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Seokjin has always had a knack. Something he never spoke of after his first attempt was utterly ridiculed but his company’s higher up. Lyric writing. He just jumbles words together until they form a coherent sentence that becomes his innermost thoughts and expressions. He remembers the sneer on one of the higher up’s faces. He remembers the harsh words thrown at him that his cut his heart and ripped him apart into nothingness. Words that made him float, words that made him write more and more. He has a special diary, a diary filled with verses that are short recounts of his daily life. He always has an itch under his fingers, always the need to write something. But he was the visual and the sub vocalist. That was his only job. He remembers how that man had talked to him in front of everyone sans his band members because he had asked them to leave, hoping to surprise them with good news. But he was reduced to just a doll, a puppet that night. After that, Seokjin numbed himself down, so much so that nothing affected him. Fights with his members which lead to harsh comments being carelessly thrown around, quickly apologizing to the point where even if it wasn’t his fault, he did. Something that made them even more angry, specially when everyone in the room knew it wasn’t his fault. He once overheard them talking after getting drunk. He was so good that it made the others seem bad when they believed they were not. So he became a bit more of a puppet, all dolled up for his members to make them not feel bad about themselves. Seokjin knew how to blend himself, mold himself into something that he wasn’t, an art that you needed to master if you want to survive as an idol. Seokjin had laughed at the term. Unlike the other members who evolved themselves into a more living form of themselves, he reduced himself into the more animated version for people to play with. And people did. Played with him. Seokjin started to change himself, upgrade himself into a better doll, something like those limited versions. He gave out flying kisses and acted silly, embarrassed himself and cracked dad jokes. People loved it, like they do when they get something new. So Seokjin turned himself into a new doll, controlled by those millions of people out there. His thoughts became robotic, saying the other member’s words with different wording which made it sound different. At the back of his mind, Seokjin knew that this version will have to be upgraded as well but it wasn’t the time yet. People were still loving this version. His members were still feeling at ease with this version. So Seokjin brought minor changes. He changed the way he dressed. He changed the way he presented himself to be showcased in the box. The same doll with different clothes on. Seokjin was busy being the doll that he was told he is. Just that.
A doll.
