Chapter Text
Somebody hooked up in the boys' bathroom and the evidence is left behind on the common room’s table.
“Nobody is moving that damned thong until the owner grows a pair and admits to it.”
It rocked the entire Class 1A dormitory, showing up out of nowhere like a thief in the night. The only hint left behind alongside the evidence was a small note from the cleaning company UA hired to maintain the dorms weekly. Folded neatly and placed delicately smack dab on the middle of the table in the living room, was an equally neat, and delicate thong.
By the time the majority of class 1A had woken up, the garment had been poked, prodded, and flung like a frisbee by all those who had the misfortune of curiously picking it up. It was all for nought though. Those who were brave enough to play investigator were only left with more questions than answers after realizing just what the mysterious material was.
Ojiro who was currently closest to it, having sat down to watch the morning news, was struggling in vain to keep his eyes on the TV. Even Tokoyami who had his lustrous feathers to cover up his blushed cheeks fidgeted as he listened to the forecast.
Seconds ticked by like hours.
They’d both rather sit in awkward silence and act like it wasn’t there. Nobody dared to be the fool who would bring attention to it.
That fool's name was Denki Kaminari.
“Gooood morning, future heros! And just what are we watching today on televi- holy shit!”
Most of the dorm’s inhabitants paid no mind to the electric quirk user, already having become accustomed to his sporadic yelling about this and that topic. Kaminari, however, was quite literally short circuiting where he stood. “Is that a th-th-th-”
“Thong!?” Midoriya slapped both of his hands over his mouth. After turning the corner, he got the shock of his life from seeing the talk of the morning hanging off the side of the table.
The usually meek male’s outburst caused more than one head to turn, until eventually almost the entire class was crowded around Midoriya, and more importantly- the table.
Mumbles were exchanged amongst the cluster. It was hot on everyone’s mind, wondering just who it belonged to. Some students shrugged while others blushed. There were even the few who slipped away, not wanting to bother themselves with the drama.
“Oi! Stop crowding the fucking TV, you extras. What’s everybody standing around for, huh?” Bakugou shoved his way to the center, his irritation only skyrocketing when his question went unanswered. It was rhetorical, of course, but how dare they ignore him! Just what was so important that they couldn’t be bothered to even give him a reaction?
“Um, Kacchan?”
‘No. Anybody but him,’ Bakugou internally moped. ‘He’s not the damn attention I was looking for.’
Bakugou’s eyes did a quick glance of the room before locking on your form in the kitchen with laser-like accuracy. Seeing you provided the hot head with a temporary reprieve, your melodic giggling successfully fending off his incoming headache.
He almost smiled to himself at how cute you looked in your apron but it was quickly slapped off after hearing Midoriya’s attempt to answer his initial question.
“There’s, uh…” Midoriya glanced around for help, but nobody was taking the bait. His green orbs darted all over the room before focusing on the pair of underwear. He swore it felt like it had eyes and was staring back at him.
Bakugou, as always, quickly caught on and let out a harsh bark of irritated laughter.
“Hah! So, that’s what’s got everyone with a stick up their asses? Well, I’ll tell ya this much, whoever’s it is must really be looking for an ass beating. I sit on this couch!” He eyed the sofa with disgust.
“It came from the bathroom actually.”
Several pairs of eyes turned towards the redhead in shock after hearing his confession.
“Kirishima? I didn’t know you had it in you, buddy!” Sero wrapped an arm around his now stuttering friend’s shoulder and ushered him towards the table. Even if it wasn’t Kirishima’s, he didn’t mind his friend taking the blame. Anything to get the underwear out of sight already.
Being under the heat of everyone’s gaze, Kirishima quickly put his hands up in surrender, eyes bugging out.
“What? N-No! It wasn’t me, man!” He held up a single cardstock as if it were made of glass, hoping the paper would prove his supposed innocence. “I mean, that’s just what the note says!”
“Ahem! ‘Found this in the boy’s bathroom when we were cleaning and laundered it for you! Enjoy~ Yamamoto's Cleaning Company.’” Kaminari read aloud to the room before he scoffed and flung the card onto the table. “Yeah, they did enjoy themself, I’m sure.” He eyed his friend wearily and Kirishima waved him off.
“Hey, it wasn’t me, guys. I don’t wear things like that anyways.”
“...We all have our preferences.”
It was just a low mumble, but those who had heard it turned to Sero. “I-I just meant that some guys prefer wearing that type of thing! I didn’t mean it was mine! Besides, that can’t even fit me!” Sero backed up slowly as if he had committed a crime and Bakugou smirked wickedly.
“I bet we can make it fit you!” The blond snatched the thong and charged towards Sero. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that his brain registered just how soft the lace was. “Argh!” Bakugou suddenly dropped the thong on the floor as if it were made of fire.
The room silenced itself as everyone stared at Bakugou. He looked down at his own hand incredulously. He couldn’t believe his own appendage just betrayed him like that. Purposely using his innocent hand to rub his reddening cheek roughly, he protested. “Hey, don’t you fuckers look at me like that. Just because I touched it doesn’t mean I know whose it is.”
“How do we know it’s not yours?” Kaminari grinned, turning the tables and successfully diverting everyone’s attention.
“It’s fucking not, okay?! That frilly shit ain’t mine. In fact,” He turned around towards the kitchen. “Oi! You extras gonna spend all day over there? Your cover’s been blown so might as well own up to this shit!”
The group looked over, uninterested, and turned back to their own conversations. “Hey!” Bakugou screeched, the vein in his forehead throbbing with irritation. “Don’t fucking ignore me! I’m talking to you shitheads!”
You glanced over your shoulder at the guys in the living room section of the common area and commented off handedly,
“We’re not interested in your dick measuring contest. Go away.”
Bakugou’s jaw dropped and before he could go over and give you a piece of his mind, Mina threw an arm over your shoulder and stuck her tongue out at him.
“Yeah! We’re trying to make banana bread over here and you’re totally distracting us. Go find someone else to yell at!” You two joined Uraraka where she was dicing up the fruit and Bakugou growled. He’d been brushed off one too many times today.
“If one of you extra bitches don’t come here and move your fucking thong from the table, I’m going to blow it the fuck up!”
That certainly did the trick.
Turning in unison, there were varying looks of horror stretched across each of their faces. Yours included.
“Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. Now, hurry it up.”
Banana bread long forgotten, the crowd around the table grew larger as the fairer half of the class joined in.
“So, which one of you lovely ladies are a fan of lace?” Denki smirked and pointed at the floor where Bakugou had ever so gracefully dropped the item.
It was almost amusing how their eyes collectively widened in recognition, everyone’s gazes sticking to the floor like glue, lest one of them look up and give away whose it was. It was like watching an organized crime.
“We’re waiting,” Denki singsonged teasingly.
“Whatever! You guys are making a big deal out of nothing.” Toru’s shirt wrinkled from where she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Yeah! How do we know it’s not one of yours?” Mina piped in.
Bakugou’s face flushed as he remembered the feeling of the soft material in his hands, and for once, he opted to keep his mouth shut.
“W-Well, it doesn’t fit us, and none of us have claimed it as our own. So, logically it has to be one of yours. Not that we’re blaming you! It’s just... we would appreciate it if you moved it from the common room. Oh! I’m not saying it’s ugly! It’s actually, uh, very nice! W-Wait! What I meant is-”
“What Midoriya is trying to say is, although it is a very attractive garment, it is highly inappropriate to have laying around casually in a shared environment. These matters should be kept private!” Iida firmly concluded his speech with a chop, though his pink cheeks and ears gave away just how flustered he was.
“How do you know it wouldn’t fit you though?” Tsuyu thought out loud with a bulbous finger to her chin.
Everyone blinked and looked around. Her words infiltrated their minds and caused everyone to look at each other suspiciously. The tall male who had been standing in the corner and silently watching the whole debacle stepped forward with an annoyed face.
Todoroki bent down to pick up the garment delicately, causing a few gasps. His deft fingers swiftly unraveled it, paying no mind to the chattering around him. It was glaringly obvious that it was not his size after he pinned the material against his own hips. Waiting a few moments to let it sink in for everyone, he sighed heavily before placing it back on the table.
“It doesn’t belong to me. Don’t waste my time on things like this,” he deadpanned and walked off without a hitch.
Everyone stared at his back until he disappeared from view, his bold actions replaying over and over again in their heads.
Kaminari snorted and broke the silence.
“Well, his hips certainly don’t lie!”
A collective groan resonated through the room at his quip but Bakugou ignored it. They weren’t getting any closer to solving the root of the problem and it was eating away at him big time.
“Well, if you girls are gonna be a wuss then too bad,” Bakugou all but growled out. “Nobody is moving that damned thong until the owner grows a pair and admits to it.”
...Was the deal that had been made a week ago, but there was still no luck. The common room was almost always populated by either a random gaggle of friends or even lone riders. No doubt, that was one of the reasons the rightful owner probably hesitated in trying to anonymously retrieve their undergarment. Even after a fortnight, the launderers had once again washed and replaced the thong on the table, clearly not willing to take part in whatever weird hijinks were happening in the dorms.
Having made a home of the communal table for longer than a celebrity marriage, the garment almost seemed like a decoration. Still, nobody would dare put the remote too close or openly stare at it, lest any accusations befall them.
By now, the shock value had dissipated and most turned a blind eye, save for one man.
“I wonder if whoever owns that thing had to go commando because they were missing it,” Kaminari mused with a hand on his chin. Sero snorted. Leave it to Kaminari to approach the subject in the most obscure way possible.
“You idiot. Obviously, they would have more than one pair of underwear. Stop being weird,” Sero chided him, though he failed to mention that the exact thought had run across his mind before as well. Kaminari waved him off and turned towards Mina who was seated on an adjacent couch while typing on her phone.
“Hey, Mina! Do you know whose it is?” Denki wiggled his eyebrows playfully and Kirishima slapped the blonde’s shoulder lightly for asking such a question.
“Dude! You can’t just ask her that. You’ll make her uncomf-”
“Yep.”
The boys turned to look at her and she shrugged, “I’m not telling whose it is, but all of the girls know who it belongs to... and the story behind it.”
“The… story?” Kirishima mimicked her dramatic pause hesitantly, not knowing if he should take it any further. Mina unashamedly giggled, a wicked joy taking over her at how they all subconsciously leaned closer with red faces.
“Well, duh! You don’t think it just grew legs and crawled into the Men’s bathroom on it’s own, do ya? The owner of this pretty, little thing,” she stretched her legs that were perched on the table to nudge it with a sock covered toe, “was engaging in some… after practice, practice with somebody and forgot to pick it up on her way out.”
“‘After practice, practice?’” Sero was thoroughly perplexed. Kirishima stayed quiet but his brow furrowed in confusion.
“She means shower sex, you idiots!” Toru groaned from behind them and got up from the couch to leave. The remaining group blushed and Denki cleared his throat nervously.
Does he dare ask?
“Do you, uh, do you know who the guy she was with is?”
Mina smirked wider.
“You betcha.”
Over the next week, the thong was like a washed up pop star, it’s infamy resurfacing after the newest batch of rumors. News had eventually spread of just why the thong was found in the bathroom, and now nobody could look at it without blushing at the implications. Still, a few brave souls were seated in the common room tensely, trying desperately to keep their gazes on the TV screen. A sudden click from behind let them know that they would be having company. Uraraka glanced over her shoulder and smiled.
“Heyo, Mr. Aizawa!” She greeted him with a wave before she turned back around to continue watching the movie.
Wait. Everyone froze in synchronization so perfectly that they probably could’ve formed an Olympic swim team- and won gold.
“Mr. Aizawa?!”
Looking between the scraggly man, and the thong on the table, the group of adults panicked.
“Mr. Aizawa!” Midoriya chuckled nervously and glanced over his own shoulder. Kirishima quickly evacuated his seat and was now lounging on the table in order to block their teacher's direct line of sight from the enemy.
Midoriya scratched his cheek and laughed nervously. “Haha, you usually only come here once a month to make sure all of our appliances are working p-properly! What are you doing here?!”
Aizawa deadpanned and walked closer to where they were.
“I came here as I usually do once a month to make sure all of your appliances are working properly.”
His flat sarcasm made Midoriya wince. So, that certainly didn’t buy them any time. Momo bit her lip in thought, eyes sweeping the room for a life line. Eventually she landed on the kitchen and jumped out of her seat.
“Mr. Aizawa! As you are a guest here, please, allow me to make you a cup of tea!” She placed a hand on his back and turned to steer him towards the kitchen.
“Yeah! Yaomomo makes the best tea, Sir. Heh, you should really try it!” Uraraka joined her friend in guiding their teacher to the kitchen and glanced behind at the guys. Both ladies turned slightly, frantically motioning with their hands and mouthing ‘hide it!’
It was a battle of willpower between Midoriya, Kirishima, Bakugou and Todoroki. They glanced between themselves, all looking at the others as if to say, ‘I’m not doing it, you do it!’
“That’s very nice, ladies, but I don’t have time for tea,” Aizawa started walking back towards the table with such conviction that even Bakugou felt his heart drop.
“Hurry the fuck up before Aizawa sees it, shitheads!’ Bakugou said as quietly as he could. Which wasn’t very quiet at all.
“Sees what?” Their professor walked closer, suspecting something now.
They were so dead.
Being the one closest to it, Kirishima quickly snatched the thong up. He looked down to the left, and down to the right. Ah, dammit! Why didn’t his pants have any pockets?! A lightbulb flashed over his head and he stuffed it under the waistband of his sweatpants with break-neck speed, proud of his own quick thinking. A second later, he seemed to realize what he just did, making his eyes go wide. “Wait!”
Before he could take it out and hide it somewhere else, their teacher rounded the corner of the sofa and stared down the four men harshly. There was a shuffling of feet and when they turned, they could see Uraraka and Momo giggling and running upstairs, leaving them to deal with this alone. So much for class solidarity!
“What’s going on here.” Rather than a question, it was a dry statement that got no answer. Aizawa sighed and looked around.
Bakugou was leering ferociously at the television. Normal. Midoriya nervously vibrated like a broken Tracfone while staring into space. Normal. Todoroki was watching him head on with that blank look on his face. Normal.
The scene looked so mundane, but there was a rosy tint sweeping their faces that made Aizawa raise an eyebrow. He did one more glance around and stopped at the red haired man sitting in the middle of the couch. “Kirishima. What are you doing?”
“Yip!” Kirishima jolted upon hearing his name. His legs were stretched straight so that his heels were firmly resting on top of the table, but it didn’t help ground him at all. If the sweat pooling his forehead didn’t make it obvious, his posture certainly did. A steel rod couldn’t compare to how stiff his back was, and trembling hands cupped his crotch shakily. Clearly, he was up to something. “Uh, nothing, sir!”
“Let me see your hands,” his professor asked, thinking there would be something the man was hiding in his palms. He didn’t put it past his students to try sneaking prohibited items into the dorms. So long as it wasn’t a weapon, he didn't care quite frankly. Still, the atmosphere in the room left a lot to be desired, so he pushed forward with his investigation. Kirishima shakily moved his hands and Aizawa stiffened. “...What is that?”
They all trailed their eyes to awkwardly stare at Kirishima’s lap.
There was a slight bulge in his pants from where the garment had balled up, but the size and shape was almost a criminal offence. Aizawa wasn’t one to pry, but it was obvious that there was something hiding in his pants.
The room was quiet until Todoroki broke it, lifeless as usual.
“Oh. I think that’s just his quirk, Sir.”
Aizawa slapped a hand over his eyes and sighed.
“Never in my life thought I would ask this, but...What are you hiding in your pants, Kirishima?”
Midoriya discreetly rolled his quivering lips into his mouth, but Bakugou wasn’t as considerate with his loud snort. Kirishima shot Bakugou a dirty look before shaking his head.
“Uh, it’s n-nothing!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Mr. Aithawa,” Kirishima bit his tongue by accident from how nervous he was.
Aizawa sighed heavily and walked away, letting them breathe a collective sigh of relief.
“Midoriya.”
Oh, no.
They all turned around and saw their professor had moved to stand directly behind the dark haired male.
Oh, no.
“What is Kirishima hiding in his pants?”
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Talk about strategy, he went straight for their weakest link! Bakugou discreetly shook his head at his childhood enemy, and made a slitting motion over his throat.
“I’m not going to ask again, Midoriya,” Aizawa stared at him sternly.
“Eep! He’s hiding a size __, black, lace thong in his pants, Mr. Aizawa!” Midoriya slapped a hand over his mouth, and everyone’s eyes widened. Aizawa from not expecting it, and the others from the amount of detail he just went into.
The world shook under the weight of Aizawa’s sigh. He headed straight for the exit of the dorms, not even bothering to check their appliances. The entire way there, he mumbled something along the lines of, ‘be a teacher Mic said…’
Four sets of eyes followed him to the exit, and only when they were sure that the coast was clear did Kirishima quickly pull the garment out of his pants. Throwing it on the table carelessly, his entire face rivaled his hair from how warm the thong got whilst inside his clothing. His entire body was practically an anchor by now, sinking under the stress he had just been put through, making him melt into the couch.
“No fucking way,” Bakugou said rashly. He chuckled lowly and pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes, his grating laughter only growing in volume. Kirishima used whatever energy he had left to glance over at the uncharacteristic display while Midoriya and Tododroki stared openly at the ticking time bomb.
Surprisingly enough, Bakugou wiped a few humorous tears from his eyes and got up while pointing a finger towards his classmate. “Is that your quirk too?”
Bakugou snorted one last time and walked off to go upstairs while the three remaining men followed where he had just pointed.
“Oh!” Kirishima blushed wildly, Midoriya squeaked, and Todoroki raised an eyebrow at the firm lump that had started to form where the hidden thong had been just seconds ago, the outline too pronounced and smooth to be considered a part of his quirk.
“I’m beat, guys. You finish watching the rest without me,” Sero got up and stretched out his lazy limbs before stumbling off in the direction of the elevator.
“Yeah, I think I’m gonna head in too now,” Kaminari faked a yawn before darting after Sero, yelling over his shoulder, “have fun cleaning up!”
“Wha- guys!” Kirishima turned to stop them, but the room had already cleared out. The mess of empty cans and wappers littering the floor was definitely more than a one man job. Hell, they even left behind the empty pizza boxes! Kirishima groaned and took off the TV. Better start now if he wanted to finish anytime before dawn.
Luckily, it didn’t take too long before the living room was passable for habitation. Spotting one last empty candy wrapper poking out from underneath the table, Kirishima dropped to his knees to retrieve it. He was only an inch away when soft whispers slithered into his ears. He’d seen one horror movie too many during their weekend marathon and was ready to assemble the entire 1-A to do some Ghostbusting when he caught on to just what was being whispered.
“Go get it already. I heard them take the elevator up,” a low voice commanded.
“Me?! Why do I have to get it?!”
Kirishima froze as he recognized your voice. He blushed lightly when he thought of the new blouse you donned earlier, but quickly waved the mental image away. He needed to focus!
“Because it’s yours,” your male counterpart reasoned.
Kirishima tilted his head in confusion, his freshly washed hair almost serving as a mop for the dust bunnies on the ground. With a quiet gasp, he quickly pieced together what the two of you were talking about and gulped. Glancing up at where the thong was on the table, he panicked. You were coming to get it now?! He couldn’t let you two see him! That would be way too embarrassing!
As quietly as he could, Kirishima shuffled to lay on the floor and slid himself under the table.
The footsteps got closer and it made your voice all the more distinct to his red ears.
“I don’t care if it’s mine, you’re the one who put it in your pocket! You should have been more careful to not drop it!”
“Well, excuse me. I was busy trying to balance you against the wall while trying not to slip. I would never forgive myself if I dropped you,” The last part was mumbled quieter than the rest and Kirishima’s eyes widened before he heard a quiet ‘aw.’ Soft and wet sounds of lip meeting lip echoed in the now empty room and Kirishima swore he would join in with that symphony of noises soon if his pounding heart didn’t pipe down. Luckily, after a few moans and sighs, the kissing ceased.
“You’re still not off the hook. Go get it for me.” There was a pause and Kirishima could only assume whoever was with you was rolling their eyes before he heard a loud slap.
Kirishima gasped quietly. Right as his knee bent to push himself up so that he could give a piece of his mind to whoever just dared lay a hand on you, he heard a needy moan that had him literally drop dead to the floor.
“Stop acting like such a brat,” the deep voice was muffled and Kirishima willed his breaths to quiet down when you whined in response.
“Mmm, but please go get it? Can you do that for me, baby?”
There was another spank, though significantly softer this time, and a sigh.
“Fine.”
The footfalls approaching the table pounded like a drum in Kirishima’s well trained ears despite it actually being as light as a feather. Whoever was coming to retrieve the thong could be an assassin with how light their steps were! Wait- This wasn’t the time for that! Judging by the sound of the spanking earlier, he definitely did not want to get caught either. Bringing his knees to his chest, Kirishima cursed softly when his clothes made a swiping noise from brushing the bottom of the table.
The figure walking towards Kirishima paused momentarily, feet right in front of his face now.
The redhead wanted to peek out from under the table but he was scared of getting caught. Instead, he racked his brain to try and place where he had seen those socks before. Wears plain, white socks and walkes quieter than a mouse, huh?
He waited a few minutes in sheer anxiety after he heard the elevator go up before climbing out and dusting off his clothing.
Oh, right! The wrapper!
He bent back down to snatch up the trash and went to throw it out when he heard that same deep voice from earlier, though it was tinged with something darker now.
“Kirishima.”
Kirishima froze in place. There wouldn’t happen to be another ‘Kirishima’ in the dorm, would there? He thought the pepperoni pizza from earlier would come up from how badly his stomach churned. Still, he had to face the facts, so he turned with a nervous smile on his face.
Despite his classmate’s harsh visage, the blow was softened by the slightly twisted and rumpled night shirt he wore. No doubt his rare sloppy apparel was the result of the frisky movements he had engaged in with you just moments prior. Kirishima trailed his gaze upwards and froze at the intensity in those mismatched eyes.
“Todoroki! Hey, buddy! Come down to watch some late night television? There’s a real gnarly documentary I saved on the DVR if you wanna watch it!” Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck nervously and smiled as if he hadn’t just overheard the man in front of him engage in light foreplay.
Todoroki looked down at him, arms crossed over his broad chest and thoroughly unamused. He walked closer and Kirishima couldn’t help but notice how messy his hair was, the paler half being bathed with strands of red and vice versa. Even his thin lips showed slight signs of swelling. These perverse observations were cut off by Todoroki’s stern warning.
“Not that you will ever be in another situation that warrants it, but don’t touch any of my girlfriend’s undergarments again.”
Kirishima gave him a rapid nod and Todoroki returned it before walking off. He paused at the doorway with tense shoulders, voice doing nothing to hide his anger. “Also, if you ever think of her in a way that causes you to become aroused again, we’re going to have a problem.”
Kirishima blushed deeply when he thought back to his boner on the couch.
“Heh, don’t worry about it, man! I hear you loud and clear!” Kirishima laughed bashfully and raised a cheerful fist in the air, but Todoroki had already started making his way towards the elevator. “Trust me, bro! I won’t let it happen a third time!”
Kirishima nodded resolutely to himself and went to throw away the forgotten wrapper. Only after disposing of it, did he hear a small crash followed by an incredulous voice.
“‘A third time’?!”