Chapter Text
“What are you most excited about? Do you think we’ll meet a lot of new people? Do you think I should have packed more than the two bathing suits?” Kara rambled on as Alex narrowed her eyes and tried to focus on the words swimming on the page in front of her, letting out a vague noise every so often to pretend like she was listening.
Eliza shifted in the front seat, turning around to face them. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, dear.”
“It’s just, we’ve never gone away for this long before. What if I need something from back home?”
Alex fished her headphones and her Discman out of her bag, managing to get her music playing before a sharp reprimand from Eliza left her shrugging them off again.
“This is a family vacation, Alexandra. We’re trying to be present.”
Alex rolled her eyes as she shoved everything back into her bag, muttering under her breath there being about better uses of her time and complaining about family decisions made without consulting the entire family.
“Come on, Alex.” Jeremiah glanced back at her through the rearview mirror. “I know it’s not surfing, but there are tons of other activities there. I’m sure you’ll find something fun.”
“Maybe…”
“And there will be plenty of people your age, maybe you’ll even find some of your Stanford classmates there.”
“Kay.”
Eventually they arrived at Kellerman’s Lakeside Retreat, some place up the coast that Alex was fairly certain they were only at because her dad’s boss had made some offhand remark about it, and apparently the way to get a promotion was to stand out in the hot sun and hit golf balls together, as if that made either of them better scientists. She wasn’t sure why her mom had gone along with it, but then again, she didn’t understand most of her mom’s decisions or her arbitrary rules—like when it was and was not appropriate to listen to music on the Discman she’d purchased with her own money from tutoring.
“Welcome!” A large man in a suit that seemed too hot for the sunny day greeted them, waving both hands at once. With a snap of his fingers, two young men materialized and began unloading the trunk the moment Jeremiah popped it open. Alex didn’t pay attention to her dad’s conversation with the man, instead looking around at the throngs of people. They all seemed to know each other, the kids shrieking and running around the grassy lawn, while the dads laughed too loudly and slapped each other on the shoulder and the moms clumped around under the umbrellas with glasses of chilled rosé in their hands. Perhaps she could sneak a glass or two of that…
One of the boys unloading the car bumped into Alex while she wandered distractedly towards the back of the sedan, her thoughts still swirling with half-baked plans for how she might sneak into the kitchens.
“Shoot! I’m so, so sorry.” He jumped back, ducking his head down.
“You’re fine,” Alex muttered, watching as he swayed under the heavy weight of one of the suitcases. “Here, let me help you.”
“You don’t—that’s not your job. You’re here to, you know”—he gestured around them—“enjoy yourself and relax and stuff.”
Alex shrugged. “Not really my thing.”
“What? Not a fan of relaxing?” He glanced up to find Alex pursing her lips and glaring. “Sorry, sorry. Wrong audience for a joke.”
“No, sorry,” Alex huffed, pushing her hair back and out of her eyes. “This…I’d rather be home with a surfboard and my physics textbooks getting a head start on reading for next year.”
“Oh! You study science too?”
“Yeah.” Alex returned her attention to the boy, considering him in a new light. “Do you?”
He nodded eagerly, traipsing over to the cart to deposit one of the bags while Alex hefted another one up on top of it. “I’m studying computer science at MIT.” He extended his hand. “Winn. Winn Schott.”
“Alex Danvers. I’m studying bioengineering at Stanford.”
“Oh very cool!”
“Winn!” The large man from before snapped his fingers, and Winn shuffled backwards, putting a few feet of distance between himself and the guests. “Get your job done.”
“Yes, sir.” He turned back to Alex. “Sorry, I, uh, really need to keep this job. You know, tuition and all that.”
“Right, right. Sorry.” Before Alex could offer to help carry the bags for Winn, her dad was motioning for her to join him. “Yeah?”
“Alex, meet Collin. He manages the retreat here.”
“Alexandra!” He extended a slightly pink hand, shaking hers with a bit too much force.
“Nice to meet you, sir.”
“I hear such wonderful things about you and your father from Joseph.” Alex smiled and nodded, figuring Joseph was probably her dad’s coworker, the reason they were stuck out here for a month. “I have someone I want you to meet too—I’ll find you tonight.”
“That sounds great,” Jeremiah answered for Alex when he noticed her tight-lipped grimace. The moment Collin had left, Jeremiah put an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Try to enjoy yourself, hmm? Look at Kara. She’s already signing up for classes.”
Alex glanced over at Kara and rolled her eyes. Figured. No matter how much she’d come to like her new little sister over the years, there were certain things about her she’d never understand. Like her enjoyment of socialization and clubs and group activities and basically everything that this “vacation” was supposed to be about. And the pastels. Alex shuddered.
“Alex!” Kara’s voice dragged Alex out of her thoughts. “There’s a dance class down by the gazebo starting in five. Want to go?”
And the answer was no. A clear and resounding no. But Kara had those stupid big blue puppy dog eyes and the bright smile and the little pout when she thought Alex might say no, and somehow Alex found herself nodding and being dragged down the lawn. At the very least, it earned her an approving smile from her parents that she might be able to turn into a night away from them down the line.
“Kara, this is full of old people,” Alex whined, surreptitiously glancing around them.
But Kara merely shrugged, still smiling. “Then we should be the best ones here!”
As it turned out, they were not. Not by a long shot.
The instructor—some tiny woman with dark hair and tan skin and prominent dimples—walked them through the steps of the most basic salsa dance multiple times, but Alex found herself tripping over her feet no matter how many times she heard the same simple choreography repeated. And it wasn’t even like she was trying to fuck it up. She might not want to be there, but she hated failing at something even more than she hated participating. But somehow, whenever the woman began moving, one toned arm coming up into position and her other hand gesturing at her hips as they rolled and moved in time with the music, Alex found her focus slipping away.
By the time they partnered up, Alex was left with some sweaty middle-aged man who was almost as bad as she was, and she excused herself a few minutes before the class ended, ignoring Kara’s calls to wait up.
Of course, Kara found her soon enough, plopping down on the dock right next to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Nothing.”
“C’mon. I know we didn’t talk as much while you were at school, but I’m still your sister.”
“It’s not…nothing’s wrong. I’m not mad at you.” That much was true. She might be bitter watching Kara interact with her mom sometimes, but she wasn’t angry.
“You haven’t even talked to me about how the spring semester went.”
No, Alex thought, because there wasn’t really a good way to say, Hey! I got drunk at a party and made out with a girl, and even though I don’t totally remember it, I think it meant something. But she watched enough news to know that thinking harder about it all was a bad idea, to know that people were always on air yelling about “the homosexuals” and everything that came along with them. And besides, deep down she just knew her mom would never let her live it down. She wasn’t peppy enough, wasn’t pleasant enough, didn’t choose the school her mom thought would be the best choice, and now what? Now she was a lesbian too? No. It was better to ignore it. After all, it was probably the alcohol that made it seem like it mattered. Too many drinks in too little time under too much stress. A formula for disaster. Not that knowing it would lead to disaster kept her from making the same mistake over and over again…
“Alex?”
“Sorry, I don’t know. Long semester. Lots of work. You knew I was gonna be taking some of the big weed-out classes.”
“Yeah…they sound awful.”
“They were.” Alex let herself fall into the familiar routine of talking about classes and asking Kara about her own life. It was safe. Easy. Alex could play the protective, wise big sister role; she knew where she stood then, knew it was something that her parents approved of and her sister appreciated, and she could and would do it.
Eventually they trudged back to the cabins, finding the one they’d be staying in and unpacking all of their things in the room they would be sharing. While Kara focused on properly settling her clothes into the drawers, separating them out by type and smoothing them so they wouldn’t wrinkle, Alex kicked her duffel bag under the bed. “I’m gonna go walk around, okay?”
“You know we’re meeting for dinner in an hour, right?”
Alex took a minute to throw on a blazer. “There, now I’m all dressed.”
Kara chuckled and waved goodbye. “Just be on time, yeah? I don’t want to have to referee between you and Eliza on day one.”
“Yes, yes.”
For a while, Alex wandered around the grounds, looking at the different areas she’d seen designated for activities on the map. She paused at the sound of a loud voice, peering through an open window and finding Collin standing in front of a cluster of white-clad waitstaff. “Now remember, we’re trying to show the guests a good time, yes?” They all nodded. “And you—you’re my college boys, my Ivy Leaguers. I want you out there charming the daughters and their mothers, reminding them of why they come here each summer.” Alex tried not to gag.
She ducked a little lower at the sound of more people entering the room, peering up in time to catch sight of the tiny dance instructor from earlier cutting across the floor along with a group of other people Alex didn’t recognize.
“And you all stay away from them. You show them the dances, give them a private lesson if they pay for it, but you keep your hands to yourself, got it?” Collin waggled his finger at them like some sort of scolding patriarch.
One of the waiters stepped closer, thrusting his chest out as he sneered at the entertainment staff. “Think you can manage it?”
A tall, handsome man with dark skin stepped in front of the dance instructor, muscular arms folded over his chest. “I think we’ll be just fine, man. How about you worry about yourself?”
At the sound of people moving toward the door where Alex was crouched, Alex jumped off the porch, jogging quickly enough that she was already several yards away by the time the door swung open. Figuring she might as well go find her family for dinner then, Alex wandered back in the direction of the dining hall, hoping she’d be able to avoid creepy Collin for a while.
Of course, that while lasted only until their salads were served.
“How is everything? Up to your expectations?”
Alex rolled her eyes and mimed a gagging motion at Kara, who covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.
“It’s great so far,” Jeremiah answered. “Our two girls were already up at one of the dance lessons.”
“Fabulous, just fabulous. And your waiter? He’s been good to you?”
“The best, sir,” the pompous boy from earlier interjected with what Alex guessed was supposed to be a charming smile.
“Ah, of course, Mike, my good boy.”
“And it’s been a pleasure getting to serve such lovely ladies.” Mike winked at the two of them, and Alex kicked Kara’s shin when she rewarded him with a smile and a dip of her head.
Once he refilled their glasses, Mike disappeared again, and Alex let out a sigh of relief, only to tense up once more when Collin dragged another boy over. “And this is who I wanted you to meet. Maxwell Lord, this is Dr. Danvers and his wife, also Dr. Danvers, and these are their daughters, Alexandra and Kara.”
“Pleasure to meet you all.”
Alex wondered if the crooked smile and tousled hair did it for most girls. She could maybe see the appeal, but it seemed more smarmy than seductive.
“Maxwell here is my nephew, and he’ll be helping me out this summer. He goes to school at Harvard”—Alex wondered how much effort it took to stretch a word out for that long—“though he’s going to be a scientist—following in his parents’ footsteps instead of mine, I suppose.”
Alex noticed the grimace on Maxwell’s face as he cleared his throat. “I think it’s what would honor their legacy.” She felt herself softening slightly.
“Maxwell will be at the after-dinner dance tonight. Hopefully he’ll see you there?”
As it turned out, hope had little to do with it; Collin brought both Maxwell and Mike over to their family the minute the music started playing, nudging them toward Alex and Kara with a jovial, “Enjoy yourselves!”
“Have fun, kids,” Jeremiah added as he held out a hand for Eliza, grinning as she spun into him.
“Kara?” Mike extended a hand towards her, and Alex was grateful to at least be spared that particular indignity.
“Alexandra?”
“Just Alex.”
“Then you should know, I’m just Max.”
Alex gave him a small smile as she dropped her hand into his, letting him lead her around the room in a slower dance. Eventually they settled into a conversation about school and their studies that Alex could tolerate as a subject, though she found him almost intolerably pompous, convinced as he was that he alone would be the man to change the world.
A flurry of movement and a ripple of excitement running through the crowd caught Alex’s attention, and she glanced over her shoulder to find the instructor and the tall man from earlier dancing, the guests around them having moved back to give them a large berth. Alex watched, entranced, as they moved together, their bodies working perfectly in sync as they held eye contact, their world narrowed to the two of them. Alex swallowed heavily as the woman’s leg lifted all the way up, revealing lengths of lean muscle and smooth skin. She never thought of herself as someone who wanted to know how to dance or even cared about it, but in that moment, she longed to be able to do as they did, to have the skill to move like that, stepping in and sweeping the woman up in her arms. Or no. No, she should want to be the one swept up in those strong arms. But watching as the man’s hand trailed up the instructor’s thigh, his other cupping at her bare back, Alex knew somewhere deep inside of her that she longed to take his place, not hers.
“They shouldn’t be doing that.”
“What?” Alex blinked slowly, forcing herself to return her attention to Max.
“They’re showing off, trying too hard.” He shook his head and let out a little tsk of disapproval. “That’s not what sells lessons.”
“People seem to be clapping.” Alex gestured around them at what looked like a crowd of fairly impressed guests.
“Sure, they clap, but it’s too intimidating. They don’t see that and think they could do it, and if they don’t think they could do it, they won’t buy lessons.”
“Here I thought you weren’t invested in this side of the family business.” Alex arched an eyebrow at Max, who merely laughed.
“Doesn’t mean I won’t make sure it’s as profitable as it can be while I’m here.”
“Right.”
Eventually Max excused himself to talk to Collin, who forced the two dancers to break apart and partner up with some of the other guests. Alex didn’t know about everyone else, but her own interest in dancing plummeted then.
Catching sight of Max ambling back across the room, Alex ducked outside, letting the fresh air clear her head. She walked down to the lake, making a slow loop around it to pass the time. On her way back up toward the main grounds, she noticed Winn struggling under the weight of three large watermelons.
“Here, let me help!” Alex called out, jogging up the hill to him.
“No! No, no, no. Can’t do that.”
“What? Why?”
“Collin would kill me. Your parents would kill me.”
“For lifting something?”
“It’s for a staff-only party. Just the entertainers, no guests.”
Alex wondered if the dance instructor would make an appearance. “I won’t tell…”
Winn’s mouth twitched as he considered it, but when one of the watermelons rolled out of his arms, saved from smashing to the ground only by Alex’s quick reflexes, he nodded his head. “But you can’t say anything!”
“Got it.”
“Why are you out here anyway?”
Alex shrugged. “Bored at the dance.”
“Well, I can definitely promise you won’t get bored here.”
Alex’s curiosity was piqued, and she followed Winn up the stairs, listening as the sound of a rather different kind of music built the closer they got to the old wooden building. When they made it to the top of the stairs, Winn wiggled his eyebrows as he turned and bumped open the door with his hips.
Alex’s jaw dropped at the sight of all the dancers moving together. It looked like a college party if everyone had years and years of dance experience and enough lean muscle to look like a model.
“Pretty different from down there, huh?” Winn asked with a chuckle.
“Very.”
Hips rolled and bodies pressed together, and Alex thought it was all more sensual—hell, more like sex itself—than any of the naked fumbling she’d done with the college boyfriend she managed to keep for all of three months until they couldn’t stand another minute of trying to act like it was working. She suddenly felt rather dowdy in her oversized blazer and jeans. They wore tank tops tied high above their belly buttons and cut-off shorts and v-neck t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up, leaving dewy skin on full display.
She shuffled to the side of the room with Winn, simply watching for several songs until the two dancers from earlier entered, earning a chorus of whooping and cheering as they spun each other into the room before sliding back together with a kind of practiced ease.
Glancing over at Alex and finding her lips parted and eyes wide, Winn chuckled. “See you’ve got the same reaction as every woman around here.”
“Hmm?”
“Oh nothing. Just James Olsen and his six-pack abs and the big arms and the deep voice that drives the ladies crazy.”
James… Alex blinked, forcing her eyes off the small woman and up to the man—James, apparently. “Oh. Yeah, they, uh, they work so well together.”
“You’d never believe they weren’t a couple, huh?”
“Yeah…” Alex’s head snapped up to look at Winn once the meaning of the words sunk in. “Wait. They’re not?”
“No. With Maggie? Definitely not.” Winn snorted at a joke Alex didn’t understand, waving off the unspoken question. “Not for me to say.”
When the song ended, James and Maggie bowed, laughing and teasing the other dancers as they mingled with the crowds. Alex watched as Maggie’s gaze roamed around the room, soon landing on Winn and the newcomer. Alex barely had time to prepare herself before Maggie was in front of them, a finger pointed at Alex’s chest. “Why’s she here?”
“Hey, hey, she’s okay. She’s with me.”
Maggie’s eyes raked up and down Alex’s body, and Alex felt like she was being given an examination she definitely hadn’t prepared for. “She family?”
“Um, I don’t know. But I swear, she’s not gonna say anything. Right, Alex?”
“Right,” Alex managed, her voice higher-pitched than she remembered it being.
“Fine.”
It didn’t feel fine, though, and Maggie soon spun on her heel, leaving Alex behind. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, she’s just…she doesn’t love newcomers, that’s all.”
It felt like a half-truth at best, but Alex’s attention was soon claimed by the sight of Maggie and James partnering up once more as a new song began.
After a few bars, James caught Alex staring, his mouth quirking up into an easy smile. With a whisper to Maggie, James strode across the room, pointing at Alex, then motioning for her to join him.
“Me?” Alex squeaked.
“Come on, I see you watching. Don’t you want to try?”
Alex thought trying was probably the worst idea in the world, especially trying next to a bunch of people who were paid to be good at that kind of thing. But James was still grinning and standing there, and with a little shove from Winn, she stumbled forward into James’s waiting arms.
The first several bars of music involved a lot of awkward fumbling and standing still and stepping on toes. “Alright, how about we try something a little easier to start, yeah?”
“Okay.”
“Follow my lead, that’s all you’ve gotta do. Just trust me. Feel the way I’m moving.”
Alex tried, even closing her eyes in an attempt to stay a little more in time with the music and in touch with the movements of James’s body.
“That’s better.” His deep voice rumbled up his chest, and Alex could feel it vibrating between them, pressed as close as they were. “Now is there anything else you want to try?”
Alex looked around at all the different ways people were dancing. Some were on their own, breaking out Michael Jackson-inspired moves, while others paired up, bringing new life to old dance styles or adapting as they went. Alex’s eyes were drawn to Maggie, to the way she danced through the room, her movements fluid, rarely staying with a new partner for more than a few lines before gliding to the next one.
“Ohh.”
Alex’s attention snapped back to James at the knowing tone in his voice. “What?”
“Nothing, I just…here, give me a minute, okay? You keep dancing.”
Of course, without James there, Alex felt silly swaying by herself, and she could feel her cheeks burn when she caught sight of James whispering to Maggie, whose full attention was suddenly on her.
A few minutes later, Maggie strutted back over to Alex. “How’d you get Winn to bring you up here?”
“I carried a watermelon.” Alex closed her eyes and prayed for a sinkhole to force the ground to open wide and swallow her whole. Unfortunately it never came.
“A watermelon, huh?”
“Um, yes.”
One corner of Maggie’s mouth pulled up into a smirk. “Well, watermelon girl, show me what you got.”
“Oh, I, um, I’m not—this really isn’t my thing.”
“So you came to a dance party because…?”
Alex squirmed under the intensity of Maggie’s gaze. “I don’t know. I was just trying to get away from the main dance hall.”
“Guess that’s one redeeming point in your favor.” Alex’s heart swelled at the lukewarm praise. “I hear there’s another too…”
“I don’t know—”
“Don’t worry about it.” Maggie brushed off the question, letting her hands drift over to Alex’s hips. “Just follow my lead, yeah?”
Alex couldn’t quite manage a full inhale, let alone an answer.
“C’mon, loosen up a little.”
Alex gulped and forced herself to nod. Merely existing felt difficult, maybe even impossible, but when Maggie stepped forward, closing the distance between them and slotting their legs and hips together, Alex was fairly certain she had died.
“Roll your hips.” Maggie’s voice was low and a little gravelly, and it made Alex’s heart skip a beat. Her hips, however, did not cooperate. She wondered if she’d always been that stiff, her movements jerky and uncoordinated, but simply hadn’t noticed it because she’d never tried moving that way.
“I…I don’t…”
“Relax. Follow my lead. It’s easy if you trust your body.”
Alex wanted to point out that all of that was easier said than done, but Maggie’s thumbs were rubbing soft circles over her hipbones, and her body grew pliant beneath the touches.
“Better,” Maggie purred, her lips so close to Alex’s ear that Alex could feel the warm weight of her breath.
“I, uh, good teacher,” Alex managed, her chest heaving with the effort of gathering oxygen from her shallow inhales.
Maggie hummed, her hand moving to the center of Alex’s back as she dipped her. Maggie followed Alex forward, then dragged her back up in a slow, fluid movement. Alex knew none of it was her doing, but she felt herself relaxing anyway, like maybe she wasn’t quite so terrible as she feared.
“Hold onto my hips,” Maggie ordered, and seconds later she was folding herself backward, bending in ways Alex, with all her biology and anatomy classes, didn’t realize humans could bend. As she rolled back up, Alex’s eye were drawn down to what she knew must be impossibly strong abs.
“Ready to try something a little faster?”
Alex nodded because she didn’t know what else she was supposed to say. But then Maggie’s leg was hooking up over Alex’s hip, and Alex’s hand was on bare skin, and it was all so much—too much—as Maggie shimmied back, shaking her hair over her shoulders. When she lowered her leg back down to the ground, Alex thought she might have a moment to center herself again, but then Maggie’s hands were on her ass as she drew them together, Maggie’s smile playful, her lips dipping to Alex’s neck and pressing what felt like searing kisses to heated skin.
Alex’s heart thundered in her chest, and the room felt much too small, the bodies around her too close and the walls shrinking in on them. “I—I should—”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Maggie murmured, pulling back to meet Alex’s gaze, her expression suddenly serious. “Down there it might not be, but up here you can be gay. No one’s judging, alright?”
“I—I’m not—that’s not me.”
Maggie’s gaze hardened as she stepped away. Alex could see a muscle twitch as she clenched her jaw tighter. “I think you should go.”
“No! I mean, I’m not gonna, you know, say anything.”
“What? Because it’s some dirty secret I should have to hide?”
James stepped over then. “Something wrong?”
“She’s just leaving.”
Alex ducked her head. “Yeah, I, uh, I’m going.”
She took the long way back to the cabin, finding her parents sitting up and waiting for her when she returned.
“Where have you been, Alexandra? We were worried sick.”
“I just went for a walk…I wanted to explore, that’s all.”
Jeremiah sighed, clapping a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I know that you’ve been away at college, and you probably feel like you’re more independent now, but you need to tell someone if you’re going to wander off like that again. We were worried.”
“Sorry,” Alex muttered. “Won’t happen again.”