Work Text:
JON: Now we'll check in with Stephen Colbert over at the Colbert Report. Stephen?
STEPHEN: I've learned, through my sources, that you're holding out on me.
JON: What?
STEPHEN: I've been told you owe me cookies!
JON: I owe you cookies?
[Jon giggles.]
STEPHEN: Or candy, cakes, pies, perhaps. I understand that giving me food is a religious imperative for you.
JON: You mean Purim?
STEPHEN: Yes! Now, gimme the cookies.
[Stephen makes grabby hands.]
JON: Okay, want some hamantashen?
STEPHEN: No, Jon! I want the cookies that are my right, since you are my Jewish friend.
JON: Stephen, take a look at your interview table.
[Stephen gets up and runs over to his interview table where a gift basket wrapped in red, white and blue cellophane sits.]
STEPHEN: You did get me cookies!
[Stephen tears open the cellophane.]
JON: And that's our program for tonight. Here it is, your moment of Zen.
[Stephen waves absentmindedly as he shoves an oversized cookie shaped like America in his mouth.]