Work Text:
“Run away with me.”
Jim cards his hands through Spock’s hair, a faint shake to his gentle touch. His breath catches in his throat as Spock stills under his hands. Slowly, Spock lifts his head up from the crook of Jim’s shoulder and stares at him with wide eyes. “What?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable.
“Run away with me,” Jim repeats, brushing Spock’s bangs away from his face. He stills his still shaking hand by pressing it against Spock’s cheek, hoping the Vulcan will feel his sincerity and anxiety through the simple touch. “Come back with me. To Starfleet.”
Something flickers in Spock’s’ eyes, but it is too brief for Jim to name.
Jim pushes himself up until he’s sitting and takes Spock’s hands into his own. “I know we’ve only known each other for a short time,” he says, “but I can’t help feel that there’s something waiting for us.” He swallows and brushes his thumb against Spock’s. “I keep thinking about leaving, but it’s impossible. I can’t leave without you.”
“And you can’t stay here,” Spock says quietly, voicing what Jim had left unsaid.
Jim nods, his throat thick and his eyes stinging. “No, I can’t stay here, Spock,” he says as his heart breaks. “But neither can you.” He’s fumbling for reasons now, his eloquently practiced words leaving him now.
“Spock,” Jim says, grabbing the Vulcan’s face with both his hands now. “Spock, I’m not trying to tie you down. I’m not trying to, to make you mine.” His voice breaks. “I’m just saying that there’s something waiting for us out there, in the stars. Run away with me. Come find it with me.”
He can’t feel his heart anymore, not as Spock watches him with that unnamed emotion burning behind his eyes again. He feels like the world is ending because if Spock says no--if Spock stays here--Jim knows he’ll have lost something important to the universe.
Jim strokes Spock’s cheek as he feels the tears that have gathered in his eyes spill over. Wordlessly, Spock brushes the tears away from Jim’s face as his face lights up with his special not-smile.
“Lead the way, ashayam.”