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“Goodbye! Have a nice Christmas!” Jaemin said when the last kid exited the classroom, his hand in his mother’s.
Well, not really the last kid.
Jaemin turned back inside the classroom, still smiling, and spotted Jisung’s, sitting on the floor and playing with some plastic cars. His smile flattered a little when he noticed the kid’s little pout.
His dad was late again.
It’s not surprising that Jisung was left with Jaemin after classes, not that the teacher minded, he loved the kid. But he couldn’t help feeling a ting in his heart whenever Jisung was looking at his classmates, leaving classes with their parents, when he had to stay here because his dad was still working.
Jaemin didn’t know the whole story. Just the essential: his mom wasn’t around anymore and his dad, was trying his best at work to provide to his son’s needs, which meant often staying late at the office he was working at.
The teacher didn’t blame the poor young man, he knows he’s trying hard. And Jaemin sometimes wished he could help more than just staying at school with Jisung while waiting.
Maybe he had a little spot for this little kid, and that hardworking dad.
“Jisungie.” Jaemin called the kid, who lifted his head to look at his teacher. The pink-haired took one of the little chairs the kids were sitting on during the day and placed it next to Jisung before sitting down on it, watching the little blonde-haired fondly. “What did you ask Santa to bring this year?” The teacher asked.
At the mention of Santa Claus, Jisung’s eyes lit up, and he smiled wide. But his smile quickly faltered, which made Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.
“What’s wrong Jisungie?”
“Nana, do you think I’ve been well-behaved this year?” the four-year-old asked, unsure.
“Of course you’ve been, honey. And you also really worked hard in class. I’m proud of you.” The pink-haired smiled.
At the praise, Jisung responded to his smile.
“Why are you asking me that, though?” Jaemin asked, curious.
“Because…” Jisung fidgeted with his fingers, unsure.
Jaemin stood up from the little chair and sat on the floor instead, next to Jisung. He took one of the kid’s hand in his own and gave it a light squeeze.
“I asked Santa for dad to be with someone he loves again. And then maybe, to have a new mom or another dad.” The four-year-old finally confessed.
Jaemin’s heart clenched at the kid’s words but there was this fond feeling, wrapping his whole body and heart.
And a unrational part of his brain silently wished he could be that person.
“I really hope Santa will give you what you want Jisungie.” Jaemin finally said, winking at the little boy.
“I kind of already have it, though.” Jisung mumbled.
Before Jaemin could ask him to repeat, the teacher heard hurried footsteps coming from the corridor, so he quickly stood up, ready to welcome the newcomer.
In front of his eyes was a raven-haired man, dressed up in a white shirt and black skinny ripped jeans, disheveled hair and tie. His long black coat was hurriedly put on his shoulders.
Jisung’s dad, Jeno Lee.
Jeno sheepishly smiled at the teacher, and Jaemin noticed that one of his hand was fidgeting with one of his pant loop while the other was rubbing his neck.
“Hi, Mr.Na.” the raven-haired said.
“Hello, Jeno.” Jaemin chuckled. “I already told you we can go by first names, we’re the same age anyway.”
Jeno cleared his throat and mumbled an apology. His eyes then settled on the blonde-haired kid, who hadn’t move from his place on the floor even though his dad was finally there.
“Jisungie.” Jaemin called him. “Your dad is there, come on.” He said softly.
“No.” The little boy mumbled.
He then lifted his head to look at his father. The kid’s eyes were teary, and his bottom lip was wobbling. Jaemin’s heart broke at the view but so did Jeno’s.
Jeno took a step further, entering the classroom to come closer to the four-year-old, kneeling to be at eye level with him. Jaemin carefully looked at them.
“Come one, Jisungie.” The raven-haired said softly. “It’s getting late.”
“That’s your fault!” The kid cried. “You’re always late! You’re always working! Why do you have to be always late?”
“I have a lot of work at the office, Jisungie.” Jeno tried to explain. “I tried to get promoted for Christmas, so I-“
Before he could finish his sentence, Jisung violently shook his head from right to left, a sob escaping his lips. His little hands, clenched into tiny fists, came to his eyes, trying to wipe his tears away.
“You don’t love me anyway! You’re going to leave me, just like mom! Mom didn’t love me either.”
Jaemin saw the look of hurt passing through the young dad’s teary eyes before the raven-haired close them firmly. That’s why, before Jeno could answer, Jaemin spoke up.
“That’s not true Jisung. Your dad loves you very much.” He said, softly but at the same time firmly.
Jeno looked up at him, and so did Jisung, whose eyes were still full of tears. The pink-haired knelt in front of the little kid and wiped his tears with his thumbs. He gently smiled at Jeno and then looked at Jisung again.
“Your dad loves you Jisungie. And he’s working really hard to give you the life you deserve.” The teacher explained. “Do you think he would do all of this if he didn’t love you?”
The kid shook his head. It brought a smile to Jaemin’s lips. And from the corner of his eyes, he saw Jeno looking at them, the outline of a smile grazing on his lips.
“How much do you love your dad, Jisung?” Jaemin then asked.
The four-year-old didn’t hesitate to open his arms the widest he could manage. Both adults chuckled tenderly at the view.
“Then, give your dad a big hug.”
With that said, the little kid practically launched himself in his dad’s awaiting arms and wrapped his little arms around the older’s neck. Jaemin watched the scene fondly, catching a glimpse of Jisung muttering an apology as Jeno assured him it was okay, and that one of his hand was rubbing the kid’s back while the other was tenderly placed at the back of his head.
When they parted, Jeno kept the boy in place by catching both his tiny wrists in his hands.
“What can I do for you to forgive me?” he asked the little boy.
Jisung seemed to think for a moment before he looked at his Nana teacher.
“I want Nana to spend Christmas Eve with us.” The four-year-old smiled brightly.
The request startled both his dad and his teacher. Jeno looked at Jaemin worriedly, then back at Jisung.
“Jisungie, maybe Jaemin has other plans-“
“But, uncles Renjun and Hyuck and so Chenle won’t be there because they’re going in China for Christmas! I want Nana to spend Christmas with us. Dad, please.” The kid pouted.
Jeno let out a sigh and turned to Jaemin again, biting on his bottom lip.
“Are you, perhaps, free for Christmas Eve?” the raven-haired asked.
“Actually…” This time it was Jaemin’s turn to rub his neck. “I don’t have anything planned. I usually spend Christmas alone.”
And that wasn’t a lie. He usually spent Christmas with his best friend Mark, but since the older moved in Canada a few years back, Jaemin spent Christmas alone, even though both of them are still in touch. Jaemin would only come back to his parents some years when he managed to find the time and the wish to spend the holidays with his family.
“Then, can Nana come?” Jisung asked, hopeful.
“Only if he’s okay with it, Jisungie.” Jeno warned.
“Why would I refuse, then?” Jaemin sent a wink to the little kid before smiling at Jeno, who smiled back, his eyes turning into crescents as a small blush made his way to his cheeks.
And Jaemin felt warm.
The next day, Jaemin found himself entering inside a busy mall, searching for last minutes presents. He already knew what he would get for Jisung, the kid was always talking about that new superhero color book that came out a few days ago and that he really wanted one.
Now, he had to find something for Jeno.
Jewel? No, they weren’t at that state yet.
Jaemin mentally slapped himself at that thought.
It took him long minutes of thinking before he decided on a bottle of champagne.
A bottle of champagne was always welcomed anyway, right?
Toward the end of the afternoon, Jeno texted him their address, as well as the hour he could come. He then received another text saying: “Jisung can’t wait to see you” which made the teacher smile. Then, another text came: “is it weird if I said I can’t wait either?”. Jaemin squealed. A fourth one: “Omg yes it is.”
This time, Jaemin giggled but shook his head fondly. He replied with a: “it’s not don’t worry, I’m looking forward to it as well.”
He entered the bathroom, to get ready, with a wide smile on his face.
“Nana!” Jisung screamed when he opened the door to reveal the pink hair of his teacher.
A scent of tonight’s dinner, famous Christmas turkey, invaded Jaemin’s nostrils as he stepped inside the apartment.
“Hey, sweet pie.” Jaemin hugged the kid’s shoulders when he encircled the older’s burgundy jeans around his knees. He petted his hair and looked around. “Where’s your dad?”
“In the kitchen.” Jisung answered, untangling himself from Jaemin and taking his hand to lead him to the kitchen. “Come!”.
Following the four-year-old, they both entered the kitchen, where they spotted Jeno, black apron on, over his white shirt, and who was busy pacing back and forth in the little room. He just checked the oven when he spotted his son and Jaemin in the entrance. He straightened up and smile at them. His eyes landed a bit longer on Jaemin, and the pink-haired could feel himself doing the same. They both shot back to reality when they heard Jisung calling for his dad.
“Dad! Can we watch Christmas cartoons while waiting for dinner to be ready?” the kid asked, not perturbed by what just happened between the two older.
“Sure, buddy.” Jeno nodded. “Could you maybe help Jaemin getting rid of his clothes before that? I’m coming in a minute.”
Jisung happily obliged, leading a chuckling Jaemin to the entrance where the coat rack was. Once Jaemin’s coat was hanging, they went back to the living room. The TV was already airing some Christmas cartoons for the kids to wait until Christmas time. Jeno entered the room a mere second after, his apron now forgotten, and a plate of aperitif in hands. Jisung was about to take some when Jeno’s voice stopped him.
“Jisungie.” He warned. “Did you wash your hands?”
The kid shook his head no and then lifted his arms up for his father to hold him. Jeno chuckled but happily lifted the kid in his arms.
“Come on you big baby, let’s wash those dirty hands of yours.” Jeno tickled Jisung at the end of his sentence and the apartment was filled with the kid’s laughter.
Jaemin couldn’t take his eyes and his smile away as he watched them from the entrance of the kitchen, washing their hands as if they were both kids.
During dinner, Jisung insisted that he sat at the end of the table, so that Jaemin was on his left side while Jeno was on his right. The kid always searching for both adults’ attention. Jeno even had to scold him because he was talking with a full mouth and spitting everywhere, while Jaemin just laughed at the kid’s behavior.
Later in the evening, as they were watching another Christmas movie, Jisung, who was sitting between his dad and Jaemin, fell asleep during the middle of the movie. He was curled up on his father’s left side, the older’s arm wrapped around him as Jaemin was stroking his thigh softly.
Both men didn’t realize how domestic the whole scene was. But even if they did, they didn’t tell anything.
When Jeno noticed that Jisung fell asleep, he took a look at his watch and started to slowly untangle his arm from Jisung to lift him up instead. Jisung’s teddy bear fell from his grip but Jaemin was quick to catch it.
“Take him to bed, I’m bringing this.” Jaemin whispered, mentioning at the teddy bear in his hands.
Jeno smiled at him and they carefully made their way to Jisung’s room, which was at the end of the corridor, next to Jeno’s.
Jeno softly and carefully put the four-year old inside the covers, tugging them to his chin. Jaemin then placed the teddy bear next to Jisung, under the cover. As Jaemin was already making his way outside, Jeno pushed a few strands of hair away from the kid’s face and then bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. He stayed bend a few seconds, watching his son’s peaceful face before getting up, exiting the room with Jaemin, the other having seen it all smiling fondly.
Once the bedroom’s door closed behind them, Jeno turned to look at Jaemin again. What happened in the kitchen a few hours ago happened again. They both lost themselves contemplating the other.
“Jisung likes you a lot.” Jeno broke the silence.
Jaemin smiled at that.
“He’s a lovely kid. And his dad is a lovely man as well.”
Jeno could feel himself blush, so he teared his eyes away from Jaemin’s gaze. The pink-haired just chuckled.
They came back to the living room, but before he sat down, Jaemin remembered something. He went to fetch the plastic bag he hid earlier and then came back in the living room. Jeno looked at him confusedly when the teacher put a wrapped gift under the Christmas tree and then handled Jeno a bottle of champagne.
“Merry Christmas.” Jaemin laughed. “A bit early though.”
“Jaemin I don’t-“
“Pscht. My pleasure.”
Jeno sighed but took the bottle.
“Should we open it?” he proposed, grinning.
When they were all settled again, a glass of champagne in hand. Jaemin turned to the other.
“You don’t have to answer but…” he licked his lips. “In Jisung’s school file, it is said that his mother is not around anymore… Why?”
Jeno was silent for a moment before he put his glass on the coffee table. He settled himself, so he was turning to be face to face with Jaemin.
“Jisung’s mom is not around anymore because she’s dead.” Jeno said. He took a deep breath and went on. “Jisung wasn’t… planned. And he’s not biologically mine.” He admitted, sparing a look at Jaemin’s face. The teacher was listening carefully. “We were still young, entering our second year of college. Kids weren’t what we had planned. Well, for me at least. But it still happened. I knew my girlfriend at that time… cheated. I knew he wasn’t mine. I’m not saying I regret having Jisung, he’s my whole world. I don’t know what I’ll do without him now…”
Jaemin put his own glass on the table and took one of Jeno’s hand in his, giving it a light squeeze.
“So, she was pregnant, she told me it was mine, but I just knew it wasn’t the truth, I saw her with that guy anyway. Anyways, she decided to keep him. I broke up with her after she told me, but I said I would be here for her during her pregnancy because that other dude just… disappeared. And I couldn’t just leave like that when… I said I could always help her with the baby, but I won’t be a permanent part of his life. Because… He wasn’t mine, but I just couldn’t let her alone after what we shared, even though we weren’t together anymore… I don’t know. I just couldn’t let her. And maybe I already had a soft spot for this little thing that was growing peacefully.” Jeno chuckled shortly after his rambling and took a deep breath to calm down before he continued. “Pregnancy went…Normal, I guess. It’s when Jisung’s born it all changed.”
“What happened?”
“Jisung’s mom suffered from post-partum depression.” Jeno explained. “It occurs a few weeks after the new born’s birth. Basically, the mother can’t properly take care of her child. She’s in a depressive state and… she just can’t fulfill her motherly role. She wasn’t taking care of Jisung. When it was baby bottle-feeding time she just… Put him on the couch and gave him the baby bottle, like that. He couldn’t eat of course… She was never holding him…” Jeno shook his head. “I dropped my studies, I had to take care of him. I couldn’t…let him.” He locked eyes with Jaemin and squeezed his hand back. “Post-partum depression can lead to child murder, well more like mother-child suicide… I think she thought about it but… She took her own life instead.”
Jaemin’s eyes widened. He kept quiet, he didn’t know what he could say.
“Jeno…” He spoke, softly, squeezing the raven-haired hand tighter. “I’m sorry.”
Jeno simply gave him a tiny smile. A silent way of telling Jaemin it was okay.
“My brother helped me taking care of Jisung for a few months.” The dad continued. “I’m really thankful for that… I… Sometimes I really thought I wouldn’t, couldn’t make it. I searched for a job as soon as I could, I couldn’t rely on my brother forever.”
“So you apply for a job at Neo Tech Office?” Jaemin asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Jeno nodded.
“It’s not the best job. It’s not what I intended to do in the first place but… At least I can provide to Jisung’s needs… but that also means I can’t see him often…”
“You know…” Jaemin moved his hand from Jeno’s to rest it at the base of the raven-haired’s neck instead. “Whatever people can say, you’re doing a wonderful job at raising Jisung. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t ask for something better. I always admired you for that. You can be proud, Jeno.” Jaemin lightly squeezed the older’s neck to make him look at him, to which Jeno obliged. “And never, never hesitate to ask for help when you need it. There’s no shame in that. If… you ever need my help, I’ll be there.”
They locked eyes again, but this time, they were much closer than earlier. They could feel the other’s breath on their face. They both leaned closer, unconsciously.
A sudden noise, coming from Jisung’s bedroom, made them move back. Jeno shot a quick smile to Jaemin before getting up to watch on his son. But before leaving the living room, he turned back, unsure.
“Go check on him.” Jaemin chuckled. “I’ll wait there.”
Jeno nodded, a smile on his face and made his way to Jisung’s bedroom.
When he entered, he spotted the little kid standing near his bed, he must just have gotten out of it. When he heard his father coming inside, he looked at him with innocent deer eyes.
“What are you doing out of the bed baby? It’s late.” Jeno said, tucking Jisung back into his bed, pushing the covers up to his chin.
Jisung grabbed his teddy bear and hugged it close to him as he looked at Jeno, who was kneeling on the floor, elbows resting on the bed to be at eye level with Jisung.
“I thought I heard Santa coming.” Jisung simply explained.
“Santa will only come once you are sleeping, do you remember?” Jeno reminded him, poking his nose.
The little kid the yawned and rubbed his sleepy eyes. The view made Jeno chuckled tenderly. He petted Jisung’s hair softly.
“Go back to sleep, Santa will come later.”
“Is Nana still here?” the kid asked.
“Yes, he is.”
Then, the kid moved closer, as if he wanted to tell his dad a secret. So, Jeno moved a bit closer as well.
“I like Nana a lot, dada.” Jisung confessed. “Do you like teacher Nana?”
“Yeah… I think I like him…” Jeno didn’t see any point in lying. He perfectly knew what all these things he was feeling with Jaemin meant.
“I want Nana to stay.” Jisung mumbled as he drifted back to sleep.
Jeno stayed a long minute, silently watching his sleeping son. The kid’s last words replaying non-stop in his head. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what Jisung meant. He wasn’t talking about tonight only, but more like on a longer term.
And Jeno would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking the same. Jaemin was simply too sweet, not only to Jisung, but to Jeno as well. Seeing how he interact so great with Jisung, or simply the fact of Jaemin being with the both of them felt great, nice, warm.
Like home.
Finally, Jeno laid a tender kiss on the kid’s forehead, whispering a soft ‘I love you’, before returning to the living room, where Jaemin still was, watching the nth Christmas movie of the night on TV.
When he heard him coming back, the pink-haired looked at him and smiled.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Jeno assured. “He thought he heard Santa coming.”
Both men chuckled before a pleasant silence took place. Eventually, Jaemin cleared his throat and stood up after checking his watch.
“It’s getting late.” He said. “I’ll get going.”
“Oh yeah, sure.” Jeno tried to hide the disappointment in his voice as he accompanied Jaemin to the entrance hall.
He wanted the pink-haired to stay, he really wanted him to. But he didn’t know how to ask, so he just watched the teacher getting ready to leave, trying to not show any disappointment in his attitude.
It’s only when Jaemin opened the door and placed one foot into the building hallway that Jeno spoke.
“Jaemin, I…” Jeno abruptly stopped.
Jaemin stopped in his tracks, about to ask the other boy what was going on when his eyes spotted something, above them.
Mistletoe.
Jeno was the first one to clear his throat, rubbing his neck nervously.
“Listen, we’re not obliged to do anything if you don’t want to b-“
As he was rambling, the raven-haired didn’t noticed that the teacher had come closer. It’s only when Jaemin cupped his cheek in one of his hand that Jeno abruptly stopped speaking and finally noticed Jaemin was really close. Jaemin looked at Jeno’s eyes before looking down at his lips and diving on them, closing his eyes.
Even though Jeno froze for a second, he was quick to close his eyes as well to respond to the kiss. Their kiss started slowly, but once Jeno responded back, their lips started moving against each other. Each searching to take control. When Jeno took control over, Jaemin felt himself smiling into the kiss, which made them slowly part away, the pink-haired chasing after the other’s lips.
“Jaemin I –“
The teacher cut him off with a light peck.
“I know.” He said, looking into the other’s eyes. “Me too.”
Jeno didn’t need to say anything, Jaemin could see it in his eyes. He didn’t want to speed up everything. He wanted to take it slow, to make it work.
“Are you…” Jeno searched for the right words before looking at Jaemin again. “Are you sure you want… this?”
Jaemin knew what the raven-haired meant by “this”: Jisung, his life as a single parent. This life he struggled to build up, full of worries, insecurities, loss.
But Jaemin wanted this. He wanted to be in Jeno’s and Jisung’s life.
The pink-haired reassuringly smiled at the other, stroking his cheek with his thumb.
“I want this, Jeno.” The teacher assured.
Jeno looked at him, right in the eyes. And when the raven-haired saw that the teacher wasn’t lying, he smiled. And Jaemin had never seen a smile that beautiful.
Next thing they knew, they were kissing again.
“I think it can count as a Christmas present.” Jeno said when they parted for air.
Jaemin giggled while leaning his forehead on Jeno’s.
They stayed silent for a while, both standing and swinging slowly back and forth in between the apartment and the building hall. It’s Jeno who broke the silence.
“I think I believe in Christmas miracles now.” He softly laughed. “Thank you Nana.”
“Hey, it’s my role to say that!”
They both laughed.
Jeno asked Jaemin if he wanted to stay the night instead of going back home, and because “it was late anyway”. And Jaemin couldn’t say no.
The next morning, when Jisung woke up, it’s to the smell of pancakes and low Christmas music, coming from the TV’s speakers. The kid entered the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his sleepy eyes, his teddy bear hold up tightly against his chest. He spotted his dad, taking out several plates from a cupboard.
“Mewy Christmas, dad.” Jisung said sleepily as he hugged his father’s leg, tightly.
Jeno put the three plates on the kitchen counter and lifted up Jisung in his arms, the kid hiding his face in Jeno’s neck after the raven-haired kissed his cheek.
“Merry Christmas, honey. Did you sleep well?” Jisung nodded against his skin. “I think there’s some presents for you under the Christmas tree, want to check it out?”
At the mention of presents, Jisung hurriedly lifted his head up from his father’s neck, nodding avidly. It made Jeno chuckled as he walked to the living room. The raven-haired put the four-year-old down and watched him open his gifts.
As Jisung was too focused tearing the gift wrap apart, Jeno heard noise coming from the kitchen. He turned around and spotted a mope of pink hair coming with a plate full of pancakes. Jaemin settled it carefully on the table before making his way to Jeno, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. Jeno smiled at him before turning his attention back on Jisung.
“Dad, look! It’s the superhero color book I wanted!” Jisung called him but didn’t look at him, too focused on his color book.
“That’s great baby.” Jeno answered, giving Jaemin a pointed look, who simply shrugged, putting on a innocent face before smirking.
“I think Santa knew I wouldn’t be at my house last night, so he brought it for you here.” Jaemin then spoke for the first time.
It made Jisung whipped is head around, eyes wide as he spotted Jaemin next to Jeno. Without thinking twice, the kid got up and ran to the pink-haired, who lifted him up in his arms, the four-year old wrapping his own around his neck.
“Nana?” Jisung called him.
“Yeah, Jisungie?”
“Are you the present I asked Santa?” he asked.
The question startled Jaemin. Jisung unwrapped his arms from his neck to rest his hands on his shoulders instead. Jeno looked at the both of them by turn.
“What do you mean Jisung?” Jeno asked his son.
“I asked Santa for you to be with someone you love again…” Jisung nervously played with his fingers. “Is Nana my new dad?”
Jeno was loss for words, but the little kid’s confession made his heart melt and he could even feel tears building up in his eyes. He blinked them away and looked at Jaemin, who was also looking at him. They both turned back to Jisung, but it’s Jaemin who spoke.
“Jisungie.” It brought the kid’s attention back on him. “I…” The teacher searched for the right words. “I really like your dad. And I really like you too. But, all of this, it can take a little time for everything to be okay. I want this to be okay. But before everything else, Jisungie, I want to know if you’re okay with it.”
Jisung was silent for a little time, probably trying to understand everything Jaemin just said.
“Jaemin won’t force you to consider him as a dad if it’s not what you want, Jisung.” Jeno added.
At his father’s word, Jisung looked at both of them.
“But I want Nana to be my other dad.”
The statement brought tears to Jaemin’s eyes. Jeno brought a hand to Jisung’s cheek and tenderly pinched it. Before his dad could go away, Jisung wrapped an arm around his father’s neck while he wrapped the other around Jaemin’s, loosely pulling them into a hug.
“I love you dad. I love you Nana.” The little kid mumbled, his voice muffled by both adults’ shoulders.
This time, both of them felt tears building up in their eyes.
“We love you too, Jisungie.” Both men said.
Later during the day, as he was coming back from the bathroom and entering the living-room, Jeno stopped at the entrance of the room. His eyes glued on the scene in front of him, a tender look on his face as his eyes fill with fondness.
And it’s by looking at both Jaemin and Jisung, the kid wrapped up in Jaemin’s arms in the couch as they were watching another Christmas movie, that Jeno thought that, maybe, Christmas miracles do happen sometimes.