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❥day one.
The day they begin to date is... Well, it's a lot, if anyone is being honest. It's probably enough of a mess that anyone with half a brain would quirk eyebrows and widen eyes at one of them for saying yes. Instead, it's just met with an affectionate laugh from one half of the couple and blushing and stammering from the other half when it's told at parties or get togethers or even when the other members of their group just want to pester them.
Lee Minho stares at Han Jisung intently. Jisung steps back, hitting the large mirrored in the practice room. Panic rests on his face and seeps through his pores, but Minho doesn't notice.
Minho had the same look Seungmin gets before he does something aggressive then sweet, like push over Changbin before laying on him or biting Jeongin's shoulder harder than he should before snuggling into him.
It worried Jisung, if he was being honest.
Taking a chance, he attempts to slip away, only to have Minho grab the front of his hoodie by the collar. He pulls Jisung close, staring intently at him again.
"Min-Minho, are you okay? Did I upset you?"
"Shut up. I'm thinking."
Jisung clearly relaxes, realizing that no, this is just Minho being Minho. He lets his body slide down a bit and watches as Minho near-effortlessly keeps him supported.
"We should date."
"What?"
Jisung, unfortunately, shoots himself up from his slouching position. The unfortunate part takes place in the form of Minho being startled by his sudden movement and losing his balance. As a result, his fist is shoved into Jisung's face, catching the bridge of his nose.
"We sh-should date," he stutters out, confidence gone.
Jisung holds the bridge of his nose, staring. "I-I agree."
Perhaps it wasn't the smoothest way to ask someone out, accidentally running your knuckles into their face, but still. It counts, at least.
❥month one.
One month passes by quickly. Time is limited between the two of them, but they make do. Nobody is really suspicious of much, though Chan and Woojin both know.
Jisung, being the guilty and loud-mouthed soul he is, insists on telling Chan, since he's their leader. Woojin is an after thought that Jisung gives because he's pretty sure that the eldest has a crush on their leader. He's seen the way he stares dumbly at him and sneaks into his room at night to cover Chan when he falls asleep at the computer, among other things.
Minho protests but it's only half hearted.
When they come into Chan's room, they scoot out the other group members who have gathered there. Chan's face falls, worry tinging his tired features. They were a close group and asking others the leave to talk meant something personal was happening.
"Are you two okay?" he finally asks, softly. "Is there something to work out between you two?"
Minho snorts out a bit of breathy laughter. "It's the opposite of that."
"What?"
Jisung, for all his desire to talk to Chan about this, suddenly feels like a deer in headlights. He stares at Minho, then Chan, then back to Minho expectantly. The older of the pair rolls his eyes, smiling.
"We should have told you this before, but I asked Jisung out. We make a month today."
Chan doesn't let surprise show on his face if there is any. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying at it. He keeps his eyes trained between the two of them for at least two long, excruciating minutes.
Minho and Jisung both shift uncomfortably.
"Well, I'm glad it's nothing bad," Chan finally says. He frowns, however. "This is dangerous, though, you know."
"Yeah, but we're careful. It's not like a little skinship has ever made our fans uncomfortable--"
"In fact, I'd say they'd be pleasantly surprised if I kissed him more," Minho interrupts with a smirk and an eyebrow wag to rival Felix's.
Chan and Jisung both frown in response. Neither seems particularly amused. Minho just offers a bashful grin and shrugs.
"This is serious, Minho. There's a dating ban, there's--"
"Chan, this is exactly why we came to you. We wanted to be careful and sort things out." Jisung runs a hand through his hair, sighing. "I wanted to make sure we did this right."
Chan's expression softens. He looks between the two, placing a hand on each of their legs. "It's not that I'm not happy," he begins. "I just have responsibility as the leader. I take it seriously. I am happy for you two, though. It's hard enough to be an idol but you two managed to find someone to date. Even as your friend, I'm just happy. We just have to be careful, okay?"
Jisung beams with pride, throwing his arms around Chan. Minho lets out one of his high pitched giggles of a laugh, feeling the tension melt from the room.
Woojin is a much simpler creature to tell. Minho leaves Chan's room with Jisung in tow, yanking him by his wrist. The flustered blonde just follows obediently, as per usual.
It's only when Minho throws open the door to Woojin's room that Jisung feels worry. The two of them stare at Woojin, who's lounging on his bed in his pyjamas.
"Yes?" he finally asks, smiling a bit awkwardly.
Minho laces his fingers in Jisung's, points at their hands, then points at Jisung's face.
"This is my boyfriend. Thank you, have a good night."
With that, the two leave the room, Jisung throwing the eldest of them all an apologetic and slightly confused look. Minho just beams, enjoying their fingers laced together.
❥kiss one.
It's sticky and odd. Kissing, that is. Or at least that's what Jisung thinks that kissing is like. Well, kissing Minho right now, specifically, is sticky and odd.
Minho has his hands on his arms, pulled forward into him. They're both a little tipsy but that's nothing new on their off days. Hyunjin, Changbin, and Seungmin all let out an excited whoop, but Jeongin, Chan, and Woojin all groan and fuss in various ways. Felix is staring unabashedly open mouthed, looking between the two of them, then Hyunjin and Changbin, then back, a furious blush on his face.
Minho's lip gloss is sticky and sweet. It tastes almost like vanilla and oranges. Or maybe that's what Minho tastes like? Or maybe he smells like that? When Jisung looks back on this memory, he doesn't know, but he remembers vanilla and oranges so distinctly that it becomes his favorite scent and his favorite flavor.
But now, in this moment, Minho is holding Jisung with shaky hands by the arms against him and kissing him chastely. Their mouths don't part but their eyes are thankfully closed. Jisung laughs into Minho's lips when they part. He isn't sure what everyone expected when Hyunjin dared Minho to "Do something he's been wanting to do for a while."
Actually, hang on. Did Hyunjin and Minho plan this? Is this why Minho turns and grins at Hyunjin like a cat that's caught it's prey? Is this why Hyunjin clicks his tongue, winks, and throws him finger guns?
Jisung turns with a fiery faced blush to Minho, staring with his mouth open. He isn't sure how to process what's happening right now. The rest of the group is laughing, clinking alcohol and drink glasses together in the dorm. They're shoved together on the small couch and the love seat Chan somehow convinced the ladies from Twice to give them instead of throwing it out.
It's later that night when everyone else but Jisung and Minho have fallen asleep that Minho turns to him to offer an apology. Jisung, still a little tipsy but feeling nice, smiles at his boyfriend. He places his head on his shoulder and whines when Minho moves.
"No, look at me," Minho mumbles.
When Jisung does, he thinks maybe this kiss should be their first real kiss. It's soft and gentle. Minho places a hand on his waist, pulls him ever so slightly closer. His hands are still shaking and he's clearly still nervous. Jisung smiles into their kiss and deepens it ever so slightly.
Minho finds his hand with his own free one. They lace them together and out of habit now, Jisung squeezes softly the beat of the song playing. It reminds him of how they feel in love, how they became so close that day in the practice room. It's something gentle that they share together, no matter in public or not.
They part, breathless and flushed, smiling at one another.
"I've been waiting to do that for three months." The way Minho says it is so matter of fact that Jisung is almost taken aback. It's like the idea that his boyfriend, god forbid, wanting to kiss him is strange to him.
It stays strange for a long time. He's never really able to understand the love Lee Minho has for him.
❥I love you one.
The first time I love you is said is months after their first kiss. It coincides with their first fight, their first real argument in years. It takes everyone by surprise the way Jisung shoves Minho away, telling him not to fucking touch him. Minho falls back on the couch, not capable of even looking at Jisung.
"I don't know what you expect from me," Jisung breathes out, staring at the top of Minho's head. "But being able to accept that isn't something I can do."
Changbin and Hyunjin follow Jisung into his room, holding the blonde in their arms while his whole body aches with sobs. Chan and Seungmin take a seat next to Minho, but Chan is pulled away by Woojin who warns him to make sure he keeps a neutral ground as the leader.
Jisung, face curled into Hyunjin's neck, lets himself be cradled by his two friends. They shush him, agreeing in soft murmurs that it's okay to be upset by this.
"He said he kissed that other guy," Jisung hiccups. "He said it like it didn't matter."
Changbin shushes him with a hand on the small of his back, head on Hyunjin's other shoulder. They're essentially a tangle of limbs but it's comforting in some way. "It happened a few days before you started dating, Jisung. I know you're upset but--"
"He has every right to be upset, Changbin," Hyunjin softly chides. He tightens his arms around Jisung to get his point across. "Minho asked him out a few days later and Jisung feels like he's just a placeholder now."
Jisung lets out another soft, hiccuping sob. Minho made it seem like it was always him, like he was so nervous that it was him, but of course it wasn't. The bitter thought that he's always just been some kind of placeholder, fan service, right-for-right-now person makes him want to vomit.
"Thanks, Jinnie," he sniffles miserably. He tightens his grip on the back of Changbin's shirt, pulling the three of them closer together. He was lucky to have such good friends.
Outside the room, the three of them could easily hear Seungmin yelling at Minho. His nasally, angry trill rose above the sound of Jeongin yelling at him to be quiet and "leave hyung alone, he's miserable enough" in return. Like a god send, Changbin pulls out his phone and quickly turns on a song to drown out the noise.
They stay curled into one another for most of the night. It's only when Jisung wakes up does he realize that they've left and in their place is Minho, sleeping in the bunk with him. Instead of next to him like he's done sometimes, he's sitting at foot of the bed, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.
Jisung kicks him heavily in the shin. He wakes with a start, swatting at Jisung out of fear. When he realizes that the rapper is awake, he quickly makes a move to get out of bed.
"Wait," Jisung whispers. He moves over and pulls the covers back, waiting expectantly. When Minho doesn't make a move, he lets out a noise of annoyance. "Quit. Come lay down."
Minho stays as far away as possible when he finally does lay down. Jisung, however, crowds closer to him. He shoves his head under Minho's chin, draping an arm around his waist. He snuggles into Minho and lets out a soft sigh into his chest.
"Why are you forgiving me?"
It takes a while for either to speak, but of course it's Minho who asks this first. Jisung shakes his head in response.
"It's not forgiveness. I just... I missed you," he admits. "It hurt to think about being without you."
Minho shakes and at first, Jisung thinks he's cold. He pulls the covers tighter around him before realizing that no, he's crying. His body heaves with silent tears he's trying to keep back.
"Minho..." Jisung whispers. He looks up to pepper his chin and cheeks with kisses, each one softer than the last. "Stop. Please. You didn't... Minho, you didn't do anything wrong. I was just hurt that you liked someone else so much--"
"I didn't even like him, Jisung," Minho admits. He tries to move away but Jisung holds him in place with the arm over his waist. "I didn't like him. I liked you but I thought you'd never like me back. I was-- I've always been so unsure about you."
At this, Jisung presses their lips together. Minho tries again to move away, begging Jisung to let him go, to not forgive him for hurting him like that. The rapper just keeps him in place, placing soft kisses against his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, everywhere.
"Minho, you were always the one. I didn't know what it was supposed to be like, what this was supposed to be like, until you. I didn't expect you but here you are. You're allowed to have liked other people. Half the time I don't even understand why you like me of all people. I'm sorry I yelled at you in front of everyone. You didn't deserve that. It's fine, Minho. It's fine. I love you. I love you."
He says the last part into Minho's lips. He presses them together firmly, pulling the dancer closer to him each time he says it. He repeats it over and over again, a plea for him to forgive himself.
"We can talk about it more tomorrow, but know that I love you, Minho."
Minho sniffles, nodding. "I love you, too, Jisung. I'm sorry, too."
"We can fix this tomorrow morning. Can we sleep now?"
"Yeah. We can sleep now."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."