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1.
“Don’t forget to submit the homework I gave on the next class. Class dismissed.” With that, the mathematics’ teacher walked out of the class. All the students began to pack their belongings and one by one stepped out of the class, bidding goodbyes to each one of them. Sunwoo let out a soft sigh, closing his tired eyes for a few seconds before looking at his right, outside the windows. The weather was a bit cloudy today.
Is it going to rain soon?
Someone nudged him slightly, motioning his head towards the door. “You’re not going?” –Hyunjoon asked, rising his brow slightly, his sharp eyes locked with Sunwoo’s almond one. “Later, you can go first.” –Sunwoo said, slowly putting his books inside his bag pack.
Hyunjoon smirked. “Waiting for your lover, huh? I heard that his class ends late today.” Sunwoo scowled loudly, an annoying looking face plastered on his face along with a loud He is not my lover! We’re best friends! God dammit! Hyunjoon laughed at that. Sunwoo’s reaction towards his teases each time was something he anticipated the most. “Aish! Go home already.”
With a force, he pushed his laughing friend out of the class. A slight pink blushed decorated his cheeks. Hyunjoon’s laugh fade away slowly. He gave his friend a fond smile. “Sure, lover boy. Oops, best friends I mean. Just don’t wait too long or you’ll regret it.” With that, he quickly turned around, lifting up his right arm and waving his hand in a lazy manner. He slowly disappeared from Sunwoo’s sight, leaving him alone. Sunwoo replayed Hyunjoon’s last sentence in his mind.
Regret, huh?
“Tsk! Since when he is my lover. I don’t like him that way.” Sunwoo rolled his eyes in annoyance, taking his bag in his hand and proceeded to go home. Along the way to the gate, Sunwoo’s mind was in a mess. He just can’t stop thinking about that one particular boy, a senior of his actually. Sometimes, just by thinking of the other boy made him feel happy. A soft smile made its way on his face.
“Sun-ah!” Sunwoo blinked his eyes once, twice. That voice. He recognized that voice. That beautiful voice of his senior. He was so sure of it. Only that person would called him with that nickname. Sunwoo widened his eyes slightly, turning his head around to look for the source of the voice.
Shit! Did he saw me smiling?
There he was, standing just a few meters away from him with hand waving frantically at him. And not to forget the brightest smile plastered on his beautiful face. Sunwoo cleared his throat slightly, hands suddenly felt sweaty. Am I always like this whenever I am near him? God, this is embarrassing.
“Sun-ah, you’re not going home yet?” Sunwoo nodded his head stupidly, trying hard to keep his infamous poker face when his brain tried hard to come out with something as an excuse. “Have something to do earlier.” The older boy, Haknyeon again smiled brightly, showing off his white organized teeth.
“Really? Or are you waiting for me? You know, going home together?” –Haknyeon sheepishly said, long fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Sunwoo scoffed. “It’s not like I want to go home with you or anything!”
He then walked ahead, took out his own umbrella out of his bag and opened it. He took a glance behind him and said, “I know you long enough to know that you might be forgotten your umbrella at home, am I right?” Hearing that, automatically he widened his already big eyes as he realized that he indeed left his umbrella at home but then grinned widely.
“Aigoo, are not you the sweetest?” –Haknyeon teased as he came closer to the younger, linking their arms together like it was the natural thing to do. “I-It’s not like I care or anything!” –Sunwoo stuttered on his words, looking elsewhere but the older. The rain seemed to suddenly start pouring. The sound of the rain pitter-pattered on the ground, it was loud but yet it was calming.
The sound of Sunwoo’s heartbeat was left unheard. He was glad though. With Haknyeon standing so close to him like this, he didn’t know just how much his heart could take it. Haknyeon was clinging to him, giggling softly like a little kid while reaching out his hands, letting the raindrops touched his skin. Sunwoo dropped his poker face, smiling as he witnessed the little angel in front of him.
What a beautiful angel.
After a few minutes, he grabbed the elder’s hand, startling the boy. Haknyeon gave a confused look at Sunwoo. “Enough of that already. What are you, a kid? I’m tired, let’s go home.” –Sunwoo reasoned. Haknyeon pouted at that comment, opening his mouth to protest but quickly closed it back when Sunwoo’s left arm rested on the his waist, bringing him closer since the umbrella was not big enough to cover them both as what Sunwoo told himself.
That was the only chance he got to be closed with the older too so he was not complaining. The rest of the journey went by just like that with Sunwoo’s arm still around the elder’s waist and the redness on Haknyeon’s face remained unnoticed by Sunwoo.
2.
Sunwoo stepped inside the cafeteria, looking around for a vacant seat with a lunchbox in his hand along with Haknyeon who followed closely behind. Sunwoo quietly set his lunchbox on the table before taking a seat and Haknyeon did the same. Sunwoo lifted up his face and took a look at Haknyeon who had been unusually quiet. “What’s with you?”
“Ah, I’m so hungry…” Haknyeon pursed his lips, mumbling under his breath. “Then eat, idiot. Don’t be such a drama queen.” Haknyeon glared at his best friend, whispering a soft meanie in the process. “You don’t understand, Sun.” –He stated firmly and Sunwoo nodded at that. He noted in his head that he never understood the older anyway. No one did.
Haknyeon began to whine about how life was unfair and that he was not fat, just chubby. He blamed his mother for cutting his allowance and suddenly stop making him lunchbox, saying that he needed to diet for his own well-being. Also, about how he had been forced to work in partners with Byun Hyunmin. “We’re supposed to work on the assignment together but no, I’m the only one who did it. It is annoying. He keeps on leaning closer that I get suffocated.”
Sunwoo patiently listened to every words Haknyeon said, his hands busied with dividing his lunch in half but the last sentence caught his attention that made his eyes twitched in annoyance. Oh how much he hated that name. He gritted his teeth in anger.
That bastard! He did what?
The grip he had on the chopsticks tightened but not too hard for Haknyeon to notice.
“Done talking? Here, eat.” –Sunwoo passed half of his lunch towards the older who looked surprise at him. “What?” Sunwoo furrowed his brows, eating his food in a good manner. “Do you make these for me? Is that why your lunchbox is quiet large today?” –Haknyeon asked, his big doe eyes glittered in hope.
Hearing that, Sunwoo choked on his food and quickly took a big gulp from his water bottle. “I just had some leftover from yesterday…I-I didn’t make these for you!” –He tried to reason, poking on his food due to being nervous.
Is it too obvious that he did told his mother to pack more food than usual and the fact that he knew Haknyeon’s mom was indeed stop making lunchbox for the older.
“Are you sure? Then, why did you choke on your food?” Haknyeon teased, playfully poking his index finger on Sunwoo’s hand that was placed on the table. Sunwoo felt his face heated up in embarrassment. Sunwoo groaned at him before snatching his hand away, resting it on his lap instead. “You just caught me by surprise, that’s all!”
“Yeah, whatever you say.” With that, Haknyeon didn’t waste time to stuff his face with food and moaned in delight. “I’m not doing this for you at all!” –Sunwoo shouted, trying hard to prove his point but the older just ignored him and kept eating. Sunwoo’s eyes met Hyunjoon’s at the other side of the cafeteria who had his infamous smirk on.
Haish!
Sunwoo tried hard to control himself from giving his friend a middle finger so he forcefully stuffed his mouth with the kimchi in his lunchbox. He then turned to glare at the older boy who seemed to enjoy the food he brought and ignored him.
“You’d better be grateful for this!”
3.
Sunwoo lazily scrolled through his smartphone for any interesting things to watch. It was just another weekend for him to spend time doing nothing as usual. He heaved a heavy sigh, throwing his phone to another side of the couch. There was nothing to do and he was bored to death. Not to mention his growling stomach, wanting to be filled.
“Mom is going home late today. Guess I should have made something to eat myself.” –He said, entering the kitchen to search for some leftover food or maybe a packet of instant noodle. He was about to pour water in a pot when his phone made a ‘ring’ sound indicated that he got a message from someone.
Oh! Who is it?
He grabbed his phone in one hand and opened the message.
From: Hakhak♥
Come to my house. I made some food.
Sunwoo unconsciously smiled reading the message. Haknyeon was sure something, he thought. Guess who agreed to go to Haknyeon’s house. Yes, it’s Sunwoo but don’t get him wrong, who would refused free food anyway. Also, Haknyeon’s cooking ability was getting better but Sunwoo was not Sunwoo if he was going to admit that out loud.
To: Hakhak♥
Will be there. Make sure it is edible.
A moment later, Sunwoo was already standing in front of Haknyeon’s front door. He was about to knock on the door but Haknyeon was fast enough to open it first. Seeing Sunwoo’s surprised face, Haknyeon let out an awkward laugh. “I just know it was you. Let’s eat.” –Haknyeon said, grabbing Sunwoo’s arm in his hand and dragging the boy towards the dining table.
Sunwoo was eyeing Haknyeon from head to toe. The older wore an oversize yellow hoodie with a cute rabbit design on it. His eyes fell on the smooth fair legs of the older and gulped.
Wait a minute!
“What are you wearing? Why don’t you wear any pants?” –Sunwoo blurted out without thinking. Haknyeon stopped on his track and looked at the younger in confusion. “What are you talking about? I did wear pant.” –Haknyeon said, lifting up the hem of his hoodie, revealing the short pants he wore underneath.
“It is too short. It looks like you didn’t wear anything. What if someone else comes and see you like this?” Sunwoo’s expression suddenly darkened when the thought of someone else seeing Haknyeon in that outfit. It was so obvious that he was jealous but Sunwoo thought that he was just being over protective over Haknyeon, nothing else.
“I never invite anyone else other than you, Sun-ah. Besides, I only dress like this when I am with you and my family.” –Haknyeon replied, smiling reassuringly at Sunwoo before setting enough plates for them both. Sunwoo watched Haknyeon, somehow relieved when the older said that. He felt special.
“Don’t wear something like that ever again. Wear something appropriate. Do you think you are cute?” –Sunwoo commented bluntly, giving the older a judging look. “Tsk! I am cute.” –Haknyeon said, emphasizing each word before sticking his tongue out at Sunwoo. Sunwoo made a face, acting like he wanted to throw up. Haknyeon huffed at that.
“Well, at least I put some effort to dress up unlike you.” Sunwoo smirked, rising an eyebrow as he stared at Haknyeon. “It is not my fault that I look handsome in whatever I am wearing…unlike you.” Haknyeon rolled his eyes half-heartedly.
“You are such a meanie. Why can’t you be nice to me?” –Haknyeon mumbled softly, pouting his lips a little. “Nah, not my cup of tea.” –Sunwoo replied, pulling out the chair next to him.
Because teasing Haknyeon has always been my cup of tea.
Sunwoo took a seat opposite of Haknyeon, eyeing the food in front of him. He felt his mouth watered at the sight of it. “Creamy rose pasta?” Haknyeon nodded his head excitedly, gesturing his hand for Sunwoo to try. Sunwoo took a hold of the spatula and put some pasta in his plate before making eye contacts with the older.
“Are you sure this is edible? You’re not planning to poison me with this, right?” –Sunwoo asked, voice full of curiosity and sarcasm. The older made a face at him. “What kind of person do you think I am? W-Why would I poison someone so…dearest to me?” Haknyeon gritted his teeth slightly, the last couple of words came out like a whisper as he sulkily looked down to his own plate for a second before looking back at the younger.
Unfortunately for him, Sunwoo didn’t bother to hear his reply since he was too busy focusing on the food in front of him. He grabbed the fork in his hand and began to eat. His eyes widened a little in realization and stuffed some more in his mouth.
This is really good.
Haknyeon who saw the whole thing giggled to himself. “It is good, right? Told you I can cook well.” –He stated, looking so proud of himself. “I didn’t say anything yet. It wasn’t that great! I was just really convincing at pretending it was!”
“But you keep on eating so that means it is good. Why can’t you just admit it?” Haknyeon angrily pointed his index finger towards Sunwoo, trying to prove himself in which Sunwoo replied with, “I am just too hungry to care for your information.” He then shoved another bite of the pasta.
“I eat it because it is edible but you still need to do better! Not that I expect much from an idiot like you!” Haknyeon let out a tsk, stomping his feet like a little kid, pouting his lips as he left the kitchen. “Wash the dishes yourself. I’m not doing it.” He then went to sulk on the couch, hugging his favorite plushy in his arm.
This sound biased but I love Haknyeon’s food more than mom’s.
Sunwoo chuckled seeing the elder’s reaction, shaking his head in amusement.
You are so cute, my heart can’t take it.
Once he finished eating, he collected all the dirty plates and went to the sink, washing them. He never knew washing the dishes could be so interesting that he was smiling the entire time. The sad gaze from the other side of the room was left unnoticed.
4.
Sunwoo had just finished his class that afternoon. Walking through the familiar hallway he memorized like the back of his hand. On the way to Haknyeon’s class, Sunwoo saw something, more like someone he knew too well. His eyes widened in shocked. Haknyeon. Haknyeon was on the ground with bloody lips, surrounded by three seniors he despised so much.
“Yah! What are you doing?” –Sunwoo shouted out loud, startling the three seniors including Haknyeon. Sunwoo wasted no time, running towards them, throwing a few punches and kicks in anger.
“No one. No one who dares to lay a finger at Haknyeon to go unharmed.” Sunwoo clenched his teeth hard. “I won’t forgive you.” Sunwoo was about to throw another punch when Haknyeon called for him.
“Sun-ah…” –Haknyeon called again. Sunwoo looked at him and the older softly shook his head, eyes pled to stop. Sunwoo let go of the seniors, glaring intently at them who ran away in fear.
“What are you, stupid? What did you do for them to beat you?” Sunwoo waited for the older to answer. The said boy looked uneasy but opening his mouth anyway. ”They are all talking ill about you. I-I just…”
Flashback
Haknyeon was on the way to his class when he heard Sunwoo’s name being said. At the corner of his eyes, he saw three boys stood by the staircases. He knew them. They were the seniors who kept messing with Sunwoo during soccer practice. “What are they talking about? Is it about Sunwoo?” Haknyeon walked closer, keeping himself hidden from being caught.
“That Sunwoo…who does he think he is. Fucking stupid.” The boy named Jaeseong said, punching the poor wall in front of him. “If not for him, I can still play for the team.” –He added, chugging down the rest of the beer from the can in his hand and threw it away without care.
“That kid has the nerve to take away your position during the team selection.”
Haknyeon furrowed his brows, mouthing the words to himself. “Ahh…because of the team selection yesterday. No wonder.” He bite his lips, waiting for them to finish talking so that he could freely walked away without getting caught but the words came out from the other’s mouth shocked him.
“Do you guys want to know something?” Jaeseong looked at his friends and continued. “Yesterday night, I found something interesting. Just an underage boy…working at a club.” The others including Haknyeon widened their eyes.
“Is it Sunwoo? Daebak!” Jaeseong then smirked, plotting an evil plan in his mind. “What are you planning, huh?” He then shrugged his shoulder. “Just you wait.”
Haknyeon stepped backwards slowly but luck was not on his side, he knocked down the dustbin behind him. The three seniors looked his way and Haknyeon knew he was doomed when all of them surrounded him. “Aigoo, look at you, eavesdropping us I see.”
Haknyeon braved himself to match his gaze with Jaeseong and said, “Sunwoo is much better than you obviously. He deserves that position more than you and you know it.” Jaeseong mere laughed sinisterly, waiting for the boy to continue talking. “The fact that you, using his job to destroy him is disgusting. You guys are disgusting.” –Haknyeon spat the words in anger. He was furious.
A punch came in contact with his face and with that alone, he fell on the ground.
End Flashback
Sunwoo sat on the stool prepared next to the bed in the infirmary, cleaning the dry blood at the corner of Haknyeon’s lips. He gently dapped the wet cotton on the wound, heaving a soft sigh in process.
Haknyeon…He got hurt because of him.
This poor boy knew that he could get hurt but he still tried to defend him. His heart suddenly felt warm that he unconsciously smiled. “Why are you smiling? Are you that happy knowing I did that for you?” –The older asked, voice getting higher as he spoke.
Sunwoo intentionally pressed harder on the wound and snickered. “I’m not happy! Don’t misunderstand me! It is just funny knowing you out of all people have the nerve to do that.” – Sunwoo exclaimed, voice matching with the other as he mocked the older.
He put the cotton aside, locking gaze with Haknyeon, hand reaching the elder’s face as he slowly caressing the other’s cheek. “J-Just, don’t put yourself at risk for my sake…idiot.” He quickly let go of Haknyeon’s face as realization came to him.
Haknyeon blushed, a light pink hue settled on both cheeks. “Thank you, Sun-ah…for helping me.” Sunwoo hummed, nodding his head a little, feeling embarrassed for no reason. “It’s not like I wanted to help you or anything, it’s just my job!”
To protect you… To always be there for you.
He wanted to say that but he had no gut to do so. Or maybe it was better this way.
Both of them were just sitting there in complete silence, no one said anything until Haknyeon spoke. “Sunwoo…do you like someone?” Sunwoo was surprised to say the least. He did not expected to hear those words came out from Haknyeon. “Why do you ask? Do you have one in mind?” Sunwoo watched Haknyeon as the elder’s cheeks turned crimson.
D-did he just…blushed?
Sunwoo’s heart stopped beating. He felt like his world just crumbled down at that moment but he tried to act normal, clearing his throat. “Is that a yes?” Haknyeon nodded shyly, playing with his fingers like it was the most interesting things to do. Sunwoo hated it. Whoever that person was, he hated him for being able to make Haknyeon all blushy and vulnerable but he tried to play it cool.
“Whoever that person is, he must be so unlucky. I feel sorry for him.” Sunwoo said while awkwardly laughing, trying to joke around like he used to but he stopped when Haknyeon’s smile flattered. “You are a big meanie. He should be grateful…that I even have feeling for him.” –Haknyeon replied, a little unsure since using you and he in the same sentence for some reasons felt weird.
“Besides, I am quite popular. People like you can’t possibly know that.” Sunwoo covered his mouth, trying to prevent from bursting into laugh. “Who do you think you are? You are basically the weirdest person I’ve ever met in my life.”
The only person who catches my attention, my heart.
“I am not. Kim Sunwoo, I hate you!” Haknyeon hit Sunwoo’s arm multiple times, yelling I hate you for how many times already. “Hey! You cannot hate me. I am telling the truth. You better consider it a privilege I even converse with you!”
“Is it true?”
“What is?” Sunwoo watched as Haknyeon’s brows furrowed as if in a deep thought. “That I am a weird person.” Sunwoo flicked the elder’s forehead, snickering. “Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does. I was just joking.”
The sound of bell rang surprised them both and Haknyeon looked at the younger before laughing out loud. “Idiot.” Sunwoo laughed as well because Haknyeon’s laugh was contagious. “Let’s go home.” – Sunwoo said, smiling.
It’s okay if you love someone else. I am going to be happy for you. For your sake.
But, just this time, let me love you…
“Sun-ah, tomorrow I am going to visit my grandmother in Jeju so I would not be able to meet you for a few days.” Sunwoo hummed softly. He kept walking slowly with Haknyeon clinging at his side who looked at him with a suspicious smile. “What? If you think I’m going to miss you, guess again!”
“Tsk! Such a cold-hearted bastard.” –Haknyeon said out loud, hitting Sunwoo’s shoulder and walking ahead. “You love me though!” –Sunwoo shouted from behind. He sighed in content.
Is it possible to love too much? I am going to miss you.
5.
Sunwoo checked his phone for any message from Haknyeon, frowning when he didn’t get any. Haknyeon usually texted him almost every day. He waited for another five minutes and another minutes. He ruffled his hair in frustration, sitting properly with phone in hand. He decided to call Haknyeon but the older didn’t pick up his phone. He looked at his phone, “Tsk! Why didn’t you answer my call?”
He then went to the bathroom and took a bath, wearing his uniform and grabbing a toast in the dining table before going to the elder’s house, only to find out that the other boy had gone to school already. “This is weird. He never leave me before.”
Sunwoo walked to school in a deep thought. His mind was a mess, he didn’t remember doing something wrong to anger the older. Besides, they were best friends since forever. If anything, Haknyeon would have said something.
He spaced out a lot during lessons. He kept on getting reprimanded from the teachers to focus in class. He sighed loudly when the recess’ bell rang. He buried his face between his arms, mumbling something incoherently under his breath. His friends looked at him in worried.
“What’s wrong, Sunwoo-ah? You don’t look good.” –Youngjae asked, patting his back to get his attention. He then looked at Hyunjoon when Sunwoo ignored him. Hyunjoon shook his head and spoke gently, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Just know that we are here if you need anything.”
Both Youngjae and Hyunjoon went away to go to the cafeteria. Sunwoo lifted up his face, looking around and found out that he was alone. His phone vibrated as a message popped out on his screen.
From: Hakhak♥
Sun-ah…Sorry, I can’t join you at lunch today. Something comes out.
Sunwoo sighed. Guess it was better to just stay here. He suddenly lost his appetite. He frowned again for the nth time already. Ahh…I don’t know anymore. He closed his eyes and decided to catch on some sleep before recess ended.
The last class ended for that day as the Physics’ teacher dismissed them and walked out of class. Sunwoo packed his things and got up, bidding goodbyes to his friends and went to the changing room for the soccer club. He quickly changed into his sport attire and forcefully stuffed all his belongings into the locker but his phone vibrated again, indicating a message came in.
From: Hakhak♥
Can’t go home with you. Class ends late today.
He put back his phone inside the locker without replying again and went to the field. He started to warm up to get ready. He didn’t know how many times he messed up with the game that evening but the captain didn’t get mad at him. The senior asked him to get some rest first before continuing the game because he looked a little pale.
Sunwoo wiped his sweat using the towel he brought, eyes looked around hoping to get a glimpse of the older. The moment he saw the sight of the elder’s back, he felt like the time just stopped for a brief second. There he was, standing with a boy, probably older than him. Both were laughing while holding hands and those smiles were the reasons Sunwoo fell for the other boy but now it was no longer meant for him.
Sunwoo clenched his teeth hard enough that his jaw hurt. “Sunbaenim, can I go home now. I don’t feel good.” –Sunwoo spoke slowly, breath came out faster than usual. “Sure, you can. You look so pale too. Get some rest, okay.” Sunwoo nodded his head and mouthed a small thank you before walking back to the changing room.
He took his phone in hand and typed something to the older. His expression hardened with eyes burned in anger.
To: Hakhak♥
I don’t know you had an outdoor class today. Have fun with your date, Joo Haknyeon.
He clicked send and changed back to his school uniform. After a few minutes, he walked out of the door and proceeded to the gate. There he saw Haknyeon and the senior, still side by side but something seemed off because they were no longer smiling and laughing but Sunwoo was really not in the mood to care.
Haknyeon lied to him. He lied and Sunwoo hated it. He could have said the truth because Sunwoo could understand it if Haknyeon wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. That senior must be the one that Haknyeon liked. He felt betrayed and annoyed because if that was the truth then he hated both of them.
One, because Haknyeon lied to him. Two, because the boy that Haknyeon liked was not him. He felt pathetic for hoping to be more than just friend.
He walked pass them, slightly hoping to be left alone because he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t face Haknyeon now. The anger he felt was not subsided just yet. He didn’t want to say something he didn’t meant. And the fact that he felt like crying made him harder to look at Haknyeon because he might ended up crying. His heart hurt so badly.
“S-Sun-ah…I can explain.” –Haknyeon called out, grabbing his hand in the process. Sunwoo tried to free himself but Haknyeon tightened his grasp. “Sunwoo please…” –Haknyeon begged, his voice sounded so sad, Sunwoo almost lost it.
“There is no need to repeat yourself. I ignore you just fine the first time.” –Sunwoo rudely stated, tugging his arm harshly out of the other’s grasp and started to walk. Sunwoo remained looking in front of him. “Y-You don’t understand. Jaehyun hyung is not my boyfriend. We are just…” Haknyeon couldn’t even finished his sentences when Sunwoo interrupted him.
“I’m not going to listen to you. Your word means nothing to me.” –Sunwoo said, the words felt bitter when he said it but he couldn’t help it, he was really angry. He then smiled sadly, turning his head to look at the older. “Like I said, no need to explain anything. It’s not like there was anything between us. You are your own person. You can do whatever you want. It is not my business.”
The senior, Jaehyun was about to say something, to protest but Haknyeon stopped him and mouthed something along the lines –I got this, hyung. That was all he could make out what he was saying.
Haknyeon’s eyes were red, he noticed but he didn’t understand why. At the corner of his eyes, he saw Jaehyun walked towards Haknyeon, hugging his side. He was about to walk again when he heard Haknyeon’s voice. “You really don’t understand but you don’t even give me time to explain. And you are mad, that is why I need to explain everything. I am sorry I lied but I thought it was better that way.” Haknyeon was now crying, his small body shook as more tears came out from his eyes.
Sunwoo heard Jaehyun whispered some words of comfort into Haknyeon’s ear and that alone made his blood boiled in anger.
Not boyfriend you said.
“Yes, you are right.” Haknyeon took a deep breath before continuing, “T-There was nothing going on between us. We’re just friends. But, I want this to never end…This friendship I mean. That’s why I try to make it right.” Haknyeon was now a crying mess, hiccupping violently, his bloodshot eyes staring right at Sunwoo’s.
“I-I have never seen you this mad.” Sunwoo scoffed. “And, you never lied. Enough with this talking already. I am sick of it. Sick of you.” –Sunwoo replied. His throat felt dry suddenly.
“Why do you always say the opposite of what you actually feel, Sun-ah?” –Haknyeon asked, trying to keep the conversation going. More drops of tears fell from his eyes. He looked pitiful but he didn’t care, not anymore, not when Sunwoo was mad at him. “For once, can you be real with me?”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” –Sunwoo exclaimed. He smiled sadly, eyes glistened with tears. “What do you know about my feeling? You know nothing of it. Right now, I am being real with you. Let’s end this.”
“B-But Sunwoo, I…”
“Idiot! Go ahead and die, then! I don’t care!” Sunwoo then continued walking, half running away as he heard Haknyeon cried, calling for him. He also heard the senior cursed at him but pretended not to hear them. He hated himself so much at that moment. He swore to beat the hell out of the people who made Haknyeon cried but here he was, being the reason behind those tears. He didn’t even looked back, not even a single glance.
He wanted to look behind. To hug Haknyeon and tell him about the things he was meant to say. But he knew it was too late. Everything happened in a blink of eyes. He really didn’t meant anything he said. Those were just an act he put up and he regret it. Hyunjoon was right.
He hated himself for not being able to shut up and hurt Haknyeon. He was overreacting over something sot petty. He was being pathetic and hopeless. At the end of the day, Sunwoo was still the same coward person he was before.
6.
Sunwoo was sitting in the middle of the cafeteria with Youngjae and Hyunjoon beside him along with a few seniors from soccer club. They were all busy chattering with each other excluding Sunwoo who just sat there, staring into spaces.
Regret.
It was something that had been in Sunwoo’s mind lately. Sunwoo regretted everything he said to Haknyeon the other day. He really did. Things had not been the same since the day they fought. It was mostly Sunwoo’s fault to be honest. Sunwoo was a coward and he blamed all that to Haknyeon.
It had been days Sunwoo didn’t heard anything about the older. He did saw him actually but only when Haknyeon walked pass his house to go to school. He didn’t get to meet him in school too. It seemed like the older avoided him at all cost. Or maybe he was busy with his boyfriend or whatever their statuses were.
Also, Haknyeon didn’t send him messages anymore. Not even a good morning or goodnight liked he usually did. He knew he fucked up everything. Haknyeon must be so mad at him or maybe hated him too.
Sunwoo missed the older so much. His laughter. His smile. His voice. Sunwoo missed everything about the older. He missed the other’s presence near him.
I miss you.
A single tear suddenly rolled down his cheek without him realizing it. Sangyeon who sat in front of him looked at him in worried. “Sunwoo-ah, are you okay?” –He said, holding the younger’s hand to get his attention. Sunwoo looked at him and smiled. “I’m fine, hyung. Why are you asking?”
“You’re crying just now. And you look sad. Is something wrong?” –Sangyeon said again, pointing to the younger’s eyes to prove his point. “You have been acting weird too.” Hyunjoon and Youngjae both stopped talking and inspected Sunwoo’s face and there was indeed a trace of tears. Sunwoo quickly wiped away the tears from his face.
“I-I just did something terrible to someone and now I kind of regret it.” –He explained, looking down on the table. “To be honest, serve me right.” He smiled sadly before standing up from his seat, saying something about having somewhere to go and walked away, leaving the cafeteria.
Sangyeon was about to call for Sunwoo but Hyunjoon stopped him, shaking his head. “Just let him be. It’s better that way.” Hyunjoon stared at Sunwoo, his shoulder dropped, looking so sad than ever. Sunwoo had never been like this. This Sunwoo was not the same Sunwoo he knew. “Good luck, Sunwoo-ah.” –He whispered softly when he could no longer saw him.
Sunwoo walked soullessly along the corridor, having nowhere to go. His mind repeated the same scenario happened the other day, the words came out from Haknyeon.
“For once, can you be real with me?”
Because the real me is so much of a coward. The real me loves you so much that it is hurt. But I can’t possibly say that. I am sorry
When the last class ended, Sunwoo waited for the others to leave first before packing his bag and walked outside. From a far, he saw the older, talking while smiling at the senior next to him. However, the smile he wore was not the same bright smile he used to have.
Are you okay or is it because you’re just very good at pretending?
Sunwoo wanted to talk to the older but stopped abruptly, thinking whether it was a good decision. He pondered on what to do and decided to just wait there for a few minutes. Only after the two left, Sunwoo proceeded to go home.
Sunwoo entered his house and went to his room. He threw his bag somewhere in the room and flopped down on the bed, screaming loudly. He was frustrated due to of his own stupidity. He ran away when he got the chance to correct thing.
I can’t even face him. Let alone talk to him.
He got up into a sitting position, head turning to look outside the window just next to his bed. From this distance, he could see the older in his room. With them being neighbors, Sunwoo was lucky too that their rooms were just beside each other. This way, Sunwoo could look at the older whenever he missed him but in a good way.
He looked at his phone, missing the times when his notifications were all full of Haknyeon’s cute messages, greeting him with cute stickers and emoticons. He missed talking with the older, eating with him, joking with him, cooking with him, to be near him. He really missed him. It have been two weeks now. He just couldn’t move on.
“…Just don’t wait too long or you’ll regret it.”
Sunwoo quickly stood up. The same words from Hyunjoon flashed in his mind.
Right. I can’t no longer wait. It’s kind of late already but…
It is now or never.
Sunwoo was determined. He rushed out of his room, running passed his mother who got startled by his son’s behavior, frowning in confusion. Sunwoo knocked on the door, greeting Haknyeon’s mother liked his own. “Is Haknyeon hyung upstairs?” –He asked even though he already knew it. Mrs. Joo nodded, urging him to go upstairs and said gently, “I am not going to question about whatever happened between you two but I hope you guys can make a right decision.”
Sunwoo smiled reassuringly. “I will try not to disappoint you.” With that, he walked upstairs, slowly opened the door and entered the elder’s room quietly. The older was lying down on the bed, facing the window. Sunwoo felt himself getting teary. He walked closer and he too lied down on the bed, daring himself to hug the older in his arms.
Haknyeon got startled at the sudden action. He tried to break free from the hug but stopped when he felt his back getting wet. The sound of someone’s sobbing could be heard in the quiet room. “I am sorry… I was wrong. I didn’t mean all the things I said to you.” Sunwoo dragged Haknyeon closer to his chest, nuzzling his nose at the crook of the elder’s neck, sniffing the sweet scent of the older.
“I miss you…so much, hyung. So much that it is hurt.” Whenever Sunwoo referred Hakyeon as a hyung, the older knew Sunwoo really meant it so Haknyeon just kept quiet to let the younger continued but it seemed like Sunwoo took it in the wrong way that he apologized. “I-I know it’s not fair for you. I was being such an asshole because I was jealous.”
Haknyeon widened his eyes in shocked that he unconsciously tensed up. Sunwoo was quiet for a second, biting his lips to stop himself from breaking down when the older didn’t reply and the sudden stiffness of the older worried him. “H-Hyung, why don’t you say anything?”
“What do you say?” –Haknyeon asked softly, turning around to look at the younger. The younger’s eyes were red and the tears kept on falling down on the pillows. Haknyeon wiped the tears away with his thumb, softly caressing the other’s cheek.
“I-I was jealous. You were laughing happily with other guy that was not me. I have never felt this way about anyone but I am sure this feeling is real.” –Sunwoo said, taking a hold of the elder’s hand on his cheek and kissed it.
“I love you, Haknyeon-ah.” –Sunwoo whispered those three words so gently near Haknyeon’s ear. “I am sorry I am taking too long to say this to you. I don’t mind if you reject me but please don’t ignore me.” Sunwoo waited patiently, watching as Haknyeon’s eyes glistened with tears.
“Idiot! Why would I reject you?” –Haknyeon stated, chuckling lightly. “I love you too, Sun-ah. I have always love you.” Sunwoo’s cheeks turned pink. He couldn’t help but to blush. “A-Are you serious?” –Sunwoo asked, feeling unsure. Haknyeon nodded his head, eyes never leaving the other.
Am I dreaming? D-Did Haknyeon just…
He finally got to hear those three words from Haknyeon back at him. He was so happy that he hugged the life out of Haknyeon, only stopping when the older whimpered in pain.
“Hey! Are you trying to kill me?” Haknyeon lightly hit the younger once Sunwoo loosened his hug. He sat on the bed, pouting his lips. Sunwoo guiltily smiled, getting up as well. “Sorry, I was too excited. But, what about Jaehyun hyung?” Sunwoo gave the older his attention and frowned slightly.
“What about him?” –Haknyeon questioned before realization hit him. “There is nothing going on between us. We’re just friends. I wanted to tell you that before but you interrupted me and you were so mad.” Haknyeon grabbed Sunwoo’s hand in his, loving the way how they felt just right.
“I am sorry too that I lied to you. I shouldn’t have too but Jaehyun hyung told me to keep it as a secret. He was trying to make Juyeon hyung jealous but guess what? It seemed like someone else got jealous instead.” Haknyeon giggled once he said the last sentence. Sunwoo was left speechless, making a face at him and bluntly said, “It is not my fault that I love you too much that I get jealous.”
Haknyeon was flustered, blushing furiously at Sunwoo’s words. Sunwoo was being too straightforward. He was not used to this side of Sunwoo. Sunwoo had always been so secretive and never speak his mind out loud. His heartbeat so fast that he thought he was going to die.
"I can't stop thinking about you. There is only you in my mind that I can’t think straight and hurt you instead.” Sunwoo looked at Haknyeon with his eyes full of love and gentleness. The beautiful brown orbs stared back at him.
“Haknyeon-ah, will you be my boyfriend?” –Sunwoo whispered the words oh –so –sweetly that Haknyeon’s heart melted so he nodded his head, saying yes repeatedly, hugging Sunwoo’s neck.
When Haknyeon loosened the hug, Sunwoo’s face was so close with his. He half-smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but stopped a hairbreadth from his lips. "Can I kiss you?" –Sunwoo asked softly and swooped in before he could do anything but gasp.
Their shared memories flavored the kiss, with a tenderness and a promise of new memories. He broke away, breathing hard. He felt so great right now. The feeling he felt right now couldn’t be compared to the feeling he felt when he won the soccer competition.
Sunwoo loved this moment so much. But among all the things he loved in the world, the boy in his embraced was the one he loved the most.
I love you, Haknyeon.
Bonus
Sunwoo was lying on his stomach, watching Haknyeon’s every movements from the bed. Haknyeon could literally felt eyes burned on his back so he turned around and looked at the younger. “Why are you here, Sun-ah? You never come at time like this.”
Sunwoo got up and walked towards Haknyeon, lowering himself so he was in the same level with Haknyeon’s position. "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses." He then leaned in to kiss Haknyeon on the lips shortly and smiled innocently.
He grabbed Haknyeon’s hand and dragged him to sit on the bed. He hugged the elder’s side, nuzzling his face at the crook of Haknyeon’s neck. "You smell nice." Haknyeon giggled a littleas Sunwoo tickled his side.
"I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you." –Sunwoo said, sighing in content. “Stop it! You’re so cheesy.” Haknyeon pushed Sunwoo’s face away, cringing so hard and smiling sheepishly.
“What? You want me to be real with you. This is me being real.” With that he pecked Haknyeon’s cheek and lying on the bed with his head on Haknyeon’s lap. “I don’t know you’re capable of being sweet but this is okay.” –Haknyeon said, carding his fingers through Sunwoo’s hair. Looking up to face his boyfriend, he smiled. “I love you, Haknyeon-ah.”
Boyfriend. It sounded nice in his ear.
A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face.