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The First
The first time they kissed, they were undercover so it shouldn’t count. But it did, at least in Top’s head. He couldn’t get his mind to cooperate and stop thinking about it in those ridiculous terms. It was not their first kiss. Just a kiss.
The difference would lead him nowhere good.
Still, he kept coming back to it. Top tried not to take too much pleasure in pretending to be together. Every other time they had paired off under cover of a romantic relationship, Jaz had been so quick to shake it off, leaving him as soon as they were anywhere even approaching clear. This time, they were mid-op, out in the open in place within a public square in Vienna. He’d used the excuse of planting a kiss on her forehead to get a quick look around.
But then Jaz was tilting her head back, looking up at him with those big, wide open eyes. He’d seen that moment in her, of letting herself be valued, letting herself be so integral to his side that a distracted moment of lips to her skin was inevitable. She’d let herself believe it and he couldn’t take it back, seeing that moment cross features usually held so tight.
His head was dipping down before he’d known it and she was still looking up, pressing up on tiptoe to meet him. The kiss could have been Mr. and Mrs. Daltrio, could have been one more move solidifying their need for covert verisimilitude. But her mouth opened beneath his and the little sigh that came out was all Jaz. Frustrated - with herself, with the situation. Giving in even while fighting. God that made him dip his tongue right into her, he just couldn’t help it.
Until he could. Because he was her boss, her CO, her lead on this op.
So it wouldn’t count as their first kiss. Especially not when they both left it out of their banter and their recap with the guys. It would just be a part of Vienna that visited Adam when he was least likely to need the reminder.
~~~~~~
The Second
He couldn’t believe he had to admit it: their second kiss was on a dare. Not his - no one on the team would have dared. He might agree to play ridiculous drinking games, but they all knew he wouldn’t cross that line.
Now Jaz, though. Elijah knew he could skirt way too many lines with her. Top might have been buzzed, but Elijah and Jaz had started shots as soon as they cleared their AARs.
“Go ahead, Jazzycat. Give your cap’n a kiss.” Elijah leveled it at her with the kind of twinkle in his eye that either meant this was all in jest or that he knew exactly what he was doing. Possibly both. “Or you could, you know. Switch to truthtelling.”
If he hadn’t been drinking just enough to lower his defenses, he might have found a way out that saved face - for all three of them. Instead, his peripheral nervous system took in the hush that had fallen on McG and Preach as their self-preservation instincts kept them each still. Jaz rolled up from her spot leaning up against the couch and she half-shuffled, half-crawled over in front of him.
Top wasn’t making any sudden movements, either. In his mind, he was dying to see what Jaz would do, whether her mouth would taste as sweetly surprised at him as their first kiss. Last kiss. Vienna. Even as he knew he should be coming up with a way out of this, his body tried to make himself appear open, calm. Welcoming.
Jaz plopped herself on knees straddling the one leg out in front of him. Her left hand came up between them, index finger extended until it brushed a bit clumsily over his beard and found his lips. “I got a dare, Top.”
“Yeah, I heard something about that.”
She shuffled forward, leaning in closer.
“Gotta kiss you, kay?”
“Yeah, that’s okay, Jaz.”
“Sure you make a good show of it…” Jaz breathed into his mouth. Top leaned forward just the slightest bit, just enough to make contact easier. Rubbed his open mouth over hers, back and forth and back again. Pulled back enough to look her in the eyes when he asked, “Just a show, Jazzy?”
He wasn’t sure she was sober enough to catch his drift. Those dark eyes widened though and she was rubbing her mouth side to side when she returned. Then she was swallowing his breath, deepening the kiss, her tongue snaking out to trace its way inside his lower lip.
Oh. Not just a show.
The cheers rang out before he could do much else besides let her kiss into him. One deep, gliding pull. His mouth chased hers when she leaned back, a delayed reaction to the sound.
“I won.” She declared to no one.
Then it was all giggles and teasing and back to the game. “Yeah, you always get your shot.” Top was torn between reaching for his own shots to catch up and excusing himself from the continued revelries. He never could tear himself away from this growing fascination, though, with seeing what Jaz would do next.
~~~~~~
The Third
Top knew immediately that he was going to be ashamed of their third kiss. He’d been wanting it too badly, taking it out and playing with the idea of it. Like a kid with a crush he was sure was leading nowhere, he had to shove that want away.
Otherwise, he’d do stupid shit like this:
They’d been butting heads the entire op, arguing about tactics, timing, and who got to know what, when. She didn’t trust Amir. He got that, understood why. Hell, he didn’t even blame her, not really. Just needed her to trust his call for one goddamn second so they could save this fucking kid and, oh yeah, their teammate’s life, too.
“You took my fucking shot!” She’d said that then, too. Right after he took out her mark.
The grin at his memory of how heated she’d been, lying there stretched out next to him. Knowing there was nothing she could do about it til they were back on base. He loved the challenge of her, how he knew exactly how to press her buttons but never what would happen when he did. “Yeah, that is what happened,” he drawled. Smirk and a puff to his cheeks, he was sure.
“Are you - you’re flirting with me? Over a, a scope and a rifle!?”
She was half-mad, all shocked, and not entirely off-base. It was the arguing, he just couldn’t help it when she pushed him sometimes. He had to push back.
The conceding bob of his head and his arms out to the side. Top couldn’t get the confession out in words, but then she was pressing into his front and he didn’t need words. Didn’t need them at all because she was pressing the quickest kiss into him, so quick he didn’t even have time to close his arms around her before she was stepping back, wagging her finger threateningly in his direction.
“You leave my marks out of it next time - got that, Top?” The sternness was serious, absolutely. She meant it - she didn’t want him crossing lines where there was nothing but confusion to be had. It was bad for the team. Bad for her.
Seemed to cover an awful bit of acceptance of the flirting, though. Didn’t even question how it had wormed its way into the foundation of their give and take on mission.
Fuck. That had crossed a line. Not the kissing, that was...without intent. Sometimes. Avoidable, if need be.
But Jasmine fucking Kahn thought it was okay her commanding officer used flirting to keep her in line. He would never forgive himself for that.
~~~~~
And One Time He Kissed Her
Adam hated his birthday. Hated it. Everyone talked about how glad they were for his existence and he was, too. He was glad to be alive, to have a birthday he could celebrate.
But sometimes. When he was little. Not everyone had made that easy.
It had taken Xander years to convince Adam he didn’t have a low-key death wish. He didn’t. He knew that now. Trusted it.
And he had Preach leading the annual celebrations in a fit of misdirection, backing him up when he gave them a random date to help him enjoy being alive. It was just - easier that way.
Except. Preach and Xander, hell even Patricia these days, all had him wondering whether he might want something else. Something more.
Because Jaz kept finding reasons to kiss him and he kept letting her and if that wasn’t a sign he was almost really alive, he didn’t know what was.
So.
The knock on her door was quiet, yet insistent. Top, then.
“Come on in.” She was ready for bed, but one last check in never hurt. This had become a semi-routine of theirs: a quiet moment before hitting the sack, borrowing a book or a movie rec, or just sharing some last thought of the day.
He joined her, shutting the door behind him. Uh oh. Not just a quick check in, then.
“It’s July.”
Hmmm. Cryptic Top. “It is.”
“It’s July and, specifically, the 23rd and I want you to know.”
“Top?”
He shook his head lightly. “Adam.”
That she could do. “Adam. What do you want me to know?” All intrigued and ready for action, for whatever came next. She knew she’d find him, he’d let her.
“It’s my birthday.” So softly it took her a moment to understand. By then he was walking over to where she stood, right up into her space. She was looking at him like he’d taken a weight off her shoulders when, really, it was the other way around. And when he wrapped his hands around the small of her back and kissed her, she opened right up for him. Like they’d been kissing for years.
“Happy birthday, Adam.”
Mmmhmmph, he mumbled into her. Happy was one word for it.