know more than you do! And because of that I… am the better bad guy,” he exclaimed, leaving the screen without explaining anything. Susie grunted.
“Well I—I am still not good at complementing things. Kris, can’t you think of ANYTHING ELSE?”
Kris just stood there with no emotion of their face, still pointing in the token’s direction. It was once again Ralsei that answered.
“Hey Susie… I know you can say something nice… Just start small, and work your way up! Okay?” Once again, that patronizing look was on his face. It was slowly driving Susie nuts. Still, she took a deep breath and tried to go in smoothly.
“So… come here often?”
*He didn’t seem to know what Susie just said… but is still nodding along! Its crown loosened.
And next came the attack that shook their souls as the checker thingy landed closer to the trio, attempting to stomp them. Ralsei almost fell to the ground, panicking, but stayed upright. It was Kris who took a hit but they shook it off like no big deal.
Ralsei smiled, saying “hey, Susie, you made it almost drop its crown! Kris, try ACTing with Susie again, and we will win peacefully in no time!”
This time along Kris didn’t listen to Ralsei’s advice, but rather took a tour to check the enemy stats. Ralsei covered himself in his cutesy pink scarf. But Susie had no plan to play along in this stupid charade, preparing her axe.
* K. ROUND – AT 9 DF 3
* Check?
* That’s chess, not checkers!
It’s called K. Round? What does THAT mean? Whatever, it was Susie’s time to shine. She rushed forward, swinging her axe at that annoying red checker. The axe made a scratch on K.Round’s surface, but otherwise it bounced off pretty easily. As soon as she returned, Ralsei complained.
“Susie, look at him, he looks so upset now!”
“How do YOU see the difference?”
“His eyes are looking down and his small mouth is now curved… You hurt him emotionally!”
Susie’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she made gestures trying to make sense of what just happened in this short conversation. She turned around to Kris, wanting to wine about Ralsei, but they were pointing at K. Round giving Susie an ACTion to make.
“You... want me to apologize. To the giant checker. That’s wearing a crown. And has legs that are bigger than my future.”
Kris’ silence was enough to confirm what Susie was saying. Ralsei was really taking a role of being Kris’ voice.
“You clearly upset it, look, he didn’t even attack us this time around… I think it would be nice if you did… apologize.”
Susie took a deep breath, thinking how RIDICULOUS this is. Then, in an unemotional tone she said “I am sorry that I want to thrash you K. Round.”
Immediately he looked “happier” as he started shaking its giant checker up and down, loosening the crown even more. Before anybody could tell Susie what a great job she did, K. Round attacked, shooting stars, of all things, out of its legs, shaking them towards them. Susie started running, avoiding the stars like Shane Dawson avoids criticism. The moment the attack stopped she screamed,
“I AM NOT DOING THIS.”
“But Susie—”
“This is WAY out of my comfort zone. What are you expecting me to do?”
*KRIS asks SUSIE to compliment K. ROUND.
Susie looked at them, hatred in her eyes.
“What. Do you mean,” she hoped that Kris will decide NOT to do this to her. But no, they only kept their finger pointing at K.Round. Ralsei prepared a healing spell for Kris. Susie was hoping to pull her axe out but their turn would start any moment now, and it would start with her.
“Susie, you’re really—”
“NoooOOOOOoo. No. What you are asking ME right now is to FLIRT with it. You’re just covering it up with “compliments”. I can see right through your plan.”
She hoped she was serious enough to make Kris retract and find some better approach to defeat the checker monster. And as Susie hoped, Kris let their arm down retracting their command. Susie smiled to herself, once again preparing her axe but she was interrupted once again when...
*KRIS asks SUSIE to flirt with K.ROUND.
. . .
“I think that you will do this pretty well Susie..?” Ralsei looked at Kris, unsure what to do, and only got a shrug from them. Susie would NEVER do that, and it was a sure way to make her retract from the... uh… The $!$? Squad. So why did Kris…
Lancer glanced out once again and laughed like Santa Claus.
“Wow, you clowns! It is actually very silly, but I need to go and have a bathroom break. Will you wait for me? I want to see how this story unfolds! Just… give me a moment… it’s number two…”
He had that deflated face staring at them and then he SPRINTED away. Wait for him, huh? Nah.
It. Is. On.
“Hey K. Round,” Susie slid in slyly, lifting her fringe to give an exaggerated seductive glance, “did ya sit on a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”
Ralsei blushed with embarrassment the moment these words were out, staring at Susie all shocked. K. Round just started nodding, all happy to be a part of the mess that Susie was creating with her way too forward approach.
“See? There, I did my part. You can’t complain I didn’t.”
Ralsei was still too shocked to remember that she wanted to throw a healing spell. His tour passed and K. Round hopped forward to him, bouncing over her head and hitting the ground, hard, once again disturbing the ground and making Ralsei fall. Another jump would almost fall on him if Kris didn’t push him out of the way. The tone of the battle shifted. Or wanted to shift. Because Susie stood there, determined to charm K. Round. Ralsei whispered to Kris,
“Why… why did she change from being fully against to fully FOR the compliments?”
Kris only pointed at the spot where Lancer was a few moments ago, as if they wanted to tell that since nobody else is looking, it probably isn’t embarrassing.
“That’s… a good theory.”
“Nah.” Susie turned to them, probably overhearing their whispered conversation “I just never listen to anyone, and I am not listening to the Santa boy.”
Ralsei wanted to complain about this logic, as this means she IS listening to Kris, but Kris put their palm on his mouth before he shattered Susie’s motivation.
“Come on Kris, get me to flirt again!”
And so once again Kris gave this action to Susie. Still unsure, Ralsei actually prepared for his healing spell this time.
“Hey big boy~”
Ralsei hid his face with embarrassment, mortified, not ready to hear what Susie will decide to say next. Especially since it’s going too smoothly with her. Susie once again did a hair flip and fixed herself on Kris’ uncaring body as if she was leaning on a bar.
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Susie’s laugh roared through the battle but it only made K. Round more excited. And its crown almost dropped! The purple monster fell to the ground, still screeching from the ridiculousness of the line. Obviously it was a joke, and she was having way too much fun ridiculing Kris and their stupid actions. But her laugh went silent when K. Round jumped right next to her, and the words she said echoed back to her. Looking up at the looming monster she said, under her breath.
“Did I… did I invite it… to come close to me?”
She looked at it with a terrified smile as the huge checker lifted one of his legs, presenting its masterful muscle and shape that shined as if an aureole of stars hid behind it. Then, the leg swooped down catching Susie right around her waist, trapping her arms. She dropped her axe to free her hands to save herself, yet it was too late. K. Round placed his foot on the other leg’s knee, trapping Susie in the worst possible spot. She stared at her teammates as the legged checker hopped back to its position. No words were said.
But words were thought, and if anybody would try to write Susie’s thoughts down they would definitely learn a few new derogatory phrases.
“Umm…” Ralsei finally let out a sound after looking astonished at the new perplexing situation, “Kris, we should uh… do… something… to…”
“I. Am. DONE! WHERE IS THE EXIT BUTTON!?”
Susie started to struggle, wiggling her bottom to somehow leave the legged prison she found herself in. K. Round looked proudly at the team of two, knowing that he found his one true love. His name turned yellow as Kris was thinking of the best course of action.
“Susie…” Ralsei started, but wasn’t so sure if Susie was still listening. He decided to thread his next words carefully, “we might have an option that has a chance to succeed to… free you…?”
“Well then DO IT!”
Ralsei looked at Kris questioningly, wondering if they should say what this option is. Kris decided to go along without consulting Susie and chose to SPARE the red checker.
*You won 0 EXP and 24D$!
“What.” Susie just stared as they came out of combat and she was still in the hands legs of K. Round. Her panicked smile turned into rage, “I’M NOT FREE!”
“Oo… oops?”
K. Round started to hop away and Susie screamed “LET ME GO! I WAS JOKING!” But to no avail. K. Round was leaving with his new involuntary girlfriend. “I DID NOT GIVE CONSENT!”
Kris just stared at it, watching the mess unfold. Ralsei wanted to rush forward but the ground shook with every little hop the legged checker made. And so, every step he took was interrupted by his fall to the ground.
Susie was done for. She was literally done for. Defeated, she deflated in the legs of K. Round, waiting for her inevitable demise between the muscly legs. Chocked between two legs. That was definitely a way to go out, but she’d prefer if it was some legs she like and if those legs were choking her for a different reason.
But then, the unexpected happened. Lancer was riding his bike towards the heroes, happy to see they truly waited for his return! For his grand entry he pushed his feet off the ground, jumping high above their heads. He wanted to stop right in the middle but he greatly miscalculated (he still doesn’t know why, since he doesn’t know physics then it shouldn’t apply to him) and started falling earlier. He hit K. Round’s crown on his way down before crashing to the ground, and jumping back on his bike seconds later.
…
And the crown finally fell.
The checker turned tiny within seconds and Susie fell with a loud thud to the ground. She took a deep breath, thanking God for… wait, GOD didn’t do anything, it was that damned kid LANCER that saved her! She tried standing up but that dumbass checker was still on her back.
“Ho ho ho, I have made my return! Did I… did I kill the big guy? Where is he? Did Susie fall on him?”
Lancer looked innocently at Susie who was still laying on the ground.
“Wait. Was it REALLY me who defeated him?”
“Um… yeah, it was you Lancer. Nice job. We kind of… couldn’t win…” Ralsei looked at his feet in shame. Kris didn’t add anything to the table. Lancer stood there, proudly.
“Wow, I am really a bad guy! I am so bad that I defeat other bad guys! Ha!”
“Noo... you…” Susie started. Lancer looked at her surprised, “you… are okay… Kris and Ralsei… are the real monsters here.”
And so she laid there, defeated, as Lancer scrambled to understand what happened. But the truth was that love, love happened. A forbidden love that K. Round will one day try to regain. But until that day…
He rolled away, remembering the sweet compliments he got from his purple love.