Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In Daesung High, there were two people most everyone knew:

Park Jimin, and the boy Park Jimin loved to pick on.

To say the least, the two of them both stood out, each in their own ways. Jimin wasn't tall, per say, but his aura and the way he dressed gave him the impression of towering over just about anyone he looked upon. Fiery orange hair, dark, menacing brown eyes and an entirely black wardrobe from the leather jackets and boots to his belts and cotton t-shirts. The girls loved him. The guys envied him. Well, some did. Some found his presence quite unpleasant, and others were intimidated by him and would avoid him at all costs. No one ever confronted him. They feared they would become a target, just like that pastel-wearing boy who Jimin never left alone.

Even people who didn't know the boy's name knew of him, some by his distinct appearance, others by the nickname "pastel boy" used by just about everyone. Even Jimin. The boy, Min Yoongi, could always be found wearing some type of light-colored sweater, usually white or a coffee-ish brown, but several times he had come to school wearing a sweater to match the shade of his mint-green hair, and even one to compliment the natural blush on his otherwise pale cheeks.

He always had on a pair of round glasses, and when he held books out in front of him to read, you could see the way his slim wrists drowned in his sleeves. When at the library, he sat at a small table with another boy who was his close friend, and occasionally they would be joined by several others. But not even there, in the "peaceful" atmosphere of the library, could Yoongi truly be at peace. He was always found. Park Jimin always found him.

And Jimin would always find ways to bother the pastel boy.

Once, he pulled out Yoongi's chair just as the boy was about to sit down.

He tore out pages of Yoongi's notebooks and even wrote in some, teasing comments and childish insults that weren't really insulting, but annoying all the same.

Countless times he brushed by Yoongi purposely in the halls just to make him drop his books, and under his breath Jimin would chuckle spitefully as he watched Yoongi drop to the floor to pick them up.

These were just a few things. But it seemed that just when Yoongi thought all of Jimin's tricks were beginning to be recycled, something new would surface. Nothing physically harmful, at least not to a strong degree, but again, annoying all the same. One day as Yoongi was preparing to purchase a drink from the vending machine in the school cafeteria, Jimin came up at the last second and snatched his coins from him, then used them to purchase a drink of his own. And this especially bothered Yoongi since he couldn't bear to go a day without his favorite drink, and so he had to trouble his friend Hoseok for some money.

But Yoongi never complained. At least not verbally.

To an onlooker, the pastel boy couldn't have looked more unbothered. Then again, no one could really know for sure how Yoongi felt about being targeted by the most intimidating boy at school, but he sure seemed not to give a crap. Perhaps that was another reason he drew attention. His attitude. The innocent-looking pastel boy, quiet in nature, 90% of the time in his own world, paid little mind to his bully, the school's infamous "bad boy."

That only fueled Jimin's rage. The feeling of being ignored, disregarded by this little pastel-wearing seventeen-year-old who probably thought he was "all that" and who didn't have time enough to waste to even speak to Jimin, not even a 'hey, watch where you're going' or 'leave me alone.' And perhaps it wouldn't have been so frustrating if he got at least some kind of reaction, of fear, anger, shock, anything. But there was nothing, not even a second-long glance to link the flames of Jimin's eyes with whatever was in Yoongi's.

Jimin didn't even know what color Yoongi's eyes were. And he had never heard his voice, either, because even when the pastel boy was within sight and Jimin could see his mouth moving, his words were uttered so softly, too softly, that it didn't sound as though he was speaking at all.

It was almost unsatisfying to bully him. But Jimin stuck with it, because he was Park Jimin, and Park Jimin wasn't about to let his pride deflate by allowing this boy who had been ignoring him for so long to just be off the hook.

And, perhaps, there was another reason for his relentlessness in targeting the pastel boy that he wasn't fully aware of. Maybe it was the way Yoongi dressed. Or, again, the fact Yoongi deliberately ignored him. Or maybe it was because of the rumor that had gone around the school that the pastel boy was gay.

And so was Park Jimin. Except none but one else knew it, and none but that one other had ever even suspected it.

And if Jimin could do something about it, no one else ever would.

It didn't seem like a challenging task. Keeping up his unjust treatment against the pastel boy, his usual scowls and sneers and malicious laughter. Yoongi irked him. So finding motivation to ruin his day was easy. It should have always been easy. But things began to change the day Jimin pushed the bar too far.

Things changed the day Park Jimin took an extreme initiative just to get the pastel boy to meet his gaze.

Chapter Text

On a Saturday that seemed like any other, Jimin stopped by a local coffeeshop for a morning wake-up call - that's what the beverage he almost always ordered was called. Wake-up Call: coffee with two shots of espresso but enough cream and sugar to balance out the bitterness. He didn't like bitter things. But of course, whenever he saw people he recognized in the vicinity, Jimin would order something different, or simply tell the barista to give the beverage an extra shot of espresso or less cream and sugar. He hated those days. Because he loved sugar, but he had an image to keep.

Today was a lucky day, though. When Jimin walked through the door of The Golden Spoon, he saw not a single student who went to Daesung High, nor a relative, nor a single soul who he knew or who knew him, save the baristas who saw Jimin as a regular. And so he approached the front counter with a sliver of excitement in his chest.

"Hi, could I get a medium Wake-up Call? Extra cream and sugar."

After placing his order and paying at the register, Jimin made his way to the receiving end of the counter where he waited for his drink. He took out his phone, mindlessly scrolling through various social media apps he didn't really care about. He just wanted something to do while he waited. A minute passed. A soft 'ding' sounded, signifying a new customer had just entered the shop. Jimin made an uncaring glance towards the door.

The boy who entered was wearing a pearl-white sweater, high-top white sneakers, faded jeans torn slightly at the knee, and of course, his round, thin-framed glasses.

The pastel boy.

He was the last person Jimin expected to see this morning. Being someone who came here all the time, it was rare for Jimin to see a new face at all. But Yoongi, of all people.

"One medium Wake-up Call, extra cream, extraaaaa sugar!"

Jimin flinched at the sound of his order being announced. His head swiveled around towards the counter, and there he found the cheeky barista who had taken his order placing his coffee in front of him.

"Pleasure servin' ya, Park Jimin."

It was only at the mention of that name that Yoongi raised his head. With the glint on his glasses and the distance from Jimin he was standing, Jimin couldn't quite see Yoongi's eyes, nor if there were any trace of panic or shock in them. But regardless he expected Yoongi to run. Knowing now that he was here, Jimin fully expected to see the pastel boy scrambling to get away from him to avoid any potential incidents.

But he didn't.

Yoongi didn't do anything to suggest he was alarmed or bothered by Jimin's being here. Instead, he continued towards the counter, casual as casual could be.

"I'd like to try the Wake-up Call, please. Just a small is fine."

Jimin gripped the sleeve of his jacket as he watched Yoongi converse with the same barista who had served him.

"Haven't seen you here before," the barista said with a smile. "Could I have a name for your order?"

"Yoongi."

"Nice name. I'm Taehyung. Mind if I ask what school ya go to? I mean, I'm assuming you're still in school."

"Daesung High."

"Ah, same as Jimin, then."

Jimin clenched his fist tighter, raising his other hand to take a sip of his coffee.

"What school do you go to?"

"Yejun."

"That's close to Daesung, isn't it?"

"Yeah, pretty close I think. Ah, sorry, I'm supposed to be making your order." Chuckling to himself, Taehyung spun around and made his way over to the machine to grind the beans for Yoongi's coffee. He pressed a couple buttons and called back, "This is what Jimin orders almost every time he's here. Did he recommend this place to ya?"

"No, actually I used to go to this other coffeeshop in the area but it closed down recently. I'm hoping this is a good substitute."

"Oh, snap, that sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope we're a good substitute, too."

A few moments later and Taehyung was handing Yoongi's drink to him over the counter rather than at the other end where Jimin received his. Perhaps he had done so because Jimin hadn't moved, or because he figured Yoongi didn't know that was where the orders were usually placed.

"Take a sip and lemme know what ya think of it."

So Yoongi did just that. After removing the lid and blowing gently at the surface of the drink, Yoongi took a slow, careful sip of his coffee, then licked his lips.

"It's good."

"How good?" Taehyung asked excitedly. "Like, on a scale of five stars?"

"Four. I'm impressed."

"Really?? Well, I'm glad." He beamed.

"Mm. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Yoongi."

"What'd you say your name was again?"

"Taehyung."

"Would you be weirded out if I said you're cute, Taehyung?"

Jimin's ear twitched.

"Weirded out??" The barista laughed. "Why would I be weirded out? A compliment's a compliment. Even if I wasn't gay, I'd still be flattered."

Yoongi hummed and took another sip of his Wake-up Call.

"Well, thanks again, Taehyung."

"You're welcome, Yoongi. See ya around!"

"Mm."

It was an odd, disgusting feeling. In his ears, in his stomach, in the scowl that settled on Jimin's brow unbeknownst to him. This was the first he heard Yoongi's voice, and, though low in tone, it spoke so softly and pleasantly to a stranger. Jimin wouldn't even deny it: it was downright frustrating, and he was sick of it. Sick of the pastel boy's disrespect towards him, sick of the ignorance. Jimin watched with eyes ablaze as Yoongi silently exited the coffeeshop.

He went after him.

Leaving his coffee behind, Jimin rushed out of The Golden Spoon and caught up to Yoongi before the boy had even turned the corner. Jimin seized him by the back of his sweater, catching him off guard and causing him to drop his coffee, spilling it all over the sidewalk. Jimin didn't care. Why would he care? All he cared about right now was knocking some sense into this ignorant little boy.

Conveniently they were near an ally, but had they not been, Jimin would have dragged the pastel boy as far as it took to find one. Between a barber shop and an old music store Jimin shoved Yoongi against the brick wall, fingers now tightly gripping the boy's collar as their faces were inches apart.

Even still Yoongi wasn't looking at him. Rather, his head was turned downwards on an angle so that his narrow-eyed gaze fell on the ground to the right of where Jimin stood.

"You little brat."

Through gritted teeth Jimin breathed deep breaths of anger, and when Yoongi still would not move, he gave the boy a forceful shake.

"Do you think you're too above me to look at me??" He scoffed. "What is wrong with you?!"

His rage burned hotter by the second. The longer Yoongi stared unblinkingly at the ground, Jimin felt his blood boil and before long he couldn't take it. And so with his free hand he grabbed Yoongi's face, nails pressing deep into the boy's soft, pale cheeks. Jimin forced him to raise his head. But still, Yoongi was not looking at him.

"Speak."

Nothing. Jimin dug his nails deeper into Yoongi's skin, deeper into Yoongi's cheeks, as he continued to breathe out his frustration, wanting to yell louder but he couldn't or he'd risk drawing nearby unwanted attention.

For a brief moment Jimin let loose his hold on Yoongi's collar so that he could tear away the boy's glasses, and he threw them to the ground right where Yoongi's eyes were directed. And Jimin crushed them. He crushed them beneath his leather boots with not but a shred of remorse.

That is, until Yoongi at last met his gaze.

By that point Jimin's nails had just drawn blood from Yoongi's face, small drops of crimson rolling down his fingers. One drop even fell on Yoongi's white sweater. But neither he nor Jimin noticed. Because now their eyes were locked.

Yoongi's eyes were a beautiful russet brown.

He didn't know why he did it, but at that moment Jimin tore his hand away from Yoongi, and he took a step back. But he didn't leave. He just stared at Yoongi as Yoongi, for just a few seconds, stared at him, then raised his hand to touch the blood on his cheek.

"I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt a little. But this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Jimin realized two things that Saturday morning.

One, this wasn't what he wanted. At all. And two:

Yoongi was really cute.

Chapter Text

Monday was all sorts of unpleasant for Jimin, to say the least.

He stopped by The Golden Spoon on his way to school, hoping to find it void of students so that he could get his Wake-up Call with extra sugar today. He hadn't slept well last night. Or the night before. He didn't want to admit it but Jimin had been out of it ever since that Saturday morning. That morning, just two days ago, when he had seen Yoongi's blood on his fingers, when Yoongi had finally looked at him, when he first heard Yoongi speak to him.

And the words he said.

"I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt a little, but this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Pushing open the coffeeshop door, Jimin bit his tongue and struggled to suppress the memory of those words, of Yoongi's eyes.

Yoongi's beautiful, russet eyes...

Stop it, Jimin. Stop it right now.

He cursed under his breath, lifting his eyes towards the counter towards the front counter where a barista was in the middle of taking the order of a familiar boy.

"And $3.95 is your total—oh, good morning, Jimin!"

A friendly wave was sent his way by the woman behind the counter. And the boy whose order she had just taken turned slowly around to face the door, too.

It was Yoongi. Of course it was Yoongi.

Something possessed Jimin to turn away—yes, this time, it was him turning his face away from Yoongi, and not the other way around. But the second those russet eyes found him, there was a sharp and painful click in Jimin's chest that compelled him to avoid eye contact, avoid contact at all. And he didn't know why. He typically never let anything, anyone get in the way of his morning coffee, no matter what the circumstances, even if a particularly annoying student happened to be in the shop, or if the line was especially long.

But that click in his chest. It triggered the memory of two days ago, that Saturday morning.

Stupid pastel boy, you insufferable boy.

He stormed away from the shop and down the sidewalk towards Daesung High. Well, he started to, anyway.

"Heyy, Jiminie, good mo-..."

The boy who spoke stopped mid-sentence for a number of reasons.

One: being Park Jimin's close (and only) friend, he knew just about all the boy's habits and routines, such as the fact Jimin always walked out of The Golden Spoon each morning with some sort of coffee in his hand.

Two: he didn't usually exit said coffeeshop looking particularly troubled.

Three: Jimin also didn't usually act so alarmed to see him, especially since they often met at the aforementioned coffeeshop before walking to school.

That being said, Kim Namjoon was quite puzzled by Jimin's reaction to his being here right now.

Tilting his head to one side, the blonde pulled a slightly amused expression, then stifled a laugh as he watched his friend try to collect himself. "What's with you?" He said in a teasing voice. Jimin scowled.

"Nothing."

"Where's your coffee?"

"Don't want coffee this morning. And neither do you. Let's go."

Namjoon snorted as Jimin gave him a little push on his way. "Why's that? Barista a little too cute for you?"

"Very funny, Namjoon. The barista's a woman."

"Oh, so that's what ruined your morning."

With that cheeky comment, Namjoon knew he was about to get hit, and so he made a small dash to escape the reach of Jimin's hand and just barely succeeded. He slowed his pace right after to match Jimin's again.

"No, really, though." He leaned forward and inspected his friend's face. "Ya look..."

"If you say 'cute' I might kick your shins."

"I was gonna say 'upset' but fine, be like that."

Jimin bit down on his tongue, staring at his feet as he walked. The mid-November winds nipped at his nose and neck, but he was far too obstinate a person to wear scarves or a jacket heavier than the one he had on. He sighed quiet enough so Namjoon wouldn't hear. Then he mumbled, "I'm not upset. I don't even know why you'd say that. You're a stupid boy, Kim Namjoon. Almost as stupid as the pastel boy."

"The pastel boy, huh?"

After saying this, Namjoon hummed softly and gave a nod of understanding—understanding. Jimin could tell it was of understanding, and he made no hesitation to justify himself.

"Whatever you're thinking is wrong," he snapped. "The reason I'm upset has nothing to do with that brat."

"Ah, so you're admitting to being upset now."

"Wh-" Curse you, you clever little bastard.

Facing his defeat, Jimin shoved his hands into his pockets then sighed loud enough for Namjoon to hear this time. But still, he tried not to show the full extent of his mood outwardly, partially because he didn't want to believe he was upset over this in the first place. Additionally, the reason for it only added to his denial.

"Soooo..." Namjoon paused at his friend's silence. "Ya gonna spill or am I gonna have to tickle you?"

"Okay, honestly, what is wrong with you...?"

The blonde chuckled. Jimin sighed again.

"C'mon, man, I'm actually worried over here," Namjoon said more softly and in a more genuine tone. He meant what he said, after all. And no words of Jimin's could ever fool him. The two had known each other since middle school, and Namjoon was smart enough by now to know that a person's words were only as honest as the gleam in their eye. And right now Jimin's gleam was wavering considerably. "Jiminie?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Classic response. Would angrily texting me suffice?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. I'll be waiting for it."

So he did. He waited until the two of them arrived at the school building, walked down the halls, and entered their two separate classrooms, because yes, Namjoon and Jimin weren't fortunate enough to share a class this year. But they still met at lunch and at PE and occasionally in between classes.

Jimin made his way over to his seat towards the left side of the room and sat down, then immediately took out his phone. Namjoon had done the same.

Juneberry:

k so u gonna spill

Chim Chim:

what is there to spill

Juneberry:

well certainly not coffee

Seeing as u didn't get any this morning

And u always get coffee in the morning

so

Chim Chim:

...

Juneberry:

Don't text me a ellipsis -_-

that's equivalent to ignoring me

Chim Chim:

wtvr

I didn't get coffee

cuz I saw the pastel boy at the shop

and I didn't feel like

being bothered this morning ok

Juneberry:

ok

but since when

Park Chim Chim

did u start letting that boy get

in the way of ur morning coffee

Chim Chim:

since two days ago

Juneberry:

Saturday huh?

what happened Saturday

Chim Chim:

nothin ive already told u enough

leave me alone

Juneberry:

u only tell me to leave u alone

when smth is actually wrong

Chim Chim:

shut up

Juneberry:

dont make me tell ur sister

Chim Chim:

dont

she's even more annoyingly

persistent than u

Juneberry:

precisely

so

Chim Chim:

i hurt the pastel boy

Juneberry:

and that bothers u?

i thought u hated him

Chim Chim:

i do

of course i do

but i dont know what came over me

i

actually physically hurt him

Juneberry:

chim chim...

was it an accident?

Chim Chim:

technically i cant say that it was

but i saw his blood on my fingers

and i

he

Juneberry:

he what jimin

Chim Chim:

he finally spoke to me

i don't like what he said

i don't like what he said at all

Juneberry:

brush it off 

Chim Chim:

i don't like change namjoon

i don't

ugh

i wish he'd never looked at me

Juneberry:

what did he say to u jiminie

Chim Chim:

nothin

don't worry about it

Juneberry:

mm

so basically what ur saying is

u feel guilty now

Chim Chim:

no

im pissed

im so pissed

Juneberry:

chim chim

don't stress about it ok

i wish youd tell me what he said but

if it was smth ur taking personally

don't let it bother u ok?

Don't let it bother me? Don't let it bother me. Right. Like I choose to let things bother me.

Deep down, Jimin appreciated Namjoon's attempts to comfort him, but that was far beneath many, many layers of stubbornness. He shoved his phone in the pocket of his jeans and sunk into his chair. Minutes passed, students gradually filling the seats shortly before the bell for the start of first period was to ring. And one of those people happened to be the pastel boy, seeing as he, unlike Namjoon, was in Jimin's class. And on his way to his seat, located in the back corner of the room, Yoongi passed by Jimin's desk, and Jimin could have sworn he heard the boy utter a soft 'good morning.'

But that couldn't be right. No. Why on earth would Yoongi ever say good morning to him?

Granted, the boy said good morning to everyone he passed by, but Jimin was an entirely different story. It didn't make sense. It made absolutely no freaking sense. And Jimin was so tempted to extend his leg and trip the pastel boy as he passed; however that annoying click in his chest went off again. His leg froze.

"Not feeling it this time, huh, Jimin?" The boy who sat behind Jimin chuckled, but Jimin ignored him.

He was too bothered by Yoongi to be bothered by anyone else. He hated it.

So he contemplated for a while, then by lunch time arrived at the decision that he couldn't deal with it and needed to have another talk with Yoongi--that is, given the pastel boy would speak to him this time. If he didn't, then perhaps more harsh measures would need to be taken.

The thought of repeating the events of that Saturday morning made Jimin feel sick. He discarded the thought and went to the cafeteria without telling Namjoon.

Typically every day at lunch, Yoongi sat at the very same table along with three other boys--a redhead named Hoseok who had way too much energy for a teenager, a broad-shouldered kid who almost always had his cheeks full of food every time Jimin happened to lay eyes on him, and a somewhat quiet brown-haired kid named Jungkook who always sat directly beside Yoongi at the table.

Jimin began to approach that table. And as if sensing this, the redhead outstretched his arms and whispered harshly, "The Challenger draws near. Battle formation!"

Jimin could already feel his scowl and he wasn't even within twenty feet of the table. Do they think I can't hear them?

"Hey."

At Jimin's arrival, Hoseok raised his head suddenly and blurted, "Sorry, Yoongi's caught peh-numonia, he's in the process of dying. Please come back later!"

"Hobi, the 'p' in pnemonia is silent."

"And so should you be, Jin."

"Um, okay, wow. And who's the one who asked who for help in grammar recentl-"

Impatience quickly got the best of Jimin. He slammed his hand down on the surface of the table, urging all four boys to look at him--well, three of them did. Yoongi continued to eat his food in silence.

"Oh, back to ignoring me again, huh?" He snapped. At this, Yoongi slowly set down his chopsticks and turned towards Jimin.

And there he saw them: first, a new pair of glasses, rectangular instead of his usual round ones, which had been broken (by Jimin), and second, a patch of sorts on Yoongi's right cheek, right where Jimin's nails had drawn blood two days ago. He stared at it for longer than he realized. The thing that brought him back to reality was a soft voice coming from Yoongi's other side.

"Yoongi's dog scratched him real bad, and he says it still really hurts, so please leave him alone for today, Jimin."

The boy just as quiet as Yoongi, Jungkook, was now looking at Jimin with tenderly pleading eyes. But Jimin had been pushed even further in the wrong direction by the lie Jungkook had told, the lie Jungkook probably didn't know was a lie.

"I'm not gonna do anything to him," he insisted firmly. "We just need to talk."

"Right. Naturally." Hoseok frowned and looked up at Jimin with a pout. "What does 'talk' mean in your vocabulary?"

"What it means in anyone else's."

"Of course. Well, you heard Jungkook, I'm sure, so if you could just kindly-"

"Hobi."

The redhead stopped at Yoongi's interruption.

"It's fine."

"It's not fine," Seokjin whispered from across the table. "Who knows what he'll do to you if we just let you go??"

"He's never actually hurt me before. I don't think he'd start now."

With that lie leaving his lips, Yoongi rose to his feet and stepped over the bench, and immediately his forearm was gripped by Jimin, who made no hesitation to pull him all the way over to the cafeteria's exit, then out into the hallway where few students were at this time of the day. He let go of Yoongi then.

"Explain yourself."

"I don't understand what you mean."

So he is talking to me.

"You know what I mean," Jimin hissed, hardening his glare at the pastel boy, who remained almost expressionless. "First of all, do you think you're funny or something? This morning, when you passed by my desk."

Yoongi opened his mouth, then paused, confusion now painted across his face. "I...said 'good morning.' Did you mishear me?"

"No, I didn't mishear you. What'd you say that for??"

"I don't get what's so bizarre about saying 'good morning' to someone in the morning."

Jimin honestly couldn't tell if Yoongi were messing with him or if he were genuinely puzzled by Jimin's reaction. Either way, the second issue he had with the pastel boy was far more pressing than the first.

"Why'd you lie? That bull crap about your dog." Jimin scarcely resisted the urge to grab Yoongi's arm again. "Is lying to your friends just something you do casually? If anything, it would make more sense to elaborate the story to make them hate me more. Not...put the blame on something else. I don't get it."

"Yeah, it was actually kinda difficult to get them to believe me at first," Yoongi confessed with a sigh, lifting his hand to touch the patch. "They know how much my dog loves me, so they were really skeptical when I told them. But then I explained that Holly wasn't feeling well and also got really upset at me when I took her toy away from her. Eventually, they bought it."

"You didn't answer my question," Jimin said, still in a frustrated tone but he spoke quieter this time. "Why'd you try to get them to believe a lie in the first place?"

"They already don't like you. Why would I want them to hate you more? You didn't do anything to them."

That sickening feeling in Jimin's stomach deepened.

"But I did something to you."

Silence settled for a time. In that time, Jimin stared into Yoongi's eyes, analyzing them, trying to figure him out. And Yoongi did the same to him, except unbeknownst to Jimin, Yoongi had already figured him out.

"If you're looking for me to hate you, Park Jimin, you're going to have to try harder than that."

Chapter Text

"If you're looking for me to hate you, Park Jimin, you're going to have to try harder than that."

To say that those words stuck in his brain was an understatement.

They were imprinted there. Firmly, painfully imprinted. And it threw Jimin way off course, so much that it was so, so obvious to Namjoon, but unfortunately for Namjoon his friend was obstinately insisting nothing was wrong. But, Namjoon trusted if things got bad enough, and that if he really wanted the help, Jimin would go to him.

But in the meantime Jimin silently suffered the constant replaying of those words.

This was even worse than what the pastel boy had said to him before, that time when Jimin had pushed him against the wall and dug his nails into the boy's cheeks. Though that wasn't to say that still didn't bother him. Because it did. It definitely did.

Just...everything about the pastel boy bothered him.

The next Saturday Jimin walked to The Golden Spoon alone early in the morning, scowling every step of the way as he kept his head facing down, hands buried in the pockets of his leather jacket as always. It was windy today. Extra windy, extra chilly. Jimin always hated the cold - rather, he hated being outdoors in the cold. He didn't mind it as much when he was inside where it was warm, or where he could sit down with a nice, delicious hot beverage to balance out the chills still bouncing around in his body. And right now, that was exactly what he was going to do.

But again, his morning would be a bit of a disappointment if he'd have to order his Wake-up Call without cream and sugar.

He was in luck. Entering the coffeeshop, Jimin took a brief scan around and found that only several customers were here at the moment. None of them were students from his school, and none of them paid any mind to Jimin. So Jimin approached the counter to make his order.

"Ah, Park Jimin, back again~"

Of course Taehyung was working today.

"Not in the mood. You know what I want. Just shut up and make it. Extra cream and sugar."

Taking exact change out of his wallet and slapping it on the counter, Jimin stormed over to the receiving end and took out his phone to kill time as he waited. Same scene Taehyung was used to, except even the barista, who only shared brief interactions with the boy, could tell something was off about Jimin today.

He finished preparing the drink and carried it carefully over to where he handed it to Jimin. And Jimin promptly turned away and went to claim a seat in the small booth on the far end of the coffeeshop. There, he sat down and took a moment to hold his head in his hands before taking the first sip of his drink. Taehyung saw that out of the corner of eye right before he greeted his next customer. He smiled, took their order, then prepared it, bringing it over to the receiving end of the counter where the customer picked it up, thanked him, and left.

Meanwhile Jimin was continuing to brood over his Wake-up Call, having taken off the lid so that it could cool faster. It was scalding hot right now, and had he the energy, Jimin might have yelled out a complaint to Taehyung just for the sake of doing so. But he was too distracted.

"Something wrong with the coffee, Jimin?"

"Actually, yes, it's too hot-"

Jimin blinked. Taehyung was sitting across from him at the booth.

"What the f-..." Jerking his head back, Jimin narrowed his eyes at the boy whose expression was bright enough to blind him. He reminded Jimin of that redheaded kid from school. "What are you doin' here?? You're on your shift, aren't you??"

"Actually, I'm on my break now," Taehyung said, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt to check his watch. "I've got fifteen minutes. I'm just gonna sit here. That okay?"

"No," Jimin replied bluntly, "not okay. Go somewhere else. You guys aren't too busy this early on Saturday mornings. Go use one of the empty tables."

"No fun. I'm gonna stay here."

"Go, or I'll get you fired."

"Good luck with that. My coworkers and manager adore me."

Jimin rolled his eyes and took a careful sip of his coffee. "I'm sure they do."

"Yup!" Taehyung beamed. "So, like, while I'm here, could I ask what's wrong?"

"You already did. I said coffee's too hot."

"Oh, no, I meant besides that. You're acting different."

Jimin didn't answer him. He hoped that Taehyung would take a hint. Not so. Or maybe, he took the hint, but threw it away.

"Ah, does it have anything to do with the boy who came here last week? The one with the mint-hair. Yoongi. You seemed weird that day, too. Really weird. Like, you even left your coffee behind to run after him, and you never leave your c-"

"It's got nothing to do with that brat!"

Raising his voice was unintentional, however being there only three other customers in the shop at the time, Jimin was able to quickly shake off his embarrassment.

But at that moment the 'brat' himself entered the shop. Jimin froze. Yoongi looked around, eyes happening upon Taehyung and Jimin in that small booth by the window, and Taehyung, making eye contact, enthusiastically raised his hand to wave as he called out, "Yoongi, come join us!"

At the barista's overly friendly greeting, Yoongi couldn't help but crack a smile - Jimin had his head turned towards the window at this point - and waved back, then made his way up to the counter to place his order.

Then to Jimin's utter dismay, the pastel boy did as Taehyung suggested.

A few seconds later and he was sitting beside the barista, across from Jimin.

And Jimin glared at Taehyung like the boy was at the number one spot on his hit list.

"Hi, Jimin."

Oh, he did not just say 'hi' to me. "What are you doing here?"

Yoongi responded by taking a slow sip of his coffee.

"Does that answer your question?"

Jimin scoffed, turning once again to look out the window. And as if this activated a switch which made the orange-haired boy invisible, Yoongi casually shifted his attention over to Taehyung.

"You look cute again today, Taehyung."

A cough crawled its way up Jimin's throat. But it was ignored.

"Really??" The barista gave a shy chuckle and scratched his cheek.

"Mhm. I really like your shirt. I love Spirited Away."

"Oh my gosh, me, too! It was one of my favorite movies as a kid. That, and Howl's Moving Castle."

"What about My Neighbor Totoro?"

"I don't think I've watched that one."

"Really? Well, you should. It's a classic."

"Well, okay then." Taehyung giggled. "I'll put it on my to-do list."

Jimin honestly didn't know why he hadn't left. Maybe it was his stubbornness having taken control again, reminding him that this was the seat he had chosen first, and that he shouldn't have to be the one to relocate. They were. Except they didn't. Until, that is, the moment Taehyung looked down at his watch and realized fifteen minutes had oh-so-quickly passed by, and that he had to return to the register. So he did.

But the pastel boy stayed. And with his head still facing the window, Jimin took this moment to say something he hoped would get a reaction out of Yoongi.

"I know you're gay, pastel boy. You can't deny the rumors."

"I've never once denied them, though."

At this, Jimin choked on his coffee, and he immediately regretted taking a drink to begin with. Luckily he managed to recover quickly; however, Yoongi, as usual, was unfazed to an aggravating degree.

"If I were trying to hide it, do you really think I would've called a boy cute in front of you? Two times?"

He had a point. He certainly had a point, and that just made the cat's grip on Jimin's tongue even tighter. So since no words came out, all Jimin could do was stare menacingly at Yoongi.

"And what are you gonna do with this information now that you have it, I might add?" Yoongi asked, sass dripping from his voice. "You could go around telling people, but good luck finding someone who doesn't already know."

It was like he knew he had won. But Jimin hated that, and he didn't want to admit it even to himself. So again, he just continued to glare at Yoongi. However it was only seconds after that that Jimin felt his forehead start to ache, and so he loosened the tight muscles on his brow, reaching his hand up to massage his temples. He groaned.

"I really don't like you, pastel boy."

"Mhm." Sip. "You've made that clear."

"I've got a headache now. It's your fault."

"Is that it? Or too many things on your mind? Ya know, stress is one of the most common causes of he-"

"Yeah, I know," Jimin barked. "It's your fault. You're the one stressing me out."

"Really? I'm significant enough to you that I'd cause you stress?"

"Significant??"

Yoongi's phrasing of that question seemed to strike Jimin's head and thus worsen the headache, as did Jimin's immediate reaction, which was reforming the scowl he had just managed to stow away. Narrowing his eyes at the mint-haired boy, Jimin scoffed harshly.

"You're not significant," he declared. "Not to me. I couldn't care less about you."

Yoongi gave a casual nod. "I see. Well, then why do you let me stress you out?"

"I don't let you!"

"Sounds to me like you do."

"You cocky bastard..."

"Not being cocky. Just sayin'." Yoongi shrugged. "If I'm so insignificant, you wouldn't be going out of your way all the time just to pick on me, and you certainly wouldn't be letting me cross your mind to the point where it gives you headaches."

"You never cross my mind."

"Funny. Then who's the brat you were talking about right before I walked in the shop?"

"Quite narcissistic of you to think the word 'brat' solely refers to you."

Yoongi cracked a smile. A tiny one, but now that he was looking at Yoongi and not away from him, Jimin could see it this time, and he really didn't like it.

"This is fun."

A twig snapped in Jimin's head. He raised an eyebrow.

"Fun?"

"Yeah." Yoongi's smile grew just a tad. "Having an actual conversation for a change. It's different. But fun. You agree, don't you?"

"On no plane of reality," Jimin countered, ignoring the slight warmth in his cheeks. Well, he tried to. He stopped to hold his temples between his fingers again. "Ugh...just stop it..."

"Stop what?"

"Talking to me. I hate it."

"...but just last week you were demanding me to. Color me a bit puzzled, Park Jimin. What is it you want?"

He didn't respond this time. Not with a scoff, nor a biting remark to try to make the pastel boy feel insulted. Jimin suddenly felt exhausted, enough to admit, this time, that Yoongi got him good.

Slowly Jimin pushed his coffee aside to lay his head on the table.

"I don't know."

He breathed out.

"I don't know what I want."

Chapter Text

Jimin found himself struggling with little energy that next Monday.

His stumbled upon Yoongi waiting in a small line at The Golden Spoon, and, feeling an unpleasant weight in his chest, Jimin decided to go the morning without his favorite coffee. And perhaps that was a mistake, as the boy could have used any little boost he could get his hands on.

Namjoon caught up to him on his way to school.

"You look awful," he said concernedly.

"Thanks," Jimin replied, not bothering to look at his friend. Namjoon sighed.

"Really? 'Thanks'? That's all you're giving me?"

To Namjoon's surprise, that really was all he got. Jimin didn't bite back with some sassy retort. In fact he didn't speak or react at all. He just continued to walk, head facing down, mind wandering as he tried not to allow the pastel boy to cross his mind. It wasn't easy. At all. And he realized it, and that realization made him even more upset, and he began to slouch even more than he already was.

By the time he got to school Jimin was ready to sink down into his chair and fall asleep. Maybe a good half-hour nap would help him to feel better, he thought, and so that's what he tried to do. And for some time, Jimin was able to sit peacefully at his desk with little outside noises or distractions to disturb his rest. But then Yoongi entered the classroom, behind whom followed the somewhat reserved Jungkook, who also happened to be in their class. Jimin wanted to ignore them. This once, he wanted to ignore Yoongi's presence, even if it meant passing up on an opportunity to trip the boy when his guard was down. Jimin just...didn't want to see or think about him.

"Guk, I told you it's fine. I really don't mind."

"I know, I just feel like I've been bugging you a lot lately..."

Jimin squeezed his eyes shut as the two passed by his desk.

"Bugging me?? You're like my favorite human being, Jungkook. You could never bug me."

"I am not." Jungkook laughed. "What about Hoseok?"

"Hobi's a different kind of favorite."

"You can't have different kinds of favorites."

"Yes, you can. Hobi's my favorite redhead. You're my favorite human being."

"Is Hoseok not a human being?"

"I don't actually know. But anyway, you're cuter. Don't tell him I said that, though. He'll fight me."

Jimin didn't notice as his own eyes opened and shifted subtly towards where Yoongi and Jungkook were sitting. And he just stared at them with absentminded concentration, ears listening keenly to the friendly words exchanged in moderate tones.

"I stopped by that one coffeeshop I told you about," Yoongi said, tugging at his rainbow wool sweater paws to cover more of his hands. "The Golden Spoon. They're really good, you should try them sometime. Oh, and it's also a plus there's this cute barista who works a lot on the weekends and sometimes after school. He's super friendly. Really likes Spirited Away, too."

"Oh my gosh, I love Spirited Away..."

"I know. Maybe I should introduce you to him some time. Nudge, nudge."

"D-...don't say 'nudge, nudge'..."

"Sorry, Guk, you know I'm just messin' with ya. Oh, completely unrelated to that, my hot neighbor walked outside without a shirt yesterday."

"Wh—it's the beginning of December-"

"I know. What a man. His name's also Hoseok, did I mention?"

"You did not."

"Well, now I did." 

It was as though he didn't care if anyone heard him. The pastel boy spoke in such a casual manner and his friend listened to him openly, seeming used to it and the boy's overall demeanor, appearance, and...well, everything. Because Yoongi, for as long as Jimin could remember, never seemed to care even the slightest of what anyone thought of him. He was in his own little world, unbothered, content, quiet, but strongly expressive in his own way. 

"...your hair's extra soft today. New shampoo?"

Jimin tensed as he suddenly registered Yoongi was now running his fingers through Jungkook's chocolate brown locks. Insides shrinking in on themselves, Jimin shut his eyes and drew in a quick breath. 

How can he just do these things so openly?? I hate it. I hate it. I hate him.

It clawed at his chest. Against his will, Jimin's eyes opened again and shifted towards Yoongi, who was now pinching Jungkook's cheek as he smiled. 

"Yoongi, I asked if you could stop doing that..."

"What? Why? You're cute and you remind me of my little brother."

"You don't have a little brother..."

"Be my little brother, then."

"Yoongi..."

"Call me 'hyung'."

Struggling to hold in a burst of laughter, Jungkook gently hit Yoongi's head, pushing his friend away as he turned to face forward in his seat. The teacher had just entered the room. 

Jimin laid his head on his desk.

I feel sick.

"Yo, Chim...you don't look so good, buddy. I mean, even worse than you did this morning."

It had sunk and settled deep in his stomach by now, that awful, sickening feeling that legitimately made him feel like he could vomit. Namjoon wasn't the first to notice, or say something about it, either. A couple students had approached Jimin, curiously asking him why he looked as though he had just watched someone run over a puppy. To which Jimin responded 'piss off' each time. Except he couldn't say that to Namjoon. Well, he could. But it wouldn't work. It was lunch time now and the two were at their usual spot in the cafeteria. Namjoon stared at his friend from across the table. He tapped his chopsticks against Jimin's hand, attempting to get the boy's attention, but failing miserably as Jimin's attention was subconsciously fixed on something else. 

Namjoon followed his friend's line of vision towards the source--even though, deep down, he already knew. 

Jimin was looking directly at the pastel boy, who was in the process of outstretching his arms, smiling softly and tugging at the sleeves of his vibrant rainbow sweater. Namjoon couldn't make out what they were saying, but it was obvious Yoongi and his friends were talking about that sweater. 

He turned his gaze back to Jimin for a moment--dejected, sickly-looking Jimin who didn't so much as bat an eye at Namjoon. And Namjoon knew that he wouldn't, not right now, so without another moment to think it over he scooped up his boxed lunch and chopsticks and boldly approached the table where the pastel boy and his friends were peacefully enjoying themselves. 

"Hey, terribly sorry to interrupt you," Namjoon began, putting on his most charming smile, "I'm Namjoon. My friend won't speak to me right now and I'm awfully lonely, so would you mind if I join you fine gentlemen?" 

There was a pause following Namjoon's words, and in that small stretch of silence, Seokjin leaned forward, took one look at Namjoon, then flinched. His eyes shot open and his hand propelled itself forward to vigorously tap Yoongi on the shoulder. 

"No, say no!" He whispered, almost in a panic. "This guy is with Jimin!"

And Hoseok soon joined in the panicky whispering, which struck Namjoon as odd, because why didn't they just tell Namjoon that themselves? No, instead they awaited the response of their mint-haired friend whose countenance had been wiped clean of its smile, restoring itself to blank like a clean state. Then, disregarding his friends' warnings, Yoongi said with a shrug, "Sure, that's fine."

And so Namjoon politely thanked him and sat down. 

It was only then, just as Namjoon had lowered himself to the seat beside Hoseok, opposite to Yoongi, that Jimin's focus snapped. And he suddenly realized that his friend wasn't sitting at the same table as him anymore, but rather had crossed over into forbidden territory and was now engaging in conversation with the enemies. Jimin felt his face go pale. He had zoned out, for too long it seemed, so he didn't really know for sure if Namjoon had stated why he had gone over there, but the fact that the boy had taken his lunch with him and had so quickly made himself comfortable certainly wasn't reassuring. 

And so abruptly struck a disgusting thought in Jimin's mind, the thought that, perhaps, having become fed up with being ignored and treated rudely by Jimin, Namjoon had decided to teach him a lesson by outing him. 

It was extremely unlikely. Jimin knew that deep down, but at the moment his fear gripped him like a cold, clammy hand and wouldn't let go. So with no thoughts going into the execution of his actions, Jimin rose to his feet and stormed over to the table where his friend sat idly, happily. 

Namjoon raised his head to meet Jimin's livid gaze. 

"Ah, hello, Chim Chim," he greeted, smiling widely, "I was just telling these fine gentlemen alllll about you."

It was a devilish smile. Jimin's heart dropped as Hoseok snickered. 

"Chim Chim?"

Ignore him. Just ignore him. "You better not have," he hissed. He tried to remain calm, he really did. But he sensed a quivering in his own voice, and he could feel sweat threatening to roll down his face. 

Seokjin's voice chimed from the other side of Hoseok, "Why do you say that, huh? Got something to hide?"

Relax. Just be calm. "Yeah, right." Scoffing, Jimin fired a stern glare at each individual sitting at the table, one by one, but when he got to the pastel boy, the pit in his stomach deepened enough to make standing still unbearable. So Jimin left in fit of anger. 

Hoseok made a face at the sight. "What's his deal?"

"Oh, he's just feeling under the weather, that's all," Namjoon replied. 

Yoongi silently picked at his food. 

The end of the day came along, quickly for some, but for Jimin it couldn't have gone any slower. And it was excruciating, because with every second that went by Jimin felt his chest becoming more and more constrained, and it was a horrible, horrible and sickening feeling. His eyes burned as the final dismissal bell sounded. And he made not the slightest hesitation to scoop up his school bag and leave the building, fearing that if he didn't get out of people's line of sight immediately, they might see him cry.

Fortunately the tears held for a short while. But barely. 

He hid himself. Not extremely well, but school hours were over now, and few people stayed behind, especially outdoors, so Jimin didn't think where he chose to hide would be an issue. He collapsed on the grass right outside the gymnasium. 

He didn't want to stay long. But he just needed to breathe. And cry. And he did. The moment he was on the ground, the compression in his chest caused his tears to spill out and over his eyelids. Soft whimpers escaped his mouth though he did his best to subdue them. 

Things were quiet for a while and Jimin almost forgot where he was. His ears, clogged by loud thoughts, failed to alert him in time of approaching footsteps. 

Of all the luck in the world, Jimin had the worst. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't have camouflaged that he had been crying--not believably, anyway. But he tried, just for a moment, when he first lifted his head and saw the pastel boy standing several feet away. Jimin hastily wiped off the moisture on his cheeks, but more soon replaced it. And Jimin wasn't stupid. He knew it was hopeless. At this point, Yoongi had seen what he needed to see. 

"...I know you're gay, Jimin. Your secret's safe with me."

It struck Jimin's chest and just about winded him, and in utter devastation and puzzlement he lifted his head, gaze of borderline horror rising to dig into Yoongi's own. He had sounded so confident. Why did he sound so confident???

"I'm not gay." Jimin could feel his whole body shaking now. The fact that it was quite cold out today didn't help, either. "What's wrong with you??"

Yoongi paused for a moment, turned his head, and sighed. Then he spoke in a soft whisper, "What do you have to lose from telling me?"

Jimin's eyes stung as he blinked away a tear. "You could out me, that's what."

"So you're admitting it now?"

"Wh-"

It was such an immediate, sweeping, overwhelming sensation of defeat, and in the silence that followed his attempt at countering the pastel boy, Jimin began to cry again. He covered his face with his hands, succumbing to the pain, the dread, that came along with such a distressing realization. 

"Oh, please just leave me alone," Jimin sobbed in unmasked desperation. "If you want to get back at me can it wait?? You can pants me in front of the entire school or trip me in the hallway so that I face-plant so hard I break my nose or something, just not this, and not now, please."

Another pause. "You really think I'd tell people? Or even try to spread a rumor?"

Jimin sniffed. Bitter regret clung to his miserable conscience. "...what reason would you have not to?"

Yoongi pursed his lips, nodding his head slowly. "Fair point," he said in hesitant agreement. "But in my opinion, to deliberately pull someone out of the closet when they aren't ready is a crime punishable by death. And I'm much too young to be committing such a crime."

It hurt Jimin's head. Those words, the underlying sympathy. It hurt to think about it. Seconds passed but they felt like hours.

"...you in the mood for coffee, Jimin?"

Chapter Text

Jimin blinked, and they were there.

Who? The pastel boy and him.

When? 4:45 P.M. Or thereabout. 

Where? The Golden Spoon.

Why? Yoongi asked him to, that's why. And Jimin, in his hopeless state, couldn't tell him 'no'. So he tentatively followed Yoongi all the way from school to the coffeeshop, soon finding himself seated and waiting anxiously at a small corner table while Yoongi waited by the counter for their drinks. Taehyung wasn't working today. And thank goodness for that, Jimin thought. He didn't need that boy's input right now. Doubted he would have been able to handle it, either. So he lucked out this time.

A few minutes later and Yoongi returned to Jimin with two coffees in hand. Without a word, he set one of them down in front of Jimin, lowering himself to the seat across from the boy who he had never seen so despondent--who no one had ever seen so despondent.

For a short while there was only silence. Yoongi sipped quietly at his drink but Jimin didn't even touch his.

"...why did you sound so confident?"

"Hm?"

Yoongi made a glance at Jimin, whose eyes were fixed on the untouched beverage in front of him.

"When you said you knew I was gay. How on earth could you sound so sure of yourself?" Jimin held his breath for a moment. "There's no way...that I made it obvious. There's no way..."

"It's obvious to someone who's been where you are."

Yoongi raised his coffee to his mouth again. A thoughtful sigh passed through his lips.

"I've had the suspicion you were gay for a long time now...because you reminded me of exactly how I used to act before I came out."

Jimin was speechless. And now, the roles were reversed, as he was staring at Yoongi while Yoongi stared down at his coffee. He couldn't imagine it at all. The pastel boy behaving even remotely close to how Jimin, himself, behaved, coldly, unpleasantly, he couldn't imagine the pastel boy dressing in anything other than his cute sweaters and glasses, he couldn't imagine being anything like him. But Yoongi was admitting to him now. Honesty, out in the open.

"...you don't believe me, do you?"

"No, I do," Jimin replied absentmindedly. "I don't get why I do...but I do."

"Want photo proof?"

Jimin's eyes opened a bit wider at the sound of this, but nervously he turned his gaze away upon making accidental eye contact with Yoongi. Next thing Jimin knew, the pastel boy was sliding his phone over to him, on which displayed the 'photo proof' he had spoken of.

It looked like an entirely different person.

It didn't even look like Yoongi. 

At least not to Jimin. 

The dark hair, the dark attire, the lack of glasses, the ridiculous chains, but perhaps most of all, the look held within those russet eyes of his. 

The misery. The deep-set misery which struck a cord in Jimin's chest. And he couldn't help but wonder to himself: is this how I look?

"I wanted to delete it," Yoongi said, drawing the other boy from his thoughts. "I still do, to be honest with you. But I keep it as a reminder. A painful reminder, mind you, but a relieving one at the same time. Hardly recognizable, ain't it?"

"Yeah..."

He couldn't tear his eyes away from the picture. It was just so...shocking. Even knowing it was true and seeing the proof before him, a sliver of disbelief still clung to Jimin for some strange reason. Or maybe it was some other emotion. He didn't know. And he was too tired to really think about it.

"I wish I could be like you."

He spoke without thinking--again, because he was much too tired to think. But even upon realizing what he'd said, Jimin didn't try to reel it back, or pretend as though he hadn't meant to say those words. It was the truth, and Jimin knew it. The reason for his targeting Yoongi, the bullying, the cruel teasing and harassment. It was all because of that jealousy. That desire. 

He wanted to be like the pastel boy. 

Behind his eyelids, Jimin could sense another wave of tears threatening to show up. He drew a deep breath and let it out shakily. 

"You can, ya know."

"It's not that easy."

"I never said it was. Do you think it was easy for me? Do you think it's easy for anyone?"

Speechless again, Jimin bit his tongue, unable to counter the fair point Yoongi made. He wished he could. He wished he didn't have to admit to defeat so easy. But maybe it was about time he did. 

"I spent four years hiding under a mask. How long have you been under yours?"

"Lost count," Jimin muttered. He bit his tongue again to stop himself from saying any more. He was scared to open up. Especially to this person. 

Yoongi watched Jimin's face for a moment. Examining the boy's expression, sensing the anxiety, the severe absence of temerity, his gaze washed over Jimin, then fell on the phone from which Jimin had not yet looked away. Even with the tears Jimin had already shed, Yoongi could still see that the dam in the boy's head had not yet broken. At least not fully. 

"...tell me what you're most afraid of, Jimin," Yoongi boldly said. Wrapping his fingers around his coffee, he made a slight head tilt and trained his eyes on Jimin's, even though Jimin still was looking down. "People looking at you like you're an alien?" He took his phone back and put it in his pocket. "Being judged? Picked on? Or is it something worse than that?"

Jimin's hands tensed. "Why would I tell you?"

"I don't know, maybe because sharing thoughts and feelings with someone who can actually understand you might make for a nice change." Yoongi shrugged and took another sip of his drink. He sighed. "I mean, c'mon, Jimin, you gotta start somewhere, or else you'll never be able to open up-"

"I don't want to open up."

"Yes, you do. You know you do."

Confidence. And it wasn't foolish confidence, either, because at this point, Yoongi and Jimin were just two opposite ends of the same mirror. 

Jimin was the boy Yoongi left behind and Yoongi was the boy Jimin wanted to catch up to. 

The background noise of the coffeeshop and the world outside it faded in Jimin's mind. His brain shut down. His heart took over. 

"My older brother was best friends with this one boy," he began in a voice almost too soft to hear. "They were almost always together...I remember my brother used to invite him over our house all the time, and he'd have dinner with us sometimes, and...I don't know, he always just seemed like such a nice guy and I couldn't imagine anyone ever hating him. But then one day he-"

Something got caught in Jimin's throat. A bubble of emotion, which he tried to push down, but it fought back. 

"He came out to my brother and got punched in the face for it. They were at our house at the time, and I came downstairs because I heard a loud noise. And my brother...just started screaming at him. I couldn't believe it..." Jimin's lip started to quiver as the memory resurfaced even more vividly. "It...it scarred me. If that scene alone wasn't enough, the fact that my brother completely broke off contact with his friend really drove it home. How do you think he'd react to his little brother, his family, someone he trusts more than 99% of the human race, confessing to the same lie his 'best friend' did?? I can't do it. I've been hiding it more and more since then because I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm so freaking scared."

And Yoongi could hear that. 

He could hear it, and practically feel it, that anxiety and dread that gripped Jimin's heart, that had been gripping Jimin's heart for quite a long time now. Too long, evidently. It was just as he had said. Jimin had clearly been scarred by that scene, and the fear of being looked down upon, the mere thought of becoming the victim, of being seen by his brother as someone who betrayed his trust...

It was piloting his life. And he was absolutely miserable because of it. 

"Jimin."

From behind the shield of his hands Jimin sniffled quietly. 

"Jimin, will you let me help you?"

Jimin furrowed his brow, parting his fingers so that he could peer through them at Yoongi's face. "Help me with what?" He mumbled. 

Yoongi gave a soft smile. 

"I wanna teach you how to show your colors."

Chapter Text

The next day coming to school, Jimin felt anxious. Once again, Yoongi's words were on his mind and they just wouldn't leave. And it was frustrating, of course, but in a different way this time. Because Jimin actually pondered them instead of immediately trying to shoo away the troubling thoughts.

"I wanna teach you how to show your colors."

He still couldn't believe Yoongi had said that to him, that he even thought about offering help to a person who had so greatly wronged him. Granted, Jimin didn't quite know what Yoongi meant by what he said, but the fact that he was trying to help at all was...odd.

Jimin entered his classroom first thing upon arriving at school in the morning. He lazily slid into his desk, dropped his school bag next to him, and took out his phone to kill time.

Several minutes later, who should walk in but the pastel boy, Jungkook in tow, and upon passing by Jimin's desk, Yoongi subtly slipped a small piece of paper that did not go unnoticed by the boy meant to receive it.

Jimin stared at it for a long moment. Then, gradually setting down his phone, he picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it to reveal a number written on the inside, along with a brief message.

|| Don't get the wrong idea, but like if 
you don't want people to see us
talking in school or in public, then this is
the only other option I can think of 
besides becoming pen pals but that's dumb.
Well, unless you wanted to come over my house, I guess that would work.
Don't worry, I'd be sure to tell my family you're not my boyfriend. ||

Somewhat alarmed by the unexpected situation, Jimin fired a confused and demanding glare in Yoongi's direction, but it went ignored, as the pastel boy seemed already enveloped in a riveting conversation with his friend. In defeat, the orange-haired boy, who was definitely not embarrassed by the last few lines of Yoongi's message, reluctantly inserted the number into his phone and sent the boy a text.

Save this contact as 'pastel boy'?
Yes        No

me:
what's your deal??

Impatient Jimin awaited a response, nervously tapping his foot against the floor as he watched Yoongi react to his phone buzzing in his pocket. He continued to talk casually to Jungkook, though, but to Jimin's relief Yoongi soon took out the device.

pastel boy:
wow, what a welcoming first text
what do u mean by that?

me:
u know wtf I mean 
giving me ur number? 
and what's with that message

Jimin looked up suddenly when he heard Yoongi snort.

pastel boy:
the message literally explained 
y I gave u my # lmao
any more questions?

me:
but 
just
why?

pastel boy:
I already told u why
I said I wanted to help u remember? 
we'll talk later, class is about to start

me:
but why do u want to help me??

Jimin didn't receive an answer to his text, as right as he sent it, Yoongi had turned off his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. The teacher walked into the classroom. Jimin internally groaned.

This is gonna be a long day, isn't it?

*

*

*

*

"You look less sick today," Namjoon commented, daring to poke his friend's cheek with a chopstick. "Still perturbed, might I say, but at least you don't look like you could vomit right here and now."

Jimin frowned at him, as usual. He chewed his food in silence and tapped his fingers against the table's surface, right next to where he had placed his phone. Yoongi hadn't responded. Was he doing this on purpose? Jimin wondered. His eyes wandered over to Yoongi's table, where the boy was quietly enjoying his lunch as his friends talked amongst themselves. Jimin then returned his attention to his phone, which still sat motionless.

This is stupid. Why did he give me his number?? I hate this, why does that brat always have to be on my mind-

"Okay, something's up with you, Chim."

Jimin looked at his friend. Namjoon was looking back at him with somewhat disappointed eyes, and in an equally disappointed voice, he said, "Something happened between you and him, didn't it? And you just won't tell me. Why won't you tell me anything? I'm your best friend, aren't I, Jimin?"

He almost sounded hurt. And he had every right to be, Jimin thought, but reluctantly. Namjoon was his best friend. His only friend. And lately, Jimin had been anything but a friend to him.

"I'm sorry, I've been really bothered lately."

"I know." Namjoon stifled a laugh. "You don't have to tell me that, buddy. I can tell. I just want details. As much as you'll give me."

As he waited patiently for his friend to speak, Namjoon took the time to shift his gaze towards the pastel boy's table, as Jimin had previously done.

"He knows."

That brief comment, those two small words that might have seemed vague to anyone else, were descriptive enough to Namjoon that he immediately returned his wide-eyed gaze back to Jimin.

"I didn't tell him, I swear, Chim-"

"I know," Jimin said softly. "Somehow, he deciphered it on his own."

"...so is he blackmailing you now?"

"No. Worse. He's offering to help me, and I don't know what to do. Why on earth would he offer to help me?"

"Mm..." Placing his hand on his chin, Namjoon hummed to himself, scanning Jimin's genuinely hopeless expression. "Maybe he likes you~"

This earned Namjoon a firm smack to the head.

"Don't even joke about stuff like that," Jimin hissed, watching in apathy as his friend massaged his new bruise. "I know he hates me. He's gotta have some other motive."

Unintentionally Jimin recalled Yoongi’s words.

"If you're looking for me to hate you, Park Jimin, you're going to have to try harder than that."

Oh, shut up, already, I don't feel like dealing with another headache right now...

*

*

*

*

When Jimin arrived home, the first thing he did was march right up the stairs and into his room, where he flung his exhausted self onto his bed. Maybe a nap would help. Maybe a nap could ease the headache Yoongi had given him. He hoped, anyway.

To Jimin's surprise, it actually worked. He was able to fall asleep that afternoon and remain sleeping until his younger sister came to his door, knocking quietly, yet it still woke him.

"Jiminie? It's dinnertime, are you hungry?"

Stirring awake, Jimin grunted, lifting his head off his pillow to call out, "Yeah, whatever, I'll be down in a few."

But he ended up falling back asleep again. A few minutes later, his second, more aggressive wake-up call came for him, aka his twenty-year-old brother Jihyun, who felt no shame as he entered Jimin's room without knocking and dragged the younger out of bed by his ankles. Jimin struck the floor with a loud 'thump' which shook every last ounce of sleepiness out of him.

"Dinnertime, Sleeping Beauty~"

"Let go of my foot!" Jimin cried in distress, but his brother just laughed playfully at him.

"You didn't even get a shower, did you? Just slept all day? Was school that bad?"

"I am not having a conversation with you like this." Jimin crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Jihyun who was still holding onto his ankles, smiling.

"Fine." Jihyun released his grip on Jimin. The younger's heels hit the floor hard. In disgruntlement, Jimin rose to his feet and followed Jihyun out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen. There, his parents and fourteen-year-old sister, Eunji, were already waiting at the table.

"Your hair's atrocious," his mother laughed, reaching over to pat down her son's terrible bedhead. Jimin made a face and sat down next to Eunji, who mimicked her mother's actions and petted Jimin's head. He glared at her, but less harshly. Eunji was too sweet to be legitimately mad at.

"You didn't even get a shower, did you?" She asked. "Was school that bad?"

"Do you and Jihyun rehearse the same lines?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

*

*

*

*

After finishing dinner and helping clear the table, Jimin announced he'd be taking his shower and went to do so before anyone else could claim the bathroom. He felt tired again for some reason and considered just going back to sleep again right after showering. So that's what he prepared to do. Changing into a charcoal grey sweatshirt and matching sweatpants (which he hated, mind you, but he didn't really have many other options), Jimin returned to his bedroom and sprawled out on his bed again, this time with his face turned towards the ceiling.

The house was quiet, as usual, with the only sound being the distant noise of running water from Eunji washing the dishes. And Jihyun, lucky for Jimin, was the type to always wear headphones rather than blast his music out loud, so no obnoxious noise came from his room down the hall.

Jimin sighed as he stared at his ceiling fan.

He was about to close his eyes when suddenly his phone buzzed. Already expecting it to be Namjoon, Jimin lazily reached out towards his dresser to pick it up. Then he took one glance at the screen and his eyes shot open. 

|| You have (1) new message from pastel boy. ||

He had forgotten that quickly that Yoongi had given him his number. Heart skipping an anxious beat, Jimin opened the message. 

pastel boy:
hey, how's it going?

He could feel his hands sweating. This was weird. This was too weird. 

me:
fine
why do u ask

pastel boy:
sorry i meant to text earlier, my dad was trying to teach me how to change oil in the car
it was gross
anyway i don't have anything to do now so r u free to talk? 
u responded pretty quickly so i'm assuming ur not busy

It sounded so natural. Yoongi sounded so natural, so casual even in his messages; it was like he forgot who he was talking to, or perhaps, didn't care. Again, it puzzled Jimin to no end, but he found it in himself to text back. 

me:
i'm not busy

pastel boy:
so u can talk then?

me:
i mean i guess
don't know why u want to tho

pastel boy:
well im bored
and besides i said we'd talk
so whats going on in the park residence 
anything interesting?

me:
no
not really

pastel boy:
mm
did u eat dinner

Why is he asking that??

me:
i did

pastel boy:
mm so did i 
my sister made bulgogi chicken
shes talented
anyway
if u dont mind me asking, park jimin

For some reason Jimin felt nervous after reading that message, unsure of what Yoongi was going to say next. He gripped his phone tighter and sat up in his bed.

pastel boy:
what do u do in ur free time, huh?
watch movies?
video games?
study?
u can tell me the truth, i won't call u a nerd

Jimin hesitated. Yoongi sent another message before he could even think of what to reply.

pastel boy:
u don't have to tell me if u don't want to tho
im just curious, is all
i mean i know ur situation, or at least to an extent
the whole thing with ur brother and u being afraid to be open and whatnot
but like
idk im just wondering do u have a place or a time u set aside just for yourself
where u can do what u actually want to do

He held his breath. He swore he could hear Yoongi's voice in his head.

pastel boy:
or do u shut yourself away from it altogether?

Jimin felt a small, painful jolt in his chest. Yoongi, once again, had hit the nail on the head, effortlessly, it seemed. And for a moment Jimin started to feel nauseous, but then he recalled the fact that maybe this wasn't so odd. After all, Yoongi claimed Jimin reminded him of how he used to be. So this wasn't really lucky guessing. It was simply connecting-the-dots.

Slowly Jimin typed out a reply.

me:
shutting myself away from it
seemed like the best option
i'd hoped b4 that maybe if i did that i'd
magically lose interest
but seeing u dress the way that u do
and hearing u talk
even the way u jokingly flirted with or just complimented ur friends
i
it was hopeless for me
and i hated that bcuz of u
i couldn't just bury my feelings

pastel boy:
and that's why u bullied me

me:
and thats why i bullied u

In a sense, it had been said before already. But this truly spelled it out. And it hit home for the both of them.

pastel boy:
hey jimin?

me:
what

pastel boy:
tomorrow, after school
at my house
you and me
we're gonna talk about boys

Chapter Text

Now this was a whole new level of nervous.

Of course, as if just to torture Jimin, Yoongi claimed he had to "step away from his phone" right after that little message of his, and he never returned to elaborate. And so Jimin was left to suffer as his heart dropped and his mind spun into a panic.

" 'We're gonna talk about boys' ??"

It sounded like such a teenage-girl thing to say, something he probably heard his sister Eunjin say at some point to her friend, who Jimin wouldn't doubt had been intimidated by both his and Jihyun's outward demeanor—the two brothers were nothing like their sweet, amiable little sister.

But all that was irrelevant. The point is, those five little words of Yoongi's were giving Jimin serious anxiety. And the fact that Yoongi said, without even asking, that this would happen at his house didn't help ease that anxiety.

It was too much, too sudden. Jimin had only ever been to Namjoon's house before, and sure, he was a boy, but that was so much different. Namjoon was straight, and Jimin's best friend, who he was comfortable around. And Jimin didn't like him.

He didn't like Yoongi either but the butterflies still tried to eat at his stomach. And they must have been hungry because Jimin was starting to feel sick again.

It was only to be expected. Having gone from believing he was fooling everyone with his "tough, straight guy" act to being asked to hang out with the boy he'd spent so long bullying, to talk about the one thing Jimin had avoided most, and that he had never talked about with anyone, not even himself....

...it was a lot to take in, to be brief.

And it certainly took its time dwelling on poor Jimin's restless mind.

Jimin went to school the next day already knowing he wouldn't be able to focus. And he was right. Even on the walk to school, his brain kept reminding him of Yoongi's text message and did all that it could to keep that sickness in Jimin's gut.

It was stupid. He hated it. Why did he have to make this such a big deal? Because it is a big deal, his conscience told him, you're taking steps forward.

Yeah, towards the pastel boy's house, he shouted back at it. Oh, my gosh, I'm losing my mind.

His lack of focus earned him several stern warnings from his teachers, as well as more concerned comments from his friend that weren't at all helpful.

"You're back to looking seasick on dry land, ChimChim." Jimin pouted at him and Namjoon laughed. "What happened this time?"

"Nothing," Jimin blurted. "Nothing, and it's none of your business."

" 'It's none of your business' implies that there is something."

"Don't you have someone else to bother??"

"Not really." Namjoon shrugged. "Well, I mean I could go over and join Yoongi and his friends agai-"

"Don't."

"Pfft. Okay, so what is it, then?" He put his elbows up on the table and fluttered his eyelashes. Jimin glared at him, but unfortunately couldn't maintain that glare for long as his mind drifted momentarily and softened his tone.

"He...invited me over his house."

"Okay, no, but really-"

"Do you want me to show you the text?"

Namjoon was nonplussed. For starters, he didn't expect Jimin to actually tell him what was up, and secondly the answer he received was not at all what he thought to hear. He knew it had to do with the pastel boy, but this just seemed absurd, given the boy's and Jimin's history.

With an approving nod from his friend, Jimin took out his phone and brought up the short conversation he'd had with Yoongi the night before.

Namjoon read it. And laughed out loud.

And Jimin, blushing, smacked Namjoon upside the head.

"This is why I hate you, and you'll never find love."

"Ow." Laughter still spilling out his mouth, Namjoon wiped away an imaginary tear and struggled to look Jimin in the eye without laughing again. "I'm—ah, c'mon, Chim, I didn't mean it to be spiteful." He pursed his lips in a failed attempt to conceal a grin. "Just—I mean, so this is why you've been off today? Oh, my gosh this is golden. The boy you bullied and insisted you hated with the fire of a thousand suns is now asking you to face your sexuality and talk about bo—wait, why am I laughing, this could be good for you."

At that moment, seemingly out of nowhere, one of Jimin's female classmates shyly approached his table, and Namjoon held his breath as she tried to muster up the courage to speak.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm probably interrupting you, I just wanted to ask you, Jimin, if you had plans after school today?"

And that question alone triggered Namjoon's laughter again, full-force. He didn't mean to offend the girl, in any way, but the wording of her question, and the timing, oh, the sweet, ironic timing...

Jimin clenched his fists and tried not to think about legitimately murdering his only friend.

"Sorry," he said through gritted teeth, all the while still looking daggers at Namjoon, "I do have plans."

The girl apologized, too, and went on her way.

"My sides are splitting, ChimChim, you're killing me here, man."

"Die, then."

*

*

*

*

And so after what seemed like an eternity and a half, the end of the school day arrived and the anxiety Jimin had managed to partially stow away came back out into the open. 

pastel boy:
xxxx xxxxxx xxxx
^ my address, whenever u feel like stopping by is fine, right after school or in the evening, doesn't matter

Jimin swallowed his breath. Distracted by his frantically beating heart, he failed to notice Namjoon hovering over him, reading the message.

"Ooh, he wasn't kidding. This is exciting."

Startled, Jimin swung his fist around and nearly socked his friend in the face.

"Holy crap. Relax, Chim."

"Don't tell me what to do." Flustered, Jimin shoved his phone into the back pocket of his jeans, then his hands into his front pockets. Namjoon watched his friend's face for a moment.

"...no, I'm serious, Chim," he said in a sympathetic tone. "I would hope you'd be excited about this. But you look like you're dreading it."

"...not dreading it. I'm just...really freaking nervous."

Namjoon smiled, letting out a soft breath through his nose. "You'll be fine," he said reassuringly. "It's not like you're being asked to scream 'I'm gay' on the rooftops. This could be fun for you. Turn the word 'nervous' into 'excited', okay?"

He thought about it.

I'm just...really freaking excited.

*

*

*

*

It didn't work. Well, maybe for a short time, but the moment Jimin arrived at Yoongi's front door, he became anything but excited. He wanted to turn around and march right back to his house, up the stairs and into his room where he could sleep and pretend Yoongi never invited him over in the first place. It would be easier that way, right?

Lost in his own thoughts Jimin didn't even register he had just knocked on the door.

He froze in place as it was opened to him. Yoongi was standing there now, still in the same clothes he had worn to school that day—a thick yellow turtleneck and faded blue skinny jeans. His mint green hair was sticking up all over the place, and as if suddenly realizing this, the boy began to pat it down, sighing.

"Hat hair, I was wearing a beanie just a minute ago." He took a step back into the house. "C'mon inside, it's freezing out there."

Even with Yoongi's friendly invitation Jimin was still tentative to step over that little barrier that lay between the outdoors and the pastel boy's house. Yes, he was aware he was being quite dramatic, and no, didn't care.

Eventually he went inside and closed the door behind him.

"You can leave your shoes and coat by the door," Yoongi said, which for some reason caught Jimin off guard. "Y-...is that really all you wore? That jacket can't possibly be warm."

It wasn't. He wore it because his brother had given it to him, and it matched the rest of his dark wardrobe. But Jimin didn't say that, he simply slipped out of the leather jacket and hung it on one of the empty hooks beside the door. Next he took off his boots and lined them up underneath his jacket.

"A short-sleeved shirt, too. Man, you're crazy."

Jimin frowned. "Did you really invite me over just to make fun of me?"

"Not at all." Yoongi stifled a laugh as he made his way over to the kitchen, which was the room adjacent to the front door. "So are you hungry?"

Jimin didn't answer. Because at that moment he became more aware of his heartbeat, more specifically how fast it was, and because of how quiet it was in the house, he swore he could hear it, too.

"...Jimin, you don't need to be so tense," the boy heard Yoongi said softly, tearing him from his daze. "My mom's out Christmas shopping, and my dad and my sister are both working, there's no one else home. So relax, alright?"

Oh, so we're here alone, then. Yeah, that totally helps.

"So are you?"

"What, nervous?" Jimin blurted. Yoongi snorted.

"No, I meant hungry."

Jimin turned his head down and blushed. "Uh, n-no, I-I'm alright."

"Are you? Your cheeks are red."

"You really did invite me over just to make fun of me."

It took a lot of self-control not to laugh at Jimin, but somehow Yoongi managed to hold it back as he once again shook his head from side to side. "No, I'm sorry, Jimin. I'm not trying to make fun of you, I swear, that's not why I asked to come over." Following this statement, Yoongi raised his arms to open an overhead cabinet—he had to stand on his tiptoes, because he, like Jimin, was rather short, and no, Jimin did not at all find the pastel boy's minor struggle cute—where he retrieved a box of snack crackers. Then he closed the cabinet and made his way over to Jimin.

"So where'd you wanna talk? Living room or my room?"

"I'm sorry?"

Yoongi deadpanned. "What was confusing about my question?" He directed Jimin's attention to the living room, which was right across from the kitchen. "There's a comfy sofa in there we can sit on, or my room is fine, too, I mean it's not that spacious but there's enough room on the bed and the floor for us both to sit. It really doesn't matter to me, that's why I'm asking you."

"It...doesn't matter to me, either."

"...are you sure you're feeling alright? Jimin, I don't wanna feel like I'm forcing you into this. You can be honest with me."

"You'd laugh at me if I told you I was nervous."

"I wouldn't, but that's cute. C'mon, let's just go sit on the sofa."

Excuse me?

Unable to find the right words to say—or any words at all, rather—Jimin soon found himself slowly following in Yoongi's footsteps as the boy led him to the navy blue sofa in the other room. There, the mint-haired boy took a seat, shifting his position to sit cross-legged and he urged Jimin to do the same.

In a matter of seconds, the two were sitting close together, facing each other. Jimin felt his cheeks grow warm.

"This is refreshing," Yoongi said. "This side of you, I mean."

Jimin looked away. "I still don't get it."

"Hm?"

"Why you're acting so casually around me. It doesn't make any sense." Suddenly finding himself overwhelmed with frustration, Jimin furrowed his brow and raised his head to gaze intensely at Yoongi. "You gotta slap me across the face or something, I can't deal with this, the guilt is s-"

Yoongi did just that. Without batting an eye. Unfazed. But Jimin was fazed. And he felt the stinging sensation of Yoongi's hand on his cheek linger as Yoongi continued.

"There. We're good now, right? No more questions, I already explained earlier, Jimin. I've been where you are, I know it sucks, and I'm helping you, so shut up about it already so we can talk about what I invited you over here to talk about."

"...boys?"

"Yes. Boys." Yoongi smiled, big and wide. A little bit of his gums showed.

Oh, no. No, no. He's really cute. He's really, really cute.

"So, tell me, Jimin, who do you think is the cutest boy in school?"

"You."

Oh, f***.

Chapter Text

If his face wasn't red before, it definitely was now. All Jimin's nerves had worked together to completely throw off his focus, meaning the slightest distraction or passing thought had the ability to take control of his voice before it passed through his brain. And that was exactly what happened.

"...me?"

Jimin wanted to slam his own face into a machete. Or a brick wall. But a machete sounded more painful.

Yoongi was blushing. Yoongi was. And that made it even worse, and gave Jimin more incentive to get up and locate the nearest machete.

The mint-haired boy, seeming at a loss for words, scratched his cheek, then shyly rubbed the back of his neck as he averted Jimin's gaze.

"Wasn't expecting that answer, uh...thank you."

You idiot, say something! Tell him you didn't mean to say that-!

"You're...welcome."

W h y.

"Uh, to be fair, I'll, uhm, answer the question, too." Yoongi took a couple crackers out of his little box and ate them as he hummed thoughtfully. "Mm...well, probably—and I swear I'm not being biased—I'd probably have to say Jungkook. You know Jungkook, right? Friend of mine. I swear, I don't have a crush on him but he's adorable. Well, Hobi's really cute, too. And Jin. All my friends. Anyway, I, uh..."

He stopped for some reason, and Jimin almost opened his mouth to ask why, but stopped himself upon noticing the color in Yoongi's cheeks returning.

"Uhm...s-sorry, I don't know why I, uh..." He cleared his throat. "...I'm not usually like this."

"Did I make you feel awkward?"

The two made eye contact. Yoongi shook his head.

"Not awkward. Just shy. You sure you don't wanna change your answer, though? Did you just blurt out what you did because I'm the only gay person you know?"

"What?" Jimin's eyebrows twitched. "No, that's not—you're really cute, that's why I-"

Oh, my gosh, can I just keep my mouth shut for the love of-

"You're the first boy who's ever said that to me."

Jimin held his breath without realizing it. Yoongi was gazing down at his intertwined fingers now, the slightest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Sorry, now I'm making this awkward." He looked up at Jimin. "We'll go on to the next question. This is good progress, though."

"What?"

"You admitting to finding a boy cute rather than denying it. Okay, moving on, have you ever had a crush before?"

Jimin blinked. "Not...not that I can think of," he whispered, but tried to think harder. His expression sunk. "If I had one, it faded almost immediately, 'cause I-...well, I don't know...I guess I trained myself to shove away those kinds of feelings, ya know?"

"So you never had a crush then? Not even a small, secret crush?"

Yoongi almost sounded saddened as Jimin shook his head 'no', and Jimin saw it. A little pout, a side glance. A gentle sigh.

"Not even a celebrity?"

"I stopped watching movies and TV shows a while ago. I've forgotten most celebrity names and faces."

"You've really been brainwashing yourself, haven't you, Park Jimin?"

A cold silence settled in the room. Yoongi's eyes were trained on Jimin now, who remained still as still could be, lost in his own thoughts, his own depressing, empty thoughts that brought about a realization with the help of Yoongi's words.

"...I guess I have," he said. The boy sitting in front of him watched as Jimin's countenance washed itself clean of the light it previously held. "I didn't want to be gay. It's more trouble than it's worth, isn't it?"

"That depends on you, doesn't it?"

"No, no it doesn't. It depends on my brother."

"So you're letting him control your life."

Jimin started to open his mouth again but stopped and bit his tongue.

"You gotta draw the line somewhere, Jimin. Why does it depend on h-"

"Did you completely forget about everything I told you?!"

It was a scraping tone, having come from a dark place, a bottled up place in Jimin's heart. Yoongi flinched.

"I'm terrified of him hating me! And the rest of my family, too! Is that so hard to understand??"

"No, Jimin, I-" Yoongi swallowed a lump in his throat. "I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"You say you've been where I am but you can't know exactly how I feel, you can't," Jimin snapped. It came out of nowhere. But he felt nearly breathless now, emotions teetering on a dangerous brink that also balanced his tears.

Oh, how he hated that he was so quick to tears on matters that mattered to him.

Jimin started to move his legs as he prepared to get up from the sofa.

"Jimin, where are you going-?"

"Home." He rubbed his eyes. "I think this was a bad idea."

"Please don't go."

"Why does it matter to you, huh?"

Jimin scoffed as he draped his legs over the side of the sofa and stood up. He glared down at the pastel boy with angry eyes—but a vague type of angry. As in he didn't really know if he were actually angry, or if he wanted to be at all. But emotions act fast. Especially the unpleasant ones. 

"Jimin, I wanted to talk."

"We did. We talked, and you started to cross the wrong border, pal-"

"Borders need to be crossed to get results, Jimin-"

"But I don't  want to, YOONGI ."

He had raised his voice to a point where both he and Yoongi could hear it rattle in their ears—Jimin had a voice like that, though he hardly used it to its full potential. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he yelled that loud.

Maybe it was when his sister had asked him why he was crying, shortly after their older brother had gotten into that terrible fight with his friend.

Yoongi stared at Jimin for a while. Jimin stared back, shoulders and chest rising and falling as his breathing gradually evened out.

"You actually called me by my name."

At this realization, Jimin jerked his head back, eyes widening just a bit. He hadn't meant to. The name slipped out, probably thanks to his brittle emotions getting the best of him. Again. Avoiding Yoongi's gaze, Jimin started to make his way towards the door. He stepped into his boots and slipped them on. Next, his jacket.

Finally, he opened the door and left with a curt "Goodbye, pastel boy."

*

*

*

*

The entire walk home Jimin wore a discomforted expression, one that both his sister Eunji and his mother questioned him about once he entered the house. But he ignored them both and marched upstairs to his room.

Sighing heavily, Jimin collapsed onto his bed.

He felt stupid. About this whole situation. Stupid, upset, but perhaps conflicted most of all.

Jimin took out his phone to text Namjoon. 

me:
namjoon?

Juneberry:
hey Chim what's up? 
u still at yoongi's?

me:
no I'm home now

Juneberry:
oh okay,,
how did it go (^_-)

me:
I think I made a mistake going over there

Juneberry:
what? why?
what's wrong Chim?

me:
I don't know
I don't know I'm just
scared and upset

Juneberry:
I'm sorry Chim...
did he overstep his boundaries or something?

me:
I'd like to think that's the case...
but maybe it's me 
maybe I'm at fault

Juneberry:
well I can't tell u who's to blame but...
I'm here if u need me ChimChim

me:
thx joon

As much as he couldn't stand the guy sometimes, Jimin couldn't deny he was glad to have Namjoon around. His friend might not have been able to relate to him but at least Jimin didn't feel fully alone. And he knew he could rely on him.

Nevertheless, Jimin had always secretly wanted to have someone to relate to, someone he could talk to about things that he couldn't talk about with Namjoon. Yoongi was the perfect candidate. The only issue was that Jimin didn't want to accept that.

Once again he found himself staring at the ceiling, thinking when he didn't really want to be thinking. He thought about the pastel boy. And how maybe, just maybe, he felt bad about having yelled at him. Yoongi had good intentions. He obviously hadn't meant to offend Jimin, so was Jimin being immature for taking it in that context?

Probably. Ugh, I hate this.

He groaned internally and externally, preparing to send Yoongi a brief apology so that hopefully some of the guilt would go away.

He was surprised to find that Yoongi had already texted him. 

pastel boy:
hey Jimin. 
sorry if I said smth I shouldn't have...
I just don't want u to spend the rest of ur life hiding, u know? you'll never be happy like that and no one should have to live like that

Jimin, still upset and conflicted, texted back:

me:
well with all the crap I've put u thru u should want me to live like that

pastel boy
is that what u think of me? I'm not that cruel, Jimin

me:
well I am
if i were u I'd hate me and try to get revenge

pastel boy:
I'll bet the real u is sweet and kindhearted tho

And Jimin stopped. "The real you?"

His fingers froze as he tried desperately to think of a reply but Yoongi beat him to it.

pastel boy:
when ur ready to try taking the mask off again, I'll be here

me:
what if I'm never ready??

pastel boy:
I'll still wait

me:
why??? 
this seems like more trouble 
for u than it's worth

pastel boy:
what can I say 
I'm curious

me:
curious?

pastel boy:
about the real park jimin

me:
ur stupid 
shut up

pastel boy:
lol
I mean it tho 
I'll wait for u park jimin
can we be friends?
Read at 7:54 P.M.

Chapter Text

Friends?

Why would he want to be friends with me??

Jimin couldn't bring himself to respond to Yoongi's text. But he certainly thought about it. All weekend long.

No one, no one, had ever asked to be Jimin's friend. Not even Namjoon. His friendship with Jimin sort of just happened. Which was perfectly fine, but this...

This was strange. The pastel boy was strange.

He had a unique kind of patience. And compassion.

Evidently, Jimin didn't feel as though he deserved either.

But it warmed his sad heart to think about.

"He...wants to be my friend."

He felt like a child. Even more so when he heard himself say those words out loud. But at the moment, Jimin didn't care. Because for the first time in a while, he felt special. And for whatever reason his cold behavior and cruel actions hadn't brought Yoongi to hate him, Jimin was grateful. Really grateful.

His chest felt warm and he didn't know what to think of it.

*

*

*

*

A few days passed and Jimin found the courage to reply to Yoongi.

Via text, of course, because he couldn't be seen talking to the boy casually at school otherwise people would start asking questions. Because people were annoying like that.

He was still at school, though, and it was in the middle of class when Jimin decided to take out his phone and take that step. 

me:
I guess we could try again

He waited anxiously, glancing over at Yoongi and wondering if the boy would take out his phone, too. He did.

pastel boy:
texting in class?
bad boy to the core, aren't u park jimin

me:
why don't u shut up 
min pastel boy

pastel boy:
lol
so what's this about trying again?

me:
don't be difficult or I'll change my mind...

pastel boy:
right right, of course 
so 
my house again? 

Jimin felt a slight bit of warmth in his cheeks. Curse my shyness.

me:
could we talk at the coffee shop this time?
I wanted to get coffee anyway

pastel boy:
sounds good 
coffee date it is then <3

"Date??"

"Park Jimin, is there an issue?"

And once again the urge to smash his face into a machete surfaced, as Jimin now realized all his classmates were looking at him as a result of him having spoken this aloud. He scanned the room with an evil eye in an attempt to mask the flustered redness of his complexion. Not much luck.

"No. No issue, sir."

"Then please be quiet while I'm speaking."

"Yes, sir."

He sunk into his seat, subtly pulling out his phone which he had so nearly dropped a moment ago. 

me:
wtF is wrong with u

pastel boy:
XD what did I do??

me:
don't "XD" me 
u little brat

pastel boy:
oh its cuz I called it a date

me:
I'm starting to hate u more
cheeky brat

pastel boy:
ow 
that's not how u flirt, jimin

me:
tf?
I wasn't trying to??

pastel boy:
I know
but I'll bet u don't know how to

me:
excuse me? 
even if I don't what does that matter

pastel boy:
flirting is a great way to start 
y'know
putting yourself out there 
getting more comfortable 
and besides it's a useful skill if u ever find someone u like

me:
that 
seems unlikely...

pastel boy:
nonsense Jimin
we'll practice ok?

me:
but
I don't 
I mean that's 
I don't know 
if 
...

pastel boy:
u wanna get more comfortable with yourself 
don't u Jimin? 
don't worry I won't make u flirt with me lol

Oh, thank goodness. Jimin let out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the thoughts threatening to pass through his mind right now. 

pastel boy:
so after school? 
golden spoon? 

Jimin hesitated. No, stop, you're supposed to be moving forward. Don't change your mind again.

me:
okay...

*

*

*

*

"That Jimin guy hasn't done anything recently, has he?"

"Suspicious..."

At lunch, Seokjin and Hoseok both eyed Jimin's table in the cafeteria, skeptical looks painted across their faces. Meanwhile Yoongi sat quietly eating his food, not commenting on the matter until Hoseok spoke up again.

"He's not hurting you in secret, is he, Yoongles?" The redhead leaned forward to peer at his friend's face. "It's weird. This is really weird and it's making me uncomfortable. He never leaves you alone. I'm not complaining, it's just...I'm worried."

"Maybe he got bored of it," Yoongi said. He made a brief glance at Hoseok, who sighed in dissatisfaction.

"Again, it just seems weird. What if he's planning something sinister??"

"He's not an evil villain, Hobi."

"That's exactly what he is!"

"I agree with Hobi," added Jin with a resolute nod. "With all he's done to you and for how long he's been targeting you, there's no way a guy like him could suddenly just...get bored of it, right??"

"Right! It's making me uneasy..."

"Let's just forget about it for now, yeah?" Yoongi said softly. He gave the two of them a stern yet somehow gentle look, which shut them up, then shifted his attention over to Jungkook, sitting silently. He lowered his voice to a whisper only the boy could hear. "You okay, Guk?"

Jungkook didn't speak at first. Then, in a voice almost too quiet to perceive, he said, "I'm uneasy, too."

And Yoongi sighed, reaching his hand up to comb through Jungkook's chocolate brown locks.

"Don't you worry about a thing, Guk. It'll be okay."

*

*

*

*

As planned, the two ended up meeting at The Golden Spoon shortly after school let out. Except due to unspecified reasons, Yoongi was a little late, meaning Jimin had no choice but to sit and wait awkwardly at the coffee shop until the pastel boy should arrive.

He wished it didn't have to feel awkward. He used to come here alone all the time. Why did that accustomed feeling have to change now?

Luckily, Yoongi wasn't too late, but Jimin acted as though he had been waiting for hours and glared at the mint-haired boy as he walked towards him.

Slipping out of his winter coat, Yoongi revealed his pink, button-down shirt and an open-front cream sweater that matched his white jeans.

His sense of style is so cute...

Shut up, me.

"You weren't waiting that long, were you?"

Yoongi pulled out the chair across from Jimin and sat down. Jimin rolled his eyes.

"How long I was waiting doesn't matter. The fact that this was your idea and I was left waiting at all is pretty rude, don't ya think?"

"Fair point. I'm sorry, Jimin."

He didn't expect to hear an apology. It kind of hurt a little. "Whatever. Can we get this over with so I can go home?"

"Don't you want coffee?"

Jimin raised an eyebrow.

"You said you wanted to get coffee here, too, right? Are you in a rush to leave?"

"...no."

"Good. Well, I've got an idea."

Oh, that doesn't sound good.

"I told you we're gonna have you try flirting, remember?" Yoongi said, a touch of amusement in his tone. "Well-" He paused to turn towards the counter where a certain barista was cleaning his work station. "Here's an opportunity."

"Taehyung??"

Jimin's eyes stared back at Yoongi in dismay, his heart giving an aggressive knock on his chest due to both embarrassment and panic. Yoongi just nodded and smiled.

"Yes, Taehyung. He's told me he's gay, so it won't be awkward to try a little flirting with him, right?"

"Wrong," Jimin hissed. "I am not flirting with that annoying little br-"

"Park Jimin."

He flinched.

"From the times I've talked with him, Tae seems like a sweet guy, moreover a really lighthearted person who wouldn't make you feel bad about something like this. You understand?"

Jimin hung his head for a moment, pouting before letting out a sigh of defeat. "I understand," he said. "But I...I mean I don't know the first thing about-"

"Just tell him he's cute."

Jimin raised his head abruptly.

"Don't you think he's cute?"

Pursing his lips, Jimin turned towards the counter at the exact moment the barista sported a little smile of pride from having just finished his small cleaning job.

Jimin thought about it for a moment. "Yeah," he said in reluctant agreement. "I guess...I guess he is."

"Cuter than me?"

"What?"

"I'm just messing with you." Yoongi stifled a laugh, reaching across the table to gently push Jimin's shoulder. "Now go. Go tell him."

That little push wasn't enough to get him going. Jimin had to muster up a lot of extra internal strength, personal commitment to get up from his seat, but eventually he was able to do it. And he approached the counter, which to his relief wasn't blocked by any other customers at the moment.

At Jimin's arrival Taehyung looked up with a big smile.

"Heya, Park Jimin! The usual?"

He froze. Didn't prepare myself enough, I didn't prepare myself enough, I didn't prepare myself enough, I didn't p-

"Uhm..." He couldn't make eye contact. Every time he tried, Jimin felt a prick of nervousness in his chest, shutting his mouth. He tried. He really tried, but anxiety gripped his tongue like a vengeful cat. Taehyung watched the boy's face with concern.

"You okay, Jimin?" He asked. "Did you wanna try something different today-?"

"You're..."

The barista waited as Jimin completed the struggle of getting those few little words out.

"I think you're...pretty cute-"

And all of a sudden a shocking thought struck Jimin like a brick to the head, and his eyes widened to their full capacity as he blurted, "W-wait, you don't even know that I'm gay, what am I doing???"

And Taehyung immediately blurted in the most dramatic tone, "You're gay??"

Across the coffee shop, the pastel boy let out a high-pitched laugh that brought instant color to Jimin's cheeks.

Oh, this sucks, this was an even worse idea than I thought it would be.

"Jimin, are you for real??"

Taehyung gazed intently at Jimin, clearly amused by the situation just like Yoongi was, except even more than that he was genuinely surprised by this information and seemed as though his life depended on finding out if it were true. This, needless to say, did not please Jimin, and he was almost tempted to ask if The Golden Spoon had any machetes on hand that he could borrow.

Jimin's breathing left his mouth in a nervous tremble. He groaned and slammed his fist against the countertop.

"If you tell a soul I'll make sure you regret it, Taehyung."

"Of course I won't tell anyone!" Taehyung announced. "But also, can I say something now??"

Jimin gave him a weird look. "What?"

"I think you're pretty hot!"

And once again from across the shop Yoongi's laughter could be heard. And Jimin looked back, hoping to silence the boy with an admonishing glare, but Jimin was the one who was silenced.

Yoongi was smiling that gummy smile, looking Jimin in the eye as he sent the boy a thumbs-up.

Jimin felt his heartbeat quicken. He sent the pastel boy a thumbs-down.

Chapter Text

Jimin had hardly made it back into his house when Yoongi texted him. 

pastel boy:
you did good today :)
even tho you were shy about it 
proud of youuu

He could have taken it as patronizing, or annoying, and because Jimin was Jimin, a part of him did take it that way. But he also took it positively. And he felt just a little bit happy. Even if he didn't admit it to himself, and certainly not to Yoongi, those words meant something to him. 

me:
oh shut up..
u made a fool of me 
and laughed at me

pastel boy:
in good fun :,(
I didn't mean it to offend u 
didn't u enjoy it jimin? 
just some lighthearted fun
and it benefited u 
at least I'd like to think so

me:
...idk 
could've been worse 
I guess

pastel boy:
there ya go :) 
I knew you could do it, Jimin

me:
yeah right...
and I wouldn't rly call what I did 
well 
succeeding

pastel boy:
baby steps are big if u look at them 
from a small and humble standpoint
from an ant's perspective, a child parting their lips is like a chasm opening

me:
geez calm down Socrates...

pastel boy:
okay 
ngl I laughed at that 

Laugh. Jimin's mind replayed the scene of Yoongi's laughter back at the coffee shop, the strangely pleasant noise that filled his ears and the adorable sight of that gummy smile which Jimin had only seen once before.

Adorable. He couldn't deny it. It was downright adorable. Yoongi was absolutely adorable and Jimin couldn't stand it. It made it harder to glare at him, to even stay mad at him.

Even imagining Yoongi laughing made Jimin's heart flutter.

It couldn't have just been him, though, he thought. Right? Yoongi's laugh was cute, just like him, that's all there was to it. It had to be a normal reaction. Or maybe it was because Jimin was still getting used to this whole "being around the pastel boy without having the urge to pick on him" thing. Or something along those lines. 

me:
u rly enjoying poking fun at me...

pastel boy:
can we swap the words 
"poking fun at" with
"having fun with"?

me:
??

pastel boy:
???

me:
>:/

pastel boy:
:D

me:
ur so annoying...

pastel boy:
right
we should hang out again

me:
I'm not flirting with strangers again

pastel boy:
lol 
no we'll put flirting on hold
u got in some practice with that already
I was thinking just something like normal friends would do, like watching a movie or something

me:
friends?

pastel boy:
aren't we?

Jimin's breath got caught in his throat. 

pastel boy:
u kinda avoided the question before 
wasn't gonna say anything buuut
I wanna be your friend, jimin 
can't I? 
or do u still have a grudge against me or smth

me:
no...no it should be the other way around right??
why don't u have a grudge against me??

pastel boy:
cuz for whatever reason I think holding a grudge would hurt more than forgiving u
that is 
if u feel sorry

me:
I
do
feel sorry...

pastel boy:
can I hear it

me:
I'm sorry...

pastel boy:
lol no I meant hear it 
hold on I'll call u 

"What?" 

Jimin's phone began to ring and he nearly fell out of bed. He tried to decline the call but misclicked and pressed the answer call button instead.

Oh, whatever.

"Why did you feel the need to c-"

"I wanna hear you say it."

Jimin pursed his lips.

"I'm not trying to be difficult here," the boy insisted, "but at the same time I think I deserve this much, don't I? And besides, I know you still feel guilty. So this could help ease that."

Jimin blushed. His voice...

"I'm...sorry for hurting you, Min Yoongi."

Jimin couldn't see it, didn't know it, but Yoongi was smiling on the other end of the phone.

"It's okay," he said softly. "Consider it all in the past. And that nickname, too."

"P-...pastel boy?"

"Yeah. I like hearing you call me Yoongi a lot better. It's a nice change. So...friends?"

It still felt bizarre. But Jimin gave in.

"Okay...friends..."

*

*

*

*

"Yo, Jimin, can I ask you somethin'?"

It was Monday morning of a new week, and one of Jimin's classmates caught him just as he was preparing to sit down at his desk. Confused and annoyed at the same time, Jimin faced the boy and quirked an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"You've been acting different lately," the boy, Sojung pointed out, eyeing Jimin's expression.

"Doesn't concern you. Piss off."

"No, for real, though!" Sojung whisked himself around and collapsed at the desk behind Jimin's, which wasn't his. Jimin groaned as he, too, sat down. "Like, you haven't bothered that pastel boy in what seems like weeks! What's up with that?"

"Again, doesn't concern you. Piss off."

"Don't tell me you've gone soft now."

"As if," Jimin scoffed. He turned around for a brief moment only to find Sojung with a skeptical look on his face.

"I'm not the only one who's noticed," the boy said in a quieter voice. "A couple of my friends asked me about it, too, 'cus they know I'm in your class or whatever."

Jimin felt a twinge in his chest. "It doesn't concern them, either," he snapped. "Tell them to piss off."

"I'm just sayin'...someone as infamous as you draws attention, Jimin."

With that final comment, Sojung rose to his feet to make his way over to his usual seat at the front of the room. And Jimin tried to return to his earlier train of thought, dismayed to find it had gone off tracks thanks to the topic Sojung had so kindly brought up.

He didn't consider it. That his actions—or, lack of actions, rather—would be an area of discussion. But then Jimin remembered that people were nosy, and annoying, and they always seemed to love bothering him about things that had nothing to do with them. It was Jimin's fault, really, and he knew that. He stood out as much as Yoongi did, just in his own way. People grew accustomed to seeing him harassing the pastel boy, and some even cheered it on, those heartless scumbags who Jimin didn't think much of at the time, because he was just like them.

But now that Jimin and Yoongi were...friends, no way on earth would the former be actively targeting the latter at school. But with how many people "knew" him and his behavior, it was highly unlikely they would all just shrug it off or even accept "I got tired of it" as an excuse. 

Jimin tried really hard not to think about it. Maybe he would get lucky and it would all blow over before it got too serious.

Maybe. Hopefully. It had better...

*

*

*

*

"Namjoon, be honest with me...has anyone asked you about me recently?"

"In what regard?" Asked the blonde, taking a bite of his chicken stir fry. "Like, four girls asked me if you had a girlfriend outside of the school. And I laughed at every. Single. One of them. Did that ruin my chances of getting any of them to be my girlfriend? More than likely. But do I regret it? Absolutely not."

Jimin deadpanned. "...you really are the worst human being on this planet, aren't you?"

"A bit harsh, but probably." He chuckled. Jimin rolled his eyes.

"I didn't mean that anyway. I meant..." Hesitating, Jimin made a subtle glance towards Yoongi's table, startled to find that the red-haired Hoseok was looking back at him, coldly. Jimin quickly turned back. What the f**k.

"...you meant what?"

Easy. Just relax, Jimin. "Like has anyone...I don't know, commented on my behavior...?"

Namjoon finished chewing his food, watching his friend who stared down at his hands. "...yeah." Jimin looked up immediately.

"What did they say?"

" 'That friend of yours has been weirdly quiet, hasn't he? Ooh, I wonder if he's gay-' "

Jimin reached across the table and smacked the side of Namjoon's head.

"They did not say that last part, you sick jerk."

"The first part, they did, though."

Jimin tensed, looking down once again.

"...Chim, relax," Namjoon said with a sigh. "What on earth could they possibly draw from you being quiet? Everyone's quiet sometimes."

"Yeah, but people gossip," Jimin pointed out bitterly. "A classmate made a comment today asking me if I'd suddenly gone soft. It's noticeable, Joon."

"Tell them to piss off, then."

"I did." Jimin groaned quietly, briefly resting his head in his hands. "It's karma. Karma come back to punch me in the gut. It's just happening at an agonizing rate."

Namjoon could see, moreover hear, the genuine worry present in his friend, and though a part of him did think it was a bit irrational, he could still understand why Jimin would be overthinking the matter. He gave the boy an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, ChimChim. I swear. If the situation blows outta proportion, you can swing by and give me an 'I told you so' punch to the arm. Sound good?"

"...I'll hold you to that, Kim Namjoon."

"And I'll stick by my words, Park Jimin."

*

*

*

*

Jimin received a text from Yoongi shortly after school let out for the day. 

pastel boy: 
is today good for the movie?

me:
movie?

pastel boy:
yeah remember I suggested watching a movie?

me:
well 
yeah I do 
what's the catch tho

pastel boy:
lol what do u mean

me:
first it was talking about boys
then it was practice flirting 
what's the movie got to do with anything

pastel boy:
it's just a movie :/
well, it is related to ur situation in a sense
love Simon, idk if you've heard of it
but I mean that's not why I asked u

me:
?

pastel boy:
ffs Jimin what's weird about friends hanging out??
I mean if u don't want to just say 'no' geez

me:
I didn't say that 
I just don't get u...

pastel boy:
so movie?

Jimin's thumbs hovered over his phone for a moment. 

me:
fine wtvr

pastel boy:
'fine wtvr' 
gosh ur so sweet lol
I'll see u soon then bye

He still felt uncertain, but Jimin decided he wouldn't back out of it. For now, things were still mild. And while they were mild he would continue to gently push himself out of his comfort zone.

But he was being observed even more than he knew. By Hoseok, to a great extent, but to the greatest extent, the quiet and reserved Jeon Jungkook.

The chocolate-haired boy even watched as Jimin left school that day.

Chapter Text

"Welcome, Jimin."

The boy in question was greeted at the door with a smile and a panting dog. Jimin blinked. Yoongi petted the small dog's fur.

"This is Holly," he introduced, holding the toy poodle out so as to hand to Jimin. "She doesn't bite. She used to chew on my hand but she's over that phase. Aren't you, Holly?"

The dog gave a high-pitched bark and Yoongi smiled wider. Again, Jimin just blinked.

"Y-...I don't remember the dog from l-"

"She was sleeping on the floor in my sister's room, that's why," he explained and took a step backward, then gestured for Jimin to enter the house. The boy hesitated too long and had to be yanked inside by the wrist.

"What the f-"

"Look, I'm just really excited to watch the movie," Yoongi blurted. Jimin made a face which expressed the hesitance Yoongi already knew he was experiencing, but the mint-haired boy simply broadened his smile and directed Jimin over to the living room sofa.

The latter got distracted by that smile. He only snapped back into focus once Yoongi started waving his hand in front of Jimin's face.

"Hello, there, space cadet."

He smacked his hand away.

"Mean..."

Shaking his head, Jimin swiftly made his way out to the living room and plopped himself down on the sofa and made himself comfortable; which wasn't difficult, as the sofa cushions were soft and sunk inward in the way Jimin loved. What he didn't love, however, was how quickly Yoongi joined him on that sofa, and moreover how close he sat.

The sofa was small. Jimin had nearly forgotten just how small from the last time he had been here, but now that the two of them were here again, side by side, it all came back.

At least we're not facing each other, he thought in optimism.

"Are you cold, Jimin?"

"What?" At the unexpected question, the boy turned towards Yoongi, raising an eyebrow. It then struck him, upon realizing the boy was looking at his jacket, that Jimin still had his jacket on. He had forgotten to hang it by the door.

Blushing lightly, he slipped out of the jacket and rose to his feet to go hang it up. And Yoongi chuckled to himself as he watched him.

"I wasn't telling you you couldn't wear it inside," he said. "I was just wondering. If you're cold, we have blankets."

"It's fine. I don't get cold," Jimin mumbled, reclaiming his seat.

"Lies. I can already see you shivering."

"Is your family out again?"

"Yup. They're usually out till late."

Jimin pulled his feet up onto the sofa. Again, he didn't feel entirely comfortable being alone with Yoongi, for whatever reason.

"Bark!"

Well, at least the dog is here.

"Holly, go play, okay?"

Jimin shifted his gaze over to the toy poodle, watching as it barked once more then obediently skipped down the hall most likely to play just as her owner had said. And now that she was gone and no longer barking meaninglessly—not that she was a particularly loud or obnoxious dog, but even Holly had her moments—the two were alone again.

Yoongi reached out to retrieve the remote which was on an end table to his right. He switched the screen on. Before Jimin had gotten here, Yoongi had gone ahead and put the movie disk in the DVD player, so now the title screen was staring them in the face. Yoongi made a glance at Jimin.

"...you ready?"

"Oh, shut up, it's just a movie. Push play already."

Yoongi giggled. He giggled. "Whatever you say, tough guy."

And so the movie began without another word—spoken aloud, that is. There were certainly still a handful of words in Jimin's head, but he tucked them away, and his nervousness, and tried to simply relax and enjoy himself.

He and Yoongi were friends. They were friends now. This was normal for friends. Yup. Just two gay friends, sitting close together on a small couch, alone, watching an LGBTQ+ movie. Jimin had heard of Love, Simon before. However briefly. As soon as he learned what the basic plot was he pushed it out of his line of vision, where he wouldn't have to see or think about it anymore. He would never have dreamed of ever watching it. Especially not with another boy, and Yoongi of all people, who, as was stated openly before, was gay.

"Simon's attractive, don't you think?"

He should have known Yoongi would be making these teasing little comments throughout the movie. But oddly enough, they weren't annoying. They did, however, drawn from Jimin an occasional blush, more so the ones accompanied by Yoongi's smiles and/or soft or silent laughter. It was clear he was amused by Jimin's reactions. Although, it wasn't at all in a spiteful way, and Jimin could sense that, and perhaps that was why it didn't annoy him as much as he thought or wished it did.

Another thing Jimin didn't expect was really enjoying the film—like he really enjoyed it. Certain scenes kept his eyes full-on glued to the screen, and yes, he could agree that the actor who played Simon was quite attractive, and seeing how reserved the boy was in terms of expressing himself to others was something Jimin, obviously, could relate to. Greatly.

His wide eyes only left the movie screen when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket—not wanting to miss anything, he quickly took it out to see if it were anything important. 

Jihyun:
whatchu up to lil jim 

Jimin felt his stomach churn. He couldn't tell the truth. In no circumstance. None. So he thought up a quick, reasonable lie.

me;
at namjoon's

Jihyun:
gotcha
just curious as to why u weren't home
k whatever I'll see u later then

me:
right

He breathed a deep sigh of relief, tucking the phone away again and shivering as a chill went down his spine. Yoongi, taking notice of this, casually reached behind him to take hold of the blanket which was draped over the back of the sofa.

And he quietly pulled it down to fall over Jimin's shoulders.

And for whatever reason that, almost as much as the sound of Yoongi's laugh, made his chest feel warm.

He pulled the blanket closer to himself and tried to focus again on the movie.

Luckily, he hadn't missed much, and before he knew it Jimin had once again become fully engrossed in the plot and watched almost unblinkingly. He related too much. Perhaps that was why it gripped his attention so tightly. Some scenes more than others.

At one point a tear spilled over his eyelid without his realizing it. It was Yoongi who picked up the soft yet audible sound of a couple tear drops hitting the sofa.

It made sense. This particular scene, where the main character's family was first discovering about his secret, probably affected Jimin deeply—no, not probably. It definitely did. The proof lay in those few little teardrops, in the subtle quivering of Jimin's lips and eyes, in the way he refused to look away from the screen for the longest time, evidently not wanting to miss a single moment of what he was seeing.

He envied this fictional character and his sweet, accepting family. Of course, Jimin wouldn't say he was ungrateful for his own family, simply that...

...well, he wished things could be different.

Yoongi scooted closer to Jimin on that little sofa and gently put his arm around the boy. And Jimin, too distracted to reject the kind gesture of comfort, leaned into Yoongi and rested his head on his shoulder.

The tender atmosphere really got to Yoongi. Sympathizing for Jimin, he started to comb his fingers through the boy's orange locks, surprised to find how soft they were.

Eventually (sadly) Jimin mustered up his emotional strength again and raised his head, wiping his eyes so he could see the screen through more than just blurry vision. And Yoongi gave a half-smile—proud of Jimin for being able to pull himself together but just the teeniest bit disappointed because he kinda liked having the boy's head on his shoulder...

Throughout the remainder of the movie, Jimin managed to keep his tears at bay. Although close to the end he was afraid he'd start to cry, afraid the main character, after all he had been through, was going to get stood up by the boy he fell in love with.

But then it all came together. The happy ending. And most of all.

The kiss scene.

He didn't know why he hadn't expected it. Like, of course there was a kiss scene. But still. For whatever reason, it surprised him. But what surprised Jimin even more was that his eyes, all on their own, drifted gradually over to Yoongi's lips.

Yoongi had cute lips. Cute, thin, pink lips. Jimin felt his cheeks flush.

I wonder if he's ever kissed anyone before.

"Jimin?"

He snapped back to reality faster than ever before, turning to face forward so abruptly he swore he pulled a muscle in his neck.

What is wrong with me??

"How did you like the movie, Jimin?"

Don't ask me that, I can't think right now. Jimin cleared his throat, shyly rubbing the nape of his neck as he tried to think of a concise answer. "It was..." His gaze traveled over to Yoongi who waited expectantly for his answer. His expression...was so gentle. The mint-haired boy wore on his face such a small smile, but it looked sweet, and sincere, and something else Jimin couldn't describe, but again, it did something to his heart.

Yoongi leaned forward to wipe away a tear stain on Jimin's cheek.

Their eyes met. And Jimin couldn't look away.

And he wondered at that very moment maybe this dumb feeling in his heart wasn't just some natural reaction.

"...good. The movie was good."

The room fell quiet and Yoongi tried to resist grinning at the blatant redness of Jimin's face. It's the kiss scene, he thought to himself. It made him shy.

At that moment Jimin flinched as his phone once again buzzed in his pocket, catching him off guard and not in the good way. Pursing his lips, he took the device out and glanced at the screen.

It was Namjoon. 

Juneberry:
dude
wtf 
Jihyun's at my house rn asking where u r
I told him u were in the bathroom 
u gotta get here fast Chim 

He swore his life flashed before his eyes.

No, no, no, no, no....

me:
Ok, ok 
I'll be there as soon as I can

Juneberry:
ur lucky i caught on, man..
ur at yoongi's arent u ?

me:
I'm leaving

"Jimin, is something wr-"

"I have to go."

"Not again..." Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek as a frown took over. "What did I do this time-?"

"Nothing," Jimin blurted, already in the process of throwing the blanket off himself and scrambling over to the door. "You didn't do anything, I just have to go. Bye."

In seconds Jimin had rushed out of the house. He slammed the door shut and left his jacket behind.

Yoongi sighed.

"...bye, Jimin..."

Chapter Text

pastel boy:
jimin really tho was it smth I said? 
if so I'm sorry 
I thought u were enjoying it 
I don't understand y u left...

The messages sounded genuinely disappointed, and Jimin didn't get it, but at the moment, he didn't have time to reply or even think about it. Shoving the phone into his back pocket, the boy made his way as fast as possible to Namjoon's house and nimbly slipped his way into the backyard by way of climbing over the white picket fence, then entered through the back door which Jimin trusted would be unlocked in the middle of the day. It was. And it was by some miracle that he managed to get in the house at all without Jihyun, who was waiting inside near the front door, detecting him.

Jimin knew there was a bathroom in the basement. So he slyly tiptoed over to the basement stairway and pretended to climb up some steps, then made his way into the living room.

Jihyun didn't suspect a thing. But still, Jimin's heart hammered against his chest with anxiety.

"There you are," his brother said, heaving a sigh. "Didn't realize you took that long in the bathroom."

"I was on my phone," Jimin lied. He cleared his throat and shot an appreciative glance at Namjoon who was sitting on the sofa in the living room. Namjoon just rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Jimin."

At the abrupt realization his brother was in the process of leaving the house, Jimin called out, "Wait, what's the rush? Why'd you come here to get me anyway??"

Jihyun didn't answer until Jimin had also left the house, soon to be standing next to the older's car which was parked right outside. Sighing, he turned to Jimin, then gestured impatiently for the boy to get into the vehicle. "I have to pick the brat up from her piano lessons, and since mom and dad won't be home we're gonna go to McDonald's for dinner. Don't complain, just get in."

"McDonald's sucks."

"You ungrateful little boy."

It was such a huge sweep of relief. It truly did seem as though Jihyun wasn't suspicious of him. This was all just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jihyun didn't know. And for now, that was what needed to happen. Jihyun needed to not know.

It might have seemed ridiculous from someone else's viewpoint. But the issue was, Jimin probably couldn't have gotten away with admitting to simply being at another friend's house. Jihyun knew Jimin to the extent that his little brother didn't have any close friends other than Namjoon, certainly no one close enough that he would be okay with going over their house.

So yeah, Jimin was pretty darn lucky to have Namjoon.

Jimin climbed into the passenger's side of the car and reached into his pocket to take out his phone.

And as his brother put the keys into ignition and started the car, he thought of Yoongi.

And his freaking heart skipped a beat.

*

*

*

*

After picking Eunji up from her piano lessons, Jihyun, as planned, drove them all to McDonald's for dinner, then right back home. And Jimin, again, was relieved. Despite being in the clear, the whole scarcely avoided incident had put him on edge, and he reminded himself that it could happen again in the future if he weren't careful. Perhaps, though, he would know better by that point. Jimin hadn't really been thinking when he told Jihyun he was at Namjoon's. For future reference if the same situation came up again Jimin wouldn't use that same excuse.

(In his defense, though, how could he have known Jihyun was going to show up?)

It was the middle of the evening when they returned. Exhausted, Jimin decided to call first dibs on the shower. So he showered, put on his ugly gray sweatpants and matching sweatshirt and collapsed onto his bed, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Exhausted. He was so. Freaking. exhausted. Lying on his back, gazing up at the ceiling, Jimin once again allowed his mind to drift. And it drifted back to Yoongi, specifically the memories of earlier that day, Yoongi's smiles and teasing comments and laughter...

Those beautiful russet eyes...

The way Yoongi had so tenderly run his thumb across Jimin's cheek to wipe away a tear stain...

He was so caring. And sweet. Annoying, but regardless, Jimin was gradually arriving at a conclusion he didn't want to accept.

The fact that his eyes had lingered on Yoongi's lips after the movie's kiss scene was another contributing factor.

He didn't want to say it. He didn't even want to think it, because it was such a scary thing even in theory, so for it to possibly be true made Jimin's panic meter go mad.

Placing his hand over his chest, Jimin started to breathe slowly, in and out, steadily as best he could, trying to make his mind blank but he just couldn't stop thinking about Yoongi.

This isn't good at all.

He knew it would hurt to say but it hurt even more to keep it in his head. And it was Yoongi's fault, really—after all Yoongi was the one encouraging him to express himself rather than bottling everything up all the time.

That being said, Jimin allowed a little frustration to slip through his voice as he whispered painfully:

"I think I've fallen in love with him."

The sound of it. The sound of those words hanging in the air above Jimin's head, fluttering in his ears like the most obnoxious butterflies... It was odd. It was so incredibly odd. He had never been in love.

And for it to be with Yoongi, of all people...

This was all Yoongi's fault.

"Ugh, I hate him so much..."

It was so much easier to say that. Jimin furrowed his brow.

"I...I'm in love with Yoongi."

His cheeks burned.

This is the worst.

He rolled over to lay on his side.

"I'm in love with Yoongi."

I don't deserve to be, he added in thought. Regret washed over him momentarily. And he knew it would come back to bite him even more later, but right now, for whatever reason, he allowed himself to delve deeper into the idea of being in love.

It was incredibly conflicting. New. But, weirdly pleasant.

His chest warmed at the memory of Yoongi draping that blanket over him—a small but sweet gesture—and of the comforting feeling of resting his head on Yoongi's shoulder. And Yoongi softly combing his fingers through Jimin's hair...

He imagined Yoongi's hugs would be nice.

And kissing him?

Oh my gosh I need to stop.

He didn't, though.

In fact he fell asleep to the thought of kissing that sweet mint-haired boy.

Chapter Text

Jimin was startled awake by the sound of his phone ringing.

In a tired confusion, he propped himself up, then picked up the device and looked at the screen. The caller ID displayed Yoongi's name--well, pastel boy. Jimin hadn't changed it yet. Nervously he answered the call.

"Why are you calling me?"

There was a slight scoff from the other end of the phone. "Wow. Is that really how you answer calls? You weren't responding to my text."

I forgot he even texted me. "So??"

"So is everything okay, Jimin?"

He wasn't expecting that. The sincere concern that Jimin swore he could feel. Not knowing what to say, Jimin said nothing at all.

"You left in such a hurry. I just wanna understand why..."

The events of earlier that day flashed across his mind again, specifically the incident to which Yoongi was referring. Jimin didn't want to lie. He didn't want to worry Yoongi anymore, either. So he explained: "I lied to my brother and I had to cover up for it by running to Namjoon's. I'm sorry...I didn't think it would bother you so much."

There was a pause, then a gentle sigh of relief. "I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything I did," Yoongi said. "This was the second time you ran out of my house 'cuz you were upset, after all."

Guiltily Jimin remained silent.

"So is everything okay? Are you...in the clear, or whatever?

"It's fine," Jimin said.

"Okay. If you insist. I'll see you at school tomorrow, then."

"Okay...bye."

"By-"

"Wait, Yoongi!"

"W-what...?"

F**k, why did i tell him to wait?? "...n-nothing, good night."

"...good night, Jimin."

Jimin hung up. Sat still for a moment. Then promptly slammed his face with his pillow, into which he groaned loudly in frustration and embarrassment - aka the two emotions he had been experiencing way too often as of late.

Jimin concluded that he needed more sleep and did just that. Unfortunately dreamland wasn't the easiest place to avoid one's newfound crush...

Early the next morning, Jimin reluctantly got ready for school as he always did: getting dressed, combing his hair, packing a quick lunch and eating a quick breakfast, and finally brushing his teeth before grabbing his leather jacket and heading out the door.

Except one issue. His jacket wasn't hanging up where it usually was.

And for the life of him, Jimin couldn't figure out why. He always hung up his jacket by the door after coming home; it was a subconscious action by this point. However, it was morning, so Jimin couldn't put two and two together to remember why his jacket wasn't here. Instead, he decided to look around the house briefly, in the living room and his bedroom and even in the bathroom - no luck.

"Jihyun, did you take my jacket??"

"The one I got you?"

"Obviously."

"No, I didn't take it," the older called from his room. "Why would I take it?"

"How should I know? It's just missing."

"Well, borrow one of mine. I should have one hanging by the front door, too. Just take that."

"...fine."

Too tired to argue, Jimin quickly grabbed his brother's brown leather coat off the hook and slipped it on, then left the house. And on a cold, early morning such as this one, Jimin felt he could go for a nice, hot cup of coffee, so started on his way with the plan to make a quick stop at The Golden Spoon. Luckily, this time, no unwanted presences hindered his getting his Wake-up Call just the way he wanted. Extra cream. Extra sugar.

Stepping outside again, Jimin shivered in his coat, which, just like the one he had lost, was hardly adequate for these kinds of temperatures. He took a long sip of his coffee.

"Heya, ChimChim. Nice coat!"

This abrupt exclamation had been made by Namjoon, unsurprisingly, who had walked up to The Golden Spoon right as Jimin exited it. The latter frowned.

"I don't like it," he muttered bitterly. "But I couldn't find my other one, so this is what I'm stuck with."

"You don't like your other one, either, though."

"Exactly."

Namjoon stifled a laugh, shaking his head. "You're such a bucket of sunshine, aren't ya, Chim?"

Without reply, Jimin continued on his way again. And Namjoon followed.

Upon their arrival at school, the two bid a temporary farewell to each other and made their way to their classrooms. Jimin collapsed into his seat. Time crept by. First period was about to start. Yoongi entered the room. Yoongi sat down.

Jimin's phone buzzed. 

pastel boy:
after school, wait for me outside the gymnasium
i don't want ppl to see, they might suspect something, but..
i have what you're looking for

There was no context. No context, and Jimin was still too "out of it" to think logically, and so immediately his heart put ridiculous, flirty images into his head that rekindled his desire to slam his face into a machete.

He's not here to kiss you, get your act together, Park Jimin.

He didn't reply. He had read the message, and Yoongi could see he had read the message, and that was all there was to it.

"Hey, Jimin, lookin' a bit jumpy today." His classmate Sojung commented.

Jimin put his phone away in a gay panic.

"...precisely what I mean. Jumpy."

"I'll jump on your face if you don't shut up."

Sojung just laughed. "Whatever you say, man."

A couple minutes later and class began. Jimin tried to focus. He tried. But he couldn't, because, obviously, he was too busy thinking about Yoongi's text. He knew he was being ridiculous. Nevertheless, as he tapped his foot anxiously, he blamed Yoongi for not being more straightforward.

From time to time he would glance over at the boy during class. Cute Yoongi, with his pale round cheeks, in his pale blue sweater, glasses, tiny, shiny earrings, a semi-concentrated expression...

Jimin caught himself staring and had to quickly turn his attention to the teacher again.

Ugh, I hate this...

The end of the day seemed like it would never arrive. But it did, of course, and as Jimin (im)patiently waited for the majority of the students to leave, he continued to worry over what it was Yoongi wanted him for.

"I have what you're looking for..." He whispered under his breath. A couple students looked at him funny as they passed by his desk, leaving the classroom. His face flushed a little.

Eventually, the time came when Jimin saw it safe to go to that somewhat hidden spot behind the gymnasium. His anxious steps nearly drove him to running. Out of the school building, making several turns, all the while glancing frantically around to make sure no one was following him.

No one was.

Well, no one seemed to be.

Jimin made it to the spot Yoongi had specified in his text. Surely enough, there the mint-haired boy was waiting, school bag slung over his shoulder and another bag held tightly in his hand. Seeing Jimin approaching him, Yoongi opened the bag to reveal what was inside:

Jimin's leather jacket.

"Wh--!" Flustered, Jimin snatched the jacket out of Yoongi's hands, not at all approving of the grin now surfacing in the boy's expression. He couldn't find words at first and just scoffed. "W-..b-...why couldn't you just say you had this?!"

Yoongi tilted his head, still smiling. "Sorry?"

"Don't 'sorry' me!" Jimin exclaimed, stomping his foot. "Your text was very misleading, jerk."

"Misleading?" Yoongi took out his phone to read the message he'd sent, knowing full well the vague wording of it, as it had been intentional. He read it aloud: "I don't want people to see, they might suspect something, but I have what you're looking for." Innocently, he lifted his head again to look at Jimin. "What's wrong with it? I figured you'd connect the dots and realize I was referring to you leaving the jacket at my house.”

"I hate you."

Yoongi gasped dramatically. "This is news to me."

Annoyed as much as he was embarrassed, Jimin hit Yoongi's arm, which only made him giggle in amusement, thus making Jimin's heart do that thing he didn't like. Well, he couldn't say in full honesty that he didn't like it. Really the only part about it he didn't like was that it was difficult to hide. And that he had to hide it at all.

"Well, I have to go, I'll see ya later, Jimin."

Waving goodbye, Yoongi flashed one last smile and took his leave. Meanwhile Jimin just stood still and watched until he left. Then, looking down at the jacket he now gripped in his hands, he sighed deeply. And to himself he muttered, "You know the way I am yet you still treat me like this? Cruel bastard..."

In a few seconds Jimin decided he, too, should get going, so he turned himself around and prepared to begin the walk home.

But he was met with a familiar face. One of Yoongi's friends.

Jungkook.

The boy was standing a short ways off, staring intensely at Jimin though he didn't speak at first. The silence, together with the cold fire burning in that boy's eyes, chilled Jimin to the core. As did the single sentence that fell from his mouth. 

"If you don't stop hanging out with Yoongi, consider your little secret out of the closet, Park Jimin."

Chapter Text

It felt like a heart attack, followed by immediate death.

Truly, those words made Jimin fear for his life.

To think this quiet boy, who had only ever spoken to Jimin once before, would threaten him like this. Would even have the capability of making Jimin feel this terrified.

Jeon Jungkook. He was an enigma.

That day, Jimin couldn't bring himself to say anything to Jungkook. Not a counter-threat, or, more sensibly, a clarification of why he had been hanging out with Yoongi in the first place.

But he couldn't. Because Jimin was scared that he would be ignored, that any little thing he said would be used against him in the worst way. And deep down he really thought he deserved it. For the way he behaved, he didn't deserve to justify himself, because he hurt and bullied an innocent boy, and there was no acceptable excuse for that.

Jungkook was that reminder. That cruel, harrowing reminder, Jimin's fairly recent past which had so quickly caught up to him.

And this, he told himself, was why he shouldn't have allowed himself to fall for Yoongi.

Because now he couldn't talk to him. He couldn't hang out with him. Or even text or call him. Rather, he was too scared to. Jungkook was Yoongi's close friend; it was quite possible, if Jungkook were serious enough about this (and Jimin felt strongly that he was), the boy might at some point get a hold of Yoongi's phone just to make sure Jimin hadn't been secretly talking with him.

Whether or not that was likely, Jimin just couldn't afford to take that risk.

There was so much more he had to lose.

And besides, again, he had known and accepted early on that he shouldn't have and didn't deserve to have fallen in love with Yoongi. So this was his punishment.

Jungkook, the stopping force.

Jimin got home from school that day thirty minutes later than he normally did. He didn't do it on purpose—or maybe, he did, just subconsciously. He was a little hesitant to be home right now. Without a doubt, if his family were to see his expression, they would ask him what was wrong, and Jimin could never tell them.

It hurt. The fear, along with knowing he wouldn't be able to talk or be with Yoongi anymore because of his situation.

Just when it seemed things were going well, and this happened.

But he couldn't bring himself to hate Jungkook. Despite barely knowing the kid, what he did know was that Yoongi and him were good friends.

And for what Jimin had done to Yoongi, he wouldn't have blamed anyone who wanted to get revenge.

Hoseok, and that Seokjin guy, too. Oddly enough Jimin doubted they knew yet about his being gay, but he was still wary of them. Just in case. And being Yoongi's friends, they were more observant of him.

All the more reason to cut off ties with Yoongi completely. 

pastel boy:
let me know when u have time
we can hang out again :)

Would you like to block this number?
Yes    No

Number blocked.

It was for his own safety.

He told himself this, and repeatedly reminded himself of the consequences that awaited him should he ignore Jungkook's warning, yet, the ache was something Jimin couldn't ignore.

He went to bed without eating or showering. Told his family he just felt under the weather. And technically, that wasn't a lie. Because he did feel terrible. Sick to his stomach. Enough to bring him to tears.

Realizing he was back to square one.

He cried himself softly to sleep.

He didn't know why he bothered going to school the next day. But at six a.m. the next morning Jimin was up and getting dressed and ready to go.

He didn't even bother stopping by the Golden Spoon. In fact, in fear he would run into Yoongi there, Jimin took a new route. He still got to school on time. Of course Namjoon was a bit curious as to why Jimin hadn't met up with him like he usually did.

Juneberry:
did u get up late or smth lol
i got myself some coffee 
kinda expected you'd be here so 
i waited a couple minutes before leaving 
u good chim

me:
yeah
i'm at school now

Juneberry:
hm
k wtvr 
talk to u later

me:
right 

Namjoon was another thing. Another potential issue. And Jimin already dreaded the interrogation he knew his friend would have for him concerning this abrupt reversal in his behavior.

He could blame it on Yoongi. Subtly. Maybe say Yoongi overstepped his bounds again, this time in an unforgivable way and Jimin no longer wanted to talk to him. But he wondered if Namjoon would believe that.

Lunch period. At their usual table, Jimin and Namjoon sat eating their lunches, quietly at first. But Jimin wasn't really eating, rather he simply poked at his food since he felt too uneasy to eat, and Namjoon took notice of this.

"Something happened."

Oh, just give me a break, please. "Nothing happened."

"What's with you, then?"

"Tired."

"There's more than that."

"Please leave me alone."

"Don't want to."

"Fine. Don't care."

They both did, though. Especially Namjoon, who knew whenever Jimin said "leave me alone" that something was legitimately wrong. Unfortunately it was also hard to get info out of him once these words were used. So Namjoon sighed and reluctantly went back to eating.

"If you change your mind and wanna talk, you know I'm here."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Oh by the way, I noticed you got your jacket back. Happy for you."

And thus was triggered the memory of yesterday; Yoongi returning the jacket which Jimin had left at his house, followed by Jungkook's threat.

A knot it his stomach, Jimin turned a subtle gaze towards Yoongi's table. Yoongi was in he middle of having a conversation with Hoseok. Seokjin was listening and making several comments. Jungkook sat quietly.

He appeared to be acting the same. They all did. Which made Jimin both unnerved and relieved at the same time.

"Chimchim, did you wanna go sit with them?"

"Absolutely not," Jimin blurted. His voice cracked. He cleared his throat. But Namjoon had heard it.

"If you want to sit with them, Jimin, I'll go with you if that would make it easier."

"That's..." Jimin bit his tongue. "That's not it, I don't care about sitting with them."

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"

It's because he was. Standing up abruptly from his seat, Jimin left the cafeteria and headed straight for the bathrooms, then locked himself in a stall.

He didn't want to sit with Yoongi and his friends. He didn't want to be able to enjoy that friendly atmosphere and not feel like those other three boys despised his very being. No, he didn't want that innocent freedom at all.

L i e s , l i e s , l i e s , l i e s . Y o u  d o  w a n t   t h a t .

But he had to suppress it. If he was going to successfully return to that state of mind he'd possessed before, Jimin had to train himself to bury his true thoughts and feelings. Even if it killed him.

For a moment Jimin held his face in his hands.

And he let himself cry.

Perhaps, he thought, he would take this one day to express the pain. Just to get it all out. Then going forward it would be a little easier, hopefully, to ignore it.

Hopefully.

But it didn't work.

The next day at school, Yoongi tried approaching Jimin, even though he'd made a point beforehand not to in case people would get suspicious. But he didn't care now, because days had passed and Jimin hadn't replied to his texts, and moreover he learned after an attempted call that Jimin had blocked his number.

That was when he really knew something was up. It happened out of nowhere. If it were an accident, he was sure Jimin would have unblocked it after realizing what he'd done. But no, that didn't happen. And so Yoongi came to see he was being avoided. Deliberately avoided.

"Jimin? Are you alright?"

He was just trying to get books from his locker. Yoongi snuck up behind him. Seemingly having materialized out of thin air, he startled Jimin, to say the very least.

But Jimin said nothing to him. He closed his locker and stormed off before Yoongi could get another word out.

Thankfully the mint-haired boy had enough sense in him not to chase after Jimin. Though he certainly wanted to, he didn't want to draw too much attention so he refrained from taking another step in Jimin's direction.

However under no circumstance would he let this be the end of it. He'd find out what Jimin's problem was if he had to pull off every mask that boy had put on again.

Chapter Text

Jungkook's POV

He was a little surprised by Jimin's cooperation. This just proved how frantic the boy was about letting his secret slip.

And that was good. For Jungkook, the more scared Jimin was the better. That fear, he assumed and hoped, would regulate and overall control Jimin to the point where he pushed Yoongi out of his life entirely.

It sounded cruel but it was how he felt.

For the person whose primary goal had been to make the life of Jungkook's dear friend absolutely miserable and difficult, this was suitable punishment.

A part of Jungkook was still in shock. He had never even suspected Jimin was gay. But now that he knew, some things made a little sense; however it still didn't excuse what Jimin had done to Yoongi. All that bullying. And the time Jimin had made Yoongi's cheek bleed.

He had known in his heart Yoongi's dog hadn't been responsible.

It wasn't okay. None of that was okay. Jimin needed to understand that.

By any means.

"Hoseok, Jin, can I talk to you two?"

It was after school one day, a day when Yoongi claimed he had to hurry home because he had a dentist's appointment or something and his father wasn't going to wait for him if he were late getting home. Jungkook saw this as a good opportunity.

He didn't want Yoongi around for this.

"What's up, Kook?" Hoseok asked cheerfully, stopping in his tracks once the chocolate-haired boy had come up to him. Seokjin did the same.

"You don't usually ask to talk to us." Seokjin breathed a soft laugh. "Usually it's Yoongi."

"Well, this is important."

It certainly was a rare sight. A rare sound, too. Jungkook didn't often talk around them at all. Though they all considered each other as friends, Hoseok and Seokjin both knew Jungkook had a special, stronger bond with Yoongi.

With interest piqued, the two boys gave some sort of gesture to let Jungkook know they were listening intently. So Jungkook spoke.

"You know how Jimin hasn't really been bothering Yoongi for a while now?"

"Of course, how could we not?" Hoseok said with a heaving sigh. "It's been weird, but I'm just hoping for the best and trusting he'll keep his distance now. He's done enough damage to Yoongi, it's about time he takes a break."

"For the rest of his life," Jin added. Hoseok nodded solemnly.

Jungkook knew they would agree with him. "Well, I know why," he said. The two boys with him simultaneously looked at him with slightly widened eyes. They didn't say anything, though, as if knowing already that Jungkook would elaborate. "He has a secret."

"Oh, a secret is it?" Jin glanced at Hoseok whose face remained still and fixed in a concentrated state.

"What is it, Jungkook?"

"Jimin's gay."

There was no one else around at the moment. Jungkook had made sure of that, because right now, he didn't want anyone else to know, not yet. Jimin hadn't broken that little rule he had given him, so Jungkook would hold off on exposing him for what he deserved. But Seokjin and Hoseok—especially Hoseok—had a right to know.

Neither of the boys were quick to believing it. But as they both examined their friend's expression and the sheer sobriety of it, they realized this wasn't just some practical joke or even something to spark a rumor.

"How did..." The redhead swallowed his breath and looked intently into Jungkook's eyes. "...Kook, how do you know this?"

"I saw them and overheard them talking together," he explained. "They've been hanging out."

"They have??" Seokjin was utterly shocked by this information and didn't bother to hide that fact, either. And once again he made a glance at Hoseok to check the other's expression—still the same. "Wh–...I don't understand, how and why would Yoongi hang out with that guy?? Does he not remember all the harassment that prick put him through??"

Jungkook's gaze fell to the ground. "I thought the same," he said softly. "And to be honest with you, I still don't trust him. Jimin's reputation is too...tainted. He could turn around...and start hurting Yoongi again. He doesn't deserve Yoongi's kindness. He doesn't deserve it..."

Seokjin placed a gentle hand on Jungkook's shoulder and patted it. "It's gonna be alright, Jungkook. That won't happen again. Rather, we won't let that happen again. Right, Hobi?"

"...right."

And that was the end of the conversation. The three friends started on their way towards their homes, with Jungkook and Seokjin heading in one direction and Hoseok in the other.

Several steps into his walk home he stopped.

He stared at the ground, standing still as a gust of cold wind swept over him.

He took out his phone.

"...Yoongi? Hey...yeah, sorry, I know you have a dentist appointment...oh, okay...well, I was just gonna ask, if you're not too tired after your appointment, do you wanna get coffee or something? ...yeah, I can wait, that's fine. Just call me when you're ready. Okay...okay, bye." 

"Asking me to get coffee after a dentist appointment is kinda weird, Hobi."

"I told you I could wait!"

Laughing, Yoongi pushed open the door to The Golden Spoon, then stepped aside for a moment to let Hoseok go inside.

"So this is the place you were telling me about?"

"Yup," Yoongi said with a nod. He began to approach the counter with Hoseok following close behind. "They're really good. I wasn't expecting to like them as much as that other coffee shop I went to, but they exceeded my expectations."

He wasn't even at the counter yet when a familiar barista gasped in surprise and started waving at him.

"Hi, Yoongi!!"

"Hey, Tae." Yoongi cracked a smile and waved back. Hoseok poked out his head and also waved, so Taehyung did so again. "This is my friend Hoseok. Hoseok, this is Taehyung."

Amused, the redhead bit back a grin. "You already know the staff??"

"Just Tae."

"Oh, a nickname, is it? How cute, Yoongles."

"Are you two going out??"

At Taehyung's eager question, Yoongi abruptly turned towards the barista and furiously shook his head. "No, absolutely not, not even if Hobi were gay."

"That's so mean!"

"I'm just messin' with ya," Yoongi teased, giving Hoseok's shoulder a gentle push.

"So if I were gay you would date me?"

"Hobi, you're being weird, stop."

He laughed, and Yoongi rolled his eyes, returning his attention to Taehyung who been patiently waiting and was still smiling from ear to ear.

"Two medium Wake-up Calls, please." He turned to Hoseok. "You'll like it, believe me."

With the press of a couple buttons Taehyung inserted the order onto the register screen, told Yoongi the total, and seconds later Yoongi and Hoseok were waiting at the receiving end of the counter for their drinks. Taehyung was quick to prepare them.

Once they got their coffees the two friends made their way over to an empty table in the middle of the shop and sat down.

"This place has a relaxing atmosphere," Hoseok commented. He took a careful sip of his coffee. "Ooh, this is good."

"Told ya."

A peaceful quietness settled for a bit after that, with the two just quietly sipping at their coffees, not saying anything until Yoongi released a prolonged sigh.

"I miss this."

Hoseok lifted his eyes. "Hm?"

"You know, spending relaxing afternoons and evenings with you," Yoongi explained with a soft smile. "We don't get to as much anymore. You've been busy with studying and your part-time job. I always looked forward to getting coffee with you—well, except it wasn't usually coffee, because you don't even like coffee."

The silence settled again. Louder this time.

Hoseok offered a tiny, guilty smile and pushed his drink away from him. "You got me," he said with a forced laugh. Yoongi smiled.

"Yeah," he said. "I did. So what's the real reason you asked to get coffee with me? Is something wrong?"

Biting the inside of his cheek, Hoseok sunk deep into his thoughts for a moment and sighed, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. "Well...I guess I just...wanted to know..."

Yoongi tilted his head as he waited curiously for his friend to get his thoughts out. "Wanted to know what?"

"...I just wanted to know why I had to hear it from someone else first."

There was a short pause. Hoseok was still looking down.

"...what are you talking about, Hobi-?"

"You should know what I'm talking about." He looked up now, eyebrows slightly arched in a display of conflicted frustration. Yoongi squinted at him.

"Hobi, be specifi-"

"Jimin, Yoongi, I'm talking about Jimin!"

More silence. Yoongi gripped the sleeve of his sweater.

"What about Jimin?"

The redhead scoffed, tempted to roll his eyes but instead zeroed in on his friend's countenance, annoyed that he didn't see guilt there, but something akin to anger.

"I'm talking about him being gay, Yoongi."

With that comment Yoongi's eyes became flooded with that anger, and it was always so strange and unpleasant to see because Yoongi wasn't the type to get angry often. At least not nowadays.

"Hobi, I don't get why you're saying this to me right n-"

"Are you seriously denying it?!"

"I'm not denying it, I just wanna know how you know!!"

They both reacted to their sudden outburst by looking around the coffee shop, slightly ashamed for having raised their voices. And so they lowered them again, but the tension only increased.

"How did you find out?"

Hoseok remained silent.

"How. Did. You. Find. Out?"

"Someone told us-"

"Us?" Yoongi blurted. "As in you and Jin?"

"Yes, me and Jin! Who else?"

"Who told you?"

"What does it matter who told us? Why couldn't you tell us??"

Yoongi could sense how offended Hoseok was by all this, by his voice, by the look in his eyes.

"I had my reasons."

"Reasons?? Yoongi, the jerk who spent such a long period of time making your life at school miserable turns out to be gay and you just start hanging out with him and don't tell us?"

"Hobi, you tell me this much." Yoongi pursed his lips for a moment, then rested his forearms on the table and leaned closer to Hoseok. "If you had known Jimin was gay before, would you have told people? Huh? Would you?"

Hoseok didn't answer. And the fact that he even had to think about it did not sit well with Yoongi. At all.

"See, this is exactly why I didn't tell you guys."

He was back to feeling conflicted again. Both of them were. Yoongi's breathing was uneven. He pushed back his chair and stood up, visibly shaking now. Hoseok gazed up at him with concern.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving, Hobi," he said, "because it doesn't seem like I'll be able to reason with you about this. I hoped I would be able to. I trusted I'd be able to. After everything that happened before I came out, Hobi, I thought you'd understand. I really hoped you'd understand. That you can't know how it feels, you can't know the circumstances, the pressure, the hardships, until you've stood where I stood..."

Hoseok could so clearly hear the emotion in his best friend's voice, and so suddenly the shame washed over him and he attempted to apologize.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry-"

"Are you?"

They locked eyes. Hoseok felt like he was staring back at the Yoongi of two years ago.

"I am, Yoongi, I'm sorry-"

"I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Hobi. Bye."

Chapter Text

Yoongi didn't know Jimin's address. And now that his number had been blocked, he had no way of contacting him. But he needed to talk to him.

So all he could really do was wait at The Golden Spoon and hope Jimin would decide to come back.

He had to eventually, Yoongi thought. And fortunately, he did. On a late Sunday afternoon, as Yoongi was sitting alone in a somewhat secluded booth at the coffee shop, Jimin walk through the door, looking as tired and despondent as ever. Lucky for Yoongi he was too distracted to notice the mint-haired boy sitting in that corner booth. Jimin went immediately to wait in line to get his coffee.

Yoongi seized this opportunity. As subtly as he could he walked up to and behind Jimin. Then he tapped his shoulder.

Jimin slowly turned around. Not expecting to see Yoongi here at this time of day on a Sunday, he nearly jumped out of his skin and was fully prepared to make a mad dash for the door but Yoongi grabbed his wrist and looked sternly into his eyes.

"Jimin, I know what's going on."

The boy's expression turned ghostly pale. In a split second his steady breathing had become rapid, but upon examining the expression in Yoongi's eyes, Jimin realized running would be pointless and his breath evened out as a result of this feeling of defeat.

He didn't say anything, though. Sadly and shamefully Jimin shifted his eyes to the side, not wanting to face Yoongi but he knew he had to.

Yoongi tightened his grip on the boy's wrist.

"Jimin, let's go to my house, okay? I wanna talk to you."

"I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Well, I'm not either but this needs to happen. Let's go."

"But I want my Wake-up Call..."

"Fine, you can get your coffee and we can talk here."

Jimin pouted, still looking miserably at his feet. To Yoongi's surprise, though, he nodded in reluctant agreement. Yoongi waited in line with Jimin even though he, himself, wasn't getting coffee. He just needed to make sure Jimin didn't plan on running off once he got what he wanted.

After receiving his drink, Jimin was guided slowly over to an empty table. And Yoongi just sighed deeply, not entirely happy that he was about to have yet another serious, unpleasant talk in this same coffee shop. But he was very much aware of the saying, it is what it is.

Not even two seconds after sitting down and Jimin had already shrunk into himself. He wanted to leave. That was clear enough to see.

"...Jimin..."

"..."

"Jimin, it's okay."

"It's not okay." Jimin furrowed his brow. "It's not okay, I can't be around you anymore."

"Why?"

"You said you knew."

"I do know," Yoongi said, "but I want to hear how you explain it."

"I'll be outed if I don't stop talking to you and hanging out with you," Jimin said.

"And tell me why that is, Jimin."

"I'm afraid to."

"Why?"

"If they found out I told you, I could be in trouble."

There was something incredibly suspicious about Jimin's answers. Yoongi scanned the boy's face, hoping to decipher what exactly was possessing Jimin to dodge the question, but he just couldn't figure it out.

Maybe I need to be more direct.

"Jimin."

"..."

"Who threatened you?"

"..."

"Jimin-"

"I won't say."

It made no sense. For Jimin to have any reason to hide who was responsible from Yoongi, as though this information would personally affect him...

Then it hit him.

"Was it Jungkook?"

Jimin's silence was his answer. And that answer hurt.

More than anyone else would understand.

Without another word Yoongi took out his phone and opened his last conversation with Jungkook. 

me:
hey kook
u wanna meet up at my house a little later?
we could watch a movie or smth 
it's been a while since we hung out

Kookie:
sure :)
what time?

He glanced at the time displayed at the top of his screen—5:48 p.m.

me:
6:15 maybe?

Kookie:
ok sounds good 
i'll be there

"Jimin, we're going to my house."

"What?" The orange-haired boy raised his head, confusion and dismay plastered on his face. "Why? I can't-"

"You can, and you will. I'm sick and tired of this already, Jimin."

"...okay."

The two were at Yoongi's house by 6:00 o'clock. And once again, Jimin entered that house only to find it virtually empty. Yoongi wasn't kidding when he said his family was usually out late. Jimin was glad this time, though. It probably would have been awkward if anyone else were around.

Although he still didn't know why Yoongi wanted him here in the first place. He kept quiet. Not knowing what else to do or say, Jimin just kept quiet.

He sat on the couch. Yoongi paced in the kitchen.

The tension was brutal.

Thankfully, the silence didn't last for too long and there was a knock at the door. Yoongi immediately went to answer it. And Jimin, puzzled but curious, turned his head to see what was going on.

Yoongi opened the door.

"Jungkook, hey, why don't you come inside?"

Jimin's heart dropped like a rock.

Several footsteps. Jimin contemplated throwing himself to the floor to hide, but by the time he made his decision it was already too late. Jungkook had seen him.

And now he knew why Yoongi had invited him here.

"Jungkook, I have something I wanted to ask you."

A flip seemed to switch in the boy's head. But he didn't open his mouth right away. He was like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What did you say to Jimin to get him to start avoiding me-?"

"Yoongi, I already told y-"

"I know, Jimin, but I need his exact words." Yoongi fixed his gaze solely on Jungkook. "Kook."

The boy in question swallowed his breath nervously. He had never seen Yoongi like this before. Never wanted to see Yoongi like this.

"I was just trying to look out for you-"

"Look out for me?!"

Jimin and Jungkook both flinched at Yoongi's abrupt increase in volume. His scathing tone almost seemed to claw at the boy standing in front of him. Like a gentle cat who had finally been pushed past his limit.

Jungkook bit his tongue. He honestly didn't know if speaking right now but put him in a better or worse situation.

"Look out for me..." Yoongi shook his head. "Threatening to expose Jimin? That's what you call 'looking out for me'??"

"I was looking ahead," Jungkook said, hoping to justify himself a little. "I...I didn't want to risk Jimin hurting you again, Yoongi. After all he's done, he doesn't deserve-"

"What Jimin did to me in the past is irrelevant, Kook, now is what's relevant." He stopped for a moment just to catch his breath. Anyone could see how worked up he was getting over this. "You know how I feel about this kind of thing, Kook. You, of all people, should know how it feels. So why would you think it's okay to threaten Jimin like that??"

Jungkook didn't have any words. With his first excuse having been shot down, he was only left with pointless stutters and a pit of shame to stand in. And he was in deep.

"Even more than Hobi, Jungkook...I expected more from you..."

"...I'm s-"

"No, don't even say anything," Yoongi cut him off harshly. "I don't wanna hear it. I didn't want to hear it from Hobi, and I really don't want to hear it from you. Just go, Kook. I need space to think about forgiving you two."

He couldn't argue anymore. Not another word was uttered between the two. Jungkook obeyed and left Yoongi's house, carrying himself away with a heavy hole in his chest.

Yoongi stood still for a while. From his spot on the living room couch, Jimin could hear the boy's deep breathing, moreover see just how upset he really was over this.

"...should I leave, too?"

"No, I want you here."

Jimin knitted his brows.

"Please, could you just spend the night? I want you here, Jimin."

His words quivered with emotion, and Jimin could feel it in his own chest, and it hurt him. Yoongi felt betrayed. That much was evident.

Yoongi just needed someone right now.

Jimin guessed that Hoseok and Jungkook were the two Yoongi typically consulted when he got upset about things. But now that those two were the "things" he was upset about, he had no one.

No one but Jimin.

"...I'll stay."

Chapter Text

Jimin didn't know when it happened but he suddenly found himself sitting on Yoongi's bed with the other lying on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

It was so bizarre to see him like this.

"...your room is cute."

"Thanks."

Prior to this moment, Jimin had been oh so briefly introduced to Yoongi's father and older sister. But Yoongi was being impatient and selfish right now and didn't want to share Jimin, who had chosen to stay in hopes of it making him feel better.

So now here they were, in Yoongi's cute, pastel decorated room, with its pale yellow and white walls, wood-paneled flooring, dresser with several Studio Ghibli figurines, some books and paper mâché animals, and a closet which Jimin had no doubt was filled with all of Yoongi's adorable sweaters and shirts and things. Fairy lights were strung across the wall. There was a small shelf attached to the wall above a white desk, both of which held two small succulents each.

Cute, just like Yoongi.

Except now, as Jimin looked at Yoongi, he wasn't thinking about how cute the boy was. All he could see was Yoongi's saddened heart pouring out into the air in the form of an empty stare.

"...Jungkook's gay, too."

In shock, Jimin turned to Yoongi, who hadn't moved, but now, he had on a more resolute expression.

"I think I'm justified enough to say that at this point," Yoongi breathed. "An eye for an eye, you know? I don't usually think that way but I'm just really upset right now. Besides...I know you wouldn't tell anyone."

Yoongi let out another sigh, slowly rising to sit in an upright position. His glasses nearly slid off his nose but he pushed them back up. He glanced at Jimin.

"...you don't mind if I talk, do you?"

"This is your house," Jimin pointed out. "You have first say in things."

"Yeah, but I guilt-tripped you into staying, didn't I?"

"It's fine. I owe you this much."

"...what about your family, do they know you're-"

"I told them I'm staying at a friend's house for the night. I didn't specify Namjoon. If they question me, so be it...I'll get around it..."

Yoongi smiled a bit. Truly, he was grateful Jimin hadn't turned him down. He really would have been alone then.

"Thank you, Jimin."

The mint-haired boy looked down at his hands and intertwined his fingers. Jimin sat still and watched and listened.

"...Jungkook's younger brother outed him to his family about a year ago," he started out by explaining. "For what reason, I can't quite remember...I think they had been fighting or something and Jungkook's brother happened to find out about him being gay, and so he told their parents as a way of venting. And Jungkook...didn't get the best response."

There was sympathy lined in Yoongi's words. No...not just sympathy. A bit of empathy, too.

"He didn't have anyone to turn to," Yoongi continued. "No one who understood him. No gay friends or any friends at all who could even attempt to comfort him. He was depressed, and alone. And then one day, weeks after I started coming to school with my dyed hair and wearing the outfits that I do, this timid boy came up to me...and told me in a tearful voice how much he admired me. I was dumb, I didn't connect the dots at first, but then I realized what he meant. And my heart went out to him."

"That's how you became friends?"

"That was the start, yeah." Yoongi nodded. "He was shy then, still shy now but less so when it's just the two of us. Jin's never been shy. He's a popular guy, believe it or not, it's just a lot of people leave him alone when he's around me. And Hobi's-..."

He got distracted. Lost in his own thoughts. Jimin could see him drifting, but he didn't want to pull him back just yet.

"...Hobi's always been...here..."

There was a somewhat sad smile on his face now.

"...he's been my best friend since elementary school. Can't imagine what my life would be like without that redheaded weirdo..." He stifled a quiet laugh. "Really, he's such an idiot...but he cares about me a lot. He's proved that. You know that rainbow sweater I've worn to school a handful of times?"

Jimin immediately recalled the vibrant, but cute, article of clothing of Yoongi's, and he nodded.

"That was how I came out," Yoongi said. "Walking into school with that sweater, along with my hair which I dyed myself, was how I finally let go of the heaviest burden I had ever carried in my entire life. And Hobi cried when he saw me that day. He cried so hard and I swore he wouldn't stop...kept on telling me he liked my sweater and it looked nice on me...he was overwhelmed, because he'd known there was some reason I had been utterly depressed for years, and seeing me finally come out of my shell was as relieving to him as it was to me. That idiot made me cry, too..."

Jimin tried to think about it. He tried to imagine the scene, the image of a formerly cold and miserable Yoongi walking into school looking how he did right now... Oddly enough it was easier now to picture it. Having heard everything Yoongi had said both to him and to Jungkook had painted clearer that reality which Jimin had initially struggled to believe.

Yoongi hadn't always been comfortable and open and happy. It was just like he said...before, he had been utterly miserable, depressed beyond belief. Suffocated.

Hoseok had been his closest friend through all that despite not knowing the reason for Yoongi's emptiness.

That was why this, right now, hurt so much.

"I thought he would understand."

He sounded so sad. Jimin didn't like that. He'd rather Yoongi be teasing him and being annoying over this.

"Maybe getting sleep would help you feel better."

Yoongi glanced over at Jimin. "What time is it?"

"Almost 11:30 p.m."

The mint-haired boy pouted and sighed for the tenth time that night. "I mean, I don't really think that would help, but I guess I don't really have a better alternative at his point. And I'm sure you're tired of listening to me at this point..."

"I didn't say that..."

"It's okay, Jimin." Yoongi smiled a bit wider this time. "You've been dragged through this, too, so I'll bet you're tired."

He didn't reply this time. Because honestly, Jimin was tired. And still a little scared about the whole thing, but he didn't want to bring that up right now.

In a few seconds Yoongi got up from the bed to place his glasses on his dresser, turn off the light, then returned again to lie down. Jimin was still sitting up.

"Not going to sleep yet?" Yoongi asked. Jimin felt his cheeks turn a little red.

"I...don't know."

"You should. Or are you too uncomfortable with sleeping on the same bed as me-?"

Jimin couldn't take this kind of behavior any longer. Yoongi's out-of-character tentativeness, like he felt he was being nothing more than a bother... In frustration Jimin lay down and pulled blankets over himself, glaring at the boy next to him.

But he couldn't maintain that glare—no, it didn't even last a second. In the soft glow from the fairy lights behind the bed, Yoongi looked absolutely beautiful. And his eyes, which at the moment, weren't looking at Jimin because he was distracted by his own thoughts again...

Jimin was distracted, too.

"...hey, Jimin...?"

"...hm...?"

"...can I ask you a favor...?"

"...what is it...?"

"...could we cuddle...?"

His answers had been spoken fairly absentmindedly till this point. But those last three words, uttered in such a soft, adorable tone, on top of the realization that Yoongi was gazing directly into Jimin's eyes with a look that whispered, please...?

Jimin felt his face flush deeply.

"If you really don't want to, it's okay," Yoongi said, almost sadly. "I understand if it would make you uncomfortable, but..." He paused, eyes closing for just a moment. Then he looked at Jimin again. "Right now, I don't really think I'll be able to sleep like this. And forgive me, I grew up spoiled by Hobi. He used to cuddle with me whenever he could tell I was depressed..."

Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek.

"...which was often."

Jimin honestly was feeling overwhelmed with sympathy right now, and he couldn't handle another second of Yoongi's sad, true stories, even more than he doubted he could handle cuddling with the boy.

He still didn't believe he deserved to be in love with Yoongi. But this, Jimin told himself, would be for Yoongi's benefit.

"I don't mind."

With that concise response, Yoongi shifted his position so that he could slip one hand under Jimin and pull the boy close to his chest. Jimin tensed up, his body flooding with warmth as he felt Yoongi's arm gently wrap around his waist.

"Is...this okay?"

Jimin's heart pounded against his chest. There's no way he can't hear it. There's no way... "I-it doesn't matter-"

"Are you sure?" Yoongi whispered. "I...really don't want you to feel uncomfortable, Jimin..."

"I'm not uncomfortable..."

"Well, that's good. 'Cus I'm quite comfortable."

He gave Jimin a tight squeeze. Jimin's heart leapt.

"You can put your arm around me, too, ya know."

"W-what?"

"For maximum cuddle efficiency, both people are required to participate."

"You're being ridiculous. You're teasing me."

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't do those things, now would I, Jimin?"

He couldn't see Yoongi's face, but Jimin assumed the boy was smiling that cheeky yet somehow innocent smile of his. And Jimin was weak to the mere thought of it.

Tentatively he slipped one arm under Yoongi's torso, then wrapped the other around him to pull him even closer than he already was.

Once Jimin got past the sheer embarrassment he felt about the whole situation, he actually started to relax in Yoongi's arms, and he quite enjoyed the steady beating of the other's heart. It felt so nice, and warm, and...secure.

"...hey, Yoongi...?"

"Hm?"

"...I think you should forgive Hoseok and Jungkook. I don't want to be the reason for you fighting with your closest friends. Besides..." Jimin let out a soft breath and nuzzled into Yoongi's chest. "...if I'm being honest, though I get why you were upset with them, I don't blame them at all. I mistreated someone they care very much about...if I were them I wouldn't have been happy with it, either..."

Yoongi pondered Jimin's words in the quietness that followed them. He didn't have to ask to know the boy was still mad at himself, probably agreeing with everything Jungkook had said.

He still wasn't happy with the way his friends handled the situation. But, taking Jimin's explanation into consideration, Yoongi reminded himself, at least they had good intentions.

Even if they hadn't been using their heads. At all.

"Thank you, Jimin. Good night."

"Night, Yoongi..."

Chapter Text

He woke up the way he fell asleep.

Held securely in Yoongi's arms.

And Jimin just did. Not. Want. To move. Yoongi's arm was still clasped around his waist, one leg between his own, one hand loosely pressed against the back of Jimin's head, fingers tangled in the boy's orange hair. He could hear Yoongi's gentle breathing and still felt his steady heartbeat, as his head was still against the other's chest...

Still a little sleepy, Jimin tightened his grip around the boy's torso, feeling his cheeks flush with color but he didn't mind because he figured Yoongi was still asleep. Then Jimin felt Yoongi's hand move, fingers dragging lazily through the boy's orange hair as it moved down to rest on the other's neck. Jimin flinched. Yoongi stirred awake.

"...morning..."

One word, and Jimin entire face burned red. Yoongi's deep, groggy, raspy morning voice...something Jimin never once thought he'd hear in his life, but certainly something he wasn't complaining about hearing, either.

Yoongi gradually (reluctantly) peeled away from warm, cozy Jimin to sit in an upright position. His mint hair, Jimin could see now, was sticking up in random places, and though he tried to smooth it down, it didn't work. He sighed and began rubbing his eyes with his wrists as Jimin watched in adoration.

The boy's shirt was a bit wide and low-cut at the opening, allowing both his collarbone and an inch of one of his shoulders to peek out. A small pout was perched upon his lips.

Yoongi truly was the cutest boy Jimin had ever seen. He didn't catch himself staring before Yoongi did.

"I probably look like a mess, don't I?" He sighed again and shook his head. Jimin also shook his head.

"No, you look alright."

At this, Yoongi slowly turned his head to face Jimin. The tiniest little smile popped up, and if Jimin had been more awake, he might have noticed the pink dusting Yoongi's cheeks.

"...mm." He glanced at Jimin's shirt, then made a face at it. "I didn't even realize," he began, also noticing the boy was still in his jeans from yesterday, "you never asked to borrow anything to wear. Wasn't that uncomfortable to sleep in?"

I didn't notice, either. I was too distracted by the fact my crush was cuddling me. "N-no, it's fine. It wasn't uncomfortable."

"You're sure? You're not just saying that 'cus you don't want me to feel bad?"

Stop being so sweet and considerate... "Really, it's okay."

Regardless Yoongi still made a face that suggested he was skeptical of Jimin's words. Sighing, his eyes traveled over to the alarm clock sitting atop the desk beside his bed. Jimin looked at it, too. 

6:28 a.m. Yoongi's alarm was set to go off in two minutes. He stretched out his arm and shut it off before that could happen. Then, with a pout upon his lips, he faced forward again, appearing somewhat upset at a certain realization, which he soon voiced.

"School."

Jimin had forgotten. In his drowsiness, along with being sidetracked every so often by his glances at Yoongi, the thought had slipped his mind, and so sharply did Jimin feel a sudden ill feeling wash over him.

School. The first school day since his secret had been shared amongst Yoongi's closest friends.

Doubts and fears flooded his heart. They knew now. Three people other than Namjoon and Yoongi, who Jimin trusted, knew about his little secret. And that still terrified him.

His hands trembled a little as he tried to carefully peel the blankets off his legs and get out of bed. Yoongi could see that change in him, the strong hesitance at the remembrance that he wasn't going to be able to fool those boys any longer. He dreaded facing them, no doubt. Or at least dreaded the thought of them holding his secret over his head like well-deserved blackmail. 

The thing is, Yoongi was fairly confident that wouldn't happen. Seokjin wasn't one to intentionally step out on his own to cause harm to someone, and truthfully neither were Hoseok or Jungkook, but Yoongi had more confidence in those two now that he had given them both a stern talking to.

Still, he felt Jimin's fear was completely reasonable. In an attempt to comfort him, Yoongi reached out to place his hand on Jimin's shoulder before the boy stood up. Jimin craned his neck to look back at him.

"I'll stick with you today."

Jimin furrowed his brow slightly.

"I mean, if that's okay." He paused, glancing away for a second. "I'd completely understand if you didn't want me to. I mean, there's no question people would question me being around you...so it's up to you, Jimin."

His voice was filled with such tenderness and sympathy. And his eyes, the way he held Jimin's gaze, the soft pocket of compassion tucked within them that he swore he could feel in his chest...

Yoongi was perfect—well, of course he wasn't perfect. No one was. Yoongi lost his temper, got impatient at times and Jimin had witnessed both of these things in the time the two had been friends. But still. To Jimin, nonetheless, Yoongi was perfect.

This was only going to make it even harder to fall out of love with him.

"It's okay. I'm tired of avoiding you at school anyway."

This earned a smile from Yoongi, who patted Jimin's shoulder almost as a way of saying, I'm proud of you. And he was. He was proud that Jimin was taking forward steps, and this, he knew, was a major one. He could already feel the stares of the people at school, the obnoxious questions and accusations, the judgmental expressions.

Jimin could feel them, too. Yoongi knew this.

"Do you need to head back to your house to get your things for school?"

"I'll text Namjoon to bring them for me," Jimin replied. "Our houses aren't too far from each other."

"Oh, okay then. That's good. Do you...wanna get breakfast at The Golden Spoon?"

"That's fine."

Yoongi draped his legs over the side of the bed. Then he reached for his phone. 

||You have (12) new messages from Hobi.||

||You have (9) new messages from Kookie.||

||You have (3) new messages from Jin.||

||You have (2) new messages from Riyeon.||

He only opened the messages from his sister.

Riyeon:
u retreated into ur room so quickly yesterday
was that boy ur boyfriend? 
you've only ever had hoseok and Jungkook over in the past
not tryna be nosy 
just curious

me:
not my boyfriend
just a friend 
sorry, i was kinda upset yesterday
didn't feel like talking

Riyeon:
it's ok

me:
did dad say anything about it

Riyeon:
he assumed the boy was ur boyfriend 2 lol

me:
well he's not
be sure to let him know for me before u guys leave for work
he never checks his messages

Riyeon:
i'm sure he knows yoongles
you'd tell him first if u got yourself a boyfriend

me:
right 
i'd definitely let him know
that's why i want to make sure he doesn't think i kept it from him

Riyeon:
such a father's boy u are

me:
go back to sleep why are u even up
u don't have work till 12

Riyeon:
true
well have a good day yoongles
talk to u later

me:
bye

Yoongi set his phone beside him. "Sorry, I was just-......Jimin? Are you okay?"

He was shaking more noticeably now. For the same reason as before. Except now, the fear had begun to evolve into vivid imaginations, worst case scenarios, and essentially everything that could possibly go wrong today. Without saying anything, Jimin got to his feet. Yoongi quickly did the same and hurried over to the other side of the bed, where he took hold of Jimin's wrist before the boy could make it to the door.

"Jimin. It's gonna be alright. I swear."

Jimin gradually started to nod, but his expression was still sadly troubled.

"Can I hug you?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna hug you."

So he did. Before Jimin could retreat, Yoongi drew him in for a hug, briefly, but firmly, holding the boy close once again.

Pulling away, Yoongi flashed one more smile of encouragement, then said, "I'm gonna get changed real quick, then we can go, okay?"

In response, Jimin promptly blurted, "I'll wait outside."

Two seconds later he was out of the room, and Yoongi heard the sounds of Jimin making his way down the stairs, soon followed by the distant closing of a door. Yoongi bit back a smile.

"He's cute when he's shy..."

As planned, the two stopped by The Golden Spoon, each ordering coffee and a pastry to go along with it. Then they walked the rest of the way to school with few words exchanged.

Jimin did want to say something, though. He wanted to tell Yoongi he looked cute all bundled up in his blue scarf and winter coat, beanie tucked over the tips of his ears. He looked warm and cozy and Jimin loved that.

But he was a little too shy, and more so still too worried about what would happen that day at school, to think about much else.

Surely enough, even upon arriving at the building, people were already looking. Including Namjoon, who had been waiting by the gate with Jimin's school bag around his shoulder.

And Namjoon thought about cracking a joke about the two being together, but upon noticing the despondent expression on his best friend's face, he stopped himself.

Jimin took the bag as it was held out to him. "Thanks, Joon."

"...no problem, Chim."

Then he looked at Yoongi, who gave a nod as a silent form of acknowledgement and greeting. Namjoon did the same.

Moments later and Jimin and Yoongi were both making their way into the school building. Side by side.

Surprisingly, no one said anything to Jimin or Yoongi directly at first. Naturally, though, they gossiped, and Jimin did all that was in his power to do to block out any and all voices. And since listening to music with his earphones was the only thing he could do, that's what he did.

Yoongi was used to hearing gossip about himself so it didn't make a difference to him. He just felt bad for Jimin, who was clearly on edge about the whole situation and he had every right to be.

Yoongi plugged in his own earphones when Jungkook walked into the classroom. 

At lunch, Jimin sat at his usual table with Namjoon, and with both boys' permission, Yoongi joined them.

This is where the stares really became noticeable. Even without looking, Namjoon could feel them, too. But he wasn't personally bothered. Just for his friend's sake.

The same went for Yoongi. Sitting across from the boy, Yoongi attempted to start a conversation with him that would hopefully deter Jimin's mind from making him feel worse than he already did.

Meanwhile Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jungkook sat at their usual table as well. Except it hardly felt "usual." Without Yoongi there it almost felt as though they were being exiled, pushed into an unfamiliar space as they were left to watch Yoongi speak and gaze tenderly at the very same boy who had bullied him for as long as anyone could remember.

The guilt settled deeper. Even in Seokjin, who hadn't told anyone or made Yoongi mad like the other boys did. He just felt bad for thinking so harshly of Jimin. Then again, he still believed himself and his friends had a good reason for thinking the way they did. But it wasn't a good enough reason.

They acknowledged they were wrong. That was the important part. Jungkook and Hoseok, especially, had immense difficulty looking away from Jimin's table, hearts beating in an unpleasant manner every time they caught sight of Yoongi smiling at the boy.

Even without being able to hear their conversation the two could tell Yoongi was trying to cheer Jimin up in some way.

Yoongi was smiling. Jimin was trying to look less depressed. And Namjoon was there to push food onto Jimin's plate and make comments about how he'd try his best to cover up for Jimin if anyone ever came to him with questions and suspicions.

And Jimin felt a little better thanks to them.

Chapter Text

The end of the day arrived with no one having questioned Jimin or Yoongi about why they were suddenly acting like friends. To most, it was simply too shocking a sight for them to even be near each other, and for those who had witnessed Yoongi smiling and speaking softly to the boy...

Well, it was a bit much to take in.

Despite having just gone there that morning, Jimin and Yoongi both decided to go back to The Golden Spoon—as much as they loved it for its great coffee, it was also just a place to relax and wind down. So they went there together, few words exchanged as they walked.

Upon arrival, Yoongi held the door open for Jimin who made his way to wait in the short line at the counter. Taehyung was working today.

"Afternoon, Jimin!" He beamed. "The usual?"

"Make that two," Jimin answered. "Thank you, Taehyung."

That soft thank you shocked the barista, but he tried not to show it to avoid bothering the clearly tired Jimin.

In a few minutes Jimin brought their two coffees over to the table Yoongi had reserved for them. And he sat down.

They were expecting a peaceful afternoon at this point.

Not long after Jimin had taken the first sip of his coffee, a student from his school entered the coffee shop. And he happened to notice Jimin and Yoongi sitting together at that small table.

He walked towards them.

"Jimin."

The boy flinched, turning his eyes towards the speaker. As did Yoongi. Both of them recognized the student as Kim Younghyun, their classmate.

"This sure is a sight," he said, raising his eyebrows as he stifled a laugh. "Never thought I'd see the day you voluntarily hung around the pastel boy without trying to push him or his things to the ground. What gives, huh?"

Yoongi wanted to snap back at him. But he waited, just in case Jimin wanted to stand up for himself.

"It's weird." Younghyun shook his head in pity. "Everyone thinks so, you know. It happened out of nowhere. I mean, I'm sure you knew that would happen. You made yourself a reputation, Jimin."

"I know."

"Trying to tear it down now?" The boy chuckled. "I mean, you could've found another way. This is probably gonna do you more harm than good, if you ask me. Really, watch yourself, Jimin. If you're not careful, he'll turn you gay, too-"

Yoongi pushed his chair back and abruptly stood up. Younghyun looked at him with puzzled, irritated eyes.

"What's your deal, pastel boy?"

"Get the hell away from him."

Yoongi's harsh tone took Younghyun aback. He squinted at the mint-haired boy.

"Tryna play hero, are you?"

"No, but if you want I'll spit in your face."

"Why would I want that??"

"I dunno, that's just the vibe I'm getting from you right now."

Clearly agitated, Younghyun began to grit his teeth, glaring at Yoongi who wasn't at all intimidated by the boy being taller or more fit than him.

"You've got a lot of guts for a bratty gay kid."

"Wow, thanks." Yoongi put on a big smile. "And you've got a lot of guts for a brainless chap. There are a lot of stupid people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. Now do you mind taking your opinions elsewhere? I'm in the middle of enjoying my afternoon with my friend."

Younghyun was almost speechless. "Why should I do what you tell me?"

"Oh, I'm just trying to be generous," Yoongi said. "I mean, you don't wanna take any chances, do you? If you're around me, you might turn gay, too. That's how it works, apparently."

Now he was speechless. It was like a volcano erupting inside his head, but Younghyun, being in a public place, couldn't bring himself to even raise his voice at Yoongi. So instead he stormed off helplessly.

Yoongi released a prolonged sigh. He didn't sit down yet, but instead slowly turned to Jimin with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Jimin," he uttered in a quiet voice. "He'll...definitely think you're gay now. I should've approached that differently..."

Jimin stared at Yoongi for a moment. He swallowed his breath. "N-no, it's okay," he insisted.

Then he paused for a bit, thoughts drifting.

"In fact, that was...kinda hot."

It didn't register immediately. Those words. But once they did, Yoongi's wide-eyed gaze shot up to meet Jimin's, only to find the boy with half-lidded eyes and the corner of his mouth in an absent-minded upward curve.

"You standing up for me like that...it was pretty attractive."

Yoongi blushed furiously, all at once feeling his cheeks catch aflame and he was powerless against it. He tried to grasp at words before they escaped him. But all chances for him to play it cool were erased once Jimin rose from his seat and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, Yoongi."

An instant K.O.. Yoongi's heart threatened to tear through his rib cage right then and there. He had to act fast.

"Y-you're welcome, I'm just gonna go get, uh, a p-pastry to...to go with my coffee. Be right back."

So he darted over to the counter just as one customer had finished making their order. Taehyung was already there trying to act like he didn't see what had just happened, because no, he totally wasn't watching and definitely had not witnessed Jimin's sweet gesture of appreciation.

"How can I help you, Yoongi?" Taehyung asked, miserably failing in his attempt to refrain from grinning. Yoongi pursed his lips and fired the cheeky barista a warning glare.

"Listen, I can't take your teasing right now. I need serious help."

"What ever do you mean?" Taehyung questioned, feigning innocence. "In need of another coffee?"

"Oh, stop it, please." Yoongi heaved a sigh of frustration and hit his head against the counter. "I just need to stay here until my heart calms down. Holy crap, I've never panicked like this before..."

"...what ever do you m-"

"Cut it out, I know you saw."

Taehyung stopped. Turned his head. Snorted. Then faced Yoongi again. And he leaned in to whisper:

"That was the cutest freaking thing I've ever seen, Yoongi, and if I weren't working right now I would probably start squealing but I am a professional. So consider my composure: in tact."

"Well, mine's not."

"Yoongi, do you like Jimin?"

"No. What? No, of course not. Do I?"

"I think that answers the question."

"No, it doesn't....does it? Oh, my gosh, kill me, I can't go back over there. I've already made a fool of myself."

"Ask him out!"

"No."

"Why not??"

"Shut up, you're not being any help. Other customers are getting in line now, just pick a random pastry for me, I don't care what it is."

"Will do. It's on me. Two of them." Taehyung extended his hand to pat Yoongi's shoulder. Winking, he gestured at the end of the counter, and Yoongi had no choice but go there to wait.

Once he received the donuts Taehyung had so kindly picked out for him, Yoongi returned to his table and took his seat across from Jimin.

"What were you guys talking about?"

"Spirited Away again," Yoongi blurted. "Great movie. 11/10. You should watch it."

Jimin cracked a smile. "Okay, I'll make a note of it."

That smile. Small, but sincere, and eye-catching to say the absolute least.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you smile."

Just like that, it disappeared.

"Sorry-"

"Whoa, hold on, 'sorry'?? Why are you apologizing?"

"...don't know."

Yoongi groaned in frustration, a bit more dramatic than he intended, but in his defense, he was all sorts of 'thrown off' right now. So he cleared his throat in an attempt to shake off that feeling, which surprisingly, worked a little better than he thought it would. In reality, it had nothing to do with him clearing his throat, but rather the expression on Jimin's face changing suddenly. His attention had shifted toward the coffee shop's entrance as the little bell dinged. And before even turning around Yoongi had a gut feeling it was going to be another idiot come to address the whole situation of them hanging out.

But that wasn't it.

It was Jungkook. Yoongi glanced at Jimin. The boy looked ready to bolt. But he stayed, even as the same person who started this whole mess walked up to them, head hanging low.

He didn't say anything at first. None of them did. But then Jimin and Yoongi heard Jungkook sniffle.

"I'm sorry." His voice cracked and he sniffled again, still not lifting his head. "Both of you. I shouldn't have said what I said to you, Jimin, I was just afraid of something happening to Yoongi again. And Yoongi, I'm sorry for using that as an excuse. I should have told you. And you're absolutely right, I should have known better. I'm so sorry. Hoseok is, too. I think he's waiting with Seokjin at your house. Please don't be mad at him, Yoongi. This is all my fault. I'm sorry for letting you down."

A tear fell from one of his eyes, and though he was still looking at the floor, Yoongi could see it. Sighing, he got to his feet once again and wrapped his arms around Jungkook, who made no hesitation to hug him back.

"I forgive you," Yoongi said, sighing as he patted Jungkook's back. "Quit your crying, you're in public..."

"Don't care. You're mad at me-"

"I just said I forgive you. And Jimin does, too. Don't you, Jimin?"

Jimin nearly jumped as Jungkook's eyes found their way to his. But he soon collected himself and nodded. "Of course," he said. "Though I owe an apology to you, too."

Jungkook, not bothering to wipe away his tears, tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm sorry for hurting your friend, Jungkook."

All hostility had vanished in both boys' eyes at this point. Now they gazed at one another with a mutual understanding. Cleansing empathy.

"How did you know we would be here, Jungkook?" Yoongi asked, catching his friend's attention. 

"You mentioned this place to me before," he explained. "And Hoseok told me you've been coming here a lot. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to try."

"Smart boy." Yoongi chuckled and tousled Jungkook's hair. "Hey, since you're here, you might as well try their coffee. It's really good, you'll love it."

Tentatively, Jungkook agreed, and soon began to make his way over to the counter where conveniently two people had just stepped away from.

And once he was there he froze.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

Immediate shutdown, triggered by the up-close view of the person who Jungkook deemed might have been the most attractive boy he had ever seen. Cute, from his smile to his eyes to his sun-kissed skin to the way he raised his eyebrows whilst patiently waiting for Jungkook's answer which, at this point, wasn't go to be here any time soon. He tried. But Jungkook would sometimes get nervous when ordering at any restaurant or shop that required him to speak to an individual, so the fact that this particular individual happened to be quite pretty didn't help.

Eventually Jungkook gave up and hurried back over to Yoongi.

Yoongi immediately pushed him back.

"Nice try, kiddo."

Flustered, Jungkook tugged at Yoongi's sleeve, clenching his teeth as he tried to hint at why he no longer wanted to order. Yoongi knew why. He just pretended not to.

"Hey, Taehyung, this is my friend Jungkook. Just tryna ask for your number but he's shy, isn't that right, Kook?"

Jungkook whisked himself around hastily to deny Yoongi's claim, devastated to discover the barista wearing a shy, but quite pleased, smile.

"Really? No boy's ever asked for my number before." Forcing a laugh, Taehyung nervously rubbed the back of his neck, and Jungkook could no longer find it in himself to clarify that his friend was only messing with him.

A few minutes later and Jungkook was walking away from the counter with a free coffee and Taehyung's number written on the cup.

This was Yoongi's "getting back at him," he thought.

Chapter Text

Things were cleared up now.

With Seokjin and Hoseok having also made their apologies, the latter of which probably wouldn't have stopped rambling if Yoongi hadn't interrupted him with a hug, the misunderstandings were over with. And the following day at school, Jimin was a bit less panicked to show himself. Naturally, he was still extremely nervous. But it was a more subdued feeling and not nearly as bad as before since he had more people on his side.

That day at lunch, Jimin humbly bowed in front of Seokjin and Hoseok, apologizing to them just as he had to Jungkook for what he did to Yoongi.

And he and Namjoon officially transferred to Yoongi's table. Namjoon sat beside Hoseok who was next to Seokjin, and Jimin took the empty spot next to Yoongi who was beside Jungkook.

Things were comfortable. At least for the time being. And Jimin was okay with that.

"So winter break is almost here~" Seokjin chimed at one point. "You know what that means~!"

"No, I don't know," Namjoon said, poking his head out nosily. "Do tell."

"I throw a Christmas party every year at my house since my parents go out on Christmas Eve," he explained. "Not a ton of people, just friends and people I trust not to wreck the place. Except Yoongi never goes 'cus he's a big meanie-"

"Jin, how many times do I have to tell you," Yoongi interrupted with a sigh of exasperation. "I just like to be home during the break. It's nothing against you."

"I know, I know." Jin also sighed, placing his elbow on the table to rest his chin on his hand. "You're not a party person. But I am. No alcohol, though! My parents raised me right!"

Hoseok snorted. "Is that what you call it?"

"You're uninvited."

The redhead gasped dramatically. "What?! No! I can't miss out on another Uno tournament!" He then glanced at both Jimin and Namjoon. "I'm what the reigning champion. Three years, going strong. Never suffered a punishment."

"Yeah, but you've given plenty," Jin huffed. He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"That's true. What did I make you do last year?"

"Put on lipstick and kiss the floor."

Namjoon stifled a laugh. Well, he tried. But it came out as a snort and certainly did not go unnoticed by Jin. The boy leaned forward, peering across the table.

"Got somethin' to say, Mr. Kim?"

"Nope." Namjoon cleared his throat. Smiling, he looked back at Seokjin for a moment, nodded, then turned around again to laugh. And Hoseok laughed, too.

"See this guy gets it!" He clapped his hands once. "It's freaking funny!!"

"It's not that funny!"

"It's kinda funny," Namjoon said softly.

"Oh, yeah??" Jin huffed indignantly, glaring at the boy sitting two seats away from him. "Well, how 'bout you come to the party, and you'll lose in Uno, suffer one of Hoseok's punishments, and then see who's laughing."

"I'll probably still be laughing," Namjoon said with a shrug. "I laugh at a lot of things."

"Including girls asking me out..." Jimin muttered to himself. Yoongi heard him and chuckled under his breath.

"So I'm invited then?" Namjoon asked, amusement dripping from his tone.

"Sure, why not." Seokjin turned his attention toward his lunch and shoveled the rest of his rice and pork into his mouth. "Jimin, if you're interested, I guess that's okay, too-"

"Ew, wait till you're done eating to talk, Jin, you're disgusting." Hoseok cringed.

"Hush, you."

"Uhm-"

Jimin paused to consider the question asked of him. For starters, he was a little surprised Jin had asked him, but also kind of happy because it just showed that Yoongi's friends were willing to warm up to him now. However, Jimin still wasn't comfortable enough with the idea. Sure, Namjoon would be there, but Yoongi wouldn't, and Jimin would rather him be there if he were going to be hanging around Yoongi's friends.

"Thanks, but I'll pass," he said after some time. Seokjin quieted down enough to hear him. "Really, I appreciate the offer, though, but...I like to relax at home during the holidays, too."

"Oh, it's okay," Jin assured him. "Gosh, the way you're talking right now is almost unrecognizable. Who are you and what have you done with Park Jimin?"

Jimin shrunk into himself.

"Ah, I was just kidding-"

"Jin, you bully," Yoongi hissed. He was about to drape his arm around Jimin's shoulders as a way of "comforting" him, but stopped himself after considering the fact people might get the wrong idea if they saw.

Jimin had said he was okay with being seen with Yoongi. But for Jimin's sake, Yoongi really didn't want to give people reasons to think the boy was gay.

So minimum physical contact at school was something he would have to keep in mind.

"I'm sorry, Jimin, I didn't mean it like that," Jin said with a sigh. "I'm just not used to you not being so aggressive. It's not bad. And if you don't want to go to the party, that's perfectly fine. On your behalf, I'll make sure your friend suffers a massive defeat enough for the both of you."

"Confident, aren't you?" Namjoon smirked.

"Yes, I am."

"Jin, you've literally never won, though."

"Shut it, Hobes, there's a first time for everything."

"Mm. I'm not letting you steal my title as reigning champ, though. Get your lipstick ready."

"Why does it always have to involve me kissing something?? Why can't I just do the Macarena like Taemin? Or do an anime villain impression like Jackson?"

"Because Taemin and Jackson are cool, I'd never make them do something as embarrassing as kissing the floor with lipstick."

Seokjin tried to bite back at his friend again but only ended up grinning from ear to ear, because in reality he wasn't mad, and Hoseok's little punishments only made the game all the more fun and exciting.

Namjoon was looking forward to it. 

A few days later and school was over until early January of the next year. With winter break having arrived, many people were already in the process of putting their plans and ideas into action. Jimin, however, aside from Christmas dinner with his family, didn't have any plans at all. Neither did Yoongi.

It was the morning of Christmas Eve.

Jimin groggily rubbed his eyes, sitting upright in bed as he took his phone in hand.

You have (1) new message from pastel boy.

pastel boy:
morning, jimin

It was only now than he realized he had never changed Yoongi's contact name. So he did just that. 

Save this contact as "Yoongi"?
Yes  No

me:
morning

Yoongi:
what's up

me:
nothing
i just woke up

Yoongi:
ah okay
plans for the day?

me:
none
i already told u
i usually just stay at home the entire break
my brother goes out often
when they're not working or busy with other things my parents socialize 
and even my younger sister goes to the mall or her friend's house and hangs out 
but i stay here and do nothing

Yoongi:
sounds exciting

me:
shut up
what about u
plans?

Yoongi:
not really
actually i don't typically do things either
winter break is just an opportunity for me to catch up on sleep or do nothing

me:
sounds exciting

Yoongi:
right
except i just found out something today

me:
what

Yoongi:
so apparently my sister is throwing a party here at our house
cuz for some reason she has off 
but my dad works...
so yeah she thinks she's got the house to herself 
and i love her to death but i really don't want to be here while she's having the party...
it's probably gonna be super loud and there's gonna be a bunch of people who i don't know ugh

me:
...i'm sorry to hear that

Yoongi:
no i'm sorry you shouldn't have to deal with me complaining..
it just doesn't sound like a good time 
and i would normally just ask hobi or jin or jungkook to stay at their place but they're all going to be at a party too
which starts at like 7
which i think is the same time riyeon scheduled her party to be
i don't know what i'm gonna do 

An idea popped into Jimin's head. And he honestly couldn't believe himself for it, but there it was, fluttering around in his head just waiting to be set free—maybe it was because he was still tired. Or because he really did feel bad for Yoongi.

Or both. But mainly because he was still very tired.

me:
if it weren't for what i said earlier 
i wouldn't be saying this now 
but maybe you could come over

Yoongi:
wait are u serious? 
what about your brother. 
or the rest of your family?

me:
they won't really be here 
like i said we do christmas together
but christmas eve everyone kinda just does their own thing 
jihyun's gonna be going to a party of his own with his friends 
my parents were invited to some social gathering 
and eunji is going to her friend's and won't be back till tomorrow morning

Yoongi:
so
essentially what ur saying is
it's ok if i hide from my sister at ur house

me:
i mean...
i can't believe i'm saying this
but yeah
but only because my family isn't gonna be around

Yoongi:
you're a lifesaver jimin
thank you so much

me:
...wtvr

Yoongi:
wait hold on

me:
...what

Yoongi:
your family won't be home at all

me:
well between the hours of 6-12 pm they won't
possibly later idk
you'll have to leave before then

Yoongi:
of course, of course 
just 
i had a bright idea just now 
a really bright idea

me:
it's probably not that bright and u should probably rethink it before u say anything

Yoongi:
no, no it's good i swear 
so like 
what would u say
park jimin 
to the idea 
of a makeover?

me:
you're kidding

Yoongi:
no i'm not!
this could be fun, jimin
think about it,,
i could bring over some of my clothes 
you could try them on 
i'm sure they're much more comfortable than what you usually wear 
and we're practically the same size and everything so i don't doubt they'd fit u

Jimin thought about it, just like Yoongi said. Though honestly, it was hard for him to think about at first. Considering his own wardrobe, he couldn't imagine wearing anything like what Yoongi wore on a daily basis. Those cute sweaters and shirts and beanies.

But Jimin wasn't going to lie, either.

Even though he was a bit hesitant and nervous, he definitely did not hate the idea.

Forward steps.

It was just like Yoongi said that one time:

"Borders need to be crossed to get results, Jimin."

Well.

This was gonna be one heck of a border.

me:
fine

Yoongi:
awesome
can't wait
what time is safe to come over?

me:
everyone should be out of the house by 6

Yoongi:
:))
i'll see you then jimin

Jimin set his phone down beside him, staring in silence at the wall for about solid minute.

"...what did I just agree to?"

Chapter Text

"Hi."

"...hi."

It was a little after 6 p.m. now, and Yoongi was standing at Jimin's doorstep carrying way more stuff than Jimin had been expecting. Not only that, but the mint-haired boy appeared a bit too excited about this. He had on a big smile, eyebrows raised and seemingly fixed in a position that said, c'mon, let me in and let's get started already.

So Jimin took one tentative step to the side, allowing Yoongi to enter the house. And he quietly closed the door behind him.

"Jimin, this is gonna be great, I brought over some of my favorite outfits, you're gonna love 'em—where's your room?"

Clearing his throat, Jimin stepped past Yoongi, leading the boy over to the staircase, then up those stairs, and a little ways down the hall. Then he slowly turned the knob and pushed open the door to his room.

Yoongi made no hesitation to walk over to the bed and drop everything he had been carrying with him. And if Yoongi had lived any farther away than he did, Jimin might have called him both crazy and an idiot for taking so much. But instead, Jimin just stared at it for a while. And Yoongi stared at him.

"You ready?"

Jimin, shyly, looked away from Yoongi's bright expression. "Why do you look so excited..?"

The mint-haired boy sighed with minor disappointment. "Oh, lighten up, Jimin," he said. "This is supposed to be fun. And I am excited. Jungkook's never agreed to anything like this. He might be gay, but in terms of style he's your typical 'famous sports brand' kind of guy. But that doesn't seem like you at all."

"How would you know??"

"Because I'm not like that. And you're a lot like me."

Not satisfied with that response, Jimin pouted and shifted his gaze to the side, a little frustrated that Yoongi could see through him so well without even trying. Then again, by this point he was used to it.

"So are you ready for your makeover?"

He couldn't bring himself to say no now. So with a casual nod from Jimin, it began.

And it began with Yoongi first removing from his bags all the clothing items and accessories he had brought. Sweaters, pastel shirts with cute designs, jeans, jackets, even beanies and a beret.

"Holy crap, there's so much here..."

"I got carried away." The boy offered an innocent shrug, then proceeded to carefully observe everything he had set out, eyes sweeping over each individual item, and he hummed thoughtfully. "I think..." He picked up a soft white cotton shirt. "This, I usually wear with..." He picked up an open-front, dandelion-yellow sweater with buttons down the left side. "...this. And most jeans should go with it. Faded or dark blue?"

Jimin tensed up upon realizing Yoongi was looking at him again, waiting for an answer. "U-uhm, I guess...faded?"

"Faded it is."

To finish it off the selection, Yoongi took one of his beanies, cream in color, between his fingers and added it to the clothes he now had in his arms. And with a smile on his face he handed them over to Jimin.

"All yours. Ah, well-" He paused. "-not to keep. Just to try. But you knew that."

"Right."

It was a bit much to process. Even just thinking about wearing these. Again, he didn't hate the idea, not in the slightest, it's just that there were a few things that made this situation embarrassing to him.

First of all, Yoongi was in his room.

Secondly, they were alone. But he was a bit more used to that now than he had been before.

Thirdly, just the thought of wearing Yoongi's clothes made him feel shy.

Lastly, Yoongi was still looking at him.

"Do...do you mind?"

"Hm?"

"Turn your back or something..." Jimin said softly. "I don't want you watching me change."

"We're both guys, though," Yoongi pointed out.

"We're also both gay," the other countered. Yoongi nodded slowly.

"Okay, okay, I get it." He cracked a smile and got to his feet, then walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down. "There. Better?"

"Better..."

It still took some time for Jimin to get himself moving. Slipping out of his current outfit, those tight black jeans and charcoal grey t-shirt, and into Yoongi's pair of faded blue jeans, soft cotton shirt and the sweater and beanie to go with it.

Everything fit perfectly. And comfortably.

And it all smelled like Yoongi.

Catching himself softly smelling the sleeves of the sweater, Jimin felt a blush surfacing on his cheeks, but he didn't care. Yoongi's clothes. He was actually wearing Yoongi's clothes.

"What's taking so long? Need help pulling up the zipper or something?"

Caught off guard and mortified by Yoongi's question, Jimin almost swore at him, but caught himself and instead snapped, "What the heck is wrong with you?!" —which in turn triggered a hearty laugh from the mint-haired boy, who waved his hand in the air as if to say, just kidding, just kidding...

Still, Jimin had to take a moment to regather his composure. It wasn't only because of what Yoongi said. He was also just a little nervous for Yoongi to see him like this.

In an attempt to relax himself, Jimin kept in mind the possibility that he didn't even look good in these clothes, or that they didn't look like "him." Maybe Yoongi would change his mind about continuing the makeover.

Without saying anything, he made his way over to the other side of his bed where Yoongi had been sitting with his back turned to him. Upon seeing the boy approaching out of the corner of his eye, Yoongi turned to face him.

"...wow."

He wasn't even trying to hide it. The red on his cheeks. And he was staring. Blushing, and staring at Jimin with an awestruck expression.

"...I can't even come up with a joke right now. I'm gay, and you look absolutely adorable, Jimin. Just...wow."

His brutal honesty only made the state of Jimin's heart worse. He honestly wanted to take the coward's way out and cancel the makeover himself, say 'no' to trying on any more outfits or being here with Yoongi any longer, but the innocent, romantic feelings he harbored for the boy convinced him to stay. Nevertheless, he was still a bit overwhelmed right now.

"S-...should I try on something else now-?"

"In a minute," Yoongi answered in a quiet voice. "Just..." Biting the inside of his cheek, he stood up, then looked at Jimin from head to toe one more time. And a small smile took form on his lips. "Since I'm encouraging you to be more open and honest with yourself," he began, "I'm doing the same. You're really cute. Really, really cute, Jimin. And...and in my honest opinion, I love how that looks on you. It looks more like what the real Park Jimin is like. Sorry if that sounds grossly cheesy...but you get what I'm saying."

Jimin gave a hesitant nod. As his heart hammered against his chest, he tried his best not to tear up at Yoongi's words. They were nothing short of sweet. Heartfelt.

"Are you okay, Jimin?" –came the mint-haired boy's gentle voice of concern. "Do you...wanna try something else on now? Or should we skip right to the makeup?"

"Makeup??" Jimin made a face, at which Yoongi couldn't resisting laughing.

"Yeah, I brought some," he said, gesturing at a small box on the bed. "Not much, and honestly I don't wear it too often but sometimes...I dunno, it's kinda fun. Nail polish, too. Is that okay?"

"Whatever is fine..."

"How about you try on a couple more things, then we'll get out the makeup?"

"...that's fine."

With Jimin's approval, Yoongi happily returned to the array of clothes not yet tried on, and picked out another outfit: this time, a long-sleeved black and white striped shirt, a baby-blue fuzzy sweater, and a pair of jeans mid-calf in length.

Jimin accepted them and changed, a little more quickly this time. And once he was finished, he again made his way over to the other side of the bed to present himself to Yoongi.

"...do you like it?" Yoongi asked.

"Hm?"

"The clothes, Jimin." He chuckled. "Do you like the style or would you prefer something a little gayer?"

In confusion, Jimin tilted his head to one side, which only made Yoongi laugh even more. And without waiting for Jimin to ask what he meant, he got up again and went to retrieve his rainbow sweater which he had kept in one of his bags rather than taking it out. Jimin's mouth fell open a little.

"It's okay if you don't want to," Yoongi spoke softly, gazing at the sweater he seemed to hold with great care. "I just brought it in case you would be interested. This sweater means a lot to me, you know. I mean, I already told you the story. I'll spare you from having to hear it again, but-"

"I'll try it."

It drew a tender smile from him. And for that reason, Jimin was glad he agreed.

So one more time they went through the process of Yoongi turning his back as Jimin changed, into that rainbow striped sweater, but he kept on the jeans he was already wearing.

Then he stood in front of Yoongi for the third time.

A look of fondness radiated from Yoongi's eyes. "Looks good on you."

"Does it...?" Jimin looked down at himself, smoothing out the wrinkles in the sweater and pulling it down a bit. "I'm not really sure how I feel about it..."

"You don't like it?"

"N-no, I do, I just meant...it looks a lot better on you."

Yoongi pursed his lips, trying not to laugh or smile but the latter peeked through. "Are you flirting with me, Jimin?"

"I could ask the same of you..."

Yeah, well I was, kinda. "No matter, sit down, then." Yoongi patted the floor in front of him. "Makeup time."

Jimin gradually lowered himself to sit on the floor with Yoongi. And so began the process. The mint-haired boy took out the small box containing basic makeup supplies: foundation, eyeliner, brushes, and suchlike. In that box he also had stored the nail polish he mentioned a little earlier. Just two bottles, one silver and the other blue.

"Just a heads up, I'm no makeup professional," he said, taking in one hand a bottle of liquid foundation, and in the other a brush. "Like I said before, I hardly even do this, and I'm too lazy to watch tutorials so I apologize in advance if I do a mediocre job."

With that, Yoongi started to apply the foundation, carefully, as smoothly and evenly as possible over Jimin's face, and all the while Jimin had to remain still, but he didn't mind. 

This atmosphere. Sitting here quietly, closely with Yoongi. It felt peaceful. Ideal. The only thing that could have made it more ideal was if at this time, they could have been...closer.

But Jimin couldn't. Whatever this lingering guilt was in his heart, this aching feeling of self-doubt, the lack of feeling that he deserved to be in love with Yoongi.

Yoongi deserved better, he thought. So much better.

At the same time, he really did not want to push Yoongi away. Doing so in the past pained him. So. Badly.

It was such a terribly conflicting feeling. But right now, Jimin didn't want to think about how much it would hurt for Yoongi to be with someone else. He was happy being next to him right now. He wanted to take advantage of that.

"Foundation done. Should I apply the blush now? Or just find some way to make you blush?"

Jimin frowned intensely at him, annoyed at just how easily Yoongi made him do just that. And of course, as it always did, his reaction made the mint-haired boy smile with glee, that cute little gummy smile that made Jimin's heart flutter.

"Blush done." He giggled. "Sorry, Jimin, I'm a terrible person for enjoying teasing you. Uhm...how about..." Looking around him, Yoongi soon reached for the two bottles of nail polish he had earlier set aside. "We'll just skip right to this: blue or silver?"

"I guess...silver-"

In the distance the boys heard a door shut.

Jimin's heart stopped.

Everything stopped.

"Jimin? You home?"

His eyes were fixed in a permanent state of trembling, opened to their widest capacity, flooded with fear. The footsteps from the first floor echoed in his head like reverberating earthquakes.

"Is that your brother?"

"It is."

Yoongi's eyes also widened. "I...I thought you said-"

"I did, and he was," Jimin blurted in a confused panic. "He wasn't supposed to be back till much later. What is he doing here now??"

"Jimin, just calm down-"

"I can't, I can't possibly calm down. I don't have time to change out of this, a-and the makeup, and, and you-"

Jihyun's voice called out again. Jimin broke.

"Yoongi, help me."

He was almost to the point of tears. Yoongi, himself, was shaking a bit, but he couldn't turn Jimin down in his current state. So he took action. "Just put everything under the bed. The clothes, the bags, everything."

He and Jimin both did just that, furiously sweeping up each and every thing of Yoongi's and shoving it under the bed, which was empty because Jimin didn't store anything under there.

They were able to hide all the clothes and accessories and makeup in time. But the issue of Yoongi being here, and Jimin still wearing Yoongi's vibrant rainbow sweater as footsteps started to scale the staircase, was still present. Under the bed was too small and didn't have enough room for the both of them.

But there was still Jimin's closet.

Yoongi took the boy's hand and hurried him over to the closet, pulling them both inside and closing the door as quickly but as quietly as he could.

Seconds later, the door to Jimin's room opened.

"Jimi-...oh, he's not even here? Didn't say he was going anywhere..." A heaving sigh. "Shoulda said something. How am I supposed to know where he keeps his cologne..."

They could hear him searching outside the closet. Rooting around Jimin's dresser, in his drawers.

Meanwhile Jimin was teetering on the edge of a breakdown, breathing heavily, and struggling in desperation to keep that breathing quiet.

He didn't prepare for this. He didn't prepare for this at all.

Yoongi could feel the dread, swore he could hear Jimin's frantic heartbeat...in the sliver of light slipping through the crack in the door, he could see the boy's facial features quivering uncontrollably.

And he was legitimately afraid Jimin would start to hyperventilate.

Yoongi, internally, was panicking for Jimin's sake. He didn't want that to happen. He just wanted the boy to relax and stay calm until Jihyun found what he was looking for and left.

So he acted impulsively.

And pulled Jimin's face closer to kiss him.

It was rushed, obviously, and because Jimin hadn't been expecting it, he tensed up, inhaling sharply through his nose. But thankfully, and to Yoongi's relief, he didn't make a sound.

His plan was working.

He continued to kiss Jimin, slowly moving his lips against Jimin's soft, warm lips, hoping to relax him, ease the boy's nerves even just a little.

He wasn't expecting Jimin to kiss back. But whatever atmosphere had settled over them, they both were stuck in it now. Yoongi dropped one of his hands down to grip Jimin's hand, only to find it still shaking. But it relaxed in his grip.

Their faces burned with each collision of their lips. Their hearts beat wildly in sync.

Outside the closet, Jihyun finally found what he had come here to borrow of Jimin's. And he left. The two heard him make his way again down the stairs, then out the front door.

And they both hastily exited the closet.

Jimin, in exhaustion, collapsed to the floor, as if suddenly the realization of what had just happened hit him like a truck going at full speed. Yoongi, the same. Now that the danger of Jihyun's presence was no longer looming over them, that impulsiveness that had taken over just minutes ago spited him. He could think more rationally now.

Seeing Jimin with his eyes wide again, breathing heavy again. He felt guilty. For a number of reasons.

"J-Jimin, I'm...I'm sorry," he stuttered, already feeling regret. "I was just trying to calm you down, I shouldn't have...w-we can just forget about this, o-okay?"

He saw tears surface in the boy's eyes.

"...no...no, I don't want to just forget about it..."

It was such an obviously torn voice, but Yoongi was a little too dumb and distracted to connect the dots.

"Jimin, w-"

"You need to go, Yoongi," Jimin blurted, just as those tears started to spill over. His foundation gathered with them. "I'll give you your things back tomorrow, just go."

"Jimin, w-"

"Just go."

He couldn't bring himself to argue with the boy. Feeling he had done enough damage, Yoongi did as he was told.

And left.

I can't help but love you 
even though I try not to 
I can't help but want you 
I know that I'd die without you

Ruelle: War of Hearts

.

Chapter Text

Namjoon was a little disappointed Jimin wouldn't be going to the party, but it wasn't enough to change his mind.

Unlike Jimin, he did rather enjoy parties. And Hoseok and Seokjin and his friends sounded like fun people, and Namjoon had nothing better to do on a Christmas Eve night.

That being said, after receiving the address and time of Jin's party, Namjoon showed up at the door at 7 p.m. with a bottle of soda.

Hoseok was the one who answered.

"Well, look who it is."

"It's me," Namjoon chimed, holding up the soda. "Didn't know if I was supposed to bring anything so I just did."

"How generous of you. Would you care to come inside?"

"Don't mind if I do."

Hoseok accepted the bottle of Coca Cola from Namjoon, then stepped back to let him inside.

Upon entrance, Namjoon found that only a couple other people were here, and the party host, currently still decorating, was teetering on the edge of a metal, foldable chair whilst trying to attach streamers to the walls. Amused, he stood by and watched the boy's struggle.

"I can feel your beady eyes on me, Jackson, and I don't appreciate it."

"I'm not Jackson, though."

Alarmed by the voice, Seokjin spun his head around, recklessly turning his torso as well and as a result nearly slipped off the chair. Namjoon held it steady.

Breathless, Jin scoffed. "I almost forgot I invited you."

The other boy smiled softly. "Do I look like the type of guy to back down from a challenge? You swore I'd lose in Uno or something. I gotta prove myself."

Jin rolled his eyes and went back to fixing the party streamers. "Yeah, okay. You've got your friend's tough-guy attitude, I see. Or, formerly tough-guy attitude, I should say."

"Mm....do you need help?"

"Absolutely not."

"If you say so."

Shrugging off the rejection, Namjoon decided to boldly approach one of the other people here and introduce himself. One boy was sitting on the living room couch, his feet up on the sofa and relaxing as though he lived here. Chocolate brown hair, an ugly Christmas sweater, shorts, and bare feet...

"Wild guess, are you Jackson?"

The boy lifted his eyes eagerly upon hearing his name. "The one and only!" He beamed. "I don't know you, though, sorry."

"Namjoon." He held out his hand and Jackson happily shook it, which pleased him. "It's nice to meet you."

"You're Jin's friend?"

"Well, can't really say that," he replied with a quiet laugh. "I don't know him that well yet. But he seems cool."

"He is," Jackson said with a nod. "A really swell guy. I look forward to Christmas Eve 'cus of him now. He's so much fun! And Hoseok, too. But Jin's laugh is the best, I'm tellin' ya."

"I'm sure it is."

"Ever play Uno before?"

"A few times."

"Oh, well you've never played Uno like Jin's Uno."

"So I've heard."

"Hoseok made him put on lipstick and kiss the carpet last year!"

Hearing the brief story a second time didn't make it any less funny. "So I've heard."

It really did sound like a fun time. Namjoon was glad he decided to come here. After ending the conversation at a comfortable place, he made his way over to the other boy here who was currently talking with Hoseok.

"Ah, Namjoon," the redhead turned his attention towards him, "I was just about to get you. Here, this is Taemin."

Taemin, a handsome young man with silver hair and full lips, smiled pleasantly at Namjoon and shook his hand. "Pleasure to meet you," he said. "Your first time here?"

"Yup. Lookin' forward to Seokjin's Uno. Sounds wild."

"It is! He had to wear lipstick and kiss the carpet last year as punishment. All credit to Hoseok for that one."

Again, the third time, and it was still hilarious.

At some point, his eyes drifted over to the party host who was still setting some things up, going back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room to transfer cups and plates and other things. And Namjoon couldn't help but wonder why none of the boy's friends were offering to help. Luckily Hoseok noticed his curious glances and answered the unspoken question.

"Don't feel bad," he said, giving Namjoon a nudge. "Jin wouldn't let any of us help even if we asked. Believe me, we've tried. He just gets fulfillment outta doing this on his own and has fun with it, ya know?"

"I suppose." Namjoon hummed, watching as Seokjin carefully set a bowl of punch down on the table. "Cute apron."

"Tell him that and he might hit you."

"Noted. Are there any other people we're waiting on?"

"Jungkook, which surprises me. I didn't think he'd agree. Also Youngjae. Funny guy. He almost beat me in Uno once."

"What was his punishment for losing?" Namjoon asked curiously.

"Fetching me a glass of water."

"You really do just like to target Seokjin, don't you?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

By 7:30 p.m. everyone was here: Hoseok, Namjoon, Jungkook, Taemin, Jackson, Youngjae, and of course, the host of this lovely little gathering, Kim Seokjin.

"Gentlemen and gentlemen of the jury! I've prepared tea!"

"What flavor??" Exclaimed Jackson.

"Chamomile, sweetie, you know me." He pretended to flip his hair and Namjoon snorted. He's funny.

It was certainly unique. Most high school parties these days consisted of way too many teens listening to loud music, dancing, and getting drunk. Instead, here, Jin was serving chamomile tea, having made a home-cooked meal for his party guests, and was entertaining everyone effortlessly with nothing more than his words and exaggerated facial expressions.

It was a nice change.

"So when's the Uno tournament start?" Namjoon asked, just as Seokjin placed a cup of tea in front of him.

"After dinner, be patient, child," he scolded.

"When's dinner?" Jackson piped up.

"You know full well dinner is served after tea, don't make me smack you."

"What's for dinner?" Taemin joined.

"You know full well we're having bulgogi and cucumber kimchi."

"CUCUMBER??? I'M OUTTA HERE-"

"Youngjae, you know full well I'm just kidding, sit down!!"

"Is the punch safe to drink?"

"Of course, it's safe-"

"He wants banana milk, he's just too shy to ask-"

"Hoseok, you traitor, I'm telling Yoongi."

"You know full well Yoongi ain't gonna do nothin' about it-"

"Will you stop saying 'full well'?"

"Uhm, I'm sorry, Hobi, who's the party host??"

Taemin, Jackson, and Youngjae were in an uproar of laughter, whereas Jungkook just cracked a reluctant smile and Namjoon tried really hard not to laugh, too.

Seokjin was just so. Freaking. Funny.

Jimin's missing out.

"I'm done my tea. Can we break out the meal now?" Jackson announced, loudly setting down his empty cup. Seokjin opened his mouth but Hoseok stopped him.

"If you say 'I'm already here,' then I'll see myself out the door."

Jin narrowed his eyes menacingly. "You wouldn't. You're standing on the pride of a title as reigning Uno champ. You walk out, you disqualify yourself."

"...true."

"...so like I was saying, I'm already here."

Everyone sighed collectively. Except Namjoon. Who laughed again.

It was then Seokjin decided he would comply to the wishes of his guests and serve dinner. And Namjoon, for one, was thoroughly impressed. Not only by the taste of the food, which was amazing, if he were to be brief, but also by the fact that Seokjin made dinner at all. Typically at parties people just ordered pizza or some other form of takeout. It was the easy thing to do.

"It's red bean kimchi, Youngjae, you're safe."

"Bless."

The group of boys ate dinner and enjoyed it immensely, making sure to savor every last bite but also wanting to hurry so that they could begin the Uno tournament. Yes, it was undeniably something they all greatly enjoyed. Even Seokjin, who too many times to count had been at Hoseok's mercy.

In the living room they all sat in a circle. The stacks of Uno cards in the very middle. And from there, the boys were split into groups: Seokjin vs. Taemin, Hoseok vs. Jackson, Youngjae vs. Namjoon, and since Jungkook didn't have a partner, he ended up joining Namjoon and Youngjae.

The groups then split off to play their own separate games. The outcome of the first game was Seokjin as winner: his punishment for Taemin was ten pushups (he wasn't as creative as Hoseok when it came to things like this). For the second grouping, Hoseok won, as expected: his punishment for Jackson was more anime impressions because he was a little too good at those. Lastly, Namjoon won against Youngjae and Jungkook and kindly asked them both to bring him a cup of soda and some crackers. He wasn't very creative, either.

And so they advanced to the second round—which was technically the last round, since they were only such a small group. Nonetheless Jin still liked to call it a tournament as though it were some grand, extensive event.

The final three were Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin. Namjoon was the first of them to be eliminated. And since Hoseok was currently in the lead, he got to choose what happened next.

Namjoon sighed. "What's my punishment?"

"Hm..." Placing a hand on his chin, Hoseok looked to the ceiling in thought. "How about...giving Jungkook a big ol' hug!"

The boy in question immediately made a face and glanced uncertainly at Namjoon, who already had his arms open wide.

"C'mon, buddy."

Jungkook groaned, but accepted the gesture as though this were his punishment, too.

With that out of the way, it was down to the final two: Kim Seokjin, the party host, and Jung Hoseok, the reigning champ.

Despite not being on chairs everyone was on the edge of their seat.

This was the scene they had been awaiting.

Taemin pulled out his phone to take a video.

Jackson pulled out his phone to play dramatic mid-western face-off music.

Hoseok now had three cards left. Seokjin had two. It looked like Jin was about to succeed, when-

"Skip! Uno! My turn, blue four! UNO OUT. HA!"

A triumphant laugh rang out from Hoseok's bowels, and he fell over upon seeing Seokjin's reaction. And though it frustrated him, Jin couldn't be mad, because Hoseok's joy was contagious whether anyone liked it or not.

"You little~"

"Lipstick, Jin~" The redhead sang.

"C'mon, really??"

Namjoon held a hand over his mouth and snorted. Everyone was chanting lipstick now and Jin was growing increasingly angry that he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Seemed he was having too much fun to be mad.

Groaning, he got to his feet and momentarily left the room, soon to return with red lipstick on his plump, formerly pink lips. Everyone cheered. And Jin just stood in front of the circle and looked down at Hoseok with his hands on his hips, waiting for the details of his punishment. "What this time? The carpet again? A tea cup? My own hand??"

Hoseok hummed, scanning his gaze across the room till it eventually fell on what he deemed was a wonderful choice. "Namjoon!" He exclaimed. And for whatever reason, this was also found by the group of boys watching to be most amusing. Jin almost burst out laughing, too, but he held it back.

"Seriously??"

"Sit down! No arguments!" Hoseok commanded, pointing at the spot on the floor directly in front of Namjoon. "There had better be a red lip imprint on his cheek in the next twenty seconds or you're already disqualified from next year's competition!!"

"Alright! Alright, calm down!!"

With this threat hanging over his head, Seokjin sat himself directly in front of Namjoon, closely situated because there was no other way to do this—he obviously couldn't kiss anyone's cheek from across the room.

"Stop smiling and get on with it!" Jackson shouted. Jin spun his head around and tried to glare at him but was still grinning because of the fun and lively atmosphere.

"Go on and kiss the boy!"

"Shalalalalala, my oh my!"

The singing of this song was all it took to finally trigger Jin's laughter in its full power, loud and somewhat high-pitched and resembling what could only be described as windshield wipers, or wiping a cloth against glass till it squeaked. It was so unique. And weirdly charming.

Namjoon felt a funny feeling in his chest.

He was less than a foot away from the boy's face. Being this close, he was able to fully take in all of Jin's facial features, and he realized something.

The boy was nothing short of gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful.

He couldn't turn his eyes away.

Not even as Jin gripped his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Everyone laughed and cheered.

Except Namjoon.

Namjoon wasn't laughing at all. Well, he was, but it was forced, and only because he felt several people looking at him for a reaction.

Leaving the room right now would be conspicuous. He waited a few minutes.

Then used the excuse that he should probably clean off the lipstick while it was fresh.

Closing the door, Namjoon leaned himself against it and slowly slid to the floor, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Then he hastily took out his phone.

"...Jimin?"

He was relieved when his friend picked up the phone. But confused to hear the boy sniffling.

"Uh...you okay?"

"No," Jimin replied in honesty. "But I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Oh...okay...will you talk about it later?"

"I don't know. I'll think about it." He sniffled again, then heaved a sigh. "What did you call me for?"

Namjoon quickly snapped back into focus. "Oh. Right. Uh..." He touched the lipstick mark on his cheek. "Okay, so the thing is, I never in my life thought I'd hear myself say this, but I think I might be bisexual."

Silence. Namjoon swore he heard crickets from the other end of the phone.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Clearly too tired to deal with his friend, Jimin sighed once again. "Did you call me to just to waste my time? If that's the case then I'm hanging up on you now-"

"No, I'm not kidding!" Namjoon blurted, trying to keep his voice down. "This is legit, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda freaking out right now and you're the only person I can ask for help. What do you usually do to hide that you're nervous around a boy? Gosh, I can't believe those words just fell out of my mouth..."

More stunned silence. "...okay, Namjoon, what the actual."

"Look, Chim, I don't know, either. I didn't ask for him to make my heart beat like this, I'm literally panicking right now, this is so weird." He slowly got to his feet and looked at himself in the mirror. "To think some boy could do this to me...incredible. He's incredible."

"You swear you're not messing with me right now?"

"I swear. I wouldn't joke about this. I think I'm in love with a boy."

"Naaaaaaamjooooon!!! We're gonna play musical chairs now, are you almost done erasing Jin's kiss mark??!"

"I gotta go, Chim. We're playing musical chairs. We'll continue this later."

"...did someone just say 'Jin's kiss mark'??"

"Nope. You're hearing things. Bye, Chim!"

"Bi, Namjoon."

Chapter Text

"Just forget about it."

He couldn't stop hearing those words in his head. Repeating them to himself. Picturing Yoongi's troubled face as he had uttered them. And he couldn't stop crying, hating how badly he didn't want to forget about it, and how much the thought of Yoongi wanting to pretend it didn't happen hurt.

Frankly, Jimin was tired of crying over him. But that wasn't something he could just choose to stop doing. He had accepted it by now, just how deeply in love with Yoongi he had fallen.

Yoongi had been the one to kiss him. In denial, for a moment, Jimin considered it had been because Yoongi had wanted to kiss him. But the boy's panicked explanation to clarify his reasons struck Jimin like a brick to the head. It seemed Yoongi hadn't wanted to at all. He was only trying to save them from getting caught, and now he wanted to act like it had only been in their imaginations.

"I hate you, Min Yoongi..."

It took a while for Jimin to remember he was still wearing Yoongi's clothes. At one point he looked down at himself, catching sight of the vibrant rainbow sweater which his friend had seemed quite happy he tried on. Jimin slipped out of it and shoved it under the bed along with the rest of Yoongi's things.

Which was a lot of things.

It was going to be a pain in the neck to return all these.

Sighing, he made his way over to where he had left his clothes and put them back on, then collapsed onto his bed. It was around 11 p.m. by this point. He had spent more time crying than he thought.

Coincidentally, moments after Jimin had laid down, he heard his phone ring. He groaned, already expecting it to be Yoongi, and prepared to immediately end the call. But upon checking the caller ID he realized his mistake.

"Why's Joon calling me? He's at a party..." He reluctantly answered the call.

"...Jimin?"

Jimin grunted in response, sniffling.

"Uh...you okay?"

"No," Jimin replied in honesty. "But I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Oh...okay...will you talk about it later?"

"I don't know. I'll think about it." He sniffled again, then heaved a sigh. "What did you call me for?"

Namjoon seemed to quickly snap back into focus. "Oh. Right. Uh..." There was a pause. "Okay, so the thing is, I never in my life thought I'd hear myself say this, but I think I might be bisexual."

Silence. Jimin, too tired to deal with his friend's jokes, remained silent for a few moments. "Ha-ha, very funny," he said, rolling his eyes. "Did you call me to just to waste my time? If that's the case then I'm hanging up on you now-"

"No, I'm not kidding!" Namjoon blurted, in a somewhat hush voice. "This is legit, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda freaking out right now and you're the only person I can ask for help. What do you usually do to hide that you're nervous around a boy? Gosh, I can't believe those words just fell out of my mouth..."

More stunned silence. "...okay, Namjoon, what the actual."

"Look, Chim, I don't know, either. I didn't ask for him to make my heart beat like this, I'm literally panicking right now, this is so weird. To think some boy could do this to me...incredible. He's incredible."

It was odd. Jimin could typically sense when Namjoon was trying to prank him, because his tone of voice made it obvious. But right now Jimin sensed honesty. And that, to him, was absolutely bizarre.

"You swear you're not messing with me right now?"

"I swear. I wouldn't joke about this. I think I'm in love with a boy."

Just then Jimin heard a piercing voice interrupt from somewhere on the other end of the phone.

"Naaaaaaamjooooon!!! We're gonna play musical chairs now, are you almost done erasing Jin's kiss mark??!"

"I gotta go, Chim. We're playing musical chairs. We'll continue this later."

"...did someone just say 'Jin's kiss mark'??"

"Nope. You're hearing things. Bye, Chim!"

"Bi, Namjoon."

Namjoon hung up. Jimin sighed again and set down his phone.

Then he just sat up in bed for a minute.

"...what the heck is happening at that party?" He thought aloud. He furrowed his brow, replaying Namjoon's words in his head—and subconsciously, he was really thankful for them, because they acted as a pretty good distraction from the whole issue with Yoongi.

Namjoon. Kim Namjoon, Jimin's best friend, who had dated a couple girls in his time, was now, presumably, in his own words, "in love with a boy." And just like Namjoon had said, he definitely did seem genuine, and was genuinely panicking. Jimin didn't doubt it. For someone like Namjoon to suddenly come upon a realization like this...must have been pretty shocking.

What concerned Jimin was what Namjoon planned to do about it.

Especially, assuming that this boy his friend was referring to was Seokjin—Jimin, of course, made this assumption based on what he'd heard that voice call out. And Seokjin was straight.

Or maybe it wasn't Seokjin. Maybe Namjoon met some other gay or bisexual boy at the party. That would be more convenient. For his friend's sake, Jimin hoped that was the case.

He picked up his phone again. Eager to find out more as well as find things to distract him from his own problems, Jimin texted his friend. 

me:
hey, why don't you just come back
to my house after the party and sleep over 
we could talk about your gay awakening
or bisexual awakening or whatever u wanna call it

Juneberry:
for real? 
you'd want to?
ohemgee wait till i tell you all about 
how freaking amazing jin is
ok i really gotta go we're about to start musical chairs adios amigo 

So it was Seokjin.

me:
adios

Jimin stared in silence at his friend's messages for a while.

"...kinda wishing I had chosen to go after all..."

He said this aloud, but hearing his own words, and thinking back to everything that had just happened that evening struck him hard. Just...everything. But, needless to say, the kiss most of all. And what he needed right now was to not think about it.

But he thought about it. About Yoongi pulling him close in that small closet, about the clumsy kiss that turned into more kisses, Yoongi's warm lips, the gentle way he had held Jimin's hand through it all...

Even though it had been rushed in the start, it morphed into something much softer...softer, sweeter...but it didn't feel that way now. It felt forced. Ingenuine. Just an act.

Jimin face-planted his pillow, holding back tears again. Namjoon better not be at that party much longer...

It was a little after midnight when Namjoon arrived at Jimin's house. By this point, Jimin's parents and sister were home, but none of them found it odd when Namjoon stopped by. He was practically part of the family.

So that being said, Eunjin, who had answered the door, let the boy inside and told him her brother was probably in his room. Namjoon climbed the stairs and entered Jimin's room, only to find the boy lying with his face buried in his pillow, leg dangling off the side of the bed. Being the good friend that he was, naturally, Namjoon lifted Jimin's leg and chucked it back onto the bed.

Jimin groaned and flipped himself back over.

"It's late."

"Not that late," Namjoon countered. "If it were a normal high school party it could have gone into the single digit a.m.'s, but Seokjin wanted us out of there before 1:00."

Jimin made a grunt of acknowledgement.

"...are you tired, Chim?"

"Tired of something, but I'm not tired," he said with a sigh, sitting upright in bed. "Are you tired?"

"Not at all. Besides, I've been looking forward to talking to you about Seokjin."

He had a smile on his face. An innocent, dreamy smile, something Jimin had never seen on Namjoon before. And Namjoon smiled plenty, but there was something about this one...

Jimin thought it a nice change. Although he was still puzzled and a bit skeptical about the whole thing, deep down he knew his friend wouldn't lie about this. And the boy wasn't a good enough actor to fake being in love.

"So, Seokjin," said Jimin.

"Seokjin," Namjoon repeated. His smile grew a bit. "He's something else."

"I'd imagine he would have to be, for a 'straight' boy to fall for him."

"That's true," the blond admitted, offering a quiet laugh as he situated himself on the bed to sit in front of Jimin. "But really though..."

His gaze wandered, mind clearly wandering as well, and Jimin didn't want to interrupt his friend's thoughts, so he just waited.

"...he's...gorgeous."

"Gorgeous?" Jimin raised an eyebrow. "You hardly even use that word to describe girls..."

"I'm just being honest," Namjoon chuckled. "When I saw him up close, I realized. He's gorgeous. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his lips. And he's really nice, and thoughtful. And absolutely hilarious. I didn't think I'd have as much fun as I did at that party."

He breathed a quiet breath, seeming to be beside himself with this little crush of his. Jimin could only stare at him for the time being. He didn't really know what to say, and he felt Namjoon wasn't done talking, so he kept quiet.

"...I know you find it weird."

"I don't find it weird," Jimin countered immediately. "I just find it a little odd."

"That's the same thing-"

"It's not. Cut me a break, Joon, I've known you for years as being straight and sure of it, and now you come to me with this epiphany..."

Namjoon, still smiling, gave a slow nod of understanding. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "To he honest with you I don't even get it entirely. But I know what I'm feeling isn't just a passing infatuation. Because I've had those before, and this isn't that at all. Kim Seokjin stole my heart in a single night..."

The look in Namjoon's eyes was something Jimin had never seen before. His friend had had girlfriends, sure, but if Jimin were honest he would say never really felt Namjoon truly loved them. But now here the boy was, in a daze as memories of the past few hours circled in his head like a delicate, pleasant whirlwind.

And Jimin loved that. He cared about Namjoon, and he was glad that his friend had found someone he seemed to have a genuine interest in.

But since Jimin cared about Namjoon he also didn't want the boy to fall into a ditch he couldn't get out of.

"Joon."

"Mm."

"...you know Seokjin's straight, don't you?"

Something flashed across Namjoon's eye—not a realization, but a spark of remembrance. He had known already. Yet still had he allowed himself to indulge in the bliss of his feelings.

"He is," the boy said. "But, I don't care. I still want him. And so I'll try, as much as I'm able, to make him want me, too."

His voice, although rooted in determination, cleaved regrettably to a sense of doubt, the doubt which was linked to that realization. Yes, Seokjin was straight.

But Namjoon was a man of his word. He would try as much as he was able.

"So, can I ask now?"

Jimin looked at him. "What?"

"Why were you crying, Jimin?"

A jolt in his chest. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Don't say that."

"Why can't I say that?"

"I wanna know why you were crying."

He should have known Namjoon would bring it up. And though he could be stubborn and push his friend away again, just as he had done before, and many times in the past, a part of Jimin didn't want to do that right now. So he sighed.

"Yoongi kissed me but he regrets it."

Brief, tearful.

Namjoon could hear Jimin's pain. He didn't ask the story, but the story wasn't relevant. At least he didn't think it was. But the thing is, it was relevant, namely to why Yoongi had kissed Jimin in the first place. But Jimin misinterpreted things, having allowed his own doubts and regret about his feelings for Yoongi to take over and turn the situation into something negative.

Not knowing this, Namjoon pulled his friend in for a hug to comfort him.

"Do you love him?"

"I don't want to," Jimin sobbed.

"That wasn't the question. Do you love Yoongi, Chim?"

"It hurts to."

"So be it. We'll hurt together."

Chapter Text

It was the next day, and Jimin woke up to his best friend's leg draped over him. Groaning, he pushed Namjoon. A little too forcefully.

Namjoon fell off the bed.

Startled, to say the very least, the victim of the fall yelped and scrambled to his feet, scanning the room furiously as if to find the culprit. He sighed when his gaze fell on Jimin, who just shrugged nonchalantly.

"You were a little too close."

His friend, deadpanning, muttered in response, "So you push me off the bed?"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"I dunno, maybe kindly get me to wake up?"

"Well, you're up now."

"...this is true."

After their brief and not at all serious argument, the two prepared to head downstairs to find something to eat for breakfast. But a little reminder struck Jimin the moment his feet touched the floor. He lowered himself to sit on the floor, then peered beneath his bed.

Yoongi's mountain of clothes and makeup were still there.

The boy felt a gap in his chest. He had to return them. He didn't want to, but they were Yoongi's, and besides, the longer they stayed here the higher the risk of Jimin being caught with them.

"Chim? Something wrong?" Namjoon stopped at the door and looked back at him. "You don't normally keep your stuff under your bed. Lookin' for something?"

"No," Jimin answered, gradually rising to his feet. "I was just...reminding myself I have to give Yoongi back his clothes today."

"...his clothes...?"

"Yeah."

"...Chim Chim?"

"What?"

"Why do you have your gay friend's clothes?"

He had forgotten Namjoon didn't know the story. The only detail about the previous night he had given the boy was about the kiss, and about Yoongi regretting it. That was it. He didn't know about Yoongi being at this house, the makeover, or Jihyun nearly catching them, or anything. Jimin blushed a light shade and glared daggers at his friend so as to strike down any assumptions.

"He was letting me try on some outfits of his," Jimin spat. "And I kicked him out of here, so now I have to take all his things back to him. Get your mind out of the gutter, you perv."

Namjoon just chuckled and opened the door of Jimin's room, then walked right out and headed down the stairs. This was practically his second home, so by now the boy could comfortably help himself to anything in the kitchen without it being a problem. In fact, Jimin's mom encouraged it.

Meanwhile Jimin sat still on his floor for a bit. Defeatedly he looked at the clothes under the bed again.

"I should've just made him take them before leaving..."

Whether or not he liked the idea, Jimin was going to have to take these to Yoongi's house. And that sucked, because he wasn't ready to face him yet, not did he want to talk to Yoongi yet as he was still greatly upset over the boy's words from the night before. 'Just forget about it', he thought bitterly. Just forget about your clothes then, too, Yoongi.

Sighing, he reached under the bed and swept out every last thing there, the sweaters, shirts, jeans and makeup. The numerous bags in which Yoongi had transported his things here, surprisingly bland in color, which made Jimin assume they belonged to one of the mint-haired boy's family members rather than him, were also sitting at the foot of the bed. So Jimin took them and quickly shoved every last item inside the various pockets, then zipped them shut. He put on his leather jacket and sneakers, draping the bags over his shoulders, soon to make his way down the stairs.

Namjoon was eating cereal at the kitchen table, alone, as no one else was awake yet. He shot his friend a puzzled look upon noticing the bags.

"I'm gonna return them now to get it over with," Jimin said with a sigh. "I'll be back soon. If someone asks, tell them I went to get coffee."

"Gotcha."

With that, Jimin exited his house and began on his way. He walked with his steps varying in speed. A conflicted variance. Again, he really did not want to see Yoongi right now, but he also needed to give these things back to him, and he wanted to get it over with, hence the reason for his quick walking. But it slowed every time he thought of how much he wasn't ready to see Yoongi just yet...

As distracted as he was, Jimin nearly passed by Yoongi's house. Luckily he caught himself in time and spun around, then started up the small stairs leading up to the front door.

He stopped for a while, contemplating, dreading, as his heart hammered against his chest and weighed it down. After some time he finally managed to muster up enough courage to knock. He almost wished no one would answer and he could just leave the bags here. But that would be irresponsible. Someone could easily come by and take them.

So Jimin waited a moment.

The door was opened. A woman only slightly taller than him, with glasses and dyed blonde hair, stood by, eyebrows raised curiously. Jimin recognized her as the woman he was briefly introduced to as Yoongi's older sister, Riyeon.

Embarrassed for some reason, Jimin began to stutter, trying desperately to come up with an excuse or explain himself in a better way than saying your brother left his clothes at my house and I'm here to return them.

"You're Yoongles' friend, yeah?"

She had on a peaceful smile, and somehow it comforted Jimin, just a little. He gave a shy nod. "I borrowed these," he said softly. "I just came to give them back."

Riyeon gave a nod of understanding. "I think he's still asleep. You wanna come inside?"

No. "N-no, it's okay, if you could just let him know I-"

"Riyeon? Who's at the door?"

"Oh, looks like he's awake after all." She turned her head slightly. "Your friend's here, Yoongles!"

Nononononononono. "L-listen, I really have to leave, so-"

Jimin made the mistake of meeting Yoongi's gaze in the brief glance the boy made into the house. And there was no moment of hesitation. Yoongi made a mad dash for the door, seeming to predict Jimin would soon be making his hasty escape, and he extended his hand not a moment too soon and seized him by the wrist.

"Jimin, don't go, I need to talk to you."

Jimin didn't say anything. And neither did Riyeon, though she was curious, she did the respectful thing and didn't butt into their business but rather stepped back into the house—she could always ask her brother about it later.

Jimin tried to tug his arm back. He avoided Yoongi's gaze. "Let go. I just came here to give you back your clothes and makeup."

"Then what? Are you gonna go back to ignoring me?" Yoongi gave Jimin's wrist a squeeze, then sighed. And he waited until Jimin looked him in the eye. "Look, I just want to talk to you. Please, Jimin."

At the time, Jimin wasn't sure what he would regret more: walking away or listening to Yoongi's request. In the end, though, the boy's heart which was weak to those eyes led him to agree. Reluctantly, but he agreed nonetheless. And he could so easily see that his doing so gave Yoongi such great relief.

Still holding on to Jimin's wrist, the mint-haired boy pulled his friend into the house and closed the door behind them. Riyeon was still downstairs, so Yoongi decided it would be best to take this to his room. Absentmindedly his fingers loosened their grip on Jimin's wrist and moved down till they slid into the boy's hand. Jimin tensed, but didn't pull away.

Once the two reached Yoongi's room, they broke contact, and Jimin carefully set down the bags containing the other's belongings, then slowly made his way over to the bed where Yoongi was already sitting, waiting patiently for him.

He sat down.

"...Jimin."

Jimin choose to keep quiet.

"Are you mad at me?"

The silence following Yoongi's question, to him, was just as much reassuring as it was discomforting. The lack of a response, the conflicted tremor in Jimin's eye, suggested consideration, deeper thought, rather than an immediate desire to confirm Yoongi's assumption.

"...I'm not...mad."

"You can't not be mad."

"Shut up."

A slight break in his voice. Yoongi cleared his throat and straightened his posture. The last thing he wanted to do here was make Jimin cry again. That being said, he tried to choose his words carefully.

"If you're not mad...then why did you tell me to leave last night?"

He saw Jimin's facial features start to twitch, and so he held his breath.

"...because you upset me."

Yoongi furrowed his brow. That's different from being mad? "...it's..." Be careful, you're walking on eggshells here. "...it's...because I kissed you...right?"

This time, Jimin didn't move. So Yoongi took the chance and added: "I said I was sorry, Jimin, and I mean it. I didn't want to upset y-"

"It's not 'cus of the kiss, okay?!" The boy exclaimed, seemingly from nowhere. "It's 'cus of what you said afterwards!"

Jimin's sudden outburst, along with the emotion in his voice as he had spoken this gripped Yoongi's heart and held it captive until his brain got the message to start turning its gears again. He didn't recall saying much last night other than his frantic apology. But then he remembered. Jimin's soft whisper helped fully jogged the memory.

"Just forget about it..."

He was near to tears again.

"My first kiss...my first kiss, and it was actually a boy, and he just wants me to pretend it didn't happen..." He sniffled. "And I'm just supposed to be 'okay' with that? You don't know how lousy that made me feel...how insecure...it was insensitive, you were so insensitive..."

It made sense now. A lot of sense. And though he still felt terrible, understanding Jimin a bit more now made him feel a lot better in one regard. That remaining guilt, however, wouldn't let him go just yet.

"Jimin, I'm so sorry." Tempted to take Jimin's hand in his own again, Yoongi sighed gently. "I thought you'd be mad I kissed you at all. That's why I said that. I was trying to make you feel better, not worse. I'm sorry..."

He turned his head, gaze momentarily falling on the duffel bags of his Jimin had left on the floor. He thought back to the previous night, but dwelt more, perhaps, on what Jimin had said just now.

"Your first kiss...I'm sorry about that, too. That it had to be me..." Feeling his cheeks grow warm, Yoongi cleared his throat again. "And seeing as it was in the spur of the moment, it probably wasn't even any good. To you, I mean, it didn't bother m-...me."

Jimin didn't look at him. He tried to ignore him. He really tried.

"For what it's worth, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, but for my first kiss...I kinda liked it."

Jimin's face burned, mind blank but his heart beat wildly. Panicked, he blurted, "Stop talking."

However at this point, there was no stopping Yoongi, because he had already come across the realization that he quite enjoyed teasing Jimin, as the boy's reactions were always worth the risk.

"You have...nice lips, Jimin."

Jimin didn't know why he didn't move. He didn't know why he didn't just get on his feet and leave, right then—he'd heard Yoongi out, they'd cleared things up, so he really had no obligation to stay. But somehow. For some reason. Yoongi's compliments, and his soft sweet words tenderly convinced him to stay.

"Jimin..?"

Don't answer him. Don't look at him.

"Could...we try it again?"

Yoongi was closer than he had been mere moments ago. Inches from Jimin's face. Jimin turned, ever so slightly and was met with the other boy's flushed face, closing in on his lips.

They connected them again.

And this time was so much different. No panic of being found out by Jimin's brother, or his family, because it was just the two in a quiet, more open space, and it hadn't been initiated spontaneously, but rather from Yoongi's own free will.

He slipped his hand behind Jimin's head. Moving his lips against the other's tenderly, he got a better feel, a better taste of Jimin... And Jimin surprised himself by once again reciprocating the kiss, even though he could feel himself trembling. It was only shyness this time, embarrassment, without the panic of being found out.

His brain played no part in the matter, however. His kissing back was spurred on by his heart, disregarding the consequences, disregarding why he didn't question Yoongi first, or anything.

He just melted. Into the kiss, into Yoongi.

At one point, though, as they broke off just a little to allow for breathing, Jimin opened his eyes.

"...why are we doing this...?" He asked, dazed, and almost too quiet to hear.

"...to make up for last night," Yoongi answered, just as quiet. "I was your first kiss, but I could've done better. I'm...just trying to fix it. Besides, it's nice."

He pecked Jimin's lips again.

"Really nice. Is it wrong of me to say that?"

"I...don't think so..."

Jimin swallowed his breath, mesmerized by how beautiful Yoongi looked up close, with his cheeks flushed, russet eyes in clear view.

He truly had fallen deep.

"I...forgot Namjoon is waiting for me at my house."

Yoongi pulled his head back, and he stared at Jimin for a long moment before speaking again. "Oh, I'm sorry, I kept you without even realizing it."

"It's okay."

"...I'll text you later, I guess."

"...yeah."

"...if my sister asks any questions, just keep walking."

"I will."

Chapter Text

As it always must, winter break came to an end, and the students of Daesung High had to return to school. Some were okay with this, satisfied with the events of their vacation, others pleased to have had time to simply relax.

And then there were others, relating to both of the aforementioned things, but who also had a vague sense of uncertainty upon returning to school.

Namely Min Yoongi and Park Jimin.

Jimin, having been fooled by Yoongi's words and again by the belief that the boy could never and would never be in love with him, strove to block out the sweet, sweet memory of their tender kisses shared that Christmas morning that no one else knew about.

He really did try. But it just kept coming back, full force, and Jimin swore he could still taste Yoongi on his lips. As vague as it had felt to him, it was also something that he would have loved to continue.

Were it not, of course, for Jimin's strong feeling of being undeserving.

Regardless, he faced a new issue upon the end of winter break. That first day back at school was the first time he would be seeing Yoongi since they had kissed. He didn't know how to act around him.

Neither did Yoongi. He tried to behave as he normally did, offering a quiet but friendly greeting as he passed by Jimin's desk in the morning. But then came lunch, when his friends, plus Jimin's only other friend, joined together at the one table. And Jimin and Yoongi once again sat beside each other.

It felt like there was a bubble around them. Yoongi could see it, in the way Jimin fiddled with his chopsticks, in the slight movements he'd make with his lips and eyebrows, in the random glances across the table. Never at him, though. Almost like he was afraid to, or felt he shouldn't.

And Yoongi just couldn't help but feel guilty.

"What's with you two, huh?" Jin said at some point, cracking a smile as he leaned forward across the table just a bit. "Didn't have enough fun over the break? It's 'cus you bailed on the party, that's why."

Jimin felt his cheeks darken and he shrunk into himself, but said nothing. Yoongi cleared his throat.

"My vacation was fine, thank you." He sighed. "And what difference would it have made if I were at the party? I wouldn't have contributed anything. And besides, I don't really know Jackson or Taemin or Youngjae very well. So if you could just stop trying to guilt-trip me..."

"I'm just kidding, Yoongi. Relax." Leaning back again, Seokjin took a moment to scan Yoongi's face, noticing something was off but he didn't want to say anything to upset him.

Hoseok noticed, too. And Jungkook. By now they were all quite skillful in picking up Yoongi's moods and habits. The boy wasn't so great at hiding things. At least, not since he came out.

"I still need to give you your Christmas gift," Hoseok said, trying to get Yoongi's attention. "I bought it late, but it's wrapped now and everything. I'll stop by your house later today if that's okay."

"That's fine. Thanks, Hobi."

"Did you get me anything?"

"Of course I did."

The redhead beamed. Jungkook shifted his position ever so slightly—a subtle insertion of himself into the conversation.

"I didn't forget about you, Kook, or you, Jin."

"Such a selfless boy, you are. Isn't he, Jungkook?"

Namjoon smiled, gazing across the table at Seokjin who was also smiling, but oblivious to the goo-goo eyes he was currently receiving. Chin resting in the palm of his hand, Namjoon teased, "Did you get me anything?"

"Who, me?" Jin chuckled. "Oh, I'm sorry, was that kiss on the cheek not enough for you?"

Hoseok couldn't hold back a snort, recalling his friend's hilarious punishment, which was funny to all but Namjoon.

"Wait, hold on, what happened?"

"His punishment was kissing Namjoon on the cheek," Hoseok explained briefly, still grinning.

"Oh."

At that moment, Jimin lifted his eyes to look at his friend, who looked back at him. And Jimin was puzzled a bit, but also glad, that he didn't detect any bittersweet expression, or regret because of the situation. No, he seemed happy, rather.

"Jungkook won musical chairs, by the way. Straight up savage pushed Namjoon to the floor."

At this, Jungkook's face turned red and he looked down. "It was an accident. I didn't mean to push him."

"It's okay," the victim insisted, laughing. Hoseok laughed, too. And Jin, the loudest.

Namjoon's heart fluttered again.

Meanwhile, flustered Jungkook took out his phone as a distraction, hoping the guys would leave him alone, and although they did drop the subject, this little action of his sparked a new one from Yoongi.

"Have you talked with Taehyung at all?"

Jungkook flinched. Yoongi was gazing curiously at him now, eager to get his mind off things and at the same time really interested in his friend's potential love-life. Of course, he hadn't intended to be pushy or obnoxious when he spurred on the exchanging of the two boys' numbers. He only wanted his friend to be happy.

Jungkook poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek. "We've talked," he said, only loud enough for Yoongi to hear.

"That's good," Yoongi replied with a smile. "What do you think of him?"

"...he's...interesting..."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I think so."

"...he's pretty, too, isn't he-?"

"Oh, please just stop already."

Yoongi giggled, at just enough volume that Jimin could hear him even above the loudness of Hoseok and Seokjin's conversation which he wasn't at all following, though Namjoon certainly seemed to be. He wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but sitting so close to the two made it difficult.

"Did you try using that pickup line I suggested to you?"

"What?"

"You know, just walk into the shop he works at and be like 'hey, Taehyung, did you run out of silverware? Don't worry, I'll be your golden spoon."

"I am  not  doing that."

"It's clever, though. Give me some credit."

He had managed to distract himself successfully for some parts of the day, but the moment school hours were done, that vague feeling of guilt resurfaced in Yoongi. He thought about talking to Hoseok about it, however decided against it and just went home. He figured maybe if he just thought about it out loud to himself, he would feel better about the situation.

But that didn't help, either.

Home by himself—well, Holly was here—the empty space and quietness allowed him space to think. But maybe too much space, he thought. Too much space to think led to overthinking.

Maybe it would be better to talk to Hoseok.

Fortunately, though it had completely slipped Yoongi's mind, Hoseok planned to drop by some time in the afternoon to deliver his gift for his friend. And that's exactly what he did.

It was nearing five p.m. when Yoongi heard a knock at the door. Being in the living room at the time, he rose from the couch and made his way over to the door to answer it only to find his best friend standing there with a gift bag gripped tightly in his hands, a radiant smile across his face.

"Your favorite redhead is here!" He held out the bag. "Ta-da! Sorry I couldn't get it to you closer to Christmas. We were busier than I thought we'd be."

"It's okay," Yoongi said. "I understand."

"...are you okay?"

"Not entirely. You wanna sit down inside?"

"Sure."

With that, the front door was closed and Yoongi returned to his spot on the couch and had to sadly shoo Holly off his resting spot so Hoseok could sit down, too. And things were quiet at first, as Yoongi pulled his small legs onto the couch and Hoseok just watched him with concern. Then he sighed.

"...gift exchange before or after talk?"

"I ordered your gift online and it should be delivered to your house within the next couple of days," Yoongi explained with a soft smile. "You probably already know what it is."

"No, I actually have no clue. Unless you bought me the iPhone X. Oh my gosh, Yoongi, did you buy me an iPhone X??"

"You're hysterical."

Hoseok stifled a laugh, then lifted his hand so that he could place his gift bag on Yoongi's lap. "Guess I'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, here's yours."

The mint-haired boy breathed a soft 'thanks', then slowly took out the tissue paper Hoseok had stuffed inside the bag to give it more volume. In reality, the gift itself was quite small. Yoongi reached inside to remove it.

A box. Inside was a necklace. One with a thin silver chain, and the charm attached to it was a small flag with the colors of the rainbow.

Yoongi just smiled fondly, then put it on, fastening the chain carefully behind his neck. The flag charm reached about halfway down his chest.

"It's beautiful, Hobi."

"You're welcome. Matches your favorite sweater now, huh?"

"I suppose it does."

A bit of silence followed those soft-spoken words, as Yoongi stared at the charm, and Hoseok watched his face concernedly. But he didn't say anything, because he had a feeling Yoongi would speak up when he wanted.

"...Hobi, am I a bad person?"

"What?"

"For kissing Jimin and making up an excuse instead of telling him I have feelings for him. Am I a bad person?"

It was too much at once. Too much to take in, too much Hoseok didn't know about till now, and it was uttered so solemnly, dipped in guilt.

"...you...you kissed..." He blinked. "You...h-hold on, you have feelings for-...and you kissed-"

"Yes, I kissed him," Yoongi admitted, just a little annoyed. "I kissed him, several times now, and Hobi it was absolutely amazing and I can't stop thinking about him and how much I want to kiss him again."

Again. He was almost speechless. With his jaw practically on the floor, Hoseok stared with wide-eyes at his friend whose face was tinted red from the memory of what he'd just described, and what he continued to describe.

"It was so sweet, and pillowy, his lips were like soft pillows, and he's so shy, too, and it's so cute, he's so freaking adorable..."

He sighed, dreamily, and Hoseok—

—Hoseok yelled.

Just once. But loudly. And Yoongi wasn't expecting it so he nearly jumped out of his skin, immediately firing his friend a death glare that would have silenced anyone—except Hoseok.

"Yoongi!!"

"What is wrong with you??"

"What's wrong with me??!"

"That's what I'm asking!!"

"Why wouldn't you tell me sooner?!"

"Look, I didn't know what to do! And what was I supposed to say?? 'Oh, hey, Hobi, guess what? Just now, I was kissing Jimin, you know, that guy who used to bully me but who's my friend now-"

"Uhm, yes, why didn't you tell me exactly that??"

Yoongi heaved a fully exasperated groan, scarcely resisting the urge to kick the redhead in the gut. He resorted to momentarily hiding his face in defeat. Then he leaned back against the couch and gazed up at the ceiling, breathing out deeply.

Hoseok figured now would be an appropriate time to get a hold of himself. He cleared his throat. "...so...where's the issue again?"

"...the issue is," Yoongi began in a low voice, "that I basically manipulated Jimin into accepting my kisses instead of telling him the real reason I wanted to kiss him."

"Which is that you're in love with him."

"I've figured that out, yeah."

"...so why don't you ask him out?"

"Because timing is important, Hobi." He lifted his hand to massage his temples. "There are very few people who even know he's gay at this point. I'm not even going to think about asking him out yet. But that just makes me want to speed up the process...but that's wrong, and I'd never do that." He leaned forward again, and Hoseok could clearly see the look of sobriety on his friend's face. "I just want him to be comfortable with himself more, you know? I mean, I've definitely made progress. I'm not gonna tell you everything, though, I feel like some privacy is necessary. So please don't get offended, Hobi-"

"No, it's alright," Hoseok said quietly, shaking his head. "What happens between you and Jimin is all your business. I still feel a little guilty about how I acted when I found out you two were hanging out. Oh, and to answer your question, no."

Puzzled, Yoongi tilted his head.

"No, I don't think you're a bad person," Hoseok explained, smiling. "You said you manipulated him but somehow I have a feeling that's a dramatic word for whatever you actually did. Besides, I bet Jimin wanted to kiss you, too."

Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek and glanced away. "...that's cute in theory," he muttered. Hoseok stifled a laugh.

"It's cute in reality, too."

Chapter Text

Sometimes, Namjoon woke up in the morning feeling especially bold, or as Jimin would describe it, especially stupid. These were the days Namjoon would dare to flirt with girls, when he typically wasn't the type to, or when he'd dare to play some sort of innocent but annoying prank on Jimin purely for the sake of getting a reaction. But today was different. Today, he had something else in mind.

At lunch, Namjoon and Jimin sat with Yoongi's group of friends as they had been doing, and both were gradually beginning to grow accustomed to it. Namjoon, however, would have preferred a slight seating change, but he could do with having to sneak glances at a certain someone from the other side of Hoseok.

Seokjin was just. So. Beautiful. And since he had realized that, Namjoon couldn't get over it. And how sweet the boy's voice was. And the stupid jokes that Namjoon had no idea why he laughed at.

How on earth is he single?

In reality, Seokjin wasn't single until just a few months ago, when he had broken up with his third girlfriend. But Namjoon didn't know that, only that Jin had dated girls in the past. As did he. But again, none of them interested him as much as Jin did.

Spontaneous, was his liking towards the boy. And spontaneous were his actions this day.

"Hey, Seokjin."

It was towards the end of lunch, and Seokjin was getting ready to make his way back to his classroom. Yoongi and Jimin and the others had already left. Many other students were beginning to leave the cafeteria as well.

Seokjin stopped upon noticing Namjoon. "Oh, hey." He gave a small smile. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, Jin, I was just–" He stopped himself. "Ah, sorry, I meant Seokjin-"

The other boy shook his head slowly, letting out a soft breath through his nose. "Just Jin is fine," he insisted. "In fact, I think you're the only person who still calls me 'Seokjin' at this point."

Namjoon smiled. "Well, alright then, Jin." Looking down for a moment, he sighed, broadened his pleasant expression, then raised his head again to say, "I had a question for you, if you don't mind."

"And what might that be?"

"I was gonna ask if you'd be interested in going on a date with me."

Silence. Seokjin turned his head slightly to the side, then stifled a laugh, evidently in disbelief at what he had just heard. "Ohhh, a joke." He chuckled. "You got me there for a second, Namjoon. Didn't know you had a great sense of humor."

"I wasn't joking, though," the boy said, smile still in tact.

Jin was quiet again.

"I want you to go on a date with me."

The sobriety in his voice, and his gentle, sincere expression. Seokjin did a double take. Just waiting for Namjoon to burst out in laughter and let out a triumphant I got you good! But that never happened. Because Namjoon was absolutely serious. And Seokjin came to realize that.

"Wh-..." He pursed his lips. "I-I don't get it, I thought you were straight."

"So did I," Namjoon said, almost sounding pleased with himself. "But then I kinda fell for you, so I guess I was wrong. Crazy how these things happen, huh?"

He was being so blunt. Straight to the point—well, not exactly in this sense. But still. Seokjin was having difficult processing it.

"...d-didn't you date a couple girls before?"

"I did," the other admitted. "And now, I would very much like you to be the next person I date. So, would you be interested?"

"I'm straight!"

"Like I said, I thought I was, too." Namjoon hummed thoughtfully. "Things can change, people can change. We all don't know ourselves as much as we think we do sometimes."

Namjoon was being persistent. Subtle, but persistent nonetheless and Seokjin was growing increasingly puzzled with every word the boy spoke.

"I'm free this weekend if you are, Jin-"

"I'm not, and I won't ever be. I'm not going on a date with you!"

"You could change your mind, Jin!" Namjoon called out to the boy who was now hastily making his escape back to his classroom. "I'll ask again later!"

"Don't!!"

He's so cute. 

"Park Jimin, I need to have a word with you."

It goes without saying that Jimin was not expecting a flustered and harsh-toned Seokjin to storm up to his desk not a minute after the dismissal bell rang. He slammed his hands on the surface of the desk then proceeded to glare into the orange-haired boy's eyes as though already accusing him of a crime he didn't commit. Which was pretty accurate.

Jimin just quietly slipped his books into his backpack, gradually lifting his gaze to meet Jin's. "...I didn't hurt anybody."

"That's not what I'm here for," Jin sighed. "You've changed, I know. It's something else."

"Jin, is something wrong?"

"Nothing, Yoongi," Jin called back to his friend, who was sitting just several seats away. "I just need to talk to Jimin for a minute." He leaned closer to the boy in question. "Outside, let's go."

Reluctantly Jimin found himself following Seokjin to a quieter and more private place outside, away from the crowds of people who were in the process of leaving, as well as those who had the tendency to stick around for a little while.

Once he was sure there was no one close by, Jin released a heavy breath.

"Did you put him up to it?"

Jimin blinked. "Put who up to what?"

"You know what I'm talking about!"

"I don't, actually." Jimin stuck out his bottom lip indignantly. "Please don't just accuse me. What are you even talking about?"

"Namjoon asking me out!" Jin exclaimed, in as hushed a voice as he could manage. "Did you put him up to it? Is this some practical joke between the two of you?"

Now Jimin was wearing an expression as similarly shocked as Jin's had been earlier than day. "He actually did it? He asked you out?"

"Yes! Was it just some dare?"

Jimin nervously swallowed his breath, glancing away for a moment. I can't believe he actually did it. "No," he uttered, "I didn't dare him to do anything. He did that...all on his own."

"So..." Seokjin paused as he carefully scanned Jimin's countenance. "...he was serious when he said he has feelings for me then?"

It honestly hurt Jimin a little to hear the genuine shock and slight disapproval in Seokjin's voice. He felt bad for his friend. He truly did.

"Namjoon's a man true to his words," Jimin said, "when it counts. He's a good guy, you know."

"I'm not arguing with you, I just-" Jin shook his head. "I'm shocked. I'm just shocked, that's all."

With that, Seokjin waved a brief goodbye and went on his way without another word. And Jimin watched him till he was out of sight. Then he slowly took out his phone. 

me:
joon?

Juneberry:
yeah wassup

me:
are u ok

Juneberry:
? lol why u askin

me:
no reason 
just curious

Juneberry:
i'm good
walkin home right now 
what about you?

me:
i'm about to head home too 
just 
first 
is there something u wanted to tell me

Juneberry:
hm?
oh
yeah i asked jin out lol 
he said no but there's always next time :)

me:
right...
next time 
i'll talk to u later namjoon

Juneberry:
talk to ya later chim

At this point Jimin couldn't tell if Namjoon were in denial, or if he legitimately had hope that Seokjin would change his mind. Jimin was looking at things realistically. And right now, things weren't really looking the best for his friend, and though that upset him, as did Namjoon's vague hope, Jimin had already decided he would support him anyway.

Meanwhile Seokjin, attempting to convince himself that this whole matter was still some joke, or that it would all blow over by the end of the day and Namjoon would pretend like it didn't happen, went about his day as causally as he could. But it wasn't easy.

He wasn't sure why he let it get to him so much.

Nothing like this had ever happened before. He was well used to drawing the attention of girls everywhere, both at school and in public, but never had he noticed a guy take interest in him, let alone have the guts to do something about it. But maybe, he thought, he was just ignorant and didn't notice. Either way, Namjoon was the first he knew of.

Jin hadn't suspected it at all.

And he certainly didn't expect Namjoon to come back tomorrow with the same question.

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"No."

"Very well then. Maybe next time."

Today, Namjoon had asked at the top of the school day, before classes had started, and by the time lunch came around, Seokjin just wanted to hide.

Because he could feel it now. Namjoon's soft gaze on him, lingering without care, in adoration.

He wasn't kidding. This wasn't a joke. He really had fallen for him.

"Hey, Namjoon, you good?"

"Me?" The boy answered softly, hardly bothering to shift his eyes over to Hoseok. "Yeah. I'm good. Why?"

"Lookin' a little spacey," the redhead teased.

"Me? Spacey? Nah, I'm just thinking. Unrelated, but is that a new shirt?"

"It is, thanks for noticing! Jin bought it for me, actually."

"How kind of him."

"Yes, he is a kind soul. Aren't you, Jinnie~?"

"What?"

Hoseok snorted. "You're spacing out, too, man. What gives? Didn't sleep well?"

Flustered, Seokjin jerked his head back, then defiantly shook it. "I slept just fine, thank you very much," he huffed.

"Good." Hoseok laughed again. "Yoongi, how did you sleep?"

The mint-haired boy furrowed his brow, then uttered quietly, "Fine."

"Any sweet dreams?"

The wink following his cheeky little question earned Hoseok a kick to the shin, which both hurt and amused him, more so the latter. He quite liked knowing about his friend's secret. All the more to tease him with.

"What about you, Jimin?"

"Me? I...slept fine, thanks."

"Mm. And Jungkook?"

"Fine."

"Great!" Hoseok exclaimed. "Glad we're all on the same page. As for me, I had the freaking most hilarious dream, it was like a flashback of the Christmas Eve party, except for Jin and Namjoon disappeared at some point and we found them kissing in the bathroom!"

Seokjin coughed on his water.

"Calm down, man, it was just a dream."

Just a dream, but terrible timing.

Chapter Text

You have (1) new message from taehyung.

taehyung:
✨good morning jungkook!
how are u 2day?（＾ω＾）🌸 🌹 

Every morning. Every single morning since he put Taehyung's number into his phone, Jungkook had been waking up to see this message or something similar on his phone. He wasn't used to it. Sure, Yoongi texted him pretty often, but hardly ever first thing in the morning, simply because he was too sluggish to think or do much before eight a.m. Although, if someone texted him, he would usually try to respond. But Taehyung always did so first, as if routinely.

And if he were honest with himself, Jungkook still felt a bit shy about the whole thing, starting with Yoongi ever having prompted the whole thing to begin with. Jungkook never really was the best in social situations outside his close group of friends, and that day at the coffee shop was a whole new level of socially making a fool of himself. In his own opinion, anyway. Taehyung had found it cute, as did Yoongi, the mastermind responsible for the two's meeting.

He and Jungkook had been texting for a little while now, with Tae's messages being lively and friendly and curious, because that's the type of person he was, and Jungkook's being tentative and polite. He was gradually beginning to loosen up, though, but it would probably be a while before he could consider himself comfortable.

Taehyung was just too pretty. Too pretty, too sweet, too friendly. And he really seemed to enjoy talking to the shy Jungkook for whatever reason, which just made things worse. 

me:
i'm ok

taehyung:
^^ that's good ☺️
hey, did u eat breakfast yet??
u should come to the golden spoon!
i have the day off but i like to come here in the mornings anyway ✨

me:
well...

taehyung:
u don't have to if u don't want to! 
it's totally ok if u don't want to
i just thought it'd be fun 😊

His heart pounded against his chest. Just breakfast with a friend. You've done that with Yoongi before, remember? Don't be such a coward. He just wants to hang out, that's all.

Slowly Jungkook typed out a reply. 

me:
i guess it's alright

taehyung:
reALLY??
K I'LL SEE U SOON THEN BYEE

So bubbly. Even in text. Jungkook shook his head, climbing out of bed to go find something to wear. He froze at his closet. Then he hit himself across the cheek for overthinking he matter. There was no reason to be indecisive about what he was wearing. This wasn't a date. This wasn't a date. This was just breakfast with a friend. He wasn't going there to impress Taehyung.

But at the same time he kind of wanted to impress Taehyung. At least a little. Maybe because deep down he had unknowingly accepted that he liked the strange, happy barista. And Jungkook never thought about if he had a type before. Now he considered it might be Taehyung. 

After about ten minutes, Jungkook finally selected an outfit: casual, a pair of black jeans and a solid white t-shirt, along with his lightweight blue hoodie and a slightly heavier coat to go over that. It was still winter, after all.

Another five minutes later and he was rushing out the door, already worried that Taehyung would be disappointed for keeping him waiting so long. Jungkook practically raced to The Golden Spoon, though he made sure to slow down once he got close so once he entered, it wouldn't seem like he had been so eager to get there.

Once again, overthinking.

Pushing open the shop's door, Jungkook stepped inside and hesitated to look around. Upon lifting his head, he immediately found Taehyung sitting by himself in a corner table, waving eagerly at him.

The boy had on a galaxy-themed shirt, white sweater over top, blue jeans and a headband that pushed back some of his light brown hair, while some arched over the band.

Jungkook swore he could hear his own heartbeat attempting to sync up with his slow steps, but instead spinning wildly out of control.

Once arriving at the table, Jungkook pulled out a chair and sat down. All the while Taehyung had been watching him, smiling, with just a hint of pink dusting his cheeks.

"You look really cute."

A quiet giggle followed Tae's words, as did a deep blush from the other boy. Jungkook shrunk into himself. He twiddled his thumbs underneath the table as he chanted in his mind that there was nothing to be nervous about. Nothing at all.

"Sorry if...I kept you waiting," he said softly after some time. Taehyung's eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Why are you apologizing? I wasn't waiting that long," he insisted. "And besides, I sprung this on you without warning. I'm just glad you agreed. You don't come to the shop that often."

Jungkook shrunk into himself even more. He felt guilty. After all, the main reason he didn't come here that often was because of Taehyung, because he was so afraid of making himself look like an idiot again in front of the prettiest boy he had ever seen.

"Can I get you a coffee, Jungkook?"

The sudden question drew Jungkook from his thoughts. "U-uhm-"

"Or don't you like coffee?"

"No, I do, it's just-"

"Black or sweetened?"

"...sweetened."

"Do you want something to eat with it? I can buy you a doughnut or danish or something."

Jungkook furrowed his brow. "You...don't have to buy it, I brought money-"

"But I wanna buy it for you." The boy's smile broadened. "Can I?"

Powerless. Jungkook was powerless to Tae's deep, soft-spoken voice, which he didn't hear very often since the majority of the two's conversations happened via text. And his eyes, Taehyung's eyes, the way they were trained attentively on Jungkook, watching his every move, every reaction as though not wanting to miss it...

In a minute Taehyung had temporarily abandoned his seat so that he could go up to the counter to order for Jungkook. And too soon, it seemed, he was back again, smiling as he placed in front of Jungkook both the coffee and doughnut he had ordered. Then he reclaimed his seat.

"Try it. The coffee, I mean," Tae said. "If you don't like it, I'll go get you another one. But I think you'll like it."

With the boy's wide-eyed, curious gaze once again on him, Jungkook felt compelled to taste the coffee, gingerly raising the cup to his lips to take a careful sip. And it was sweet, but not overly sweet, so he took a second sip, then gave a slow, approving nod.

"You like it?"

"Yeah..." He gave another nod. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?"

"Can we call this a date?"

Taking another sip of his coffee at that time would have been a huge mistake on Jungkook's part, had he known the question was coming, but since he hadn't, it was just an unlucky occurrence. He choked on what he had drunk, sending himself into a brief coughing fit and Taehyung into a major panic. He extended his hand, though not really knowing what to do with it. It had been instinctive. Fortunately, Jungkook got a hold of himself before too long. But Tae's panic still held on for a bit longer.

"A-are you okay?? I'm so sorry, I...I didn't think you'd react like that, I'm sorry, I should have waited till you put the coffee down. Are you alright??"

Jungkook nodded several times, quickly, just to assure the other boy that he really was okay. In one sense, anyway. In another, he was still in the process of...well, processing Taehyung's words.

I misheard him. I misheard him. You just misheard him, Jungkook.

"Is that a 'no' to the date, then?"

No, I was wrong. I didn't mishear him.

He couldn't answer right away. His hands trembled, fingertips tapping rapidly against the coffee cup which he now held tightly in his grasp. He hadn't prepared for this.

"Uhm...I-"

"You're allowed to say no," Taehyung told him, despite obviously hoping for a positive response. "I just...wanted to ask..."

Their eyes met—accidentally, because initially Jungkook had been trying to avoid the other's gaze, but the moment he failed was the moment he caved in and admitted to what he was feeling. "I'd...like that," he said.

Now it was Taehyung's time to freeze up. "...you would?"

"...yeah..."

"...oh...well, that's...good."

The blush on his face, the small pout, the shy side-glances, everything about Jungkook, right now, made Taehyung just want to pick up him and squeeze him, and maybe kiss his pink cheeks, too. But that was too much, at least now. So instead, Tae slowly moved his hand across the table towards Jungkook's, and he touched his fingers so as to test whether or not the boy would pull away. When he didn't, Jungkook soon found the back of his hand being gently caressed by Taehyung's thumb.

It wasn't good for his heart. These soft, gentle actions, Taehyung's smile, all of this. Jungkook honestly felt he was on the verge of melting, becoming a part of this coffee shop seat on which he sat. His body felt warm. Except oddly enough, it wasn't uncomfortable. This boy's touch was anything but uncomfortable.

"...your hands are soft."

"So are yours."

Taehyung giggled again. "Thank you. I do try to take care of my skin."

"It shows."

"Mm. Can I ask you another question?"

"Okay."

"Do you wanna go on a walk with me?"

"...I'd like that, too."

Chapter Text

An uneventful Friday night and Jimin was in his room, mindlessly scrolling through his phone, which he decided he would do until he grew tired enough to go to bed. Fortunately, he was starting to feel sleep tugging at his eyelids, however was sadly startled upon receiving a sudden text from Yoongi, interrupting the quietness with a sharp ding. 

Yoongi:
hey jimin

me:
what

Yoongi:
nothing really, just wanted to say hi is that so wrong

me:
i didn't say that 
i was just wondering why u texted

Yoongi:
lol
well i guess maybe i did have a reason
just cuz i realized that tomorrow is gonna be really boring
so i was gonna ask if u wanted to do something
ya know, so it's not so boring 

Of course, just to spite him, Jimin's mind replayed the memory of the last time he had been to Yoongi's house, the unexpected kissing that he'd ended up parting with.

And it wasn't that he expected it to happen again. But with slightly pink cheeks Jimin replied:

me:
i guess...
it's not like i have anything better to do...

Yoongi:
ok cool
ya wanna just stop by my house some time tomorrow morning

me:
wtvr

Yoongi:
k see u then

It was still a bit weird to him. Well, maybe weird wasn't the right word, but Jimin wasn't about to deny that acting completely normal around Yoongi after some of the things that had happened between the two of them wasn't the easiest. But he knew he had to. He had to maintain as normal a composure as possible, to go back to how he had been when the two were just friends hanging out, because that's what they were supposed to be doing now. Just friends.

Who may have cuddled and kissed a few times.

It was just so freaking difficult. Just to think about those things, and then realize that the next time they met again, Jimin would have to act like it didn't happen.

He didn't know how long he could suppress it. Or if he would have to forever, or if fortune would smile upon him for once in his life. Then again, even if that were to happen, the boy would still have the issue of getting over his whole "not being deserving of Yoongi" mentality, which would certainly be an obstacle.

Attempting to push the heavy thought aside, Jimin set down his phone, lay down in bed, and went to sleep after several minutes of unwanted (but pleasant) daydreaming.

He woke up earlier than usual, without an alarm since it was Sunday and he had no reason to be up incredibly early, yet at just a little before 8 am he found himself getting dressed for the day. And he nearly forgot, only recalling once he was about to pick something to wear, that he had agreed to going over Yoongi's house that morning.

After putting on his jeans and t-shirt he sat down again and took out his phone.

me:
gonna walk over now
just a heads up

He didn't wait for a reply, because Yoongi had already told him he could head over when he wanted, and Jimin assumed the response would be something like "k" anyway. So he tucked his phone into his back pocket, slipped on his shoes and leather jacket, and went on his way, leaving his father, who was in the kitchen, with a brief "going to a friend's, I'll see you later."

With that, his walk began. Down around ten or so blocks, which really wasn't all that far away, past The Golden Spoon, several strings of houses, a library Jimin hardly went to, and a convenience store he used to visit a lot with Jihyun when they were younger.

He hadn't been there in at least eight years.

It was on the block just before Yoongi's house, actually. Jimin ended up slowing his walking pace considerably at that point. He thought about stopping by, but eventually decided against it, wondering if he were being waited on and hating the thought. So he approached Yoongi's door and knocked on it. But just gently.

It was loud enough, however, to be heard by the nearest set of ears. Which Jimin hoped would be Yoongi's.

"Orange kid!"

Riyeon, the mint-haired boy's older sister, with her blonde hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, answered the door with a pleasantly surprised smile. Jimin froze up.

"Wasn't expecting you to drop by. Jimin, right?"

Having no words, Jimin gave a tentative nod.

"Thought so." She also nodded. "Hey, so Yoongles' is out right now but he should be back any minute, so why don't you come inside and make yourself comfortable?"

He didn't know why he took her up on the offer—maybe it was her amiable nature, the friendly words and demeanor—but Jimin soon was taking baby steps into the house, then waiting by patiently as Riyeon began preparing a cup of coffee for him without him having asked.

She was kind.

"Here ya go."

Handing him a glass mug, the woman flashed another smile at the boy who thanked her in a soft voice. Then he raised the mug to his lips to take a sip: hot, refreshing, but just a bit bitter for his taste. Luckily Riyeon pointed to sugar and creamers she already had sitting on the counter. Jimin thanked her again and helped himself.

"Does Yoongi know you were comin' over?" She asked.

"He does," Jimin replied. "He invited me. Said I could stop by any time in the morning." Sighing, he shifted his eyes to the left. "Kinda expected him to be here..."

"Like I said, he should be back any minute now," Riyeon assured the boy. "He just went to the post office to mail something to our mom. It's not far from here."

It took a moment to register. And then a bit longer to evaluate.

"Doesn't...your mom live here?"

"No, our parents are divorced," Riyeon said casually, as she opened the refrigerator to retrieve something.

She wasn't joking. Of course she wasn't, Jimin knew she wasn't, yet still that was his instinctive assumption, because something from months before argued with Riyeon's response. 

"But Yoongi told me one time..." He hesitated. "...his mother had been out of the house, shopping..."

Riyeon turned to him. Whilst tightening the lid of her water bottle, she furrowed her brow, pursing her lips, evidently puzzled upon hearing this. However soon, her expression relaxed a bit, as she replied, "Well, that's not true. Don't know why he would tell you that. Well-" She stopped herself mid-sentence, then sighed gently. "-I guess I get why, but at the same time he didn't have to lie to you, he could have just spared the details. But hey, that's between you and him. Point is, our mom doesn't live here, and hasn't for over a year. And I can't say I miss her, I'll be honest with you." 

She must have realized quite soon that it might have been an awkward or uncomfortable note to end on, so she quickly made up for it with another reassuring smile that almost worked on Jimin. Almost.

"I gotta leave now," she said. "Our dad went in to work early today, so you'll be the only one here. But I'll tell you what, I'm going in the direction of the post office so if Yoongles for some reason is still there, I'll drag him back by his ears, 'k?"

Jimin forced a small smile in return, waving shyly to Riyeon as she exited the house with a cheery "I'll see you 'round!"

He wasn't cheery, though. In any way. And he felt odd, just sitting there on the living room couch of a house that wasn't his, waiting for the boy who had apparently lied to him about something he wasn't expecting to be upset over. Maybe it was that comment of Riyeon's. Or simply the fact that Yoongi had lied to begin with. Whatever it was, it settled unpleasantly in Jimin's chest until the moment the front door opened again. 

In walked the unsuspecting Yoongi--unsuspecting in the sense that he didn't know about what Jimin and his sister had briefly talked about, he did know Jimin would be here, because Riyeon had so firmly urged him to hurry back to the house and not leave his "shy, incredibly handsome friend" all alone. 

"Sorry, Jimin," he said, slipping out of his sneakers and leaving them by the door. "I wasn't expecting you to be here this early. Hope you weren't waiting here too long."

For some time, there was no reply, and with every second that passed Yoongi inched closer and closer to the realization that something was wrong, that there was something he was supposed to say, or ask, or do. 

"...does your mom live far away, Yoongi?"

Jimin's question answered all his questions. And Yoongi didn't say anything at first. He paused a moment, then made his way over to the boy and sat down beside him on the couch. 

"She moved to Incheon," he replied. "So pretty far." 

"I see..."

"Mhm."

"Yoongi?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me your parents were divorced?"

"I don't know, to be honest with you." 

It wasn't the answer Jimin had expected. Then again, this was another one of those occasions in which Jimin didn't really know what he did expect. He pressed his back against the couch. It wasn't easy to get comfortable right now. 

The atmosphere was tense, not lighthearted, certainly not ideal, and certainly not what Yoongi had in mind when he had asked Jimin to hang out. But here they were now. And Yoongi wasn't about to dodge around this bullet he felt he needed to take at some point. 

"I shouldn't have lied," he said under his breath, shamefully. "Really, I had no reason to. I guess, just...in my mind I didn't want you to know the story behind the whole issue, but that wasn't an excuse for me to lie. So yeah..." He cleared his throat, glancing at Jimin but the boy was still facing forward and staring at his hands. "...my parents are divorced."

"Has it been long?"

"Not extremely long. It was around the time I came out, so...a little over a year."

It was then that Jimin faced him--slowly, and with sad eyes that had already connected some of the dots. At least, it's what he was assuming. He didn't want to be right. He didn't want to ask, either, because even the question, even the thought sounded depressing. Instead he allowed his gaze to linger on Yoongi for a bit longer, watching bitter remembrance dawn on the boy's pretty face.

"My mother was...never really the kindest person." He inhaled gradually, deeply through his nostrils, letting his breath go even more gradually, deeply. "She yelled more often than she needed, she was never patient with anyone, she'd hit my sister and I from time to time, she was strict with how she wanted things to be, even people to be. Not open-minded in the slightest form of the definition. Nothing like my father. She was always on her feet, always barking about this or that, whereas my father was and sill is such a patient and easygoing man."

Yoongi's tone had softened at the mere mention of his father. But it toughened again with emotion when he changed subjects again.

"The day I came out to my mom was the worse day of my life."

If he hadn't been already, Jimin was fully attentive now. So much so that he didn't even notice his fingers now brushing against the other boy's hand. 

"I told her," he said, "and she didn't hesitate to start screaming at me. And she grabbed my arm and gripped it so tightly it bruised, and she shouted at me, so loudly, so aggressively that my dad heard it from outside, and by the time he came inside I was an absolute mess, and so was Mom, and everything just-"

He took a moment to get himself together. By the looks and sounds of it, it was far from an easy task. 

"...she and my dad got into a fight, a loud, hellish fight that honestly made me wish I hadn't told my mom, especially since the end result was her demanding a divorce."

Jimin's hand moved on its own to intertwine with Yoongi's. 

"It seems like a harsh escalation," the mint-haired boy whispered. "But there was a lot going on behind the scenes. It wasn't just me coming out as gay that made her want to leave. My dad told me the two of them had been going through some issues for years, some Riyeon and I knew about, some we didn't. One of them was that my mother didn't think she was raising me right. She thought she went wrong somewhere, because her only son was just this unresponsive, despondent, angry boy who didn't care about school or...anything at all, really. I was a disappointment in her eyes. And it frustrated her that she didn't know how to fix me, rather, that I didn't let her 'fix' me, not through her words, not through..."

His voice tapered off. 

"...she blamed me."

Yoongi squeezed Jimin's hand.

"I blamed me."

Sighing raggedly, he drew in another shallow breath, struggling to maintain stability in his voice.

"My dad told me it wasn't my fault, and that he believed he stopped loving her the day she first hit Riyeon and I...but y'know, a part of me still suffered from the guilt of it. Even if I weren't fully to blame, I was what spurred on her final decision. And I told this all to Hobi the same day I came to school wearing that rainbow sweater, and he had already hated my mom before then, and this just turned it full force..."

It was such a heavy, regretful silence. The boys' hands were clasped together still, with neither of them thinking much of it at the time, because it had been initiated without thought. Just feeling.

"Even with all the terrible things she did and said to me, she's still my mother. And I love her. Just, maybe not quite enough to want her to stay and drain our family more than she's already done. Especially my dad. I owe him everything."

"And I owe you everything."

It caught Yoongi off guard. He turned to Jimin, eyes widened just a bit, and he locked gazes with the other boy, and tender, but firm, Jimin held that gaze of his. 

"Let's kiss."

"W-" Yoongi's cheeks flushed. "Jimin, what's...what's gotten into y-"

"You look depressingly sad, and it makes me sad, and I don't like that, and you look like you could use a distraction, and when I needed one you-"

"Okay."

Jimin tensed. Yoongi leaned closer. 

"Let's kiss, Jimin."

Pressing soft lips on soft lips, they kissed each other, pouring out love without the other knowing, but they, themselves, knew that it felt so right. This was the third time now. Jimin wondered if it would just become more natural for them. It was already starting to feel that way. 

One tear fell from Yoongi's eye. But after that, sad and bitter turned to warm and sweet, as the kissing continued, heartbeats quickened, and they both just fell even more in love with each other. Natural...it truly did feel so oddly natural now.

The so-obvious-fools-in-love that they were shut out logic completely. 

Just two empathetic hearts, beating together, knowing, understanding each other. 

Two pairs of lips, not wanting to leave the other alone...

Chapter Text

It happened every so often. 

Seokjin would see, out of the corner of his eye, that boy approaching, with a small, hopeful smile on his face, and the words that came from his mouth were always the same. 

"Would you like to go out with me, Jin?"

He didn't know why or how Namjoon could be so persistent. Jin hadn't left it in subtext that he was straight. He said it outright, pretty much every time, and stressed that he wasn't going to change his mind. And yet still that boy came back, as though completely disregarding those words. 

It was becoming exasperating. 

Jin knew he was never really a patient person, but recently he had been trying to improve that, but this was just pushing him the wrong way. And the thing that bothered him was that Namjoon wasn't a bad person, so he didn't want to be rude, but at the same time, the boy's persistence was getting out of hand. No means no, he'd told him on several occasions. Apparently that hadn't made it clear enough. 

He just didn't understand it. How a boy could fall for him, moreover a boy who was allegedly, like him, 100% straight. But again, he had confirmed this wasn't merely some ongoing prank, because he had spoken with Jimin about it, and more importantly, he could see the look in Namjoon's eyes. Something pure, genuine, something Seokjin had never seen anyone look at him with. Not even any of the girlfriends he'd had before. 

It was frustrating. Troubling, and Jin just wished Namjoon would get over it already. 

On the Monday of a new school week, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed - Seokjin, that is, whereas Namjoon awoke with that vague determination of his that he was convinced would never waver. 

Yes, he would ask Jin out again today. And Jin would go to school today, dreading that question. 

It just wasn't a good morning for him. On top of feeling as though he received not a wink of sleep, a package of his that was delivered that morning had been stolen, and even though it wasn't extremely expensive, it still upset him. Because of his sour mood Jin also forgot to grab the lunch he had taken the time to prepare the previous night, which he only recalled upon arriving at school. 

The stolen package and forgetting his lunch were two strikes. 

And just shortly after the school day began came the third one. 

Kim Namjoon, that persistent boy. 

It was right before PE started, and Jin was sitting on one of the benches in the gymnasium, his head in his hands as he tried to shake off the stress that had gotten the best of him that morning. He knew to an extent that maybe he was being dramatic, at least about the package and his lunch, but he justified himself in the sense that there were other things on his mind that just added to the exhaustion. 

One being that persistent boy, who Jin, for once, didn't see approaching due to being distracted. In fact, it almost slipped his mind. 

But then he heard Namjoon open his mouth, and he flipped. 

"You're the last person I want to see right now," Jin groaned, not even trying remotely to hide his exasperation. "For goodness' sake, don't you get tired of this crap?? You're driving me up a wall with this!! What part of no don't you understand?! Just leave me alone!!"

It struck like a bullet. Not sugar-coated in any way, raw, unfiltered exasperation that caused Namjoon's countenance to grow pale, his eyes sparking with guilt and heartbreak like two simultaneous blows to the head. He looked like a kicked puppy, and Jin had been the one to kick that puppy. 

"I...I'm sorry..."

He bowed. Something Seokjin hadn't expected, hadn't asked for, and hadn't wanted. And that struck him. As did that awful, heart-wrenching regret on Namjoon's face as he apologized once more, than gradually peeled himself away from Jin's presence. And Jin just watched with conflicted eyes as that boy he had grown so used to seeing with optimism in his dimpled cheeks, now trudging away dejectedly back to his best friend, who looked to have witnessed the scene. 

Jin didn't want to be bothered by it. He really didn't.

That lunch period, Namjoon didn't show up at the group's table like he usually did. And as soon as Jimin realized he friend wasn't coming, he also left. Because he knew why Namjoon wasn't there. 

Yoongi and Jungkook had also been around to witness Jin lash out at Namjoon. Hoseok, however, was none the wiser. 

"What's going on?"

"I already told you," Seokjin muttered, pushing away the food his red-haired offered him. "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, my package was stolen, and I left my lunch at home. End of conversation."

"No, you know what I mean..." Hoseok sighed and glanced at Yoongi, who just shook his head. 

"It's not my business to say."

"Well, then, how am I supposed to know what's going on??"

"Jin told Namjoon to leave him alone."

They all looked at Jungkook. 

"...jeez, thanks, Kook, you're a real trooper."

"Don't get mad at him," Yoongi said, putting his arm around the boy. "Poor kid just doesn't like seeing his parents fight-"

"Parents?!"

"Jin, I'm joking, calm down."

Evidently, he wasn't fond of the joke, which was rare for Seokjin because he found most things funny. Once upon a time he had even found kissing Namjoon on the cheek with lipstick funny. Just not this, and not now. 

"Jin-"

"No, don't talk to me," the boy huffed, "you're probably gonna say something like I should go apologize to him or whatever."

"And what if I do?"

Jin pouted, hesitating to meet Yoongi's gaze. 

"Jin, you're more mature than this, c'mon." The mint-haired boy sighed, acquiring that admonishing parent disposition of his that could make anyone feel guilty for their actions. "I get you're stressed, and you have every right to be, but you shouldn't have taken it out on him like that. Whether or not he wasn't getting the message to quit asking you out is irrelevant. He has feelings, too, and you could have treated the situation a little more delicately."

He had kept his voice down, as this was a secret only known among their small group of friends at this point. Namjoon had never made a scene in his asking Jin out, but rather done so quietly, subtly most times, to avoid drawing attention to the two of them. Then there was today, where Jin hadn't even attempted to keep anything quiet, or subtle. He'd probably embarrassed Namjoon, on top of making him feel utterly terrible.

He really didn't want to feel bothered by this. But he knew it would eat at him if he didn't say anything. 

"I don't have Jimin's or his number," Seokjin muttered after some time. 

"I have both," Yoongi said. "I'll just text Jimin and ask where they are."

"I knew he'd get exhausted by me sooner or later."

They ended up going up to the roof, where just a few other students were at this time, not nearly as many as in the cafeteria, so it was much quieter up here. More room to think and talk, which was what Namjoon needed right now. 

"I was worried he would," Jimin added. His expression had been taken over by the same regret that had washed over his friend's. "I should have told you sooner."

"No, no, I think it's better I learned the limits on my own." Namjoon forced a tiny smile. "But thank you, Chim. I...appreciate you more than you know. I'm jealous, though, of what you and Yoongi have." His smile broadened. Jimin's cheeks reddened. 

"Don't say that."

"Why not? You guys literally made out on his couch, and yet you're somehow not dating."

A frown took form on Jimin's face as the heat rose on his face. Why did I tell him that? "Stop...you know it's not that easy for me right now."

"Yeah, I know." Namjoon stifled a laugh. "Your relationship status still in 'it's complicated'..."

This teasing comment earned the boy a gentle slap on the arm, which honestly just lightened the mood. So he was grateful, once again, for Jimin just being Jimin. 

"What happened after the make-out session, by the way?" Namjoon nosily added. "You never elaborated, I wanna know how you guys reacted after that."

Jimin just shook his head in defiance. He wasn't about to tell his friend about Yoongi looking deeply into his eyes and thanking him...

Luckily, he didn't have to. Because right then their conversation was interrupted by that last person either of them expected to interrupt them. 

Seokjin stood over the two, who had been sitting on the ground, but stood up upon noticing him. 

"Uh, J-"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry."

Namjoon was shocked. And Jin could see that, and it honestly didn't sit well with him that the boy would react that way to an apology. If anything, Seokjin would say it should have been expected, or at least hoped for. But Namjoon just seemed confused.

"You don't need to apologize," he insisted. "I'm the one who was being inconsiderate. I wouldn't leave you alone. I don't blame you for getting frustrated with me."

"Don't say that or I'll get more frustrated." Jin ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at the locks a bit, because he didn't have anything to hit his head with at the moment. "Listen-" He looked directly at Namjoon. "I'm sorry, okay? Don't tell me an apology isn't necessary. i wasn't having a good morning, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. So...I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Namjoon."

It was as heartwarming as it was heartbreaking for him. But Namjoon just smiled and gave a brief nod, then said softly, "I'm sorry, too." 

Jin arched his brows. "No. Don't you apologize, this was my-"

"Nope, I shouldn't have been pestering you constantly in the first place. I started it."

"No, you're missing my point here, I-"

"-had every right to get frustrated with me-"

"Stop."

Namjoon just laughed warmly at him, which acted as the defeating strike and drew a sigh from Jin. Jimin, who had been watching in silence, found it just a bit heartbreaking. Of course, he was glad Seokjin had come around to apologize, but at the same time, it only made Namjoon's situation sadder to him. 

If Seokjin were a jerk, he could help his friend get over the boy easier. 

But in truth Namjoon didn't want to get over him. 

He just knew he had to. 

Somehow. 

Chapter Text

The events of the previous day still bothered Jimin. His talk with Namjoon about Seokjin, and the sincere apology his friend made to the boy despite his own heart being broken, and just...everything about it. So going into school that morning he wasn't in the best mood. And it didn't help that he could feel people staring at him for whatever reason, some of which appeared to be whispering with one another about something or other.

He shrugged it off. As best he could, anyway.

Some time before first period began that day, Sojung, Jimin's classmate who sat right behind him, slid into his desk while reaching out to tap Jimin obnoxiously on the shoulder.

"Heyyyy~"

Jimin immediately swatted his hand away. "Piss off."

"You always say that." The other boy sighed. "Gimme a chance to at least say something, will ya? Unless you already know what it's about~"

"No idea, and I don't care." Jimin rolled his eyes, hoping the conversation would end there but knowing for a fact that it wouldn't. Surely enough, Sojung continued.

"Tomorrow's Friday."

"So it is."

"You're going, right?"

"Don't know what you're talking about, but no."

In response, Jimin received an exasperated groan from his classmate, who had the audacity to grab his shoulder. "C'mon, man," he whined. "You do too know. Don't mess with me."

Jimin paused for a moment. In the back of his mind, he felt something. A vague, vague memory of something he had overheard from people, perhaps been spoken to directly once about, but discarded because it didn't mean anything to him.

It came back to him. Someone's birthday party. A freaking birthday party. As if he couldn't possibly care little enough to begin with, and someone was bugging him about it now.

"I'm not going."

"Minseo's gonna be heartbroken."

"Why should that bother me?" Scoffing, Jimin bothered to throw an irritated glance over his shoulder, even more annoyed to find Sojung gazing at him with disappointment. "I haven't even spoken to her in months. I don't know why she would care if I show up to her stupid birthday party."

"You're so weird, man." The boy shook his head as a drawn-out sigh left his lips. "The prettiest girl in the school is so obviously in love with you and you act like it's a nuisance."

"Because it is," Jimin said bluntly.

"What's with you? Do girls just bore you now?"

It was like a switch flipped at those words. Jimin's defense switch. "Who ever said that?"

"No one, man." Sojung sighed again. "It's just...your behavior."

A tug at his chest. He heard whispers around him. Or maybe they were just in his head. He couldn't tell at the time.

"My behavior nothing..." He said under his breath, then a little louder, "nothing's weird about my behavior."

"Mm. Then why don't you seem interested in dating? And going to parties? Those are normal teenage things that you used to care more about."

"It's none of your concern."

"Got anything to do with the pastel boy?" Sojung asked, tone rising as in a teasing manner. He gasped dramatically. "No! Don't tell me! He's blackmailing you!" Amused by his own joke, Sojung gave a small burst of laughter, bending over to clutch his stomach. "Oh, the thought of that...shortie's probably got a crush on you and wants you for himself."

Jimin's blood boiled. It boiled, and as it did so fear rose with the heat, causing him to become trapped in conflicting feelings that were all too familiar at this point. "Who are you calling shortie?" He muttered. "I'm like the same height as him."

The response surprised Sojung. There was no arguing with that. His expression alone made that clear, though he commented anyway as though it was necessary to get his puzzlement across.

"Are you defending him?"

The blood continued to boil. "Maybe I am."

"You're full of surprises, aren't you, Park Jimin?"

Sojung chuckled quietly to himself, shaking his head almost in disbelief. Jimin really hoped this time, that the conversation would end here. Because he could feel himself on the verge of getting worked up.

"I feel like you've just got some kind of secret holding you hostage, Jimin."

Yoongi heard. He had been in the classroom, several seats away, but tuned out for the majority of the conversation because Jungkook had been talking to him. However Jungkook turned back around in his seat in time for Yoongi to hear that one sentence. And his chest just froze up.

He knew it was his fault. Why Jimin was being suspected of things. Why he was being accused of "changing." And sure, some of the things the boy was being accused of may have been true, but the last thing Yoongi wanted was for Jimin to be found out before he was ready.

So if he could, he would change that. 

"Jimin, hey, wait a second. Do you wanna go get coffee?"

He managed to catch Jimin moments before the boy was about to turn the other way to head home. And Jimin just spun around, confused, as though asking to go get coffee was the most absurd question in the world right now.

"Why?"

Yoongi stopped in front of him, then shrugged. "Just 'cus. Why not? You busy?"

Jimin glanced bitterly away, bottom lip sticking out to further emphasize his unpleasant mood.

Yoongi cracked a smile. Cutie...

"I'm not busy," the boy muttered. "I just didn't expect you'd ask to get coffee."

"Well, let's get coffee."

"...why-"

"Jimin, for goodness' sake, I'm not asking you to run a marathon with me, it's just coffee, let's go."

He felt he couldn't argue. Or maybe he was just too tired to. Either way, Jimin soon found himself walking alongside Yoongi all the way to The Golden Spoon, where Yoongi offered to wait in line for their coffee while Jimin saved them a spot.

Roughly ten minutes later and the mint-haired boy joined his friend with a smile as he set down the two hot beverages.

Things were quiet for a bit after that. Yoongi took a careful sip of his coffee, then sighed.

"...so, are you planning on going to what's-her-face's party tomorrow?"

At this, Jimin lifted his head, shocked that Yoongi would bring it up to begin with, and just a little resentful that the topic was brought up again at all. He didn't want to remember his conversation with Sojung from that morning.

"...why would I?" The boy eventually responded, and returned his attention to his coffee.

"Well, why not? It could be fun, right?"

It was odd to him. Yoongi making the suggestion. It shouldn't have mattered to him whether or not Jimin went. "I have no reason to go."

"What if I go?"

He was just confusing Jimin more and more now with every word. He shot the mint-haired boy a weird look. "Why should that change my decision?"

"No, look, Jimin, I have a plan-"

"Oh, no, those are never good words, from anyone-" Jimin interrupted, and he shook his head in disapproval. It just made Yoongi laugh. The boy had a point. Ninety percent of the time those words meant bad things. But he meant a good thing. At least he hoped.

Honestly it was a spontaneous thought he wanted to try putting into action.

When things grew quiet again, Yoongi rested his elbows on the table, looking thoughtfully across from him at his friend who was in the process of drinking his coffee and pouting.

"...Jimin, I just wanna help you clear the suspicions."

His voice was soft. Sympathetic. Jimin felt a firm tug at his chest, a bitter expression washing over his face once again, but inside he didn't feel bitter. Just afraid.

"Are they really suspicions if they're accurate?"

Yoongi tried to analyze the boy's face. "Jimin-"

"I don't see how going to the party will change that, anyway."

He just felt bad for Jimin. From the looks of it, the boy was sick to his stomach with fear, and the fact that Yoongi knew he was the root cause of it didn't make him feel any better about it. Jimin had made progress. Immense progress. But it didn't seem he was prepared to be judged by the entire school just yet. And Yoongi completely understood that.

"I, uh..." He sighed, clearing his throat. "I dunno...maybe going to the party and socializing would make people change their minds a little?"

"But I don't wanna socialize with them."

"I'll go with you."

Jimin's head was facing down slightly but he lifted his gaze enough to look at Yoongi. "I socialize with you on a daily basis," he pointed out obviously. "That's what started the suspicion to begin with."

Yoongi sighed deeply. "I didn't mean I'd go there dressed like this." As Jimin stared up at him again the mint-haired boy gestured at his pastel attire. "I'll...change it up a bit. Pretend to be someone else for a night."

Jimin rolled his eyes to the right. "That sounds ridiculous."

"It's not that ridiculous," Yoongi countered. "Think about it. I'll go with you to the party wearing, ya know, 'straight-guy' clothes, do something with my hair, and maybe wear one of those sick masks so people won't be able to see most of my face. And I'll just be there with you so it looks like you're doing normal teenage stuff, but you won't be as uncomfortable. Ya know?"

There was a long pause as Jimin's countenance gradually slipped into a state of utter deadpan.

"...you've either been watching too many tv shows, or you've absolutely lost your mind."

"It's either that, or I dress up as a girl and pretend to be your girlfriend-"

"Okay, you really have lost your mind."

Yoongi couldn't help but laugh now, having to hold off on taking a drink of his coffee because he knew he would just spit it out. Evidently, from the looks of it Jimin wasn't at all amused. However little did Yoongi know the boy's heart was somersaulting at his expression of delight.

"I'm not gonna do that," Yoongi finally said after he had gotten a hold of himself. "But I am serious about the first thing."

Jimin shrunk into his seat. "...you really think it'll make any difference?"

"I mean, it could," Yoongi said with a shrug. "Besides, I haven't gone to a party in a while, and this can be a chance for you to give me a makeover."

"I'm not giving you a makeover..."

"Well, can I at least borrow some of your clothes?"

"W-why?"

"Were you listening to anything I said?"

"Kinda..."

"Just give me the straightest thing you have."

"That doesn't make any sense—how 'bout a straitjacket?"

"No..."

"Just don't wear your sweaters."

Yoongi tugged at his pink shirt.

"Or that."

"Do you have like, a Metallica shirt I could borrow?"

"No??"

"Well, what do straight guys wear?"

"Clothes??" Jimin threw his hands out as a gesture of sarcasm. "You're overthinking this..."

"I'm just messing with you," Yoongi chuckled. "But I do wanna make it convincing. That's the point."

"...just wear a t-shirt and jeans, it's not that difficult."

"Mm, sounds too simple. I'll think about it."

"You're exasperating..."

Chapter Text

He still didn't want to go.

Even with Yoongi's encouragement, assurance, and insisting that this would be beneficial, possibly "clear some suspicions" or whatever, Jimin still felt he would much rather stay in his room. Or just hang out with Yoongi. No one else.

But alas, he had agreed. And so at just a little past eight o'clock Jimin was slipping on his leather jacket and preparing to head out the door, as the plan was to meet up at Yoongi's house and head to the party location together. And Jimin honestly had no idea what time the thing started, but he really wasn't too concerned about being there first. Or even on time, for that matter.

It was around 8:30 when he arrived at Yoongi's door. And he sent his friend a text, not wanting to knock and possibly disturb one of the boy's family members. So he just let Yoongi know he was outside waiting.

To his surprise he didn't have to wait long. Because apparently Yoongi had been waiting for him.

The door was opened, the boy stepped out, then the door was closed again. He turned around.

Black hair, either sprayed or a wig, Jimin didn't know, but that didn't really concern him, all he could focus on was that Yoongi looked. So. Hot.

It was like a completely different person. Not a trace of pastel, of the Yoongi Jimin had seen just earlier that day at school. He now had on a charcoal grey shirt underneath a leather jacket—which evidently wasn't Jimin's he asked to borrow, because Jimin was wearing his—a pair of tight-fitting, dark-blue jeans, and black, laced combat boots.

The bottom of his face was covered by a sickness mask. But by the crinkling in that boy's eyes Jimin could tell he was smiling.

"How do I look?"

Those words alone, slightly muffled due to the mask, caused Jimin's cheeks to become deeply stained by a regretful red hue. Because he, unlike Yoongi, wasn't wearing a mask. So there was nothing to hide it.

He turned his back to Yoongi. Jimin heard him utter a sigh. "I asked you how I look, and you're just gonna ignore me? Jimin, I'm wounded. You wounded me."

"You know how you look," Jimin said under his breath, "now let's go."

"No, I'm serious. I want your opinion. Does it look weird?"

"Different."

"Good different?"

What frustrated Jimin at the moment was that he couldn't tell if Yoongi were intentionally teasing him, or if he genuinely weren't confident about the look and wanted a second opinion. Either way Jimin really didn't want to have to turn around again.

"Jimin, c'mon, you can be honest with me if it looks weird on me." Yoongi put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Is it convincing, at least?"

As much as he hated it, he felt guilty ignoring Yoongi, so Jimin reluctantly turned around again, slowly, yet his heart practically lunged forward at the sight. He wished he had an excuse. An excuse to take Yoongi's face in his hands and kiss him right here.

He was so tempted to pull down that mask.

"So can I can a straight guy rating?"

Jimin made a face at him.

"You know, like, if you were straight, how would you rate me on a scale of 1-10?"

"...I dunno, a five?"

"Ouch. What about a gay guy rating?"

"Why does it matter??"

Yoongi gave an innocent shrug. "Your opinion matters to me."

Cute. Why is that cute?? "Well, it shouldn't. Now let's go."

He started walking, annoyed with Yoongi's behavior but more so how the boy was making him feel, but he was stopped once he felt his friend grab his arm. And he laughed—Yoongi, that is. Jimin was in no mood to laugh. Right now he just wanted to bury his face in a pillow. Better yet, a machete.

"Riyeon said she could give us a ride to what's-her-face's house," he briefly explained. "It's not that close to here. Walking might take forty-five minutes. Or something. I dunno, driving's quicker."

Jimin stared at him for a moment, felt himself blushing again, then tore his arm away. "Fine...is she gonna be ready s-"

As if on cue the door burst open, and who should appear there but the woman herself, proudly dressed in apparel uncannily similar to something Yoongi would wear on a daily basis. The boy in question spun around only to fire his sister a look of utter disgust.

"Who said you could wear my sweater?!"

"You're playing 'edgy boy' tonight," she replied innocently, sporting a smile as she showed off the  bright yellow sweater which complimented her warm blonde hair and white dress, "so I'm playing 'happy summer girl'."

Yoongi was not amused.

"What? Can't I pretend, too?"

She couldn't help but laugh as her brother continued to stare judgmentally at her. Jimin, on the other hand, was simply nervous Riyeon would make teasing comments about the two boys that he wouldn't be able to shake off.

Thankfully, she didn't. Once the three had climbed into Riyeon's car, the entire drive was spent with music played at a somewhat loud but comfortable volume, and few words exchanged between the two siblings.

Jimin was spared from embarrassment. For now.

"Thanks for the ride, Riyeon. I guess you can borrow my sweater."

Riyeon smirked as Yoongi and Jimin both opened their car doors and were about to get out.

"You two lovebirds don't have too much fun now, okay?"

Jimin had just closed the door as these words were spoken, and he didn't have enough time to correct Riyeon before she drove off again. Yoongi sighed in great disappointment.

"She's a piece of work."

Jimin dug his hands into his pockets as he tried to push the thought aside. Surprisingly it wasn't too difficult, as now he and Yoongi were right outside Minseo's house and could already hear loud music and voices from inside, as well as from the backyard.

Yoongi noticed the orange-haired boy staring into space. Concernedly, he tapped his friend's arm—didn't say anything, but raised his brow once Jimin glanced at him.

"Fine, it's fine, we're already here." He shook his head. "Moreover, you need to change your name."

Yoongi blinked. "...I'm sorry?"

"I can't call you Yoongi," Jimin scoffed, "because then that would defeat the purpose of you dressing up like this and being here. So pick a name for yourself."

"Uh...Kihyun."

"Why Kihyun?"

"Cus it's cute."

Jimin stared at him blankly, then shook his head as he started towards the front door. Yoongi followed shortly behind. The former knocked, and seconds later the door was opened by some girl Jimin didn't recognize, but who seemed awfully happy to see him.

"Jimin! I didn't know you were gonna be here!"

"Me neither," he said, rolling his eyes. The girl stepped aside to let Jimin step inside—Yoongi, too, though at first she didn't notice him standing there. Once she did, her eyes grew wide and curious, turning immediately to Jimin with a questioning glance.

But he ignored her and continued walking into the house. There were too many people standing by the door. If he stayed there any longer, Jimin felt he'd get swallowed up, and that was the last thing he wanted.

So as he walked on, Yoongi followed, struggling in doing so.

The loud music being played was located outside, so inside, it was muffled, and frankly just obnoxious but no one else seemed bothered by it. In fact, not even Yoongi. But that was only because the song currently playing was one the boy didn't mind. While he followed Jimin's footsteps through the kitchen, out the back door and into the large backyard, he subtly bobbed his head to the music.

"...what are you doing?"

"It's Britney Spears. You like Britney Spears?"

Jimin scoffed.

Yoongi mimicked him.

"You're being immature."

"You're being a buzzkill."

"And keep your voice down, if anyone recognizes your voice then once again, that defeats the purpose of you being h-"

"Jimin!!"

He froze at the unexpected sound of his name being called. And it took a minute, but he registered who it was just a moment before his eyes caught sight of the voice's owner walking towards them.

Minseo. The girl whose party this was. Jimin felt his face go a little pale.

"Yoongi, don't even say a word."

"A word."

"Now is not the time for this."

"You're right. Jin's rubbing off on me, the little devil."

"Ssshh."

Minseo finally stepped up to them, a bright smile on her young-looking face. Long, wavy black hair fell in front of her shoulders, bangs crowning her dark brown eyes. She was small, even to Jimin, but everything about her was pretty, charming, from the cute dress she wore to her dimpled smile that reminded Jimin a bit too much of Namjoon.

"I'm so glad you're here, Jimin," Minseo said. She gazed at the orange-haired boy with fondness just pouring from her eyes. "I didn't think you would, to be honest with you, but I'm happy I was wrong."

"It was a last minute decision," Jimin said, struggling to make eye-contact. "That's why I'm a bit late."

"Oh, that's alright, getting to a party too early is boring anyway," she said with a quiet laugh. "What matters is that you're here. And-"

Her eyes drifted over to Yoongi who stood idly by, distracted by the next Britney Spears song that came on. Toxic. His favorite.

"Your friend?"

His internal singing snapped. Yoongi lifted his head, then looked at Jimin, who immediately replied to Minseo in his place.

"U-uh, this is Yoo—Kihyun."

"Yoo Kihyun?"

"Yes." He cleared his throat. His heartbeat was already beating uncomfortably fast. "He doesn't go to our school."

"Ah, that makes sense." She gave a nod. "I didn't recognize him. Are you guys close?"

"Really close," Yoongi answered quietly, earning him a firm slap to the arm. Luckily Minseo didn't think much of it, but rather chuckled at the two in lightheartedness.

"I'm a little surprised," she began, "to see you with someone else. I only ever see you with Namjoon and Yoongi and his friends nowadays. I know Namjoon's been your friend for a long time but when you started sitting at Yoongi's table at lunch, everyone was confused. He doesn't..." Minseo paused, then looked over her shoulder as though to see if he were standing there. "...he doesn't seem like the type you'd want to be around. I mean, I thought you hated him. Everyone did."

Jimin stared at the ground. With his heart lying restless in his chest, he had difficulty breathing steadily. His mind raced. Guilt resurfaced, and it spited him.

"I did," he replied almost absentmindedly, after a long while. "Then."

Yoongi turned a worried eye to him.

"But you know, I never really gave him a chance. Turns out...we had things in common."

This was where Yoongi's heart plummeted. And he expected Jimin to snap back into focus, to take back what he said and hurriedly clarify he was only joking, or at least clarify he didn't mean what he actually meant.

Minseo's expression was inscrutable.

So was Jimin's.

"Things in common, huh? That's why you...don't hate him anymore."

Neither Jimin nor Yoongi could hear the music at this point. This conversation, as abruptly as it had reached this point, seized absolutely 100% of their attention. And it caused Yoongi to internally panic, because he wasn't sure if there were something he was supposed to do to bail Jimin out of this situation, or if this were precisely where Jimin wanted to be.

"I didn't know that about you, Jimin," Minseo said in a soft voice, cracking an indescribable smile. "I thought you guys were polar opposites."

"Crazy how life works."

For a while after that, things were quiet. Minseo was soon dragged away from Jimin by her friends, thus leaving the boy alone again with Yoongi, who for what seemed like the longest time, didn't know what to say. He tried to figure out what was going on with Jimin, what had caused this sudden change in attitude, but he just couldn't. It had come out of nowhere.

They had gone to the party to clear suspicions, not create more. And that's what Jimin had just done. Deliberately.

"Jimin?"

"I think she knew anyway."

More silence. Jimin slowly dug his hands into his pockets.

"She's a good actress. But I think honestly, out of anyone, Minseo suspected me most of all."

"But Jimin, you could have-"

"No, Yoongi, I'm tired of it."

A cutting, acrimonious tone. It wavered, in the slightest manner, but the emotion rang out like a bell to Yoongi.

"Jimin, what're you s-"

"Look at you!" The boy turned to him abruptly and gestured at Yoongi's clothes, his expression gone fully sharp. "Just look at you! This isn't what you want at all. You hate it...I know you hate it, you're just doing this for my sake, but for what benefit? So I can take backwards steps?? We'd just be undoing everything you did for me if I continue to lie. It's killing me inside, Yoongi, I can't do this anymore..."

There were tears welling in his eyes. Bitter, bitter tears.

At that moment, Jimin glanced over at somewhere across the backyard, where Minseo happened to be along with a few of her friends. They were looking in his direction.

A sharp pain pricked his chest. Yoongi's, too.

"Jimin, what do you want to do?"

"I just want to go home."

"...then I'll call Riyeon."

Chapter Text

Earlier that Friday

-

"Hey, Seokjin, can I talk to you for a second?"

It was right before PE when Namjoon approached Jin again, tentatively, not with the usual confidence he had been approaching the boy with when asking him out. Of course, that wasn't his goal this time. And though Jin had a feeling it wasn't, the other boy still felt the need to clarify.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to ask you on a date," he said, holding his hands up almost as a guard, and he laughed gently.

"I know," Seokjin replied. He gave a small smile. "Did you need something?"

"Not really." Namjoon bit the inside of his cheek. "I'll leave you alone in a minute, I, uh...just wanted to apologize again."

Jin opened his mouth to argue but was promptly cut off.

"–and before you say anything, I was absolutely in the wrong, so just let me say this." Namjoon sighed, shaking his head in shame. "Really, it's been bothering me, so I just needed to say it. I was extremely stubborn, I shouldn't have kept on coming back, so I'm sorry for making you exasperated with me. I'm not usually like that, I guess I just..." Shrugging, his eyes made a quick, haphazard glance away from Jin. "...I had in my head that I was being optimistic about your response, but really, I was just being ignorant."

Jin was speechless as Namjoon finally brought himself to look him in the eye again.

"So...I'm really sorry, Seokjin. I hope you're not upset with me."

It was bizarre, the tone of voice in which this boy spoke to him. Jin had never heard such a genuine apology, such humility, and he wasn't going to lie, it was kinda touching. But at the same time, he felt guilty for some reason.

"You're...something else."

Namjoon smiled shyly.

"It's okay, really," Jin added. "I'm not upset with you. Honest. Wipe that...depressing look off your face..."

"My smile is depressing?"

Seokjin snorted. "Not what I meant."

Namjoon smiled again, a bit wider, dimples peeking through his cheeks. He was relieved, in one sense. But again, frustrated at the same time because of Jin's kindness. It wasn't going to make getting over him any easier.

"Sorry again," he added, "and thank you, ya know, for letting me get that off my chest. Like I said it's been bothering me for a while, so I just needed to express that." He bowed suddenly, and Seokjin flinched. "Thank y-"

"For goodness' sake, man, lift your head up! I'm not royalty!"

Puzzled, Namjoon did as he was told, tilted his head to one side as he straightened his back. "Uh, s-"

"If you say sorry to me one more time, I'm going to have a cow, Namjoon, I swear." He heaved a sigh that seemed to have come from the depths of his being and almost urged Namjoon to apologize again. "I don't mean that in a rude way, either, but honestly, man...you're making me feel bad."

"Well, that would be counterproductive, so I'll stop," the boy said in a somewhat forced cheery voice. "I'll leave you be, then, if you so desire."

"I so desire for you to talk less formally to me. We're the same age."

Namjoon's expression softened a bit as his dimples reappeared. "I don't think I've earned that right," he said, "but thank you. I'll, uh...see you later?"

This guy... "Yeah, I suppose so. You going to Minseo's party?"

"Who now? Oh-" He gave a nod. "Uh, well I didn't really think about it. But I might end up going 'cus I really have nothing better to do on a Friday night. I know for a fact Jimin won't even consider going but since I'm more of a party-person...yeah, I'll probably go."

"Cool, I might see you there, then."

It almost hurt to have Seokjin smile at him, though it was a subtle hurt. And he told himself, it was much better than having the boy ignore him. So he would take what he could get.

"Yup. See you there."

He hoped it would be beneficial for himself. Getting out of the house, doing something rather than staying cooped up in his room where he would probably just be playing video games or texting Jimin just to annoy him.

A part of him hoped he wouldn't see Seokjin at the party. Just a very minuscule part. Because obviously, seeing him wouldn't help Namjoon get the boy off his mind. At the same time, however, he really did enjoy talking to him...

"Conflicting, inflicting," he sighed—it was a phrase his father would often say. 'The contradictory things in life will only bring mental suffering. Know what you want, what you're looking for. Or the conflicting things will always inflict you.'

Namjoon shook his head as he pulled on his vans, then slipped into a light jacket. He checked the time on his phone—7:22 p.m. He was pretty sure the party technically started at 7:30, but people would just get there when they felt like it. So he left the house after letting his dad know he'd be borrowing the car.

He was at Minseo's house in roughly a half hour. At the door, Namjoon was welcomed by one of the guests, someone he didn't recognize, but who was surprisingly very polite in greeting him. Soon after, however, Namjoon encountered the group at every party who were somehow already drunk, and the ones who sat in corners and on furniture just playing on their phones.

Since Jimin wasn't here, as well as since this party was for Minseo, Namjoon went around asking where the party host might be, because the least he could do was wish her a happy birthday, even if he didn't know her well. Really, the only things he knew about Minseo were that she was beautiful, popular, and more than likely smitten with Jimin.

Honestly, he felt bad for her. After all, Namjoon knew now how it felt to be in love with someone whose sexuality wasn't compatible with your own. Except, of course, Minseo didn't know that.

According to several people, the charming young lady was outside, which also happened to be the source of the loud music he'd been hearing since arrival. Britney Spears. Not bad.

"Hey, Minseo."

He waved to the girl who lifted her head immediately at the sound of her name. And she smiled and waved back. "Namjoon, right?"

"Wow, you actually know who I am," he said jokingly. "I'm honored."

"Don't be," she joked back. "Glad you could make it."

"Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

He waved one last time, then to her friends who were smiling at him. And maybe, if he were in the mood, he would have asked them for their names, or at least said something more. But instead, he silently made his way over to the table atop which was a spread of snacks that looked very inviting at the moment.

"Namjoon, so you made it after all."

From nearby a voice greeted him. His heart dropped just a little. That quickly the boy had forgotten Seokjin would be here.

He turned around, forcing a smile onto his face, just nearly blushing at the sight of Jin standing a few feet away, gorgeous as gorgeous could be without even trying. Nothing fancier than a button-down red shirt, a light jacket overtop, and a pair of black jeans. And yet still he made Namjoon's heart beat a little too fast.

"Yes, I did," he said in somewhat late reply. "As did you. Where's Hoseok?"

"Didn't wanna go." Jin pouted as his eyes rolled over in their sockets in minor annoyance.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Said his sister was visiting or something and he wanted to be home."

"Ah, I see."

"So is it cool if I just hang with you?"

He certainly wasn't expecting to hear those words. And he made that evident in his expression, which almost drove Seokjin to laugh at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"...you're okay with hanging out with me?"

"Why not?"

"Well-"

Namjoon stopped himself. He knew what he meant, but, not knowing how to articulate it, he figured it would be better to drop the subject. Luckily Jin caught on anyway.

"It's not like I want to avoid you because of all that," the boy said in a soft voice. "Don't look so down. I already told you I don't hate you. You don't honestly think I do, do you?"

"...no."

He was hesitant. That fact made Seokjin's chest hurt just a little, a subtle sinking. "C'mon, man..." Sighing, he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and pressed his thumb and index finger against his temples. "I wish you wouldn't think like that. Give yourself more credit, won't you? Sure, you may have been a little annoying before, but you're a very pleasant and easy person to talk to, you know."

Another shocking statement. Namjoon's eyes widened, brows pressing upwards against the middle of his forehead in innocent puzzlement. After a few seconds of staring, he glanced away, shy, as a slightly embarrassed smile slipped onto his face. "That's...very kind of you to say. Thank you, Seokjin."

"You're welcome."

To Jin, it was such an odd sight. Of course, he was starting to get used to it, but it was still so odd to seeing Namjoon behave this way. To see any boy behave this way, for that matter. But Namjoon, he had learned before, was outgoing to a considerable extent, but at the same time knew his limits and still managed to be considerate of other people. Now, at least around Jin, he was much more timid. But kind and polite and friendly all the same.

He had an approachable aura. An amiable personality. And Jin was still puzzled at how someone like Namjoon could ever fall in love with him.

"Thank you for talking with me."

"What?"

Namjoon's dimples showed themselves again, though even they were tentative as he. "For talking with me," he said again. "Really, it's a relief you're not uncomfortable around me. I'd hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable around me. And I mean, you have every right to be. So I guess I'm thankful for you being you." Pursing his lips, he looked away again. "Sorry, did I make it weird...?"

"No," Jin chuckled. "You're just a very...interesting guy, Namjoon. I'm sure Jimin loves having you as his best friend."

Now this made Namjoon laugh, but louder. "Oh, I don't think he'd say that."

"Nonsense. I really do think he appreciates you, Namjoon."

This comment earned Seokjin a genuine smile from the other boy. Small, but it held strong emotion thanks to the thoughtful warmth in his eyes. He paused for a long moment as his gaze fell to the ground. "Yeah," came a quiet whisper. "I know he does. Boy's got a rough life. Until Yoongi came along, I was all he had."

"What about his family?"

"No, they still don't even know," Namjoon said with a pitiful shake of his head. "He's been under so much weight for years now. And as much as I want to help him, there's only so much someone like me can do for him, ya know?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Seokjin slipped his hands into his pockets as he watched Namjoon's expression grow increasingly deeper in thought. "He seems hard on himself."

"Oh, he is. Very. Too much, I'd say." He let out a gentle breath. "That's why I'm real thankful for Yoongi. I can see he's made such a difference already in Jimin's life...and I'm happy about that. Really happy. Every step forward's a step in the right direction. Who knows, maybe I'll get to see Jimin smile again soon."

He wasn't sure why, but that sentence, more so the tone of voice in which it was spoken, made Seokjin's chest feel just a bit heavy. He could see it so plainly. The sincerity in this boy, how much he cared for his friend, and how frustrated he felt just because he couldn't do more than he was already doing.

"You're pretty selfless, aren't you?"

"Me?" Namjoon lifted his eyes and breathed a soft laugh in spite of himself. "Nah. I just care a lot about a lot."

"That's an admirable quality to have."

He knew it was dangerous to look at Jin for too long. Especially since Jin didn't seem to be afraid to maintain eye contact, and that was precisely what made Namjoon's heart waver the most right now.

He smiled, but that heart was crying just a little.

"Thank you, Jin. You're very kind."

"No, I'm honest."

"I'm not saying you're not, I'm just saying you're also kind."

"Well, thank you for saying that. But I'm really not kind at all."

"Not true. You proved your kindness by allowing me to come to your Christmas Eve party and serving me along with your other guests as though I was your friend, despite not knowing me well at the time."

"Common courtesy."

"That's kindness. Not everyone would have done that."

"Well, not everyone would publicly and repeatedly bow to someone of the same age and status as them, but you did that, you big ol' weirdo."

He didn't know why it was so funny to him, but it was, and urged an odd laugh to crawl up Namjoon's throat and meet the air as well as Jin's unsuspecting ears - and a contagious laugh it was apparently. Seokjin chuckled, then laughed a bit harder once Namjoon's moment of joy lasted longer than he thought it would.

"See, these are all the reasons I fell for you, Jin."

Heartfelt and apologetic at the same time.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that-"

"It's okay."

Namjoon looked at him with saddened, diffident eyes.

"You're just being honest with yourself and with me. And I respect that about you."

"Oh." Ouch. "Can I say something else, then?"

"Go ahead."

"I think you look very handsome tonight, Jin."

It hurt them both, in different ways. For Jin, he didn't quite know why it hurt the way it did, other than the fact that Namjoon was special, and he realized he didn't like seeing the boy sad. So he sympathized for him. And perhaps felt just a little guilty still for breaking his heart.

"Hey, did you-.........hold on...is that Jimin?"

At the abrupt mentioning of the name, Namjoon furrowed his brow, gaze following the direction of Seokjin's eyes which led him to a spot near the house where two boys were standing. One, to Namjoon's disbelief, was without a doubt Jimin, with his unmistakable fiery orange hair and dark attire. But the other boy with him. It wasn't anyone Namjoon recognized. Or Jin, for that matter.

But it clicked before too long.

"Oh my gosh, that can't be Yoongi."

It was. And they both knew it was.

"He looks good."

"That's irrelevant, Namjoon, what on earth is he doing dressed like that?"

"That's also irrelevant, I think Jimin's crying."

Neither Jin nor Namjoon moved. Because in just a few seconds, Yoongi and Jimin both started to walk away, quite quickly, as though one or both of them wanted to get out of here as fast as possible.

Something had happened, that was for sure.

And Namjoon, for one, had a bad feeling.

"I'm gonna go after him."

Chapter Text

Luckily Riyeon got back to Minseo's house before too long. And Jimin was relieved, just to get out of there, just to be one step closer to home where he could climb into bed and hopefully sleep his problems away. Yoongi was with him still. He got into the back of the car and sat next to him, though he had been slightly afraid Jimin wouldn't let him, that he'd be pushed away.

It was suffocating. Being in that car with Jimin, who was crying and sniffling but trying so hard not to do so. Yoongi wanted so badly for the boy to relax, to tell Jimin he could just curl up next to him and fall asleep right there and then. But his words got caught in his throat. He stared at Jimin's trembling hand, torn whether or not he should take it.

In the end he did nothing. They arrived at Jimin's house and before Yoongi could blink that boy was slamming the front door shut.

Riyeon looked over at her brother from the driver's seat.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

Yoongi wished he could have answered more confidently.

"I don't know, Riyeon."

She didn't ask any more questions, instead allowing Yoongi one last look at the house before she drove off again.

Meanwhile Jimin had made no hesitation to storm into his room the second he stepped inside. And tragically, at this hour, both his mother and little sister Eunjin were awake and downstairs. So they both saw as their son and brother raced up the stairs with tears falling from his eyes and sobs leaving an audible trail.

"Jimin?"

He didn't answer his mother's call.

"Jiminie, what's wrong?"

Nor Eunjin's. He hoped, with every fiber of his being, that they would take his lack of response as a hint not to follow after him. Alas, seconds later the regrettable sounds of two pairs of footsteps ascending the stairs greeted his ears.

He shut his bedroom door. If only it had a lock.

"Jimin, what's-"

"Don't come in!" He cried. Maybe, he thought, if he sounded aggressive enough, they would listen. "Just leave me alone!!"

"Sweetheart, I just want to know what's wrong," he heard his mother say. Jimin held tightly on to the doorknob, should the woman on the other side attempt to open it. "Jimin-"

"I don't wanna talk about it! Go away!"

"Jiminie, please-"

"You, too, Eunjin!" He harshly interrupted. His voice already hurt crawling through his sore throat. "Go away! I don't want to talk to anyone right now. Leave me alone!"

There was a gentle pull at the doorknob. Jimin held on still. Thankfully they seemed to get the message after that. And once Jimin was convinced they wouldn't try to open it again, he peeled himself away from the door and laid himself flat on his bed, face in his pillow, which he gripped with his fingers until they, like his throat, ached.

But he hardly felt it. His heart hurt more than anything right now.

That all too familiar fear and dread, exponentiated now, partially thanks to Yoongi, constricted his chest and wouldn't relent.

He hated himself for not thinking about it sooner. Yoongi's innocent little idea, the one he had come up with for Jimin's benefit, but in reality was doing more harm than good in its own way.

Jimin couldn't blame him, though. He could only blame himself. For being a coward. For allowing Yoongi to dress up like that, when, again, he knew the boy didn't like it one bit. It only reminded him of the way he was now, this throttling shell he'd trapped himself in years ago, and had never even thought to break free from until Yoongi opened his arms to him.

Yoongi.

Where would he be now without Yoongi? Perhaps still at Minseo's party, maybe with Namjoon, or striking up boring conversations with other classmates and "friends" to pass the time which would otherwise be spent doing nothing.

Namjoon meant so much to him. More than he could express. But his life had been so boring. Especially these last few years since Jimin first realized he was gay.

Those few years. Why did it seem as though more had happened to him in the past few months than in those years?

No, he knew why. It was Yoongi. The answer to everything was Yoongi.

"My everything..."

He sobbed into his pillow, chest throbbing and throat screaming for him to stop crying so it could rest. But he didn't hear it. He only heard his own tears, as well as his mother and Eunjin still standing outside his door, whispering to each other.

"He's never cried like that before. Have you ever seen him cry like that?"

"No, not ever," his sister replied, a sorrowful tone to her soft words. "I've never even seen him cry."

"I'm really worried. He never talks to us about his problems. I really have no idea what's going on in his life."

"I wouldn't know. He doesn't tell me, either. But I wish he would. He always looks so sad inside."

Thoughtful, kinds words. But they only added to the pain. Because Jimin's mind, in the horrifically unstable state it was in, stirred up the memories of Yoongi's stories, of how Jungkook's family reacted to his secret, and Yoongi's mother to his own.

It wasn't that he thought that low of his family. He was only scared. Scared, rather terrified they would look at him in a different way, like the way he had seen some people look at Yoongi.

"Yoongi..."

His muffled voice cracked with the weight of his emotions.

"My everything..."

His phone buzzed. With no intent to respond, he took it out of his pocket just for the sake of taking a glance. Surely enough, it was Yoongi. But there was a message and a missed call from Namjoon, too. 

Juneberry:
what's going on jimin? 
i just saw u run off with yoongi but i couldn't find where u went 
u were crying 
chim chim please answer me

Shamefully he ignored his friend's plea.

Yoongi:
jimin don't forget i'm here for you
i'll always be 
okay? 

Teardrops fell on his phone, which Jimin then hastily wiped away with his sleeve before tossing the device aside.

He felt terrible. Just answering them wouldn't have required much physical effort. But it would take a considerable amount of mental effort, of which he couldn't muster up an ounce at the moment. His heart was in full control. And all it wanted to do was be in pain in peace.

"You're too good for me," he muttered. His eyes started to burn. "Too good...you were always too good for me, you'll always be..."

Yoongi's gummy smiles flashed across Jimin's mind, the kisses he'd been granted by them. Despite how much he truly felt Yoongi deserved someone better, the mere thought of the boy kissing someone else killed him inside. Yoongi's compassion, his arms that welcomed him openly when Jimin was so afraid of opening up to anyone.

Yoongi became his everything. Without him realizing it for the longest time.

Even now, even here, he didn't feel at home.

Yoongi.

Yoongi was his home.

Jimin clutched his pillow even tighter and struggled with all his might to block out the voices he still heard outside his door, but he couldn't. Even worse, he heard the front door shut, and another set of footsteps ascended the stairs.

Great. That's probably Dad.

"Jihyunie, Jimin's crying in his room and he won't tell us what's wrong."

His stomach felt terribly ill. No. Please no. Not him.

"He's crying?" Genuine confusion laced the older boy's tone. "Jimin never cries. Kid doesn't even show emotions."

"We know. But he's in there and he's crying his eyes out and was yelling just a few minutes ago for us to leave him alone."

"Can't you talk to him, Jihyunie?"

No. No, I beg of you. Anyone but you.

"Yeah...yeah, I'll talk to him."

Jimin swore the room had begun to spin, even though he still kept his eyes squeezed shut. In his head he screamed for Jihyun to turn away. He couldn't speak to him right now. Not about this.

The doorknob clicked.

Jimin's heart stopped. "Leave me alone!!"

No immediate response came. Rather, gentle steps approached his bed. And someone sat beside him.

"Jimin."

"Jihyun, I said leave me alone."

He knew Jihyun could hear it. The break in his voice, the emotion, the heartache. Nothing attempting to be hidden save the reason for all this.

For what felt like forever Jihyun said nothing. He didn't move, either. He just sat there, still as still could be, and listened to his little brother cry out all his tears and then some, and endured motionlessly as Jimin continued to yell at him. The same words repeated, but heavier and more desperate each time.

Eventually Jimin tired out. His sobbing turned to nearly inaudible whimpers.

"Jimin."

He gave up trying to be left alone. If Jihyun hadn't left yet, he wouldn't until he felt like it.

"Jimin, I'm worried about you."

The sincerity of that sentence only worsened the ache. Jihyun never spoke like this. He was rough, even in his humor, never the type to show sympathy without some sort of layer on top of it. But there was no trace of that layer here.

"For a while, actually...I've been worried." Jihyun sighed. "You've just seemed so...on guard all the time. Like you're holding your breath around us or something. Even when I joke with you, you never smile, you always avoid joining our conversations for the most part and never voluntarily talk to us about anything, like you're almost...scared to. I've been trying to find ways to get closer with you as a brother but I guess I've proved I kinda suck at that, huh?"

Jimin just wanted it to stop.

He felt a gentle hand rub the back of his head.

"I'm here if you need me, Jimin. You can tell me anything."

Anything.

Jihyun left the room after that.

And Jimin held his pillow to his chest until the hurt became numb and sleep welcomed his weary mind.

It's comfortable even as you say nothing
It became my home because you were there

BTS: home

Chapter Text

Jimin let the weekend slip by without talking much to anyone. And he felt guilty about it, especially with how many messages he was receiving from Yoongi and Namjoon - and Namjoon had, at one point, stopped by Jimin's house but conveniently at that time Jimin was out of the house - but he just needed the time to himself. To think. To feel. To think about how he felt.

To get his act together. To realize some things.

It was a gradual and painful realization he arrived at. But he got there, and he already firmly decided for himself he wasn't going to hide it under a mask any more.

That realization.

Come Monday morning, he walked to school a bit earlier than normal, prepared but not ready to talk to Yoongi.

Prepared but not ready. That perfectly described his situation right now.

It wasn't even 7:30 and Jimin was in his classroom, waiting. Twenty minutes later Yoongi came in.

"H—Jimin, hey."

Tentative in voice and manner, Yoongi approached Jimin's desk and slowly slid into the empty one in front of him. Class didn't start till 8:15. He could afford to talk for some time.

"You got me worried, Jimin."

Hearing Yoongi's voice again. Those thoughtful words, that tender tone. Jimin pursed his lips.

"Are you okay-"

"I'm sorry for ignoring you."

An apology. Yoongi's heart felt a little weak at the sound. "It's...it's okay, Jimin, like I said, I was just...worried." He paused, sweeping his gaze over the other boy's face. "...how are you?"

"Tired."

Yoongi let out a tiny breath of air through his nose as a sort of brief, forced expression of amusement, but more so he only felt concerned. "I can see that. You've got bags under your eyes."

"Mm." Jimin gave a slow nod. "Didn't sleep much."

"Why not?"

"Thinking."

"About?"

You. "A lot of things."

"I see..."

Sighing again, Yoongi tried to hold back his urge to just grab Jimin and hug him right now, but really that's all he wanted to do. And it was all he had wanted to do the past couple days, too. But especially now. On top of the dark circles on Jimin's pale complexion, the boy's eyes looked so, so heavy. Yoongi could so clearly see and feel the emotional stress Jimin was under. He had a feeling he knew exactly what it was about, too.

"Yoongi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you after school?"

"You can talk to me now, Jimin."

"No. Privately." The boy shrunk into himself, hanging his head low. "It's important."

It struck something in Yoongi. A chord of some kind, one that sent an echo down every blood vessel till it reached his heart. He thought he knew. His confidence on the matter was almost 100%. And yet still, anticipation and curiosity tugged furiously at his brain and danced on his nerves.

"After school, where?" He asked. "Just outside?"

"We can go to the Golden Spoon," Jimin said. His eyes remained fixed on his desk in front of him. "That's always been a comfortable place to talk."

"Okay, that's fine."

And so Yoongi had to endure the wait. Anxiety nipped at his mind like cold wind on uncovered skin. He shivered at the thought of bad news. Honestly, he didn't even know where he was getting these negative expectations, when again, he felt he already knew what this was about.

It wasn't often, but Jimin could be unpredictable when he wanted to be.

Yoongi just hoped this would be the good kind of unpredictable, if unpredictable at all.

He found himself watching Jimin's every move with an extra careful eye. Namjoon did so, too. And the two close friends had talked, very briefly earlier, and all Yoongi could gather from the two's conversation was that Jimin assured Namjoon that 'he'd be okay eventually.'

Eventually wasn't okay enough for Yoongi. He wasn't comfortable enough with eventually.

He needed to know that Jimin wasn't mentally abusing himself this whole time.

"Jimin-"

"Quiet walk to the coffee shop, please."

At the end of the day, he got cut off, abruptly, but politely, and in a way that made Yoongi only more curious and worried about his friend. He didn't want to risk making Jimin upset so he listened and kept quiet.

They walked in silence. Side by side. Not a single word uttered, but that didn't stop Yoongi from taking frequent glances at Jimin to make sure the boy's expression didn't change.

Well, he wanted it to change. But he feared if it changed at all it would be because tears started to form in his eyes.

After a twenty minute walk that felt more like an hour, they arrived at the coffee shop and Yoongi made no hesitation to insist he would wait in the small line for their coffees. To his relief, Jimin agreed, and quietly made his way over to an empty table and sat down.

Soon enough, so did Yoongi.

"Wake-up call, extra cream and sugar."

He offered a small smile as he set the drink in front of Jimin.

"You ready to talk now?"

Jimin stared at the coffee for a long moment before offering the slightest nod. "Mm."

An additional two minutes of silence followed. But Yoongi chose to be patient.

"...at the party, what I said to you..."

Those words, in their own way, confirmed Yoongi's hypothesis. He tried to relax his nerves but truthfully he didn't feel any less anxious about this. "You mean about being tired?"

Jimin's empty gaze skimmed his coffee as he took the lid off to let it cool. "In a sense."

"...Jimin, are you feeling alright-"

"I want to come out."

A part of Yoongi expected the boy to start crying. But no, even as Jimin held the other's gaze firmly, Yoongi saw no trace of tears. He could still see that scared little boy behind those beautiful eyes, though. There was no hiding that.

"It's not just that I want to, either," Jimin added, his brow furrowing. "I-...I need to."

"You never need to rush yourself, Jimin."

"I'm not rushing myself." He bit his lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering. "I've had enough time. I've waited too long, and if I wait longer, it'll get worse. I'm tired of pretending. I'm so tired..."

The tears were here now - not in physical form, but they could be heard in the boy's voice. Jimin's voice was crying, and if he could, Yoongi would have cradled it just then.

He would have cradled Jimin...

But since he couldn't, and since he had failed to that drive home from Minseo's house, Yoongi carefully reached out to take Jimin's hand.

And Jimin let him. But he tore his eyes away.

"Yoongi?"

"Yes, Jimin?"

"Can you be there with me? When I tell them...can you...be there?"

His heart ached and was warmed at the same time. "Of course," he replied. "I'll be right beside you. If that makes this any easier for you."

"Thank you, Yoongi."

"You don't need to thank m-"

"Yes, I do."

Yoongi almost flinched. Such an unexpected harsh tone of voice, Jimin spoke this in, one that commanded attention but in a kind way.

"Yes...I do..." Jimin repeated, more weakly this time. "I do need to thank you." His lips quivered again. "Yoongi, I don't think you realize just how much of a difference you've made in my life. I've said it before, I owe you everything at this point."

"Jimin, you don't owe me a-"

"Shut up!!"

His outburst drew the attention of the several other customers in the shop at the time. A few wary glances we're thrown and under-breath muttering ensued, but neither of the boys thought much of it at the time.

"...Jimin-"

"I'm sorry, Yoongi."

He was so unstable - teetering on the edge of something Yoongi feared the boy would fall into if something good didn't happen soon.

He squeezed Jimin's hand.

"It's okay."

"It's not-"

"It will be."

Jimin finally looked at him. And those eyes, those mesmerizing eyes of Yoongi's, somehow, in the midst of this mental storm, kept him grounded.

"I swear it will."

Cross my heart and hope to die.

"If no one else is there for you, know that I will be."

Because I love you.

Chapter Text

The evening approached by the time Jimin finally decided he was ready to go home. He had spent the afternoon mentally preparing himself, and with Yoongi's comforting words he felt now was as good a time as ever.

He knew the confidence would fade soon. And it did, just as he stepped in front of his front door.

His eyes turned towards the ground, shaking, trembling, his whole body, shaking, trembling. Anxiety. It had its fingers securely clasped around him. Yoongi took a firm, yet gentle hold of his shoulders.

"Jimin. Jimin!" The boy didn't look up. "C'mon, Jimin, don't start hyperventilating again, please..."

Again - he said this, because Jimin had almost done so back at the coffee shop. The weight of his fear and doubts, all his stress and emotions binding his heart, it had caused his breathing to become unstable and came close to hyperventilation. And that fact scared Yoongi. Knowing Jimin was under enough stress to bring him to that point broke Yoongi's heart. But he understood it.

He understood it perfectly.

"Jimin, please look at me."

It took some time. Some coaxing.

"You're not alone. I know it's scary, okay?"

"It's too scary," Jimin blurted, voice wavering. "Jihyun most of all."

"Jimin, I need you to hear something."

It silenced him. Jimin stared at the mint-haired boy with wide-eyes. And he stared for a while, until he felt Yoongi pull him close and embrace him. Warm arms, a warmer heart, beating against his chest.

It didn't register at first that that was precisely what Yoongi had been referring to.

And he couldn't directly hear it, but he felt it, and it sent signals to his ears which gladly welcomed the sound.

"Don't get hung up on the hearts that won't beat with yours. That's what my father told me the day I came out."

Jimin's chest warmed as Yoongi slipped his fingers through his hair, caressing it softly.

"If your family doesn't accept you, if Jihyun - and I don't care how much you say he means to you, Jimin, I'm sorry - if he doesn't accept you, he's not worth your time."

It hurt to hear those words, but deep down, Jimin accepted them. With reluctance, but nonetheless he knew he would never truly be able to move on if he didn't value his own feelings more than he did now.

He respected Jihyun. He always had. As a brother, as a friend, as someone he could look up to and rely on, despite how somewhat distant they had been recently. He loved Jihyun. That was precisely why the thought of being rejected by him had been such a long-lasting fear - like a leech draining Jimin of all his energy, and if he didn't act now, he would have no more energy left to give.

Yoongi empathized. Even as he embraced Jimin, he could sense the whirlwind of emotions tormenting the boy. He vividly recalled facing that same whirlwind himself. But back then, he didn't have anyone - no one who knew, that is. He had Hoseok, who to some degree he had believed would fully accept him, but doubt still clung to him, even heavier so when he first decided to approach his mother.

No one was there to stand by him on that day. If Hoseok had known, undoubtedly he would have. But that didn't change the fact that Yoongi had faced that mountain on his own.

So right now, his goal was to convince Jimin, to paint it clear in colors so bright you could see them from space, that he wasn't alone.

Because he knew that there was nothing more painful in this world than to feel alone.

He pulled away - sadly - from the hug, soon to place his hands on Jimin's shoulders. And he smiled. Even though it hurt a little, he smiled so that his gums showed, and he hoped with every inch of his being that it acted as a sign of comfort. Something reassuring.

He watched as Jimin turned his head in the direction of the front door.

"Are you ready to go in there yet?"

He turned back abruptly, facial features visibly twitching in fear. "I-I don't know, I-"

Yoongi stepped forward to place a gentle kiss on Jimin's cheek.

And immediately the boy shut his mouth.

"It'll all be okay."

He believed him. In his heart, Jimin fully trusted Yoongi's encouragement, and not just because he wanted to, but because he knew Yoongi wouldn't lie to him. Especially about this.

Gradually, Jimin reached out to touch the doorknob, which he then rotated until he heard a click that made him jump. Finally he pushed open the door. Slow as slow could be. He stepped inside the house.

Yoongi stepped inside, too.

"Jimin, you're home!"

His mother's voice greeted him right away, and fortunately he managed to resist jumping a second time at the sound of her voice. The kitchen was the first room you arrived at upon entering the house, located at the end of the tiny hallway the door opened to, which is where both Jimin and Yoongi left their shoes.

"You said you might be late, I wasn't sure if you'd be back for dinner so I set aside some...oh, is this your friend?"

Slow steps. All of Jimin's movements were slow. His eye travel, lifting up from the ground to scan the room, specifically the kitchen table where sat his mother, his father, and Eunjin. No Jihyun.

"Jimin, c'mon, now, at least introduce us," his father said in a lighthearted tone. All three of the boy's family members present were watching him closely now. And they could all see the look on his face. The heavy-set uncertainty whether or not to speak, or to run. But they, themselves, said no more.

They only watched and waited.

They waited, knowing something was wrong, but not knowing to what extent the inner battle inside this boy was raging, the merciless waves crashing against the shore which had already taken too much damage, the rocks which had long since been reduced to mere sand.

His throat strained. Jimin felt his hands shaking, and he begged for them to stop, he begged for the world to stop moving.

But he knew it wouldn't. The world didn't stop for anyone. So he'd just have to find a way to move against it.

With great struggle Jimin lifted his arm, then put it down again so that his hand could take Yoongi's.

He intertwined their fingers.

Opening his mouth, he tried to speak, and at first no words came out. But finally his voice broke free of the cage.

"I...wanted to introduce you guys to...my boyfriend."

There was only silence that followed his statement. Silence, excruciating silence that wrapped around Jimin as he kept his head turned towards the ground.

Ages seemed to past. He didn't know how much longer he could hold his breath.

"...Jimin, sweetheart, why are you crying?"

And he let the breath go. So fast, raising his head again at his mother's delicate question, and misty eyes meeting with each of his family members at that table who all gazed at him with such genuine concern.

It broke him. It shattered that wall of his, and the tears were released from the dam, filling up his eyelids and spilling over like they had been held in there for years - and in a sense, they had. These tears. They streamed down his face, which collapsed in on itself from the weight of it all, sobs escaping through his mouth, uncontrolled, unrestrained.

The boy's parents and sister all stood up from their seats one by one and went to him.

Yoongi let go of Jimin's hand to make room for them.

Those three, who all embraced Jimin so tightly, thus drawing out more of those bitter, compressed cries which desperately needed to meet the air. Yoongi wanted to hug him, too. But he thought, he had his time, and he could have more time later. Now was Jimin's time. Jimin, and his family who evidently loved him more than he thought they did.

He wished his mother could have hugged him like that. But at the same time, he was okay with how things were. He listened to his father's advice. He loved his mom, but he didn't allow himself to wait around for her.

Somewhere amidst the family group hug, the front door opened again, and the parents of the two children pulled back enough to watch as their eldest child walked through the door. He didn't even slip off his shoes before allowing his eyes to fully drink up the sight he had just walked in on.

"What's...going on?"

It was Jimin who reacted now. At the sound of his brother's voice, he shifted his head and his family got the message to move away - Eunjin, however, was the most reluctant, but thanks to a stern glance from Jimin, she finally stepped back.

The tears on the boy's face were still visible. His eyes weren't quite done crying, either.

They locked with Jihyun's. Determined, but afraid all the same.

"Jihyun, I'm gay." His words, though filled with confidence, shook like the leaves of a tree on the verge of shedding. Yet he clung to that branch he was on. "I'm gay, and if it makes you lose any respect you had for me then so be it, I'm not apologizing. I won't lie to you anymore. So go ahead and punch me if that's what you want to do, just get it over with."

Distorted. That confidence was distorted. And it, just like his walls, shattered. His firm expression broke again.

"Just get it over with, please."

That desperation. The genuine desperation that led this boy to believing he would receive such a thing from the start, rather, believing it was what he deserved.

Expecting that his big brother would hit him...

Heartache. It bled from Jimin's voice.

And it struck Jihyun like a bullet.

Being there, seeing his little brother standing in front of him at his lowest state, crying his heart out till it probably physically hurt him, and knowing inside that he wasn't blameless for it.

He wasn't blameless at all.

Jihyun took a step forward and felt his chest compress as Jimin braced himself.

For a punch. He wasn't expecting to feel Jihyun carefully drape his arms around him.

And it took a few seconds but the boy finally relaxed into the embrace.

The tears returned full force.

"Jimin, I'm so sorry..."

It wasn't an act. Jimin could hear it, too, the subtlest tremor in Jihyun's voice, the sincerity in that brief apology.

"I'm so freaking sorry..."

The time it took for Jimin to stop crying and his family to stop hugging him seemed like a forever and a half, but Yoongi didn't mind. He couldn't have asked for a better reaction. Even if he'd had faith in Jimin's parents and sister, he wouldn't deny he had some doubts about Jihyun. But now that he had witnessed it all in person, he never felt so happy to be wrong.

He sat on the living room couch now, waiting for Jimin to finish talking with his family. He wanted to be patient. But it was getting more difficult by the second.

To his relief, Yoongi was soon met with the sight of Jimin finally walking into the living room again. The boy rubbed his eyes and cheeks as he walked up to the mint-haired boy.

"Sorry, Yoongi," he said softly, sniffling. "I didn't mean to take so long. Hope you weren't too bored just sitting here."

"It's alright."

He showed off a reassuring smile. Jimin nodded in vague response.

"...Yoongi, I know I've been taking a lot of your time, but..." His brows twitched with a guilt Yoongi wished could have been erased by now. "...I wanted to thank you a-"

"Can we talk in private? I think your little sister is listening in on our conversation."

Jimin craned his neck to look behind him, and surely enough, he found Eunjin standing by the doorway, poking her head in but it disappeared the moment she realized she had been discovered. Jimin sighed.

"We can...go to my room, if that's alright."

"Anything's fine, Jimin. I just want to talk to you."

He nodded again. And so did Yoongi, with a smile, as Jimin rose from his seat and the other followed him up the stairs and into his room.

He closed the door.

In a matter of seconds, the two were both seated on Jimin's bed. And Yoongi didn't wait this time, no, frankly he was tired of waiting, so he cupped Jimin's cheeks in his hands and gazed deeply into his eyes until he could be certain he had the boy's full attention.

"Jimin."

Both of their hearts were caught in their throats.

"I'm proud of you."

It held the power to make him cry again. It took everything, everything not to. "I couldn't have done it without you, Yoongi."

"Maybe so," he said with a shrug, "but you didn't need my help to make me fall in love with you. You did that all on your own."

Jimin's eyes grew wide. Yoongi's smile grew wider.

"I love you, Jimin."

He rubbed one of his thumbs against the boy's cheek.

"I really hope you knew that," Yoongi added. "I know I made up some excuses before, but I...I'd never kiss anyone the way...I kissed you."

Pastel shades of color dusted the boy's cheeks as he made a shy glance away from Jimin's face.

"And I would never want to kiss anyone else."

"I don't want to kiss anyone else, either."

Oh. He's crying again.

"Jimin..." Yoongi kissed his cheek. "C'mon, don't-"

"I love you more."

"N-no, let's not make it a competition now."

"I'm not."

"Okay, well, then, let's just-"

"Kiss me, Yoongi."

He swore his heart stopped. But in the most delicate way possible.

"If that's okay," Yoongi said, unable to mask his happiness at the request - not that he had a reason to now. "I'll gladly kiss you."

So he did. Hands still holding Jimin's face like he was the most precious thing to him, Yoongi leaned in to press a soft kiss to the boy's lips.

Sweet, like the familiar taste Yoongi remembered from the last time they kissed, mixed with the salty taste Jimin's tears had left behind. He slid one hand along the side of the boy's head to rest on the nape of his neck, while the other Yoongi moved to allow his fingers to tangle with Jimin's soft orange hair.

His body felt lighter than air, heart dancing on clouds. He felt Jimin start to move his lips against his own. Yoongi stopped him.

"Let me," he whispered, though his face was already flushed. "Don't...kiss back. Just...lie back and let me, okay?"

"But-"

"Please?"

He was embarrassed. Yoongi, even with his attempted boldness, was so clearly shy about this, and yet still Jimin could tell he wanted to do what he said, and in no way was he against it. Granted, he felt embarrassed, too, but he would take that over his confession having been turned down any day.

So he allowed his arms to go limp, for Yoongi to gently push him until he was lying on the bed, where he was then gifted with soft kisses on his cheeks, up and down his cheekbones, on his nose, his forehead, his eyelids, Yoongi's lips, Yoongi's pretty pink lips, all over his face.

Yoongi's lips, all over his lips...every collision stole his breath, but it didn't bother him one bit.

Every collision. Jimin hummed quietly, which only increased Yoongi's embarrassment, but the boy was determined to continue, so he did. He kissed Jimin deeper, but there came a point when he could no longer feel his face thanks to the blush setting it aflame, and he had to pull away.

He lay down beside Jimin, facing the ceiling. And there, the two lay in a peaceful quiet for a few minutes, in the midst of which Jimin reached for Yoongi's hand again.

"...I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you."

"Don't be."

"Well, I am."

"Well, don't be." Yoongi stifled a laugh. He rubbed his cheek with his free hand hoping to chase away that lingering redness. "If you hadn't caused me trouble, we might not have ended up here, and I don't like that thought at all."

"Are you sure?" Jimin asked softly.

"Of course I'm sure. Don't..." He sighed. "Don't doubt yourself, Jimin, or I'll have to kiss you again."

"...you say that as though that's something I'd want to avoid."

It drew a fond smile from Yoongi, as he turned his head so that he could look at Jimin, who soon did the same. And both of them found nothing but pure love in the other's eyes.

He felt deserving for the first time since he had started to know Yoongi. Deserving, all because of the way the boy looked at him now. As his gaze held him so delicately and draped over him a blanket of compassion, Yoongi's lips showed that same emotion, like he would not, could not ever be more in love.

Like he couldn't have felt more comfortable than right here. With Jimin.

And Jimin, with Yoongi.

"My home..."

The mint-haired boy furrowed his brow at first, just slightly confused by the soft-spoken comment, but he realized before long what Jimin meant.

"I'll be your home for as long as you want me to."

"Forever?"

He felt a pleasant warmth spread throughout his body, starting from his chest and reaching out to his toes and the crown of his head. Jimin's voice, that innocent, hopeful tone that Yoongi swore he could see in the boy's face.

"Of course, Jimin." He propped himself up a bit, then shifted over so that his head hovered over Jimin's. "I love you. So...if it's okay with you, you'll never have to leave home again."

He smiled - Jimin did, more than just a slight upward tilt of his mouth, but something much fuller, to where Yoongi could actually see the boy's teeth. And what a breathtaking smile it was. Enough to make Yoongi fall in love all over again.

He returned the smile, on the verge of tears but he somehow held them back as he pressed another kiss to Jimin's lips.

"Welcome home, Jimin."

For everything you've ever done for me
I won't lie and fear no more
I hope you realize:
You kept me alive

Illenium: Only One

Chapter Text

They didn't want to part ways with each other. Not even for the night. Holding each other so tenderly, rocking back ever so slightly as each ran their fingers through the other's hair.

But sadly, Yoongi recalled somewhere in the middle of hugging Jimin that he had told his father he'd be back before too late, as he promised he'd help with some work that needed to be done around the house.

"Do you really have to go, Yoongi?"

The most heartbreaking thing, that innocent voice, those words of disappointment and the way Jimin looked at him just then. Yoongi gave a sad smile.

"Just for now," he said. He brushed aside some of the hair hanging over Jimin's forehead. "I would say you could come over but you'd just be waiting around for a couple hours till I finished helping my dad."

"I don't mind."

Yoongi's eyes widened a bit. "Uh-"

"I wanted to ask you something anyway."

"What is it?"

"For tomorrow..."

He paused. His gaze fell, drifting thoughtfully before lifting itself to meet Yoongi's again.

"For tomorrow, could I borrow something to wear?"

"Jimin, we have school tomorrow."

"I know."

A smile slipped onto Yoongi's face, subtle and coated with something akin to a mixture of pride and fondness. He nodded. "You can borrow anything you want, baby."

A kindling word. Jimin's face grew a few shades darker, and he turned away, shyly, just for a moment as a smile of his own took form.

Yoongi stifled a laugh. "Sorry, too much-?"

"No," Jimin countered, "I like it."

Oh, no, he's so freaking adorable... "Well, I'm glad." Running his fingers through Jimin's hair once again, Yoongi leaned forward to plant a kiss on the boy's forehead. "Whatever makes you happy, baby," he said softly, and Jimin's smile grew three times as broad at the nickname. "So you're okay with waiting around at my house?"

"If it means I can stay with you now."

Waking up in Yoongi's arms.

It wasn't something new, but in some way, it felt different. Jimin had his head buried into Yoongi's chest, one leg wrapped around him while the other was caught between Yoongi's legs. He didn't feel so embarrassed this time. Things just felt...comfortable. He felt comfortable. At home.

Sadly, it was a school morning, so as much as Jimin wanted to he couldn't sleep in. Nonetheless, he didn't dread the day ahead. For a number of reasons. There was still some apprehension present, but nothing Jimin wasn't willing to face.

He had Yoongi, anyway.

"You awake, baby?"

The soft, low purr in his ear. Jimin pulled his head away from Yoongi's chest to look at him. "Mhm," he hummed. Yoongi smiled a sleepy smile. It felt almost as a dream. To both of them. Seeing each other like this and knowing they were free to express how they truly felt, rather than having to come up with excuses as to why they wanted to just stare into each other's eyes or run their fingers through the other's hair. And that's exactly what Yoongi did. As the smile on both his lips and in his eyes broadened, he slipped his fingers through the orange locks of Jimin's hair and sighed.

"You're so freaking gorgeous, have I ever told you that?"

"You've called me cute," Jimin said quietly, "but not gorgeous."

"You're stunning."

"Stop..."

"No. Get used to it."

He gave Jimin's cheek a quick peck before the boy could open his mouth again to argue, then reluctantly peeled himself away from Jimin so that he could climb out of bed. An instant sensation of cold struck him. With how warm he'd felt next to Jimin, Yoongi nearly forgot it was still winter. But he couldn't afford another 'five minutes.' He'd want to stay forever.

"If we get ready quickly we should have time to stop by The Golden Spoon." The mint-haired boy faced Jimin so as to silently request approval. Jimin nodded.

"That's fine," he said.

"You still okay with borrowing something to wear?"

"Mhm." Jimin hesitated as his gaze gradually drifted over to Yoongi's bureau, the drawers of which were open just a tad and allowing some of the boy's clothes to poke out.

"Did you have something in mind, or-?"

"I did."

He didn't say another word - rather, Jimin stepped onto the floor, stood up, and made his way over to Yoongi's bureau, then slowly opened it to fully reveal the top layer of the clothes inside.

Inside this particular drawer were Yoongi's many sweaters.

Jimin took out the brightest of them.

"Can I wear this?"

An innocent sparkle in his eyes, Jimin stared into Yoongi's own with hope. And Yoongi wasn't entirely sure if Jimin knew what effect his request would have on him, but that didn't change how it struck Yoongi. Pulled at his heart strings. To see Jimin holding up that rainbow sweater of his, the one he wore as a way of coming out to his friend, to his school.

It struck even harder when Jimin put on the sweater. It might not have been the first time seeing the boy wear it; however, Yoongi felt a stronger emotional impact this time.

"You look adorable."

Jimin smiled shyly. "Are you sure you don't mind if I wear this?"

"Nothing would make me happier," the other say in earnest. A quiet laugh escaped his mouth as he turned his head to the ground for a moment. "Nothing...if you'll really walk into school with that..."

"...Yoongi?"

"I'm not crying, Jimin, don't even ask."

Jimin went to hug him, anyway. Not able to see tears starting to form, but feeling in his heart that they were there...

"It's my thank-you to you."

"I told you you didn't need to thank me..."

"I do, Yoongi."

"Sorry, I didn't know this was our wedding ceremony."

"W-what?"

"It was a joke, Jimin, you're supposed to laugh, just laugh, please..."

More than the joke itself, this comment drew a reaction from Jimin, a small smile which rapidly grew and evolved into a giggle that simply lifted Yoongi's heart back onto cloud nine.

What a beautiful sound it was.

They left The Golden Spoon at a comfortable fifty-five minutes before class started. That would give them plenty of time to walk the rest of the way back to school and with some time to spare. They hadn't been holding hands for the majority of the walk - it hadn't really crossed Yoongi's mind, whereas Jimin purposely waited until they were nearing the school gates to do something.

His confidence, evidently, wavered at the action. But not his determination. Without saying anything aloud, Jimin took Yoongi's hand in his own, then looked him directly in the eye. And once again, that wave of emotion swept over them both.

This was one major step to say the very least.

Jimin remembered a time when walking into school next to Yoongi was a big deal. And now here he was, about to walk in holding his hand, and wearing such a loud sweater.

No secrets anymore. Jimin wanted to make sure of that.

He passed through those gates with his head facing forward instead of down. And he squeezed Yoongi's hand tightly.

All eyes turned to him. Every pair of eyes Jimin passed by turned to drink in the sight of the pastel boy's former bully holding his hand and having on colors brighter than anything anyone ever believed Jimin would be caught dead wearing. And they could all see. They could all hear the message loud and clear without a single word uttered from Jimin's mouth.

And yet still did Jimin stop Yoongi in the hallway to kiss his lips. Briefly, but sweetly, and with love. He didn't care about the people who saw. Let them see. Let them see, his mind chanted.

"Jimin, I-"

His back against the locker, Yoongi could feel his cheeks turning beet red, heartbeat accelerating.

"That was hot, holy crap..."

"I-it wasn't supposed to be, don't say that-"

"Too late." He chuckled and Jimin couldn't help but do the same. Deep down, he felt anxious about this whole situation, but perhaps more shocked that he felt okay about it, too. Okay enough, because of Yoongi. Calm enough, because of Yoongi.

"Before we go to our classroom, I wanted to...find Namjoon first," Jimin said in a soft voice. Yoongi made a noise of understanding.

"Yeah," he said, "I wanted to find Hobi, too-"

Not a second after uttering these words, that familiar head full of barn-read hair caught the attention of Yoongi's peripheral vision, and soon his full vision, and Jimin's, too.

The boy already had a smile on his face - crooked, and influenced by approaching tears, but a smile nonetheless.

"I mean, I saw it coming, but still." A forced laugh. Hoseok took a few steps forward. Just a few, small steps, but soon Yoongi began approaching him, too, and captured his friend in a tight embrace. Nostalgia caught between their arms. "You must really love him to let him wear that, huh?"

"Yeah." Yoongi let out a deep breath and patted Hoseok's back.

"It looks good on him." He lifted his head a bit to make eye contact with Jimin. "You look better in color, Jimin."

"Thank you, Hoseok." Jimin's gaze dropped to the sweater, then moved up again as a smile graced his lips. "I feel a lot better, too."

"I saw you guys kiss, don't think you're sly."

"I wasn't trying to be..."

"I know." Hoseok chuckled at himself as he pulled back from his hug with Yoongi. "I'm just messin' with ya. Gosh, a part of me's still in shock, though. This is a lot to take in, I-"

A spiteful snicker from a passerby halted his train of thought.

"Pfft, pastel boy finally reeled him in, I see-"

"Move along, jealously train," Hoseok snapped without hesitation. Yoongi snorted.

"You're so funny when you get pissed."

"Well, if more people like him decide to share their irrelevant comments I might as well start a stand-up comedy show. I could make some good money."

"I mean, that's not a terrible idea, I guess."

"Right. Thank you. I know."

It was then Jimin felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and as Yoongi and Hoseok were still talking, he saw it a good time to check whatever notification it was he'd just received.

You have (2) new messages from Juneberry

Juneberry:
do you guys wanna be left alone, or-?
i can come back later

He couldn't help but smile.

me:
get over here u idiot

And so from behind the corner he had just hid Namjoon revealed himself, walking towards Jimin with an increasing look of fondness in his expression - fondness, pride, joy. He threw his arms around Jimin and held him so tightly the boy couldn't move away as quickly as he'd wanted to - as a result, the tears flowed. And Namjoon just held him.

"There, there." He petted the boy's hair gently. "I'm proud of you, Chim Chim. So proud..."

"Looks like we're having an emo party here," Hoseok joked, offering a lighthearted chuckle at the sight of the embracing friends. "Should I just invite Jin and Kook, too? We could have a big ol' group hug."

A scoff could be heard from someone who walked by them.

Without even looking Hoseok just lifted his middle finger. "Really, I'll call them."

"Sure, why not." Yoongi shrugged. "I gotta let them know eventually."

Jin was the only one who needed to be called. Apparently Jungkook, like Namjoon, had also been in the vicinity, and when he heard his name the boy began to make tentative steps towards the friend group which turned into quicker steps until he stopped abruptly and opened his arms wide to hug Yoongi.

"Why's everyone hugging me?" He stifled a laugh as he patted the back of Jungkook's head. "C'mon now...this is Jimin's big accomplishment, not mine. Well, I mean I do have a boyfriend now but still, he should get the hugs."

"UM,-"

"Oh, boy, here comes Jin-..."

He couldn't deny it felt just a bit unnerving walking into class that morning. By now, of course, plenty of people had seen him, but he hadn't had to speak to any of them, and here, he had to be much closer to them and undoubtedly at least someone would say something.

And someone did. That boy who always sat behind Jimin. Seconds after Jimin sat down, he spoke.

"I guess it makes sense, then."

Jimin hesitated at first, but slowly turned around to face Sojung.

"So you guys...are a thing now, right?"

"We are," Jimin answered. He was met with Sojung's silence for about ten seconds, and Jimin prepared to turn around again, stopping only when he heard the boy speak softly again.

"Aren't you afraid you'll get bullied?"

"Not anymore," the orange-haired boy said. "I have enough people on my side that it doesn't matter anymore. So if you wanna trip me on my way to my desk, by all means. But don't lay a finger on Yoongi or we'll have a serious problem."

"I...I wasn't going to," Sojung muttered. "I was actually gonna say 'good for you' non-sarcastically but if you're gonna threaten me I'll take it back."

Oddly enough, Jimin found it in himself to smile at this, which alarmed Sojung even more than Jimin walking into class wearing that sweater.

"I didn't know you were capable of smiling. Wow."

"Don't fall for me. I'm taken."

"Haha, you're hysterical..."

Chapter Text

They went back to The Golden Spoon after school. Firstly, for coffee, secondly, because it just provided a relaxing place to hang out, and thirdly, because a certain barista was typically here on Tuesdays and Yoongi, for one, wanted to share his good news.

He and Jimin entered the shop, fingers interlocked, Jimin still having on that warm, comfortable, and vibrant sweater. The sleeves were a little long, allowing the boy to grip the soft material of one sleeve under his palm, while the other sleeve brushed Yoongi's hand.

Hand in hand. It felt calming.

So calming, in fact, that Jimin became acutely caught off guard at the sound of Taehyung's outburst when he caught sight of the couple walking through the door.

"HEY, WAIT, WHEN??"

The barista was promptly scolded by his manager who stood just several feet away. Taehyung offered a half-hearted apology, then turned immediately towards the counter to greet the two customers now approaching. He couldn't mask it. The smile now tugging at the corners of his mouth. He was over the moon, it appeared. What an odd kid, Jimin thought to himself.

"I'm-...welcome to McDonald's-"

"Golden Spoon, Tae," one of his co-workers said with a sigh. "Third time today, I swear..."

Yoongi snickered at the comment. "Third time?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You okay?"

"Am I okay??"

"...that was the question."

"Oh." He calmed for a moment. "Well, to be honest with you, I've been nervous 'cus I asked Jungkook on a date today 'cus I wanted to ask him something, and he's supposed to meet me here after my shift and so yeah, that's been on my mind, but also you two-"

Taehyung stopped - for but a moment - and inhaled deeply.

"Whatever you guys want is on me," he said, practically beaming. "I'm so happy, you guys look so freaking cute together."

"Thank you, Tae," Yoongi nodded in sincere gratitude, returning the smile. "You don't need to do that, though. I'll pay."

"No, but really, I want to-"

He was cut off as the door to the shop opened again, and another familiar face appeared, one that stirred up that anxious heart of his.

"Jungkook, hi!"

His voice cracked. Yoongi felt bad for laughing but thankfully he managed to hide it from Taehyung with a subtle shift of his position towards the door. "Kookie!" He greeted.

"You guys are here?" Jungkook said softly.

"We're usually here. This is our hangout spot."

"Mm." Knowing his friend had a point, the boy poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue and scratched the back of his head as his slow steps carried him up to join the two at the counter. He hadn't acknowledged Taehyung yet - not that he didn't notice the barista standing there, or because he didn't want to, but simply because he was embarrassed to do so in front of Yoongi.

Jungkook had been fairly 'on the down-low' about him and Taehyung. He'd confessed to going on a couple dates, but Jungkook had somehow gotten out of being very descriptive with much else. And Yoongi didn't push him about it. He knew how Jungkook was. Shy, to the highest degree of the word. The boy had never had a boyfriend before, never anyone who showed much interest in him, turned off by his quiet and reclusive nature. Taehyung was his polar opposite. Their personalities meshed well. Yoongi just didn't realize how well.

"Jungkook, I-...uh, didn't think you were stopping by till later-"

"...is now a bad time?"

"I wouldn't say that." Tae chuckled. "I mean, I'm always happy to see you, just...I'm working now."

These sincere, sweet words dusted warmth on Jungkook's cheeks. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I'll come back later-"

"No, don't leave," Yoongi interrupted, smiling. "Sit down with Jimin and me."

Jungkook pouted. "I don't wanna be a third-wheel..."

"We won't make you feel like a third-wheel, will we, baby?"

"Off to a bad start, Yoongi."

"...yeah, maybe." He shook his head. "Uh, Tae, could we get two wake-up calls and one...Kookie, what do you want?"

"...americano, I guess."

"Yeah, that."

"Coming right up!" The barista chimed happily. "Extra sugar, no cream, right, Jungkook?"

The boy gave a barely perceptible nod. Then, shrinking into himself, he joined Yoongi and Jimin as they claimed a nearby empty table.

The mint-haired boy placed his elbows all too eagerly on that table. "So."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Just don't."

Jimin bit the inside of his cheek. "Are you guys dating?"

"I said don't."

"You said that to Yoongi, not me."

"Are you dating?"

"We're not, Yoongi, we just went on a couple dates."

"So you're dating."

"No..." Jungkook threw a nervous glance to the side.

"...Kookie, for goodness sake-"

"Have you kissed?"

Jungkook's eyes widened, cheeks reddening at Jimin's innocent question which he promptly responded to by glaring as sternly as he could - which didn't last long, because he only seemed to grow more embarrassed.

"Well?" Yoongi added as a gleeful smirk slipped onto his face. "Have you?"

"...no, Yoongi." Jungkook rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "...we haven't kissed."

"You should."

"But we're not dating..."

"Jungkookie! Your drink is ready! Yoongi and Jimin, yours, too!"

"...Jungkookie?"

"...he's...never called me that before..."

"It's a cute nickname."

"I thought so, too, baby."

"Can you two not?"

Flustered, Jungkook pushed back his chair and marched over to retrieve his drink from the counter. There, Taehyung stood by for a moment longer just to show off a special smile to the boy. Even from their seats Yoongi and Jimin could see the way he stared at Jungkook with such adoration. He was so in love.

"I'll bet he's gonna ask Jungkook to be his boyfriend."

"I kinda suspected that, too."

"Should we go get our drinks or let them have their moment?"

"...I would say option two but I kinda want my wake-up call."

"Say no more, baby, I'll be right back."

Just for a reaction, Yoongi pressed a quick kiss to Jimin's cheek, heart melting at the shy smile that immediately appeared on the other's face. He honesty didn't know how he would survive ever leaving this boy alone again.

Biting back a grin of his own, Yoongi approached the counter just to pick up his and Jimin's drinks. Jungkook didn't notice. He was too busy unintentionally distracting Taehyung from his work, so Yoongi took advantage of his friend's obliviousness and simply grabbed the drinks then backed up to his table again.

Sadly though it was then that Taehyung's boss conveniently showed himself and moderately scolded the boy.

"I can talk to you on my break," Tae blurted, "if you're still here in, like, forty minutes. If not that's okay, I'll call you."

"...I guess I can wait here."

"You can? Okay, great! I'll, uh...I'll talk to you then?"

"Mm...talk to you later."

"Enjoy your americano!"

"I will...thank you." He took a careful sip, then turned his back to Taehyung and slowly made his way back over to his table. By the time he reached the table Jungkook had reacquired his jaded expression, as he could already sense Yoongi's raised eyebrows and smirk without even looking at him. "Don't."

"Kookie, c'mon." The mint-haired boy let out a sigh of exasperation. "I just want you to talk to me about things, ya know? You've been so quiet! And it's so obvious he's into you. Don't you feel the same?"

Jungkook pouted as he sunk back into his seat. Truthfully, he did want to gush to Yoongi about everything. But he was embarrassed. Embarrassed, about how Taehyung made him feel. Embarrassed to admit he had so many romantic thoughts about the boy but was far too lacking in confidence to execute them.

He took another sip of his drink.

"I do...really like him."

Yoongi tried to hide his smile behind his hands and he subtly leaned forward. Jimin also raised a listening ear.

"We've held hands...he has nice hands. I like...holding his hand..."

The two other boys remained silent in case Jungkook had anything more to add. Which he did.

"He has a lot of the same interests..." He dropped his gaze to his hands. "Like...anime and video games and Spirited Away. He's really cute when he talks about that movie. I...love his smile..."

"Love. You said love."

Again, Jungkook pouted in an indignant manner, making eye contact with Yoongi for only a few seconds before looking away. "He's got a pretty smile, that's all..."

"Does it make your heart go phswaaa..."

"Thank you for you contribution, baby."

"I'm trying to be involved in the conversation."

"You're doing great."

"Thanks, Yoongi."

"Please don't start flirting or my americano will change flavors."

"The coffee can do that?"

"It might. I dunno."

"You're trying to change the subject, aren't you, Jeon Jungkook?"

"How's your coffee, Yoongi?"

"It's actually really good, tastes super fresh--hey."

"Jimin, how's your coffee?"

"Ah, it's the same as Yoongi's."

"But is it fresh?"

"I'd say."

"Jimin, he's trying to change the subject."

"But he was just asking if we were enjoying our coffee. I thought it was nice of him."

"You've been fooled."

"I have?"

"Is the coffee sweet?"

"Yeah, it is. Do you like sweet coffee, Jungkook?"

"Jimin-"

"Kinda. Not too sweet, though. I like a balance."

"Of what? Attractive and a fun personality? Like Taehyung? What a wonderful topic change, Jungkook, tell us more about your dates."

"Oh, that was clever, Yoongi."

"Aw, thanks, baby."

"Egh. Coffee changed flavors."

"Kookie, stop."

As he had agreed, Jungkook waited at the coffee shop for a little under an hour, and by that point Yoongi and Jimin had left. So it was just him alone at that table, trying not to stare at Taehyung working diligently behind the counter, smiling that consistent bright and adorable, boxy smile of his.

Jungkook wouldn't lie to himself. Deep down he believed he had already fallen for that smile.

"Minhyuk, tell the manager I'm going on my break, okay?"

"Sure."

"Okay, thanks, buh-bye."

Like he was already late for a meeting the barista hurried out from behind the counter with a coffee in hand and a somewhat panicked expression plastered on his face. It faded partially, however, once he had arrived at Jungkook's table and was preparing to sit down.

"Sorry, I'm sorry you had to wait so long," he breathed heavily.

"It's fine, I was just watching youtube," Jungkook assured him. He set down his phone on the table. Taehyung gazed at him fondly.

"Enjoy your coffee?"

"I did."

"That's good. Am I keeping you from anything?"

"No."

"Okay, well, I've got fourteen minutes to mentally prepare myself to ask you a question then one minute to ask said question and wait for-"

"Were you gonna ask me on another date?"

Taehyung pursed his lips. He hadn't looked away from Jungkook, but the shifting of his lips and nose suggested he was nervous.

"Um, well, in a sense," he said with a chuckle. "But also kinda more than that? I mean, we've been on dates but I don't think I ever openly stated that I want you to be my boyfriend. I've hinted at it, though, but I didn't know if you caught on. Or if that kind of thing is just assumed or if it has to be officially stated or...something."

Jungkook said nothing at first. His head dipped slightly, eyes tilted upward so that they could meet Tae's without the contact seeming so strong or direct.

"I won't lie to you Jungkook, when we went to see that movie last week I was really close to kissing you but I didn't know if you'd be comfortable doing that yet, or at all, and-...I'm sorry I'm not usually this awkward I've just been stressing about this all day...I just really like you..."

It was a different look on him. The anxiety that showed itself on the boy's face, the visual proof that it had been on his mind, that he had contemplated the possibility that perhaps he wouldn't get the answer he had been hoping for. And Jungkook felt just a little guilty for it. He felt he wasn't outwardly showing the interest and attraction that he really had for Taehyung.

"I like the idea of calling you my boyfriend," Jungkook confessed quietly under his breath.

Just like that, Taehyung's train of thought snapped like a twig. "You do? Really?? I can tell my friends I have a boyfriend??"

"If it makes you happy..."

"It'd make me happy if you smiled."

Jungkook lifted his head fully now, not expecting this comment or the sweet look the other boy was now giving him - well, it started sweet, but soon morphed into a series of odd facial expressions the boy was so obviously pulling in hopes he could get Jungkook to laugh. And it worked.

Just a small giggle, but Jungkook cracked a big, crooked smile that filled Taehyung's heart with joy.

He just stared. Stared till he lost track of how long he'd been staring, until Jungkook could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

Before long those short fifteen minutes were up and Taehyung had to go back to work.

He stood up from his seat, took a step over to Jungkook and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek.

And Jungkook intentionally turned his head at the last moment so that Tae's lips could brush against his own.

Chapter Text

It came as a disappointment to Yoongi and Jimin that both boys had to part ways late that afternoon. However Yoongi had received a call from his father asking if the boy could help him with something again, and Jimin had soon after gotten a text from his brother saying he wanted to talk. And Jimin, for one, wasn't about to pass this up.

He didn't know what it could be about. He only had ideas. Whatever it was, though, Jimin wanted to be there. He honestly felt like the cracks in his and Jihyun's relationship had been mended, and now the younger didn't have to feel so anxious about being around him.

As they stood outside the door to Jimin's house Yoongi slowly and sadly released his boyfriend from a hug. "Text me when you can, okay, Jimin?"

"I will."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you, too."

It felt so natural already. Yet, still did Jimin's heart swoon at the words. He watched with loving eyes as Yoongi made his way down the sidewalk in the direction of his house, turning around and waving once he reached the end of the block.

Jimin waved back, then went into his house.

A gentle quietness hung in the air. Leaving his shoes by the door, Jimin made his way into the kitchen, only realizing once he saw his brother sitting alone at the table that he still had on Yoongi's sweater.

"You're looking awfully bright today."

Jimin offered a nervous little smile.

"That your boyfriend's?"

"Yeah," Jimin replied as he pulled out a chair to sit down. Boyfriend. "I asked to borrow it for today."

"Kinda suits you. More natural, ya know?"

It felt so relieving to hear. On the inside, Jimin grinned with happiness at his brother's comment. On the outside he just nodded and breathed a soft thank you.

For a moment Jihyun remained silent, stirring his coffee as he stared down at it with inscrutable eyes. Jimin watched him. And he waited patiently. Surely, the man had more to say than simply complimenting his little brother's outfit for the day - granted, that did mean a lot to him, and Jimin wouldn't have complained if that were all it was. But he knew better.

"How was your day at school?"

"Good," Jimin replied.

"Did anyone give you a hard time?"

"Not really, no. I got some weird stares but they didn't really bother me." The boy shrugged, then thought back fondly on the hug he'd shared with his friends earlier that day. "It was a good day."

"Good. I'm glad."

The faintest of smiles graced Jihyun's lips. He hasn't raised his head yet. And Jimin didn't want to believe it, but it almost seemed as though his brother was ashamed to.

"Jihyun, are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine," he said, glancing at the younger for a second so as to reassure him. "Didn't sleep well last night, guess I'm feelin' the effects a little late, maybe. But it's nothing. Don't worry."

"Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

This question earned Jimin his brother's silence again. More prolonged this time, and the younger felt a wave of unease wash over his heart briefly. Jihyun hardly ever showed a quiet or solemn side. And it never failed to raise Jimin's concern.

"A few years ago," Jihyun began after some time, "you know, that day I punched my friend in the face and broke off contact with him..."

He paused as a heavy cloud seemed to settle over the room.

"How much of our conversation did you hear, Jimin?"

He hadn't expected this. Nervously, Jimin dug into his head and pulled out his memories of that terrible day. "Not much," he answered in earnest. "I just remember hearing a loud noise and I came to the staircase and saw you holding him by his collar with a bruise already on his cheek..." Jimin swallowed his breath. "...and then you yelled at him for hiding that he was gay."

"Yeah, well that wasn't everything that happened."

Jimin stopped. He stared at his brother but his brother stared down at his hands.

"I didn't punch him because he was gay, Jimin. I punched him because he got a boyfriend and didn't tell me until he came out."

It didn't register at first what Jihyun had implied by this. Luckily, though, he elaborated without Jimin having to ask.

"I never even suspected it," the older continued, his voice low and reflective. "He never showed any signs really that would have hinted at it...never reacted much to male actors when we watched shows together or even gave attention to the guys at our school. I mean, he was always a fan of skinship, didn't care much for personal space when it came to me but it was natural, you know, we were close friends..."

Jihyun pursed his lips. His eyes narrowed at his coffee cup.

"I never would have believed it if someone else told me he was gay. Never. And I never considered myself gay, either. I still don't. It was just this thing I had solely for him. I struggled with accepting it for the longest time, and even more so realizing I'd have to get over it because there was no way he was gay."

Jimin couldn't bring himself to interrupt his brother, but his compressed heart had so much it wanted to say at that moment. He could see the gradual decline in Jihyun's expression. Sinking with every word he spoke.

"So it ruined me that day," he said, "when Sehun said to me, 'Jihyun, I have a boyfriend.' Because it was then it really hit me just how much I screwed up. Waiting too long. Not telling him. Even if I'd had a chance at any point, I screwed it up by not speaking up sooner. It broke me. Snapped every nerve in my body and just let loose all the pent-up frustration I had with myself. On him..."

Bitterness. Regret. Surprisingly, his voice held steady but that didn't alter how utterly torn it sounded.

"I couldn't face him. I could never face him after that. But I think it's for the best Sehun never has to see me again. He deserves better company that I ever could be."

"No..."

Those words were his breaking point. The heart-wrenching acceptance of something Jimin didn't agree with at all, the look of defeat and guilt plastered on Jihyun's miserable face. Jimin tried to blink away his tears but they only fought back as his brother looked across the table at him.

"Jimin, don't-"

"Jihyun, that's not fair..." He sniffled, lifting his arm to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of Yoongi's sweater. "Don't say that...please don't say that about yourself-"

"I'm right, though."

"You're not!" The younger exclaimed in protest. "Sehun loved your company, he loved being around you, you were important to him-"

"And yet I gave him a bruised jaw."

"Jihyun..."

He couldn't take the sight of Jimin crying. Not again. Not so soon. Not for his sake. "Stop wasting your tears on me, kid-"

"They're not a waste, shut up," Jimin sobbed. "You're my brother, and I don't want you to go around thinking you deserve to be stepped on by yourself for the rest of your life."

Jihyun tried to smile but his lips quivered instead. He outstretched his hand to pat Jimin's head. "Are you giving me a pep talk, Jimmie?"

Jimin pouted in response and sniffled again.

"What?" Jihyun chuckled.

"Talk to him."

"I can't."

"You can!"

"He's not gonna want to speak to me after I broke off contact with him for years."

"You don't know that..."

Heartbroken. Jihyun could feel how genuinely heartbroken his little brother was about all this, and that only made him feel worse. But maybe that was for the better.

"You're right," he said with a forced smile. "I don't know that. Sometimes I think I know a lot of things but I've been proven wrong more times than I can count."

Jihyun used his thumb to wipe away a tear rolling down Jimin's cheek.

"I'm starting to think you're a lot wiser than I am, Jimmie."

"...so will you talk to him?"

"For you, I'll try."

He knew Sehun's apartment. Years ago, shortly before the incident, Sehun had told Jihyun about the apartment he moved into and encouraged his friend to visit whenever he had the chance. Of course, Jihyun never got around to doing that. But now he stood in front of what he hoped was still Sehun's apartment.

For all he knew the man could have moved out by this point.

And he thought to himself, if that turned out to be the case, it was karma at work.

Jihyun rang the doorbell. He didn't hear any voices, but within just a few seconds footsteps from inside the apartment began to approach.

The door opened.

There stood a tall, slender man with dyed blonde locks, loose-fitting stylish clothing and a small tattoo on the back of his left hand. The tattoo was new. But everything else checked out.

"Jihyun...?"

He didn't say anything. He wouldn't even bring himself to look Sehun in the eye, but rather bowed in shamefacedness.

"Jihyun, what-...what are you doing here?"

"I'll leave soon, don't worry-"

"No, please don't."

It wasn't the response he expected. But still did Jihyun keep his head turned towards the ground.

"Jihyun, get up, c'mon, what're you doing-?"

"I'm sorry."

"...what?"

"I still love you. So I'm sorry about that, too."

The man standing just inside the apartment stood there for but a moment longer before reaching out to take Jihyun by his upper arm and urge him to stand upright. And he gave no warning before embracing him fully.

"That's a ridiculous thing to apologize for, Hyunie."

"It is when you're talking to a taken man."

"I broke up with that guy months after I started dating him, Jihyun."

"Oh...well, I'm sorry to hear that-"

"Don't be. Just come inside and we can talk."

"You really want to talk with me after what I did to you?"

"You really want me to just send you home after you just confessed your love to me?"

"...I mean, it's what I expected."

"Yeah, well we don't always get what we expect in life, now do we?"

"Yeah..."

Jihyun smiled softly as Sehun hugged him tighter.

"You're certainly right about that..."

Chapter Text

The days slipped by so quickly, but this time, not through Jimin's fingers. Before he knew it, though, his graduation day had started to approach, but sooner so, his school's annual dance that Jimin had never cared for in the past. He'd always gone merely for participation and hung around Namjoon the entire night, but now that Yoongi had come into the picture, Jimin suddenly cared a lot more. As did Yoongi.

It was an obvious, unspoken decision that the two would be each other's dates to the dance. However, still did Jimin feel obligated to ask anyway.

"I'll have to think about it," Yoongi joked, which sadly drew from the other a surprised and disappointed reaction. "J-Jimin, I'm just messing with you. Of course I want to go with you."

"Well, I didn't know if you cared for the event." Jimin shuffled his feet nervously.

"If I didn't before, I do now," Yoongi said, smiling as he reached forward to take Jimin's hand. "I'd be an idiot to pass up the opportunity to dance with the cutest boy in school."

"...I'm not-"

"Shall I swing by your house at around seven tomorrow?"

Internally sighing, Jimin gave a brief nod which earned him both a smile and a kiss to the cheek. "I'll see you then, baby."

Though it still slightly saddened him still to wave goodbye, it wasn't as difficult for Jimin, who had it in his mind already that he needed to prepare for tomorrow. For starters, the boy had to figure out what to wear - whether he wanted to go with one of the dozens of outfits Yoongi had enthusiastically helped him pick out on their recent "remodeling Jimin's wardrobe" shopping trip, or if he wanted to go with something a bit nicer and more formal for the occasion.

Secondly, Jimin had made an appointment at his local hair salon.

*

"Are suspenders too much? Be honest with me, Hobi."

"Why would they be too much? I think they'd look good."

Sitting back against the pillows on his bed, Yoongi crossed one arm over his stomach and sighed deeply. "I don't know..." He whispered into the phone. "I haven't worn them in a while, don't really know how I feel about them. I wanna look nice, ya know?"

"Yoongi, if you want fashion advice, I'm not really your guy," Hoseok laughed. He couldn't help but find his friend's distress in this situation amusing. "I think Jin would be a lot better for this kind of thing. Why don't you call him?"

"Last time I tried talking to him he seemed kinda troubled about something but wouldn't tell me what it is."

"Huh...yeah, I've kinda noticed that, too. Still, maybe he'd be up to helping you."

"I could try calling him again. Thanks, Hobi."

"Yup! I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Bye."

Feeling somewhat disappointed, Yoongi hung up on Hoseok, moments later bringing up Seokjin's contact but hesitating to call. After some time he made the decision to do so. Maybe he'll tell me what's going on with him lately.

"...Jin?"

"Hey, Yoongi, what's up?"

Well, he sounds normal. "I had a quick fashion question for you-"

"Fashion question?" Seokjin chuckled at his friend. "Sure, go for it."

"Suspenders or no?"

"On you?" The boy stopped to hum thoughtfully for a moment. "Honestly, I think they'd work for you."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Besides, I'm sure Jimin would like them."

This comment inevitably brought out a fond smile from Yoongi, who swayed for a moment as he pictured how stunning his boyfriend would look tomorrow, regardless of what he chose for himself to wear. Still, Yoongi wanted to look nice for him.

"Alright, I'll wear 'em," he decided happily. "Thanks, Jin."

"No problem."

"Hey, by the way, are you taking any of those girls who asked you to the dance? I know there were at least a few."

"I-..." Seokjin noticeably hesitated, which only puzzled Yoongi. "No," he soon answered.

"Really?" Yoongi asked, unable to mask his surprise. "That girl who came up to you at the end of the day seemed really nice, though. Then again, what do I know about girls..."

"I just wasn't really in the mood, I guess," Jin stated vaguely. "Besides, the girls I've gone to dances with always seem to act different at the dance itself. Not to mention they tend to be a bit clingier and more talkative than I'd prefer. And maybe it's just because of the excitement of the night that they're like that, I don't know, I just...yeah. Not feelin' it."

"Are you still gonna go?"

"Yeah, I'll still be there," he replied. "Hoseok and a couple other people asked me if I was going and I told them 'yeah' so I'd feel like a liar if I didn't at this point. Besides, the food's good."

Yoongi stifled a laugh at this. "Priorities, right?"

"Absolutely. Oh, and don't think I'm gonna miss out on you and your little date's special dance together~"

"What're you gonna do, video-tape us, dad?"

"Maybe I will, son. Unless Jimin doesn't like the idea."

"Oh? Since when did you become so considerate of Jimin, huh?"

"Since the kid started looking at us and not down on us. He's come a long way."

"That he has."

*

So the night of the dance arrived and Yoongi, who sadly didn't have a license or a car, strolled along the sidewalks with nothing but the clothes on his back and a trimmed orange rose in his hand. His sister teased him for the idea, but at the same time she thought it a sweet gesture. Moreover, she couldn't have been happier for her little brother. She would have loved to drive him to the dance that night if she could.

After roughly twenty minutes Yoongi finally arrived at the door to Jimin's house. He wouldn't deny it. He felt just a bit nervous about the whole thing, but deep down he knew there was no reason to be. Jimin was his boyfriend. It wasn't as though he was stepping out boldly to ask a friend to be his date or anything. There was no reason to feel nervous. Not a one.

One doorbell ring and a few seconds later and the front door opened.

Jimin stood there, in a semi-casual black suit jacket and pants, a bowtie, rosy cheeks, and dyed pink locks.

Pink.

"I...dyed my hair."

"I can see that."

At the long stretch of silence that followed these words, Jimin wondered for a moment if Namjoon had lied to him when he said the color suited him, if maybe Yoongi didn't like it. He hadn't once mentioned the idea to him. Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have told him first.

The feeling of Yoongi softly touching his hair drew Jimin from his panicked thoughts.

"The...rose doesn't match anymore, but do you still want it?"

Before Jimin could ask what he meant, Yoongi pulled from behind his back the single orange rose he had taken with him. And he held it out to Jimin.

"Would've gotten a pink one if I'd known," he said, chuckling under his breath. "Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Cus you're making me shy. C'mon, b-...Jimin."

Jimin bit back a smile as Yoongi took his hand and started to walk. "What happened to 'baby'?"

"Not now. Let me get myself together first."

"You're being cute."

"And you're making me fall for you all over again, cut that out."

"...sorry?"

From there it was a quiet, peaceful walk to the school gymnasium - the dance location - with the two boys happily holding each other's hand and Yoongi making subtle glances at Jimin's hair that were caught every time. But Jimin pretended not to notice.

Seeing as they had walked rather than driven, Jimin and Yoongi arrived "fashionably late" to the dance and drew the attention of quite a few pairs of eyes. But neither paid any mind, except to the friend of theirs who approached them with a gleaming expression.

"JIMIN!"

"Hi, Hoseok." Jimin offered a small wave. The redhead, who had prior to this moment stuffed his face with pasta and failed to wipe away the sauce from his mouth, widened his eyes to their full capacity and completely disregarded the sigh of disappointment his best friend just released.

"You look incredible!"

"Thanks," Jimin said in reply, shyly scratching his cheek.

"Yoongi, you never told me Jimin dyed his hair!"

"I didn't know till tonight," Yoongi protested. Hoseok made a dramatic noise of understanding, then winked at his friend.

"Well, okay then," he said, grinning, "I suppose I should leave you two to yourselves, then, huh?"

So he did. Without waiting to hear another word from either of the boys, Hoseok made his departure and returned to his formerly abandoned plate of food on the other side of the fancifully decorated gymnasium. Yoongi sighed again. "He's such a mess..."

"Awfully supportive, though," Jimin added.

"Yeah, definitely that... So do you want to get something to eat?"

"Sure. Ah, wait-"

Yoongi stopped walking as soon as he had started and looked over his shoulder at Jimin. "Something wrong?"

"No," he assured him, "I just...wanted to go talk to someone for a bit. I'll come back after that, I promise."

"By someone, do you mean your brother?"

"Yeah." Jimin gave a small smile. "I told him I'd give him a call."

"By all means." Yoongi returned the smile in full. "Take your time, Jimin. I know how important he is to you."

"Thanks, Yoongi."

He left the boy with a warm kiss before taking out his phone and making his way over to a quiet and scarcely occupied area. Yoongi gently touched his lips. The things you make me feel, boy...

He saw this as a good opportunity to locate and talk to his other friends. The first he spotted happened to be Jungkook, who had brought along his boyfriend and appeared too wrapped up in a conversation to register anything going on around him. And Yoongi didn't have any desire to interrupt their moment in any way, despite wanting to talk to Jungkook. It could wait. Besides, Yoongi soon spotted Seokjin over by the drinks table, not talking with anyone at the moment.

"Jin."

"Yoongi, hey." The boy greeted him with a somewhat lazy smile, which immediately drew suspicion from his friend. "The suspenders look nice. What did I tell you?"

"You told me, and I listened."

"Good man. So where's Jimin?"

"Making a phone call, might take some time," Yoongi answered briefly. "So I came over to see what was going on with you."

"Not much. Just getting some punch."

"The punch is on the other end of the table, though."

"I know. That was the punchline."

"...you're lucky we're friends, Jin."

The conversation ended there with a quiet laugh from the both of them, comfortable silence following. Yoongi checked on Jimin from where he stood - the boy still appeared to be on the phone. He glanced over at Jungkook - still lost in Taehyung's eyes, it seemed. Meanwhile Seokjin's eye had been caught by someone else.

A certain friend standing alone, looking despondently down at a cup in his hand.

That look never failed to bother Jin's chest.

"Namjoon looks handsome."

This unannounced comment caught Yoongi off guard and urged him to look up at Seokjin with raised brows. He then followed his friend's eyes towards the boy in question. "Yeah, he does," he said in agreement. "Formal wear looks nice on him."

"Mm."

"Why don't you go tell him?"

"What?" In shock, Seokjin craned his neck to stare back at Yoongi, furrowing his brow so as to stress how against the idea he was. "No. Why on earth would I do that?"

"Oh, for goodness' sake, Jin, don't be so stubborn." The mint-haired boy rolled his eyes. "He's your friend, isn't he? Friends compliment friends. Besides, he looks kinda lonely over there. And I'm sure it would make him happy to hear from you."

He knew Yoongi had a point. But Seokjin's headstrong nature kept him rooted where he stood. Yoongi could see his friend wasn't moving, so he merely sighed in disappointment and shifted his attention over to Jimin again. The boy appeared to be in the process of finishing up the call, gradually pulling his phone away from his ear and preparing to slip it back into his pocket.

"Well, I can't make you do something you don't want to," Yoongi whispered, shaking his head, "I'm just saying, I think it would mean a lot to him. I'll talk to ya later."

"...bye."

Yoongi left. And Jin stayed, frowning intensely as he went back and forth between staring at his hands and looking back over at lonely Namjoon.

So abruptly did something else catch Seokjin's eye.

A group of girls sitting somewhat near to Namjoon, all at one table, were giggling amongst themselves as they chattered and made glances at Namjoon. But they weren't just innocently talking about him. Seokjin could tell, even from where he stood, that the girls were checking him out from head to toe, more obviously focusing on the boy's butt and slightly exposed collarbone.

It irritated Jin. More so how oblivious Namjoon seemed to the situation.

He shrugged it off at first. But that changed once one of the girls confidently walked up to Namjoon as the others observed and giggled. The boy in question, being the kind, polite gentleman that he was, greeted the girl with a smile.

She had no grasp of the term 'personal space', evidently. And she was still so clearly eyeing up Namjoon without a shred of shame.

That oblivious idiot.

Just when Seokjin thought he'd be able to keep his ground, he saw the girl reach out to touch Namjoon's shoulder.

And all of a sudden he didn't care about being stubborn anymore.

"Namjoon! I was looking for you! Ah, excuse me, miss-" He forced a bright smile, forwardly stepping into the picture. "I need to speak with him for a moment, would you mind leaving now? Thank you kindly."

The girl scowled at Jin, but listened to his request and stormed away back over to her friends.

Namjoon blinked. "Uh-"

"Are you blind??"

Frustrated. Seokjin sounded so openly frustrated with him. "Not...last time I checked." He tilted his head. "Is...is something wr-"

"Those girls!" Jin scoffed. "C'mon, don't tell me you couldn't see how they were looking at you."

Genuine confusion spread across Namjoon's face. "Well, the one just came up to tell me I looked nice-"

"She was being a perv is what she was doing," Seokjin corrected, his voice bubbling with irritation even more now. "I can't believe someone is actually capable of being as oblivious as you. You really are something else."

"I'm...sorry?" Still puzzled by how worked up this boy seemed to be, Namjoon nervously rubbed the nape of his neck. "Did I annoy you without trying this time?"

An invisible hand of guilt smacked Jin across the face. "That's not what I meant," he muttered. "I just...can't stand the sight of perverts trying to take advantage of someone like you. You deserve to be treated with more respect than that."

Such a touching comment spoken from the heart. Namjoon's chest felt warm.

"You just keep getting more charming, Jin."

No, don't say that. "What're you saying?" Jin huffed. "I've already reached my peak."

At this, Namjoon couldn't help but laugh, the dimples on his cheeks deepening as his smile grew wider. "Is that so?"

"Naturally. The world wouldn't be able to handle if I got more handsome."

"You're probably right about that."

"Of course I'm right."

Seokjin's boiling blood had calmed at this point, and the atmosphere morphed from tense to relaxed. Namjoon just had that effect, he'd realized.

"If you feel bad that I'm alone, it's okay, really," Namjoon said out of nowhere, drawing the other's attention. "I don't want to steal your time. I'll be more alert now, I promise."

Always the same. This boy always gave the impression he felt guilty for Seokjin being around him. And Jin hated that. "Well, what if I'm the one stealing your time, huh?" He crossed his arms. "Did ya think of it that way?"

"Considering I'd give you my time if you asked, I could never think of you being the thief."

Stop... "Well, could I have some of your time?"

"Of course."

That smile. That darned smile.

"You look handsome, Jin."

"Wh-" The realization that Namjoon had been the first to say it struck Jin like a metaphorical brick to the head. As though he hadn't had enough of those recently. "No, that's what I was supposed to say!"

Namjoon's eyes widened a little.

"You look handsome. There. I said it. Yoongi can shove it."

Overcome with a sudden feeling of accomplishment, Jin beamed with pride as he looked out across the gymnasium, failing at first to see the blush creeping up on Namjoon's cheeks. But he turned back again in time to see it before it could fade - rather, it deepened as the two's gazes met.

And the way Namjoon looked at him...

The way Namjoon had always looked at him since the day he confessed...

"No one's ever looked at me the way you do."

He wanted to keep it bottled. He hadn't planned to voice his thoughts, the thoughts that had been gnawing at him for weeks now. But something in his heart urged him to.

"It's bizarre, how much this has been bothering me," Jin said, laughing but it was so obviously fake.

Namjoon stared with deep concern. "What's been bothering you?"

"Just...the thought that I'm never going to meet anyone exactly like you." Another forced laugh. "Really. Like, with your manners, your mind, your kindness, your selflessness, your heart..."

Seokjin gazed down at his feet, almost in shame.

"I'm no idiot...I could deny it to anyone else, but not myself. I can't ignore knowing that you really are my ideal person."

Namjoon didn't know how to react. The gears in his head moved slowly.

"I've come to realize that the only thing that was stopping me from dating you was that you're a boy. The only thing..."

Jin pursed his lips, a gentle breath passing through his nose.

"A ridiculous thing..."

His heart hammered relentlessly against his chest.

"I could wait around for some girl to temporarily steal my heart, but that would mean letting slip away the boy who wants to keep it."

It took a lot to swallow his pride, but deeming it necessary, Seokjin finally got himself to make eye contact again.

"Before I make the mistake of putting it off any more, I want to ask you on a date, Namjoon. And don't you dare open your mouth and say it's because I feel guilty for turning you down before or some crap like that, shut up, I made this decision on my own. But break my heart if you want. You've earned that right."

Speechless. To say the very least, Namjoon was at a complete loss for words, and in fear he'd start crying, Seokjin took it upon himself to initiate a hug.

"Don't do this to me now, Kim Namjoon." He sighed, voice unsteady. "Just pick a movie or a restaurant or something before I chicken out of a date for the first time in my life."

"Anywhere is fine..."

"Uh...do you know Sanyeol's Kitchen?"

"...yeah."

"We'll go there, then. Is tomorrow night okay?"

"I'm not just dreaming this up in a hunger daze, am I?"

"Wh––hunger daze?" Jin abruptly pulled away from the hug. "Have you not eaten in a while or something?"

"I haven't," Namjoon confessed.

"To the food table. Go. Or tomorrow's dinner is on you."

"That's fine with me."

"I take it back..."

In another corner of the gymnasium, Yoongi and Jimin had already begun to sway with one another, not paying attention to what music played, not caring. Hands on hips, fingers caressing the other's hair. And before long, lips caressing the other's lips.

In their own world, where no one, no thing could bother them.

It all felt worth it.

Jimin and the person he never imagined would make his happiness such a vivid and colorful reality.

"My pastel boy..."