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Shirokane Rinko sighed quietly, smoothing the hem of her skirt, as she sat in front of her personal computer. She swept loose black bangs from her eyes, beginning the routine of booting up Neo Fantasy Online.
Checking for updates...
Rinko knew there would be no update; she kept a close eye on the social media of the developer, and no maintenance had been announced. Allowing the MMO to take its time to open and log in, Rinko stood up, deciding to change from her middle school outfit into her casual clothes.
“There,” she smiled. “Comfortable.”
As she took her seat once again, the monitor was emitting a myriad of sounds. In-game notifications, whispers from a friend.
Rin-rin! Do you want to do a raid today?
Despite expecting this, the message brought a smile to Rinko’s face. Udagawa Ako. Guild member, friend, and underclassman at their middle school. Rinko looked forward to their nigh-daily raids.
Yes. We can voice chat.
This quickly prompted an online call from Ako. However, much to Rinko’s surprise, Ako had selected “video call.” Despite some nervousness, Rinko convinced herself to accept it, comforted by the fact that this call would be with her best friend.
“Hi, Rin-rin!” Rinko’s underclassman grinned on the other side of her own screen.
“Hello, Ako-chan,” Rinko smiled back.
“Can we try that really tough raid? I got a new skill today!”
Rinko nodded. At the very least, she found herself thankful that video calling allowed for some wordless communication.
The raid came to a start. The two found themselves with three others, both of them thankful that they seemed, at the very least, competent enough. Especially due to one of them being a healer. The raid was largely a breeze.
Then came the boss.
Keyboards, tapped in rapid succession. Coplayers silently strategizing, using abilities that complement one another. Sighs of relief after being narrowly saved by their healer. The hardest battle our heroes have faced thus far. Will they be victorious?
“Yay! We did it!” The cheers of Ako brought a smile to Rinko’s face. “Our ‘Vanishment This World’ plan worked!” A devilish grin replaced Ako’s expression as she thrust an arm outward. “The boss succumbed to the power of our flames of, um. . .”
“Darkness?” Rinko suggested.
“Darkness!”
A timer appeared at the top of the screen. It was time for players to lay claim to the raid loot. A particular item caught Ako’s eye: a legendary helm that perfectly complemented the dark summoner class. The other players noticed this, backed off, and let her have it.
“Rin-rin! I got it! I got the Hood of Umbra!”
“A-and you did well in the raid. Good job, Ako-chan.” Rinko smiled warmly.
A few hours pass, before the fun must come to an end.
“I-I have to practice the piano now. . . .” Rinko announced.
“Okay! Have fun.”
“Good night, Ako-chan.”
“I love you, Rin-rin. Good night!” Ako beamed. A brilliant, fanged smile, meant solely for Rinko.
Rinko’s breath stopped for a moment. Ako logged off before she could respond. A warmth overcame Rinko’s body, starting from her ears. The sensation of Ako’s endearment towards her friend overcame her. She smiled.
This was the first time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart skipped a beat.
“We all did well today. But we can’t grow complacent.”
The members of Roselia sat in the backstage changing room after a successful live. Their leader and vocalist, Minato Yukina, praised them, after pouring their hearts out in front of their biggest crowd yet. The other four—Imai Lisa, Hikawa Sayo, Udagawa Ako, and Shirokane Rinko, all smiled at their leader.
“Graduation may be coming soon, but that doesn’t mean our practices will be halted. We will schedule our next session at the live house soon.”
Despite her stern words, Yukina smiled at the others. She felt pride in herself and her band.
“Let’s go out and celebrate!” Lisa suggested.
The others agreed, Ako especially excited.
As they walked to the local fast food store, Ako clung to Rinko’s arm. “Rin-rin, that was amazing! Your keyboard went straight to my heart!”
Rinko blushed upon receiving such grandiose praise from her best friend. “Th-thank you, Ako-chan. You did a great job of staying in time today.”
Ako grinned.
The five of them reached their destination, deciding to eat at a booth tonight. Their table was alight with excited conversation and glowing smiles. Lisa gleefully dished out praise while the group waited for their own dishes to be ready.
“Yukina, your voice was so powerful! I doubt there’s anyone in the audience who wasn’t blown away.”
Yukina smiled. “Thank you, Lisa. Now, would you care to show us your hands?”
Lisa glanced away from Yukina. “Ahaha, I’m fine, I’m fine~. The practice was worth it.”
“Practice is good, but you need to take care of yourself, Imai-san.” Sayo gave Lisa a stern gaze, yet, one that also alludes to the gentle warmth of caring. She then turns to Ako. “You too, Udagawa-san. If you were to blister your palms, it would do more harm than good.”
Ako rubbed at her hands, smiling sheepishly. “If I were to unleash my true power, the audience would, um. . .turn to ash!” Lisa and Rinko laughed at Ako’s theatrics, while Yukina and Sayo sighed. A mutual smile betrayed their real feelings.
With their food ready, the group began to dig in.
Lisa quickly stole a fry from Sayo’s tray, playfully waving it in front of her. “These are your favorite, right~?” Lisa teased Sayo, sitting across from her.
Sayo sighed, looking past a strand of mint hair that had fallen from her bangs. “We’re almost adults, Imai-san. This teasing is silly.”
Lisa continued to wave the fry. “Ah, so you don’t want it, then?” She thrust the fry towards Sayo’s mouth, giggling. Blushing, Sayo, much to Lisa’s surprise, gracefully bites on the not-so-theoretical carrot-on-a-stick.
Swallowing, Sayo continues. “Be careful who you tease, Imai-san. Some will be up to the challenge.” Despite her bravado, she refuses to meet anyone’s eyes.
Having watched this display, Ako turns to face Rinko, her twintails bouncing. “Rin-rin, Rin-rin! That seems fun!”
“D-does it?”
Grabbing a fry of her own, Ako holds it out. “Say ‘ah!’”
“A-ah!” Rinko exclaimed, surprised.
This was the second time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart skipped a beat.
Rinko found herself in, perhaps, one of the strangest spots in her life.
Roselia’s music and popularity were as strong as ever. She had graduated from high school and found herself a temporary position at the development studio of Neo Fantasy Online as a bug tester. Surrounded by people she can truly call friends, being a part of both an up-and-coming band with local fame, and the studio that has long produced her favorite MMORPG.
This begs the question: what cause has she to feel sad?
She knew the answer to this question. She was stalling. The band, the temporary position—she wouldn’t give these up for the world.
But she had no idea what to do about her future.
Summer was shortly coming to an end, and the other three graduates of Roselia seemed fairly confident in their own paths. But Rinko was uncertain.
Should I attend college? Or try to work for Neo Fantasy Online full-time? I could be a theatre pianist, but that might harm Roselia. . . .
These were the worries she finds herself to be plagued with when considering the future. Yet, underneath all of these worries, there is one pressing issue. One she has been ignoring for far too long.
One that develops her entire being with fear.
“Rinko.”
Yukina’s voice broke through Rinko’s haze. She now realizes that the others had stopped playing their instruments some time ago.
“Ah. S-sorry.”
Sayo and Yukina traded a worried glance. The vocalist continued. “It’s not like you to make mistakes, Rinko. Do you need a break?”
She shook her head furiously. “N-no, I’m okay. I was just distracted,” Rinko stammered.
“Shirokane-san.” Sayo lifted her M-II guitar over her head, placing it gently on its case. “We’re taking a break. We’ve been at it for hours, as is.” Yukina and Lisa nodded in agreement.
Rinko turned to see Ako, sitting behind her drum kit, staring at her friend, concern plain on her face.
“Rin-rin. . . .”
This was the first time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart ached.
“Hi, Rinko!”
Lisa greeted Rinko over the phone. A call from her is rare, but she’s glad to know that her shy friend is comfortable speaking with her, after all of their practice. “What’s up?”
“Imai-san. C-can we meet at Hazawa Café?”
Silence. Rinko could hear rustling and muttered conversation on the other end of the phone. “I-Imai-san?”
“Yes, yes, it’s fine!” Lisa quickly responded. “Is it okay if Sayo joins us?”
“S-sure.” Rinko began to shake from nerves, but she knew she could trust Sayo.
“Okay, we’ll meet you there~.”
Click.
Rinko sighed quietly, smoothing the hem of her skirt, as she took a seat at a table of the café. She ordered ahead of time, having a sneaking suspicion that her two friends may be a few minutes late.
Soon enough, the other two arrived. Sayo’s face was flushed with heat.
“Sorry for the wait!” Lisa apologized. “We rushed over here, but it seems Sayo doesn’t deal with the summer heat very well~.” she teased. Sayo glared at her, waiting for her body to adjust to the cool temperature of the café.
“Imai-san insisted on rushing, due to how uncommon it is for you to ask a favor of us,” Sayo added. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
“N-no,” Rinko shook her head. “M-maybe you can help, too.”
The drinks arrived. Lisa thanked their server, who happened to be a certain member of Afterglow, a band that Roselia has a friendly rivalry with.
“So, you need help with something?” Lisa asked.
Rinko nodded slowly. She looked down at her hands. Long, slender fingers, intertwined with one another. “Pianist’s hands” is a phrase Rinko is used to hearing. The hands of someone who can type on a computer keyboard at blinding speeds, yet tenderly press the keys of a piano as if they were no more sturdy than a baby bird. The hands of someone who has trouble speaking up. The best tools that she has to communicate her true feelings.
But she can’t always rely on touch.
“I’m. . .” she stopped. “I’m scared.”
Lisa exchanged a worried glance with Sayo. She reached out, putting a hand over Rinko’s. “It’s okay to be scared, Rinko. We’re here to help.” Sayo nodded.
“I j-just don’t know what I should do. The three of you have college figured out, but. . . .”
“Ah, is that what you’re worried about?”
“Well, Shirokane-san, do you have any ideas of what you would like to do?”
Rinko stammers. “I-I enjoy my job as a bug tester, but I don’t think I want to work on games. . . .”
Lisa nods. “That’s good! It’s something to strike off the list.” She lifts her cup, sipping cautiously, in case the mocha is still scalding. Rinko notices the scars and chipping nail polish on her fingers. Soft skin, marred by passion.
“Do you. . .like to play the bass, Imai-san?”
Lisa looks up at her. “Of course! I can’t say I practice as hard as Sayo here~,” she nudges the girl sitting next to her, “But I love playing the bass. Especially when it means I can be with all of you.” She smiles warmly at Rinko.
Sayo nods, a little embarrassed. “The guitar is my passion. And I won’t allow myself to be surpassed.” She looks Rinko in the eyes. “I enjoy it.”
Rinko nods, looking back down once again. “I-I love playing the piano, too, but. . . .”
Lisa looks at Rinko, noticing how she glares at her own fingers. “Ah. Is that what you want, Rinko?”
“W-what if it gets in the way of Roselia?”
“Is piano your passion?” Sayo asks. Her gaze seems cold, but it is accompanied by a slight, cool, confident smile.
“Y-yes.”
“We’re your friends, right?” Lisa asks.
“Y-yes!”
“If it’s what you want to do, then you can play the piano outside of Roselia, and still play the keyboard with us. We can even try to work with your schedule, okay? Yukina will understand~.”
Rinko nods, a smile returning to her worried face. “I-I think I have a better idea now. . . .”
The other two smile warmly.
Sipping from her tea, Rinko examines her fingers one last time. “I’m going to think about this. Th-thank you, Imai-san, Hikawa-san.”
“Of course~!” Lisa winked. “We’re here for you, okay?”
Rinko nodded, a semblance of calm returning to her.
So why do I still feel this way?
This was the second time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart ached.
Udagawa Ako wasn’t used to being so out of touch with her own feelings. Quite the opposite—Ako knows all too well how emotional she can be. It always worked to her advantage before, such as when she joined Roselia; after showing such perseverance and dedication, Yukina herself was surprised.
Well, perhaps out of touch isn’t the right phrase.
Ako sighs absentmindedly, slouching in her chair.
“Whoa, that was a pretty hefty huff there.” Tomoe, Ako’s older sister, spoke from behind Ako. “Is everything okay, kiddo?”
Ako pouts. “I’m not a kiddo. We’re not even that far apart!”
Tomoe chuckles. “You’ll always be my little sister.” She approaches Ako from behind and places a tender hand on her head. “So, what’s up?”
Ako’s face instinctively scrunches. “Rin-rin. . . .”
“Rinko? Is everything okay?”
Ako shakes her head. “Rin-rin hasn’t been feeling well. She falls behind during practice, and won’t look anyone in the eyes. Even. . . .” she trails off.
Tomoe purses her lips in thought. “Have you asked her what’s wrong?”
Ako nods. “She says she’s fine.”
“Ako.”
“Yes?” She looks up at her sister, her purple twintails bouncing lightly.
“Do you remember when Ran and I were fighting?”
Ako blinks in surprise, then nods. “Afterglow almost broke up.”
Tomoe nods back. “But we all had some time apart to cool down, then talked about it.” A reminiscent smile plays at her lips. “Ran was scared, but passionate. She would give anything to keep the band together, and in the end, we proved to her dad just how serious we were.”
Ako nods, leaning forward in her seat, hands in her lap. “I remember. You were really angry with Ran.”
“Yeah. She was being a bit of a dummy, but so was I. Moca, too. Without Himari or Tsugumi, we might have really split up.”
Ako grins. “Aren’t you glad you met Hii-chan~?”
Tomoe rubs at her neck, blushing. “Anyway, brat, my point is: Rinko might just need some time.”
Ako nods, deflated. “Okay. Thanks, sis.”
Tomoe smiles warmly and ruffles Ako’s hair. “Everything will work out, kiddo.”
Lisa looked to Yukina. They both turned to Rinko.
“Rinko. . . .”
Rinko looked up from her keyboard, surprised. “Y-yes?”
“You’re crying.”
Rinko reached up and wiped at her eyes. Sure enough, there were some tears. “I didn’t. . . .”
“Practice is over for the day.” Yukina’s voice was stern, yet caring. She turns to Ako, who is silent with shock. “Ako. Can you please get a drink for Rinko?”
The drummer nods, lips pursed, quivering. She quickly exits the studio.
Yukina sighs, then turns to Roselia’s bassist. “Lisa, this subject is your expertise.”
Lisa nods. She walks over to Rinko, and gently takes her hand in her own. “Rinko.”
Rinko nods slowly.
She noticed. Imai-san knows what I’m too afraid to say. Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it.
Through tearful eyes, Rinko looks to Lisa, then Sayo, then Yukina. Each of them wears a face plastered with concern for their friend. The silent tears continue. She swallows.
“It’s Ako, isn’t it?”
A sob escapes Rinko’s lips.
Lisa looks to Sayo. “If Ako comes back too soon, can you stall her?” Sayo nods silently, and heads for the door. “It’s just us three, Rinko. Sayo will keep Ako busy.”
Rinko nods thankfully.
Yukina approaches the two of them, placing a gentle hand on Rinko’s shoulder. “Rinko. How do you feel towards Ako?”
Another sob. “She’s. . .my b-best friend. My only friend. . .until Roselia.”
Lisa gazes into Rinko’s eyes, smiling. “Exactly. We’re your friends, Rinko. You can tell us the truth.”
“M-maybe more. . . .”
Lisa nods. “What do you like about Ako?”
“S-she was my first close friend. She’s always energetic and k-kind. She never. . .made me feel bad for my interests.” Sob. “She encouraged me, b-but never pushed me out of my comfort.” Sob. “She cares about everyone. She’s a dork.” A smile breaks through the sobs. “Th-the way she tries to keep everyone happy.” She turns to Yukina. “W-when she tried to act like Imai-san to make you happy, and you were embarrassed.” A laugh mixes with the sob, as Rinko sees Yukina blush. “How she doesn’t mind being a b-better leader than me, even though I’m older. How she always makes sure I’m comfortable. H-how well we communicate, even without words.” Another smiling sob. “The way her twintails bounce when she’s excited. The way she bounces when she’s excited. She gets s-so excited on the drums, but she tries her best to stay with the rest of us. She’s just as cool as she tries to be, e-even though I know she thinks she could do better.” Sob. Sob. “H-her obliviousness to my feelings.”
Rinko falls to her knees. Lisa grips her hand, tight but warm with care. Yukina steps back in surprise.
“I-I love her. I love Ako-chan.”
Lisa smiles down at Rinko. “I know.”
Rinko looks up. “W-what do I. . .do?”
Yukina speaks up first. “It’s foolish not to chase your dreams with passion. I know that may be difficult for you, but you’ve made it this far.” Yukina smiles.
Lisa nods in agreement. “Ako deserves to hear it, and you deserve to be open and honest. Besides, you two are already so close~,” she winks. “You would be adorable together.”
“W-what if she says no?”
“If that happens, we’ll be here for you.” Lisa smiles.
“It wouldn’t be the end. We could take a hiatus, as well, to help you heal.”
“Th-thank you.” With Lisa’s help, Rinko stands, wiping at her tears.
The studio door opens, Ako rushing into the room. Sayo is right behind her.
“Udgawa-sa—”
“Rin-rin!”
Ako rushes forward, past Lisa, and hands Rinko a bottle of water. She looks to the other two. “Are you okay?” Her own eyes are wet with worry.
Rinko nods, wipes at her eyes once more, and drinks from the bottle. “Thank you, Ako-chan.” She smiles.
Ako sighs with relief. She steps forward, gently embracing Rinko.
“Rin-rin, I’m always here for you.”
This was the first time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart raced.
Rinko looked up at the sky. Her skin met with a soft snowfall.
Winter already. . . .
It had been a few months since she broke down in front of her bandmates. With advice from Lisa, courage from Yukina and Sayo, and Tomoe’s approval (who was clearly expecting this development), Rinko had finally made up her mind.
No more stalling.
Rinko’s phone beeps, catching her attention.
Sorry! The train was running late. >_< I’ll be there soon!
A ghost of a smile lingers upon Rinko’s lips. A hesitant smile. She’s promised herself not to get too excited or nervous.
But she can’t help it.
Rinko looks up from the bench, hearing the bustle of the crowd exiting the metro. It’s easy to spot a set of—
Oh?
Not a set. Rinko immediately notices something strange about Ako, which is that she’s not wearing her signature twintails. Snowflakes fall, caught between strands of purple hair. Rinko can’t help but admire the scene as Ako hurries over.
“Ah, Ako-chan. Hello.” Rinko forces herself to offer a small smile.
“Hi, Rin-rin!” Ako grins. “It’s been a while since just the two of us met up!”
Rinko nods. “C-college is demanding. . .I’m sorry.” She glances away from Ako’s eyes.
The younger girl shakes her head fervently, her hair flying every which-way. “It’s okay!” She puts a finger to her chin. “It was kind of surprising, you asking to meet so suddenly.” Ako brings a hand to her eye, striking a particularly chuuni pose. “Are we going to perform our dark ritual to summon, um. . .Bael?”
Rinko giggles, then shakes her head. “T-there’s a place I want to show you.”
Ako grabs Rinko’s hand, standing close to her. “Lead the way!”
Rinko smiles and begins walking.
Along the way, Ako offers idle chit-chat. She excitedly talks about beating her older sister in a fighting game the day before. Something about a “super-cool apocalyptic combo breaker.” Rinko is, for once, thankful that she doesn’t talk much. She allows Ako to lead the conversation while she thinks to herself.
Looking down at the girl holding her hand, Rinko takes note of Ako’s outfit. A white shirt underneath a black, fur-lined hoodie. A red choker adorns her slender neck, and she wears leggings underneath a black, slightly frilly skirt.
Looking at the choker around her neck, Rinko finds herself distracted.
“Rin-rin?”
Rinko immediately blushes, looking away. “Ah, y-yes?”
Ako tilts her head. “Is there something on my face?”
Rinko shakes her head hastily, making herself a bit dizzy. “N-no. Sorry.”
Ako looks up at Rinko, taking her own note of her friend’s apparel. A black-and-white dress with a frilled skirt, with a white scarf wrapped around her neck, snowflakes perfectly blending with it. Ako smiles. “Are we almost there?”
“A-actually. . . .” Rinko stops. “This is the place.”
The two found themselves in a clearing in the middle of a park. Some of the trees surrounding them were still shedding their final leaves for the winter, their branches and bark coated with fresh snow. Rinko led Ako to a bench overlooking the park’s frozen river. A flower bed filled with white viburnum, speckled purple with Glory of the Snow flowers, sat behind the bench.
“This is where you wanted to take me?”
Rinko nods. “Mm. D-do you mind if we just sit and watch?”
Ako shakes her head. “Of course!”
Rinko smiles, and the two slip into a comfortable silence.
This is nice. . . .
Rinko looks over to Ako, who is happily watching the snow fall upon the icy river alongside her.
Ako-chan, I wonder. . .
She closes her eyes and inhales.
Would you allow me. . .
Exhale.
To be selfish?
She opens her eyes.
“Ako-chan. . . .”
She folds a hand over Ako’s, resting on the bench.
“Rin-rin?”
Rinko squeezes her eyes shut, trying to keep her breath under control. Opening them, still holding Ako’s hand, she stands up, leading her friend closer to the river. They stop at the edge of the land overlooking the river. Rinko turns to Ako. Vibrant red eyes peer back at her.
Oh, no.
Rinko can feel the tears forming. She tries desperately to blink them away.
“Ako-chan. . . .”
A knot forms, both in her throat and chest.
“I love you.”
Ako smiles. “I love you too, Rin-rin.”
Rinko shakes her head. “No, Ako-chan. I love you.”
The urge to turn tail and run was the strongest it has ever been in Shirokane Rinko’s life. She dug her heels into the snow-covered ground, Ako’s warm, small hands in her own, keeping her rooted in place.
Ako gazes into Rinko’s eyes. Slanted eyes, with violet irises. Cool, yet always emotional. Ako knows that she’s the only person who Rinko can look in the eyes. Even now, she’s maintaining eye contact, even though she looks the most fragile Ako has ever seen her. Wet and eyes and a quivering frame, hiding a heart underneath that could shatter at any minute.
“Rin-rin. . . .”
Rinko looks down.
“I love you too.”
A tear falls with the snow.
Eh?
Rinko’s head snaps back up. She’s met with a warm peck on the cheek and a blushing Ako.
“Ako. . .chan?”
“I love you, Rin-rin! You’re special to me!”
“A-Ako-chan!” Rinko blushes, pulling Ako into a hug.
The two held one another as the snow fell faster. Rinko’s hair draped Ako’s, making a mosaic of purple and black. Time froze with the river, the two untouched by the cold outside of their brilliant embrace. Even the winter flowers retreated, allowing the two to bask in the glory of the snow.
“Ako-chan. . .I love you. I love you.” Rinko smiled as she spoke the words she had been holding onto for so long. She could speak them unashamed, unbroken. Her hand strokes the back of Ako’s head. “I love you.”
This was the second time that Shirokane Rinko’s heart raced.
“Mm.”
Rinko turned over in a haze of sleepiness, morning light shining through the blinds. She reaches out, finding warmth in her partner. She gently tugs the purple puffball known as Ako towards her, who sleepily complies, snuggling into Rinko’s chest. Rinko kisses the messy tuft of purple hair.
“Rin-rin. . .can we stay here a little longer?”
Rinko giggles. “Just a little, Ako-chan. We have a live show today.”
Ako cuddles Rinko even closer. She stretches upward, greeting Rinko with a morning kiss. She smiles as their soft lips meet, stroking hair out of Ako’s face.
Grumble.
The two look down at Ako’s stomach, who grins sheepishly. “Never mind, I want breakfast!” They both laugh, getting out of bed and starting their day.
“D-do you have everything?”
Rinko looks in the mirror, making sure her dress is neat, her hair and make-up fixed appropriately.
“Almost!” Ako calls from the closet. She grabs her drumsticks, putting them in her bag. Looking over her shoulder, she turns back towards the closet, hunched over a palm-sized box. She opens it.
A brilliant diamond ring shines back at her.
Ako smiles to herself.
Tonight’s the night.
“Ako-chan, Imai-san i-is waiting for us.”
“Coming!” Ako bounces, the two of them exiting their apartment, hand-in-hand.
This was the first time that Udagawa Ako’s heart raced.