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If you had asked Kurt Hummel at sixteen if happiness was attainable he'd probably just give you a bitter laugh, roll his eyes and walk away. But at 36, Kurt Hummel was happy. After several years of on-again-off-again relationship drama, he and Blaine had married in a small civil ceremony about five years earlier. Blaine was a successful lawyer who had landed a position as Assistant District Attorney in Manhattan only a year earlier. And after years of near-failure, Kurt was finally gaining some success and recognition as a fashion designer. He'd done two dresses and a suit for the last Academy Awards, as well as Rachel Berry's dress when she'd been nominated for a Tony award, and pop star Tina C.'s gown when she won her Grammy. Of course, Jenny was the highlight of Kurt's happiness. Three years earlier, Kurt and Blaine had adopted their first child from an orphanage in Kazakhstan. They'd named her Jennifer Kate, Kate for Kurt's mother and Jennifer for Blaine's grandmother.
Jenny was nearly five now, and the light of her fathers' lives. She had her Grandpa Burt wrapped around her finger, and her Uncle Finn equally devoted. Although Jenny was slightly developmentally-delayed, she wasn't stupid. She loved to color and paint, and to play dress-up, and her brown eyes always sparkled when she got to play with her cousins. Unfortunately since her Uncle Finn, and Blaine's two sisters and brother all lived in different places, that was not nearly enough in Jenny's opinion.
They all ate dinner together. After dinner was bath-time, story-time and then bedtime. Blaine—known to Jenny as Daddy—read most of the stories, while Kurt—otherwise known as Papa—brushed and braided her hair. Daddy did most of the reading because he did all the voices. One particular night they were reading The Paper-Bag Princess while Kurt put french-braid pigtails into Jenny's hair. Blaine finished the book, they kissed her goodnight and turned off the light. Her nite-lite was a shiny gold star that her Auntie Rachel gave her when her Dads brought her home from Kazakhstan. They'd been told at the orphanage that Jenny was afraid of the dark, and each of their friends had given Jenny a nite-lite. They had enough to keep one or two plugged in in every room of their large, New York City apartment.
After they finished tucking Jenny in for bed, Blaine and Kurt headed back out to the kitchen where Kurt fixed them up a snack while Blaine poured them a couple glasses of wine, before they moved into the living room where Kurt turned on the TV and they snuggled together on the couch. They flipped the channels around for a while until they stopped when they saw Katie Couric. They used to watch Barbara Walters in the evenings, but unfortunately their favorite female journalist had retired when she turned ninety.
“Tonight, I have with me in the studio professional hockey player David Karofsky. David Karofsky is the star center forward for the Buffalo Sabres. This is your last year with the Sabres, isn't it, David?”
“Yes, Katie,” the man said, with a smile. “I'm retiring from playing at the end of the season. I'm hoping to move to coaching.”
“Isn't that the bully who tortured you in high school?” Blaine asked, narrowing his eyes at the man on the television.
“Yes. He's the one you encouraged me to stand up to sophomore year. Wow, he got good-looking,” Kurt observed. “I never saw that one coming. I thought he'd have lost his hair by now.”
“Do you want to change the channel?” Blaine asked. “I know he's the center of a lot of your bad memories.”
“I'm okay, babe. High school was a long time ago. Besides, maybe he's finally coming out,” Kurt suggested.
“Big interview like this? I'm sure of it. He's either coming out, or announcing he took steroids or something,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt a little close with one arm while holding his wine glass in the other.
“So. David, while your desire to coach professional hockey is fascinating, I'm curious as to the real reason you agreed to this interview tonight,” Katie opened.
“Well, Katie, after a long discussion with my partner, I decided it was time for me to say, publicly, that I'm gay.”
“Took you long enough,” Kurt said, talking over Katie's reply.
“Some people take time. And if he's in a relationship, he's probably pretty comfortable with himself now. But it's incredibly hard to be out and be an athlete,” Blaine said.
“I know,” Kurt said. “I guess I'm still a little bitter. I don't want to wish him ill, but seriously, he couldn't have come out 20 years ago, and not checked me into the lockers every day?”
“Let's listen to the interview,” Blaine suggested.
“—part of me always knew, even back in high school. But I didn't really say it out loud to myself until I was in college. I came out to my family and close friends when I was a senior in college. But after I graduated, and was drafted to play professional hockey, I thought it best to keep it to myself. I've always been a fan of keeping one's sex life in the bedroom, so it didn't really feel like denial to me, I just didn't talk about it.”
“How did your family take the news?” Katie asked.
“Honestly? Not very well. My father had always raised us all with a very heteronormative outlook on life, and he never kept his homophobia a secret. My mother and sister were able to accept me within a few weeks. But it actually took my father about three years before he was willing to sit down and talk to me. Our relationship is strong again now, but it took a lot of work,” Karofsky said.
“You mentioned your partner before,” Katie said.
“Yes, Ricky. He's right over there, actually,” Karofsky smiled and pointed, and the camera spun around to show a tall, thin man in a pink striped dress shirt and black pants.
“Where did you meat Ricky?” Katie asked
“We met at the Rochester Pride parade, in Rochester, NY about ten years ago, when I was still playing for the Amerks. We hit it off right away. We've been together ever since.”
“David—”
“Dave, please.”
“Dave. What made you decide to come out now?”
“Well, as I'm sure you are aware, last week a gay high school football player was bludgeoned to death by his teammates. This is not okay. High school should be a time of self discovery, when you should be free to express yourself without fear.”
Kurt snorted. “Self-discovery? I thought high school was a time for shoving gay kids into lockers and dumpsters.”
“Were you bullied a lot in high school?” Katie asked.
“No.” Karofsky took a deep breath, as a sad look flitted across his face. “I was a bully. I was a horrible bully, and it's my biggest regret in life.”
“Really?” Katie asked, a surprised look on her face.
“Yes. You see, there was this boy, Kurt Hummel—”
At his place on his sofa, wrapped around his husband, Kurt let out a loud gasp. Blaine squeezed his husband's arm gently, as they both listened quietly.
“Not Kurt Hummel the fashion designer,” Katie said skeptically.
“The very same Kurt Hummel,” Karofsky admitted. “Hummel was incredibly confident. He knew he was gay, and he never tried to hide it. He was so brave, and I envied him. I even had a crush on him. But instead of being honest with him, or myself, I was, well, I was a monster. It started with the slushies.”
“Slushies?” Katie Couric asks, confused. “The frozen drink?
“Yeah. We had an incredibly moronic school tradition. The jocks and popular kids would buy slushies and bring them to school. Then we'd throw them in the faces of the unpopular people. Getting slushied was the ultimate humiliation at McKinley, because you'd have to walk around all day with bright stains on your shirt, and everyone would know. But that's just where it started. I was cruel to Kurt Hummel. I pushed him into the lockers every time I saw him in the hallway. I know I hurt him. He'd be black and blue, and at least once I broke two of his ribs. He was smaller and not as strong as me, so sometimes I would pick him up and throw him in a trashcan or a dumpster. Once I locked him in a porta-potty and flipped it over. I was violent and cruel every day, and to this day I still hate myself for it. Almost as much as I hate the faculty for letting it happen.” Dave Karofsky was talking about his past horrors with pain on his face. Kurt was curled up tightly, his husband's arms around him as he practically shook from the memories. He couldn't believe that Dave Karofsky had tears in his eyes talking about Kurt Hummel.
“They just let the bullying happen? “ Katie asked shocked.
“Yes. I know this was twenty years ago, but from what I understand it still happens. All of the teachers, including the Glee Club teacher—who in a complete side-note is the same man that Tina C. thanked in her Grammy speech—knew that I was being physically abusive, and they simply told Hummel to 'just deal with it.' I guess that hearing about this latest gay bashing just pushed me over the edge. I had nothing to do with this boy's death directly, but I still feel guilty about it, knowing I was part of a horrible abuse cycle. The violence needs to end.” Karofsky stopped talking for a moment, before taking a huge breath and the turning his face to stare directly into the camera.
“Kurt, I don't know if you're watching, hopefully somebody will tweet this to you later. I am so sorry for everything I put you through. You had to deal with daily torture, just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I had a crush on you, that I was gay. If I had a time machine I would go back to middle school and knock some sense into myself. I'd like to thank you for being so strong. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Blaine didn't watch the rest of the interview. He was too busy rubbing gentle circles on his husband's back. This was a lot to take in. Kurt's iPhone was vibrating nonstop on the table as people texted, tweeted, facebooked and called him to talk about Karofsky's interview.
“I know it's been twenty years,” Blaine started, “But did you finally hear what you needed to hear?”
“Yeah,” Kurt said, the barest hint of a smile forming on his lips. “I did.”
*End*