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CPH FANFICTION BUT WITH MY FRIENDS [ADD TITLE LATER]

Summary:

HI EVERYONE.!. PERIDOT-5XG HERE!!!!... DO YOU LOVE CPH AS MUCH AS I DO?!!!!???! WELL TOO BAD NO ONE LOVES IT AS MUCH AS ME—. THIS FICTION OF FANLINESS SHALL PROVE THAT TO BE THE CASE!1!1! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRITING PROWESS!!!!!!!!

(OR: The story of Steven Universe, as told through Peridot’s Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction.)

(PLEASE IGNORE THAT CAPTION MERE MORTALS. MY ASSOCIATE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT)

Notes:

CaptainJZH: Happy 5th anniversary, SU!

Peridot5XG: WHAT IS SU??? THIS IS A CPH FANFIC. STOP TYPING.

Chapter 1: Chapter No. #1A

Chapter Text

Stephan Solarsystem was your average, severely overweight Earth-dwelling boy. He had only arrived at Camp Pining Hearts a few days ago, and was protected dearly by three Camp Counselors, Amyanda, Perline, and Garretta (who did not suspiciously look like two kids stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat).


Stephan was upset.


“Where are my Biscuit Felines????!!!!” he cried out in the camp store, seeing that his favorite snack was all gone.


“I’m angry at myself and the world,” the jerky teenage boy Larry muttered, “Insert Cynical Remark About the Stephan’s Immaturity Here”


Stephan danced over to the cabin in which he dwelled, where he was greeted by the three Camp Counselors, fighting evil cockroaches.


“Oh Stephan, I was woefully in love with your mother who died to bring you into this cruel and uncaring world left the campground so you could be here with us,” Perline said calmly as she stomped on the cockroaches with satisfactory amounts of grace.


“I’m scrappy and a troublemaker but lovably lovable with some emotional baggage for later!” Amyanda remarked as well.


“Uhhhhh…” Garretta said with her trademarkly stoic face, “I am not two tiny people stacked on top of each other. Please disregard any evidence in favor of this theory.”


And so Stephan and the Camp Counselors went on many wondrous adventures together, learning valuable life lessons along the way. BUT THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FLAME COUNTRY ATTACKED WHEN STEVEN MET A NICE LADY NAMED LAPIS BOB BOBERTA!


“Thank you Stephan,” Boberta told him as the pair met, “But I hate this place and must leave immediately after fighting your friends!” Boberta punched the Camp Counselors and ran off towards the water.


“But I don’t know anything about you!” Stephan shouted as Boberta hopped into the lake and swam away, “When will I learn more?!”


“I dunno, a couple years? Peridot’s release schedule SUCKS” Boberta called out as she disappeared over the horizon.


Also there’s this girl Connerie that Stephan is madly in love with.


“We’re best friends!” Connerie and Stephan cheered into the sky for no particular reason.


Sure you are, kiddos, sure you are. NOW KISS!


BETA-READER COMMENTS HOW DO I DELETE THESE:

St3v3nUn1v3r53 - I like it! Stephan speaks to me for some reason.

[email protected] - I don’t understand the setting or the characters or the story but it’s humorous, I’ll admit that.

Lapis Lazuli - I don’t know why, but I get weird vibes from Boberta.

MadeOfLove5750 - Your writing shows promise. Continue revising your ideas into the best they can be. Also, Garetta is lovely.

AmethystIsATurd - POST THIS RIGHT AWAY.