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Magnus smiled at his phone as he waited for his boyfriend at the bus stop outside their school. After three years of dating, Alec was finally out to his parents. With this huge burden off his shoulders, Alec finally felt that he was ready to proudly hold Magnus’s hands as they walked through the halls of their high school. Magnus would be lying if he said that the three years were a walk in the park. Dark whispers of his insecurity were the source of most of their fights, especially in the beginning of their relationship. He had thought that getting into a serious relationship with a closeted gay boy in high school would be easy. Magnus sighed as he shook his head. The memory of exactly how reality had come crashing down on him, continued to overwhelm him every time he thought about the milestones they had crossed in their relationship.
He could not hold Alec’s hand in public. Anything more than a brief hug was a huge no for Alec who was already extremely paranoid that his siblings knew his secret. Of course, Izzy and Jace were the best siblings and they never pushed any more than they knew was allowed. When they realised that pretending to be in the dark about Alec’s sexuality while they actually knew the truth was just making their big brother feel anxious around them, they had sat him down and spoken to him about everything. Magnus could not remember a time where Alec had felt more relief at knowing that there was a possibility of being accepted for who his is. Jace had even embarrassed Alec by revealing that everyone knew exactly who Magnus was.
“Alec, I love you and all that but dude, you’re the worst actor I know. You have so much trouble keeping your eyes off of him when he’s in the room with us.” Magnus had laughed, knowing that it was true. It was one of the only things that assured Magnus of Alec’s love when the whispers became a little too loud to ignore. He hugged the blond boy and thanked him for being a brilliant brother.
Another ping on his phone signalled another message from his boyfriend. Magnus’s heart soared at the thought of finally being able to call his Alexander his boyfriend in public. He remembered the terrible fight he had had with Alec a year into their relationship where he thought that Alec should show his commitment to him by coming out. He had nearly done the one thing that he promised that he would never do. He had almost outed Alec in front of his known homophobe of a father. It was a panic attack that almost led to Alec passing out that saved their relationship that would never have survived that kind of betrayal. Alec had woken up in cold sweat in Magnus’s bed, stuttering and feeling overwhelmed from all the guilt. Sweet, kind Alexander who had done nothing but be patient and so utterly lovely. His only fault had been falling in love with such an insecure person like Magnus. Magnus had sat down and finally spoken to Alec about their relationship, about his insecurity and most importantly about Alec still being in the closet. It was this heart to heart talk that taught the boys about the importance of communication in a relationship. It also taught Magnus the importance of coming out. There are millions of reasons for why Alec could not come out then and this talk made him realise that. Alec’s coming out should be about Alec and only Alec not about anyone else. Through that talk, Magnus had the strength to wait.
“Magnus,” Alec called out as he reached the bus stop, effortlessly gaining Magnus’s every attention with his wide smile. He stretched out a hand to Magnus as he stood up from where he was seated,, “Good morning, Magnus.”
Magnus smiled, still slightly emotional from all the memories that he was reliving, “Good morning Alexander… I love you.”
Alec blinked, blushing slightly at Magnus’s open affection. Even after three years, he was not used to the casual way that Magnus made his heart stutter with just three little words. Ducking a little, to hide his tiny smile he adjusted the strap of his bag and shyly mumbled back his reply.
“I love you too, Magnus. Thank you so much for waiting…”
Magnus beamed at him before tugging on his hand, a clear question in his eyes even as he silently comforted Alec that it was alright if he changed his mind about this.
Are you ready? It’s okay if you aren’t.
“I’m ready Magnus. I was just waiting to tell my parents. Robert… made his choice and I’m glad that mom still loves me for who I am. I have mom, Izzy, Jace… and I have you; no one else’s opinion matters to me as long as you never let go of my hand,” Alec said clearly as he took determined strides towards the school doors, “I won’t change my mind about you and I am ready to do this.”
A small smile appeared on Magnus’s face. He had seen the scared boy who had hesitated and stuttered his way through asking him on a date. He had seen the open, carefree boy who let himself be free when he was far away from the prying eyes of the society. He had seen the boy cry in relief when his siblings eased his fear with just a few words and a hug. He had seen him rooted to the ground as his emotions overwhelmed him. Magnus had seen Alec’s face twist with pure anxiousness of the unknown and the complete belief that he was unworthy and a disappointment. He had also seen the baby steps of improvement that his boyfriend had taken. His self-acceptance had taken some time but compared to the Alec who asked him out on a date, this Alec looked so much happier with himself. Magnus could not tear his eyes away from Alec as the feeling of pride filled his heart as he looked into the bright shine in Alec’s eyes.
“You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.”
“Only in good ways, I hope.”
Alec pushed open the doors, just like he had done many times before. His eyes ran over everyone who was in the hallway before he took a deep breath and started walking towards his group of friends gathered in the corner. Uncaring of all the eyes on him and Magnus, he greeted the rest of their friends. Alec took a deep breath. Unlike before, he did not feel that overwhelming need to surrender and hide away from the obviously curious eyes. Magnus squeezed the hand that he was holding in silent support. Coming out was always difficult and as much as anyone could say that they did not care for all the negative comment thrown their way, Magnus knew that those horrid words will slowly break into one’s mind.
“We can leave if you need a moment to just breathe, Alexander,” Magnus whispered; speaking so softly that no one else could hear him over Jace’s and Simon’s bickering.
“I’m okay, Magnus,” Alec smiled, “I just need to get used to all the stares.”
Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec’s waist, in a silent show of support. They were both here after a long time but that does not mean that Alec gets to deal with all this by himself. Just before Isabelle or Clary could speak up and show their support, Catarina bounced over.
“Alec Lightwood! Finally got your head out of your ass, I see, you selfish fucking asshole. You do anything like this to hurt Magnus again and I will have your head for it. You understand me?”
Alec froze just as Magnus did after hearing Catarina’s loud voice boom through the hallway. Magnus’s eyes were practically slits as he glared at the girl he was close enough to call ‘sister’.
“Catarina! Mind your words against my brother,” Isabelle spit out, turning so that she was slightly in front of Alec as though to protect him from more insults.
Catarina rolled her eyes at the Lightwood siblings, clearly noticing how Jace had ceased his conversation with Simon in favour of jumping in to protect his brother. Seeing the beginnings of an argument, Magnus told Clary and Simon to take their respective partners away so that he and Alec may have a quiet conversation with Catarina. Nodding at both Isabelle and Jace, he promised that he would take care of this and make sure that no one insulted Alec, not for this at least.
As the other walked away, Alec glanced up from the floor, “I-”
“Apologise to him, right now,” Magnus spoke lowly. The smile he aimed at the others just now was nowhere to be found. Instead, his words were a low threat as he glared at his friend who surely should know better but since she does not that he would have to educate her right now before she does this to someone else.
“Magnus, stop…” Alec whispered, tugging at his sleeve as he smiled apologetically at Catarina, “I’m okay. I’m alright.”
“No, darling. It is not okay. It’s not okay for me to do it to you and it is definitely not acceptable for a friend of mine to say it to you. Coming out is something you do in your own time, when you’re ready to face the harsh comments that you know will be part of your daily life. Coming out is not something you do just because you’re dating someone who’s out, proud and ready. What would you have done with our roles were reversed, Alexander? If I said it was alright to be called selfish just because I was afraid of losing my parents, siblings and friends? Just because I didn’t think that I was ready to face the homophobic comments and vulgar words that I just know would be headed my way?” Magnus whispered passionately; loud enough for Catarina to hear but also soft enough so that no one else beside Alec and Cat would hear it.
Wide eyed and slightly thrown off my Magnus’s protective words, Alec smiled.
Thank you, Magnus.
Taking his silence and smile as a positive encouragement, Magnus turned to Catarina. He took a deep breath, pushing down his anger and knowing that his friend would understand if he explained politely without screaming at her.
“Cat, do you understand why you… why no one has the right to say that to Alexander?” Magnus asked quietly.
“Magnus,” Catarina flashed an apologetic smile towards Alec before focusing once more on Magnus, “He hurt you. You’ve been together for three years and he hurt you. I am your friend and I have the right to tell him off for hurting you.”
“Yes, you do. If he hurts me but Cat, Alec didn’t hurt me. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date him while he was still in the closet. I should have supported him and made him feel safe. It wasn’t Alec that hurt me, my dear friend. It was my own impatience and insecurity. Yes, it was the situation that fed my darkest thoughts but that wasn’t Alec’s fault. I could have spoken to him about them but I didn’t. When he asked me out I should have thought things through properly and spoke to him about exactly what our relationship would be like but I didn’t. That’s not on him,” Magnus whispered, “Fights happen in relationships Cat, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to call Alec selfish. Not for this.”
Catarina nodded solemnly as she thought about his words, “I understand. I apologise, Alec, I should have known that you weren’t doing this to purposely hurt Magnus. The situation was just like that and as Magnus’s friend I should have supported him. I’m so sorry that I called you selfish, you’re literally the least selfish person I know and I shouldn’t have done that. It is hard for me to blame Magnus for things he does and I guess you were just the easiest to blame. I really should have known better and for that I am truly sorry.”
“I accept your apology, Cat. I am sorry that I hurt Magnus’s feelings and I probably will always feel bad about that but I can tell you that I will do my best to keep him happy, for as long as he’ll have me.”
“Forever, Alexander. You’re my forever,” Magnus smiled adoringly at his boyfriend who even in this situation thought about him before himself.
Catarina smiled at Alec before pulling Magnus into a hug and walking away.
“Thank you, Magnus,” Alec whispered lowly before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Magnus’s in a chaste kiss.
Magnus smiled as they continued on their way to class, already ten minutes late, not that he could bring himself to care about that when he felt like he was walking on sunshine. Three years ago, a shy closeted boy somehow found the courage to ask an openly bisexual boy out on a date. Three years later, both of them held hands as they walked through their school knowing that they had found their one. It had been a difficult road but with every fight, they got closer; with every misunderstanding, they learnt to communicate and with every passing day, they fell more in love.