Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1:32 a.m. Washington

She didn't want to do this, she really didn't.

She had to something though. Her dad was getting antsy and she'd already heard him speaking to her mother over the phone: it was only a matter of time before they tried to pack her up and send her back to Arizona and, failing that, a "special camp" for people with "special problems".

A week, she had a week until he decided to pull the plug, a week to get 'close' to her and see if he could "fix" something.

He wouldn't, her father wasn't much of a talker, emotional or otherwise. The best he could do was interrogate with his cop voice, but he'd never used that with her; they'd never did much talking to each other anyway, they were cut from the same cloth, preferring to communicate with nods and grunts.

He'd said it to get her mother off his back, her mother who lived from one season to the next, her mother who'd never had her heartbroken and could hardly understand her own daughter despite living with her for nearly her entire life.

Her father was the one, who'd gotten his heart broken when they split, when she left, her father was the one who'd cried and cursed at the wind; had he gone through something like this and hoped she would make it through the way he had, she felt a small rush of affection for the awkward surly man.

She stared down at the ancient cord lined phone in front of her

She didn't want to do this, but she wanted to be sent away from Forks even less. She wouldn't be able to bear it. If she left now, away from where he had been, there'd be no proof he existed. That he had ever been real at all; he'd taken it all with him, pictures, letters, the odd clothing item, all of it, he took with them.

(Sometimes she thinks she'd gone crazy; that it was all in her head, and like a lonely child moving to a new home who'd invented the perfect family to make up for her own lackluster one, a perfect lover to accept and compliment her for all her inadequacies.)

But she can usually stop that line of thought before the hyperventilating starts by looking around and seeing all the people that remember him too.

If she leaves now she won't be able to do that, won't be able to confirm her very reality, and then... then they'll really have to have her put away.

This was the least intrusive option she could find on such short notice; it came to her by happenstance of fate (like he had) blown in on a flyer from another state entirely.

A website with a short survey and a description of services; something she could point out to her parents that she was getting help (help wasn't what she needed what she needed was) and didn't need to leave.

It was an answer to her prayers.

Teens Help Teens, a hotline for young people going through various problems that let them talk to each other instead of an adult, a first step before more serious therapy was needed.

She had filled out a small survey on her ancient computer and was given a number to call with a teen whose crazy apparently matched her crazy.

She'd been staring at the phone for over 40 minutes, having already procrastinated for a majority of the day; she didn't have the courage to make the call earlier during its cold light.

She didn't want to do this.

She did not want to bear her soul to anyone else, to pick at old (but not healed, never healing) wounds.

She didn't want to have some older man in a doctor's office in Phoenix talk at her while she tried not to have a break down in public either.

She picked up the phone.

She nearly hung up after the first two rings, got her nerve back by the third, prayed it was too late at night and that no one would answer by the fourth and had her hope dashed when it was answered midway through the fifth.

"Welcome to the depressed teens of America hotline, my names Danny and I'll be your mentor this fine night. To whom am I speaking?" said a cheerily sarcastic voice that only a teenager could master.

There was a long pause when she didn't answer, before Danny's voice appeared again, a touch softer and noticeably lacking sarcasm, "you don't have to tell me your real name if you don't want to", he crooned low and almost gentle, with a sympathy that said 'I know how you're feeling', "you don't even have to talk after you say a name, trust me I can speak for both of us... but I'd kinda like to have something to call you while I'm jabbering on."

Another pause long pause, the boy waited patiently.

"...Bella. My name is Bella"

Chapter Text

Danny hadn't been lying when he said he could talk for both of them; since that first conversation three days ago, she'd gotten used to the fact that Danny could and would talk about any and everything.

He reminded her of Jessica, if Jessica were a male, less vapid, more witty, and came from a small town that actually had interesting things happen because unlike Forks is was a tourist town.

"That's around the time Tucker decided it would be a good idea to flirt with biker dude's girlfriend, if I was any less of a good friend I would have let him suffer the ass kicking alone"

Danny groused.

"Alone?", Danny, she had learned while a terrible liar could be very particular with his words.

"I tried to back him up and got to suffer with him" Danny droned with false cheer

As Danny had told her, the purpose of the call center was to let teens "bitch and moan" with people who couldn't and wouldn't know anything about them, who had their own problems,

and as such wouldn't judge.

'Why deal with all the teenage angst and bitterness, when they can just make the teens turn it on themselves' Danny stated dryly that first day, 'They already know we're not going to tell them anything of significance anyway.'

It became pretty clear after day two that Danny was using her as a personal diary to grumble about all the little injustices in his admittedly kind of messed up life.

"You didn't tell anybody?" she asked more to say something than for actual care of his life; it was a skill she was slowly picking up to make her seem more involved and less (broken, dying, incomplete) out of it.

Her dad at least had noticed the small almost insignificant change, given the way he tended to stop and stare every time she responded to something he said.

She winced, 'This was the point, make herself seem fine so she could stay a little while longer, it wasn't her fault she was so broken, she shouldn't feel guilty'

Her conscience didn't care for her reasoning

"Who would I tell?" he asked dryly "The dude's girlfriend laughing at us, my parents who sent me to my room for the night three hours ago, the cops who hate me, school teachers who'd question why I was there and tell one of the previous two?"

Fact number two she had learned about Danny was he didn't trust adults or authority figures in general.

Apparently Danny was involved with something that got him into a lot of fights, had him skipping school, and basically made everybody in school think he was on drugs because he always showed up to class pale bruised and red eyed.

She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about the fact she was talking to a delinquent, no matter what he called himself.

'How did I get here, talking with some trouble-making head case' she thought a touch harshly, but she didn't feel like being fair anymore, she'd been more than fair her whole life, 'for what, to have an excuse to stall being in the same town I met the man who (didn't want, hates, left, gone, gone, gone) dumped me?'

Because interesting stories and witty dialogue aside, Danny had problems; real not teenage problems. He got into fights, gave advice to criminals when said criminals weren't mugging him or causing problems around the town, he had issues with his parents, he had a creepy uncle who hated his father and flirted with his mother and constantly tried to discredit his parent's work, he had a runaway homeless cousin that he let sleep in his closet and to top it off he had a grand total of two friends one he was currently having issues with. Problems

"I don't know how to help you Danny" she finally replied tiredly and wanting to end this mandated conversation.

"…You don't have to" come his reply, "I wasn't asking for your help"

"…Oh", had she zoned out again and missed something?

"…Listen, Iz"

"Bella" she corrected automatically, regretting the day she'd made the mistake of telling him her full name, he apparently had a thing about giving people nicknames.

"Listen" he continued on as if he hadn't heard her, "I know why you're so reluctant to talk"

"I doubt that" she snapped trying to cut that line of conversation

"Um chello girl, have you forgotten your talking to the spokesperson for Teen Angst United, I know about not wanting to have to talk."

She conceded to the point that he probably did, though still silently maintained her situation was different.

"And I know you think your situation is special, and it probably is" he said picking the answer from her head, reinforcing the idea that he knew what he was talking about, "But you don't have to talk to me about the big stuff, not everybody is a big stuff talker, I wasn't"

'Could've fooled me'

"Your probably thinking could have fooled you right"

'Is he a mind rea-(pain, broken, not whole, Ed-) THAT' she thought sarcastically, 'wouldn't matter my heads too messed up to read anyway'

"My sister forced me to do this, so I decided to be a sarcastic ass or blatantly lie about any and everything they told me" Danny continued on, "My so called mentor thought my name was Tom, and I used that as more of an excuse to ignore him while he talked"

'…I should've thought of that' she thought, thinking about her stupid nickname. Despite the sarcasm of her thoughts she was paying close attention to his words.

"Eventually I had a day, one of the bad ones, the ones where life just seems to do its best to beat you down and stomp on you while you're there, y'know"

'She knew, God how she knew'

Cold forest, cut on her finger burning like the James' scar, pain and darkness and "I don't want you"

"So I snap at the dude and let it him and his helpful ass feel it" Danny continued, "I told him how angry I was all the time, I told him how terrified I was of what that anger would do to my future, I told him how I was always such a freaking outcast, that I walk around every day feeling half dead and that sometimes I want to just get it over with and finish off that other half because all these human emotions were killing me. Because my 'not rightness' in the head was driving me INSANE!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

" Y'know what he said" Danny asked after a long moment when neither one of them spoke

She didn't answer

"He said that I could if I wanted to"

"What!?" she couldn't hold back the shocked emotion in her voice, her throat scratched from lack of using such high octaves.

On the phone Danny laughed

"Yeah that was what I was thinking too, along with, 'is this guy serious'?" Danny chuckled like it was a fond memory, "I could hear how uncomfortable he really was, but he told me he was just some guy from Cincinnati, with a former drinking problem and a deadbeat mom and a dead dad, he couldn't do anything to stop a guy whose real name he probably didn't even know."

"…"

"But, but if I wanted to vent at someone, talk about things I couldn't say to anyone else to a guy who wouldn't say anything to anyone else, who didn't have preexisting standards of me, then he was my guy."

"…That's, actually kind of mature" she finally got out

"So you see Iz"

"Bella" she corrected

"So you see" he ignored, "You don't have to worry about sounding crazy, or that I'll do something you don't want, or even if it's something mystical like you happen to be a demon hunter" she slightly choked at the last one, "I'll listen, but more importantly we don't have to talk about the big 'IT' right now, we all have our snapping point, but for now how about you just tell me about your day?" he finished before remaining silent.

"…"

"…"

"…It rained"

She could hear the smile in his voice when he responded,

"I'd love to hear about that"

Chapter Text

Talking to Danny is hard; she has never been an especially social person and speaking her thoughts aloud has always been hard, but what little social skills she did possess have long since faded. The fact that she's done little but waste away for the last several months doesn't particularly help her repertoire of conversation topics, but the important thing is that Danny makes her actually want to talk.

"Hey Iz, y'know how your like clichély good at doing typical stay at home mom housework?"

It was something she had mentioned to him the other day, or rather she had told him the list of chores she did one of which happened to include making dinner for her dad, and they'd commiserated over the fact that there parents couldn't make a safe meal to save their lives; though he seemed to put a certain amount of stress on the fact that he was afraid his parents' food could actually kill him.

"I know how to do housework… I don't know if I'm… like… especially good at it" she managed to get out somewhat awkwardly, which was better than their first couple attempts.

Danny was very patient about it all for someone who claimed he had a terrible temper, but she supposed that was one of the things he'd been working on.

He was still snarky and sarcastic, and even lightly made fun of her boring talk about there being an hour more rain today then there was yesterday or bringing up chores as a topic; but he never stopped trying to include her in the conversation, never mentioned the long pauses in her speech, or the even longer pauses when she has to get her breath back because something inevitably would remind her of (left, gone, pain) more negative things.

He never once presses for why it is she's on this hotline in the first place either.

"Great" he soldiered on as if they didn't just have to wait an hour for her to get a sentence out, "purely hypothetical question, how do you get a red, with maybe small bits of green, stain out of a T-shirt. I asked my only other chick friend, but she read me the riot act about women's rights, even though we both know Tucker is inept and a fashion disaster on top of that. Which all escalated into another argument by the by. I also don't trust google."

"Not Jazz?" She mentions the frequently talked about sister; she doesn't ask why he apparently doesn't trust the internet.

Fact number 5 about Danny; he's somewhat reasonably (and definitely unreasonably) paranoid about a lot of things and has major trust issues because of it.

Also on the list are circuses, gorillas, authority figures, his own refrigerator, his dad without fudge, anything dealing with his Uncle- understandably, and near the top of the list are- not surprisingly- psychiatrist.

"…She'd ask where I got the stain" he says very slowly and deliberately, and she already knows she's not supposed to ask.

She knows Danny well enough by now to know that he probably got his shirt stained in a fight, that the green might be from grass but the red is definitely (red eyes, feed) blood.

"Lemon and seltzer water" she answers promptly, she once had a vested interested in keeping blood stains of any kind away even before; she then continues whispering the next part, unsure how he will take it, "…or you can just wear red"

"…I'll think about it." He answers after a pause, and to her relief he only sounds appreciative of her silent concern, and she really doesn't know why she feels good about helping a delinquent hide the fact that he's getting hurt from his family.

No, that's a lie she does know, it's because she cares about these little mostly one sided talks.

It takes a while for her to figure it out, but he treats her like she's normal, not the fragile (crazy, suicidal, dumped) doll that everyone, especially her dad, thinks will fall to pieces the moment they try to interact with her.

…Granted she hasn't wanted any interaction previously, but being treated like she's normal makes her for the first time in a long time want to feel normal. Listening to Danny laugh, even through whatever insanity he's dealt with in the past (and is obviously still dealing with) makes her want to reach that point too.

"So" he says abruptly changing the subject, "What have you been up to today?"

She allows it, eager to rack up viable evidence of her "getting help", too selfish to let things like his possible safety come in the way of her own needs...

"Nothing" comes her quick reply

"You said that yesterday, and then we found out that you were Rachel Ray"

"That's not what I said"

"So Iz, what hidden talents are you hiding from the world?" he stressed her nickname, having found if he said it like that enough times she would eventually stop correcting him, it didn't stop the short pinch of a mini headache every time he did it.

What hidden talents are you hiding from the world, huh?

'I could ask you the same thing'

She won't, it will affect the silent no questions rule they both adhere to, because she knows whoever breaks it will have to offer up answers in return, and she doesn't quite care enough about life to breach that one precious rule yet, she's not involved enough in the world enough yet.

She might never be, the wound is still and it shows no sign of healing there (she doesn't want it to heal, want it to fade, she doesn't want to forget), but Danny's putting a band aid over it.

She's starting to learn to ignore it, to live-function- on with it; it might not be healthy, but who in the world has the right to tell her these things.

"…I used to take ballet?" she finally states more as a question than anything

There's a long pause

"No. Freaking. Way. GIVE ME THE DEETS!"

At least she's not alone anymore

Chapter Text

"So wait let me see if I got this straight" he says slowly, and she waits patiently for whatever snarky spin he's going to put on the description she just gave about her friends, "Lauren hates you because she likes Tyler, who likes Mike, but is pretending to like you because he's not ready to come out yet, am I following so far?"

"Yep" she responds amused

"Ha, that's what she gets, biatch" he snarks childishly, and she likes that someone will voice these more negative thoughts about her so called 'friend', Angela's too kind and the boys just think she's hot.

"So anyway Jessica hate-likes you (seriously, you girls are so fuckin cutthroat, just hate openly like dudes) because she likes Mike who likes her back, but instead is focusing his
attention on you (because he's a teenage guy and therefore a dumbass), am I still following?"

"All girls are like that, some just hide it better from you males" she said in a dry tone, before raising an eyebrow at the idiot comment "And you know you're a teenage guy too right"

"I'm a badass Iz, any idiocy exhibited just becomes part of the charm" she rolled her eyes, but a tiny smile still quirked at the edge of her lips; she'd been doing that lately.

"Right so, Angela likes you (thank god for that cause you needed some real friends, your current circle is just damn depressing) and Ben (a.k.a tool) does too because he does what his girlfriend says… and there's some guy name Eric who's just there, but nobody gives a shit about Eric (because fuck that guy), and that completes the list of people you talked to."

"I also talked on the phone to a sarcastic head case with a criminal record" she retorted back, then immediately cringed; for a moment there's no sound and she thinks she's gone to too far, when she hears him start snickering

"Oooh Izzy Fizzy Watts-"

"No" she interrupts, because seriously?

"-Has got some snark, *sniffle, sniffle* I'm so proud" he fake chokes up

"What does that even mean?"

"Nobody knows what it means! But it's provocative!"

They've finally moved on to subjects that don't deal with the things she does when she gets home, Danny has asked what she does for the "Seven plus hours of hell on Earth", so she's decided to tell him about 'the old gang'

Part of her knows they're running out of 'safe' topics, worse, she has a terrible feeling that she's going to be the one to break their silent truce, her inability to leave a secret alone will drive this peace away.

She's always been observant, it's how she discovered (cold skin, hand on dented car, legends beautiful, dazzle) the Cul-them. Some things in Danny's stories don't all exactly make sense; she had no idea what town in the world has so many fights in broad daylight that would require him to leave during class in with no law enforcement taking action, or why his two friends who supposedly are aware of these fights never get directly involved but always help patch him up after, or perhaps most importantly why Danny is so adamant about keeping it all a secret?

Danny refused to tell anyone about it except his sister and friends, which was how she discovered he was so particular about his words; even jabbering on a mile a minute, Danny rarely gave out concrete details that could in anyway be traced. His dedication almost made her want to try something similar with Ed-

'NO' cue violent shiver, (don't say his name, don't think, let the blackness pass, too much pain)

-him.

She might think he was lying, but Danny has admitted to being a terrible liar (she's heard some of the excuses he's given to teachers- seriously the bathroom?), and they have an unspoken rule to tell the truth. They can avoid speaking and parse words till the sun rises, but they tell the truth.

"What did you guys talk about today" he asks, his tone like always is like he's testing ice; she's been incredibly vague about what it is that bothers her, but he's learned to avoid most of the taboo subjects mostly by listening to her silences.

"We don't talk" she replies evenly, it's not a forbidden topic, just an uncomfortable one.

"I haven't talked to them since… since before I… since before" she's not Danny, she can't think of a way to say a billion different things without saying anything.
He could go through a whole conversation about his workaholic parents and never say a negative word for her to know that they were negligent, he was terrified of them finding out about the fights, and that he had serious communications issues with them.

He was that good a conversationalist, which is why when she started stumbling he put her out of her misery.

"So you haven't spoken to them since the before" he said kindly, "you ever wonder what their up to?"

He didn't ask why she stopped speaking to them, which she was thankful for, but now that she thought of it, if there was ever a way to seem more involved fast it was to go out and do something with her old friends. She thought she had enough social interaction practice to at least start up a conversation with them; Angela at least would want to go on a social outing with her.

"…I can see tomorrow", it would be Friday

"Geeze, I'm not forcing you Iz, you can stay a gross smelly recluse if you want"

"Bella" she groused, more for the smell comment than the name, she didn't smell… did she?

"Iz" he corrected her on her name, "sorry I just always pictured you that way given how your voice sounds like sandpaper; just make sure you look presentable"

"I'm not a child Danny"

"I know, I'm just so proud of my baby girl going out into the world." He sniffled dramatically

"Shut up, it'll be the movies at most."

"… You ever seen FacePunch?

Next Chapter Danny POV

Chapter Text

He's at school when he gets the call from the quiet girl he's been talking to every night for the past week.

For a brief moment he's not quite sure what to do; their conversations have always happened under the cool veil of night where all secrets (lies, disappointment, burden, more and more) should be kept.

He's never told her where he lives, and he's 99% sure she's not aware of exactly how far ahead he is time-wise or how late her calls come, otherwise she might question what it is he's doing up at 3:30 at night on a Tuesday (tired, can't stop, protect protect protect).

He makes an excuse to his friends and ignores Sam's suspicious glance at how he's protectively cradling the phone; he's really getting tired of being stuck in this sort of 'half relationship.'

They didn't make the transition between friends and something more smoothly; what with his extracurricular activities (fight, tired, pain, excitement, pain, protect protect protect) bringing them too close too fast while also providing a wedge between them, and now they were getting burned by flame that should've fueled them.

'Man I'm only eighteen, still a teenager, I'm not ready for all these complex relationship (Valerie, I'm sorry, protect protect protect) problems', he thinks opening his phone to the only girl who he doesn't have relationship problems with.

"Iz-tanbul?" he asks questioningly

"I don't I can't I do this…I'm I'm I'm not you… I don't just… their practically strangers" he hears her stammer into his ear, and for another second he's utterly lost on what the heck she's talking about.

"You wanna run that by me again Iz, I think you're breaking up" he sarcastically refers to her stuttering

"Shut up Ass, this is your fault" she says even as she listens and takes that breath of air.

Ah, there's the kitten that thinks itself a tigress

It had been utterly hilarious to him how someone so clearly recluse and even shy had such an easy to rile up temper. Then there was the fact that her insults where usually so… not childish per say, but genuinely innocent compared to most of the filth that came out of teenagers these days. This was partly what made it so hilarious the few times she cursed, or like now, calling him an Ass.

"I don't think I've committed any crimes in Washington Iz, most of my cross country or international acts of quote unquote 'delinquency' aren't usually rooted back to me because of how little time I stay outside of my hometown." He answered honestly ignoring the dirty look he was given by a passing teacher.

'What was this (ungrateful, useless, you didn't help me) lame excuse for an educator doing eavesdropping on a kids conversation anyway?'

"Why am I not surprised" she says dryly and he bites his lip from saying something sarcastic, because he knows a deflection technique when he hears one, he's certainly given enough of them.

"What do you need?" he asks in a measured tone both reassuring and stern; he's dealt with "people" a lot more emotional than Isabella 'Black smudge' and has learned that he can't pressure people nor can he sound like a pushover.

"Talk me into going to talk to my friends" comes her answer and now all the stuttering makes since.

He has to stop himself from making a joke about her "friends", air quotes very much intended, being a nest of viper snakes that honestly remind him more of the A-list than it probably should, until at least after she's gone to talk to them at least once.

Instead he stops and gives it some serious thought; people say put yourself in someone else's shoes all the time, but actually putting it into practice is far harder than one might think, especially with his own growing list of psychosis.

'Search inside and find a way to manipulate your biologically ingrained obsessions (protect protect protect, human, fight, Danielle, don't cheat, survive, protect protect protect) to give you the courage'? he thinks to himself dryly at his own courage gaining method.

Somehow he doesn't think that'll fly...

Still motivation is what she needs, which may not be a pep talk- he always hated those, Thank You Jazz- so what can turn the kitten into a tigress.

"Sure stop being some whiny teenage angst machine and get it over with you scaredy cat" he says pissing her off obviously.

"I'm not-" he can hear her gritting her teeth, which meant no nervousness

"Mooo, CHICKEN, MOOO!" he cuts her off as obnoxiously as possible

"CHICKENS DON'T MOO!" Iz shouts and his inhuman hears her die of embarrassment not two seconds later, "help me" she whispers mortified.

Aw, damn that probably would have worked on prideful Sam or Valerie, but guess she's not there yet, so instead he laughs and moves on to plan B.

"Chill out Izze soda"

"Bella" Iz interrupts unnecessarily and quite rudely in his opinion

"Gesundheit" he answers back just as quickly and hears her silent glower, "Just do what you do when you talk to me, you're not afraid to call me an Ass to my… voice, we should really exchange pictures."

"I can't see you" Iz replies ignoring his add on

"Would it matter if you could." He asks "Now get over there and stand your ground, I doubt you care about their opinions anyway and what right do they have to make you feel out of place."

He hears her take a breath before he releases the tension, "Besides if they hate you, then you can continue talking to the sexy voice only you can hear"

"More like baritone and echoey" she grumbles back and he laughs to hide his slight nervousness at her description of his voice.

"Baritone (red eyes, flame hair, wail) is Sexy" he replies and she snorts

"…Thanks Danny" she mumbles out

"Anytime kid" he calls her despite knowing their probably the same age. In body only.

Protect protect protect

“Anytime”

Chapter Text

The following happens the night Bella goes to the movies and has her first Edward vision

Surprisingly despite his relatively dangerous and anxiety filled life, fear itself is not something he feels terribly often. Or rather more accurately, fear is not something he has neither the luxury nor the time (keep going, can't stop, protect protect protect) to allow himself to feel.

Fear is a mind killer (Fright Knight, blade to the chest, soul shredder) it makes you react. He's not a juggernaut, he can't afford to be reacting, he has to be able to think, plan, analyze.

If he can't think then he makes mistakes and it's not just him who pays for it (red eyes, family trapped, Danielle melting, Valerie raging, pain, pain pain).
Isabella Swan is scaring him right now.

"So… you didn't go see FacePunch?" he asks awkwardly, it's a terrible question, but he's afraid and reacting, and grasping at whatever he can reach.

There's a moment of silence

"…Jess didn't want to see it" Iz finally mumbles, it takes her forever to respond and she hardly seems aware of the words that fall out of her mouth; the despondency in her voice does not abide his fears.

It's nearly five a.m., he stayed up all night for her call(sunrise, is she safe, protect, protect, protect) he aches and feels physically sick and a part of him somewhat hates her for making him lose the little amount of rest his body will allow him to claim, for rousing his obsessions(protect protect protect) like this, for having him so wrapped around her though he knows Iz couldn't possibly know who she's reminding him of so badly right now

("you can try", "whatever you say TeenAngst", "I got you").

Her answers are stilted in a way that they hadn't even been back in the oh so painful beginning; the beginning where it was a chore just to get her to say her name, the beginning where he had to talk like his mouth was on fire cause he had no idea what was bothering her and he needed to find something, anything, that would connect with this kid, the beginning when his obsession tagged her as something that was in desperate need of his help and protection(broken, kitten, sandpaper voice, protect protect pro-)

"Wanna hear about the time my sister accidently shot me?" he asks a little desperately, for the shock value, because no one sane can ignore a statement like that no matter how distracted; words like 'shoot', 'shot', 'gun', 'sex', 'money' are conversational trigger words.

He dares not interrogate her out right, because he knows if he just straight up points out that something is wrong she'll clam up tight and never open up again. She might not even call him up ever again, and then his obsession will take over and he'll act like a crazy stalker boyfriend and ask Tuck to track her down and that's after he blows up her phone and gets himself a restraining order.

He knows this will happen

He know this, because this isn't even the first time this has happened; he once tried to help little Danielle with her own psychosis, after he stopped being silently disturbed by her presence, and she in turn indulged in one of her own obsessions and took off to the wind.

It had taken them months to get over that and even then the only reason she'd come back was the rational human part of her mind needed to have a few weeks of having a home (his closet was the closest thing she could claim) and feeling safe.

Fear made people react in ways that could be basically boiled down to fight (yelling, screaming, tears in the eyes, "Why won't you tell us where you're going!") or flight ("I hope we can still be friends", "You're not my Dad, Danny!", "I have to, they'd tear me apart molecule by molecule!")

Terror on the other hand makes people freeze; there is no reaction, and people just let outside forces take control of the situation because they're mind can't comprehend how to proceed, because fight and flight have been neutralized as options.

For Danny terror means turning off that human part of his mind, it means a creature of obsession and emotion takes control, it means shit so bad is happening that the boy who uses witty banter even when a gun is pointed to his face can't even think.

"… That's great Danny" Iz says in a tone like people, the world, and life itself is nothing but a distraction

He can't help but think about the last time he talked to that someone that he knew was in trouble like how Iz is in trouble (I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine) sounding so distracted.

…police department are you friends with… alcohol…news… we're sorry…

And Danny feels terrified

Chapter Text

She's not sure why she still makes these calls anymore, not when a new medicine-new drug

(his beautiful voice, concerned, loving, "keep walking")

-had made itself known to her. He comes when she is in danger, just like he'd always come to save her when she first started to imagine her perfect lover and family. As long as she finds a way to get her heart rate racing she can see him again and maybe if she finds a dangerous enough hobby he can be by her side all the time, just like before.

Part of her is horrified by this new train of thought, 'what are you doing Bella! He's not a dream, people remember him, your just in denial, he just left yo-', but she willfully ignores those thoughts.

In reality she doesn't really see a need to these continued conversations, but she continues making the call anyway; part of it is habit she's sure, another part is sure that she just can't fall asleep without the sound of his chatty baritone echoey voice lulling her like a lullaby (music, cold skin, beautiful voice).

A last hidden part of her is hoping he'll slap her out of whatever this sudden loss of lunacy is

"What happened then?" she asks after a significant silence stretches on, those have been happening more and more, or perhaps she just can't bring herself to pay as much attention when things are looking so up.

"… I watched by friends and family die in a burning inferno before time was rewound a couple of hours" he answers after a pause his voice dull, quiet, and sad.

She remembers Edward (and how joyous it is to be able to think his name again even if there's still a dull pain) hating the idea of her being on a motorcycle. She knows she can't afford a new, or even functional one, but knew there was a yard in Seattle that her father picked up a bunch of old car parts from. She could just use the money she had originally saved for college to buy something cheap and get someone to fix it up.

Wasn't Jacob (sunshine, crush, smile) the one who'd given life to her old red machine in the driveway, maybe he'd help if she could make it worth his while.

"That's great Danny" she replies after another long silence, but instead of immediately responding there's an even longer pause.

"…No… it's not Iz… it's really not" he eventually says in a dead tone she's never heard in the sarcastically optimistic boy, "have you heard a single word I've said Iz?"

She stops and thinks, she's been exceptionally rude calling him up and ignoring him, but it wasn't like he said anything about anything anyway.

"You got into a fight" she answers the most likely option given Danny seemed to have been born with either very poor luck and a great fate to get him into various serendipitous
situations or a crappy fate and the strangely good luck to survive it; Danny himself very rarely seemed to go looking for the trouble he got into.

"With whom?" he demands

"Sam?" it comes out more of a question than anything; most of his fights are physical against 'bad sorts', but considering some of the emotion in his voice she can assume it might have been a verbal one with his parents or friend Sam.

"No" Danny grits out between teeth, where was this hostility coming from?, "Not with Sam, but maybe with another annoying teenage girl.'

"Do you have something to say to me Danny?" she ask testily, she's no fool and has a very good idea of who the 'annoying teenage girl' he has issues with.

"If I did, you wouldn't hear it, too busy talking to whatever little memory you got running around in your head." He answers bitterly

'He can't know, he can't possibly know' 

"I thought someone like you would just be content to hear the sound of your own voice anyway" she retorts heatedly, she's always had a nasty temper when properly provoked and his comment cuts a little too close to home anyway.

"What the hell does that even mean!?" he shouts, his own temper isn't something to be ignored

"It's not like you care about this stupid program anyway, I'm just your personal diary to whine and moan about your problems!" she hisses, already knowing their treading into very dangerous territory. They keep their conversations light and unobtrusive for very good reasons

'Stop it' she begs herself, 'don't belittle his problems (hated, runaway cousin, fighting parents) you always go too far, don't go too far'

"Myself!" Danny shouts incredulously, "Do you really think I'd be up at 4:00 a.m. talking to a mumbling psycho if I was doing this for myself!"

The insult cuts far deeper than it should considering she's never confided much of her fears to him, but she has issues with being rejected (Edward, Cullens, Mom) and the fact that it is Danny ("I'd love to hear about that", "Total Fruit loop I'm telling you Iz", "I got you") makes it cut deeper.

"I'm here because I'm trying to help you!" Danny shouts, "That's what we do Iz, we help each other!"

"Oh please" she says in a venomous tone that sound too much like Lauren, arrogant, belittling, and infuriating, "Let's not pretend this is for anybody's help let alone yours you liar"

"What are you talking ab-"

"What town in the world has fights happen in broad daylight every day and its occupants are too stupid to notice your so called injuries" she throws out the chief of his inconsistencies, "who causes so much damage over and over again without law officials getting involved or even better, without you breaking your crazy fighting obsession if you hated it so much." She asks in a mocking tone that says she's calling bullshit on all his stories.

"I AM NOT A LIAR" he roars, triggered, she suddenly remembers Edward's erratic temper in the beginning, when she pried into his secrets and presses on

"YOU LIE TO EVERYONE YOU MEET'' she screams back, long past controlling her outburst; right now he's an obstacle, something trying to take her attention away from her new drug, she can't have that, she won't, she stabs where she knows it will hurt "Your parents, your teachers, your sister every time you tell her this program is helping your long list of psychotic issues, your best friend you don't have the BALLS to say you don't want her, to say you think she's a burden, to say YOU WANT TO LEAVE HER!"

There's a brief silence as she pants, her voice scratchy and tired, in the next room she hears her father moving around.

"…Sounds like someone's letting their own issues get the better of them." He says low and darkly and she stiffens at how close she's come to blurting it out.

"You don't know what you're talking about." She grumbles out defensively

"No. You don't" his voice low and cold, and then there's a dial tone as he hangs up

She clicks her own phone off and throws it across the room

*'Knock, Knock*

"Bella, kid, you up?" her dad asks

"I'm fine dad" she says quietly, then for the first time in three weeks puts her head in her knees and cries.

Next chapter Danny's side

Chapter Text

"No. You don't" he says low and cold before hanging up and lifts his hand in the air to chuck his phone in the air, but stops himself at the last minute and gently lowers the expensive little device to the grass.

His strength is too much to let his anger go like that and he's too old to throw tantrums like that; no, he'll do the adult thing instead.

Pace angrily while muttering to himself under his breath heatedly

"Who the- THAT BIIIIITshhhhhh!!" he roared, cutting the slur off at the last moment

Muttering under his breath wasn't doing it as far as getting his anger out.

"That's great Danny" he mocks in an imitation of her voice; he makes sure to make it as low and scratchy as possible as an extra insult- he sounds like a smoker and nothing like her.

'It's not like I thought she would pay attention to what I was saying after days of one word answers, which is why I told her that story to test her ...BUT STILL!' he clenched his fist harder and harder

"What if it had been something serious." he mutters in an ultimate show of teenage spite as he uses the old 'What if I had been dying speech' well aware of how he was being petty but not caring.

"What if I was confessing to her that I was thinking about kill-"

.

.

.

"I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE, JERRY THAT'S HOW I FUCKIN FEEL!" he screamed into the receiver, "I have one part of my mind SCREAMING in my head to do one thing, while the sane, SANE JERRY,part of my mind screams at the obsessive part! And it's all so much noise that I can't even THINK! AND SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO PUT ONE IN MY HEAD TO SEE IF IT'LL FINALLY QUIET DOWN UP THERE!"

.

.

.

He abruptly shook his head at the memory, but it served its purpose of killing most of his anger and he crouched to the ground digging his hands into the ground in frustration.

"Dammit Iz, you can't just…" he growled

"You Liar" Iz she'd called him, (lie is to deceive, cheat is to deceive, don't cheat, don't cheat, don't cheat)

"… my obsession you can't…"

"YOU LIE TO EVERYONE YOU MEET" (lie to family, hurt family, not protect, must protect protect protect)

"… to question my obsession… to attack it, it'll attack back" he muttered

'Though was it' he thought again, 'I called her a mumbling psycho because she ignored me, she was hurt'

"But I was scared" he tried to justify weakly, "I was scared, and the last time…"

.

.

.

"Jerry… are you listening man?" he asked a touch worried, Jerry had been so withdrawn lately

"…I'm here To- Danny, I'm never going to forgive you for letting me think that's your name." despite the lightness of the statement, his voice was distracted, disinterested

"…Jerry, you don't… sound alright man" he said shyly weakly,

"I'm fine Danny, I'm fine"

.

.

.

He'd let it go then even with his senses screaming at him(Not right, wrong, protect protect protect), but he'd been too nervous to pry, scared to see his rock was just as human and prone to weakness as anyone.

"I just didn't want a repeat of what happened the last time I held my tongue" he mumbled guilt starting to tear at him, "How was I supposed to handle something like that?"

.

.

.

"Y-you can do it if you want" Jerry stuttered out

"What" he couldn't contain his surprise cause what the heck, was this guy serious?

"Y-yeah, I'm just some guy from Cincinnati with an old habit of stealing my dead beat bitch mom's alcohol" Jerry continued, clearly trying to seem unaffected by his sudden rather  unstable confession, "I don't even know your real name s-so if you want to o-off yourself, I c-can't stop you Tommy boy."

It really was a terrible act of nonchalance

"Heh" he chuckled, looked like even the crazy dude thought he was crazy

"But if you want someone you don't have to bullshit too, Tom, someone who doesn't care what you've done, and has some issues himself to yell and bitch at when the voices become too much without consequence, then I'm your guy"

There was a moment of silence as he simply absorbed what this crazy dude was saying

"I-if you want" apparently his silence had made Jerry boy lose his confidence, "y-you really don't have to if you don't want to. I-if you're deadest on offing-"

"Jerry" he interrupted

"Gerald" Jerry unnecessarily corrected

"You're having a cool moment don't sabotage it"

"Oh" he sighed dejected, "Well thanks for calling me cool, Tom"

"…Danny, my name is Danny"
.

.

.

"Probably better than I did" he said as he thought about an amazing guy who'd handled a worse situation as a teenager younger than he was now.

'Whatever happened to teenagers simply having stupid teenage problems?' he thought with an exasperated sigh

"You don't have the BALLS to say that you don't want her"

"Oh yeah, their they are" he said sarcastically, before ultimately deciding to shove that crises where it belonged; buried and shunned until it exploded

Letting out a sigh he leaned back and watched the early morning joggers go about their day, the sun still barely kissing the sky; that made a full 24 hours without sleep in his worry for her.

At the thought he felt a small flicker of his temper reminding him that, yes there was a damn good reason he'd been so worried in the first place.

"She is not alright" he muttered out loud

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

'No you weren't you lying bastard'

.

.

.

"Are you friend of Mr. Basset" said the deep voice of the officer

"Yes, what happened to Jerry" worry starting to creep into him (Something Wrong, Protect protect protect)

"This was the last and most frequent number we could find on your friend's phone… I'm afraid I some bad news, there's been an accident. This morning he was in a car crash, there was alcohol in his system and paramedics couldn't save him time… I'm sorry"

.

.

.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

"That's great Danny" "Let's not pretend this is for anybody's help" "You don't know what you're talking about"

"No Iz, you don't know what you're talking about." He said closing his eyes

(Protect Protect Protect)

Eyes flashed green, he needed to talk to her

Chapter Text

Of all his traits he'd ever hoped for her to pick up during those nine months where he and his wife had been happy and dreaming towards the future of their little star, his intense ability to love and subsequently get hurt was never one of them.

(Maybe if I stopped eating at the diner she'll come back, "Let that flighty bitch go man", "Charlie, we need you man, please come back to us bro, heaven knows my wife and I can't raise the twins by ourselves)

He's nowhere near as oblivious as his daughter seems to believe he is, 'I'm the chief of police girl, you really don't think I notice you why you're leaving your window open at night, in breezy chilly Forks of all place'?

So he noticed that she lied to him about having friends she talked to at school.
So he noticed that she was not really getting over his (Bastard, Billy was right, Don't say his name she flinches) loss like she pretended when he was close to making an ultimatum
So he noticed when she eavesdropped on his conversation with Renee (lost, heart hurt, flighty woman) and the way her behavior started to actually change after he accidentally let her hear it.

And he notices the regression she's made in the last few days (distracted, not here, listening to his voice in her head). It started when she actually went to the movies with that Stanley girl, and he cursed himself for letting her go out where there were so many triggers for her.

'But she was so excited' he thought remembering the anxious dread on her face that counted as his baby girl's excitement, 'And I just wanted her to be better… DAMMIT, I should've listened to Billy and his superstitious nonsense'

A phone call interrupted his thoughts and he answered

"Chief Swan" he'd answered gruffly

"Hello Mr. Swan, this is Danny, I'm a friend of your daughter's" said a baritone echoey voice on the other end that made him immediately suspicious

"My daughter doesn't have any friends named Danny" he answered in his gruff 'Overprotective Dad' voice, 'Not more boys'

"No I don't think she'd mention me, especially after our fight." Danny said with a fake chuckle, and he could hear the guilt in the boy's voice.

"What did you do" he growled low and dangerous, if this punk had something to do with her regression… well he was the chief of police, he was sure he could make some evidence disappear.

"I shouted at her for not paying attention when I was talking" the boy answered bluntly and honestly

Ordinarily that alone would have been cause for a serious telling off, but he was chief of police for a reason and he was more than capable of reading between the lines. His daughter had had a "distracted" moment and this boy, who obviously had an idea about the Cullen situation, had called her out on it.

'That's more than I can ever say'

He could also make a quick calculation by the timing of the appearance of this new friend that he had something to do with her recent improvements, and so taking all that into account, he decided to give the boy the benefit of the doubt.

"Bella's at school, but you should already know that" it was only eleven o'clock, "Why did you want to speak to me?"

"… You're very observant; I see where she gets it from"

Along with too much else

"Yes I am, and you're stalling" he answered instead

"See where she gets the grumpiness from too" the boy 'mumbled'

"I can hear you"

"I know" the brat responded, before sighing, "Sorry, I'm not used to talking with adults who are…"

"Understanding, that take you seriously?"

"Not assholes about the fact that I'm an arbitrary amount of digits younger than them, but that works too"

He rolled his eyes

"...I need to talk to her, apologize." The brat said in a serious voice, that made his voice sound deeper, more assured, commanding.

'There's a story there that I'd like to hear one day, but first'

"I'll tell her you called" he said, waiting to hear how the brat would respond, how important this was to him.

"She won't call me back, and we both know it, Iz is-"

"Bella" he automatically corrected

"Iz" the brat corrected back obviously annoyed by the interruption, "is too stubborn for that, she needs help, and I really think I can give her that. And I need your help."

There was a long pause as he contemplated the youth on the other line's words, because despite growing up in another state with but a few weeks contact from him a year in all her life, his little girl still ended up too much like him for her own good.

And he was a man who knew himself; he remembered what he'd been like in those darkest days

"Charlie why don't you hold Rachel and Rebecca for a while Honey, I think they could use your company while we work on dinner?"
" Charlie man, you gotta get rid of this crap, she's not coming back and you're only killing yourself looking at it."

" Dammit Charlie GIVE HARRY THE FUCKIN GUN, IF YOU DO WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL USE SOME INDIAN VODOO TO BRING YOU BACK AND KICK YOUR ASS!"

He'd seen his daughter at her worst, but he'd be damned if he let her reach his worst

"… What do you have in mind?"

Chapter Text

Man this chapter was difficult to condense; I try to keep these to about 1,000 words and change

Chapter 10

The phone rang loudly in the house, neither of the two occupants moved to answer it.

For a moment there was an awkward atmosphere as she ignored her dad shifting uncomfortably, after a moment the phone stopped ringing and the silence that followed was deafening.

"Guess its six o'clock" her father said, and she knew he was giving her the look, but when she didn't respond the silence returned

Eventually she let out a huff and stood up from the table where they'd been enjoying a peaceful if awkward meal. Neither of them needed to check to see who had called, they both knew it was Danny.

The boy had stopped just outside of stalker mode, as he hounded their phone trying to get in touch with her for the last two weeks. Violating the admittedly unspoken laws of their conversations by calling during the day.He'd already spoken to her father several times and each time asked to speak with her; ordinarily her dad would have pulled his chief of police card and threatened him, but somehow Danny had endeared himself to the surly awkward man and even get him on his side.

Sometimes she could hear them whispering on the phone about her like a couple of old biddies; she knew it was about her because her dad always went quiet when she entered the room, and she knew it was Danny he was gossiping to because she'd heard him automatically try and correct the other person on her nickname, Bella.

She couldn't help but remember with some indignation the first time she'd introduced her dad to Ed- her boyfriend

'I'd feel betrayed if I didn't know how good a conversationalist he can be (I got you Iz, I'd love to hear about that)' but she shook her head of those thoughts.

"All right, let him in" the man said gruffly even as he 'casually' cocked the rifle he had been performing maintenance on

Now not only did she have to avoid an inanimate object, but her own father's imploring eyes("Kid sounds kind of sorry for whatever it is he said Bell's, maybe you should hear him out"); and since he'd somehow been obsessive enough to time her coming and goings from trial and error, he now knew when to call to coordinate when her Dad was there to give her guilt looks.

She didn't want to talk to Danny; partly because what he'd said hurt (mumbling psycho), partly because… well her reaction really was beginning to seems childish in the wake of his clear remorse and it had been too long for them to simply sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen.

Partly because she was afraid to have a real talk, to acknowledge that yes something was very wrong and she shouldn't continue on like this, that she needed to give him up… she wasn't ready for that.

"Bell" and she felt herself tense up as she prepared for a battle; for the last week since Danny started stalking their phone her Dad seemed to be gearing up for a Big Talk that he'd promised her mother he'd have with her weeks ago.

She cursed Danny for adding yet another awkward situation she didn't want to deal with.

This was roughly the fourth time that he'd geared himself up for the conversation, and in expert use of "reverse psychology" ("That's not how reverse psychology works Danny" "Don't question greatness Iz") she suddenly turned around and gave him her full razor sharp attention.

"Yeah dad?" she asked in an absurdly interested tone, like she was expecting whatever he was about to say was the most important thing she would ever hear in her life.

It never failed to make him loose his nerve-

"So before he can even lay into me for being late for like the thousandth time, I go 'Sorry Mr. Lancer, I understand my disruptions are inexcusable and I'll try not to do so in the future though I understand if you can't trust my word'. He had no idea what to do! He just sort of stuttered that as long as I understood the consequences hurt me or whatever, no detention since"

"That's just sounds like taking responsibility Danny" she said dryly at his 'incredible sure fire way to make adults back off'

"I know right!" he shouts, and she rolls her eyes at his enthusiasm, but can't keep the slow smile off his face, "It's amazing how little people do it, to the point that people no longer no know how to react to people who do. Score one for reverse psychology!"

"Danny that's still not-"

"SCORE ONE!"

"Bells you listening" and she has to shake her head clear of the memory of yet another of one of their talks.

It's an upside she never anticipated with him, mainly because the all engulfing pain (gone gone gone, not whole, hurts, Edwa-) prevented her from focusing on anything else, but Danny (echoey voice, "C'moooon Izzy Fizzy Watts", "I got you") did not inspire that kind of pain and so she was free to get lost in the memories of the person who had been steadily patching her up the last few weeks.

Even more unfortunately, the dazes she gets when remembering Danny are enough to remind her Dad of why he keeps trying to have this talk. Apparently the suddenness of this one has given him the courage to see it through and not chicken out at the possibility of her "icky teenage girl emotions".

Seeing she's been lost in thought he straightens up and repeats what he was saying

"What are you doing for Spring Break?" he asks in a strong voice like he's expecting a fight, and she actually blinks taken aback, this was not the talk she had been expecting.

"I was thinking about going to see the Blacks" she answers honestly and she knows her answer has surprised him, it would surprise her too, she never makes an effort to visit Billy or his son even as long as the two families have known each other.

"Oh" he blinks surprised and looks relieved for a moment, which doesn't make much sense; hadn't he been wanting to ship her off to Arizona at the first sign of her 'slipping'?

"Jacob's a good kid, I'm sure you all will get along fine" her dad continues, sounding more cheery than she's heard in a while.

Was the thought of her interacting with his friend's son really that exciting? And didn't she and Jacob always get along before?

"Yeah, well… I haven't hung out with them in a while… and I don't really feel like hanging out with my school friends."

It wasn't entirely a lie, even if her main reason for visiting was because she wanted to see if Jacob could fix the bikes she found.

At her statement her father immediately looks uncomfortable even as his eyes flicker towards the door, but before she can question it, the phone in the kitchen rings and the man is on his feet headed for it looking relieved.

Suspicious

"Right,right of course" he says rubbing the back of his neck still looking vaguely uncomfortable as he keeps his eyes on her while speaking.

She narrows her eyes, suspicions running through her head

'Is it Danny?' she thinks, before rolling her eyes and heading to the sink to start the dishes, 'Of course it is, why else would he be staring at her like that while talking'

"She's right here" he says, and she purses her lips at her dad's confirmation of who it is, "Uh Bella-"

"I don't want to talk to him" she automatically returns, not even letting him finish

"…Not that Bells, I was just going to suggest I finish the dishes" she turns to look at him curiously, while the man shifts on his foot.

Good investigator and chief the man may be, a smooth operator he was not

Did he want her out of the kitchen so he and his new "bro" can talk without her eavesdropping?

That's fine with Bella, she needs to do some homework now and get it out of the way so she can spend the rest of her Spring Break as she pleases.

Giving a passive nod, she turns and walks up to her room, only to freeze upon crossing the threshold

It only occurs to her after she enters that she hasn't been to her room at all today, not even to put her bag away which she uncharacteristically dumped on the couch upon arriving home from school. She realizes this, because of one difference to her room, specifically her desk.

There's a new computer on it, with a screen that's mostly flat and doesn't look like a T.V from the eighties; there's even a futuristic stylized 'f' on the side of the small box.

None of which are why she freezes

She freezes because on the screen is a black haired blue eyed teenager, with a phone to his ear, head rested on his palm, and a tiny grim smile on his lips. She doesn't know how she knows, but she knows, even before he opens his mouth and a familiar echoey baritone resonates around the room through brand new speakers.

"Yeah I see her Papa Bear, Ghost Boy signing out" he says before clicking the phone off not breaking eye contact with her in the slightest and tilting his head curiously at her.

For a moment there's silence, before Danny opens his mouth to speak

"… You know… it's rude not to return someone's call."