Work Text:
Tapping on the window sill to an imaginary beat, Mark sighed. Pale fingers feeling the chill through the window pane was mutually numbed by his own thoughts and the sound of the soft rain. He was getting old-not old enough to have a midlife crisis, then again he’s sure he has already had three of those this month, but old enough to figure out what to do with his life. Old enough to start something and run with it, old enough to find someone and run with them.
Is that really what twenty-seven-year-olds did? It seems either that or get addicted to drugs and Mark never was one for heroin, weed, or any of that stuff (his mom would have a heart attack), but he thinks he might fit in the first category. Already having a decent job- (who knew he was good enough to start legitimate songwriting right after college?) and hopefully already having someone to run with too.
Mark looked back at the unoccupied bed, Renjun having to leave early; something about a sale on paints and wanting to stop by Sicheng’s to try and bribe his way into getting new ‘Capezio’s’ for being a ‘wonderful friend’. The brown haired boy smiled, reminiscing to this morning where his boyfriend showed him the begging face that he claimed got him anything he wanted- which was ultimately true, Mark hated to admit. It was cute, he was cute. Mark already knew that he was in love, like really fucking in love and he wasn’t afraid to admit it at all- but there were moments that scared and overwhelmed him to hell and back.
“I can’t believe it’s raining on our anniversary,” Mark had sighed, it was their first anniversary and they had been stuck inside a dollar store just around the corner from their college, great.
“It’s not that bad,” Renjun sighed, fiddling with his light blue dress shirt and smiling at the older.
“You’re usually more optimistic than this, Lee.”
That was true, Mark crossed his arm and looked away disappointedly.
“Yea, but this is our anniversary, I wanted it to be perfect.” This was his first relationship- his first time being with someone romantically. Mark wanted it to be perfect, like in the movies and the romance books Donghyuck always bought but never once read all the way through. He wanted it to be like Jim and Pam minus the destructive friends, like To All The Boys I’ve Loved minus all the useless drama and angst, like Bonnie and Clyde minus shooting people and going to jail. He wanted something. Something to reminisce on that would make him think ‘yea, that was perfect.’
and this was certainly not it.
Renjun looked at the girl behind the cash register, curly hair a mess and face planting on the counter next to the cash register and snickered.
“She’s asleep, yea?” Dragging Mark down an aisle he gave him a look that he already knew meant no good.
“Injun, I don’t think-“
“Stop worrying and let me save today, Hyung.” The black haired boy cringed, hating how the smaller still used the honorific when they were dating- it just felt weird.
“What’d I tell you about calling me that?”
Renjun smiled wider as he grabbed a bag of chips from a shelf,
“I wouldn’t be calling you Hyung if you didn’t act like one, babe.” Mark shook his head, deciding to just let the boy do whatever he wanted, it’d be easier and more enjoyable in the end. Renjun slowly opened the bag, trying to keep it as quiet as possible as some oldies played lightly over the intercom.
“You like SunChips, right?” He nodded dumbly as he crouched down next to the other, trying to act as though he didn’t care that his boyfriend just opened an unpaid bag of SunChips. (Poor Mark never in his life has seen anyone do this) Renjun pouted as if he was in deep thought, letting a hand grab a handful of chips nonchalantly.
“You know I’ll eat anything bu-“
“But ketchup, I know.” Mark laughed as the blonde finished his sentence and let himself relax on the floor, hands supporting himself and resting on the cool tile.
“How much do you like’m?” Renjun asked, focusing on letting his tongue play with his braces, trying not to smile.
“Eh, they’re pretty goOD.” Mark yelped as the blonde shoved the handful of chips down his Queen shirt. Renjun put a finger to his lips and tried to hold back his own laughter, face turning red.
“Mark you gotta be quiet!”
Mark pushed Renjun away, letting the younger go into a silent laughing fit as he tried to untuck his shirt to let the chips fall out onto the floor and not so smoothly eating one that got caught on the thick of his belt. Renjun saw this and let himself collapse on the floor again, covering his mouth as to not let any sound out.
After finally getting most of the crumbs off of his torso, Mark waddled on his knees towards him.
“You’re gonna pay for that, Renjun-ah”
The said boy rolled over to face him, letting one hand prop his head up as the other made its way to his hip sassily.
“Oh I’m so scared, what are you gonna do? Rap to me till I die? Do the one, two step on my face?”
“The second one sounds promising,” Mark said but quickly grabbed a handful of chips and tried to shove them in his face. His wrist was grabbed only inches away from Renjun’s face as he let out a squeak of fear and tried to use his feet to nudge the older away.
“It’s what you deserve, Junie!” Mark whispered forcefully, letting a smile spread across his face.
“I only deserve love and money-“ the blonde pouted and gave Mark the wide-eyed stare that usually made his knees weak. Thankfully, he was already on his.
“Not this time Junie~” oh god he jutted out his lip and let his head rest on the floor, still struggling to keep the onslaught of the chips away even with both hand and Mark ever so slightly lessened the strength he was using, he truly was soft for this boy. Renjun took the advantage and just about pushed the older over and got onto his feet, hopping around with the momentum of getting away without crumbs in his hair.
“You love me too much, Mark” he laughed but gasped suddenly as he was pelted with SunChips from the boy who was still on the floor.
“Don’t you think I already know?” Mark sighed looking up and letting himself admire the boy standing in front of him, brushing of crisps from his shirt and black pants.
“Oh, you know what? I learned something new about myself today-“
“That you’re a terrible boyfriend?”
“Besides that- I can do fifteen pirouettes in a row,” Renjun said, a smile showing pride Mark has only seen when he’s talking about art or, his new hobby, ballet. The older snaps his fingers consistently, remembering what a pirouette actually was.
“Oh! The spins, yea?”
“To put it lamely, yes. Want me to show you?” He automatically bounces a little bit, ready to show off to his boyfriend.
“Just don’t kick anything off the shelves.”
Renjun takes that and prepares himself on his left foot and then starts to do pirouettes.
Mark doesn’t know what happened, maybe it was something in the air? Maybe something in the water back at the campus or the lone SunChip that he had eaten off of his belt. It was like everything was in slow motion; the way Renjun spun seemingly so effortlessly in his converse, around the halo of chips and other treats that stacked the shelves behind him. It was beautiful, terribly beautiful. Though he did stumble out of it a little bit, he still looked flawless, smiling and running a hand through his blonde hair as he looked for approval. This might have been the first time Mark has actually thought of marriage and it scared him half to death, who should be thinking of it this early in the relationship? He just knew that he wouldn’t mind seeing this, seeing him all the time.
“Mark, you’re staring- more than usual.”
He shook head, black hair becoming even messier and ears becoming red.
“I-I wasn’t staring.”
“Looking intently; is that better?”
Mark huffed a smile and threw the rest of the bag at his boyfriend,
“Yea, better.”
“I’m sorry. Like really sorry, terribly sorry.” Mark sighed, rubbing a shaky hand over his face.
“I just don’t understand how you have that big of a head but still can’t think for shit.”
Renjun bit out, arms crossed and looking out the window of his dorm room. Mark stood by the door, fiddling with his SnapBack and slowly walking towards the smaller boy.
“I-i know I just-“
“Get unbearably jealous and don’t understand that Jaemin is just my friend?”
He let his hand fall by his side,
“Yeah.”
It had been a long night, Mark finishing his creative writing and literature paper, finishing his own lyrics, and then working on a project with Taeyong in Music Theory in which he knew everything and Mark just, well, didn’t. It was a lot and all he wanted to do was see Renjun. He sighed as he made his way to the dorm, loving how he could already feel his arms wrapped around his shoulders, the all too familiar smell of lavender and a bit of the Calvin Klein cologne the blonde had raved about.
Mark opened the always unlocked dorm room (although it worried Mark to death, it was also useful when he didn’t want to wait to hold the smaller boy close) and nearly short-circuited when he saw Jun and some guy cuddling while watching a movie.
“So uh what’s this?” He asked, subconsciously pushing up his sleeves and fixing his hat.
“ Movie time featuring Jaemin because a certain Canadian couldn’t make it.” Renjun shrugged which made Jaemin laugh and Mark furrow his brows together.
“Ah, I guess you don’t need me anymore, Injoonie,” Jaemin said stretching and letting himself get off of Jun’s bed and walk out the door, giving Mark a little bye as he did.
“Make sure you tell Hyuck and Jeno hi for me!” Renjun yelled as Mark slowly closed the door but not moving from his spot.
Mark doesn’t know what made him say this- it might’ve been a combination of the lack of sleep, anxiety, paranoia and the fact that the only thing he’s eaten today was hot Cheetos.
“So uh, you got a second boyfriend or something?”
Even without his glasses on he could see Renjun flare up in anger and clench his fists.
“Excuse me?”
“I'm just askin-“
“Oh fuck off, you weren’t just asking! You know Jaemin is fucking crazy for Hyuck, why would he ever hit on me? Better yet, why would I ever try and get with him? First of all, gross. Second of all, I have you- the literal love of my fucking life. And three, it’s Jaemin. I just wow-“
And this is where they stood now, Mark stopped the mini flashback and walked towards Renjun slowly.
“It’s been a long week, I guess.”
Renjun peaks at Mark and puffs out his cheeks a bit more, god was he adorable.
“Duh, you literally work nonstop and it’s kinda scary.”
“Scary?”
“It’s like I’m dating a damn robot until something like this happens- where you have a fucking 404 error or some shit.”
Mark can’t help the small laugh that he lets out and sits on the edge of the bed.
“I really am sorry,” he says again after a beat. God, Chenle was right about him having a loose mouth, he knows if he was blessed with being able to think properly he wouldn’t be in this predicament. Renjun got up from his spot on the bed and crawled over to throw his arms around Mark’s broad shoulders and let his forehead rest next to his ear.
“I know, I know. I just-just love you a lot and it hurts when you think or even insinuate that I’d cheat on you.”
Renjun gives the older’s head a kiss,
“I love you too much to do that.” His lips are still pressed to Mark’s scalp and the raven-haired boy swears that his heart is being bludgeoned with a butter knife while simultaneously running a thousand-mile race. He can’t help the sting he feels in his eyes and the way he whips around and pulls his boyfriend into the most bone-crushing hug he could muster.
Honestly? Mark wants to cry. Cry at his own stupidity and at the love that he’s certainly drowning in and how he lets out a whine as he feels Renjun’s own heartbeat on top of his and it’s too much for him and his head is getting dizzy with a thick, pink fog that sizzles his brain cells and nerve endings. Renjun pulls away from the hug and cups his sharp jawline in his smaller hands and looks into his dark brown eyes with so much love-
“Every fight better end like this.”
Mark swallows the saliva he let build up in his mouth and nods dumbly.
“Like the cheesy married couples in the movies?”
“More like Ricky and Lucy.”
“I hope so,”
Renjun just smiles and closes his eyes as he feels their noses touch. Mark giggles as his hat is thrown off of his head and is replaced by pale hands that pull him forward into a sickeningly sweet touch of the lips.
He could definitely do this every day
This was probably the deal breaker- what made the Mark Lee realize that Huang Renjun was more than likely the one for him. As Mark reminisces now, it was only a couple of months ago, they both had just moved in together. For once, he had headed to bed pretty early with an actual clear mind and a soothing, non-caffeine-induced heart rate.
He sighed as he got up from his seat next to his laptop, stretching widely and groaning as bones and joints alike popped nicely, undoubtedly making him feel even more fatigued than before. Maybe Renjun was right, he probably did overwork himself- no human should be this exhausted. Then again, maybe he was just lazier than the average human. The dilemma of not knowing if he was overworking himself or if he was just lazy in his works thumped at the back of his head.
‘Let’s save this mental breakdown for another night.’ He told himself, walking into his shared bedroom. Mark threw his glasses onto a reading Renjun’s lap and collapsed into the plush pillows.
“Be careful! Those glasses cost a fuckton-“ The blond started, he put the book he was reading down to hold the older boy’s glasses in his hand carefully and climbed over him, one hand propping himself on the exposed back to put them back on their designated nightstand. Mark groans at the pressure and grabs the abandoned book, careful not to lose his page.
“ Another self-help book?”
The younger nods as he grabs it back and adjusts his own glasses and position.
“Prevents the daily mental breakdowns.”
Mark looks at the boy who’s now propped up against the headboard and has already begun reading again. His blonde hair is pushed back lazily, most of it shifted and falling against his left temple, His shoulders are hunched over a bit. the raven-haired boy next to him can’t help the smile that comes to his lips when he notices Renjun wearing his old Motley Crue T-shirt.
“You’re staring,” He whispers, still not taking his eyes off of the text before him. Mark shrugs as his face heats up and slowly guides a hand under the old T-shirt to feel at the warm skin which makes the owner gasp and jump lightly.
“Jesus, you’re hands are cold.” Again, Mark doesn’t answer and instead rubs at the skin gently- loving the smooth, soft feel and resists the want to pull the boy closer to him with no space in between.
See, here’s the thing about Mark Lee. The boy has never really been the touchy type- never one to start a hug, to begin any touch that could come across as intimate. Handshakes and touches to his ears were cool and normal, side hugs were on the line, any other small touch or full-on hug was usually a strict no. For some reason, on the other hand, Renjun threw that all out of the window. Ever since they had met it, was peculiar. Each touch made him sigh contentedly, skin to skin contact made him weak, excited and yearning for more; everything was suffocatingly good and addictive. Too good for something so small to have him so weak in the knees and full in the heart.
Mark dug his fingers into the exposed skin after a good few minutes of soft glides up and down the pale surface. He closes his eyes as the younger tries to not blatantly lean into the touch, acting as though he wasn’t affected in the least- Mark knows better and his heart flutters a little harder involuntarily.
“Cute,” he whispers and splays his hand on the slightly defined stomach and feels as Renjun shutters for a moment before speaking.
“Leave me alone and go to sleep, Lee.” Mark laughs at the soft shake in his voice and moves to put his head in the smaller’s lap; younger him would totally gag. Renjun shifts his position so he’s holding his book with one hand and the other can run through the black tresses in front of him.
They stay like that for a time, the only sound being the flipping of pages and Renjun humming some unrecognizable tune and Mark really can’t get enough of it- can’t get enough of this. Even from such an odd angle, the blonde looks heavenly. The lamp on his bedside table illuminated his features, eyes staring at the book he held so intently, skin giving off some ethereal glow that totally wasn’t human, and the way he was biting at the inside of his lip was just borderline of precious. He gawks at Renjun in realization and holds his breath as he thinks of how this boy is also more than looks. The way his laugh is either a quiet chuckle you’ll hardly realize is there and the hard laugh that could brighten someone’s day in an instant without fail; as it had with Mark on several occasions. How he’d try his damnedest to be on top of things and to be the mature one- the responsible leader, but would do a full 180 and act like a kid who got to play in their first snowfall. The way he seemed so confident but would shy away at the smallest compliment; the way he was an open book and would let the floodgates open if needed and Mark knows that he’s the reason he’s so soft now. And Jesus Christ-
“I’m so in love with you.”
Renjun looks at him incredulously, his ears slowly turning red and his eyebrows scrunched together.
“Don’t say stuff like that-“
Mark grabs one of his hands, never breaking eye contact.
“No bullshit, Renjun- I’m really in love with you.”
The adoration in his tone and the honesty in his eyes leads the younger to show a shy smile as he stares right back.
“I’m in love with you too.”
Mark shakes his head at the memory and laughs at himself, God, he was so whipped. The slam of the front door makes him jump and turn around in his spinny chair.
“Ah, you’re still in the same spot? 404 error? You need a restart?”
Renjun came into view, bags labeled Michael’s adorning his left hand as the other was placed on his hip while he came closer to the still sitting boy.
Mark held out his arms and made uncharacteristically grabby hands at the younger and pouted.
“I need my charger,”
“That’s fucking disgusting.” Renjun sighs, showing a clear face of distaste but put his bags down anyway and climbed into his boyfriend’s lap, knees on either side of his hips.
Mark sighed at the touch and grabbed at the boy’s waist.
“For someone so disgusted, you seem pretty eager.”
“Don’t worry, I still want to throw up.” The smaller began, poking at the beauty mark on the boy’s face.
“Just a little less, considering how cute you are.”
The older boy blushed and pushed the poking finger away, looking down to their laps.
“Don’t get shy on me now- you were so confident just a minute ago!” Renjun continued to touch at his skin. The older shook his head back and forth, trying to get away from the constant touches and finally grabbed the smaller hands in his, pulling them into his own chest. They both made eye contact, Mark smiling widely and Renjun trying to hide his with a scowl.
They stayed like that for a moment, Mark glancing down at the younger’s lips.
“I’m turning 28 soon, you know.”
“I’m aware of that, yes,” Renjun whispered, eyes more focused on his mouth rather than his words.
Oh, God.
“I’ve been thinking about something and I, uh- fuck.” Mark feels his brain sizzle as Renjun looks him in the eyes, looking for some kind of answer. He nods for him to go on and the taller feels as though he could drop dead at any minute. Tightening his grip on his hands, he continues.
“I don’t know; I just- I just really love you and I want to be with you forever, you know?”
He couldn’t tell him, how was he gonna just tell someone that he wanted to MARRY them? Was he even ready for that?
Mark let go of the other’s hands and pulled him closer, face stuck in the crook of his neck and sighed. This felt oddly surreal, this couldn’t be real. He had to wait, just a little longer.
He felt Renjun hug him and pet his hair, something that always soothed his nerves.
“The feeling’s mutual, you should know that already.”
Even in moments like this, Renjun seemed to be the only slice of assurance, the only thing that made him calm with the world and, for once, his mind.
He could wait. Hopefully, just a little longer.
“I just uh- just like to know that you’re mine, you know?”
Mark looked up at the younger in time to see him roll his eyes with a smile.
“Always.”