Chapter Text
The train rumbled ahead mindlessly, chugging along on a journey with only one final destination. The same, lonely destination for all three of its passengers. Gladio tried to avoid the other two for the most part, the large empty train cars with their quiet reminders of what they were missing. Of what they had been forced to leave behind.
He shouldn’t have been surprised. He had forced Noct to keep moving when he had lost Lunafreya, had been forced to remind him that there were larger issues at stake. So, of course, they couldn’t go back for Prompto. Not with Gladio there to keep them all in line. If he hadn’t been so hard on Noct earlier, he was certain there was nothing that would have stopped Noct from going back for his friend, even if it meant they would have to fight the whole Empire to get him back.
Instead of tearing off to save the day, Noct told them everything that happened, starring at him the whole time. Like he was waiting for him to say it would be okay for them to go back and rescue Prompto. Because they needed Prompto. Noct had been waiting and silently pleading with him to relent to make everything okay again. But he couldn’t give that to him.
Personal feelings aside, technically, they didn’t need Prompto. They only needed Noct. The rest of them were expendable. He clenched his fist and stared out at the frost covered mountains, trying to urge the rumble of the train to block out his thoughts. They were all expendable except for Noct. He need to remember that, or the next time it might not be someone’s eyesight. Next time he slipped up, they might lose Noct. That was a sacrifice none of them could afford to make.
He had really screwed up this time. He had a lot of time to think about it now that Prompto was gone and no one else was talking to him. Not that he thought Prompto would be talking to him if he was around. Not after the way he had acted. He didn’t know why anyone should want to come talk to him. That was why he spent so much time avoiding the other two. They had all been under a good deal of stress lately, but that was no excuse for him to act the way he had. He had needed Noct to listen to him, and maybe he had been being a little too rough, but then Prompto had to go and try to intervene. He couldn’t look at his face; he knew he would have lost his resolve. Just like he had made the decision to save Prompto instead of Ignis, and Ignis had ultimately paid the price with his eyes. He couldn’t afford to make that mistake twice.
So, instead of letting Prompto change his mind, he violently pushed him aside. If he hadn’t done that, maybe they wouldn’t have been separated when the attack came. Maybe Prompto would still be with them. Instead he was who knew where most likely being tortured. And given what Noct said Ardyn could do, there was plenty of ways he could torture him. And Ardyn would pay for every single last one of them. Just as soon as they got this whole world saving thing out of the way.
The air was definitely getting colder the closer they got to the Empire. Prompto would have hated it. He was always complaining about the cold, even when it was only a slightly chilly evening. He used to mumble about the cold and slide closer to him inside the tent. He should have taken advantage of those moments, just wrapped his arms around him and pull him close. Never let him go. But his chances were all used up, and even if they did manage to reunite with Prompto, he wouldn’t want anything to do with him.
Not that it would have made much of a difference. Prompto was Noct’s best friend, and things would have gotten very complicated if he had acted on those feelings. Besides, he knew now better than ever that if he would have allowed himself to get carried away in some silly fantasy, it would have impeded his ability to protect Noct. Nothing could be allowed to come in the way of that duty. Maybe it was for the best that he might very likely die before he ever go the chance to see Prompto again. He didn’t need to screw things up more than he already had.
He hated to think about what Ardyn might be doing to Prompto. Especially with the confirmation from both Noct and Ignis about how Ardyn could make someone believe that he was someone else. With abilities like that, there was no telling how much he would be able to mess with Prompto’s head. He needed a drink to help him forget about whatever might be going on over there, but he couldn’t drink. He needed to stay sharp in case someone decided to attack them. His top priority was still to protect Noct, no matter how he might feel.
“Hang in there, Prompto,” he murmured before turning his attention back to the snowy peaks outside the window.
~*~*~*~
He lost track of how long he had been in the prison. He thought he had gotten away, that he was going back with his friends. That they were going to be together soon, and they would all have a good laugh about the time they had while they had been separated. That was what was supposed to have happened. Then someone got the jump on him and here he was, chained up and barely holding onto consciousness.
He didn’t understand how things had managed to go so wrong. Focusing on how he had possibly wound up in this situation was a lot better than focusing on the pain. Things had been going so well. He knew he had to get back to his friends. They were going to save the world or something. But instead of the reunion he had been looking forward to, he had woken up in this place. For a moment, he had wondered if everything that had happened before had been some sort of bizarre dream. Especially since he had woken back in his regular clothes.
He knew that was just wishful thinking. Some part of him wanted to hold on to the belief that he was someone he was not, someone who could still be accepted by Noct and Ignis and Gladio. Maybe it was better if he never had to see them again. Then they wouldn’t have to know the truth about what he was.
Dwelling on what had happened wasn’t going to help him get out of his current situation, and it wasn’t improving his mood. He would never understand how he had gotten here. Maybe Aranea had betrayed him. Maybe he was so complacent from usually having other people around that he had had let his guard down. Maybe he just wasn’t as good as he thought he was. He tugged weakly at the restraints even though he knew it was useless. The first time he had regained consciousness, he had tugged at the restraints for hours until he had rubbed his wrists raw. He wasn’t strong enough to break the shackles, and he needed to save his strength. In case his fortunes changed and he might actually be able to get out of there.
He didn’t hope for any sort of rescue. Not anymore. He had thought maybe Aranea would have tracked him and come to his aid. He gave up on that possibility shortly after he had regained consciousness. If she had tracked him and if she had not betrayed him to the Empire, she would have gotten him out of there by now.
He didn’t think Noct and Ignis and Gladio would be coming for him either. Even if they weren’t mad at him for some reason, they didn’t know if he was still alive. They didn’t know where he was. If they ran into Aranea, she had not seen him for a while. They had more important things to worry about anyway than trying to find him. He was on his own if he was was going to get out of there. He could do this. He just needed to rest up for a little bit. And maybe a diversion would be nice.
At one point he had longed for rescue. For his friends to come through that door and free him from those restraints. He should have known something was up when Gladio had walked in alone. But Gladio had told him that the other two were busy securing their exit route and he had been stupid enough to believe every word he had said. There were so many red flags he should have paid attention to, but he was so relieved that Gladio was there, that his strong arm was there to steady him. He had wanted to be rescued, had wanted Gladio to come find him. Had wanted it so badly that he had forced himself to ignore all the warning signs. That Gladio had rarely touched him with such tenderness. That Gladio would never go easy on him when he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.
He shouldn’t have been so surprised when he was just taken to a different area of the prison, strapped into tighter restraints that dug into his writs far more than the last. Because it hadn’t been Gladio who had come to rescue him. It was just Ardyn trying to mess with him even more than he already had. He had given up on rescue after that. Gladio would not come to rescue him, He wouldn’t let Ardyn play that trick on him twice. He just needed to close his eyes for a bit. Just rest up and he would be good to go.
The next time he opened his eyes he didn’t want to believe what he saw. It couldn’t be true. It had to be another trick. There was no way they were there to rescue him. It just wasn’t possible. But Ardyn wasn’t capable of being three people at once, and all three of them were there, even if Gladio was being careful to keep his distance. Maybe because he thought he was going to break, or maybe he thought Noct had a reason for pushing him off that train. Maybe it was what he deserved and maybe his friends weren’t really there now and it was all a pain induced hallucination. It couldn’t possibly be real, but he was falling to the floor, his wrists free from the restraints.
He spent quite a bit of time after that in a blur, stumbling after the other three, still in disbelief that he was finally free. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to be locked up in a different cell.
“We should try to get some rest,” Ignis suggested after what had felt like an eternity, but really couldn’t have been that long since they were still in the same facility. “Gladio, Prompto, if you two wouldn’t mind taking first watch?”
He wasn’t sure he would be able to sleep anyway, not until they were far away from that place. Not that he could ever get rid of the memories. So he nodded his consent as Ignis and Noct made their way into the safe room and he took up a position leaning back against the wall from Gladio. Gladio didn’t seem interested in striking up a conversation, so he spent the time warily eying him up instead. He certainly looked like Gladio, and he was acting enough like Gladio. He couldn’t be took careful. Not after what had happened the last time. He didn’t know what he would say to him anyway. How could he possibly tell him about what had happened? About who he was? Gladio would never accept him if he thought he was a threat to Noct.
It was quiet in that part of the building. Not much for them to protect Ignis and Noct from. Too much time for him to think. Think about all the things that could still go wrong. Think about how they could all die without him ever getting the chance to tell Gladio how he really felt. Now didn’t seem like the right time, and he wasn’t sure there would ever be a right time, not after what he had learned.
“So, you’re one of them?” Gladio asked him hoarsely from across the hallway. He didn’t need to ask Gladio to know what he was referring to. He had still been trying to figure out how to break the news to the other two.
“How did you know?” he asked, because Gladio didn’t exactly seem surprised.
“Cor told me.”
He doubted that was going to be the end of the conversation, but Gladio didn’t say anything else to him there. Maybe he was waiting to see if any of them managed to survive what came next before he made a decision on what to do about Prompto. It didn’t seem like much time had passed at all before Ignis and Noct emerged from the room. They didn’t look like they had gotten much rest, but it was probably next to impossible given their circumstances.
“Your turn,” Noct told them. “Good to have you back, Prompto.”
“It’s good to be back,” he said before making his way into the room. He stood in the middle, staring at the rows of bunk beds. Plenty of places for him to get some rest. Maybe he should wait for Gladio to pick his spot so he could plan his distance accordingly. Or maybe he should pick first and see where Gladio went. Get a sense of how the other three felt about him.
“Prompto, you okay?” Gladio asked gruffly from behind him.
“I’m fine” he lied, trying to ignore the various aches and bruises plaguing his body. He didn’t know if he would be able to stand back up if he laid down.
“You sure about that?” Gladio asked, reaching out to lightly brush his fingers against one of the bruises on his arms.
“Nothing a good potion and some sleep won’t take care of.”
Gladio’s hands trailed back up so he could gently cup his face in both hands. Gladio tilted his head back so Prompto had to look at him, so he couldn’t run away again. He knew that face so well by now, all the times he had looked up to him, all the pictures he had studied when he thought no one else was looking. Gladio was looking at him with that tender expression he seemed to reserve only for him, the one he had never managed to capture on film. Not that Gladio had ever meant anything by it. Gladio had been looking at him like that for years. What he had once considered adoration, he now knew was nothing more than the way Gladio would look at a puppy that needed protection. Besides, with everything they had learned about who he was, where he had come from, Gladio probably wouldn’t want to see him around anymore. He probably wouldn’t want him to be around Noct any more either.
Gladio leaned down and placed a surprisingly tender kiss on the bridge of his nose, his beard prickling the still raw skin. His eyes went wide and his whole body froze, unsure how he was supposed to react to this. Gladio was supposed to push him away, tell him he couldn’t be trusted any more, not kiss the scrapes on his face.
Maybe he hadn’t been wrong. Maybe all those lingering looks, those moments he had thought meant Gladio viewed him as more than a friend. Maybe he hadn’t been fooling himself. Maybe they were all real. Maybe there was still a chance for the two of them. Gladio’s lips trailed up to kiss him on the forehead, and to bury his nose in his hair. All those times he had been too afraid to do or say anything, afraid that he was misreading the signals and would destroy their friendship which meant the world to him, and he could have been here in Gladio’s arms instead.
He wanted Gladio to move his hands, to free his face so he could return the gesture and to pull him close instead. All he could do was bring his hands up to grab the open edges of Gladio’s jacket. He didn’t trust his hands to touch Gladio’s bare skin. Once they made contact, he didn’t know if he would be able to stop, or if he would just let his fingers trail over every inch of skin he could reach. And more if Gladio would let him.
“This never would have worked out, you know,” Gladio murmured against his skin.
“We never even tried,” he countered. He managed to work his head free from Gladio’s hands although he instantly missed their warmth. Gladio didn’t move away from him or try to resist him when he pushed himself to his tiptoes to fit their mouths together. His eyes drifted closed as one of Gladio’s hands move to the back of his head. It wasn’t how he had pictured this at all. His body ached from various scrapes and bruises he hadn’t taken full inventory of, they were both a couple of days overdue for a breath mint, and Gladio’s beard was extremely scratchy against his face. But if it was the only kiss he was ever going to get, he was going to commit every detail of it to memory, especially when Gladio’s other hand shakily rested on his hip. It was perfect, and the world could have ended right there; he would not have noticed nor cared.
“Prompto,” Gladio said softly, pulling away from him to nuzzle in his hair. “We can’t do this.”
“Why not?” he asked, stepping closer to he could press his body against Gladio’s. They both wanted this. They had both waited for too long, denied themselves for no good reason as far as he could tell. They had a little bit of time before they had to continue on their quest. He tilted his head back to start placing a trail of kisses along Gladio’s jaw.
“Because Noct needs us,” Gladio said, tilting his head back so Prompto couldn’t reach him there anymore. “We can’t be together like this and still uphold our duty to Noct.”
Sure they could. It wasn’t like these feelings were anything new, and he had been doing a great job of prioritizing Noct’s life over Gladio’s. He had never been so distracted by Gladio that Noct had been in any danger. But he wasn’t the only person here. Gladio had nearly died that one night protecting him. Protecting him because he loved him and he had been too stupid to realize it at the time. He had been such an idiot, but they could fix that now. They could survive the next couple of hours and when they returned to Insomnia, they could find a way to make this work. Love still had to count for something in this world, or else what would they be fighting for.
“We could try,” he said, reaching behind Gladio’s neck to see if he could coax him down closer.
“Prompto,” Gladio warned in a tone that suggested this would be the final one. “We shouldn’t torture ourselves like this.”
“Right,” he said, taking a step back from Gladio. He didn’t know if he would be able to resist touching him if he remained that close to him, to run his fingers over that sculpted muscle, to kiss along the lines of his tattoos. “We should get some rest anyway.” There was a lot of work to be be done, and they wouldn’t be of any use to Noct if they were falling asleep on the job.
He made his way to one of the bunk beds and laid down on the bottom bunk, head on the thin pillow that would need to be tripled before it would match a normal pillow. The mattress was thin, but he was exhausted enough that he probably would have been able to sleep on the concrete floor. Gladio was still standing in the middle of the room, looking at the bunk beds like there was actually a choice to be made. The only difference between the beds was that he was occupying the one.
“Do you think you could hold me?” he asked tentatively. The familiarity of Gladio’s arms around him might be the comfort he actually needed to fall asleep. It was innocent enough, something they had done hundreds of times before even if it hadn’t been a conscious decision at the time. He figured something bigger than the two of them had known all along, even when they were too dense to figure it out themselves. Plus then Gladio could stop pretending like he didn’t know which bed to choose.
“Yeah, I guess that would be alright,” Gladio said, but he didn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to get over there. The beds were almost too narrow for one of them, but he scooted over to the edge as close as he could to make room for Gladio.
Gladio squeezed into the bed next to him, and since the bed was so small he was left with little choice but to press up against him. Which he liked well enough. If he couldn’t have Gladio, he would settle for his warmth, pressed up against the length of him and hopefully a thick bicep curled protectively around him. He hadn’t had too many opportunities to actually enjoy cuddling with Gladio before he was unceremoniously tossed onto the floor. There had been that one night in Galdin Quay. A few other times where he had woken before Gladio and would feign that he was still asleep, staying as still as he possibly could. Those were the few moments where he had felt safe and cherished. He didn’t get to feel like this very often.
Gladio’s arm snaked around his waist and tugged him closer. “Is this okay?” he asked low in his ear, the breath tickling his neck, the vibrations in his chest rumbling against his back.
“It’s fine,” he said, resisting the urge to snuggle back against him. He didn’t want to scare Gladio away, to push him further. He was going to enjoy every second of it, especially when they weren’t going to get that many. Before long, Ignis would be coming to get them and tell them it was time to move on. He curled his hand over Gladio’s and buried his nose into the pillow.
He could use the sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time had gotten any rest. Gladio would keep him safe against anything that might come after them. He was safe. He could rest. He should rest, it was just so hard when Gladio was very tense against him, like he couldn’t relax. It was hard for him to sleep when Gladio was on edge. He wanted the soft Gladio he had come to know after the past few years, not a stiff log. He tried to shift his position, hoping to pull Gladio along with him. Gladio needed rest as well, or else he wouldn’t be able to protect Noct.
He knew of one surefire way to help Gladio relax, but Gladio had already made it crystal clear that that would not be happening. Even if they both wanted it. Even if they had both wanted it for a long time. He squirmed around a little more in an effort to get comfortable and Gladio made a low noise in his throat. There was no reason for either of them to be so miserable. He shifted again and Gladio tightened his grip on his middle.
“Can’t you stay still?” Gladio growled in his ear.
“Just trying to get comfortable,” he countered. Gladio was the one who had carefully reconstructed the barriers between them, so he didn’t have much room to complain if he was uncomfortable with the situation he had put them in. Gladio’s breath was warm on the back of his neck, and he was clearly having as much of a hard time falling asleep as he was, probably for much the same reason he was.
He didn’t have to listen to Gladio. He had just as much at stake in this as Gladio did. Gladio didn’t get the final decision in how he felt. He had spent so much time afraid of ruining their friendship to ever say anything, and now that he knew Gladio felt the same way, was he just supposed to pretend like it never happened? Or was he going to do his best to seize his opportunity? If he could only have this one night, he should have as much as he wanted. They both should. If there was a good chance they might die tomorrow, there was no reason for them to deny themselves.
He turned around in Gladio’s arms and was met with little resistance when he hooked his leg around Gladio’s waist and rolled them over so Gladio was on his back pinned beneath him.
“Sorry,” he said, putting his hands on either side of Gladio’s jaw, “but I don’t want to die with this regret.” He leaned down to place a tentative kiss on Gladio’’s lips. He might still be refused. Gladio’s sense of duty might prevent him from doing anything that would leave him at anything less than one hundred percent to protect Noct in his hour of need. At least he hadn’t pushed him away entirely. He kept his eyes closed, unwilling to see the pity in Gladio’s eyes if he chose to reject him again. He pulled away slightly to bite gently on Gladio’s lower lip.
That was the spark needed for Gladio to respond, one hand coming to grip his thigh, the other pushing up the back of his shirt to splay across the small of his back. Gladio’s mouth opened under his, and he slid his hands back to tangle through Gladio’s hair. It was much softer than any of his fantasies had ever made it out to be. He tried to focus on the silken strands running between his fingers, on the press of Gladio’s lips against his and the tentative swipe of his tongue. Gladio pushed himself up underneath him and he straightened up too fast, bumping his head off the bunk above him.
“Ow,” he said reflexively, reaching behind to touch his head. It didn’t really hurt, just a slight tingle.
“You okay?” Gladio asked him, nuzzling against his forehead.
This was nothing like he had imagined at all. He had figured a plush bed or maybe in the tent if they could get rid of the other two. Not with him straddling Gladio’s lap hunched over in a cramped bunk bed.
“I’m fine,” he said before he started to chuckle at the absurdity of it all. If they just would have talked to each other sooner, they could have been a lot more comfortable. They wouldn’t have to be doing this deep in the heart of enemy territory.
“What’s so funny?” Gladio asked him with a hurt expression on his face.
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head, but the face Gladio was making only added to the absurdity of the situation and just made him laugh harder.
“You think something is funny?” Gladio growled as he wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer and sat up straighter, hitting his own head off the top bunk. “Damn it.”
“You’re fine,” he said, placing a kiss on Gladio’s forehead. Gladio growled again, and he placed more kisses on his forehead. He kissed along the scar across his forehead, then down the other scar over his eye until he completely forgot that they weren’t exactly in the best location. It didn’t matter as his lips found Gladio’s again, because Gladio was with him now, and he had every intention of keeping him there in his arms for as long as he could. He pushed Gladio’s jacket off him, running his hands over his broad shoulders and down his feathered arms. Gladio let go of him exactly long enough for the jacket to come all the way off before his hands were back on him, one slipping underneath the back of his shirt to gently stroke his skin.
“So what do you want?” Gladio asked, his voice husky with desire as he continued to nuzzle up against him.
You, was what he wanted to say as his brain really started to short circuit when Gladio moved his attention to the tender areas of his neck. It had always been Gladio that he wanted, for quite a long time, but Gladio had always seemed so unattainable, always wrapped up in his duty to Noct. He thought Gladio didn’t have time for anything else. Somehow he got the impression that Gladio already knew that, given that the attention Gladio was giving his neck made him whine in a most undignified manner. He wanted more was what he wanted, more than Gladio’s mouth on his neck or the feather light touches on his skin or the bulge he could feel through their incredibly tight pants that seemed to be getting tighter with every experimental nip of Gladio’s teeth. He placed both his hands on Gladio’s chest to brace himself.
“What do-?” He broke off into a moan as Gladio found an incredibly sensitive spot. “What do we have time for?”
“Not as much as I’d like,” Gladio said as he pulled away from him and Prompto followed him like a magnet, unwilling to lose that contact if it was the last time he was going to have Gladio like this. Gladio toyed with the hem of his shirt. “I’d love to get these clothes off of you, really take the time to make you come apart.”
Maybe next time, but he knew better than to hang his hopes on a next time. All he had was this one moment, and he needed to make the most of it. They definitely didn’t have time to be taking off all their clothes either, much as he might have liked to. For once he was glad Gladio seemed to think shirts were optional.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Big Guy,” he said before leaning in to kiss him again. He didn’t want to talk to Gladio right now, to hear sweet words he had no intention of carrying through. He just wanted to feel his body pressed up against him, his hands roaming over his skin, Gladio’s mouth finding all the sensitive spots on his body. There would never be enough time for all the things he wanted to do with Gladio, not with the Empire breathing down their necks and their imminent death looming over them. It would never be enough, no matter how close he tried to get to Gladio.
Later he rested his head on Gladio’s arm, Gladio pressed firmly against his back with the other arm pulling him close against his chest. He had no doubt that Gladio would expect them to go back to business after all this, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to go on and ignore his feelings for Gladio like he had before. He was fairly certain Gladio was fast asleep if the steady breaths on the back of his neck were any indication. He reached forward to grab Gladio’s hand dangling off the bed, staring at the barcode on the back of his wrist. He didn’t even know how Gladio could still accept him after all that.
It didn’t matter. Gladio had reasons for not being with him that had nothing to do with who he was or where he had come from and everything to do with Gladio’s duty to Noct. A duty that was never going to end, but Gladio wouldn’t be the same without it. Soon enough, either Noct or Ignis would come tell them it was time to get moving. He and Gladio would get out of that bed, and Gladio would probably try to pretend that none of it had ever happened.