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Weasel had told him that his client wanted to stay anonymous, which wasn’t very unusual in their business. He got the mission to take care of an unknown monster in Scottland that was going on a rampage near Loch Ness. It was a popular tourist destination, mostly because of their famous cryptide Nessie. Wade had done a bit of research and found out that the owner of a big hotel chain had announced his intentions of putting up another building in the highlands. It seemed to fit the bill considering that the series of disappearing people started briefly afterwards. The hunter assumed that some sort of nature spirit was the culprit. They didn’t like humans invading their territory or even worse destroying it for a new tourist resort. So far they’d gotten rid of five construction workers and two hikers. They probably wouldn’t be the last victims and the hotelier couldn’t afford such an amount of bad press before his hotel even opened. That’s where Deadpool the monster hunter extraordinare made an appearance.
The long flight was unpleasant like usual, which was the main reason Wade didn’t like taking many jobs abroad. This one would pay really well tho so he popped a handful of travel sickness pills and called it a night. The effect lasted for only a few hours and he spent the rest of the flight watching cartoons. Or at least tried to. Nothing more distracting than the lady in front of you wrapping a strand of her hair around her finger over and over again. Wade had to supress the urge to reach out and rip it out. That’s what he got for cheap and not travelling first class in his own cubicle of isolation.
Once he arrived at his target’s location he’s blessed by the tranquility of the highlands, the sight of lush, green treelines and a river you could actually drink out of without getting diarrhea. If it weren’t for the evil spirit lurking around he’s supposed to wipe out this would be real vacation material. Not having a concret spot to observe Wade decided to simply walk along the river, down on one side and up again on the other while keeping a close look on his surroundings. The first day nothinh happened, aside from a squirell dropping a nut on his head when he’s taking a break, sitting against a hazel.
[That’s a declaration of war]
Shoot it! We haven’t shot anything for DAYS!
„Give me a break, we can get trigger happy once we find the thing that can’t be named yet.“ Of fucking course the voicec refused to shut up and continued their nagging but Wade was used to it. He didn’t give in to their suggestions. One of them being to use a bunch of tourists as living bait. Wade himself should be sufficient.
On his second day in the wilderness Wade decided to provoke the water spirit into showing itself. He wasn’t too proud of his method but was rather sure that it’d work out if the spirit was nearby. Fetching the empty ravioli can he’d had for dinner the other night Wade dumped it into the river together with a plastic water bottle he’d just finished. He knew for a fact that nature spirits hated nothing more than littering. It’d drive even the most peacful dryards and nymphs mad.
Not just wanting to stand around and wait for something to happen the hunter followed the course of the river towards the valley. The sun was going down when he set up his speelping place for the night. He’d just returned from the forest with an armful of firewood when he caught sight of a shilouette near the river that hadn’t been there before he left. Carelessly dropping the bunch of branches he’d collected Wade’s hand found the handle of the gun strapped to his thigh. Upon getting closer to the shape with only the pale moonlight illuminating the ground Wade needed a few more seconds to asess the situation. There’s a person or at least human looking body resting on top of the river’s bank. As soon as the other noticed his presence they started to struggle.
„Help! Please help me! That beast tried to drown me.“, the scrawny teen called out desperately, fingers clawing at the slippery, muddy ground his upper half was laying on while his lower body was still in the river.
„It’s gonna come back, please help me!“, Wade was urged on by their sobbing pleas when moving towards the teen, careful not to skid and fall into the river himself.
„What happened, who attacked you?“, he wanted to know, kneeling in front of the what he assumed was a young man, who might have never gotten a haircut in his life. Gripping his upper arms the hunter tried to drag him out of the water. He was surprised when the other’s slim fingers suddenly wrapped halfway around his biceps like a vice. Those tear filled, hazel eyes he’d looked at before had turned a milky white and didn’t stare at him with fright anymore but deviousness. A cat that had gotten the cream filled canary. Wade had to admit he definitely preferred to be the hunter and the one wearing a similar expression once he cornered his prey instead of being on the receiving end.
„Get in…“, the brunet ordered him. The fact that Wade’s brain didn’t short-circuit by the sound of his voice meant that he wasn’t a siren. It’d be uncommon for them living so far away from the ocean anyway.
„Well I’d love some skinny dipping in the moonlight but the timing is kinda bad. Rain check?“, Wade returned jokingly, heels digging into the ground but he could feel himself lose his footing. For looking like a scrawny twig the brat sure had some strength going for him. Wade fell forward into the water with a loud splash. The hands on his arms drew back and he immediately used them to break through the surface, taking a gulp of air. He’d hoped to carry out the fight on land becaus he’d have an obvious disadvantage in the water. His opponent had apparently thought the same, curse his helping the damsel in distress instinct overriding his bad gut feeling.
The current pushed him forward into the deep end of the river while his soaked cloths pulled him down like lead. He’d lost sight of the spirit but was feeling pretty certain that it was very close, probably enjoying to play with its food. Well, Wade wasn’t an easy snack and he came prepared. Swimming back towards the shallow waters he managed to stand on the sandy ground. He could sense something curling around his legs like algae and reflexively tried to avoid it but whatever it was clutched onto his limbs.
„You’re going to pay for soiling my river.“, he heard the voice from before talk to him. Enraging the spirit had defeinitely worked out but it wasn’t the right time to celebrate his success.
„Sorry pal, I had to get your attention and you’re playing hard to get.“
„You got it now.“, the spirit assured him and let his head breach the surface of the water so they’re face to face again. Even with the ongoing lack of light Wade noticed the way the spirits appearance had changed. It no longer resembled a human but had taken on the shape of a horse instead. Not the skittish, vegetrian kind but one with creepily glowing eyes and rows of sharp teeth for devouring flesh. What had wrapped around his legs weren’t some water plants but the kelpie’s mane.
Back in the old days kelpies were known to appear as horses that lured exhausted wanderers and stray children to climb on their back where they got stuck. Then the kelpie would walk them into the next available body of water and drown them. Nowadays no one would attempt to mount barebacked horse in the woods so the kelpie had to adapt. Hardly anyone would refuse to help a teenager in danger, it was a simple but effective trap.
Wade didn’t try to reach for one of his weapons, knowing very well that silver bullets and knives were lost on a water spirit. What he needed was in one of his many pockets and unholy shit why did those cargo pants had so many of them? Rosary? Nope, not what he’s looking for. This was what a magican with performance issues must felt like.
„Just a sec-“, Wade tried to stall. The kelpie was quickly running out of patience, not caring about whatever the human was searching and decided it was time for a late night snack. Using his mane that was securely wrapped around the man’s legs he pulled him underwater and this time without intention to let him up again. The hunter pulled out a knife to cut through the mane and kicked out towards the kelpies face when it came closer. The spirit easily avoided the combat boots and sunk his teeth into the man’s calve, ripping out a junk of flesh covered in a layer of fabric.
Wade had to grind his teeth together at the stining pain racing up his leg. He had to keep the bit of oxygen he’d in lungs for as long as possible. Still fumbling with his pants pockets he’d finally found the right one, fingers clutching around the piece of fabric inside. This was his only chance, considering that his second option was currently stored away in his backpack by the riverside. His vision hadn’t been great before but underwater it was basically non-existent. The only way to tell where the kelpie was were the two glowing orbs that were his eyes. Wade had no choice but to let the spirit close enough to strike again and hope he wouldn’t go straight for his head.
The kelpie bit into his upper arm and locked his jaw. At this point it would be a matter of seconds until the human was out of air and would reflexifely inhale the water surrounding them.
Wade knew he’s running out of time. His lungs were burning, his chest felt constricted and there were black and white dots dancing through his field of vision like ghost lights. Channeling his all of his remainin energy reserves he wrapped his legs around the kelpies neck and holding it close. His action seemed to confuse the spirit who’d let go of the man and threw back his head in an attempt to shake Wade off. When the kelpie realized it didn’t work he smashed his head against human’s chest instead driving a stream of bubbles out of his mouth.
Wade could feel the water flooding his lungs and the muscles in his throat trying to protect him by cramping painfully. His vision had gone completely blurry and he wasn’t sure if he’s still clinging to the kelpies neck or floating through the water. His brain was shutting down as were his organs.
The hold of the hunter’s legs around the kelpie loosened and he was about to feast on his drowned prey when a thin veil looped itself around the spirits head. He couldn’t simply shake it off and the moment it covered his face the kelpie felt his will fade. His urge to kill the hunter had vanished and instead he watched the motionless body sink towards the bottom of the river. The current dragged the man forward but before he could get washed away the kelpie swam after him. Catching the limp body by the collar of his jacket the spirit hauled the man out of the water where he let him slump to the ground. The kelpie couldn’t make out any signs of life while he stared blanky at the crumpled form in front of him. A very small and long forgotten part of him felt guilty for what he’d done but the bigger part was irritated by the fact that the man had somehow managed to get a veil on him, one of the few items that had an effect on his kind. He couldn’t take it off even if he’d change back into his human body. It was ridiculous how apathic a piece of fabric could make him feel.
After serveral minutes of silence the man suddenly started convulsing, turning to the side and throwing up. Panting heavily when all the water and some food was out of his stomach and lungs Wade rolled onto his back gazing into the nightsky until his sight stopped being all blurry and his heart rate returned to normal.
„Phew, that was a wild ride!“, the hunter declared, his voice scratchy as if he’d smoked a whole pack of cigaretts in one go. Taking a look at his arm Wade was glad to see that his curse was already doing its thing, stitching his ripped muscles and tissues back together. His leg was still a bloody mess but would regrow as well. It made moving towards his backpack a lot more difficult tho and he ended up doing more hobbling than actual walking. The kelpie wasn’t any help just standing around in trance. Honestly Wade was relieved the veil had worked and that he had taken it with him despite the slim chance of having to battle a kelpie. Retrieving the harness out of his backpack Wade shuffled to the horse and strapped it on before removing the wet veil.
„Turn into your human form.“, he decided to test the influence of the black leather straps on the kelpie and couldn’t help the pleased smile that formed on his lips when the spirit obeyed.
„What…what are you?“, the kelpie wanted to know, confused and also kinda frustrated that he hadn’t been able to drown the strange man. He could tell that he wasn’t a water spirit unlike himself endowed with the ability to breath underwater. Something was wrong and for the first time he might be the one losing his life. The harness still hung heavy around his neck while the soaked veil was plastered the ground.
„I’m the guy that took a dip into the Pool of Death. Nothing can kill me.“
„Just my luck.“, the kelpie murmured bitterly. „Are you going to kill me?“, he wanted to know, eyeing the various weapons the hunter carried with him.
"I'm getting paid to get rid of you."
"I see." The kelpie wasn’t going to put up a fight anymore but accepted his faith. The harness prevented him from acting out anyway and he’d rather want for his death to be quick and painless.
[Can't we keep him?? We always wanted a pony]
Pretty sure we wanted a puppy
[You can't ride a dog at least not this fatass]
„Excuse you, I am 100% muscles and glory!“
[Explains the lacking brain tissue]
Wade still pondered about what he's gonna do, maybe he should flip a coin or consult the magical pool ball. Killing was easy, had become in fact too easy over the years. That didn't mean he had no mercy left. The kelpie wasn't all naturally evil. He hadnt roamed the area in order to find his victims. He'd merely protected his river and got himself some stray human snacks. People were killed by bears and sharks every year but you wouldn't call those animals monsters. They followed their instincts, protected their territory, babies or looking for something to eat. If he made sure this kelpie wasn't going to run wild than there shouldn't be a reason to kill the creature. After all there weren't too many left of them. In fact this could be some sort of last unicorn situation.
"I'll make you an offer, Nightfury."
"My name's Peter."
"Alright Petey, ever been abroad?"
"No...I love my river, there’s no reason to leave." The kelpie had lived in the highlands for as long as he could remember and had never felt the urge to explore the country.
The hunter wondered if he remembered his past life if his name was actually the same he had when he’s still human. Kelpies weren’t born naturally since females didn’t exist. They also couldn’t be created by magic. For a kelpie to be born a pure soul had to be sacrified and absorbed by the water. The soul went through a transformation and a kelpie would rise from the depths. What’s left was an evil spirit, hungry for human flesh. It was rather cruel punishing someone innocent by turning them into a cannibal when they’d already suffered from a violent death.
"Yeah, sure but did you never ask yourself what's around the riverbend?"
"I know that it leads to a great pond. Loch Nis.", the kelpie returned dryly, obviously not getting the Pocahontas reference. Wade made a mental note to make him watch his Top 5 favorite Disney movies in case Peter would agree to his offer.
"There are a lot more and greater ponds where I'm coming from."
"Where to you come from?"
"I'm a true Canadian with maple syrup flowing through my veins.", the hunter stated proudly, slightly puffing up, which didn’t work out as great as usual considering that he’s still having the appearance of a wet sock.
"I've never heard of it.", Peter replied and leveled Wade with a rather unimpressed look.
„You should give it a shot.“
„What choice do I have?“
//
Wade owned Peter or rather his bridle in theory but practically he let the kelpie run free. Peter just didn’t like to do so in a country he’s never been to before. New York was a real cultural clash in the beginning, still is compared to his quiet place in the highlands. There were so many people milling the streets, like hoards of ants with the difference that everything was a lot more anonymous. It made it easier for the kelpie to become part of the faceless crowd and slowly adapt to his new environment.
He still didn’t dare to leave the flat without Wade and since the hunter didn’t mind taking him along Peter mostly chose to follow him around. As it turned out Wade wasn’t just hunting supernatural beasts but monster in human skin as well. There seemed to be so many of them and whenever one was caught another two would follow. That’s why Wade had stopped sending them to prison and ‚unalived’ them –how he’s calling it- instead. Something that sounded like a logical reason to the kelpie but apparently wasn’t the legal course of action. It explained the reason the hunter maintained a low profile, prefering to go out by night and leave as less traces as possible.
That’s where Peter came in handy. He didn’t mind taking care of whatever remains were left after Wade was done with his targets. Although he was grateful when the hunter used his beloved katanas instead of his firearms. Biting on a bullet felt unpleasant and they weren’t very tasty either. Bones however weren’t a problem, the marrow inside was his favorite.
„You’re the best supernatural garbage disposal a hunter could wish for!“, Wade praised him with a pat on his back. The man was apparently immune to the resounding, crunching noises that filled the small living room they’re currently standing in. Unfortunately he’d momentarily fogotten about the kelpies sticky rear and ended up with his hand glued against the horse’s spine. He refrained from trying to pull away and losing a few layers of skin in the process, patiently waiting for Peter to finish his meal, so he could turn back into his human looking, non-sticky self.
The tenant of these quarters had been a sexual offender, who’d killed at least ten homeless woman before he got onto Wade’s priority hitlist. Peter had seen pictures of the victims. Wade had wasted his bullets and should’ve just let the kelpie eat up the man alive. Strangely enough the hunter insisted that he had to be one having to end them. It’s always like this. Peter stayed in the background until the fight was over and it was time to clean up without actively participating.
//
The first time the kelpie got involved was when they’d chased a wendigo in Minnesota. Wade didn’t even want him to tag along this time but Peter was persistent. If the monster was as bad as Wade was making it out to be he’d need someone to have his back.
By night wendigos were the perfect hunters. They’re fast, agile and deadly. Despite his fairly good hearing and instincts Peter didn’t sense the danger until it was almost too late. The big shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere, jumping out from behind a broad trunk. The kelpie had reflexively leaped forward, avoiding the outstretched claws by merely an inch. His sprint came to an abrupt stop when the wendigo turned and cut off his way, making the water spirit rear up. The wendigo was smart enough to avoid the hooves aimed at its deformed face, finally retreating if only by a few steps. Long enough for Wade to gather his bearings an start firing his silver bullets. Only one of them grazed the wendigo, agitating it further.
The fight ended with Peter having to burn the remains of the wendigo since Wade was missing both of his arms. That didn’t stop him from stomping on the ashes for good measure. Peter helped him getting back to their truck and settle into the driver’s seat. He supposed they’re about to wait until Wade arms had grown back but the hunter inisted that Peter should take the steering wheel.
„I can’t drive.“, the brunet pointed out the obvious.
„You don’t have to. Just make sure we’re staying on the road and leave the rest to me.“
„This is a bad idea and not even your first tonight.“, Peter claimed, nervously combing his fingers through his shortened hair.
„But you’re my lucky charm, so it’s gonna work out just fine, babycakes.“
Uttering a resigned snort Peter grabbed the steering wheel and tried to avoid every obstacle that came their way. It was nerve-wracking and he’s looking forward to be back in their flat an take a extra long bubble bath. The water in New York was filthy, infused with all sorts of chemicals but it was better than drying out.
„Hey Petey, how about a little trip next weekend? Promised to show you some ponds and you really earned it after not bailing on me.“
„Yeah, you owe me big time, Wilson. That wendigo bit me in the ass!“
„Believe me no one is more upset about that than I am.“
„You’re a weirdo.“
„Well this weirdo is gonna take you to the Acadia National Park, so deal with it.“
//
Wade hadn’t exeggerated which might be a first for the time Peter knew the man. The Acadia National Park was gigantic and contained a variety of different landscaped, from thick forests over forbidding coast lines and glacier shaped mountain peaks. There’s no way they could explore the area in just two days but Peter was willing to walk around for as long as possible. The kelpie could smell the Jordan Pond long before it came into view. Wade could pracitcally feel the spirit vibrate with excitement.
„This place is beautiful…“, the young man whispered in awe, sounding a bit like a broken record by how often he’d repeated the statement but Wade didn’t mind, simply smiling along. He enjoyed their little timeout, being able to lower his guard and not think of the next hunt for a while. It also helped not being all by himself like he used to before he met Peter. The voices had become more quiet, yet always present.
As soon as the pond came in sight there no more holding Peter back. The brunet started running down the rocky path, changing into his natural form while in motion and galopped down the rest of the way. Without slowing down the kelpie pushed off the shore and jumped right into the water where he immediately started to swim around and neighing happily. The water was cold and crystal clear just like his river in Scottland.
„Wade, what are you waiting for? Get inside!“, the spirit prompted excitedly, throwing his head back and continued to splash around.
„The last time we went swimming together you tried to drown me.“
„I didn’t try, I did it but you cheated like the immortal jerk you are. Don’t be resentful, I promise I won’t do it again!“
„Alright, alright gimme a second.“, Wade was quick to comply because he believed the kelpie and had never hold a grudge against him to begin with.