Chapter Text
Mingyu allows the steam from his breath to hit his face but the heat is doing nothing much to relieve him from the negative five degrees celsius killer temperature in Korea this time of year.
He looks past the public vehicle's glass, overlooking the city. It's getting pretty dark so the lights from towering posts illuminate the view of falling snow outside the window. It gives the usual white flakes a hazy blanket of faint yellow glow and it makes them look warm despite their nature. He stares at them as if he was on tour and it was an attraction he was afraid of missing if he as much as close his eyes in the slightest. He likes how they look as weightless as cotton, and he ponders on what it feels like to be snow.
People have thought about being reincarnated as a bird or as a flower or as a butterfly, but how many others have considered living a new life as snow? Of course, it wouldn't be the most practical choice (not as if we really have the liberty to decide how we're going to live in another life, if there actually exists one).
No matter how mundane it may sound, Mingyu is all about living his life to the fullest. Being snow doesn't sit too well with him. He knows that a lot of people purposely cross oceans just to experience a white Christmas. He honestly likes the idea that waiting for winter to approach makes them excited but he thinks (read: overthinks) that maybe snow has been waiting to see the world just as much as people have.
Mingyu was born in spring so he isn't too fond of winter but he thinks that if he were snow, he would be in storms—all whining winds and messy falls and fearless rains. Snow is nice but Mingyu would be the kind that is flawed, the kind people dread, the kind that would keep people indoors, whereas the boy who steps inside the platform at the absolutely perfect time he thinks he’s starting to think negatively about snow is the absolute opposite.
Mingyu isn't an expert at this but he knows that if the boy were one, he would be in drizzles—with his porcelain skin and graceful movements and serene beauty. Snow would be nicer than it already is, and the subject of Mingyu's sudden interest proves just that.
He scans the almost full bus while Mingyu’s gaze never left his face. Good thing Mingyu was quick to withdraw his eyes when the boy spots the empty seat beside his then proceeds to settle down next to him.
Mingyu has fought so hard not to freeze until this boy suddenly makes him very aware of how much colder it is when his body goes rigid. All he did was walk into the bus but Mingyu knows that the boy is to blame for how he is reacting.
One moment winter is nothing and it’s suddenly everything the next, because the boy who makes Mingyu’s fingers tremble just by sitting there seems like the kind of snow that is flawless, the kind that would make people stop in the middle of a busy street so they can stare at him when he first falls because they waited for him all year, and when he's already on the palm of their hands, they would watch him with a frown on their faces when they think of him slowly slipping through the cracks of their fingers as a new season comes. He's the kind of snow people would want to keep forever but couldn't because nothing is ever permanent.
Mingyu wills himself to keep his eyes straight ahead but the same thing runs around his mind in circles so when the boy asks him a question, he stares. Dumbly.
"Sorry?"
"Uh.. I was asking if you liked flowers or reading.”
Mingyu isn’t one to judge but he wouldn’t have thought of him as someone who likes to talk, especially to a stranger, but Mingyu always had bad intuition so he washes every prejudice he has of him, except for one—that he’s really, really beautiful.
The boy points at the book that rests unmindful on Mingyu's lap and Mingyu has to make a double take to see what exactly he’s pertaining to. The cover reads The Language of Flowers and it gets Mingyu frowning. He pauses for a second before giving out a cautious nod.
The thing about hanahaki disease is that it forces you to choose a side, no in betweens. You either choose yourself or choose the one you love, even knowing full well that the latter would only bring you harm. Happiness doesn't seem to come with either.
It's animal instinct to get away at the first sign of danger so if Mingyu had to make a choice, he would choose himself. He doesn't think it's selfish. In a world as cruel as this one, getting hurt is inevitable so you have to choose where it will hurt a little less but not everyone thinks like he does. Mingyu recalls the look on his friend's face when Mingyu tried to convince him to get the flowers out of his heart. It had pained him to see how his friend’s body slowly withered as the flowers continued blooming inside of him.
"But I don't want to forget," his friend had said. Mingyu doesn't try to ask again but he could never understand why anyone would want to remember something as painful.
It physically hurts Mingyu just thinking about it so when the boy tells him it's such a shame that something so beautiful could be so deadly, he flinches.
The boy notices, and the calmness that has itself wrapped around him crumbles into one of panic and regret. "Are you– Do you–"
He stumbles in his words so he doesn't get to finish. Mingyu saves him from the anxiety when he answers, "No, not me. Just someone I know."
The boy nods in understanding. He releases a sigh that says thank god, but it's also one that says i'm sorry.
Thank god it's not you. I'm sorry it has to be someone you know. I'm sorry it has to happen to anyone at all, he probably wants to say.
Mingyu understands.
A part of him still hopes it’s just something fictional, that doctors and researchers have made a mistake about it, but saying these words to someone makes everything much more real, and it hurts so much more now that the tiny bit of chance he has kept in the crevices of his heart drowns in his blood and shoots right up his head. It forces him to close his eyes at the onslaught of headache that makes him see white, and for a brief second he feels a warm hand on his shoulder and the faintest are you okay?
It takes him the last of his energy to push down the mix of worry and heartbreak that rises in his chest while the boy counts in succession to help him breathe.
It is when he feels the light brush of their clothed hands, when the boy’s touch reflects a ray of sunbeam through Mingyu's gloves and onto his skin that Mingyu thinks he's a lot more like the sun, because unlike winter and snow, this boy is warm. He makes Mingyu feel warm.
When Mingyu’s breathing finally evens out, the other boy moves and a gap settles between them again, Mingyu suddenly feels a bit colder than he ever did.
They talk about anything and everything to momentarily forget about what just happened. Mingyu learns that the boy’s name is Wonwoo and that Wonwoo is a year older so he asks if he can call him hyung. Wonwoo tells him that Mingyu is a nice name and that yes, Mingyu is free to call him hyung, and jokes that he wouldn't need to anymore when they get closer. Mingyu doesn't voice out that he likes the idea of growing closer to Wonwoo.
He also learns that Wonwoo's family just moved into the neighborhood a week ago and that he's going to the same university as Mingyu.
"I'm taking film,"
Just by looking at Wonwoo, people would probably think he is someone whom the camera loves. An actor, perhaps, or a model.
But Wonwoo's eyes are of midnight skies and something about the way he talks about his passion for films makes stars shine in them.
"I like children," Mingyu starts and he feels like he doesn't want it to end.
But it does, approximately three minutes, two stoplights, and one smile from Wonwoo later when Wonwoo says it's his stop.
Mingyu's mind goes into overdrive. He wants to do a hundred different things all at the same time. He wants to hold Wonwoo's hand to feel his warmth. He wants to get Wonwoo's number so he can talk to him like this one more time. He wants to get up and see Wonwoo off. He wants to ask Wonwoo if he's ever going to see him again.
He does neither of these. Instead, he thinks of a whole garden and imagines how Wonwoo would fit right in, brighter and more colorful than any other species.
Flowers need sunlight to grow, but it is during one winter night that a seed is planted in Mingyu's heart and Wonwoo happens to radiate the light of a thousand suns.
It’s two days away from Christmas eve and everyone seems to have chosen this particular day to do their last minute shopping, including Mingyu who thought people would have been done getting their holiday needs by this time.
He watches people pacing from different directions—a middle aged woman running to get what happens to be the last portion of beef in the fridge (Mingyu looks away because he doesn’t want to see the possible disappointment on her face if she gets to it a little too late), a boy in his college sweatshirt holding a six-pack canned beer (Mingyu thinks he won’t be going home for the holidays and hopes he at least has friends to drink those with), and in the near distance, Mingyu’s gaze follows a girl with poorly done braids and eyes that have Mingyu feeling like he’s looking into his own.
She’s confused and panicked as she scans the mass of people around her, but only for a few seconds because a cheeky smile paints her face like sunrise peeking through the twilight-covered skies when she spots Mingyu, his towering height sticking out in the packed crowd.
Mingyu smiles back, that small curve never fading even when she reaches his side. She makes her way between busy bodies and carefully drops the pack of glutinous rice in the shopping basket Mingyu’s holding.
All Mingyu initially planned to get for everyone is something just ready to be wrapped, so he found it absolutely endearing when his sister told him about wanting to cook something for their parents as a surprise. And if there's anything Mingyu loves just as much as he does his sister and parents, it would be cooking.
“Good job not crying back there, Minseo,” it sounds teasing but Mingyu couldn’t be more proud. He remembers losing a younger version of his sister in the middle of a mob such as this. Their father found her later and Mingyu couldn't be more thankful to see her even with dry tears staining her cheeks. He hugged her so tight and swore to himself that he’ll never leave her side again. (He leaves out the part where he starts tearing up too).
“Good job not crying back here, oppa,” she shoots back in the same teasing tone. Mingyu sighs and asks himself why he even tried.
Sometimes he wishes his sister never grew up; wishes she stays three years old so she could tell Mingyu she loves him without breaking any of his things prior; so he could tease her about being a crybaby without her retaliating. He feels like watching his own child grow. They grow up so fast, as what they say.
He sets the basket down to full on tackle his sister, locking her head in his arms while tickling her sides. She squeaks, which makes a few heads turn to watch the chaos that is Kim Mingyu and Kim Minseo.
Together they are one unstoppable force, except something seems to make Mingyu weak.
"Mingyu?” It’s the same abyss of a voice—deep and has Mingyu trapped (and he honestly doesn't want to be saved if you ask him)—from a week ago. It was a casual call of his name but it rings in his ears with urgency.
Mingyu’s throat is dry and his name rolls out of Wonwoo’s tongue like it's the first sign of water in the middle of a desert; it makes something inside of him feel so alive.
He releases Minseo in a flash so they can both look at Wonwoo; Mingyu, with familiarity and maybe a little bit of longing; Minseo, with intrigue as she shifts gazes from Wonwoo to Mingyu and back to Wonwoo.
"Wonwoo hyung…” Mingyu wants to reach out just to see if he’s real. He looks around and he’s still just someone in the crowd so he wonders how powerful his luck is to have Wonwoo find him. It’s more likely for Mingyu to find him because Wonwoo would easily stand out, not to mention that Mingyu has been checking every passerby’s face in hopes of meeting Wonwoo again.
Every day since they met that one fateful night, Mingyu started being hyperaware of his surroundings with every inch of hope that he runs into Wonwoo again. One day becomes two and two becomes four then Mingyu stops keeping track after. He decides to put all his faith in luck (and maybe just the tiniest bit in destiny), and was he thankful that luck (he believes it’s destiny) works quick.
“Minseo,” they both look at her and she smiles, sweetly when it's directed at Wonwoo, and knowingly when she turns to Mingyu. ”Oh, weren’t we calling each other’s names out?
"Hello, I'm Kim Minseo. Mingyu oppa is unfortunately my brother."
Mingyu swears she is the devil reincarnate.
"Hi, Minseo. I'm Wonwoo," he waves at Minseo and are those sweater paws? Mingyu wants to cry and maybe he will if Minseo doesn't stop giving him more obvious looks.
"What are you doing here, hyung?" Mingyu might have been subtly staring at Wonwoo's face the entire time that he fails to notice the groceries Wonwoo has in his hand.
"Just running some errands for my mom," he lifts the basket as if it wasn't already obvious. "Didn't expect this many people and to run into you here today,"
"Yeah, didn't think I'd see you here too,” or anywhere ever.
The rush of shoppers hasn't died down so Mingyu internally panics when someone bumps against Wonwoo's shoulder in their haste. It makes Wonwoo stumble and only then does Mingyu notice how lean he is. He's just a few inches shorter than Mingyu but the way his oversized sweatshirt hugs his body makes him look infinitely small, especially next to Mingyu.
At the side, Minseo just silently watches the exchange between the two, but trust her to always do something that would make her brother want to revoke her sibling card (or not).
"Oppa, I want ice cream."
Mingyu isn't certain if it's because the temperature has gone up or because the sun in its human form is just an arm's breadth from him that he feels like it isn't as cold as the night he met Wonwoo.
It’s still cold enough to want ice cream at this time, though, and he makes sure to let Minseo know that.
"It's freezing, Min."
"But I was asking Wonwoo oppa– wait, it's fine if I call you oppa, right?"
And in that moment, Mingyu musters up all the willpower to not fight his 10-year-old sister.
"Of course. Let’s get that ice cream you wanted.” If Wonwoo sees the wink Minseo throws at Mingyu, he doesn’t comment on it.
“You don’t have to, hyung,” he says to Wonwoo first then talks to his sister next. “Minseo, Wonwoo hyung has to get groceries for his mom. I’ll get you an ice cream on the way home if you really want one.”
“It’s okay, Mingyu, I’m done anyway. Let me just pay for these,”
Mingyu hesitates for a second before nodding. “Okay, we’ll pay for these too.”
(Wonwoo still has a lot on his list, but Mingyu doesn't need to know that)
--
“Are you Mingyu oppa’s new friend? I’ve met Minghao oppa and Seokmin oppa but it’s the first time I’ve seen you, Wonwoo oppa.”
Mingyu cringes after hearing too many oppas in one sentence. He checks if Wonwoo does the same but doesn’t see even a single hint of bothered expression on his face. If anything, there’s only a tiny smile playing on his lips.
Mingyu knows he said he’s going to stop making assumptions about Wonwoo, but he really doesn’t seem like the type to talk much so Mingyu felt anxious the entire walk from the grocery section to this part of the mall. Their whole family is composed of talkers and his sister decides on this day to show just that. She asks Wonwoo the most random things from his favorite color (Wonwoo says he doesn’t have one) to his favorite books (Wonwoo mentions a lot of titles that even Minseo gets stunned).
Mingyu doesn’t know what to do with all the information but he makes sure to take note of them just in case it comes in handy in the future.
Minseo could go on days talking on her own but that doesn’t seem to annoy Wonwoo in the slightest. He’s been really patient with Minseo and Mingyu wants to thank him for that because even he can’t keep up with his sister sometimes.
Wonwoo hums. “We just met a while back.”
The ice cream parlor Minseo chose is covered in too much pink for Mingyu’s liking. It’s not the best time for ice cream so there are only a total of eight people—the three of them, another group of three kids a few tables away, and the two people manning the store.
They go on talking and it seems like time has sped up because the next time Mingyu checks his watch, it’s been two hours since they ran into Wonwoo.
“I think we should go, Minseo. We’ve already kept Wonwoo hyung here for a long time,”
She pouts at that but doesn’t argue. “You should visit our house, oppa.” It’s only been hours since they met but Minseo already seems to like Wonwoo more than she likes Mingyu whom she has known her whole life.
Wonwoo looks at Mingyu for help because he doesn’t want to disappoint Minseo but he’s also not sure if they’re at a point where he’s welcome to be invited in the Kim household. Mingyu nods and makes a mental reminder to thank Minseo, not explicitly though because Mingyu can’t deal with Minseo’s teasing.
“You can come talk to Minseo anytime.” And me too, you can talk to me too.
“Okay,” then he smiles the most genuine smile Mingyu has ever seen from someone whom he just met that Mingyu hopes he could capture it with his camera.
When they reach the mall exit, Mingyu’s mind goes into overdrive again. And like the night he met Wonwoo, he wants to do a hundred different things all at the same time once more. He wants to tell Wonwoo that he appreciates him making time for his sister’s request. He wants to tell him he enjoyed today with him. He wants to tell him he has the cutest sweater paws.
He still pretty much wants to get Wonwoo’s number. And this time he decides he will. Well, he was about to, but Wonwoo beats him to it when he says, “Can I get your number, Mingyu?”
Mingyu goes home that day thinking that maybe ice cream in winter could be a source of warmth too.