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The worst part of this job, I’ve decided, is when I fail to accurately judge how much of a fight someone’s going to put up while being taken to Urinetown. Bobby Strong, apparently, is not willing to go quietly as I’d hoped.
“You lied to us, Cladwell!” The boy shrieks, clinging to a door frame as Barrel tries to pull him off by his legs. “You told us one thing, then you did another! That’s what you did, Cladwell! That’s what you did!”
“Come on, Bobby, you can’t keep screaming all the way down to Urinetown,” I say as I grab Bobby’s other foot and pull hard. Our combined effort is apparently enough to dislodge Bobby’s desperate grip on the doorframe, and he falls to the ground with a yelp. Barrel grabs his arm, trying to pull him to his feet, only to be kicked hard in the shin as Bobby pushes himself up, trying to make a run for it. I quickly stick out my foot and trip Bobby- maybe not the greatest attack, but it does the trick, sending Bobby tumbling back to the ground. Barrel grabs his arm again, this time succeeding in dragging him further down the hall before Bobby tugs his arm away and scrambles up. I unhook my baton from my belt as fast as I can and slam it into Bobby’s face just as he turns. I wince at the sickening crack it makes as it connects and Bobby shrieks again, doubling over and clutching at his face. Barrel rips his arms away from his face and manages to finally get both his hands tied in front of him as I force Bobby to his knees.
“Now we’ve finally got you,” I say, trying to catch my breath. I hand Barrel a blindfold and watch as he yanks Bobby’s head back by his hair, pulling another yelp from the boy. Blood is flowing profusely from his now-broken nose, and he too is breathing heavily.
Now, I don’t feel bad about this. That’s not the right word. Bobby seems like a sweet kid, it was a shame he’d have to go like this. But I’m doing my job. His revolution will be disastrous if it doesn’t end here.
“Alright,” Barrel says, pulling Bobby to his feet by his arm. Bobby stumbles a little bit, probably still dazed from the blow to his face.
“Now, no more fuss,” I say, taking Bobby’s other arm and heading towards the elevator with Barrel. Bobby’s barely coordinated now, stumbling along with us. His feet are dragging, and I give up on walking him and instead just pick him up. He struggles a bit, but offers little resistance.
Barrel presses the call button for the elevator and I set Bobby down, doing my best to stabilize him.
“Please, Hope is still with the others, what happens to me happens to her!” Bobby says, panic evident in his voice, though his words are a bit slurred.
“What happens to you happens to all of us, sooner or later,” I reply, watching the screen that shows the elevator’s location.
“Rather sooner than later, I’d say,” Barrel snickers.
The elevator dings and the doors open. We step on board, Bobby almost tripping again from the sudden movement, but I’m not about to carry him a distance that barely amounts to a foot and a half. Barrel presses the button for the roof and the doors smoothly slide shut.
“But not to Hope! Please, not to Hope!” Bobby pleads.
“Nothing we can do,” Barrel replies.
“Please, Officer Lockstock, you can’t do this!” He begs.
“Mr. Cladwell will handle it,” I say, hoping this will end all discussion.
“Please!” Bobby starts to squirm, though I’m unsure as to what his plan is. He’s on an elevator with two police officers, both much larger than him, blindfolded, his hands tied, and a broken nose. It’d take a miracle for him to even stand a chance at this point.
“Cut it out!” Barrel says, lifting his baton to hit Bobby again. I quickly shake my head and Barrel lowers it again. I get the feeling another blow to the head will knock Bobby unconscious, and we don’t have the time to deal with that. Besides, we really don’t need to beat the poor kid anymore, though I catch a flash of disappointment in Barrel’s eyes. He’s probably on a bit of a power trip. Unsurprising, we both learned long ago that having this kind of control over another person gives one a real thrill.
The elevator doors open again and the three of us step out onto the roof.
“S-So, what’s it like, this Urinetown I’ve heard so much about?” Bobby asks, the bravado of his statement somewhat undercut by the tremor in his voice. I can feel him shaking as we lead him over to the short wall and railing that surrounds the roof. He loses his footing yet again, and I move to lift him. This time, Barrel shakes his head. He’s right, it’s probably not worth the effort. Poor kid.
“Perhaps it’s better for us to show you,” Barrel says, giving me a smirk as he lets go of Bobby’s arm. I follow his motion and Bobby reaches out, cautiously touching the edge.
“What? Where are we?”
“We’re on the threshold of a brand new world! Step forward, Urinetown awaits!” Barrel says.
“This feels like… a railing? And I hear pigeons… are we- are we on a rooftop? What’re we doing up here?”
“We’re standing at the very gates of Urinetown!” Barrel says.
“I guess I still don’t understand…” Bobby says, rubbing nervously at the railing.
“Never fear, the time of understanding is at hand!” Barrel exclaims, reaching out and pulling the blindfold down around Bobby’s neck. He blinks at the sudden light, squinting out across the city.
“Wait, but this- this is our town! I can see the Legislature, and Public Amenity Number Forty Seven! And that’s- that’s where I grew up... We’re just on top of the Urine Good Company Headquarters building!”
“Sure are,” Barrel says, trying to contain his grin.
“But how is this our town and Urinetown at the same time?” Bobby looks to Barrel and then to me in hopes of finding understanding, only to be met with Barrel’s barely restrained grin and my (hopefully) neutral expression. Understanding suddenly begins to dawn on him
“Wait- wait a minute, you’re just going to throw me off this building, and that’s Urinetown?! Death is Urinetown?!” Bobby cries, trying to back away from the edge.
“That’s one interpretation,” I say, pushing him back.
“Over you go then!” Barrel says cheerfully.
“Wait- wait please, what I said about Hope, it’s true! If you kill me, they’ll kill her! Please don’t do this!”
Barrel nods to me. I grab Bobby around the hips and begin to lift him up onto the wall. Barrel doesn’t do anything to assist, just watches as Bobby desperately squirms and kicks, trying to get out of my hold.
“Please! Oh god, please, no!” Bobby screams, getting in a good kick just above my knee. It hurts, and I can feel my grip falter a little. His feet brush the ground again. Barrel shoots me an annoyed look and I do my best to ignore the forming bruise, beginning to lift again. The only thing keeping me from being able to place Bobby on the wall are his feet, currently pushing back against the brick of the wall. He’s leaning backwards into me, trying to throw off our balance in a more favorable direction. Like I said, Bobby Strong wasn’t willing to go quietly.
If it were up to me, I’d say Bobby’s really too young to die. He’s barely twenty, just started his job at Public Amenity #9, fallen in love, too. For an insane second, the idea of putting him down and freeing him crosses my mind. I can faintly register that he’s crying.
“What’s taking so long? Just toss the kid,” Barrel says impatiently, interrupting my thoughts. I’m pulled back to reality, Bobby’s screams piercing the air, interrupted by his sobs.
I redouble my efforts, hoisting Bobby up over the railing. His feet still as he attempts to find solid footing on the edge. He sways dangerously, balancing precariously.
“Officer Lockstock, please! Please don’t do this! Oh god, I’m sorry! Why did I listen to my heart?!”
“Sorry, Bobby,” I say as Barrel and I reach out to push him forwards- I can’t bring myself to make contact with his back. Barrel apparently isn’t experiencing the same moral conflict, as he gives a particularly hard shove, disrupting the boy’s balance. Bobby lets out an ear-piercing scream as he finally tips over the edge. Barrel and I stand and lean over the railing to watch as Bobby falls to his death, his scream echoing in the alley, until he finally hits the ground with a dull thud and a crunching noise that’s almost audible from the roof.
Barrel and I are silent for a moment.
“A shovel and a mop, Mr. Barrel, you know the drill,” I say, clearing my throat.
Barrel nods and turns on his heel, heading back to the elevator. I stay there for a moment, looking down at Bobby’s broken body. His desperate screams are still ringing in my ears. The rooftop is eerily quiet.
Have I done the right thing?
Suddenly, I see movement down in the alley. Someone’s approaching Bobby’s corpse- someone small, I feel like I know that hair-
Little Sally.
Oh God, she wasn’t supposed to see that! I take off running back to the elevator, getting on before Barrel even does.
“Something wrong?” Barrel asks, looking at me a bit confused. I ignore him and jam on the ground floor button. The elevator starts moving- I’ve never noticed how goddamn slow this thing is. It feels like an hour before we reach the lobby. The elevator dings and the doors open quietly. I sprint out towards the main door as Barrel takes a small detour towards the janitor’s closet.
I round the corner of the building towards where Bobby fell, and manage to catch a glimpse of Sally as she takes off into a connected alley.
“Little Sally!” I shout, trying to catch up, but she’s gone before I manage to round the corner.
I’m out of breath completely. The last few minutes have been nothing but fighting, lifting, and sprinting, and I’m exhausted. I turn and lean back against the wall, panting and clutching at a cramp forming in my side. Unfortunately, this gives me an up-close view of Bobby’s broken body. His legs are bent unnaturally, I can see the bone poking out of his left leg. His arms are still tied and the blindfold managed to stay around his neck during the fall. There’s a pool of blood forming around him, though I can’t tell exactly where the source is. His hair is matted with blood, though the blood that had previously been seeping from his nose was now mostly dry.
This isn’t the worst body I’ve ever seen, but what unsettles me is Bobby’s eyes. Staring unblinking up at the sky, glassy and lifeless.