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The idea of being a Senior in college wasn’t something Tyler ever pictured himself being, until he somehow made it to that moment when it finally hit him, only a few more months until he was done. Tyler tries to think about where all the time had gone so quickly, like he didn’t know that he spent more than half of his college career shitfaced after the second consecutive night of binge drinking and the many nights he’s lost to making out or hooking up with strangers that he’ll see the next morning and pretend like he didn’t know them. He’s basically the human version of Asher Roth’s “I Love College”. But he doesn’t regret it at all. He doesn’t feel unprepared for the real world in a couple months, and he was able to make memories that spark stories he will be able to tell about his time in college.
On the night before classes were scheduled to start, Tyler splays across the couch in his Fraternity house living room while he swiped left, left, right, left, left, left, left, left, right and right again on Tinder. Tyler had rushed Kappa Sigma his freshman year and was ready to embrace fraternity culture when he was chosen to join Kappa Sigma. Joining a frat wasn’t something that Tyler had planned on doing while he was heading off to Ohio State, but when his first college friend, Jason, had told Tyler about rush week, Tyler was quickly swept up into the idea of joining a fraternity.
Jason, who also pledged to Kappa Sigma, threw himself down into the armchair right by where Tyler’s head rest on the one end of the couch. “Are you ready for the party tonight?” Jason asked, looking over at Tyler who uncomfortably rolled onto his stomach so he could get a better look at his friend.
“So ready,” Tyler replied as he swiped right on a girl with perfect blonde hair that’s a sister of Pi Beta Phi sorority named Jenna. Tyler beamed when he saw that they matched, but, of course, he didn’t message her first. He didn’t want to seem desperate or anything.
“I hope that you don’t have an 8 AM class tomorrow morning, because you will be missing it.” Jason laughs as he cracks the seal on a Coors Light that Tyler is just now noticing he has. He doesn’t say anything though; it was after noon so it was acceptable to start drinking.
“Nah, I just have an intro class at 11:00. Hopefully I’ll wake up for that.” After swiping left for the third time in a row, a guy with bright yellow hair catches Tyler’s eye. Josh. He’s staring at something out of the frame of the picture, but whatever it is was, it was making him laugh. Someone was lucky enough to capture this moment forever. Tyler swipes through the photos, analyzing each one. There was one of him mid-back flip, another of him sat behind a drum set, and the last one was of him holding a puppy like it was a baby. 'I’m actually the dog' is all his bio reads, which actually makes Tyler laugh out loud.
“Hey,” Tyler says to Jason. Once Jason’s attention is on Tyler, he turns his phone so Jason can see the picture of Josh sitting behind the drum set. Jason smiles and takes the phone out of Tyler’s hands so he can swipe through the couple pictures on the profile. “Should I invite him to the party tonight?” Tyler asks, sitting up and leaning over the arm of the couch to maybe get another peak at Josh.
“If you don’t, I will.”
Tyler lets a giggle escape his lips as he flops back down onto the couch and swipes right. It’s only a few a minutes later when Tyler’s phone dings, saying that Josh and him matched.
*
That night at the party, Tyler finds himself staying close to the back of the kitchen where it is a little more open. There had to be at least a hundred people squeezed into the living room where Tyler once laid across the couch, which will probably be destroyed by the end of the night as he’s already seen four people dancing atop it and one guy puke between the cushions. Everyone swayed and bounced out of rhythm to the music that rang through the whole house, if not the neighborhood.
While he watches a couple spill out of the living room and into the kitchen in search of their friends, Tyler pulls his phone out of his jean pocket hoping to see a message from Josh. He sent a message inviting Josh to the party after they had matched earlier that day, but Josh hadn’t answered him. Usually, when Tyler invites his Tinder matches to the Kappa Sigma parties, they would be excited to come by since Kappa Sig was the most exalted frat at the school. Even if Tyler didn’t meet up with them (or hook up with them) they would come out to get smashed and have a good time. So, Tyler was only half expecting Josh to come by tonight, even if they didn’t see each other, but a guy could hope.
Tyler was getting himself another beer from the keg when the fifth Post Malone song in a row starting to fill the air of the house when he sees a pop of yellow walk into the kitchen out of the swarm of bodies in the living room. Tyler smiles as he sees Josh’s head craning to look around the couple of people who sat on the counters. Quickly grabbing a second red cup and filling it with the amber liquid, Tyler makes his way over to Josh.
“You don’t look anything like your pictures.” Tyler comments once he is within steps of Josh as he holds out the cup to him.
“What?” Josh laughs, taking the cup from Tyler’s hands and immediately swigging from it.
“The dog in your pictures, you said you were actually the dog.” Tyler explains, trying his best to not show that he’s already well on his way to being shitfaced. “Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke.”
A smile revealing a perfect set of teeth shows on Josh’s face as the joke finally clicked. “I get it, I’m just not drunk enough for this yet.” Josh says as he takes another sip from the solo cup. “That’s actually my dog, Jim.”
“And you didn’t think to bring him?” Tyler jokes with an accusatory tinge in his voice.
Josh laughs at this. A full, loud laugh. Tyler’s stomach clenches and he takes another sip of the beer. “I didn’t know my invitation included a plus one.”
Tyler rolls his eyes and scoffs loudly. “Dogs are always invited.”
“I don’t think this is the best environment for a dog to be in,” Josh answers, gesturing behind them to the room full of drunk and high college students.
“Well, I’m here aren’t I?” Tyler smiles, looking up at the highlighter yellow haired man standing before him.
“Ha, is that supposed to be a joke, too?”
Tyler meekly shrugs one shoulder and smiles smugly. “Do you want something else?” Tyler asks, pointing to the already empty cup in Josh’s hand.
Josh looks into the cup before he nods his head.
Tyler smiles, taking Josh’s hand and leading him through the growing number of people in the kitchen back to a pantry closet just around the corner from the kitchen. At first, it looked like a normal pantry with cereal boxes and unopened bottles of juice lining the shelves, which made Josh knit his eyebrows together. Josh watches as Tyler pulls aside one of the tall metal racks to reveal a small door with a lock on it. “We don’t like to pull these out during parties because they’re expensive and they’ll go too fast, but I think I can trust you to keep a secret.” Tyler quickly and skillfully picks the lock and pulls the door open.
Behind it are about ten bottles of different alcohols. Vodka, rum, tequila and whiskey all in this small secretive closet. Josh smiles wide as he kneels beside the stranger frat boy. “Choose what you like.” Tyler offers as he pulls out a bottle of Cîroc for himself. Josh analyzes the other bottles in the cabinet and finally decides on a bottle of tequila with a name he isn’t familiar with.
Tyler smiles and shuts the cabinet, locking it back up.
*
“Oh my god!” Tyler hollers, tilting his head back so he’s looking up at the dark night sky, his vision blurring long before this moment. “You can not seriously think that pineapple is okay to put on pizza.”
Josh laughs, leaning over in the lawn chair on the deck outside that he and Tyler had somehow made their way to. “It’s not okay, it’s the single most greatest decision any one person has ever made in like the history of anything ever!”
Tyler groans and rubs his hands across his face. “That’s actually disgusting.”
“Okay, but what about this: is a hot dog a sandwich?” Josh asks, placing a hand on Tyler’s knee.
“Fuck no,” Tyler slurs, looking back at Josh, who has to be just as far gone as Tyler is right now.
“What?” Josh yells, slightly standing from his chair before falling back into it. “If it isn’t a sandwich, then what is it?”
Tyler doesn’t answer for a minute, he just let’s his eyes linger on Josh while he thinks about how bad he wants to kiss him right now. “A taco.” Tyler finally exhales.
Josh laughs again, but louder this time. Tyler’s stomach clenches again, but this time he feels like he might throw up. “It’s not a fucking taco.” Josh claims, leaning back in the chair and taking another sip from his cup. Tyler can’t even remember where his cup is right now.
“Let’s make a bet.” Tyler pipes up, holding a finger out in Josh’s direction. “We are going to ask five people if a hot dog is a sandwich or a taco to prove who’s right. If more people agree with me, you have to kiss me.”
“And when more people agree with me,” Josh smiles. “You have to admit that a hot dog is a sandwich and that you’re wrong about pineapple on pizza.”
“Ugh,” Tyler groans before nodding his head. “Fine.”
The pair slowly stand to their feet, Tyler swaying a bit more than Josh does, and make their way back towards the party that is still raging. Upon entering, Tyler instantly sees Jason standing in a corner next to the girl with the blonde hair Tyler vaguely remembers seeing on Tinder that afternoon. Jennifer? Whatever Tyler thinks to himself as he calls out Jason’s name and pulls Josh in the direction of them.
Jason smiles as he sees Tyler stumble over towards him with Josh right behind him. “You hanging in there, buddy?: Jason laughs, clapping Tyler on the shoulder.
“No time for niceties,” Tyler pushes Jason’s hand away. “Is a hot dog a sandwich or a taco?” Tyler takes another step towards Jason and puts his hand up to his mouth like he’s telling Jason a secret, but he forgets to whisper. “Say a taco, I really want to kiss this guy.”
“It’s a taco.” Jason simply states. Tyler beams and looks back over at Josh. Josh shakes his head and goes to say something about how Tyler just cheated, but instead he turns to the girl by Jason’s side and asks her.
“It’s a sandwich, for sure.” She agrees with Josh.
“Fuck you, Jessica.” Tyler spits before going off to find more unsuspecting party goers.
A half an hour later and probably way more than five people asked, Tyler turns to Josh as they stand in the living room. “I think I won.”
Josh scoffs and shakes his head. “No way you won. I definitely won.”
Tyler’s head rolls back and he stomps his foot look a toddler who didn’t get his way. “Pineapple pizza is gross and you’re wrong about the hot dogs.” Tyler whines.
Josh smiles, and in one quick motion, he takes Tyler’s waist in his hands, pulls him closer and connects their lips. Tyler takes a second of being caught off guard before he reciprocates the kiss, wrapping his arms around Josh’s neck. As their mouths move slightly out of rhythm with one another, Tyler runs his tongue along Josh’s lower lip, causing Josh to smile against the kiss and pull Tyler closer, deepening the kiss.
Tyler moves his hands and tangles his finger in Josh’s curly yellow locks. At one point or another, Tyler notices the music had stopped and it was only the two of them in the room now. He focuses on how Josh’s lips move against his own and he tries to remember the last time he had a kiss that was passionate like this one. Josh squeezes Tyler’s waist gently before breaking their lips apart. Tyler opens his eyes and sees that they’re not alone and the music is still playing, everything else had just slipped away in that moment.
Josh presses their foreheads together and smiles, his lips shining in the colored lights of the room. “Is there somewhere we can go that’s more private?”
Tyler smiles wide and leads Josh up the winding staircase to the second floor of the house.
*
An obnoxious ringing goes off somewhere in the room, causing Tyler to awaken from his drunken slumber. Rolling onto his bare back, Tyler stares at the ceiling thinking about the party last night and Josh and how they had sex. He remembers the way it felt to be held in Josh’s arms after they were done and the way he quickly fell asleep listening to the beating of Josh’s heart in his chest. Tyler looks over to the other side of the bed to find it totally empty. Not entirely surprised, but Tyler does feel a pang of loneliness as he rubs the sheets where Josh once lay.
Finally the hangover finally catches up with Tyler and he closes his eyes, trying to get the phone to stop ringing with his mind so he didn’t have to get up. After a couple seconds of this not working, Tyler slowly sits up in the bed, lets the room stop spinning before he gets up to turn the phone off. He finds it in the pocket of his pants and reads the alarm label: Social Psych 101 in an hour. Tyler sighs, turning the ear piercing ringer off before tossing the phone onto his bed. He pulls out some random clothes out of his closet before making his way to the bathroom.
Making it to class with just two minutes to spare, Tyler quickly finds an open seat in the middle of a row somewhere among the middle of the lecture hall. It wasn’t a big lecture hall like some other classes, but it was definitely big enough for Tyler’s face to get lost in the sea of other students.
As Tyler pulls out his laptop out of his bag, he thinks to himself how this class will hopefully be an easy A so he can worry more about his other classes that actual matter for his major. Also, he doesn’t want to have a stressful senior year; he wants to simply skate by and graduate in May, and a small part of him wants a Monday morning class that isn’t too challenging so coming in hungover won’t be a problem.
The thoughts of having a stress free senior year are long forgotten as Tyler watches a man with curly, highlighter yellow hair leave a seat from the front row and stand on the stage.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, Tyler’s mind races as he watches the same Josh he slept with last night begin to clip the small microphone that was placed on the podium to his too-tight-fitting button up shirt. Tyler nervously rolls his pen in between his index and middle finger and he thinks that maybe he’ll just leave as Josh pulls out a piece of paper from a folder.
“Alright,” Josh speaks, his voice a lot deeper than Tyler remembers it being last night. “I’m Joshua Dun, but you can just call me Josh. I’ll be your TA for this section of Introduction to Social Psychology. Dr. Ray is running a bit late and he’s asked me to go through the roll for him.”
Tyler has to hold himself back from verbally groaning. Tyler can feel the eyes of the girls by his side staring into him, probably thinking that Tyler has to use the bathroom with the way that he is squirming around uncomfortably in his seat. Finally, he decides to pull the hood of his hoodie up over his eyes and slide down as far as he can in the seat without slipping to the floor. It doesn’t even occur to Tyler that this is a lot more awkward than it would be for him to just raise his hand when his name is called like nothing is wrong.
Josh gets to the J section of the attendance list way too soon. “Sarah Jordan?” Josh calls out, his eyes scanning the room until a hand pops up out of the crowd. Tyler watches in horror as Josh looks back to the paper and reads the next name. “Tyler Joseph?”
Tyler slides down a smidgen more before he raises his hand for half a second and turns his head down to the floor, hoping that Josh doesn’t recognize him. There is a long pause before the next name is called. Tyler has to fight the feeling of throwing up, unsure if it’s from his hang over or embarrassment.
The hour and a half class drags on once the roll was called and the professor finally showed up so he could go over his expectations, the syllabus and announce that there will be a syllabus quiz posted online after class for everyone to do by the next class. Tyler doesn’t remember anything after that--he’s surprised he even remembered that much of the class. Tyler spent the whole class period on his laptop looking for other classes to take in place of this one. He didn’t think he could come to class everyday without getting a hard on for his TA at least once a week.
Tyler hurriedly puts the laptop back in his bag when the professor dismisses class and dashes out of the room before anyone else. Tyler weaves in and out of people in the hallway to make a quick escape out of the building. Once outside, Tyler turns a corner and leans against the brick building, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Why would this happen to him?
He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, bringing him back to the world. He fishes the device out of his pants and reads the message on his screen.
Josh from Tinder sent you a message!
Without thinking twice, Tyler double taps the banner and waits for the app to load the message. His stomach twisted in knots as he watches the red circle spin around and around. A small version of the picture of Josh laughing at something off camera placed by the side of his name in the top corner of the screen serves as a reminder to Tyler how beautiful Josh is. Tyler almost pukes all over his phone when the message finally loads.
Don’t worry, I won’t let you fail this class ;)
Tyler quickly deleted the app.