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He was heading to a party when he saw her. He was walking up 29th and park heading to his friend’s house for their birthday party when he looked up and spotted her on the corner of the street outside Arthur’s bar, one of her favourite hangouts. She was wrapped up in a coat, and scarf but he could tell it was her a mile off. Her face was peeking out over the top of her bundle of warmth, her nose red in the cold January air. Chris stopped and watched her, not wanting to move forward as he knew if he spoke to her his heart would ache even more than it did at this moment.
At that moment a guy he didn’t recognise came up around the corner and caught her attention. As he appeared her face went from neutral to a wide grin and Chris watched as the man smiled at her and said something that made her laugh before he leaned in and ensnared her in a hug. He was at least a foot taller than her so her head nuzzled right into his chest, fitting against him perfectly as she once had in Chris’ arms.
Chris couldn’t believe his eyes. They had been apart only one month and at this moment, watching her eyes light up as they spoke to one another and then disappear into the bar, he couldn’t believe it had been that short a moment. It felt as it were a lifetime. His heart thudded against his ribcage and he felt an ache inside him as if it were attempting to break its way free. He realised he’d been holding his breath and then he moved forward shaking his mind free of thoughts of her and headed in the direction he was meant to go.
He thought that a party would be just the thing he needed to get his mind off Y/N but he was wrong. He couldn’t help but find that everything reminded him of her. A girl he only knew vaguely through Y/N was standing at the door with her friends. The t-shirt he chose to wear today, one of his favourites, she had given him for his 36th birthday and he had worn it frequently ever since. Even the beer he was nursing sadly in the corner of the party was his favourite because she had recommended it, well nagged him into swapping for his health but he had loved it all the same.
‘Hey man,’ Sebastian said as he approached him from the other room before he came to sit down on the couch next to him, ‘man you’re kind of bumming everyone out what’s going on with you?’
‘Nothing,’ Chris muttered shaking his head and taking a swig of his beer.
‘Yeah right,’ Sebastian snorted, ‘come on.’
‘I saw Y/N earlier,’ Chris said quietly. It wasn’t angry or sad it was just a simple statement of events.
‘Oh,’ Sebastian said with a realisation, ‘bummer.’
‘Yeah.’
‘She changed much?’
‘She was with someone. A guy.’
Sebastian said nothing. He didn’t know what to say. Nothing would make it better and it wouldn’t change how his friend was feeling at this moment in time, nothing would. He’d been there himself. All he could do was offer some vague advice, ‘look man. I know it’s not been forever and it probably seems a bit soon but we all move on differently. One day you’ll feel it too, I promise.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Chris muttered mustering a smile.
‘And if it doesn’t, I’ll take one for the team and I’ll date you. How about that?’ Sebastian chuckled. Chris laughed half-heartedly, he was trying to make his friend feel less awkward and feel like he had managed to cheer him up.
‘Sure man. Of course.’
Feeling as though he had succeeded in his mission his friend muttered his goodbyes and then shifted himself up off the couch to mingle with his other guests. The ache inside Chris returned. If he had to take solace in one thing it was that she looked happy. Well happier. The smile on her face and the light in her eyes was something he hadn’t seen in a long while. Not for the most recent months of their relationship that was for sure. They didn’t end on a bad note, not really but there had come a time for both of them that they had hurt each other too much to consider continuing on the path they were on. His constant travelling and their wanting for different things became too much. Chris had hurt her too much for the damage to heal itself. That being said he had also made her happier than she had ever been in her life. They truly loved each other and that didn’t change even through the hurt.
He supposed if she was happy with this new man he accepted that. Deciding he was too much of a dampener on the party he excused himself early and headed home. Once situated on his couch, an episode of ‘Queer Eye’ playing to itself in the background he opened another six pack and continued to drink which in hindsight might not have been the best idea.
Around 12 am he flicked open his phone and scrolled through his contacts until finally, her name popped up on his screen in emblazoned black letters, without thinking he clicked on it and allowed it to ring out into the darkness. There was no answer, eventually, it clicked onto her answering machine which ended with a beep as Chris started to mumble into it, ‘Y/N, Y/N hey. It’s me, Chris. I don’t know if you still have my number or not…wow, I don’t know what to say. I know it’s late and everything but I just want to say I saw you today,’ Chris paused he didn’t know whether to mention the guy or not but he figured she never asked for his approval and it wasn’t something he owed her. She didn’t need him to say it was okay, ‘and you looked really happy. Happier than I’ve seen you in well months. And I’m glad. I can’t lie,’ a lump rose in his throat as he spoke, ‘I’m not exactly there yet. But if you are I’m happy for you. Nobody hurt you like I did, but nobody needs you like I did…do. But I’m going to figure out how not to, okay? This was really long and awkward, and I’m half drunk. If you delete I wouldn’t blame you,’ Chris sighed, ‘bye Y/N.’
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I’d feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you
Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you’d fall for someone new
But if breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you