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For the longest time, Gibbs had put off talking to Tony. He’d watched Tony’s refulgent personality grow dimmer and dimmer, but he didn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it, more accurately.
He found himself jealous of the position that Ziva seemed to hold in Tony’s life. At one point, Gibbs had been the center of Tony’s universe, but that had ended a long time ago. Gibbs had never quite been able to figure out why.
He did know that everything had changed after Mexico. He also knew that he was the one who had allowed Tony to drift away. Before Mexico he had thought that there was a chance that Tony returned his feelings.
Before Mexico Tony would come over to his place frequently, but after Mexico he never saw Tony except at work. Still he didn’t do anything except watch and work on his boat. There was a voice in his head, which he had named Shannon as it sounded so much like his dead wife, that kept telling him he needed to talk to Tony before something drastic happened.
He ignored the suggestion from the voice like he ignored the suggestion that he stop marrying redheads and live his own life. He’d gotten used to ignoring the voice and rather set in his ways. Now, he was paying for it as he watched Tony and Ziva flirt.
They’d been flirting for years and he was convinced that they’d already had sex at least once. Gibbs figured Tony was a lost cause by now. That was until the mess with Ziva in Israel.
Tony had returned home, but Ziva had stayed in Israel. Gibbs didn’t understand why it had played out like that. He was certain they were serious about each other if not practically married already.
At first, he’d ascribed Tony’s increasing depression to missing Ziva, but when he’d confronted Tony about Ziva and practically ordered him to go back to Israel to be with her if that’s what he’d wanted, Tony had just looked at him confused and replied, “What are you talking about, boss? Ziva and I have never had a personal relationship.”
That had been the end of it. Gibbs had been too shocked to push for more. Tony had never brought the subject back up.
Actually, Tony never initiated personal conversations of any sort anymore. Gibbs wondered if Tony had ever had feelings for him or if he’d only ever imagined it. Still he’d thought that he had more time.
Tony’s letter of resignation completely shocked him. Tony may have told Vance it was because of Tali, but Gibbs couldn’t believe it. If Tony and Ziva had never had a personal relationship there was no way Tali was his.
Gibbs speculated briefly about whose child Tali really was before deciding it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Tony couldn’t be allowed to leave. The only problem with this plan was that Tony masterfully avoided being alone with Gibbs these days.
Gibbs regretted the distance, but didn’t really know how to close the gap either. Still he was Gibbs, if he wanted to corner someone he could. He’d just have to use his super secret Marine sniper skills to sneak up on Tony when he was least expecting it.
“We are long overdue for a talk.”
“Gibbs? What? Where’d you come from?”
“You didn’t think you could avoid me forever, did you?”
”I’d hoped.” Tony muttered under his breath, but Gibbs still heard him. In his normal voice, Tony offered, “We don’t have anything to talk about.”
“Oh, I think we do.” Gibbs glared down at Tony. “You know what we need to talk about as well.”
Tony sighed. “Not here.”
“My place, after work. Or I will chase you down, DiNozzo.”
“Fine.”
They both parted ways and returned to their desks. Gibbs had a hard time concentrating on work, after that. Tony’s response wasn’t what he’d hoped and now he couldn’t help wondering if he’d lost his chance.
Finally, it was late enough that he could send the team home without attracting undue attention. Gibbs grabbed his stuff and headed out the door, the team looking after him in confusion. Gibbs knew they were watching him, but his bastard side was in full force and he didn’t feel like explaining that they were free to go.
He smirked when Tony piped up, “You see the boss. Time to call it a day.”
Gibbs watched Bishop and McGee look from Tony to him and back, trying to figure out if Tony was telling the truth or not. Tony just started packing his bags and when Gibbs said nothing to the contrary the others did too. Gibbs pressed the button for the elevator stepping into it when the doors opened and taking it down to the parking garage.
Tony could have made it into the elevator with Gibbs if he had wanted to, but it was obvious that Tony was still wary about being in Gibbs’ presence despite his agreement to come over that evening. The doors closed on Gibbs, leaving him alone in the elevator with his thoughts.
Gibbs was the first one back to his apartment. He grabbed a couple of beers, though he really wanted something stronger as he waited for Tony to arrive. He let Tony take off his jacket and handed him a beer as he tried to figure out how to start the conversation.
Tony wasn’t giving him any help, just sitting silently on the couch waiting for Gibbs to start the conversation. Gibbs didn’t know where to start. He didn’t really know what happened just that they drifted apart and he’d never pushed until now to find out why.
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know, boss.”
“So why don’t you?”
Gibbs watched conflicting emotions flicker across Tony’s face so fast that he couldn’t even follow all of them. When Tony didn’t look like he was going to answer, Gibbs crossed his arms and glared.
“Why does it matter?”
Gibbs glare intensified to the point that daggers were practically exploding out of his eyes and heading unerringly for Tony’s. “That’s not an answer.”
”Seriously, we’ve gone this long without talking about it. Why are you bringing it up now?”
“Because you’re leaving and for a child that’s not even your own,” Gibbs growled.
“Just because I’m not her biological father, doesn’t mean she’s not my child, Gibbs, and who are you to judge my life and my decisions. You stepped out of my personal life years ago and until now have shown no signs of wanting back in.”
”It’s too late then.” Gibbs practically deflated like a popped balloon.
“Too late for what?”
“For us?”
“What us? There has never been an us. You made sure of that.”
“I did?”
“Don't play dumb, now, Gibbs.”
“I never meant for this to happen.”
Tony snorted. “Too little too late. If you wanted a relationship with me, you should have you know tried talking about this oh over 10 years ago when we stopped being friends.”
“You don’t consider me a friend, anymore?” The pain Gibbs felt so deep and piercing that it couldn’t help, but come through in his voice.
“Not really, no. Not when it’s taken you 10 years and my resignation to be bothered enough about missing me in your personal life to confront me. I know you care and if I came to you for help would do your best to help me, but that’s just the kind of man you are and is not the same as the give and take of friendship. Heck even McGee is a better friend to me as he makes sure we see each other outside of work at least once a month if not more frequently. You never cared enough to seek my company if I didn’t magically appear in your space.”
“That’s not true.” Gibbs protested.
“Isn’t it?”
“I’ve always cared.”
“I know.”
“I took our friendship for granted.”
“You did.”
“Is there nothing that can be done?”
“Depends. What exactly are you looking for?”
“A chance to earn your trust again. Perhaps even explore something deeper than friendship if that becomes a possibility. If you are never able to see me as anything more than a friend, I will understand though it will remain a regret of mine that I took you for granted and thus lost any chance at a romantic relationship with you.”
“Why now?”
“I’m no longer your boss. I don’t have to worry about accusations of favoritism.”
Tony snorted. “That’s a weak excuse, Gibbs. You’re going to have to try harder if you really want to be more than friends.”
“So there’s hope?”
“Who knows. It depends on you. Now, I really must be going. I have to pick up Tali from my father before he corrupts her more than he already has.”
“Can I take you and Tali to the park?”
“Why?”
“I would like to get to know your child.”
Tony raised a well groomed eyebrow at Gibbs. “You do? You seemed rather disparaging of mine and Tali’s relationship earlier.”
“I was jealous. I’ve always been jealous of your relationship with Ziva. I didn’t understand how you could take care of Ziva’s child if she wasn’t yours, which you made pretty clear wasn’t possible. I’d like to understand.”
“Fine. You can take us to the park, but you better be prepared to pamper Tali. Regardless of our relationship or lack thereof, I will not be pleased if you hurt Tali’s feelings.”
“Understood.”
Tony nodded his head, reclaimed his coat and left Gibbs’ house, leaving Gibbs alone with his thoughts and self recriminations for taking Tony for granted. It was pretty obvious now that Tony wouldn’t be returning to the team regardless of anything that happened between him and Gibbs. Gibbs just hoped that he didn’t screw this up again.
Tony might be willing to forgive him for the years of silence, but Gibbs was pretty sure that if he screwed up again Tony would walk out the door and never come back. Gibbs didn’t want that, but he wasn’t sure if he could stop it from happening. He’d gotten to used to being a bastard over the years after Shannon.
His exes really had not done anything to soften that side of him. He made a vow to himself that he would try. He only hoped that it would be enough.
Surprisingly the conversation with Gibbs had not gone as bad as Tony expected. Tony had fully expected a meeting with bastard Gibbs demanding that Tony let him into his life again or demanding Tony not leave the team. He still wasn’t sure if he could let Gibbs in that much again, but at least Gibbs seemed to accept that he was basically on probation.
He would see how the park went before making any further decisions. He hadn’t wanted children, but after Ziva’s death he couldn’t leave Tali to the at best benign neglect he’d received from Senior and at worst completely abusive parentage. Biologically, Tali was Senior’s child, but even Ziva had known that Senior would not make a good parent.
At least, Tony assumed that’s why she’d had Orli contact him instead of Senior in the event of her death. The birth certificate he’d received from Orli after Ziva’s death had listed simply Anthony DiNozzo, so a case could be made for either himself or Senior to be her father. Tony sometimes wondered why Ziva included that ambiguity on the birth certificate.
Had she actually wanted a relationship with him instead of his father? Had she just wanted to make it easier for Tony to claim Tali as his should she die? Or had she wanted Tony and Senior to share joint custody of Tali?
They would never know, now. Tony was just glad that Senior hadn’t fought him on Tali’s parentage and had happily signed over parental rights to Tony, so that everything was completely legal in the eyes of the law and no one could ever take Tali from Tony. Tony wasn’t sure what to make of Senior either.
He seemed to be trying to be a lot more involved in Tali’s life than he’d ever been in Tony’s. Tony wasn’t sure what that meant beyond more access to free babysitting for him than he’d expected when he decided to take custody of Tali despite her not actually being his child. Tony still wasn’t sure about children in general, but he had to admit that Tali more than made up for the turmoil she’d introduced to his life.
It wasn’t her fault by any stretch of the imagination. Adopting a child across countries simply involved a lot more paperwork than anyone really wanted to deal with. Worse than buying a home, Tony was pretty sure.
Finally, shaking himself out of his thoughts, he put a smile on his face and went into the Adams Hotel that Senior was staying at currently to collect Tali. She was already asleep, so he would have to wait until tomorrow to tell her the exciting news about going to a park. Which reminded him, he needed to confirm when Gibbs wanted to do that and probably offer up a couple of rules of his own for their outing.
“Where and when are we doing the park?” Tony texted to Gibbs.
Gibbs texted back. “Sunday, 2pm. I’ll pick you and Tali up from your apartment.”
Tony cringed a bit. He didn’t actually have that apartment anymore. With Tali, he’d needed a place with more space.
He wasn’t sure if he was ready for Gibbs to know where he lived. “I don’t live there anymore. Can we meet somewhere instead?”
Gibbs frowned as he read that text. “Meet at my place at 1:45pm then. I’ll drive us all to the park.”
“Drive safely. I don’t want her traumatized. Also, do not bring up her biological parentage. It’s not something we talk about. I want her to understand that I will always be her father before the complexity of her actual birth gets introduced.”
“Understood.”
With Tony leaving the team, they were on cold cases until suitable replacements had been found and the team was back to full strength. Tony spent his time in the office trying to get all his paperwork caught up and filed. The current plan was for McGee to take over as SFA and to add at least one probie.
McGee didn’t understand Tony’s choice to leave. Actually most of NCIS didn’t. The proverbial playboy quitting to take care of a child, just didn’t compute in their heads.
Jimmy and to a certain extent Ducky were the only ones that seemed to understand. Or at least they didn’t spend all their time trying to convince Tony to stay. By the time Sunday rolled around he was definitely ready for a break from all of his coworkers and severely hoped that the adventure to the park wasn’t a mistake.
Tali seemed super excited to meet Dohd Gibbs. Apparently, Ziva had talked about him quite a lot. She changed outfits like 10 times before finally settling on one to wear for the day.
Tony couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he watched her try on outfit after outfit just because. Her reasons for why the outfits wouldn’t suit were hilarious as well, “I can’t wear this. Froggy would be jealous,” for example.
They made it to Gibbs’ house only a couple of minutes late, to see Gibbs grinning widely at them from his porch. They all piled into Gibbs’ vehicle and Gibbs started to drive, making sure to go at least 5 miles under the speed limit until Tony realized what he was doing and told him that it was fine to drive the speed limit so long as he was safe and not darting in and out of traffic.
“Dohd Gibbs is an awesome driver. Mama always said so.” Tali piped up from the back at the exchange between Tony and Gibbs.
Gibbs led them through a bunch of side streets until they arrived at a park that Tony hadn’t even known existed. It was geared for children Tali’s age and she happily ran out to play with the park equipment. Gibbs and Tony followed at a more sedate pace, Tony making sure Tali stayed in his sight at all times.
The biggest surprise for Tony, though, wasn’t how good Gibbs was with Tali. He’d expected that given Gibbs’ ability with children through numerous cases. No, what surprised him was the way Gibbs behaved around him.
Tony hadn’t seen a single glimpse of the bastard he regularly saw at work. This wasn’t even the silent but gentle Gibbs that he had sometimes seen when he visited Gibbs in his basement. Tony didn’t think he’d ever met this Gibbs before.
Tony wasn’t even sure how to describe him. He wasn’t like full on flirting, but at the same time there was definitely some flirting going on and Gibbs was actually engaging Tony in conversation. Well when Tali let the two of them have their own conversation that was.
Gibbs didn’t get impatient or mind when Tali interrupted them. He seemed content almost. Tony didn’t think he’d ever seen Gibbs like this before.
The man had even planned a surprise picnic full of child friendly snacks including some fruit and vegetables that Tony wasn’t sure Tali would really appreciate, but the thought was there. He’d even brought some of Tony’s favorite snacks. Then there were all the casual touches that Gibbs initiated.
Tony wasn’t sure what was going on, but he definitely felt a bit wooed. When Tali finally tired of playing, Tony realized just why Gibbs had picked this particular park. One of its features was a small lake complete with rowboat rentals, so that you could paddle around and explore the lake.
Gibbs used his powerful muscles to row them around the lake, lulling Tali easily into a nap she wasn’t sure she wanted to take. By the time the date ended or whatever you would call it, Tony wasn’t sure it could really be a date with a child along for the ride, Tony couldn’t deny to himself that he would enjoy more outings like this. Tali too, didn’t want it to end.
She woke from her nap and was sorry to hear that they would have to leave soon. She pouted a bit, but packed up when Tony told her to. Gibbs drove them back to his place, offering that they could stay for dinner if they wanted.
Tony declined saying they really needed to get home, but maybe next time they could do that. Gibbs’ face fell a bit, but he didn’t push. The desire to kiss Gibbs’ flashed through Tony’s mind, but he held back not knowing if the beauty of this day would be a one time thing or not.
He hoped that there would be more experiences like this, but for right now he had a tired girl to get home. He also couldn’t forget the previous 10 years. One amazing day did not make up for 10 years of neglect.