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Eddie had no reason to avoid the conversation; it simply hadn’t come up until tonight. At least, that was what he told himself.
He was lying in bed in only sweatpants, getting some reading done before going to sleep. Venom had taken advantage of the absence of a laptop to spread out farther along Eddie’s torso. Admittedly, the affection flowing from his symbiote, combined with the bizarre sight of the rippling blackness all but consuming his stomach, was distracting him a bit from the book, but not so much that he couldn’t relax into the sensations. Until a sudden sharpness cut through the pleasant fog.
Eddie stiffened, and a small projection of Venom paused before withdrawing from just beneath his waistband.
“Hey, uh...”
Venom, still faceless, rose in an inquisitive peak on his chest.
“Let’s... let’s stop.” He set the book down and exchanged it for his phone, tapping through the alarm settings. “We should get some sleep. I need to run a few errands tomorrow before Annie and Dan pick us up for brunch.”
Venom exuded a frown and a wordless question, which Eddie pretended not to hear.
“G’night,” he said before switching off the lamp.
…Good night, Eddie.
The sharpness had faded, leaving behind only Venom’s slightly wounded confusion as they soaked fully into his chest cavity for the night, and Eddie’s own guilt at denying them an explanation. He’d have to address the issue eventually, but for now, if they really wanted to know, they could go swimming through the relevant memories while he slept.
The restaurant was located in the Upper Fillmore. It was a fancier place than he was used to, with a weekend morning menu almost too upscale for the designation of “brunch”. But, now that Eddie was making some money again, he insisted on paying for his own meal.
“How was Yosemite?” he asked Anne and Dan as they all waited for their food.
“Beautiful,” Anne said. “And much less crowded than the other times I’ve visited. I just wish we’d had longer than two days to enjoy it.”
“Someday, our schedules will conspire to allow us a weeklong vacation,” Dan said wistfully.
She patted his hand. “Maybe after retirement, honey.”
Eddie laughed. “High-power couple problems, huh?”
“Oh, no. I’m nowhere near Anne’s power level.” Dan smiled at her. “Which is absolutely fine by me. If I’d wanted that, I would’ve chosen a more glamorous field than laryngology. Or at least continued on the surgical side for longer.”
“Hey, don’t sell yourself short, though,” Eddie said. “You do lifesaving work.”
In the resulting pause, he knew they were all remembering the same series of events. Eddie felt Venom shifting uneasily in his ribcage and sent silent reassurance their way.
He cleared his throat. “Well, you both deserve all the vacation days you can get,” he said, as their waiter set the first plate of food on the table. “Tell me more about the trip?”
Eddie’s somewhat adventurous omelette came with a well-seasoned roasted potato medley. Venom vibrated with joy from the first bite and continued to pester him for seconds throughout the meal. Eddie eventually ordered two additional servings in a to-go box, though that was no guarantee that the potatoes would survive the trip back to their refrigerator.
The conversation continued over coffee and, for Eddie and Venom, chocolate sorbet. As they said their goodbyes, Eddie turned down Dan’s offer to drive him back to his apartment in favor of taking a long walk. The weather was nice—mildly overcast but warm enough for a single layer of clothing, plus a symbiote for added insulation.
Venom was quiet for the first few blocks, not even trying to get into the leftover potato medley. When they finally spoke up, it was to announce, You had sex with Anne.
“What?” Eddie sputtered, and quickly faked a coughing fit in case anyone around them heard. “No,” he hissed as he picked up speed, “I had brunch with Anne. And Dan. What are you talking about?”
A ripple passed through him, giving the impression of an eye roll. Before. You had a sexual relationship with her.
“Oh,” Eddie said, too loudly, before switching to mental speech. Well, romantic, mostly. We were engaged to be married. But yeah, that too.
But you didn’t enjoy it. The symbiote sounded troubled.
Eddie shook his head. That’s not true. They passed several storefronts and waited at an intersection as he considered how to explain asexuality to someone whose perspective was opposite that of most humans. This conversation should be comparatively painless, but he still felt the usual stomach-churning dread at approaching the topic.
The pedestrian crossing light appeared. Okay, Eddie said, starting across the street. Your species reproduces asexually, right?
Yes. They had discussed that, though not in much detail.
So you kind of get where I’m coming from, he continued, in terms of attraction. Or a lack thereof. I was extremely attracted to Anne romantically, just not sexually. And, well… I don’t know if you personally would be repulsed by that sort of activity, or just indifferent to it. But for me, even if it wasn’t something I desired, like, intrinsically, I still enjoyed making her feel good. As a way of… expressing my love for her, giving her something that she wanted with and from me. If that makes sense.
Talking about his time with Anne still inspired pangs of nostalgia, but it no longer hurt. What he had now was equally special.
I see, Venom replied after a moment. They said nothing more, but Eddie could feel them pacing his veins in thought all the way home.
With each of Eddie’s past romantic partners, there had come a time when the relationship turned sexual, and from then on nearly every intense cuddling session culminated in the same way. It wasn’t that they ignored his boundaries; they just needed and desired things he didn’t. And as happy as he was to indulge the needs of the people he loved, he still wished they could explore physical affection further without a specific end in mind.
With Venom, doing so was effortless. This new understanding between them only broadened the potential of their shared physicality. While the symbiote preferred to dip in and out of Eddie’s skin as they moved around his torso, they also experimented by staying fully within his body, surprising him with each slightly ticklish internal caress, and by manifesting fully outside of him, with or without a proper face, for some of the tightest and most intense hugs Eddie had ever received. But those were reserved for especially bad days when he ached for contact and compression over all else; most of the time it wasn’t worth feeling the lightness in his bones without a symbiote threaded through the marrow. Besides, he, too preferred forms of touch that embraced Venom’s nonhuman nature: tendrils coiling lovingly around his body; waves of symbiote cresting over his shoulders in a living massage; fluttery pressure-kisses all over his face, his collarbone, his stomach, his fingers. On rare occasions he appreciated a few affectionate licks of Venom’s giant tongue against his cheek, though it usually just made him laugh.
He puzzled over what, exactly, distinguished cuddling from the other kinds of touch that they were engaged in at every moment as two entities sharing a body. Any movement of the symbiote, whether stretching idly down his spine or fully enveloping him in their powerful combined form, felt right, felt like connection and synchronicity and love of the most comfortable and everyday sort, whereas only certain types of deliberate touch felt like intimacy and warmth and romance. The latter could happen anywhere, as long as they were safe and unoccupied and in a decent mood, and Eddie came to secretly enjoy walking through the city with a big goofy grin on his face and affection blooming in his chest as Venom slinked around beneath his shirt. But, of course, they only went in for protracted snuggling in the privacy of Eddie’s apartment, often while watching a movie or listening to one of Mrs. Chen’s meditation CDs.
At times, the intensity of sensation did get to him, provoking an involuntary response from his body. Venom always paused and waited for Eddie’s instructions to loosen their hold, or gather themself higher above his waist, until the danger passed. On one occasion, though, several months into their union, Eddie hesitated to make the request. He bit his lip in thought and reached over to the nightstand to switch off the CD player.
A few seconds ticked by in increasingly fraught silence and sensitivity. Venom’s crescent-shaped eyes blinked open—a rare occurrence—on the concentration of their mass closest to Eddie’s heart. Uncomfortable?
“No,” he said honestly, and sighed. Why was he making such a big deal out of this? If it was really something he could take or leave, why not take the occasional opportunity? Let Venom experience something new? By definition, anything optional should at least be an option. Even if it wasn’t the ultimate goal of their intimacy; even if he was overwhelmingly grateful for the perfect match of their needs and preferences…
Eddie propped himself up on the bed to meet the symbiote’s milky gaze. “Look… do you want to just let this happen? Just this once, so you know what it’s like? Would that be okay?”
The eyes disappeared, but after a moment Venom hummed assent.
“You’re not uncomfortable?” he pressed.
No, Eddie.
“You understand that certain kinds of touch are available to me, but off-limits for you?”
Of course.
“But you’re still fine with experiencing them through me.”
Always.
“Okay, love.” He lay back, focusing on the trust between them to smooth down the spikes of apprehension. “Just stay up here, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
And he did, as the symbiote flowed outward along his ribs and deepened their embrace.
A few minutes later, as his breathing slowed, and as Venom swam around happily, basking in the chemicals reinforcing their bond, he allowed a small discomfort to surface. It wasn’t shame—he had long ago stopped feeling ashamed around Venom for any reason—but he struggled to identify it until he heard his name echoing in his head.
Eddie, Venom said as they snuggled up closer to his face, Eddie, Eddie. Their tone was almost reverent, and the implications of that scared him. This felt familiar.
Eddie held his hand to his heart and watched black filaments wind between his fingers. He raised his arm, stretching them out until they dangled over his face. Venom retracted back into his chest and reappeared, higher up and in a denser form, to nuzzle his jawline. Love Eddie.
“You enjoyed that, huh?” he murmured into the affectionate ball of symbiote, which responded by tugging gently at his lips in an unusually direct kiss. That pleased and concerned him at the same time.
When you feel good, we feel good, Venom affirmed.
“So… is that something you’d want to go through more often, then?” he asked, anxiety catching in his voice for the last few words.
Venom stilled, digesting both the question and Eddie’s tone. No, they said finally.
The flood of relief was immediate, but he pushed it back down. “No?”
No. The symbiote circled slowly in his ribcage. Many things feel good to human bodies. But not all physical pleasure is agreeable to us. Like eating too much chocolate.
Eddie laughed, expelling some of the tension from his chest. “Well, there it’s more the aftermath that’s unpleasant. Stomachaches and all that. And, you know, I’m not… I don’t regret sharing this with you.”
We know. Venom rose briefly out of Eddie’s breastbone before flattening out again in a sheet of reassuring warmth. But not often, they said. Maybe not ever again, if we don’t want to. And that would be fine.
Eddie groaned quietly. He found himself brushing away tears before he realized they were there. “God,” he exhaled, shaking his head. “You’re too good to me.”
A wave of vehement disagreement hit him. Never too good, Venom insisted. We deserve the best. Love, love, love Eddie.
“And I love you,” he said with a smile, closing his eyes.
Sleep was overtaking both of them, but he coaxed out a few of Venom’s tendrils to kiss them in gratitude and hold them close against his heart.
“So, I have some interesting news,” Anne told Eddie the following Sunday morning, as he ate the final bite of a blueberry muffin. Dan was finishing up some last-minute work and would join them at the cafe in half an hour. “It turns out I have a type.”
“Yeah?” Eddie cocked his head. “Let me guess: excessively handsome?”
“Is that your first thought about my partner?” She laughed. “I swear, one of these days you two are going to run off with each other and leave me in the dust. No, as it turns out, my type is excessively handsome asexual men.”
“Oh,” Eddie said, taking that in. “Oh, wow. Congratulations? To Dan, I guess?”
“Indeed. But it was thanks to you that I was able to help him figure it out.”
He could only nod, though he felt Venom rumbling with approval.
“I should apologize, though,” Anne said, tapping the handle of her ceramic teacup. “I didn’t explicitly tell Dan that that’s how you identify, but it was pretty obvious from my fumbling description. I’m sorry if you would have rather told him yourself, or not at all.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Eddie said after a moment’s thought. “As long as Dan’s also fine with me knowing about this?”
“He wanted you to be the first to know.” She smiled. “And he said I should break the news, because he still feels a little shy talking about it.”
“Sure. I get it. He should, uh, feel free to come to me with any questions.” Eddie felt Venom nudge his shoulder, in the way that they did whenever he was being an awkward dork.
Anne laughed. “Don’t worry, Dan’s already got his nose buried in what little medical literature on asexuality he can find.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. But, you know. Personal questions, personal experience questions.”
Anne raised an eyebrow.
“Not about our experiences!” He lifted his hands defensively. “That’s all on you.”
“All right. Just making sure.” She sipped her tea.
“And I’m not going to pry into your business together, either, but… if he’s just figuring things out…” Eddie shrugged, hoping that half-suggestion alone wasn’t too invasive.
Anne sighed. “Yes, thank you. We’re taking things slowly right now, being very conscious of boundaries.”
“Okay. Good.” He picked up his fork to push around a few muffin crumbs left on the plate.
Anne made a sudden noise of displeasure, and he looked up to see her frowning. “Eddie… you were always fine with whatever we did, right? I never pushed you out of your comfort zone?”
He considered that, and then worried that he was alarming her by delaying the answer. “I mean, a lot of things are technically outside my comfort zone. That doesn’t mean they’re bad, or even unpleasant.” A list of examples ran through his and Venom’s thoughts. Heights; they were getting him used to that. Maintaining such a friendly and candid relationship with his ex was something he’d never managed before. As for crushing and consuming human skulls… even this far into their partnership, that required ongoing negotiation.
Anne looked unconvinced. “‘Not unpleasant’ is a few steps removed from ‘enjoyable’ or ‘desired.’”
Eddie set down his fork to take her hands. “Annie. I loved you—I still do, in a different way—and I loved everything we did together, in and out of bed. I trusted you enough for that, and you never abused my trust. I promise.”
A flurry of emotions crossed Anne’s face before her gaze dropped to their hands. “Eddie…”
“I know. Don’t worry. We’re both in committed relationships now.” He let go. “And I know you’ll listen to Dan as well as you listened to me.”
She was smirking at him.
“What?” It felt like Venom was smirking at him, too. “What?!” Eddie asked his own chest.
“Oh, nothing,” said Anne, fidgeting with her cup and visibly suppressing a laugh. “That’s just the first time you’ve admitted it in front of me.”
“What, that I—oh.” Committed relationship. They’d long since told Anne about Venom’s survival of the rocket explosion, and she was vaguely aware of and extremely conflicted about their vigilante habit, but apart from that they hadn’t gone into much detail about their daily lives together.
Eddie smiled sheepishly. “Yeah…”
“So. How’s that going?”
How was it going? He thought about whispered banter and wordless outpourings of emotion. Calculated violence and unbridled affection. Hugs and soft cuddles and light kisses. Black puddles rising from his pores and tendrils pressing down over his heartbeat. Unconditional trust and unlimited possibilities.
Another, smoother set of fingers interlocked with the hand resting in his lap and squeezed encouragingly.
Eddie smiled. “It’s good,” he said, squeezing back. “We’re good. Better than anything I could have imagined.”