Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Kim Taehyung, what inspired you to write Stigma?"

"Is the song dedicated to someone in particular?"

"What are your plans for the future?”

“Can we look forward to another album in the future?"

The hustle and bustle of the reporters was not a new occurrence for Taehyung, and when once he had felt pride and satisfaction at all the people flocking for his attention, he now felt empty.

The questions were always the same, and how they loved to pry into his personal affairs, but he had never given them that satisfaction. Despite his naivety in the past, he did know what to hide and what to show to the general public and each side of his life was closely monitored.

He glanced up at Jin, knowing that with every second that passed around these people, the more frustrated he got. As usual, his manager's eyebrows were furrowed deeply, his jaw clenched as he gestured impatiently to the bodyguards that surrounded them, keeping him safe.

"We have to get moving, his next interview is in fifteen minutes! If we're late, Namjoon won't let me hear the end of it." He practically growled at the nearest bodyguard who was obviously a newer addition to the men surrounding them, judging by how tense he was and how his eyes widened in fear when Jin addressed him.

Luckily for him, one of the others located an opening in the crowd and Taehyung was carried away by the tide.

They reached the car awaiting them soon enough, tumbling into the vehicle, and Jin wasted no time in ordering the driver to move, slumping into his seat opposite the singer. He had always disliked the media, but today seemed like a particularly bad day to encounter them. His mood had been sour all morning, not even smiling when Taehyung had told him a particularly bad pun he had thought up the night before.

Jungkook could feel the tension as he applied his makeup for the day, speaking quietly to Taehyung as he swiped a brush across his eyelid with a well-practised stroke.

Now that the journalists were out of sight, Taehyung could visibly see some of the tension in his shoulders evaporate, but his body was still stiff and the younger man couldn't help but wonder what had put him in such a bad mood.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Jin was visibly surprised as his eyes darted to Taehyung, shifting slightly in his seat. It wasn't as if Taehyung hadn't asked about his welfare before, but maybe it was because he seemed so unapproachable today that he wondered why the singer even bothered asking. "N-no, it's fine. It's just… Something stupid, nothing to worry about."

Taehyung shot him a look and Jin sighed, turning away. "You can't do anything about it, and it'll be sorted out soon, so don't worry. Besides," Jin smiled slightly as he turned back. "The main focus should be on you for now. Promotions are going on for two weeks and I don't want you distracted."

Taehyung nodded, turning his gaze towards the window and admiring the view outside. Jin wasn't usually secretive, but he knew it was either trivial, as he said, or too personal to tell him. He wasn't too bothered, but he just hoped Jin would solve it soon. He didn't like his manager being upset, not only because he cared (because of course, he did) but also because his frustration was usually taken out on him without Jin realising.

The grey streets of Seoul whizzed past as Taehyung gradually lost focus, letting his mind wander into the abyss, only shaken out of it when Jin patted his shoulder twice as he rose from his seat, waving at Taehyung to follow his lead.

The bodyguards did well enough holding back journalists and fan sites from getting too close, and Taehyung made sure to send them a smile on the way into the building before them.

As usual, the interview droned on with questions Taehyung was all too familiar with and made sure to answer in a way that would satisfy them and anyone watching. He was tempted to fidget, but as someone in the spotlight for several years, that would come off as if he was uncomfortable which, for the most part, was true, but he had to keep up his image.

The weeks dragged on like this, interview after interview, fansign after fansign... It had begun to grow repetitive, and his smiles had become more and more artificial as the years went on.

It wasn't that he was unhappy with what he did. In fact, he loved making music, even with all the pressures that came with it. But occasionally, his craft had begun to feel more like a chore, and as much as he tried to persuade himself that this constant strain on his mind to produce newer, fresher sounds was worth it, he was beginning to realise he hadn't believed that lie for over a year now.

He was spread too thin; frayed at the edges. The more energy he released, the more he felt drained, and there was never a pause to recharge.

He was sure if he asked him, Jin would let him take a break. But the freedom would only be short-lived before he was dragged back onto the stage and worked to the bone once more. Even with a rest, he was sure it wouldn't be enough.

He often wished he could go back to when he was unknown; back to when he was simply a singer with a few fans and concerts at small venues. Back then, he knew fans by name and got along with his fan sites, making sure strike their favourite pose when he caught their eye. Jin was so much more carefree back then too, allowing fans to take photos, maybe even hug him or shake his hand because they knew the meaning of personal space and never invaded his privacy for too long.

He saw his original fans occasionally, a glimpse of one in the crowd, or a smile at a fansign event, but their interactions were shorter and less meaningful than they had been before. He cherished them the most, but never showed it how he wished he could.

Nowadays, he had to be protected from his fans, some who tried to push past the guards that seemed to be the only thing keeping him from being consumed. Some had grabbed him or even pulled at him as if he were air and they were suffocating.

It was scary, but he could do nothing about it.

Promotions were over in what felt like a decade of reciting answers he had already given at least 5 times previously, rewording them to make it seem as if it was something completely different to what he had said before. Taehyung scaled the stairs to his apartment, each step dragging him further down into exhaustion, but also to his only safe haven. He shoved open the door to his apartment, slipping off his shoes and replacing them with slippers as he trudged through the hallway.

The minimalist style of his apartment mirrored the building in which it was located. His walls were bare of memorabilia, unlike his home back in Daegu. There the walls had been adorned with photos drawing his timeline across the walls, but he rarely stayed in one place long enough to make each place his own. He used to try, but after losing the only photo of him back in junior school surrounded by the wide smiles of his classmates, their faces now long lost much like the joy of childhood he had felt back then, he had quickly given up.

Now the walls were bare, and the dark floor was empty, the only evidence of life being Taehyung himself and the companion he lived with.

Just then, a loud yap caught his attention as Yeontan made his way down the hall, barking happily when Taehyung lifted him, holding him to his chest. "I'm back." He let out a gentle sigh, burying his face into his fur.

He hadn't seen his dog pretty much since promotions began. They moved around the country and Taehyung had spent most of his nights in the hotels provided by Jin and, though they were the best each area had to offer, he couldn't help but feel out of place in each and every one, missing the sound of his pet's barks that sounded mysteriously like orders and the snuffling at his door when he left him to sleep in the living room where he should be, but always gave in to his whines to sleep on the bed with him.

The dog barked again, leaving a slobbery kiss on his cheek as they passed through the living room, and Taehyung placed him onto the bed when he made it to the bedroom. He ignored the indignant yelp as he dropped him onto the cushions, moving to the bathroom.

He glanced in the mirror, noting the bags under his eyes that were starting to show beneath the makeup. Bloodshot eyes stared back at him as he dragged a hand down his face, and he also noticed that his skin was beginning to pale ever so slightly.

He counted himself lucky he hadn't yet encountered any grey hairs, which was surprising considering his stress levels as well as how unhealthy his hair was from the amount of dye it had drowned in.

After pushing his worries from his mind, he undressed and slipped into the shower once he had deemed the temperature bearable. As usual, his mind went blank as he acted out his routine, his soul escaping his body, leaving him far behind.

When Jin first found out about this habit of his, saying he freaked out would have been an understatement. It happened often to Taehyung ever since high school, where he would drift out of lessons until they ended, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. He had got into trouble several times because of it, but when confronted, he would say it was natural.

He guessed it was a normal reaction; his eyes would completely glass over and all his senses would shut down to the point where it seemed as if he were sleeping while waking up, or even as if he were dead.

His friends grew used to it, but occasionally they would comment on how creepy it was and, over time, he learned to ignore comments like this.

It wasn't as if he could help it anyway.

When Jin had first met Taehyung, he was sitting outside his office in a dream-like state, pretty much dead to the world, and Jin had panicked.

Luckily for the pair of them, he hadn't gone so far as to call an ambulance or the police, but that was mostly due to his shriek being loud enough to cut through the haze of Taehyung's thoughts and drag him back into reality.

After heavy breathing and demanding an explanation, Taehyung had explained things to him and, though not entirely convinced it was something 'natural', he had agreed to not having a panic attack whenever it happened again. Over the years, they had learned that, though he couldn't really hear or see anything, if patted on the shoulder a couple of times, he'd usually come back to reality. It had only not worked once, but after Jin had begun to shake him, he had returned easily enough.

After then, Jin had slowly grown used to this trance, but Taehyung still tried to not fall into them too often though they had gradually become a more frequent occurrence despite his best efforts. There were days when he hardly felt there at all, as if his body had slipped from his control like sand falling through his fingers. This had been happening more often and, though Jin had expressed his concerns to Taehyung, offering to hire a therapist, Taehyung had chosen to ignore him, preferring to wait out these episodes.

Now that he was alone, however, he allowed it to take him whenever he felt the familiar tug at his conscience.

Sometimes he found it difficult to tell when he was daydreaming and sometimes it was easy to distinguish his state of mind. It had become more difficult considering how much it happened, but he was certain he had pulled himself out when he spotted someone on the other side of the room.

He hadn't noticed when it got dark outside, but the moonlight filtered gently through translucent curtains, painting the room in an ethereal glow and lighting up the stranger's face.

He was gorgeous, and that was all Taehyung could really think when those dark eyes met his own. Taehyung couldn't help but stare in awe at the stranger in his home. Thinking back, he likely should have been more concerned about how he'd found a way into an apartment surrounded by guards who would have encountered him, but he found himself memorising his features as if he'd be gone long before he had painted the image in his mind.

Throughout this thought process, the man before him remained silent, only tilting his head a little in what seemed to be curiosity, like Taehyung was the intruder rather than him.

The singer finally managed to muster up the courage to speak, his voice cracking slightly for a reason he did not yet know. “W-who are you?”

The stranger’s expression cracked into a broad grin, eyes glittering in the dark as if they had captured the very light of the stars in the night sky. “Something new.” He stepped forwards, hesitant but seemingly excited at the thought of coming closer.

Taehyung could not move, rooted to the spot in shock and something else. He almost felt as if he recognised the boy in front of him, but he had certainly never seen him before since he would not forget a face such as his so soon, Smooth pale skin shone in the moonlight, dark wavy hair shifting in the air despite all the windows being shut, locked and covered to prevent invasive photos being taken of the idol.

His eyes dropped to the stranger’s lips, a tense gulp shuddering down his throat when the man’s tongue darted out to wet them. He remained completely oblivious, moving over to the table, pulling himself up gracefully before grinning back at Taehyung when he noticed his gaze still trained on him. “Like what you see?”

Taehyung flushed in embarrassment, his skin burning like fire. He tried looking at anything but him as he attempted to find the words to respond, but all that escaped his dry lips was a squeak resembling the word “No” and his face heated up even more. He couldn’t help but subconsciously chase the feeling as it gradually began to leave his body as fast as it had come.

“Shame, ‘cause I do.”

Taehyung’s head snapped back up, ears and neck now as red as his face when he met the boy’s mischievous gaze.

The stranger chuckled, swinging his legs a little, heels knocking against the table legs gently. “What do I call you, stranger?”

Taehyung cleared his throat, calming his nerves a little. “Kim Taehyung.” He paused, glancing down at the floor. “What do I call you?”

“You mean you’re the singer?”

Taehyung nodded. “You know me?”

The stranger nodded back, a small, sad smile appearing on his lips. “I’ve always been meaning to meet you again. I never got the chance before…” He paused, glancing away once more. “Before now.”

“A fan?” He paused. “Wait, we’ve met before?”

“Yeah, something like that…” The stranger looked up again, a smile lighting up his face, though it seemed a little strained now. “It was a long time ago, I wouldn’t expect you to remember.” He pushed himself from his seat on the table, brushing down his trousers, and Taehyung couldn’t help but watch in silence. “You can call me Jimin.”

The name caused a light to flicker in the singer’s mind, but though he tried his best, he could not locate the source of his familiarity with the name. “Jimin…” He tested the name out on his lips, a fresh new flavour that somehow tasted like home.

Jimin’s eyes lit up when he spoke, but it quickly fell into a frown. “So soon…” He muttered under his breath before forcing yet another strained smile to take over his expression. “I have to go. See you around, Tae.”

He let himself out of the apartment without another word and, though Taehyung tried to follow him, Jimin was long gone by the time he had opened the door to look out.

A little shaken, he retreated back into his home, hands shaking a little. He knew for sure the name rang some bells, but could not quite remember from where they were coming from or what kind they were.

“A long time ago, huh…”

Could it have been in the early days of his career? He only had a few fans back then, but he was sure he had at least committed their faces to memory. He often caught glimpses of them un concerts or even greeted them at fansign events. He loved all his fans, of course, but they were particularly precious to him.

He could not remember meeting Jimin back then, so perhaps even before then? He couldn’t really remember that far back into his past. The few scenes that he was able to play back in his mind were blurry and distorted, and none of them contained even a trace of the Jimin he had met today, though he had more than likely changed a lot since then if he had indeed met him that long ago.

These thoughts plagued his mind for the next few days. There was no sign of Jimin, though Jin had agreed to keep a discreet eye out for him at Taehyung’s request, though he had seemed rather perplexed and even a little concerned at how he’d found his way into the singer’s apartment without detection.

“I let him in.” Taehyung insisted, hands balled up into fists in his lap.

“Are you sure?” Jin organised a small pile of papers, sliding them into a file that lay atop an ever-growing pile on his right. “How’d you manage to get him by security by yourself?”

Taehyung faked a mischievous smirk, tapping his nose. “I have my ways, Hyung. Just… Keep an eye out, ok?”

Jin nodded with a sceptical expression, waving the singer out before he resumed his work, pausing only for a moment, tapping his pen gently against the desk just as Taehyung left the room, the sound shuddering through his head as he walked on, closing the door gently behind him.

It wasn’t for another week that he encountered Jimin again, once again sitting on the table, this time twirling a kitchen knife between his fingers. He grinned when he caught sight of the singer, dropping the knife onto the table top and leaping off himself, a wild expression evident in his eyes. “You’re here!”

Taehyung nodded slowly, having returned from a trip in the city involving several overzealous fans. He dropped his now-forgotten bag to the floor with a hesitant smile. “I’m always here.”

Jimin opened his mouth as if he were about to say something but quickly shut it again with a pause before he decided to speak again. “Of course.” He let out a sharp laugh, beginning to look around excitedly. “Mind giving me a tour?”

“Uh,” Taehyung paused. “There’s not much to see, though?” It came out as a question more than the statement it was, and Jimin simply giggled in response, already moving to the room adjacent.

“What’s this?”

Taehyung moved to his side, glancing in. “That’s where I sleep, Jimin.” He glanced up with a puzzled look. “You have seen a bedroom before, right?”

Another one of his sharp laughs. “Of course!” He wiggles his eyebrows rather suggestively. “Do anything else in there?”

Taehyung flushed. “Why on earth would I tell you that?”

Jimin shrugged, looking away. “I don’t know, just asking.” He continued around the house, asking questions as if this was all new information for him.

When they returned to the kitchen, Jimin grinned again. “Hey, Taehyung?”

“Mhm?”

“Cook for me?”

Taehyung paused. “I don’t have much to go with.” He hadn’t gone shopping for quite a while since his meals were provided during promotions wherever he happened to be at the time when he was away from home.

Jimin giggled. “It’s ok, we can make something up!” He turned to the singer with a pleading look. “Please? I’d love to eat something you made for me… I’ll help out, too!”

“O-ok…” Taehyung gave in, opening the fridge to look for anything he could possibly use.

As he had claimed, there was very little to work with, only a few usable items scattered throughout the food that was clearly out of date or completely inedible.

“What about that?” Jimin pointed out a packet of ready-made noodles Taehyung hadn't noticed beforehand.

After that, it got easier to find ingredients with Jimin’s help. He could probably make something edible with what he had now, at least. Fumbling with pots and pans, his movements clumsy with lack of recent practice, he managed to cook a meal without setting his apartment on fire.

For being as out of practice as he was, he considered this a victory.

Jimin, who had been observing with silent interest, jumped up to help Taehyung pour the noodles and broth into the bowls. As he took one for himself, his face fell similarly to how it had done so last time and, with a designated sigh, he replaced the bowl on the counter. “I have to go.”

Taehyung was upset, of course, considering he'd made it all and now it would be going to waste. “Are you sure you can't stay any longer?”

Jimin nodded, turning to leave.

“W-wait!”

Jimin turned back to the singer, who now spotted a shy smile as he held out the bowl, now covered in cling film, supposedly to keep it warm.

“Take it with you and tell me what you think next time you come around?” The pitch of his voice raised just a little at the end and Jimin couldn't help but smile in response.

“It's a promise, then.”

Taehyung, once again, was left alone and in silence.

Once again, Jin expresses his concerns over security to the singer. “We’re lucky he's friendly, but what if someone with bad intentions manages to do the same?”

Taehyung sighed, idly twirling a spoon around the rim of his coffee mug. “If I see anything suspicious, I’ll let you know so you can take precautions.” He lifted his gaze to Jin, a stinginess in his expression that the older man was unfamiliar with. “Until then, leave it to me.”

Jin could do nothing but give in with more worries plaguing his mind than before. Something about all this felt a little off to him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The next contact Taehyung has with Jimin came through a text from a number saved under his name.

I’m behind the complex, come and find me x

Taehyung wasted no time leaving his apartment, slipping on a coat and shoes at record speed before reaching the door, sending a quick text to let Jin know he was going out.

He spotted Jimin loitering by the car park entrance, lighting up when he caught sight of the singer, calling out his name and jogging over.

Taehyung hadn't noticed before, but Jimin was wearing the same clothes as their very first encounter; an oversized denim jacket with matching jeans and a black turtleneck that was just a little loose on his form. More likely, they were just similar to back then, since Taehyung hadn’t thought to look this closely before.

“You do like what you see, don't you?”

When Taehyung made eye contact, he immediately flushed when Jimin winked. He tried to speak, but everything that fell from his lips was incoherent and he soon gave up trying.

Jimin giggled and Taehyung’s heart skipped a beat. “It’s ok, I feel the same.” He gestured for him to follow and the singer did so without hesitance, hurrying to his side while keeping a little distance between the two.

Every time their eyes met, he felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his veins while his mind wandered to scenarios he felt far too embarrassed to admit out loud.

They reached the main road, cars whizzing past and Jimin, with a mischievous grin, took a confident step forwards before Taehyung could even reach out to stop him.

With self-assured strides, he made his way across the busy roads.

Taehyung could overly stare in awe of the boy who seemed as if he'd done it hundreds of times. When Jimin turned back with a smile, Taehyung almost grinned back until he noticed a truck hurtling at full speed towards the boy who hadn't seemed to notice it.

“Jimin, look out-” He shrieked at the top of his lungs, throwing himself forwards, paying little attention to his surroundings. A shudder of relief wracked his body to his core when he spotted Jimin, safe at the other side of the road.

“Taehyung-”

No sooner had Jimin yelled his name did a car to his right honk loudly, Taehyung tumbling out of the way just in time. Heart racing, he struggled to his feet, stumbling across the road with his heart stuck in his throat towards safety.

When he made it to Jimin’s side, he immediately let his body slump, adrenaline seeping out of his limbs as fast as it had seized him only moments before.

“Are you ok?” Jimin fretted over him, hands ghosting over his body as he scanned him for injuries.

“Y-yeah, I’m ok…” Taehyung sucked in several deep breaths, his eyes meeting Jimin’s, the other boy’s flashing with an emotion the singer couldn't decipher.

“You shouldn't have followed me, you could have…” He trailed off, withdrawing his hands and rising to his feet once more.

“Same to you.”

Yet another emotion clouded Jimin’s eyes, but this time, Taehyung recognised it as what he thought was… Sadness? Regret? He couldn't be sure, but it felt all too familiar, almost dark in a way.

“I was worried.” Taehyung continued, managing to push himself to stand on shaky legs. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

“You should worry more about yourself.”

“Am I not allowed to worry about my friend?”

Jimin let out another sharp laugh. “Friends?”

Taehyung frowned. “If not friends, then what? Aren't we friends?”

Jimin smiled warmly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Sure, if that's what you want.”

“I-” Taehyung felt unsure of himself, trying to figure out what to say next. Is that what he wanted? Did he want more? Something… Different? He couldn't say for sure, so he remained silent, eyes cast to the floor.

“We have time,” Jimin answered Taehyung’s unspoken questions. “No rush, right?

Taehyung smiled at that, nodding as he followed Jimin’s footsteps once more, this time down an empty path Taehyung's had never encountered before. Though, thinking back on it, he never managed to get out much.

Jimin was speaking, but Taehyung wasn't paying much attention. His mind was split between admiring his surroundings, attempting to memorise the route they were taking, and admiring Jimin himself.

It was unusual to see an area so dense with greenery in the city, but this area seemed to be the exception. Light filtered through the trees above, thick tree trunks surrounding the two of them on both sides, but the path before them was clear, only a few leaves littering the ground, gently crunching beneath Taehyung’s feet.

Whatever he felt around Jimin, it was, as Jimin put it, something new. Though he didn't yet have a name for it, he certainly didn't want to lose it anytime soon.

Jimin halted, the boy behind him soon following just before he bumped into him.

The path was gone, replaced with a wooden platform that jutted out, a little worn and rotten over time, but otherwise seemingly safe enough to hold the weight of several people. Below, a lake glistened in the sunlight, the orange glow of sunset setting the body of water aflame. At a closer look, the lake was actually rather murky, algae concealing anything that lurked below the surface.

Jimin stepped towards, settling down at the end of the platform, feet dangling just above the lake. He had a whimsical expression, seemingly a little lost in thought as he gazed across the water.

Taehyung sat beside him without a word, watching the ripples that disturbed the still surface.

It was a while before Jimin said anything and, when he did, it was only a continuation of whatever he was babbling about on their way here. It was as if he'd been paused for several moments before resuming as if nothing had happened.

But then Jimin suddenly fell completely silent and Taehyung could only wait to see if it was simply another pause from which he'd continue from again but, instead, his entire posture changed.

Where before he had leant back, relaxed and carefree as the sun trickled over his skin, he was now closed off, knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them like a cocoon, eyes shadowed and misty with several emotions flickering like a TV screen across his face.

“Are you ok?”

Jimin remained eerily silent for several long moments, opening his mouth a few times but, when no sound came out, he closed it again.

“Jimin-”

“This place…” Jimin's voice was quieter, colder than usual, and Taehyung felt a chill run down his spine as he watched the scene unfold.

“W-what about it?” He felt the familiar stab of fear in his chest, eyes widening and breaths quickening.

Then, the moment ended.

Taehyung blinked and the air around him warmed, the atmosphere surrounding them both returning to normal. The tension that hung between them immediately disappeared, his tense body loosening rapidly. Jimin was still speaking, but it was the same rambling as before, and Taehyung began to wonder whether it had truly happened at all.

Jimin looked over, eyebrows furrowing just a little when he caught Taehyung’s expression. “Are you ok.”

Taehyung nodded, his body feeling numb. “I’m fine, just…” He smiled, a little forced. “It's nothing.”

Jimin’s eyes scanned his face once more before he nodded, seemingly accepting the response before continuing to speak again.

It wasn't long before Jimin's face fell as usual and this time he noticed the other boy wince as if he'd been injured suddenly.

They parted as usual and Taehyung made his way back to his apartment. It was getting rather dark now and he made sure to find a crossing at the main road on the way back.

Jin stood at the entrance to the complex, masking worry with irritation when Taehyung finally entered his field of view. “Where have you been? You can't just send me a vague text and expect me to be fine with you leaving out of the blue!” He yelled through gritted teeth, fury rising to his skin and bubbling over even though he tried his best to contain it. He tapped his foot against the floor repeatedly, arms crossed as he waited for Taehyung to approach.

It reminded him of the times he had been sent to the headmaster’s office, his mother waiting for him to explain himself, but always on his side.

Jin was not his mother.

Taehyung’s expression soured as he pushed past his manager. “I'm not a child. You can't control whether I come and go all the time.

Jin’s expression turned from stormy to thunderous. “You're an idol, Taehyung! You can't just up and leave, you might put yourself in danger!

“I'm a grown man! Stop treating me like a child!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

The two of them hadn't had a screaming match like this for years, not since Taehyung had grown out of the more rebellious early years of his career. They'd had disagreements, but they had since learned to deal with them with a little more civility now, though that concept seemed to have been flung out the window this time around.

Taehyung had entered the complex now, storming up the stairs in a weak attempt to lose Jin on the way up. It didn't matter since, as his manager, he had keys to his room, but he tried nonetheless.

“And why the fuck did you put yourself in so much danger?”

Taehyung paused at that, turning back to an out-of-breath Jin close behind him. “What do you mean by that?”

In reply, Jin whipped out his phone with practised speed, turning the screen towards the singer.

Just his luck.

The photo displayed was clearly the singer, mere centimetres away from colliding with the grill of an oncoming vehicle, his expression one of panic, cheeks flushed with fear and adrenaline.

“Explain.”

Taehyung could not see Jimin behind him, as he had thought the other boy had been, but, knowing him, he had likely misjudged the angle. “Jimin was there with me, it was an accident! I thought-”

“You clearly didn't think! This is all over the internet now! People think you're either suicidal or round the bend!”

Taehyung scowled. “That's stupid.”

“Taehyung-”

“Why should we even care what they think? You’ve always told me the media is dumb anyway.”

Jin sucked into a breath, his entire body shuddering with the effort to remain even remotely calm. “That may be true, but if they spread stories that you’re mentally ill and unstable, your entire career is over for good, and there will be nothing I can do to stop it.”

Taehyung paused before turning away completely.“It was one mistake. I’ll be careful from now on, ok?” Taehyung grumbled, entering his apartment with hunched shoulders and a sour expression.

Jin lingered at the entrance for several moments before leaving, worry lines more prominent than ever. He had been a little startled when he only got a single text from Taehyung before he left since usually, he'd at least call him to make sure Jin would know where he was if he got into any sort of trouble.

That had only been the first red flag. When he noticed Taehyung's name was trending online, he knew that something must have happened while the singer was out, and it only took a few moments to see why.

He had tried calling, but he wouldn't pick up, even after he had tried at least seven times to reach him. He tried texting Namjoon and Yoongi, since they were in the studio that day, and maybe they'd seen him pass by to give him an idea of where he could be, but the pair both apologised and confirmed his worries. Not even his closest friends, Jungkook or Hoseok had any idea where they went. He thought maybe he'd call them instead, but just like the others, they had no idea.

Hence, he found himself standing outside the complex, tapping his foot impatiently while he waited, making sure he'd be the first to spot the idol when he returned.

It wasn't until later that he returned. the sun had long since set and the street lights were aglow, and Taehyung slowly trudged into view. Something was definitely wrong, but Jin had no reason to be so worried.

But Jin had learned to trust his instincts over the years spent managing Taehyung's career, so once he had finished with Taehyung, he popped his head back into the studio where Yoongi and Namjoon were still trying out new sounds and comparing lyric ideas.

"Hey, would you guys mind doing me a favour?"

Namjoon glanced up, eyes softening when he caught sight of Jin's frazzled expression. "What do you need?"

Jin explained what was going on with Taehyung; the visitor who evaded all security of the complex, the late-night walks, and Taehyung's recently negative aura that had been only getting worse by the day.

"I thought he seemed a little different..." Yoongi was speaking to himself, but Jin nodded nonetheless.

"I think it has something to do with this 'Jimin' he speaks so often about." He sighed, feeling a little guilty asking this behind Taehyung's back. "Would you mind...?"

Namjoon nodded, twirling his chair around to the computer screen, minimising anything he had been previously doing and opening a new tab. "We'll see what we can find and update you when we get more information.

Jin smiled, the tension releasing his body just a little. "Thank you."

Namjoon glanced back round, grinning wide enough to reveal the dimples Jin was so fond of. "You can count on us."

"Gross..." Yoongi scowled, moving to his own computer.

"You're just salty because you still don't have the guts to talk to that dancer you've been moping about for, what... Six months now?" Jin smirked, leaning back onto a desk. He hadn't been able to relax all day, so it felt good to be able to tease the younger man a little.

Yoongi muttered something undecipherable under his breath, most likely profanities directed at the pair of them, and the two of them simply laughed in response.

Namjoon stood up, wandering over to Jin and taking his hand. "You should take a break for a couple of days. Taehyung's going to be avoiding you and you don't have any work that can't be left for a little while."

Jin nodded. "I think I'm going to need it." He pressed his lips to Namjoon's cheeks, a slightly shy smile on his lips. "Thanks."

Namjoon grinned once more, the edges of his eyes crinkling ever so slightly. "It's no problem. You've worked hard enough."

"Get a room, losers," Yoongi growled, eyes flitting between the pair and his computer screen, several tabs open already. "Come and help me out, since your boyfriend already asked."

The pair laughed, separating with reddened cheeks. "I'll leave you to it then. And, Yoongi?"

He glanced up, a bored expression on his face.

"Talk to that dancer already. If you get laid, maybe you won't be grouchy."

The producer's expression immediately soured, glancing around for something to throw at them but, after finding nothing, he just jerked a finger in his direction. "Fuck you."

"No thanks, I have a boyfriend." Jin left before he felt the brunt force of Yoongi's frustrations. To be fair, though, Yoongi had been a little touchier these days, and talking to Hoseok always seemed to calm him down, and sometimes he'd even smile at Jin if it went particularly well.

He had always been quite introverted, but it had been getting particularly worse recently, and it would probably do him some good once he got it over with.

But, for now, Jin knew he should rest as Namjoon had told him to since it was unlikely he'd be of any help for the next few days. especially considering his levels of exhaustion and stress were now off the charts.

However, the next few weeks proved to be the worst for him yet.

Taehyung had given up letting Jin know when he went out entirely, Jin often only found out once he was long gone. The two of them ended up in screaming matches far more often than not, and the fabric of their relationship was falling to pieces, fraying at the edges and holding on by a single string that was moments away from snapping.

Not even Namjoon could calm him down when he fell into a rage nowadays, though it did help a little.

It was on one of these days that Namjoon finally came back to him with information. The two of them were curled up on the studio’s sofa together, hands clasped between them while Namjoon drew calming circles into the older man’s palm. Jin’s head occupied Namjoon’s shoulder, eyes fluttering closed and open every few seconds.

“Jin, I might have found something on that kid Tae keeps seeing.”

Jin’s head snapped up at that, barely knocking Namjoon’s chin, though he managed to move out of the way just in time. “You did?”

Namjoon nodded, rubbing his neck a little nervously. “But… It's a long shot.”

Jin simply nodded enthusiastically, pushing himself up so he was eye level with Namjoon, pressing a swift, soft kiss to his lips. “Tell me.” He was breathless, clearly having anticipated a breakthrough for a while now.

Namjoon clasped Jin’s hand a little tighter, dragging him towards one of the many screens that lit up the studio, shifting it slightly so ye two of them could view it clearly.

“Park Jimin… He was friends with him back when the two were kids, but they drifted apart during high school since the two of them went to different schools.” He then paused, opening a new tab. “He became an avid fan of Taehyung once he became an idol, but only ever went to concerts instead of fanmeets, probably because he was nervous about being recognised, or worried he would never recognise him at all since it had been a while since the two had parted.”

Jin gazed up in awe, eyes widened by this new information. “So, he's the kid that Tae’s been talking to?”

“This is where it gets… Complicated.” Namjoon’s expression went stony as he glanced up at the screen, opening up a new tab, this time from a newspaper.

“He's dead.”

The older man’s face fell from one of interest to one of shock, mouth falling open. “C-come again?”

Namjoon gestured again to the page opened before them, covering the death of a young boy right around the time Taehyung reported seeing the stranger for the very first time. Several images were displayed, one of the boy himself, grinning towards the camera as the sun hung low on the horizon. Another displayed a lake surrounded by police tape, a dark shape floating in the water.

Jin had to hold back from gagging when he realised exactly what it was. The image itself wasn’t particularly explicit, but Jin couldn’t stop his stomach from dropping, eyes widening far enough to sting before he blinked to try to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay.

The page covered the story in detail, and Namjoon pulled up a second article, concluding the investigation as his death was a result of suicide since there was no evidence of foul play found on the scene.

The family had been distraught, insisting he would never do such a thing, but clearly, they did not know their son as much as they had previously thought.

“But, if this is the kid Taehyung is claiming to see…” Jin trailed off, voice shaking slightly.

“Something’s wrong. I don’t know exactly what it is but… I think Taehyung might be in some kind of danger.” Namjoon sighed, shutting down the computer.

Jin cursed quietly to himself. He had known something strange was going on but refused to acknowledge it. Thinking back, he probably should have looked into it earlier, before Taehyung had put himself in danger that very first time.

Since then, the singer had ended up in all kinds of dangerous situations, barely escaping with his life each and every time. All Jin had done was scold him before he managed to sneak off with ‘Jimin’ time and time again afterwards. Too many if ’s and if only ’s circled his mind, causing him to only sink deeper into the stress that had dragged him down.

Namjoon wrapped his arms around him, barely grounding him for the time being. “Are you ok?” His voice was frantic and Jin could only nod numbly in response.

“Do you want to-”

“Namjoon…” Jin felt as though he was watching himself from afar, voice echoing through his head. “Where’s Taehyung?”

Namjoon went stiff for a moment before rushing out of the studio, almost tumbling over the coffee table before exiting. Jin was left alone, sinking into the pillows of the sofa, eyes empty and tired.

It wasn't long before he heard the younger man return, though he couldn't be sure after losing focus. There was a great clatter coming from outside, panicked voices calling out to each other. He thought he heard Yoongi and Jungkook amongst the chaos but, again, he couldn't be sure.

The door was thrown open, Namjoon pulling Yoongi along, who was grasping onto a flushed Hoseok who seemed to be torn between embarrassed joy and anxiety. Behind them came Jungkook, as well as several other staff members who seemed absorbed in fervently jabbing their phones as if they had all the answers they needed.

Jungkook, wore a unique expression, not only of panic like the others but also something that mirrored regret somehow.

Jin has no time to ask questions, however, when Namjoon dragged him over to his side as he began jabbing the keyboard before him. Jin could do no more than watch in mild interest as he felt his world crumble around him, the foundations shattering at his feet.

“Where was he last seen?”

“I'm not sure, the reports are contradicting themselves…”

“What about that cafe he visited last week?”

“Apparently hasn't been there since… Anywhere else?”

“The cinema?”

“No, he went yesterday and all the photos online are from then.”

“What about-”

“Namjoon.” Jin’s voice cut above the others, heavy with an emotion he had never felt before. “What about the crime scene?”

“You mean-” He cut himself off, fingers flying across the keys before bringing up the article from earlier. “I mean, it’s a bit of a stretch but…” His gaze met Jin’s, determination flickering in his eyes. “It's worth a shot.”

“Whereabouts?” Yoongi leaned over, noting the location before his eyes darted back to his phone screen. “He was seen near the main road there around two hours ago. It's our only lead, so I guess we should check it out.” He turned to leave, making eye contact with Hoseok for a moment before gesturing at him to follow.

Hoseok’s eyes brightened just a little, worry still etched on his features.

Jin moves towards Jungkook, hand gently pressing against his shoulder. “Something bothering you?”

Jungkook's head hung low, fingers fidgeting as he clutched them to his chest. “I- I should have…” He trailed off, wincing as if it pained him to speak. “I should have taken care of him better-”

Jin gripped his shoulder just a little tighter, frown tugging at his lips. “No, there's nothing you could have done. Don't shoulder the blame when it isn't yours to bear.”

Jungkook nodded, guilt still weighing him down, but the burden had lessened somewhat.

If anyone should be feeling guilty, it was Jin himself, and he was already suffocating with the sheer volume of it slowly sapping the life from his body.

Taehyung had made his way to the lake as the text had told him to, miraculously only losing his way temporarily once before locating the body of water that now stretched before him. The two of them had only ever met up here once when Jimin had seemingly lost himself for several moments, but Taehyung had begun to understand exactly why.

Despite all the voices in his head telling him that something was wrong and he should turn back, he couldn't help but be drawn to the boy time and time again.

As expected, Jimin sat at the end of the platform, leaning back as the sun filtered down, lighting up the features Taehyung had come to love, anticipating every moment he could spend with him. It hadn't taken him long to realise where he'd recognised him from back when they first met, but even afterwards, he couldn't bring himself to pull away, even with the inevitable disaster that would ensue.

Jimin turned his head, eyes dropping as he sent Taehyung a lazy smile over his shoulder. “You've known for a while, haven't you?”

He spoke as if it was something trivial, so Taehyung played along, settling beside him, letting the other boy’s comforting aura envelop him. “I had my suspicions, but, after a while, I knew it had to be true.” With a sad smile, he turned to face Jimin. “Didn't keep me away though, did it?”

“That's what I was afraid of.” Jimin seemed to curl into himself slightly. “I was only meant to watch from afar until I… Had to leave.”

“That worked well for you, huh?”

“It wasn't enough.” Jimin looked up at Taehyung now, tears glistening in his eyes. “But it wasn't meant to end this way. It only made things harder in the end and-” He went silent, eyes almost pleading with Taehyung to go before they did something foolish.

Taehyung couldn't look away.

Realisation dawned on Jimin’s face, morphing from fear to horror. “Taehyung, no, you can't- I won't let you.”

“I want to stay by your side, Jimin. I don't want to have to stay when you leave me behind.” Taehyung was now the one pleading with the other boy, reaching out to grasp his hand, visibly upset when Jimin flinched away.

“I wish…” Jimin choked back a sob. “I wish we had led different lives, where we could have been happy.” He could barely hold back from bawling now. “We’re both young, and you have so much you could achieve… I don't want to be the one to take that away from you.” A smile cracked through his distressed expression. “I followed you, you know. When you started making music, I made sure to support you so you could reach your dreams…”

Taehyung nodded, glancing over at the lake before them. “You knew it was my dream since I was little…” He turned back to Jimin. “Why did you never show yourself?”

Jimin now stared at the floor. “I was afraid, I guess.”

“Of what?”

Jimin let out a bitter chuckle. “My feelings. I thought that, as a fan, you'd give me false hope that there could be something more so… So, I distanced myself.”

Taehyung reaches over to grasp Jimin’s hand, this time the by only flinching a little. Taehyung could feel the cold flow past his skin, seeping into his bones as he linked their fingers. “I'm not afraid, you know.”

“But I am! You shouldn't throw everything away, please.”

Taehyung simply offered him a saddened smile, rising to his feet, placing them at the edge of the platform. “I've achieved all I wanted to, and I've already accepted the consequences.”

“What about the people you love? Taehyung, you can't just leave them like this!” Jimin was getting frantic now. “I never should have approached you, I didn't know it was going to end up like this!”

Taehyung turned his back to the surface of the water, Jimin now standing by his side, gripping his arm tightly as if he could hold him back.

They both knew he wasn't strong enough.

“What about the people who loved you?”

Jimin froze at this, thinking back to his family who was likely still trying to prove he hadn't chosen to leave them. “I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. There are so many people who love you-”

“I'm ready, Jimin. I know it'll hurt them but pain is temporary and…” He paused, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. “I've never been happier than when I’m with you. Spending an eternity with you is all I want, and this is the only way.”

Jimin was frozen with fear, eyes widening. “Taehyung, no-”

“I won't lose you again, Jimin.” He leant back just a little. “I love you.” The words had barely left his lips when he fell backwards into the water, air rushing past his body as he let gravity drag him down, his eyes never leaving Jimin’s until he was out of sight. His eyes closed as he let the chill of the lake encompass him. When he opened his eyes again, Jimin floated before him, conflicting emotions flashing across his face.

Taehyung was quickly losing feeling in his limbs, lungs burning with the lack of air. Just as he was ready to open his mouth, accepting the consequences of his actions, he felt cool lips on his own, tender and hesitant, before Taehyung mustered up the strength to grasp Jimin’s cheeks, holding him close for as long as possible.

Jimin mirrored his actions, the kiss becoming slightly desperate and rushed as Taehyung began finding it harder and harder not to pull away for air that wasn't there.

When he could finally bear it no more, he felt his lungs filling with icy water, eyes locked with Jimin’s, his tear-streaked face raw with emotion as he spoke to him for the last time before Taehyung would join him permanently.

“I love you too.”

Taehyung buried his voice forever.

Bonus: (cr. ciocii on dA and cio_art on instagram)