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jiwoo had known from the start that the move to new york would be challenging. hell, even the process to even be considered in seoul national’s exchange program for the second semester of her senior year in college was hard enough! it’d been a long shot to even make it through the first round of applications. jiwoo considers it all but a miracle to even be one of twenty students accepted into the program.
the news brought jiwoo to tears. she opened the acceptance email in the middle of her film score and composition studies class and promptly started to bawl. long story short, they let her leave class early to… get herself together. even then, she spent the last fifteen minutes of class standing outside in the hallway, still wailing.
after class let out, jeon heejin from the year below her had come running to her side. she already knew what the commotion was all about, but it didn’t make this any less—awkward and troublesome to handle.
(“why are you like this?” she asked her exasperatedly, ushering the older girl to a table in the corner, “you’re crying like someone just died in a car accident! my god, get it together, jiwoo!”
“i... i-i... i’m just... i’m just so—so happy!”
“yah, are you really going to be okay in new york by yourself if you’re like this?”
“d-don’t be m-mean to me!” jiwoo wailed in between her sobs, “i’m—i’m s-sensitive!”)
it took heejin an hour to finally calm her down. when her tears finally stopped, jiwoo was able to drink her hot chocolate without shaking while they talked about her plans for the exchange program. excitedly, jiwoo talked about broadway and how she had heard so many fun stories about people she knew who had visited new york before and all the places to see and things to do. heejin gave her undivided attention.
“when do you have to leave? we should throw you a goodbye party before you go.”
“probably after the new year! i just need to—wait. a… a goodbye party? oh my god—“
and then it dawned on jiwoo: she would have to eventually say goodbye and part ways with her friends for half a year.
it took heejin another hour to calm down jiwoo’s second round of sobbing.
the goodbye party had been a combination of christmas and new years all rolled into one last hurrah for jiwoo. jiwoo’s senior from the music department, haseul, had let their friends throw the extravaganza at her home (thankfully and fortunately unoccupied during the holidays) with the promise of providing enough drinks to make them as jolly as they could get. one of haseul’s girlfriend, sooyoung, even went the extra mile to bring in kegs of something for everyone to enjoy too.
“what did you—hic,“ jiwoo hiccuped as soon as she set her empty solo cup down on the counter, “what did you say?”
sooyoung laughed, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she threw back the shot of tequila in her hands and reached for another. “i don’t know—what did i say?”
they both stood there laughing at each other, completely unaware of what they had been talking about. it was like the entire party was starting to become a blur to jiwoo. all she wanted to do in that moment was party hard, let loose, and spend her time with her friends.
she mingled with everyone. jiwoo loved all of her friends, so she did her best trying to spend her time with everyone equally. she took at least five shots of tequila and something she hadn’t caught the name of with sooyoung, squandered her way over to where haseul and her other girlfriend jinsoul were playing just dance in the living room to try and follow along with them with wobbly legs and dizzy vision, downed a whole solo cup’s worth of the punch that jinsoul made while blindfolded at the beginning of the party, then made her stop over with heejin who had been chatting to a girl she didn’t know.
the party was over when everyone had somehow their way together in the middle of haseul’s sun room, piled one by one on top of each other on the floor. they laid there with red faces and headaches starting to set in, but there was no mistake in everyone passing out for the night with smiles on their faces.
jiwoo woke up the next morning with the biggest hangover in her life. if this is how everyone was planning on sending her off, then she would surely let it happen again. (maybe without whatever the punch jinsoul made. or the kegs that had sooyoung’s name all over them.)
packing the last of her things had been the breaking point. the weight of leaving home to fly across the ocean and live thousands and thousands of miles away from her friends and family had finally hit jiwoo the night before her flight. she taped up the last box of personal belongings she was going to send out tomorrow morning on her way out and sat on the floor of her bedroom.
it was nearly empty, save for her bedding and a number of desk items she decided she could leave at home. she would come right back here to this place once her exchange was over, but that seemed so far away from tonight.
sleep didn’t come easy for jiwoo that night. she had barely gotten any rest. as soon as her alarm went off, she had no problem getting out of bed and getting dressed—a truly bizarre occurrence, considering jiwoo was always the type to sleep in to the last minute and rush out of the house.
the drive to incheon airport was one of the most painful experiences in her life. jiwoo was awfully sentimental and she had memories associated with practically everything. she felt sorry she couldn’t say goodbye to the tteokbokki aunties who wouldn’t see her for the next six months, the nice grandpa in the convenience store that would let her sneak in an extra piece of candy in her pocket every time she was getting snacks, the little boy in the house across the street from her elementary school that she would babysit on the weekends who would have to find a new friend to play with.
she sighed deeply as she got out of the car. incheon airport was lively and busy as ever. jiwoo swore she saw a cluster of fans surrounding one of the other entrances and tried to get her dad to slow the car down so she could see who it was, but was thoroughly disappointed when it was just a famous male actor coming back home to korea.
her parents stayed with her for as long as they could. jiwoo still had half an hour to kill before boarding, but she made time to sit down with her mom and dad on a small bench in a waiting area and squeeze in between them. this was the last time she could cuddle with them before she had to go. her parents appreciated the gesture, and wished her well as they said their goodbyes.
there was no one there to tell her to stop crying and to quit being a crybaby, so she had to do it to herself. jiwoo tried not to cry while watching their retreating backs.
she had been on planes before, but going by herself was something she hadn’t experienced yet. jiwoo had shouted “thank you you too!” energetically at the flight attendant checking her board pass and carry on at the gate. she dragged a hand down her face once she passed the doors, realizing how dumb and lame that exchange was. there was no reason to say “you too” to a flight attendant just doing their job. what was she going to do, check their boarding pass?
jiwoo groaned as she looked around for her seat. luckily this airline allowed the passengers to pick their seats on a first-come, first-serve basis. she had been stuck in the middle of the line back at the board gate, so the plane was just crowded enough to make choosing a seat difficult but not full enough to leave her any undesirable seats as her only options.
there was an empty row by one of the back corners. not ideal for jiwoo, but she would have to make do. she stuffed her carry-on backpack under the seat as she made herself comfortable. or, well, as comfortable as an airplane could be. it really wasn’t all that great.
it was several minutes until the last of the boarding passengers made their way to their seats. jiwoo didn’t notice anyone coming in her direction until the very end, when a girl with bleached blonde hair excused herself and sat down next to her. she tried not to stare at her, and kept her gaze focused on the window to her side, but she caught herself turning her head more than once.
“it’s pretty packed, huh?” the blonde girl asked casually. maybe she wanted to make small talk.
“y-yeah,” jiwoo laughed nervously. she raised a hand to scratch her cheek. “where are you going?”
“new york.”
“oh—me too!”
there was a small smile on the blonde girl’s face. jiwoo felt her shoulders relax. there was an overwhelming sense of relief that washed over her as soon as she and the blonde girl started to talk more. they whispered to each other as the flight attendants checked everyone’s seats and told them about the safety procedures over the intercom, commenting on an attendant’s hair style or agreeing that the airline’s uniform was dead ass ugly.
jiwoo found herself more focused on the way the other girl’s lips moved while they talked. she found out that her name was jungeun, and she was actually gong to be studying abroad too. surprisingly they were both from seoul national university, but the school was so large that they had never met each other before. jungeun was a film major, whereas jiwoo was a theater major. they were, as jiwoo put it, “adjacent” majors; there were enough similarities in their art forms but different enough that they belonged in two different parts of campus. jungeun had applied for the same exchange program jiwoo did.
“so, like, what are you planning to do?” jiwoo asked, munching away on the cookies the flight attendants had given them a moment ago. “when you get to new york, i mean.”
there wasn’t a response right away. jiwoo had been busy snacking and looking out the window for a moment, so she couldn’t tell what jungeun was doing. as soon as she felt a heavy weight on her shoulder, ripping her attention away from the window.
jungeun was asleep. looking at her wristwatch, jiwoo almost gasped seeing the time. they had been on the plane for hours now, and she hadn’t realized the time. the sky was still bright, so she hadn’t suspected it was so late in korean time. jungeun’s body must be used to falling asleep at 9pm.
jiwoo couldn’t help but stare. the other girl had made her flight much more comfortable and made killing the time so much easier. talking to jungeun, jiwoo felt like time wasn’t real—or like it didn’t exist. it was easier to ignore everything around them and only focus on the way jungeun would laugh at a dumb joke or a stupid pun, focus on the way jungeun would play with the ends of her hair when she got bashful, the way she would look away when jiwoo tried to be cheeky.
she wasn’t able to keep her eyes off of her that whole time. and now? jungeun was asleep on her shoulder and jiwoo didn’t have the heart to move her away. they still had half a day’s work of flying left. they weren’t going to be landing any time soon. wouldn’t it be fine for jungeun to get some rest on this long flight?
wiggling around in her seat for a moment, jiwoo adjusted herself so that she could comfortably have jungeun lean on her while she leaned on the window. jungeun hadn’t stirred once since she fell asleep, and jiwoo was determined to let it stay that way. jungeun mentioned that she had been pulling all-nighters the week leading up to this flight, focused on studying her film composition theories and various native new york directors until she had to go. the thought of jungeun studying hard with the intensity in her eyes and the books opened out in front of her wholeheartedly endeared jiwoo.
she wanted to see that side of jungeun herself. jiwoo wondered how likely that would be—new york city was big, like seoul. if they couldn’t even find each other on campus, how could they possibly run into each other again in one of the largest american cities?
it would take some courage, but before falling asleep jiwoo promised to herself that the first thing she would do when she woke up would be to ask for jungeun’s phone number. jungeun didn’t seem like she would oppose it. it seemed like a good idea.
her eyes fluttered close. jiwoo rested her head gently atop of the other girl’s as she let sleep take her. she dreamed of city lights and broadway stages, of study dates in the library and hanging out in late night cafes with the girl next to her on the plane.
jiwoo snuggled closer to jungeun. she felt jungeun lean in, too.
“don’t let me down, new york…”