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Longing stares. That was Yasmin’s speciality. Watching lovingly, just hoping they stared back. They never usually did, Yaz seemed to have little luck with the ladies…and men. Mostly people in general. Yet in this case, it was aliens.
Her last boyfriend (or even relationship) was in secondary school, Danny Biswas, year ten. Yaz had to agree with Ryan when he was confused about why she was with him, he was pretty gross.
But she liked him.
Maybe because he was the only guy that would go out with her after one of her ‘friends’ outed her to the entire school and he found her bisexuality ‘hot’. A friend she had trusted when she went to her crying about how confused she was and how wrong she felt. A friend that had stuck with her since they were infants. A friend that said there was nothing wrong with her and it’s okay if it does turn out to be a phase, and that it’s also okay if it isn’t.
Yaz just shuddered at the memory and was thankful that her parents weren’t majorly bothered by her sexuality anymore, like sure she had, had her fair share of chats about how it was going against her religion in year ten. But after her mum and dad realised it probably wasn’t a phase, they loosened up. Which even included her mum trying to find her a girlfriend, but Yaz could tell she mainly wanted her to have a boyfriend.
That’s why, she assumes at least, her mum seemed more excited about how close she was with Ryan and more sceptical with how close she was with the Doctor.
That’s why Yasmin stuck to longing stares. Only one person hurt from longing stares, and that was her.
The one thing she didn’t know is that other people noticed them as well.
“Yaz,” Ryan signalled to her to come with him down one of Tardis’ many corridors. “I need to talk to you about something.” He stated simply as he waited for Yaz to walk towards him, her face scrunched in confusion and followed him into his room.
“So, what’s this about then?” Yaz asked sitting down on the sofa in his room. Ryan joined her and chuckled lightly.
“You liking the Doctor.” He started, a slight touch of teasing in his voice.
Yaz immediately blew up, “What! No! I don’t, I don’t know where you got that from, that’s unbelievable. God, can’t two women be friends. Can’t I, a bisexual woman, have friends who are women!”
Ryan raised his hand as if to motion that he was going to continue speaking, “Yeah, course you can have friends Yaz. That’s not what I mean, I’m just saying, you stare at the Doctor. Like, a lot. And I don’t care if you like her or not, I just thought you could do with some tips. You have like no game, at all mate. It gets kinda sad.”
Yaz sat with her jaw-slacked in shock. Ignoring his last few comments, she breathed deeply. “Fine, what tips?”
He sat up straighter and practically bounced in his seat like this was his main area of expertise, “Just stop staring at her, Yaz. It gets kinda weird, you just staring at her. Wanting her like stare back or whatever. Just talk to her like a normal human being.”
“Easier said than done, that is.” Yaz said, kicking her feet along the fluffy, grey rug that Ryan wouldn’t stop gushing about when the Tardis provided it.
Ryan groaned, “You are unbelievable, talk to her you useless lesbian. I swear to god if you remind me that you’re bi, I’m gonna tell the Doctor myself that you like her.”
Yaz rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, just talk to her. Make her laugh. Maybe even tell her a few terrible pick up lines. She’s probably a sucker for those. I have a few good ones that you could use if you ever need any.” He winked at her causing her to roll her eyes again, harder this time.
Yaz stood up and pulled Ryan into a hug, “Thanks, Ryan.”
“Don’t worry about it, now go out there and get yourself an alien girlfriend.”
Yasmin Khan had never kissed a girl before, she always blamed it on the limited numbers of gay and bisexual women in her part of Sheffield. Really, it was just because she was scared of talking to girls.
She gets easily flustered, okay!
So her striding up to the Doctor inside the console room tinkering on the custard cream dispenser to let her dispense more than one at once, was quite frankly, nerve-wracking.
“Hey!” Yaz croaked out, the Doctor sat up and smashed her forehead on the dispenser sending custard creams flying. “Oh my god, Doctor! Are you okay?” She suddenly knelt down to look at the Doctor properly.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” She blinked a few times before picking up a biscuit, brushing it off, shrugging, then biting into it. Yaz helped the Time Lord to her feet and stood awkwardly rocking on the balls of her feet.
“So what did you want to do?” The Doctor asked excitedly, or as excitedly as someone could after having whacked their head.
“I think you should lay down, Doctor.”
Thirteen swipes at Yaz’s comforting hand, “Nonsense, I’m fine!”
Seconds later, she fainted.
“Of course, of course she did. Ryan! Come help me drag the Doctor to her sofa!”
Ryan poked his head and walked over and grabbed the Doctors left arm, leaning her onto his side. “What did you do to her? Profess your love?” He asked enthusiastically.
“Ha ha. No. I said hi to her and she hit her head on the custard cream dispenser and fainted when she stood up.” She grabbed the Doctors other arm and draped it over her head, wrapping her arm around her waist to support the taller woman. She totally wasn’t focusing on how the Doctor smelt like oil and stale biscuits.
They walked her over to the corner of the console room and laid her down on the purple sofa there.
“I’ll wait for her to wake up.”
“Of course, you will.” Ryan winked again and walked out back to his room Yaz assumed.
Yaz sat down on the floor to watch the Doctor’s movements. Her breathing even and chest beating mismatched due to her hearts. Yaz still couldn’t get over that. Hearts. Like multiple.
She shook her head at herself and smiled. She pushed a few strands of hair that were on the Doctors face away and curled it round her ear, grazing her fingers gently along the earring she’d expertly found in the charity shop.
“Yasmin, what are you doing?” Graham asked softly, walking in with an empty mug. Yaz pulled her hand back quickly like she was caught with her hand in the Doctors biscuit jar. (The Doctor got mad when someone was stealing her biscuits, Yaz remembered when Graham tried to take a few for his tea and she ranted at him for a good ten minutes about laws on stealing on different planets)
“Hey, don’t worry. I know as well, I was the one that proposed the idea of Ryan talking to you. Thought you two youths would be able to reach an agreement of a good way for you to ask the Doc out.”
“I can’t be that obvious, can I?” Yaz asked, spinning to face Graham leaning against one of the large crystal blocks.
“You are. But the Doc seems oblivious enough that she doesn’t notice you staring at her. You should just tell her how you feel.”
Yaz looked at Graham carefully, “I don’t know, she’s just got such an exciting life and I’m only a police officer. That’s a lie, I’m not even an officer.” She hid her face in her hands sighing loudly and Graham looked down at her sympathetically.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but the Doc likes you back.” He took a step toward Yaz and placed a hand delicately on her shoulder to comfort his new friend.
She smiled up at him, “Thanks, Graham.”
“Don’t worry about it, now when she wakes up you best tell her how you feel!” He said excitedly and walked off into the Tardis kitchen whistling a made up tune.
Yaz stayed leant on the sofa playing games on her phone, sensing any movements from the Doctor on the sofa and eagerly checking her to see if she was awake. Her heart was beating faster than usual around her, and her hands were sweatier. She wiped them on her trousers quickly as she felt the sofa shift.
The last time she liked someone this much was two years ago in Sixth Form. This girl, Niamh White, was Yaz’s only friend throughout the entire experience. She was in all her classes and seemed to actually enjoy her company. And of course, Yaz developed a massive crush on her.
Classic one there, Khan.
The Doctor awoke shortly after, “Hey, how you feeling?” Yaz asked.
“Yeah, I’m good. Good nap that was, I see why you guys like sleep so much.” Thirteen yawned and sat up, patting the seat next to her. Yasmin climbed up the sofa to sit next to the Doctor.
She took a deep breath.
Now or never, Khan. You got this.
“So, during my nap I had this incredible dream of this planet filled with pup-“ Yaz cut off her incessant rambling.
“DoctorIjustwanttoletyouknowthatIlikeyou.” Yaz paused to take a breath and stared at the floor.
The Doctor blinked a few times before scrunching her face together, “What?”
She stared at her companion, watching her face contort with emotion. “Doctor, I want to let you know that I like you.” Her eyes remained trained at the floor and her fingers knotted together.
“Awh, Yasmin! I like you too!” The Doctor cooed, wrapping her arm around Yaz’s shoulders.
Yaz shook her head and looked at the Doctor, “No. Like, I like you like you.” The Doctors face remained confused, “Like I always want to be near you. I want to keep exploring space and time together. My entire life on Earth was routinely, I’d wake up, go to work, not be challenged, come back home and then repeat. It’d get so boring but this, this is unpredictable and I love it and I love spending time with you.”
The arm securely around Yaz’s shoulders snaked back down, “But it’s dangerous.”
“I know.”
“I can’t guarantee you’ll be safe.”
“I know, Doctor.”
The Doctor nodded and placed her hand on Yaz’s cheek, feeling the deep blush grow, warming her hand instantly. Yaz leant into the touch and she could’ve sworn she saw the Doctor lean in close. So, she did also.
She finally closed the distance between them and kissed the Doctor with as much passion as she had built up out of those longing stares and hopeless crushes on girls that’ll never be reciprocated. And damn, the Doctor kissed back.
They finally broke apart and the Doctor pressed her forehead against Yaz’s.
“You sure you want to do this, Yasmin Khan? You can still back out.” The tremor in her voice and the slight crack at the end cemented Yaz’s answer.
“Of course I am, Doctor. I’m here with you, always.”