Chapter Text
When Rey creates a mental wall between Kylo and her, she believes that it won’t stand for too long. The Resistance is searching for a new base; they have no home, and it doesn’t help the situation. Besides, every day needs her life energy. Rey is hope for survivors, and a former scavenger has no time for relaxing. Keeping the mental wall needs her constant attention, and Rey feels exhausted in the end of every day.
At first it seems like the wall between them is getting thicker. Rey feels how Kylo is trying to get into her head; she feels how he’s touching this invisible, but dense barrier, searching for cracks. It scares her, but Rey drives fear away - her fear only simplifies Kylo’s problem.
She won’t give up, no matter how much it costs.
Therewith, she has Luke now. His ghost seems to be almost real, and the girl breathes a sigh of relief after seeing him for the first time. It looks like Luke isn’t even offended with Rey for taking his books. He’s happy about it now, and the Jedi Master continues teaching her, explaining the moments that Rey can’t understand.
Everything is getting better. Easier. The Resistance finally gets a new home. Luckily, their new planet doesn’t look like Jakku, and Rey spends hours outside, meditating and breathing fresh wet air. Luke’s lessons help Rey find her Force, and the mental barrier is getting stronger. She still can see Kylo’s attempts to break the wall, but Rey knows than Ren won’t be able to do anything. Rey doesn’t have doubts about her gift now, and Kylo knows that too. Just like Luke.
“The border between your minds is strong, you just need to get used to it. Don’t worry about the wall,” Luke praises his apprentice, giving Rey hope that she needs.
And this hope is so sweet because nobody knows what it costs Rey to keep her mind save from the Resistance’s main enemy.
“Do you visit him too?” Rey asks Luke one day.
There’s a wild glitter seen in Jedi’s eyes.
“What do you think?” he asks back.
One month passes by, then another one, and Rey stops feeling Kylo’s presence behind this invisible wall. It scares her a little, but she persuades herself to forget about fear, because fear is a step toward Kylo’s side.
Rey forgets that at night, when she lets herself to relax a little, her mental shield melts, and the wall between them is getting thin, transparent, almost mild by touch. Falling asleep, Rey forgets that her dreams can belong to someone else.
Rey’s mind whispers her that it’s unreal, but this whisper is too quiet to hear it.
She’s at home, on Jakku, inside of her old walker. Rey looks around and realizes that nothing has changed here since her departure. Or, maybe, she just has never left Jakku, that’s all? Rey doesn’t know the answer.
She touches the spinebarrell that has lost a few petals, then finds her old toy and finally notices thousands of scratches that count days of her living on Jakku. Rey inhales deeply. The air is hot. Sweat is dripping down her temple and chin, and then crossing her neck, leaving wet salty line. The wind has chapped her lips, and Rey gets metallic taste in her mouth taste along with sand in her throat. Yeah, she’s home…
Somebody knocks the door.
Rey turns and finally realizes that the room is filled with darkness. Why couldn’t she see that earlier? Rey is frowning, trying to remember something really important, but another knock on the door makes her forget about it. Maybe, it’s just a sand storm, and it’s trying to get inside of her house. Yeah, it explains the darkness and the closed door.
Rey feels how her anxiety is fading. Her heartbeat returns to normal.
A new knock, much stronger this time. No, not stronger – it’s more persistent. Rey stares at the door, trying to understand what’s going on.
And then someone screams out her name.
“Rey!” this voice is almost hidden behind the rotten door and the sound of the wind. “Rey, we need you to open the door!”
We? Rey’s heart misses a beat and begins pounding so hard that it’s almost painful.
It can’t be…
“Rey!” somebody cries again, and this voice is strained.
Kylo said that her parents died, and Rey always knew it, she just didn’t want to accept the ugly truth, but…
“Rey, open the door!”
She bits her lip, and the metallic taste in her mouth is getting stronger. What if Kylo actually lied to her? Somehow Rey wants to believe that she still has parents and they’ve been searching for her all this time. She still wants to believe that she has hope.
“Rey!”
Who is that? She has no friends here. It can’t be… They can’t… they just can’t…
“Rey, open the door!”
What the heck! Rey starts running, keeping an eye on the door. The picture is blurring, but she keeps watching, as if she’s afraid to lose sight of it. It’s real, everything is real…
“Rey!”
What if it’s her parents? They’re back! Rey’s body is shaking. She keeps running, forgetting how small her room actually is. The distance between her and the door is turning into endless and dark corridor, but Rey has no time to think about it. Her mind is busy with thoughts about her parents.
“REY!”
“Mom!” she cries back. Rey doesn’t know why she’s pronouncing it, but she wants to say something back. Rey doesn’t know who’s waiting at the door, but her mind is painting blurred shapes that look so familiar.
“REY!!!”
“MOM!” Rey cries again after hearing another knock. This sound is so loud that she wants to cover her ears. She’s gripping with sweat, but Rey keeps running, trying to reach her destination.
Rey still can hear knocks when she runs to the door and finally opens it. Sand and hot air are slapping Rey in her face, and it’s almost knocking her down. Rey looks around, but doesn’t see anybody. The endless desert is surrounding her from all sides. There’s no one here.
Just her.
It brings tears to her eyes. Rey inhales deeply, trying to calm down, but it doesn’t help. She is standing here, leaning against the door and trying to persuade herself that she can’t cry. She needs to pull herself together. She must go inside and stop believing in fairytales.
But it doesn’t help. Rey is sobbing, wiping her tears with a sleeve of her dress. Her heart is pounding, and it seems that it can jump out of her chest…
… Rey wakes up, sitting up; her clothes sweaty, tears streaming down her face. She breathes heavily, trying to relax, trying to swallow sand’s taste that has stuck in her mouth. Here, in real world, air feels different, and it must wash away this sand, but it doesn’t help.
Somewhere inside of her head Rey can hear Kylo’s quiet laugher.