Work Text:
Viktor had discovered early on in their relationship that Phichit, as Yuuri’s best friend, was a veritable gold mine of funny pictures, embarrassing moments and all sorts of Yuuri Katsuki trivia. He knew Yuuri was not very enthusiastic about some of the details of his life that Phichit disclosed, but the Japanese skater had a long history with his Thai friend and knew how futile it would be to ask him to keep some things to himself.
Viktor and Yuuri decided to throw a party to celebrate their buying a new, bigger apartment. At some point the discussion turned to attractive people and self-confidence, and later, to facetious name-calling and baiting.
“But! There is one person who is absolutely gorgeous and still seems to have no clue!” Phichit observed.
“Katsuki.” It was Chris’ boyfriend Masumi, and he sounded very certain.
“Bingo. Yuuri is hopelessly unaware, in fact I think if you were to look in a dictionary his picture would be next to the word oblivious. I have a whole collection of pictures with Yuuri and people fawning over him without him ever noticing.”
“Sounds interesting. Let’s see those pictures!” To everyone’s surprise it was Otabek who made this demand. The Kazakh usually refused to be dragged into this type of discussion, but even he, it seemed, could be curious at times. Or maybe he knew Yurio would be but wouldn’t ever let on that he wanted to see Phichit’s pictures.
All interested parties gathered around Phichit to get a glimpse of the pictures he pulled up on his phone screen. Yuuri himself and Viktor were nowhere to be seen.
“So, um, this is Yuuri at our favourite coffee shop in Detroit. Check out the barista in the background.”
“He looks like he’s had an epiphany”, Chris commented.
“Oh, he did. Yuuri dropped his laptop bag just a minute before I took the picture. I thought the poor man’s eyes were going to fall out of his head when he bent to pick it up from the floor. I’d say if he wasn’t out before, this was his gay awakening. Or something.”
“And Yuuri never noticed?” Guang Hong said in disbelief.
“Nope. Nada. We came in almost every day, and the poor sod tried his best, he checked up on how Yuuri spelled his name, gave him free cookies, and finally wrote his number on the cup.”
“What happened?”
“That was the day Yuuri spotted a cute dog outside the shop, and left his cup and ran out to pet the dog without even tasting his coffee. The barista was crushed. He retreated to the kitchen and didn’t come back out. Next week there was a new guy working his shifts, so I dunno, maybe he quit? Or switched shifts so he wouldn’t have to torment himself anymore.” Phichit sounded a bit annoyed that he didn’t have the full story on it.
“Now this, this is an interesting one. I took it at our home rink in Detroit. You will note that Yuuri has been training, he looks a bit sweaty and all. Do you all see the Zamboni in the background?” An affirmative chorus let Phichit know everyone was on board for this one.
“Ok, so if you look close, you can see the driver of the Zamboni looking at Yuuri. He couldn’t take his eyes off him, so next thing we knew, he’d crashed the machine into the boards.”
“You idiot, why didn’t you get a picture of that?” Yurio shook his head.
“I was laughing too much, couldn’t hold the phone still long enough. I tried, but the pictures were too blurred.”
Yurio harrumphed. “Not much of an excuse. Couldn’t you have held off laughing until after you got photo evidence?”
“Sorry Yurio. This is a picture I took at Four Continents a year ago. Now here’s someone you might actually know. You see Yuuri getting off the ice after warm-up. You recognise the skater in the background I assume?”
“That’s Minami! Oh my god, that’s so adorable! If that look doesn’t spell hero worship, I don’t know what does!” Chris gushed. Masumi nodded in approval.
“Yes, that would be about right. He didn’t actually do anything really embarrassing here, no more than he always does.”
“How many of these pictures do you have? And does Katsuki know you have them?” Otabek raised an eyebrow at Phichit.
“I have loads of them. Loads. And he hasn’t seen more than a couple of them. I keep them for future needs, blackmail and such. Now, this one’s great! I took it at the Detroit rink just before practise. Yuuri had his skates on but we had to wait until the hockey team were done on the ice. I wanted to take a picture of him before he went on, but he had laced his skates in a hurry, and the knot slipped, so he needed to retie it. He bent over just by the gate and fixed the knot, and two of the guys in the hockey team collided with each other because they weren’t looking where they were going. As you can see, Yuuri looks as unaware as ever, and the hockey players are picking themselves off the ice, while their coach is yelling at them.”
“Oh Yuuri!” Chris sounded fond, almost avuncular.
“Yes, he’s something else. The last picture is the best really. What do you think?” Phichit brandished his phone, an excited grin on his face.
“Katsuki looks oblivious as always. Wait, is that Vitya in the background? Where is that taken, is it at the onsen?” Yurio sounded suspicious.
“Mmm, yes. I had to promise Yuuri I would only photograph him above the waist. You’ll notice I gave Viktor no such guarantees…”
“He’s staring at Katsudon’s ass, isn’t he? That’s why he’s… in that state. Ugh, I really didn’t need to see that, can’t unsee it either.”
“Speaking of Viktor and Yuuri, where have they gone? They’re the hosts, shouldn’t they be entertaining their guests?” Chris whined.
Phichit grinned. “I’m fairly sure I saw them slip out before we started looking at pictures. They’ll be back in a while, probably looking a little mussed and very happy. I’ll just post a couple of these pictures on Insta, or maybe all of them, what do you say, is it hashtag oblivious or maybe hashtag awkward as fuck?”
In the guest bathroom, in that exact same second, Yuuri straightened up and Viktor’s cock slid out of his mouth.
“That’s weird. I just felt absolutely cold, like someone walked over my grave.”