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“Shit, shit, shit,” McCree muttered under his breath as he looked down impatiently at the watch Hanzo had got him for Christmas to ensure that he “would have no excuse for being late”.
Trying the best bakery in Gibraltar on a Saturday afternoon was practically a suicide mission, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
“D’ya have anythin’…bigger?” He eyed the the cake that the attendant brought him a frown. “And maybe in chocolate?”
She nodded and retreated to the back room, returning with an 8-inch chocolate cake decorated with fresh raspberries.
“Perfect. Ma’am, you’re a lifesaver!” He tipped his hat at the lady and she laughed at him.
“Big cake, big apology?” she asked in accented English.
“Now why would you think it’d be for an apology?” Jesse chuckled, reaching for payment.
She shrugged. “You look like you feel guilty.”
“Naw, that ain’t it. Thank you again!” Jesse called as he raced out the door.
After all, there was nothing to apologize for. It hadn’t been a lie: just a–convenient omission.
He stopped by the liquor store next, looking down at his watch again as he walked briskly through the doors.
4:00pm.
Winston had called the meeting to debrief the Deadlock attack two hours ago, a meeting that Jesse had missed, as he was making his way back from an uneventful solo mission. Fareeha had texted him 90 minutes ago to warn him about that one torn photograph they had found on the dash of that goddamn hoverbike. She had suggested he write his will and last testament.
It had only been 89 minutes ago that Jesse McCree had felt his heart rise to his throat in a way he’d not felt in years, and yet it felt like an eternity, which was something else with which McCree was not accustomed.
Most of the time, time flew by.
His time with Deadlock was a matter of minutes. His time in Blackwatch, just an hour. The fall of Overwatch happened in the blink of an eye, and in the blink of another, he had returned, found love, and had now been with Hanzo for three years.
No, that wasn’t quite accurate.
Time had flown by and it hadn’t. Because for three years every day had been a new, distinct, beautiful thing because of Hanzo, a new day that promised new memories, and new reasons to love his grumpy archer. Looking back, he could hardly believe that it had been so long, but in the present, he felt every day and every moment.
And for three fucking years, he had never told him about her.
“Shit, shit, shit,” he mumbled again, speed walking to the “International Liquors” aisle.
He had texted Genji earlier to get a better sense of the situation. Genji’s reply was blunt: “Bring cake. A big one.”
Shit.
McCree wondered at how bad the report had to have been to get both Fareeha and Genji so worried. Had there been other pictures? Did Jack inconveniently remember how Ashe had screeched his name the first time they met on opposite sides of the field, first in glee, then in dismay?
How much had they talked about Ashe’s background? Did Hanzo think he was a gold digger?
“Shit, shit, shit,” Jesse muttered, seeing that the store was plum out of Hanzo’s favourite sake. He picked the next best thing and hoped that it was enough.
After paying for his purchase, Jesse ran towards the boat he had docked at the pier, and revved the engine hard.
He’d never been one to worry, but the half hour that it took him to get from the mainland to the small island base gave him too much space to think exactly the wrong things.
It hadn’t been until Gabe forced some sense into him that he was able to see what Deadlock had been, and even then it had taken years. The allure of being free, of doing whatever the hell they’d wanted to do had been an elaborate lie that they had set up for themselves.
There had been consequences to those actions that a teenager was unable or unwilling to see, consequences that Ashe had continued to leave unacknowledged. Consequences that might continue to haunt Jesse today.
McCree clenched his teeth as he pulled up to Gibraltar’s dock, and absently tied the boat to a post. He sprinted through the front door after Athena granted him security clearance, knowing full well that speed would not really make things better, but being unable to shake the need to see Hanzo right now.
Training room: no.
Kitchen: no.
Rec room: no.
Bedroom: no.
Each empty room made Jesse’s heart beat just a little bit faster.
Maybe Hanzo didn’t want to see him. Maybe he was hiding. Or maybe, he was gone.
The last thought made McCree come to a full stop.
“Shit, shit, shi–”
“So there you are.”
Jesse spun to find Hanzo standing behind him in the hallway to their room, arms crossed, eyes curious.
“I thought you were due home several hours ago?”
Despite Jesse’s desperation to find Hanzo, he hadn’t really given much thought as to what he’d say once he did.
He thrust the box towards Hanzo instead.
“Cake,” he blurted out.
Hanzo raised an eyebrow.
“I got you cake,” he amended. “And this. But they didn’t have the one you like.”
Hanzo lit up immediately, his eyes glistening with delight. He herded Jesse backwards so that he could enter the room fully, and the door closed behind him.
“Thank you,” Hanzo reached for the cake without looking up to fully address Jesse, but this was to be expected. He placed the gifts on their small side table and began to undo the ribbon on the cake box, turning to give Jesse a small kiss on the cheek. “What is the occasion?”
This reaction was unexpected.
“Uh…”
“Speechless?” Hanzo snorted as he picked a raspberry off the top of the cake and popped it in his mouth. “How unlike you.”
When there was *still* no answer, Hanzo finally turned his full attention towards Jesse in concern. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry,” Jesse answered immediately.
Hanzo blinked again. “For what?”
“You’re not angry?”
“For what?” Hanzo repeated.
“At the meeting…” Jesse continued to falter.
“Oh,” Hanzo blinked. “That woman?”
Jesse nodded numbly.
“You thought…that I would be angry that you’d not told me about her?” Hanzo asked slowly, trying to piece together what McCree seemed unable to say.
“Pretty much.”
Hanzo’s silences were what frightened Jesse the most. While Jesse was fairly good at reading Hanzo, silences meant that Hanzo was thinking, and that he himself had not come to a decision that could be read.
“Do you love her?”
Jesse looked up sharply. That tone he knew too well. Doubt.
“No,” he shook his head to emphasize the point. “Not now, not ever.”
“Do you love me?” Hanzo pressed on, stepping fully away from the cake now and towards Jesse.
“How is that even in question?” Jesse murmured, taking a step closer and reaching out by instinct for Hanzo’s waist.
Hanzo snorted, allowing himself to be folded into Jesse’s arms. He tilted his head upward.
“Then what is the problem?”
“Genji said you were upset,” Jesse tried, realizing his error as soon as he had put it into words. “…or at least, that I should bring cake.”
“You should always bring cake,” Hanzo nodded solemnly.
“The little shit played me, didn’t he?” Jesse sighed.
Hanzo chuckled. “I cannot be angry at him for it this time. It meant that I got cake.”
Jesse grunted, taking a few steps back to kick off his shoes into the corner of their room. Hanzo’s expression softened.
“You are upset.”
“Damn right I’m upset,” Jesse grumbled. “Spent the entire afternoon scared shitless that I’d ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“How foolish,” Hanzo chastised. “To think that you owe me this. Jesse, if I’ve not told you about my many previous lovers, it’s only because they do not matter.” Hanzo lifted a hand to the side of Jesse’s face, and McCree nuzzled into it.
“Lover is a strong word.” McCree rolled his eyes. He drew stiff though when the full meaning of Hanzo’s words sunk in. “Wait. ‘Many’?”
Hanzo continued on as though he had not heard the question. “You are the only one I love. And if you think the same, which I know that you do, then my mind is at ease.”
“How many are we talkin’ about?” Jesse frowned.
“It doesn’t matter how swole, or good looking, or flexible my previous–”
“What now?!” Jesse sputtered before he noticed that Hanzo was smirking. “Oh.” He ducked his head sheepishly and Hanzo laughed.
Hanzo framed Jesse’s face with both hands, pulling gently so that Jesse was looking at him again.
“Only you,” Hanzo repeated, smiling the same smile that Jesse knew only he ever saw. All jealousy and anxiety melted away.
“Only you,” Jesse murmured, pressing forward to seal the words with a kiss.