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Steve resisted the urge to tap his pen on his notepad, eyes flicking towards the window for the hundredth time. He should be paying attention, but the room was warm, Martin had a soft, droning sort of voice, and they'd been talking about marble for four hours now. Steve was running short on attention span.
He was grateful that Stark Industries had outsourced the design of their new headquarters to his company, but in his eagerness to secure the bid, Steve's boss had agreed to have all the joint meetings at SI. None of this was information Steve needed. He was nothing more than a junior designer - graduating top of his Commercial Architecture class meant next to nothing when he was still greyscale - and everything that impacted the parts of the design he'd be responsible for would all be in a briefing packet he'd be emailed later today anyway.
But he was gunning for a senior design position - and he believed with all his heart that he'd meet his soulmate and get his colours before it was too late - so he shifted upright in his seat and tried to look engaged.
Fury handed the meeting off to Sitwell in structural engineering to discuss preliminary footprint, and Steve started doodling on his notepad under the guise of taking notes.
Halfway through a sentence about foundation quality, the door opened and everyone turned to look as Tony Stark himself swanned into the room. He shook Sitwell's hand, momentarily stunned into silence, and grinned up at the slideshow they'd paused while Sitwell talked. "Marble, huh?" he asked with a smirk, tugging off his sunglasses and tossing them on the table.
"Mr. Stark." Fury rose to shake his hand. "I didn't think we'd be graced with your presence today."
"Well…" Tony sat in a chair at the head of the table and leaned back. "I told Pepper I wanted the new building to just be a giant statue of me, but she said that was 'untenable.' I thought I'd come ask the professionals." When Sitwell started stammering around reasons why that wouldn't work, Tony waved him off with a laugh. "I'm kidding. I just wanted to meet the team. Hi team." He waved.
"Right, of course." Fury gestured Sitwell back into his seat then started running down the table, introducing people.
Steve braced himself, hating the way the spotlight swung closer and closer. He prepared for that look of pity or disgust he got all too often when a newcomer's eyes alighted on his bony wrists and sunken chest. He shuffled in his seat, curling in on himself.
"And this is Steve Rogers, one of our junior designers," Fury said, and Tony's eyes landed on him.
It wasn't pity. Actually, Steve had no idea what it was. Tony stared at him like he'd just seen a ghost, then fluttered his eyes around the room like he'd been temporarily transported elsewhere. He cleared his throat and looked back at Steve, blatantly staring.
"Uh, and you remember Sharon," Fury went on. "Lead of commercial accounting."
Tony blinked, coughed, then nodded. "Right. Right. Natasha, Clint, S-Steve…" he went down the table. "Sharon. Okay. Good. Look, carry on with the meeting. Pretend I'm not here. I just wanted to - uh - observe…" He sat back heavily in the chair and let out a tense breath then turned sharply towards the slides again. "Huh," he said softly to himself.
Steve could feel his cheeks heating, stomach twisting and jolting. Why had Tony reacted so oddly to seeing him? Had they met before? Did Tony recognize him? But surely Steve would remember meeting someone like Tony Stark. He was famous.
Not a single word of the rest of the meeting made it into Steve's brain. If he'd been distracted before, it was nothing to how he felt now, watching Tony shift and squirm in his chair. Eventually, Tony took out his phone and started scrolling through pages of something that looked like pictures. Steve wondered if he was looking at inspiration for the building, but he couldn't tell. He was too far away.
Everyone started shuffling and stacking notepads, and Steve realized with a jolt that the meeting was finished. He hasted to collect all his things, but when he finally had his arms full, he looked up and realized he was alone in the room. Actually, not alone. Tony Stark was standing in the doorway, still looking at his phone.
Steve shuffled along the row of chairs and tried to slip past him.
"Hey. Steve, right?" Tony said somewhat breathlessly. Okay.. so they hadn't met before?
"Uh, yeah."
"Right… cool. So, um, coffee sometime? Or, you know, whatever…"
"Sorry, what?" Steve shifted his folders in his arm. "Coffee?"
"Yeah. Do you want to get coffee sometime, then?" There was something uncomfortably expectant in Tony's voice.
"No." It slipped out, almost certainly too blunt, but Steve didn't even know this guy. Why would he want to go out with him? Just because he was famous? "No, thanks," he added.
"Oh…" Tony looked legitimately stunned. "Okay… Um. Sorry, I guess."
Steve clenched his arms close to his chest and slid through the gap between Tony and the door frame. "Bye, Mr. Stark."
Tony said nothing.
Steve's carpool was nearly ready to leave without him by the time he got down to the parking garage, and he grumbled at their whining and shoved himself in the back of the van next to Sharon. She shot him a look, but he shook it off, turning to look out the window as they trundled back to the office.
There was another meeting for the designers, with a debrief after, and when it was done, Steve went down to the coffee shop in the lobby then made a beeline for the accounting department. He knocked on Sharon's door then slipped into her office, coming in coffee-first so she wouldn't kick him right out again. She took it gratefully.
"Hey, so…" Steve started. Then he stopped. He sipped his coffee. He didn't want to start a thing if there was no thing, but… there was kind of a thing. "You've worked with Stark Industries before, right?"
"Yeah, sort of. I worked with the Maria Stark Foundation and we had some crossover with SI for a while."
"Did you meet Tony Stark at all? Before today, I mean."
Sharon peered over her coffee cup with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, a few times, why?"
"Was he… did he seem… creepy?"
"Creepy?" Sharon's lip curled. "What? No. He was always really nice. He joked around when things got stressful, and he always remembered my name. He was never creepy to me. Was he creepy to you?"
Steve sighed and slumped back in his chair. "Yeah, kind of. He asked me out after the meeting today."
"What?" Sharon almost screeched. She coughed and shuffled closer, dropping into a hissed whisper. "Is that why you were late?"
"Yeah." Thinking back on it was making him feel even worse. "It was weirdly pushy. Like, he wasn't pushy… exactly... but he asked me out like he assumed I would say yes. It was really odd. I thought maybe we'd met before and I'd forgotten, but he asked me my name again. He was just overly familiar, I guess. It was really weird."
"Shit, Steve, I'm sorry. That's really not cool. You should say something to Fury."
"No, no. I don't want to start anything. It wasn't that bad. It just weirded me out a little since I don't get asked out much. I really wasn't expecting it."
"Did you tell him you were holding out for your soulmate?" Sharon smiled in that mildly condescending way most people did when Steve admitted that he didn't date because he was waiting for that one special someone. It was old-fashioned, he knew, not to play around casually while you were still greyscale, but Steve wasn't interested in casual. He wanted that swoop in his stomach, and he wanted the world to explode into colours, and he wanted that to be his first and only relationship.
"No," Steve grumbled. "I just said no. I didn't want him to try and convince me. I don't owe him an explanation."
"I know, I know," Sharon said, soothingly. "At least you won't have to see him again, most likely. We're going to be in weekly drudgery meetings at SI, but there's no way he'll sit in on all of them. He must be so busy."
If only that were true.
Next week, Steve shuffled into the meeting room with everyone else only to find Tony was already there, tucked in a chair in the corner. He hadn't taken off his sunglasses this time, but Steve felt his eyes alight on him as he came in, and he hated the way it made him blush, anxiety flushing through him until he felt like running around the room until he passed out from the inevitable asthma attack.
Tony's intensity vibrated under Steve's skin, and he wished he hadn't had a second coffee this morning. Sharon shot him a look from across the table and a moment later his phone chimed.
I'll walk out with you so you don't get left alone with him.
Bless her. Steve heaved a huge sigh of relief. But as the meeting went on, Steve realized that he didn't have to be left alone with Tony to be deeply uncomfortable. Tony kept shooting him obvious looks throughout the meeting, paying little to no attention to the discussion, and forcing Steve to do the same. He couldn't understand why Tony was so obsessed with him. It didn't make any sense. People didn't even like Steve, let alone crush on him so badly they stayed in a meeting they weren't needed in while they were supposed to be running the damn company.
"So, Sharon, if your team could just go with Martin and discuss that, we'll finish up the zoning conversation and then pack up until next week."
Steve looked on in horror as Sharon was ushered out the door with the reset of the financial team. She shot him a look and mouthed sorry. Steve started discretely stacking his things so he could bolt like a kid at the end of the school day, but when Fury adjourned the meeting, Tony didn't even wait to catch Steve, he went right up to him and trapped him by the window.
"Hey." He twisted his fingers together. "I wanted to apologize for last week."
Steve didn't unclench, but he softened a little. "Okay."
"I just realized I got over-excited and I was pushy and rude, I'm sorry."
Steve nodded and gathered his things up against his chest, a barrier between them. "Okay. Thank you."
"If coffee was too fast we could do something else? I mean it doesn't have to be like a date-date, I just want to get to know you, that's all."
Steve blanched. What the fuck? Tony apologized and then asked him out again? Who did this guy think he was? "Look, I said no, and I meant it, okay? I'm not interested. Sorry."
"Not even as friends…?"
"I don't even know you, Mr. Stark, and you're basically my boss's boss, so I'm not sure why you think we'd work as friends. I have to go, or I'll miss my ride." Steve spun around the corner of the table and bolted.
His heart pounded in his chest and his breath came up short as he motored down to the car. Why did Tony insist on pursuing him, and why did he always make Steve feel so flustered? He hated this. And this project was months long - what if this happened after every meeting? Steve wasn't sure he could take it, but he'd be damned if he let one rich, full of himself asshole chase him out of his only shot at his dream job.
**
To Steve's immense relief, Tony didn't show at the next meeting or the next one. It wasn't until the project had been going on for a month that Steve next saw Tony Stark. Steve stepped in the elevator, nose buried in a file folder, only to look up and realize there was only one other person the car - Tony. It was too late to flee, as the doors closed behind Steve's back, and he shuffled up into the opposite corner, pretending to be even more absorbed in his reading.
"Hey, Steve?" Tony said softly, and Steve flinched then tried to hide it. "Look, I get it, okay, you don't like me, you don't want to get to know me. I don't know if you read something in the papers or - or whatever. Okay. You don't want me. I just - I'm finding this hard to get over, you know? I waited a long time for this, and it's a bit of a blow, so I just - I'm just saying - it'd be nice if you could at least understand where I was coming from. Most people would be excited, that's all."
"Excited to be asked out by you?" Steve snapped back, at the end of his tether. "God, you just can't believe someone would say no, can you? How full of yourself are you?"
Tony winced and curled in on himself a little, picking at the edge of his phone case. "Ouch. Wow. I don't know what you think you know about me - I mean I probably deserve it - but I thought my soulmate would at least give me a chance to redeem myself. I'm not that bad, Steve. All I want is a chance."
Something tilted violently to the side, and Steve grabbed the elevator handrail, wondering if they were about to plummet violently to their deaths before he realized he was the one tilting. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I thought you'd at least give me a chance, that's all. I'm sorry if I was pushy - I just… I've always wanted this.."
"Wait, but you said soulmate. Are you bonded?"
Tony blinked at him like he'd suddenly turned into a technicolour octopus. "What? Yes - I what? I'm bonded… to you… yes. What?"
"What?" Steve echoed, and they both stared at each other. "No you're not."
"Yes… I am - wait. How - what?" Tony waved his hands as if he could push the endlessly repeated word away. "You and me, we're soulmates."
"No we're not." Steve would know. For one thing, the whole world was still in shades of grey, from Tony's shiny leather shoes to the top of his hair. For another, Steve really didn't like him, and you were supposed to love your soulmate.
"Yes, we are. Fury introduced you, and I looked at you, and suddenly everything was brilliant. It's - your eyes are blue," Tony said softly, and Steve's stomach dropped out. That was something your soulmate was supposed to tell you. And now he knew and he'd never be able to get that moment back. Was Tony lying? Or delusional? Or just confused? He swallowed heavily.
"I - but we're not. It must be someone else in the room. I'm still greyscale. I'm not bonded."
Tony shook his head. "It's not someone else. It's you. You're my soulmate. I know it."
The elevator slid open, and they both blinked out at the lobby. Steve debated just taking off for the car and never coming back, quitting his job and moving to another country, but there was something in Tony's eyes - so earnest - and he couldn't let this go. They had to clear this up so Tony could find his real soulmate and stop following Steve around. "Maybe we should get that coffee after all. I think we need to figure this out."
"Okay. Okay. Hold on." Tony dialled his phone. "Yes, Nick? Yes, absolutely. Look, I was talking to your man, Steve, here, and he's got some interesting ideas I want to chuck around a little more. Do you mind if I borrow him for a few hours? I'll send him back in mint condition." Tony laughed. "Oh good. Perfect. Thanks."
"So… I guess we're doing that coffee right now."
Tony winced. "Oops. I'm sorry. I assumed again…"
"No, no, it's okay." It was actually a relief not to have to go back to the office because Steve had no idea how he was supposed to focus on his work after this.
Apparently sensing that this wasn't a conversation either of them wanted to have in public, Tony brought Steve up to his penthouse apartment at the top of the tower and made coffee in a very expensive, very complicated-looking espresso maker. He slid a mug across the kitchen table to Steve then sat down in the chair opposite.
"You're sure it's me?" Steve asked.
"One hundred percent. It was like… it was like realizing you've been right at the peak of a roller coaster your whole life and then suddenly breaking and shooting down the other side." He paused, eyes fixed on his drink. "You - ah - you didn't feel anything?"
Steve shook his head. He had felt something, but it wasn't euphoria, it was terror, anxiety, confusion. "No… sorry. And I'm still greyscale. That clinches it doesn't it? You're not my soulmate."
"But you're mine…" Tony said quietly, his heart breaking audibly.
"I didn't think that was possible." He still wasn't sure it was, but Tony didn't seem like he was lying or confused. It was supposed to be a sure thing when you met your soulmate, and it seemed that it had been, but only for him.
"I didn't either."
They sat in silence, considering that. Steve had never heard of a one-sided bond, ever. But maybe, with all his ailments and illnesses, maybe that part of him was broken too. Tony had bonded with him, but he couldn't bond back. He'd never find love, never see in colour -
"Oh shit, Steve, don't do that." Tony half rose out of his chair and shoved a box of kleenex next to Steve's coffee mug.
Steve snuffled, embarrassed, and pressed a tissue to each cheek. "Sorry."
"No, it's okay. I - uh -" Tony sighed then pulled a tissue out of the box too and squeezed it against his eyes. "This is so messed up."
Steve nodded.
"Fuck, and you must have been so freaked out when I approached you after the first meeting. I assumed you knew we were soulmates too, and I didn't get why you were brushing me off. But looking back and knowing you thought I was just some pushy asshole - shit. I'm really sorry if I freaked you out."
"It's okay, I get it now. I would have thought the same thing. I did think you were being weird, but it makes sense if you just wanted to get to know your soulmate." Steve couldn't help thinking about all the wouldn't haves, but the more he thought about them, the more he realized that in some ways it would be even worse for Tony. He knew who his soulmate was but couldn't have him? That was just as unfair. Steve lifted his eyes from the counter and really let himself take Tony in for the first time, Tony, not as Mr. Stark.
He was older than Steve, but not by a lot, maybe seven or eight years. There was an exhaustion and a manic energy about him, both of which seemed to be warring for territory at all times. His hair stood a bit wild, all the more for being tugged at as he'd brewed their drinks, but it looked soft, like it would feel nice to run your fingers through.
It was impossible not to notice how attractive he was, either; he was famous for being attractive, after all. And now that Steve was up close - and way more personal than he'd ever have expected - he traced the curves of Tony's muscular arms, watched his strong, clever hands tap a beat on the countertop, and couldn't ignore the way his shirt pulled tight across his chest.
And his eyes. They were grey to Steve, of course, but they were so expressive, watching him, wide and brimming with emotion. Steve could see it there, the reflection of what Tony was feeling. It was real to him. This wasn't a trick. Tony had bonded with him, but Steve hadn't bonded back.
He was well within his rights to end it all now, to walk out and tell Tony he never wanted to see him again, but… after all the waiting he'd done himself, he couldn't.
"I - look, maybe we could get to know each other, after all. I don't - I don't want to deny you the chance to get to know your soulmate." Steve's eyes prickled again, and he looked away sharply.
"Oh, Steve…" Tony said, so affectionate already. "You don't have to do that for me. I'll be alright. I'd kind of given up on ever meeting you anyway."
"No, I want to. I always said I wasn't going to date anyone until I met my soulmate, but now it seems like maybe I don't have one. So… I guess, I don't know what I was waiting for. If you really want to go out with me, I'll go. I like you Tony, now that I understand you a bit better, anyway. So yeah, I'd like to go out with you."
"Okay." Tony gave the distinct impression of trying not to bounce in his seat. "If you want to, I mean, I'd love to. So if you'll even give me a chance to be your friend, I'm there. So there."
Steve nodded. "I really should get back to the office though. Give me your phone, I'll give you my number." Tony handed his cell over, and Steve typed his contact information in. "Thanks for the coffee."
"Thanks for not punching me in the balls when I came on to you like a big creeper."
Steve snorted. "You're welcome. You'll call me about our date?"
"I will. Definitely."
"Okay."
Tony walked Steve to the elevator, and they hovered there for a moment. What would it have been like in this moment if they were properly bonded? Would Tony have kissed him? There was an electricity in his eyes that made Steve think he would, and it licked out and crackled against his own skin. Steve pulled away and stepped into the elevator, watching Tony stare after him as the doors closed.
He wasn't even out of the building before his phone buzzed with a text.
>> Thank you.
Steve couldn't help smiling. As twisted and painful as this was, there was something stomach-fluttering about knowing there was someone out there who wanted him. Tony wanted him. Steve had always been worried that his soulmate would be disappointed when they met him, wishing they'd been matched with Brad Pitt or, well, Tony Stark, but Tony seemed nothing but excited and that made all the pain of still being greyscale easier to handle.
<< I just realized how awful it must have been for you to think that I knew and didn't want to have anything to do with you. I'm sorry.
>> Don't be sorry. I'm just glad we know now.
>> Is tomorrow night too soon for our date?
>> Or whatever you want to call it. It doesn't have to be a date.
<< It's a date. And tomorrow night is good for me. I'm usually done work around 5:30.
>> Can I pick you up at 7 then?
<< Sounds good.
Steve grinned down at his phone all the way back to the office. He should be nervous, going on a first date with someone he barely knew, but he was Tony's soulmate, so… Tony was destined to like him, right? Unless one-sided bonds didn't work like that.
Rocking in time with the subway car, Steve typed out a series of internet searches for one-sided bonds, but none of the results had anything to do with what had happened to them. He couldn't find any stories about one-sided bonds, or anyone whose soulmate was soulmates with someone else.
He tried to force himself to focus on his work for the rest of the afternoon, but his mind kept wandering back to Tony. He thought about going to Sharon, telling her what had happened, but it was so weird, he wasn't sure he could face talking about it just yet. Maybe it was better to keep it just between them. If it turned out Steve was a freak for not being able to bond, he didn't want everyone at the office to know - not that Sharon would tell if he asked her not to.
He just… he wanted to get to know Tony and figure out what was going to happen between them before he talked about it. She'd have all the same questions he had, and he didn't know how to answer any of them.
Then again, it wasn't like a single date was going to answer all of them, or any of them, probably.
**
The knock on the door had Steve nearly jumping out of his skin, and he ran across the hall to rip it open. Tony was there, looking even more handsome than he had the other day, dark blazer over a t-shirt and jeans. He grinned at Steve. "Hey."
"Hey. Thanks for picking me up."
"Well, thanks for going on a date with me."
Steve grabbed his wallet and stuffed it in his jeans, following Tony back out to his car. "So where are we going?"
Tony grinned.
Steve found himself getting excited the closer to their destination they got, despite himself. He hadn't been to Coney Island in a long time and it was certainly more fun and interesting than a movie or just going out for dinner.
They both admitted they were hungry, so as soon as they arrived, Tony led the way to a hot dog stand and, laden with food and soda, they wandered along the boardwalk. Tony's shoulder rubbed against Steve's every time he held out the box of curly fries so Steve could pluck one out. He thought it would feel embarrassing, walking side by side with someone tall, and stylish, and gorgeous, but instead it was flattering. People shot them little glances, and Steve preened at the idea that they might be jealous of him.
Tony tipped his chin up to watch a car trundle along the roller coaster track, and Steve's stomach flipped, threatening the hot dog he'd been devouring. "Uh. Just so you know, I'm not great with roller coasters. My best friend from school made me go on the Cyclone once and I threw up after. I've pretty much avoided them since then."
"No problem," Tony said lightly, like it really didn't matter. "Plenty of other things to do here. I'm just happy to spend time with you, Steve."
Steve searched for something to say to that, but nothing would come. He wasn't used to that, to being openly… appreciated. He still found it hard to believe that Tony wasn't disappointed that he'd bonded with Steve.
When they were done eating, Tony tossed the wrappers and gestured towards an arcade with a smile and questioning quirk of his brow.
Tony tried to lead them to the greyscale games, but Steve had spent a lot of time in arcades with Bucky when they were young, and he knew how to differentiate the greys well enough to play most of them, so he dragged him back towards the rest of the cabs.
He preened when Tony was surprised and impressed at the scores he racked up, pouring quarters into the machines and refusing to play himself so he could watch Steve instead. Tony stood close, but he didn't loom, and it felt so inescapably comfortable that Steve found himself smiling up at him between every level. It was weird to get a smile back every time, like Tony didn't want to be anywhere but here, but it was nice too. Eventually, Steve convinced Tony to try and best him at Street Fighter, and before long they were laughing and trying to shove each other off the game with pointy elbows.
"I'm out of quarters," Tony proclaimed after a few hours of playing.
Steve rolled out his wrists. He smirked up at Tony. "Probably all for the best. Not sure you could handle another beating."
"Hey!" Tony shoved at him good-naturedly then tugged him back before he could stumble out into another patron, fingers gripping a handful of Steve's shirt that he didn't release until he was steadied at his side again. "I guess you won fair and square. Hungry?"
It hadn't been long since they ate dinner, but Steve found he was - time had flown in the arcade - and he nodded. They found a funnel cake stand and bought a big one to share with Nutella and bananas on top. It was too precarious to eat and walk so Steve picked a bench by the edge of the fairground and they picked their way through the treat, sharing.
The sun had set, but the park glittered with lights. "What colours are they?" Steve asked around a mouthful of funnel cake and powdered sugar. He almost regretted bringing attention to his greyed out vision, but Tony leaned back and started describing everything in beautiful detail.
Steve knew colour names, of course, and he used a computer program at work to help him pick things for his work, but that wasn't the same as hearing Tony describe their beauty. It made Steve's chest ache with want while simultaneously chuffing that he was the one that gave that to Tony.
A low strain of music cut under Tony's voice, and Steve leaned back to see that a group on the bandstand on the other side of the grass was gearing up to start a set. When they counted into the first song, the music was softened by the distance in a way that made it feel warm and soft and all around them.
Tony was pressed close against Steve's side, but he was rocking and bouncing to the music, jostling Steve on the bench, and he didn't seem aware he was doing it. The lights flashed by the ferris wheel and joyous screams flared up again. Steve popped up to his feet on impulse, and he didn't miss the flash of concern that flitted across Tony's face. But then he held out a hand with a smile and Tony beamed at him, brighter than the roller coaster lights. He let Steve pull him to his feet, then gathered him gently in his arms and they rocked to the music, not really dancing, more like cuddling to the beat.
"It feels really good to be close to you," Tony whispered.
And it was far too soon to feel that way, but Steve felt it too. Tony was warm, wrapped around him, his jacket soft and his chest solid and steadying. He burrowed in a little closer. Part of him wished he'd dated more, so he could be smooth and suave and confident, and also because, well, this was really nice.
"Sorry," Tony added.
"No, don't be sorry. I like this." Steve pressed closer, and Tony shifted them until they were dancing properly now, shuffling in the grass behind the bandstand.
When the song ended, Tony stepped back and the rush of cool air made Steve shiver. Tony frowned. "I should take you home. It's getting late."
"Alright." Steve caught Tony's hand as he turned to go, and they made their way back to the car at a leisurely pace, hand in hand. The warmth of Tony's fingers wrapped around his made Steve's heart skip and stutter. He thought this date would be awkward, but it was easy. Tony was kind and fun and funny, and Steve didn't feel pressured or uncertain. The soulmate issue between them felt like background noise, present but ignorable.
Maybe Steve could make this work. Maybe he could live the rest of his life in shades of grey, never knowing what it felt like to have the joy and fizz of meeting his soulmate, because he'd have Tony. Tony would stay with him, Tony would fall in love with him, because he was Tony's soulmate, and that was how it worked. Right?
The niggling worry that a one-way bond meant things wouldn't be the same for Tony, teased the back of Steve's mind, but he tucked himself under Tony's arm and forced himself to ignore it.
The ride back to Brooklyn was comfortably quiet, Tony's hand snaking over to wind around Steve's every time he caught a break between shifting.
Steve led the way down the hallway of his building, hyper-aware that Tony was following him to his door and he had the choice of inviting him in. He thought he'd better not, but the idea of Tony being there in the morning… it wasn't unappealing - that alone was a surprise.
When they stopped in front of Steve's door, he turned his back to it to say goodbye to Tony and caught Tony staring at him in such open adoration that his breath caught. "Tony…"
Tony wobbled forward like he was going to bring their faces closer together, but then he stilled. "Can I take you out again?" he breathed.
And Steve couldn't help but ask, "Did you - I mean, you had the chance, when you found out I was still greyscale, to pretend you weren't bonded either. You could have just brushed it off."
"Why would I do that?"
"Weren't you - I mean, I get that it's this whole thing with all these feelings, but weren't you a little - uh - disappointed?"
"Disappointed?" Tony's brow crease and he leaned in again, this time nearly pinning Steve back against the door. "Why in god's name would I be disappointed? I mean, I was disappointed that you didn't bond back, but mostly I'm just grateful that you're even giving me the time of day, let alone giving me the chance to try and woo you."
"You're -" Steve gestured towards Tony, the movement cut off by how close Tony was standing "- you." Steve shrugged lamely. "I'm sure I'm not what you envisioned when you fantasized about meeting your soulmate."
"Well, that's true." Tony nodded thoughtfully, and Steve hid his flinch. "At least, not at first. I didn't even realize I was into guys until I was like twenty-two, so there's that. I also never thought you'd be an architect. Don't know why, just never crossed my mind. Always thought I'd end up with a poet or a street performer or something." He snorted. "I don't know why."
"Tony."
"What?"
"I - just -" but Steve cut himself off. This was the moment, when he could let himself fall for Tony, give up on finding his soulmate, or cut him loose. He couldn't string Tony along forever, that wasn't fair. In the end, the decision was surprisingly easy to make, but still - "Just tell me it's not some horrible prank, or a joke, or a bet or something," Steve whispered hoarsely, not able to meet Tony's eyes. "I seriously can't take that Tony, so if you don't really care about me, please, don't -"
"I'm in love with you," Tony said frankly, voice loud and clear, echoing down Steve's hallway. "I thought that was obvious. The soulmate stuff, it sucks, I'll admit it. Never thought it'd only go one way, but if you'll have me at all… I'm so in love with you. I didn't know it could feel like this. Just being around you makes me happy. You're funny and sassy, and so goddamn smart. I love the way you make me feel, like I'm special, but also like I could do to not take myself so seriously all the time. And I love the way you smirk, and the way you dance and… god… Steve, your eyes are so blue…"
Tony tipped forward again, seemingly without realizing it, and this time Steve held his ground, eyes locked on Tony's until they couldn't resist flicking down to his lips.
But when Tony leaned in, he skipped Steve's mouth and brushed a soft kiss to his cheek instead. "Let me do this right," he murmured in Steve's ear. He leaned back. "Can I take you out again? It's okay if you haven't made up your mind yet. I'm not asking for a long-term commitment. All I'm going to keep asking for is one more date. That's all I need to know."
Steve reached out and circled Tony's wrist with his fingers then dropped them down until they wound with Tony's. "Yes, please. I would love to go out with you again." He wanted to say more, like Tony had, because there was something warm and tingling brewing under his skin that wanted to leak out, but he couldn't yet. Their broken bond hung too heavy between them, still. But, wow, it was an amazing feeling, knowing he was loved.
As much as Tony assured him that he needed no promises, Steve couldn't help feeling like this wasn't fair, but he didn't know what to do about it. Before he could say anything else, Tony pulled him in for a quick hug then whispered goodnight and disappeared down the hall.
As soon as he was gone, Steve regretted letting him leave, wanting his warmth and closeness here still, wanting to curl up on the couch together and watch some stupid movie, Tony's arm around his shoulders. Steve shoved his way into his apartment and pushed open the hall window to watch Tony's car disappear down the street.
**
True to his word, Tony texted Steve the next day and asked if he'd go out again on Friday. They went for Korean Barbeque, and Tony showed Steve a whole world of food he'd never tried. Tony smiled at him over the table and Steve swallowed back the fizzing excitement that sprung to life in his stomach.
Over the next three weeks, Tony took Steve out every opportunity they had, and Steve found himself eager for the days to pass so he could see Tony again. They didn't talk about their half-bond or their relationship, and despite holding his hand near constantly, Tony didn't make a move to kiss Steve again.
It was clear that Tony was giving Steve his space, letting him set the trajectory of their relationship. He knew Tony would be okay with being nothing more than friends, but Steve could still feel the heavy thrum of desire that wafted off him whenever they were close. It was comforting, too, to know that Tony could happily wait on Steve. It made it more believable that he was in this for the long haul.
By their ninth date, Steve was starting to itch to make a move himself, but he couldn't quite get up the nerve. When Tony kissed his cheek at the end of the night, hands carefully to himself, Steve balled fists in his pockets to stop himself from pulling Tony in close and never letting him go.
**
It was three days later that for the first time since the SI project started, a meeting ran right until six pm. Fury told everyone they could still get a ride back to the office, but it was up to them since the day was done. Steve had his bag with him already, and he took the subway in anyway, so instead of joining the others, he decided to surprise Tony with a visit.
Vibrating anticipation rumbled through him as he stepped in the elevator. He didn't push a button, but the doors closed. "Mr. Rogers?" the elevator asked him.
"Where is Tony, JARVIS?"
"Mr. Stark is in his workshop."
"Do you think he'll mind if I visit him there?"
"I don't believe he'll mind at all. In fact, I'm certain that he'll be delighted to see you, Sir."
"Oh, good. Take me there, please."
Steve rocked back and forth with the movement of the elevator car as it ascended, fingers twining and untwining. He'd never shown up unannounced, and he wasn't sure if they were there yet. He toyed with his phone, wondering if he should text, but he was only seconds away from appearing so it wouldn't do much good. He had to take JARVIS' word for it that Tony would want him to come up.
"Tony?" Steve inched into the workshop then stopped dead. Tony was working on one of his vintage cars, welding torch out and safety goggles on. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, and he was covered in grease and grime. His hair was wild, like he'd been running his fingers through it, and Steve had to reach out and steady himself on the edge of the worktable next to him. The tools rattled and shook, and Tony looked up sharply.
He pushed the goggles up on his head, making his hair even wilder and peered around the tire to find Steve. His smile bloomed like a sped-up timelapse of a flower greeting the dawn, and Steve's heart stuttered. "Steve? I wasn't expecting you." Tony pulled himself up to his feet and dropped his tools next to the car. His undershirt was peeking out from his t-shirt where it had rucked up, and his jeans were loose, right knee ragged with overuse, and Steve wanted to climb him like a tree.
"Hey," he tried, more squeak than word. "Sorry if it's a bad time."
"Never a bad time for you," Tony said, and Steve believed him. Tony settled in his desk chair, and Steve crossed the workshop carefully to arrive beside him. One of Tony's hands twitched towards him like he wanted to touch, but then it stuttered and snapped back.
For the first time, Steve felt a pain clench in his gut when Tony didn't touch him, like he thought he hadn't earned it yet, or something. But Steve wanted Tony to touch him. It didn't matter if Tony was his soulmate or not; Steve wanted him.
He reached out and caught Tony's hand before it found his keyboard again and wound their fingers together. Tony looked up at him wide-eyed, and Steve let himself be drawn in towards the surprised "o" of his lips. They slotted together like they were made for it, lips meeting, finally, and Steve couldn't help the little gasping moan that slipped out against Tony's mouth.
Tony's other arm wrapped around Steve's waist, and Steve let himself be drawn down into Tony's lap, straddling his hips and tucking his feet up on the legs of the chair. Tony wrapped around him, what felt like from head to toe, and held him tight against his chest as the kiss deepened, warm and secure. Steve's stomach fluttered around, untethered, and electricity crackled under his skin. If he'd known that this was what kissing someone would be like, he might have been less inclined to wait for his soulmate for so long.
When he pulled away, Tony leaned back with a soft huff, eyes closed, then fluttered them open and gazed at Steve with such open adoration he felt like crawling under the desk to keep from drowning in it.
"You sure this is okay?" Tony murmured, eyes flicking back down to Steve's mouth, hungry.
Steve snorted. "I kissed you. Of course it's okay."
"I don't want to pressure you."
Steve stroked his thumb across Tony's cheek, thrilling at the thought that he was free to touch this other person so intimately. This other person who loved him. "You haven't. Not at all. I - I don't care about the soulmate thing anymore, Tony. I want you. I don't care if it's destiny or just luck that we found each other. If you don't mind that I can't bond back, I want to be with you."
Tony bit his lip, looking on the verge of tears. "Yes… god, yes. Thank you." He tipped forward until his forehead hit Steve's chest, and Steve wrapped his arms around Tony's neck, pressing another kiss to the top of his hair. "I love you so much."
"I… I love you too." Could it really happen that fast without a bonding? It was hard to care anymore. It was true.
Tony tipped his head back to smile up at him. "Want to come upstairs? I'll cook us dinner."
Steve grinned. "You'll cook us dinner from that little Italian place down the street?"
"You know it. I'll pull out all the stops for you, baby."
Steve laughed, and Tony scooped him up and stood, awkwardly shoving his phone in his pocket without putting Steve down then carrying him across to the elevator. He set him back on his feet as the elevator rose, and he backed him against the wall to kiss him again. Steve took two fistfuls of Tony's shirt and held him close, sinking into the kiss.
The doors sprung open, but they both ignored it, preferring to stay wrapped around each other a little longer, when a pointedly cleared throat made them spring apart, startled.
A man with a wry smile and curly hair was standing in Tony's kitchen holding a spatula. "Hey."
"Brucie Bear!" Tony flung himself across the space and into the man's arms, sending the spatula skittering across the kitchen floor.
The man laughed, catching Tony and holding him tightly. Steve stood off to the side, shuffling uncertainly. Tony and… Brucie Bear? seemed awfully close, and they hadn't had a chance to talk about exclusivity since Steve had barely been able to accept that they were dating. Was Tony about to introduce Steve to one of his other boyfriends?
But Tony threw an arm around the man's shoulders and drew him over towards Steve. "Steve, this is Bruce. He was my college roommate. Went off and got his MD instead of a PhD like the rest of us cool kids."
Bruce shook his head affectionately. "You didn't feel that way when I was stitching you up again after one of your lab 'accidents.'"
"Harsh." Tony dropped Bruce and reached for Steve's hand instead. "Bruce - this is Steve! I finally met my soulmate." He was practically bouncing. Then he looked at Steve and his brow creased, like he wasn't sure if it was okay to share with other people.
Steve gave Tony's hand a squeeze then offered the other to Bruce. "Nice to meet you."
Bruce shook it. "Wow! Bonded! That's amazing, guys, congratulations. Are you going to have a colour party?"
Tony deflated a little. "Uh, probably not. It's a little… unconventional."
Bruce's brow quirked up.
"I'm Tony's soulmate, but he's not mine," Steve explained. "It's a one-way bond."
"That's not possible," Bruce said instantly.
"I didn't think so, either. But it is. I'm still greyscale."
"No. It's not possible. It's not biologically possible. We've seen cases where it seemed a person had no soulmate at all, but never a one-way bond. It couldn't happen. The biological process is reciprocal. If you couldn't bond, Tony wouldn't either. You've got colours?" Bruce turned to him to ask.
"Your shirt is purple," Tony said proudly.
"Then you're soulmates. It's a bond."
"But Steve's still greyscale," Tony insisted.
"Hmm." Bruce sat down on a stool. "Maybe you're colourblind."
"But then wouldn't I still see red or green or something?" Steve asked.
"Not red-green colourblind, maybe you have achromatopsia."
"What?"
"It's pretty rare, but some people have a condition that means they lack the physical capacity to see colour even after bonding." Bruce looked back and forth between them, brow creased like he was surprised they'd never heard of this. "Your brain shifts to process colour when you bond, but the cones in your eyes don't work so it seems like you're still greyscale."
Tony and Steve blinked at Bruce and then at each other. "I -" Steve spluttered. "What -?"
"It's usually caught pretty young because of the other symptoms, but some of them disappear as you get older."
"I grew up really poor," Steve admitted. "My mom couldn't afford to take me to an eye doctor. I didn't get glasses for the first time until I was eighteen, but I have terrible vision. School was awful. Everyone thought I was crazy for wanting to be an architect, but I made it work."
"Is your vision worse in strong light?" Bruce asked.
"Yes…" Steve shuffled. "Is that not normal?"
"Steve." Bruce leaned closer, voice dropping soft and gentle. "There's no such thing as a one-sided bond. I'm not an optometrist, but I'd say you have Post-Bonding Complete Achromatopsia Type II."
"So I'm still bonded?"
"Absolutely. It only affects your vision. It doesn't change your bond at all."
Steve looked up at Tony, and he could see the hope and joy and pure love that beamed out of him and he could feel it. It was like the last puzzle piece slotting into place and making a picture that wasn't clear before. Suddenly, the fear and apprehension Steve had felt when he and Tony had met eyes for the first time twisted into an entirely new light. The rush of thrumming energy was on the knife edge between anxiety and excitement, the same excitement he felt now when he kissed Tony. If he'd had the context of colours blooming, he might have thought about it differently. "Oh my god," he whispered. "You're my soulmate."
Tony stumbled forward and gathered Steve into his arms, nearly pulling him off his feet. It was too much. Steve had always felt too small for himself, but now he had more feelings than he could possibly contain in his body. It was too much and he thought it might burst, but then Tony buried his face in Steve's hair, and suddenly it was okay again; Tony was taking the overflow.
"I'll leave you guys alone," Bruce said softly, and Tony pulled back with a sniff, arms staying tight around Steve's back.
"Sorry, bud. Weird timing. You can crash here, though. Don't let us kick you out."
"Oh no, it's fine. I've got a hotel room. I was just going to cook for us and catch up, but I'm in town for a few days so call me if you have time. There's a lasagna in the oven for you two." He winked. "Happy bonding."
"Thank you." Steve burst out of Tony's hold and wrapped himself around Bruce instead.
"You're welcome."
Tony pulled Bruce in to press a kiss to his cheek and then he was gone. "I guess we should have thought to ask a doctor sooner, huh?"
Steve shrugged sheepishly. "I guess. I can't believe this…" He reached out and pulled Tony close again. "I did feel something when we met, you know. It was just - it was so confused, because you were looking at me so intently and there were no colours. I thought it was anxiety. But I guess that roller coaster thing you described… it's not that different from panic if you're not a fan of heights." Steve smiled up at Tony, and Tony drew him into a kiss.
"What about now?" Tony murmured against his lips.
"Now it's just love," Steve said.
"I'm sorry you won't get your dream job. I wish I could give you that."
"That's okay." Steve leaned back and stroked his thumb across Tony's cheek, cupping his jaw. "Things rarely work out the way you plan, but sometimes they work out for the better. Besides, you're loaded." Steve winked. "I'll just be a gold digger instead."
Tony lifted him up and deposited him on the counter, slotting in between his legs with a happy hum. "You can dig my gold any day, baby."
Steve laughed and ruffled his fingers through Tony's hair, drawing the soft strands out then releasing them. "I'm still a bit sad about all the things we won't get though. No colour party… I - I can't tell you what colour your eyes are." He frowned. "I guess you already know - mirror."
Tony had stepped away to peek in at the lasagne but he came back now, squeezed both of Steve's thighs. "No, I don't know. Tell me. What are they to you?"
Steve caught Tony's face between his hands. "They're grey." He laughed. "They're warm, soft grey, like - like Sunday mornings where it's a bit cloudy so you just sleep in late because the sun won't wake you. That's what colour your eyes are."
Tony drew him into another hug. "Thank you. I can live with grey eyes, happily, as long as I'm living with you."
"Forever," Steve whispered into Tony's hair.
**
Two Years Later…
A heavy weight landed half on the bed and half on Steve's back, and he groaned and buried his face deeper in the pillow. "Part of the reason I said I didn't want a pet was because of being jumped on early in the morning."
"Well, maybe if I show you that it won't matter either way, you'll agree to getting a dog." Tony's lips pressed against the back of Steve's neck. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."
Steve rolled over, yawned and stretched then blinked up at his soulmate. He broke into a grin. "Thank you."
"Oh wow, you are so old all of a sudden," Tony said, shaking his head at him. "Overnight. Just like that, you've lost the glow of youth. Tragic, really."
Steve snapped a hand up, hooked Tony's neck and pulled him down into a messy first-thing-in-the-morning kiss. Tony sunk into it with a happy hum then pulled back away, vibrating with excitement.
"What?" Steve asked cautiously.
"I got you something."
"I'm not surprised."
"Actually, scratch that, I made you something."
"Oh?" Steve sat up, intrigued. "I hope you didn't put too much time into it, Tony. I told you not to go to too much trouble."
"Oh, I went to a fuckton of trouble, but it was worth it. I hope. If it works."
"What are you talking about?"
Tony pressed his palm to Steve's face for a moment, knocking him back down on the pillows. "Wait here." And then he zipped out of the room.
"Tony -" Steve sighed and stretched again then picked up his phone. He flipped through the happy birthday texts and messages with a growing smile. He couldn't remember a happier one and it had barely started. Every day with Tony felt like that.
The door flew open, and Tony bounced back in and dumped a large, metal case on the bed. The mattress rocked under its weight. "God, I hope this works," Tony muttered under his breath.
"What the - what is that?"
"It's your birthday present. Hopefully. Look, if this doesn't work I'll buy you a boat or something and we'll pretend this never happened."
"Okay…"
"Maybe we should go to the lab…" Tony looked around the room. "Nah, nevermind. This is good. Okay." He cracked open the case and revealed a mess of wires and a headset that looked like his welding goggles with several pieces of electronics attached. "Here." Tony held out the headset, and Steve put it on, more on autopilot than anything, still completely confused. "Okay. Here goes." Tony clicked two wires together then hit a button on the large black box that filled the rest of the case.
Everything popped into brilliant white light, and Steve squeezed his eyes shut and flinched back.
"Sorry. Sorry, sweetheart. Just - just open them."
He opened them.
It was a whole new world.
Their bedroom had exploded into a garden of different colours, so overwhelming, Steve had to blink tears out of his eyes as he gazed around at all the new depth and shape to the space. Tony held out a card, and Steve looked down at it - it was a list of colour names with little coloured smudges next to them. Steve had seen the card before, it was something a lot of people carried in their wallets before they bonded, but he'd never had every dot look different. But now they did. He looked at it for a moment, memorizing, then looked up to Tony and -
And he couldn't look away. It wasn't like seeing him for the first time, it was like seeing him a hundred times, all at once. He was so much in that moment, and Steve reached out wildly and grabbed Tony's hand to steady himself.
"You can see them? See the colours?"
"I can… holy shit."
"Obviously, it's not a convenient system for all the time," Tony babbled, mouth going a mile-a-minute. "But I thought I could at least give you a taste. And I'm going to keep working on them - this is just a prototype - and make them more portable. Maybe, maybe someday it's something I could market, or, if not enough people have the condition, it could at least be something for you. I've been talking to Bruce a lot, and other doctors, and I think I have the nub of it. But it's okay if it's too much or you don't want to ever wear them again. I just wanted you to have it at least once, have what I have. I wanted to give back to you what you gave me."
But Tony had already given him the world. He gave it to Steve every time he smiled or laughed, or pulled him into a soft kiss. He gave him light and colour and beauty when he curled around him at night. He would have happily lived his whole life in greyscale as long as he had Tony by his side. But now, at least, there was something he could give Tony back.
He traced every inch of Tony's face with his eyes, ignoring the patterning on their bed sheet and the vibrant green houseplant in the corner. He stroked Tony's cheek with one thumb and leaned in for a kiss, awkward with the heavy headset on his face. Then he checked the card in his hand one more time, looked up at Tony and smiled.
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you." He took a breath, smiled. "Your eyes are brown."