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“You look upset.”
“I am upset.”
Rose was sitting on the floor of the console, handing the Doctor tools as he fiddled underneath one of the control panels. He stopped at her words, wrench in hand, and looked at her curiously.
“And… This might be something I have to tread lightly on… Why are you upset?”
She blew out her cheeks. “You remember Jimmy Stone?”
The Doctor’s expression grew dark. She’d told him everything about her failed and abusive relationship, and she’d had to stop him from interfering.with the whole thing. He sighed, moving the wrench back under the console. “Yes, I remember Jimmy Stone. Why are you remembering Jimmy Stone?”
“He’s getting married, and I got invited to his bleedin’ wedding.”
“Oi, some poor girl’s gotta marry him?”
Rose laughed. “Yeah, supposedly he cleaned his act up after I put him in prison. It’s fine, really, I just… It’ll look bad if I’m not there.”
“Why? You’re his ex.”
“That’s why. It looks like I’m bitter if I don’t go.”
The Doctor wrinkled his nose. “That’s absolute rubbish.”
Rose lifted a shoulder. “Just a human thing, I guess. But I wouldn’t have a date to bring either, so it doesn’t even matter.”
The Doctor cleared his throat and looked at her pointedly. “Rose Tyler, isn’t it obvious that I would be your date?”
“You don’t do domestic,” Rose pointed out.
“It would be to protect you at this horrible event,” the Doctor replied seriously. “If you think you need to go to this, then I’ll go.”
As surprised as Rose was, she agreed. “Okay. When do you want to go?”
“When’s the wedding?”
“Time machine.”
“Right you are.”
*******
Rose decided on a red empire waist gown for the wedding, something understated but still a bit sexy, if she did say so herself. She met the Doctor back in the console room, and was surprised to see that he was wearing a black suit, not quite a tuxedo.
“You- you didn’t have to dress up,” she said.
“I have to make you look good,” the Doctor said, straightening out the lapels on his suit. He held out his hand for her. “Shall we?”
Beaming at him, she took his hand and let him lead her out of the TARDIS. Outside, they were right in front of the church, where Jackie Tyler was waiting for them. She had a very loud, pink dress on and had her arms crossed.
“Well, you’re almost late, but you’re here,” Jackie said. “I’ll have both of you know I am not going to the reception of this absolute-”
“Mum,” Rose said softly, cutting her off. “We got here, alright? And we have to go to the reception.”
The wedding would have been nice if the couple had been literally anybody else. Rose fidgeted quite a bit in her seat as their vows were exchanged, and the Doctor reached over and pulled one of her hands into his lap, massinging her palm. She sagged into his side a little, feeling finally at ease.
She wondered if he knew she was in love with him. It wasn’t something that she tried to be obnoxious about, or annoying him. But she found herself always wanting to be close to him, and when he looked so wonderful and had come to this wedding with her, she found herself falling in love with him all over again.
“Are you alright?” The object of her affections whispered into her ear, making her jolt a little.
“Yeah,” She whispered back, smiling up at him. “I’ll be okay. Yeah.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but simply offered her a grin and faced front again, still holding her hand in his.
Rose dreaded the reception, when everyone would come up to her and tell her what a nice wedding it was, and wasn’t she jealous? She wasn’t, certainly not, but it was obviously something she hadn’t wanted to be a part of.
They sat down once they got there, hoping to lay a bit low. They were sat with some of Rose’s old friends from high school. She introduced the Doctor to them, and they all exchanged knowing looks.
“Oi, Rose, you didn’t tell us you were travelling with such a fit bloke,” her friend Shireen said, looking at the Doctor.
The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at anyone who was at the table. Rose rested her hand on his knee to draw his attention back to her and smiled up at him.
“Do you wanna dance, after the first dance happens?” She asked.
To her surprise, the Doctor smiled and nodded. “Sure thing, Rose Tyler.”
Overall, it wasn’t terribly awkward, though it was a bit terrible to see everyone and have them ask her what she thought of Jimmy getting married, as though she should care at all. She hated how much she didn’t care. She supposed that just meant that she had fully moved on. It was a surprisingly good feeling.
Jimmy and his new wife came over to greet them, and Rose noticed how the Doctor kept a hand on her at all times. She knew it was foolish to think that it was possessive, or even protective, but it sent a little thrill through her that she wasn’t exactly willing to think about.
“So this is the guy you went off with, huh?” Jimmy asked. He was certainly different, Rose could tell, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be friendly with him.
“Yeah, this is the Doctor.”
“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Jimmy’s bride offered them a wide smile. “I’m really glad you could come.”
The couple walked off to perform their first dance, and the Doctor glanced at Rose to check up on her.
“He really straightened up,” one of Rose’s friends remarked. I’m surprised.”
“Me too,” Rose admitted. She fell silent, lost in thought, and the Doctor tugged her to her feet as soon as it was appropriate to join in the dancing.
It wasn’t like the dancing they’d done before, obviously, all jumping and jiving. He held her close against him, a little closer than she would’ve expected. One hand on her waist and the other holding hers, she felt a little dizzy.
“You seem to be doing alright,” he said conversationally, watching her carefully.
“I’m trying to,” She agreed, “Just… Kinda weird, you know?”
“Seeing him get married?”
Rose shook her head. “Not really,” she looked up at him. “I just feel like I don’t belong here. Like this isn’t my world anymore. You know?”
His cheek dimpled as he set his jaw. “Yeah, I do. But I never wanted you to feel that way.”
“Why not?”
“I never wanted you to feel like you didn’t have a home to go back to.”
Rose raised her eyebrows. “I have a home.”
“When you get tired of me, I mean,” he corrected, looking away from her.
“Not gonna get tired of you,” she said softly, “Thought we talked about that.”
He looked back to her. “You will though. And I feel like I’ve taken you away from everything you’d be able to go back to.”
Rose wrapped both her arms around his neck, forcing him to look at her. “I can always go back to visit my mum, but my life is on the TARDIS. With you, specifically, might I add.”
He smiled a little at that, and rested his chin on her shoulder. She laughed a little, allowing this moment, which would probably be broken very soon, to seep over her. Moments like this, soft, gentle moments with the Doctor, were always over quickly. She closed her eyes, just letting herself enjoy it. They weren’t so much dancing as they were swaying to the music, and that was just fine.
When the song ended, The Doctor pulled back from her and squeezed her waist. “I’ll get us some drinks.”
Rose nodded and went back to their seat, where Shireen was sitting, watching her.
“What?”
“He likes you.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Oh, Shireen, grow up, we’re not like that. Just mates.”
“That’s not just mates. You don’t hang onto somebody like that when you’re just mates. It’s just not how that works.” Shireen wagged her finger at her. “I’ve never seen a guy so in love. And we’re at a wedding.”
The Doctor came back a few minutes later, and since his cheeks were a little pink, Rose was willing to bet that somebody had had a similar conversation with him. People were always assuming things about her, about them, and as tired as she was of it, part of her wished it was true.
He set down a flute of champagne in front of her and she thanked him quietly, looking away from him. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them.
“Rose!”
Rose looked up to see another old classmate, a man by the name of Jay, beaming down at her. She blinked and forced a smile back at him.
“Hi,” she replied, “It’s nice to see you.”
“This might be strange, but I’d love to catch up with you for a bit. Do you want to dance?”
She didn’t, but it would be rude to refuse. She looked to the Doctor and saw that his jaw was set, and he looked more than a little irritated by this intrusion.
“Um, Jay, this is the Doctor, my best mate.” Rose rested her hand on the Doctor’s shoulder, and he held his hand out for Jay.
“Nice to meet you,” the Doctor said, forcing a smile.
“Likewise,” Jay said cheerfully. “Come on, then, Rose, what do you say?”
Rose swallowed hard and looked to the Doctor again. He was looking down, and she squeezed his shoulder, indicating that she’d be right back.
“Sure. Just one, though.”
The dance with Jay was more than a bit uncomfortable, as she could feel the Doctor’s eyes digging into her back the whole time. He was so confusing. Sometimes he would act like this, like he cared what happened to her, but other times he’d be so far away from her that she couldn’t reach him. When the song was over, she went right back to the Doctor, indicating to Jay that even if the Doctor wouldn’t have her, she certainly wasn’t available.
She danced with the Doctor a few more times, but it was a bit awkward, with all the talk that they knew was going around about them. They left a bit early, bidding everyone goodbye and walking out hand in hand. Rose was relieved that at least they were still doing that without it being uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry I made you come,” She said softly. “But thank you.”
“I’m not sorry,” he replied. “Do you want me to hold your shoes for you?”
She took off her heels and handed them to him with a smile. “Thanks.”
“It was a nice wedding,” he said conversationally, “Considering who the wedding was for, I mean.”
Rose wrinkled her nose. “I think he might be alright,” she said, “Probably not perfect, but I heard from some people that he was getting a lot of help.”
“That doesn’t make what he did to you alright,” The Doctor said softly. “Really.”
Rose didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say, really. She just squeezed his hand and let him lead her back to the TARDIS.
Once they were inside, he looked back at her, as though he was about to say something. She cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to speak.
“That… Jay, he seemed to quite like you.”
“I’m likeable.”
“I know,” He smiled a little. “But I mean that he was… Interested.”
Rose blew out her cheeks. “Yeah, I think he might’ve been. But I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t interested, Doctor.”
“Why?”
She stepped back, taken aback by his sharp tone. “Excuse me?”
“Why did you tell him you weren’t interested?”
“Because I’m not.” She crossed her arms over her chest, not even sure what she was upset with him for. “You’re so confusing, you know.”
“I am not.”
“You are. I never know what you’re thinking. Everyone we’ve ever met thinks we’re… You know. But we’re not, and then you get upset when anyone else shows any interest in me. It’s just really confusing, Doctor.” She closed her eyes, regretting everything as soon as she’d said it. “Thanks for coming with me. I’m going to bed.”
As she walked past him, he caught her by her arm. It was a gentle grip, she could’ve easily gotten out of it, but she sighed a little and turned back to him. He looked torn, a war behind his eyes, and finally, he spoke.
“I didn’t know it upset you.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me what this is,” she said softly, “I know you Time Lords don’t need labels for stuff like this, but I do, humans do.” She looked up at him, seeing his brows drawn together in worry, she almost felt sorry for him. “I love you.”
She hadn’t even meant to say it, but the words were gone before she could take them back. Without warning, the Doctor pulled her close, hugging her tight against him.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to say or do anything to either ruin or improve this moment. She tentatively wrapped her arms around his waist.
The silence, save for the hum of the console, spread over them, and Rose found herself relaxing even more before she realized that she’d said something incredibly stupid. She pulled back from him carefully.
“I should go to sleep.”
“I don’t know how to say it back,” he said softly, as though she hadn’t spoken at all. “But… As much as I should’ve wanted you to be able to return Jay’s feelings, I… I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand you being with him, even the thought of it.”
“Then what are we, Doctor? What is this?” Rose demanded. “Because I’m not ever sure.”
The Doctor looked lost. “I don’t know,” he said, “Us. We’re us.”
“But what’s allowed, there?” Rose demanded. “What is it? Am I allowed to be jealous when girls fawn all over you?”
He nodded. “I want you to be.”
She framed his face in her hands, taking charge. “Then let it mean something, Doctor. It’s scary, I know, but at least we won’t be empty.”
She kissed him then, because she felt like she would explode if she wouldn’t, because she had to. He kissed her back, desperately, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her so close that she could barely breathe.
She’d never kissed anyone like this before, never really meant it or knew what it meant until now to really love someone like this. And by the way the Doctor was holding onto her as if she was his last shot at living, she thought he might be feeling the same way. When he finally pulled back, it was only because she was completely out of breath.
“Please don’t make me go to any more weddings,” He said softly, pressing his forehead to hers. She laughed, feeling her eyes close with how wide she was smiling.
“No more,” she said.
He squinted and looked up at the ceiling. “Well,” he said, considering, “Unless it’s ours.”