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Kaito was not in love. Kaito sighs, running his hand through his slick long hair, forgetting to buy one of the newest hair gels in town. He swears to himself. Why is he so damn forgetful? He's also forgotten to buy groceries for himself, but, maybe he can do it some other time.
He starts walking to the university. It was just on the way here. He's met new friends, had relationships that ended amicably and quite well, and there's the exams he's always passed. Kaito was quite proud of his grades, and would always show it to his grandparents once he's connected to them via FaceTime.
But his parents never seem to think about him and his achievements, even when he keeps showing them his grades.
Many thoughts encircle Kaito's mind whenever he gets a hit of his parents' ignorance towards his achievements. They were always busy, perhaps that was why they let their grandparents take care of Kaito, maybe that was why he was so optimistic and cheerful at times.
What if they don't care about me?
What if they think of me as a nuisance?
What if they don't love me?
These thoughts always circle around Kaito's mind, bearing significance that maybe, just maybe, they didn't want him. They didn't want him to be their son, their child, a part of their bloodline. That he was just as good as adopted?
The thoughts sting, and he'd always break down before he even takes a moment to collect himself. He'd cry himself to sleep at night with these thoughts, these haunted thoughts. But he has to collect himself, because he was not in his apartment. He was not in his home.
Kaito wipes the tears away from his eyes, looking around if someone had seen him done that, but no one made a move. He sighs in relief. He shouldn't cry. He can't cry. Only people with problems cry. He does not have a problem in his life. Nothing.
"Kaito!"
Okay, maybe one.
Kaito smiles as he engulfs the smaller man into a tight hug, making the other choke and hack. Shuichi Saihara, the man who was making Kaito feel conflicted about himself, feel conflicted about his feelings and his attraction to gender.
Is he in love?
Kaito shakes that thought away, thinking that thought to be too stupid and hindering.
They walk in a comfortable pace to the university, exchanging tales of sorts to each other, each of them laughing comfortably. As Kaito walks on, he notices that Shuichi was starting to swoon.
"Hey man, are you okay?", Kaito asks.
"I'm- I'm fine", Shuichi replies, clutching his abdomen. Kaito follows the movement, the limping, the heavy breathing, and all that shit.
He and Saihara met in an unconditional circumstance; Shuichi was crying on the floor of a bathroom stall, holding a binder, and Kaito looked at him in bewilderment. After that little misadventure, he'd always guide the troubled boy wherever he went.
"How long have you been wearing the binder?", Kaito asks.
"Um, since yesterday?" Shuichi looks at him with an awkward face, wanting to get as far as him as possible. But Kaito looks at him with a worried look.
"Hey. Let's go to the bathroom and you can remove it while I keep watch." Shuichi nods, and they set off to the nearest bathroom.
Kaito locks the door while Shuichi runs to the first stall, leaving Kaito with his thoughts alone. He hates being alone with his thoughts. He thinks too much. He feels too much. He sees too much. It'd only be a matter of time before he'd have a breakdown in front of everyone. He shudders at the thought of it.
"Um, Kaito?", the voice of Shuichi makes Kaito's head perk out from Dream Land. Kaito stands straight, his entire posture stiff, trying to let Shuichi know that he was all right. "We're going to be late to class."
Kaito smiles, relieved and happy, and gives a thumbs up. They walk together until class separates them, and their happiness turns to dread and fear at what their grades are going to be for this semester. He hates the feeling of letting his parents down. He remembered the one time his grades lowered ever so slightly, his mother had threatened to disown him and his father had hit him.
Kaito runs away from his classroom, his face filled with indignance and anger, and everyone who encounters him leaps out of the way like he was some kind of asteroid heading for collision. His grades in this subject had plummeted; god, what was he going to tell his parents?
He finally calms down and finds an abandoned stair case, and, lowering himself, he feels tears welling up in his eyes. It was the first time his grades had ever plummeted so low. Kaito worked so hard into fulfilling the classes he was into.
He sits on a step and puts his head on his hands, and start to cry, fear and sadness creeping through him. He loved his parents. He didn't want to disappoint them. He didn't want to get hit by them. The grip on his report card was oddly light, to refrain from earning it crumples and marks.
"Kaito?" He stops and stiffens, his pride was swelling and breaking apart. Oh god. He looks up, and he sees Shuichi with parted lips, standing before him. Kaito immediately stops his melancholic episodes, but he already knows that Shuichi has caught on. He already knows that he was so weak.
"Sorry you saw me like that, Shuichi", Kaito says, avoiding eye contact, looking at the ground like it had wronged him. "I was... just crying about my grades."
"Why would you cry over something as little as that?" Shuichi sits beside Kaito, much to his bemusement and he scoots away.
"Little?!" Kaito exclaims. "It's a big problem! It's a really, really big problem, and I have a problem with it because my parents will kick me out..." He buries his face in his hands again, and Shuichi leans over to comfort him.
"Hey, Kaito, look at me." Kaito forces himself to look at Shuichi, who had a little comforting smile on his face. "It's all right. Fuck them if they want to kick someone who's much more amazing than them."
Kaito manages to smile at that little comment, and again, gives Shuichi the strongest hug he can muster through his sad state.
He's definitely in love.