Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeans POV

I am so nervous as for the first day at my new school. I knock at the dorm door that matched the number scrawled on my piece of paper. The door opened quickly and was pulled in quickly.
"Sorry about the abruptness, but I am in quite a hurry, I have to go meet my friend down at the café. The names Armin, and yours?" The bouncy blond boy said quickly as he passed by.
"Jean." I said with a breath of relief. "I am new here and have no idea where anything is, and am glad to quickly meet a friendly face." I put on a fake smile and waited for him to shut the door and leave.
"Fuck. There goes the only face I know." I groaned and turned to my room to unpack.

Chapter Text

Jeans POV

I set my guitar down on my bed, alongside with my suitcases nearly bursting at the seams.
"Fuck, where do I start?" Staring at the suitcases. I soon unpack my clothing and get everything put in their respective places, which I knew that wouldn't last long. I soon then decide to wander around the university commons,hopefully to make new friends.
Not too far away from the dorm building I was staying in, there was a nice sized café with a glossy sign in the window with 'HELP WANTED' printed in red lettering. I stepped inside and a scent wave of warm pastries ambushed me and I heard my stomach reply, reminding me that I haven't eaten yet today. I walked up to the main counter and there to take my order was none other than Armin himself.
"Jean! I knew I'd find you here eventually!" The blond boy spouted while bouncing on the spot.
"Yeah yeah."I said unexcitedly with a tinge of hunger in my voice. "All I want is a coffee with double sugar and soy milk."
"Y'know, we are a bit short staffed, we could use you here." Armin offered. "You seem to know what it is you are talking about. So, how about it?"
"I don't see why not. But first, do I get a discount? This stuff is too much just for a cup of coffee."
"Yeah but don't tell Sasha, she'll go crazy if she finds out."
"Who's Sa-"
"I'm Sasha" a girl came bounding towards me with her mouth stuffed with a croissant. She stuck out her hand for me to shake but by being able to literally being able to see the stickiness, i politely turned the handshake down.
"Uh, nice to meet you." I turned back to Armin. "So when do I start?"
"Right now!" He smiled handing me my apron and turning back to Sasha. "You quit stuffing your face without paying, and for Jean, you can man the cash register."
Just as he said that, a person stepped into the café, no, not one, at least three or four. They were quite rowdy except for one. I curiously kept glancing over at the group and one never seemed to make a sound. I soon found my self moving over to that very group.
"Welcome, my name is Jean, can I get you guys something?" I said with the utmost respect and class and they to politely spoke back what they wanted.
"Earl Grey Tea, Sweet Tea, Coffee with double sugar, Hot chocolate. Did I miss anyone?" The boy in the group who didn't make the noise put up his hand.
"Sorry about that. What would you like?" He just sat there looking at me. I looked at his friends hoping for an explanation.
"Ohmigosh! I forgot! Marco here is mute!" The girl beside him explained. "He has been ever since I first knew him! Could you just hand him the paper and he'll write his own order." I was hesitant of handing the stranger my materials within the first hour on the job, yet I did anyways. He quickly scrawled his order on the first page with the others but then flipped to the next page and wrote something on it. He blushed when he handed it back to me. He quickly turned away from me and just as soon as he did I turned back to the service counter, putting their orders in and looking at the note on the second.

|| Hey. As you probably already know, my name is Marco, and I have been mute for 7 years after my brother died in a tragic accident. I am new here and am almost certain you are to. You seem nice enough to be friends with, so how about it? ||

At the bottom, a number was neatly put and I assumed that it was his cell phone number. I turned back to the table they were sitting at, which magically gained a Sasha and found Marco looking this way. I offered him a look of sympathy and he for some reason made his way over here. Luckily they have a white board and marker beside the register and offered the to him.

-Thanks-
"I am so sorry about what happened"
-The past is the past, he has nothing to blame but alcohol and bad judgement for what condition he is in now-
"I see you are the kindness is key type"
-What! What makes you think that?
"Just by the people you hang around, they aren't complete bitches or assholes so I assume that much..."
-You're right, they aren't bad people. I am just looking for a fresh face that I could get to know-
"Then I am just that fresh face"
-Well then, would you like to hang out sometime?-
"Sure. I'll text you later"
-I'll be waiting-

He turned away slightly pink, almost enough to hide his mass of freckles. Damn does that kid look good with freckles. What am I saying, I never thought like that about another man before, what's happening?

Chapter Text

Jeans POV
After my shift ended, I checked my phone to see if I missed any important calls or messages. I then felt the sudden urge to insert the number from the café paper. I resisted and plopped on my dorm room couch and started to watch the first program that i could find that suited my interests; Game of Thrones. I heard what I supposed was Armin returning from whatever it is that he does after work. The blond plopped down on the couch next to me.
“So, did you make any friends? "Armin asked “I mean at work”
“Well, beside you and Sasha, I haven't really met anyone else.”
“But you're saying you met someone?”
“Yes his name is Marco.” A look of surprise spread across his petite face.
“Wait. You made friends with the mute kid in our school, BEFORE school even started! Wow, I never thought you would be that kind of guy Jean.” I am not sure why but I felt the back of neck begin to heat up, which clued me into thinking that I was blushing. I turned my attention back to the TV. Just as they killed another character.
“Anyways, good on you man! I knew it wouldn't have been hard for you to make friends, you are just that kind of person.” He hopped up and turned to what I hoped was his bedroom and that he would never come out again.
“I'm not that friendly” I scowled purposefully in the blond boys direction. Sub-consciously I found myself doing what I had put off doing for all afternoon. Putting Marco's phone number into my phone didn't take long but thinking of the perfect first text to send him did. Eventually, I figured this was appropriate.
To: Freckled Jesus
Hey man, It's Jean from the café. Just wanted to say hi and confirm our hang-out session.
From: Freckled Jesus
Hey Jean! Anytime works for me as long as it doesn't interfere with school :)

To: Freckled Jesus
Sounds good :) So how does later tonight sound? Because I also have to make time for work. :P

From: Freckled Jesus
Sounds fine to me. ;)

Whoa, did he really send me a winky emoticon? I mean, that's what a boyfriend would send to his girlfriend. Why me of all people? Not that i didn't mind or anything... Wait, what did I just say?! I mean I don't mind the attention (no homo or however it goes...) from a new face who won't (literally) compare my face to a horse's. Much better than that Jäeger kid, constantly at my back.

From: Freckled Jesus
Hey should we meet up somewhere a bit earlier and extend our hangout session?

To: Freckled Jesus
Sure I guess we could meet at the café and hang there for a while, then do something else.

From: Freckled Jesus
Meet at 6:30 if that works for you. :D

That time there was no winky face, was kind of looking forward for another one.

To: Freckled Jesus
That works fine meet you there!;)

I hope that my reply to his wink was subtle enough, not that I like him or anything. Wetting ready to hangout with Marco was surprisingly tedious, I didn't want to show him my awkward side, I just wanted to show him who I was like at the café earlier. I pretty much sat, watching the clock waiting for that time to come.

Chapter Text

Jean's POV
Finally when the clock reached the heavenly time of 6 o'clock, I leaped up and head out the door over to where I am going to meet with my like only new friend. While walking to the café, I ran into Sasha walking away from that place chatting with a strange boy who was holding a bag full of what I could only assume to be muffins.
“Hey Jean! How's it going! It's been like forever since I saw you last!”
“Sash, we work at the same place, I worked today.”
Sasha turned towards her friend and takes what I can now confirm as muffins from the bag and vacuums it down as if it were only a small piece of chocolate.
“Jean, this is my best friend Connie. Connie, Jean; Jean, Connie. There, now that everybody knows each other, where are you going Jean?” The two leaned in, expecting a huge answer.
“Just need a cup of coffee and a change of environment. I just don't feel at home here.”
“I see what you mean. It is hard for you first years to adjust to the changes that come with going to university.” The other boy added sympathetically Through his mouthful of half chewed muffin. “Well we should let you go, see you around sometime.” Walking away from them, I checked the time on my watch.
“Shit! It's 6:25! I need to be there on time!” I ran the rest of the way, reaching the café out of breath. Stepping into the warmer zone immediately removed all of my nervousness. No sign of Marco yet. I plopped myself down onto one of the couches they have in the lounge area and caught my breath when not to soon after, Marco appeared in the doorway of the café. He gave a small smile and wave and made his way over to where I was. I saw that he was carrying a whiteboard so we could communicate.

“Hey” I started the conversation off.
-Hey. So what are we going to do?-
“I was thinking we could watch some movies, is that okay?”
-I'm okay with anything- He held the sign closer to his face so I could see his smile. I didn't need to follow the sign to know if he was smiling. I myself was smiling just as much if not more than him. Our eyes lingered for a few moments and I was the first to tear away feeling my face to turn absolutely bright red. His turned an equal shade of red and we laughed to relive the tension.
“Lets grab a drink before we leave. Want the same as before?” I ask to change the subject.
-Sure-
“Two mocha’s please.” I said to whoever was working at the time. I really didn't notice that it was actually Armin working.
“Why tw- Ohhh, you and your friend over there are chilling here for a little while.” he made air quotes when saying friend and I turned a light shade of pink.
“We are seriously just friends, nothing more” I said with hints of anger towards his poor judgement. I mean we are just friends, right? He handed me the drinks winking and I turned back to where the freckled wonder was sitting and walked as fast as I could without spilling our drinks.
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?-
“Don't worry about it. Consider it like a welcome gift from me.”
-But how can I repay you?-
“Just you being here was payment enough.” Shit had I just said that?! That was probably the gayest thing that I had ever said in my life. Not that I am gay though. “Lets head out then.”
I held the door open for the taller boy and we embarked on the journey back to my dorm. We made the typical small talk that people made and we eventually stopped at a park bench and only then did I realize that we passed my dorm house a while back.
“Frick, we passed my building.” Now that was embarrassing. I was so engulfed in what Marco was saying that I wasn't paying attention to where we were going exactly.
-No problem, we can just turn around.-
I am so stupid. We could have just looped around and didn't have to mention anything yet I did anyways. We turned around and stepped into the large building which housed my dorm room. When we reached the door, I unlocked the door and opened it and offered for him to step in. Stepping in and closing the door behind him I gave him a small tour of where all the essential things were.
I sat on the considerably small couch and offered the boy to sit beside me while we chose a movie.
“What movie would you like to watch?”
-I'm okay with most movies-
“Does Silent Hill sound okay?”
-Never heard of it so okay- he showed a thumbs-up. I grabbed us a bowl of popcorn that Armin was nice enough to make before leaving, and put the movie disc in the DVD player. I gulped, I absolutely hated horror movies with a passion, but for some reason, I suggested this movie first.
“Just a warning, this movie is scary.” I said while the previews played
-Horror is my favourite movie genre. I love a great scare.-
We played the movie and after a nice little introduction, the real scary shit started to happen. Whenever there was a pop-up, I tended to jump while Freckles seemed to chuckle. At one point in the movie, there was one point where they started a fire to burn people alive. Marco clutched onto his whiteboard and I sat further forward than ever waiting for someone to be burned. When the first body was burned, I felt a new touch against my arm, Marco. He buried his face into my shoulder and refused to look up until the scene was over. When the scene finally ended he sat up and focused once again.
“Wow, that was actually a great movie!” I said and saw him writing furiously on his board.
-You never mentioned that there would be people burning! That is scary and I don’t want it to happen to either of us.-
“It won't happen to us, it's just a movie. If you would like we could watch a different movie. Your choice this time.” I pointed over to where my stockpile of movies were and he wandered over and began to search. He seemed to know exactly what he wanted to watch. Eventually he stood up clutching a movie to his chest and put it in the player himself. Watching him sit back down, he had his smile back on his face and he scrawled something on his board.
-Prepare for one of the greatest movies of all time.-
“What is it?” I asked confused as I had no idea which of my many movies that we were going to watch.
-Les Misérables is one of the greatest movies of all times and a beautiful musical. Not to mention Hugh Jackman is in it as well.-
“I have never seen it. It must have been one of those movies that were gifted to me and I never really cared to watch it.” He made a face at that remark.
-Well you are now and prepare yourself now to get your heart ripped out of your chest.-

The movie started up right with a song. I secretly loved musicals but am never going to tell anyone that secret. When we neared the end, I could see Marco begin to tear up and felt as if I should feel more emotional. That is when I realized that I have spent the majority of the movie listening to the amazing voices of all the actors(Damn Hugh Jackman!), and not the story itself. I then saw the death of one of the many characters and felt the tears well up and eventually at the same time, we both started sniffling and crying. We collapsed onto each other into a fit of tears as the ending credits rolled onscreen and eventually I stopped only to see Marco still crying.
“That was one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life!” I admitted and tried to comfort the boy beside me enough so that we could communicate. I hugged him close to me and he looked up to me and we exchanged a few minutes of just looking into each others eyes. The next few moments happened so fast that I could hardly remember what had happened. We kissed, not just a small pansy kiss on the cheek. No a full on kiss only broken to retrieve air.
“Wow” that was all that I could say.
-Wow what are we going to do now?-
“We should just keep this between us. Got it?”
-Yup- He rested his head on my chest while we watched TV. I heard the sound that a door makes when the lock is being unlocked and we quickly untangled ourselves and sat suspiciously again on the couch with the TV shut off.
“Jean! Hey your home! Who's this?” Armin walked through the front door.
“Armin this is my friend Marco, Marco this is my room-mate Armin.” I introduced.
-Nice to meet you- i saw Marco write on his board and showed Armin.
“Oh pardon me! I forgot that you were mute, I am so sorry!”
-It's all good- I resisted the urge to put my arm around him just for the sake of secrecy that we swore to only a good hour before.
“Well good to see that Jean made a few friends right before the school year starts. Hope you all the best in your studies” he bounded away to his room and shut the door.
“Lets go to my room, I know that we will not be walked into in the there.” When we got into my room, the first thing that he saw was my guitar propped up against the side of my desk.
-Do you play?-
“I dabble now and then.”
-Can you play me something?-
“For sure!” I picked up my guitar, made sure it was in tune and began to play Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T's. He looked at me playing as if he never saw anyone play guitar before. When I finished, I set my guitar back into it's case and before I could fully recover, I was bombarded by the other boy with hugs.
-That was amazing- He wrote on a stray piece of paper evidently forgetting his whiteboard in the main living area.
“I love you” I whisper in his ear so Armin couldn't hear us.
-I love you too- He wrote and we kissed to end the best night probably in either of our lives.

Chapter Text

Marco's POV
After our little hangout session, i found myself longing for his touch once more, just to feel his tender lips against mine once again. Studying for these mid-terms has really done a number on our relationship. I haven't seen Jean in person for a couple weeks now and am starting to forget what his touch feels like.

From: Jeanny-Boy
I miss u. These midterms are wreaking havoc on me.

To: Jeanny-Boy
I miss you too. We could have a study session together seeing as we share a few classes together ;)

From: Jeanny-Boy
Sounds great ;) meet u at the café

To: Jeanny-Boy
Meet u there.

When I left for the café, my room-mate Eren, began furiously questioning me.
"Where are you going? Why are you going? Who are you meeting with?"
-Calm down, I am going to study for mid-terms with Jean. He came here halfway through the year and needs the notes from the beginning of the year.-
"Fine just don't stay out too late or I'll sic Mikasa on you."
I just scowled at him and he offered me a grin in response as I left the room. Making my way to the café I could feel the cool air breach the warmth of my body, but i immediately forget about the cold at the thought of me meeting up with my boyfriend. Opening the door to the café, i recognized to body behind the counter as Armin, Jean's room mate. He waved and pointed to one of the couches that faced away from the door. I saw the boy with the two-toned hair and snuck up behind him, proceeding to place my head i between his and Armin's and subtly kissing his cheek.
"H-Hey you made it." he whispered as I sat beside him with my study notes and whiteboard.
-I wouldn't miss seeing you for the world- blushing, Jean looked back down at his notes that are for what I see to believe to be Pschology notes. He had his bag between us, his hand slid underneath, I took that hint to do the same. We entangled fingers and went back to our notes.
"How are things going over here? Can I get you guys anything?" I heard the blond boy respond. I broke away my hand to write on my whiteboard. I showed what I wrote to Jean before showing Armin.
-Two mochas please. I think that is all.-
"Alright." Armin looked at us suspiciously and then walked away to complete the order.
"That was too close. Let's keep trying to keep us on a down low." I bumped into his shoulder.
-Well, when should we start telling people? I mean about us? It has been a couple weeks since we hooked up...-
"We should save it for sometime later, sometime that needs something to spice it up.
-you mean like last week with Ymir and Krista?-
"Yeah like that, but not before we have to cram for exams or anything. Maybe we could save it for spring break?"
-Fine you spoilsport.-
"Here ya go you two mochas. See you around later Jean, my shift is over now."
"Yeah okay see you later." We both waved as he exited the warmth to the awaiting chill of the air.
-Now where were we?- I asked resting my forehead on his neck only after making sure that we didn't recognize anyone in the café.
"I believe we were about here" he leaned down and our lips met. I breathed in his scent and grasped onto his sweater. We broke apart and looked at each others blushing faces. Jean pulled something out from his coat pocket. A small box.
"Happy 2-week-a-versary" he slipped the box into my hand and insisted that I opened it. Inside, I found another box and inside that one rested a slip of paper, on that paper was written:
'For your gift, meet me in the commons after your last final.'

-I'll give you yours at the same time then.- I went back to focusing on his lips. He rested his index finger on mine.
"Not now, we have company." I turned and saw Ymir and Krista standing in line swinging their held hands between them. They seemed to see us watching and after they ordered, came and sat with us.
"Hey guys!"Ymir said happily. We waved in her general direction with our noses in in our textbooks 'cramming for our next exam.
"Uh guys aren't you going to talk with us?" Krista asked dumbfounded "Jean you were never one to study for exams. Why now?"
"Because I don't want to disappoint anyone" he said without lifting his head.
"What about you Marco, why are you studying?"
-Big biology exam tomorrow for the both of us-
"I see, you aren't eating each others faces are you. I hope not, that's gross!" Krista exclaimed only to be cut short by Ymir's mouth covering hers. Jean looked up.
"And your the ones to talk and no we aren't 'eating each others faces'" I high-fived him causing more silence between us than normal.
"Anyways" Ymir said blushing. "We have to go, y'no big exams."
-yeah i understand. Well good luck on your exams!-
"We should be heading back to our dorms soon anyways."
They too braved the cold and returned to whoever's dorm room they chose to make out or something. I wish that we could do that same thing, but I know that we can't. I have to wait until spring break to tell anyone.
-Can i at least tell my mom about you?-
"Sure why not, we have been together without anyone knowing. Your mother kind of deserves to know about your life, seeing as she gave birth to you beautiful creature." I blushed at the last remark and picked up my textbooks and papers from the coffee table kissing him on the cheek and wrote on my whiteboard for the last time tonight.
-You are a beautiful creature too. See you Thursday afternoon.-
"Bye. Love you."
That was the last i saw of him until that final fateful day.

Chapter Text

Jean's POV

What should I do for our anniversary? I had nothing planned and still have nothing planned. One phone call that I made changed all of that.

"Jean, honey? What's the matter?" Relieved at the voice on the other end of the line, I told her everything

"Mom, I have my 2 week anniversary coming up and I have nothing planned. Do you have any ideas?" "Jean, you are in a relationship? You need to tell your poor mother these things otherwise-"

"Maman, je n'ai pas le temps pour cela! Maintenant répondre à ma question!" I said accidentally bursting out in my native tongue. My mom huffed and replied in the same tongue.

"Jean, je ne sais pas le garçon. C'est à vous de savoir ce qu'il aime, pas moi."

"That's the problem ma, I'm not sure what to get him. I am not decided yet. Wait, how did you know that it was a guy that I am dating?!"

"Hon, it isn't hard to spot you hitting on a guy every now and then, so I made an assumption. A seemingly really good one!" Mom teased, both of us are speaking English now, lightly bickering and planning my gift. Turns out that it will consist of a full day of us away from the university.

"Merci maman!"

"Votre Jean bienvenu. Vous deux vous amused correct?"

"Okay mother thanks for the support!" I pressed the end call button before she could speak another word,

"Geez! All I wanted were ideas not the whole fucking thing planned by a woman who only reads trashy romance novels!"

To: Freckled JesusChange of plans, meet me at the university common grounds tomorrow.

From: Freckled Jesus What do you mean a change of plans? Okay I trust you enough ;) Meet you there after my final.

To: Freckled Jesus Sounds like the best plan ever!;)

Our exchange of winky faces has grown to the extent where they became part of our every text to each other. Every once and a while I accidentally put one in a text to someone like Sasha and have tons of explaining to do to Connie, hoping to not spill the beans about my relationship. So far nothing yet. I want to make it the largest surprise of the season, even top Krista and Ymir's.

I don't want to incorporate everything that mother insisted to happen, that would ruin everything. He knows me seemingly well enough to know what I'm like and how I roll. I sat on my bed planning that date out, except for the sounds droning out from the next room. I knew that it was Armin, yet I was disgusted that he found that Eren kid attractive.

"HEY! Keep the mackin' down you two! I'm a little busy and need to concentrate!" I yelled through the walls of my room of sanctum.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up! Some of us have personal lives that include other people! Got it horse face?" The fiery boy yelled back. I heard a slap afterwards.

"Eren! That's not very nice! He hangs out with that mute Marco kid-"

"Wait, horse face, you are hanging out with my roomie?" I heard him chortled sarcastically.

"Yeah so what?" I said now outside of the room at the last remark. Had I known that he was Marco's room mate, I may be a little more polite to the asshole from the beginning. Or not, he is after all and asshole.

"Just saying, he really enjoys your company. Someone who doesn't care if he speaks or not."

"Yeah, that's it..." I say extremely quietly as I return to my room in time to see a red tinge crawl across my face without anyone else seeing. God that would have been embarrassing, then I would definitely have to tell them about us, which I didn't want to happen until we were both ready to spill the beans. I in turn cranked up my music to drown out the lip smacking going on in the other room.

The song E.V.O.L by Marina and the Diamonds played through the speakers. Much to my surprise, this song explained everything going through my head perfectly. I didn't want to fuck up what Marco and I have between us, yet I want to make him happy without hurting anyone else, one wrong move and, BOOM! You could potentially hate each other afterwards. I fell asleep to Marina's beautiful voice and dreamed. I didn't just dream, I dreamt of our date tomorrow. Everything went as planned except for the ending, we were supposed to return to my dorm room and watch a movie, instead we walked our separate ways after waving goodbye. I woke up startled and nearly burst into tears at the thought of losing my dear Freckled Jesus. The chorus to E.V.O.L rang through my head;

It only takes two lonely people

To fuck love up and make it evil

It only takes a drop of evil

To fuck up two beautiful people

L.O.V.E. L.O.V.E.

L.O.V.E. E.V.O.L.

L.O.V.E., do you love me?

L.O.V.E., love is evil

Knowing that I was only dreaming of losing Marco relieved me. Switching from the song that probably induced the dream, I skipped to the next song on my playlist and found fucking Safe and Sound cover by fucking Sam Tsui and Kurt Schneider playing. This song makes everything fucking worse. The memory comes flooding back, even though I try to conceal my anger and utter and absolute depression throughout the song. Not sure why I didn't change it, maybe I wanted to see how far I'd bend before I'd break. The end of the song came only too late as I began to sob uncontrollably. I then heard a knock at my bedroom door. Shit! I forgot about Armin and Shithead out there! I hastily answered the door, half hiding my tear stained face behind the flimsy piece of wood they classify as a door. Staring back at me wasn't Armin, wasn't Jäeger either. No, it was my Marco.

-Jean, is everything alright? Eren texted and told me to come over. He said something was wrong with you.-

"I just don't know how much longer I can take of this." I say grabbing onto his wrist and pulling him into my room. "I don't want to run the risk of losing you to some douchebag or really anyone." Before I could break down and cry again I found pressure up against my lips, Marco's lips were pressed ever so slightly against mine.

-nobody else can have me, I'm all yours no matter how much they beg and plead.- he winked. Our emoticon staring me in the face. I replied mimicking his face. I laughed and he smiled and he wrote again on his board. -do you want to tell people? I mean, that will prevent the possibility of losing me...-

"We should start with the people closer to us, like Armin and Eren out there."

-Maybe we should go out and tell complete strangers just to relieve the nervousness...-

"Marco!" I playfully at him "That sounds perfect! But don't think that you are getting in my pants so easily!"

-Who said I wanted in your pants? I just want to be away from my room mate with you.-

"Let's go if we're going. I need to escape this land of eternal moans from Armin or Shithead!"

-You don't have to tell me twice!- we quickly grabbed our stuff without making too much noise to disturb the what I assume to be frickle frackling in the next room.

Outside the building, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

-you know, they are a lot more vocal in our room. I guess they don't hold back because they know I can't stop them without being scarred for life.-

"Oh. My. God. You poor soul!" I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him in so I can inhale his cinnamon scent. We walked around to a secluded part of the school grounds which I have never seen before in my life.

"Do you know where we are?"

-We're going to my dorm- I looked at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"What are we going to do?"

-We could watch movies again. I have lots of movies that you may like-

"Do you have X-Men?" I asked him intrigued.

-Yes. We could watch that first. I don't think Eren is coming home tonight anyways.-

"Yeah!" I cheered. Briefly moving away from him to jump for joy. "I get to spend whatever is left of the day and tomorrow with my man!" I saw a blush creep up the freckled boys face.

-I'm your man?-

"Ye-" I started. That's lame let's make him regret asking that. I leaned over and kissed him so lightly, he would have to lean in more to feel anything but what was a phantom kiss. He playfully punched my shoulder and I turned towards the boy, when ambushed by the same boys lips that I had just enjoyed teasing. We stood there for a minute and took it all in. It turns out we were just outside of what Marco informed was his building.

We made our way up the stairs (stupid buildings without elevators!) and over to where the door to his room is. Unlocking the door, we entered. I heard a voice from another room.

"Eren? That you?" Marco looked at me and made another face.

"No it's Marco and his friend." I called out into the room aimlessly and saw a very tall guy step out of his room very suddenly.

"Hey Marco, who's this?"

"I'm Jean, I share some classes with Marco and we seem to get along pretty well."

"Well Jean, nice to meet you. Th'names Bertholdt."

"Nice to meet you too." I say with a certainty in my voice.

"What Marco, am I not wanted here?" The giant looked over and asked.

-Not really...- he wrote large enough so that the giant didn't have to come near him to read the sign.

"Fine. I know when I am not needed!" He stomped away with his arms crossed like a small child who is upset for not getting the toy that they wanted.

-Sorry about that, forgot about the other roomie.-

"No problem! Good to keep meeting new people, I guess."

-Well, where were we?-

"We were going to watch X-Men. Hey where are your movies?"

-Over beside the tv. Just warning you, Bertholdt has a friend coming over tonight.-

"Thanks. Why can't we just have a quiet night together? I mean its nice to meet new people and all, but whoever it is always ends up having fucking sex!"

-Well he isn't coming for a while so we can watch the movie and then go to the café and hangout there for a while?-

"That sounds good. Which X-Men movies do you have?"

-Name one and I probably have it. They are my favourite superheroes-

"Awesome!" was all I could say. I now know what to get him for tomorrow! I picked out the newest one. X-Men: First Class, and inserted it into the player. Turning back to the couch in front of the tv, Marco sat in such a way so that I had to be in contact with his body somehow.

"Really? You are so immature!" I said playfully as I say down beside him and lifted his legs so that they were draped over mine. I pulled him close so I can smell his cinnamon again. He rested his head on my shoulder and I felt a hand I assumed was his, running up and down my torso. I looked down at his freckled face and he looked up. We touched noses and turned back to the movie playing on the presently ignored screen.

-Let's turn the movie off- winking, he showed me the board.

"But we're only like an hour into the movie!" I whined poking him lightly. He poked back playfully. I was at a loss of words.

"Uhh... Je t'aime Marco!" My words came out in fast and tangled French, forming a panicked atmosphere around me. "Sorry. My French slips out sometimes."

-that's fine just what does it mean? I didn't learn French in school-

"I'll tell you before I leave" I grinned pushing the tip of my finger against his nose lightly and he smiled back.

The movie was longer than we both expected. By the time we finished the movie, I knew that the café was closed.

"Well the café is closed and Bertholdt's friend is coming soon. Let's just call it a nig-" I felt a tap on my shoulder before I could finish what I was saying.

-DON'T LEAVE ME HEAR TO LISTEN TO THE BUTTSEX!!! I CAN'T FIGHT AGAINST IT!-

"I know but where would we go when there is buttsex going on in both of our apartments. Text me and we can suffer together."

-Sounds good. What does that French from earlier mean anyways?- I pulled him in closer and right before our lips collided I chose to speak, leaving Marco longing.

"It means, I love you Marco." I then closed the gap between us, our lips. I slip out the door before he could make another move to make me stay.

Walking home, I found myself walking towards a street that I had no idea that we had crossed. The street seemed clear enough to walk across without any danger, so I went for it anyways. In the middle of the street, all that I could see was a bright yellow-white light and then everything went black...

Chapter Text

Marco's POV
I silently sighed, sitting back onto the couch, particularly the place where Jean had been sitting. I breathed in whatever remained of his scent that lingered on the worn couch and switched from our movie player to our cable.. I switched on whatever I found interesting first and chose to watch,waiting for my first text of the night from my two-tone haired boyfriend. There was at the door, Reiner I suppose, wasn't his first time over with Bertholdt. Answering the door, I pointed immediately over to my room mates room trying to avoid any communication with the manboy.
“Hey Marco! How's things going?” He asked. Instead of writing an answer, I just made hand gestures and shrugged my shoulders. He seemed to understand and continued on to his boyfriends room for inevitable fucking and moaning which I painfully have to endure. To pass the time until I received that first text, I chose to write on my whiteboard.
Innocent(ish) messages that didn't give anything away, small things like winky faces all over the board as well as hearts.
-When will he text?- I now resorted to writing on the board. Then the noises started from the other room. A chorus of moans and groans coming from both parties.
“Oh Bert! Faster!” I heard Reiners distinct voice coming from the other room. I tried to muffle those sounds coming from the other side of the paper thin walls.
“Shit Reiner! I'm gonna-” I then resorted to turning the tv louder than their screams of pleasure. That plan turned out horrible, it is as if they wanted me to hear them over everything else.

To: Jeanny-Boy
HELP ME PLEASE! THEY STARTED EARLIER THAN USUAL!

I pushed myself into my room and locked the door behind me. Sitting on my bed, awaiting a response, I realize that I forgot my written-on whiteboard sitting exposed on the couch. I quickly unlocked and threw open the door, and ran out to grab it. Before I could think twice, I heard a heavy knock at the door. Hoping that it is Jean who changed his mind about leaving, I opened the door eagerly.
“Excuse me sir, does a Marco live in this residence?” A big police officer stood where I had expected Jean to be. Suddenly thankful to have my whiteboard, I responded.
-I am Marco, what seems to be the problem?-
“Do you know a certain boy named Jean?” My eyes practically popped out of my head.
-YES!! NOW WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?!- was now scrawled on the whiteboard.
“His mother told me to forward this message to you-” I stepped closer to him, showing him the board again with the same message. “She wants you to come with me to see her.”
-Only if you tell me what is wrong first!-
“But sir, she insists on this! She knows about your relationship and she will not let me know what has happened to Jean so that I could tell you!” I give in.
-Fine, take me to Jean's mother.-
Turns out that where his mom lived was only about an hour and a half away, off campus. When we reached the street that housed Jeans family, we could spot it a mile away. Every light is on and there were at least seven cars parked out front of the moderate sized house.

To: Jeanny-Boy
What happened are you alright?!?!?!?!

There was a woman standing on the front lawn, Jean's mother , waiting for me I suppose. She grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me in close when I stepped out of the vehicle. She was crying, up close I saw her cheeks were tear stained and her mascara had run. I pulled away to write.
-What Happened?-
“Marco, mon petit garçon ami et copain. Bienvenue dans la famille. My boy's friend and boyfriend. Welcome to the family. I am afraid that the news you are about to hear will not be the most pleasant.” I hugged her back waiting for the inevitable tears to invade my vision.
-What is it? Please I am begging you-
“Jean was involved in a hit-and-run shortly after he left your room. He left the scene of the crime unconscious and the hospital called not too long ago reporting that he had slipped into a coma-” she looked weak at the knees so I grasped onto her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. She looked back into mine with desperation glinting in her green-blue eyes.
-We have to stay strong together. We are the people that need him the most. I am not loving anyone but Jean and that is final.- Showing her the board with a fake confidence that could have fooled anyone with a little practise.
“You are precious. I see how my son fell in love with you so easily.” She grabbed hold of my hand this time, ignoring my bright red face hardly concealed by whatever was left of the night and leaded me into the house that looked like it was bursting at the seams with people. Believe me, being bombarded with one of the only phrases that I actually know in French gets annoying after the first three times. Thank god that I didn't have to write anything down, Jean's mother did all the talking.
-You are being too kind to me. Is there something I can do for you?- I asked hoping that I am not being a nuisance..
“Vous êtes trop précieux. You can stay here if you would prefer. Jeans dad is away,” she then pulled her hand up to her mouth and leaned in closer as if to tell a secret “he doesn't like my side of the family very much or at all for that matter. If it would make you feel better, we can go visit him tomorro-” I didn't let her finish. I instead enveloped her in a hug.
-You are too kind Ms. Kirstein.- I gave in.
“Please call me Éléonore, or mom if you do so wish!” Leading to my room of temporary residency. So that is where Jean gets his french speaking from... And there goes the flood of happy memories that are slowly being replaced by the though of Jean laying in a hospital bed, clouding my vision. When I finally snapped out of it, I discovered tears streaming down my cheeks... right in front of Éléonore. Well there goes everything...
“Marco, hon, are you okay?” His moms face fills my view and attempted to soothe me. I then decided to press my forehead into her shoulder and let it all out, or at least what I could say without collapsing from grief. She got me to end the fits of tears eventually and opened the door to my room for the next few nights. Peering inside, I realize who's room I will be using.
“I figured that Jean would want you to stay here and not any of his relatives staying in his room...”
-Thank you. I appreciate the thought you put into this.- I sat down on Jean's bed, -Goodnight Éléonore. Wake me up in the morning to visit Jean.-
“Will do Marco” she came in and kissed my forehead, like my mother did before the accident and left me to change and sleep.
The next morning, I was shaken awake by Jean's mom. She quickly stepped back, in fear for some reason. I guess Jean doesn't like to be woken up in the morning...unlike me.
-Don't worry, I like mornings.- I smiled despite knowing what had happened the previous night.
“That's different...Jean hates the morning. You two are like opposites it seems!” She too began to smile despite the accident.
-I guess we are not that similar after all...I guess that is why we like each other so much!-
“I suppose that does make a lot of sense. Speaking of which, get ready! We leave for the hospital in about an hour! Get you r butt in gear lazy-bones!” She changed the subject so fast that it took a couple moments for it to register in my mind what we are doing today. I tried to go through my morning routine as fast as possible to allow for some downtime/preptime before we head to the hospital. What am I going to do?clutching my head in my hands, I begin preparing what I want to say(in one form or another).
“Marco! Are you ready to go?” did that really take that much time? WOW I am certainly over planning this visit for sure! Her voice rang a little shaky through the eerily now-empty house. I quietly bounded towards the voice. “Oh! Good you're ready! Lets head out!”
I sat in the passenger seat of probably the best looking car that I have seen in my life. The smooth leather interior is a light beige colour turns into a sea around me as the colour blankets the interior of the car. My thoughts were only interrupted by the sound of the drivers door and the bright personality of Éléonore sitting on the seat beside me. She turned the key in the ignition and carefully backed her way out for some reason of their extremely large, empty driveway.
-Whats with the extra precaution?- I threw her a strange look.
“I just don't want another person close to me getting hurt...” was all that she could spit out before tears almost distracted her vision from the road. Her hand grasped the gear shift tightly without release. I saw the opportunity to comfort her so I took it. I rested my hand over top of hers, and I felt the tension melt away under my touch.
“Thank you Marco. I needed that.” She quietly thanked for the comforting and turned her attention back to the road.
A couple stops down, a large building loomed ahead of our now seeming very small car. I assumed that being the hospital, I gulped staring at the building and looked down at my hands that are now unusually sweaty. Wiping my hands on the thighs of my pants and Jean's mom looked over at me.
“Don't worry, I know exactly where his room is. If you would like some alone time with Jean all that you have to do is say so.” she reassured me without taking her eyes off the road. “Don't want anything to happen this far along.”
Walking in through the hospital main doors, a wave of clean washed over me and I felt a small twinge of guilt sprouting from my gut and working its way throughout my body. I should have forced him to stay with me. These things wouldn't have happened if i didn't let him leave...I almost collapsed myself from the pressure coming from the different parts of my body. Éléonore luckily was right beside me to catch me before I slammed into someone waiting in the foyer. She held my left arm and guided me down one of the empty corridors and veered to the side after walking about half down the hallway. We stopped at room 218, Wait, where have I seen that room number before? Shaking the thought away, I looked Ms. Kirstein in the eye.
-This is Jean's room?-
“Yes.” she wiped her eyes and looked slightly through the window in the door to the room. Quickly, she turned away and walked back down the corridor to the foyer, leaving me at the door alone. Taking a deep breath in, I turned the doorknob to his room and braced myself for what I could be seeing. Jean is laying motionless with more tubes coming from his body than I can count. Two are for his artificial breathing, and at least one other is his I.V. The others I couldn't identify. I sat on the stool beside his bed and reached for his hand laying over top the covers on his bed, the only gesture that I can make at this moment. Picking up his hand, I brought it up to my face and pressed it up against my lips. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, I spun around so fast that I almost fell off of the stool.
“Sorry to interrupt Marco...” It was Éléonore, “I just wanted to see how you are holding up.”
-I'm doing okay, just can you stay? I want you say something to him from me.-
“Sure, I guess so. You know Marco, they say that even when they are comatose, they can still hear you talk to them.” That's when the lights turned on in my head. Then the expression on her face turned from a light smile to downright worried, “Marco, what's wrong sweetie? Is it time to go?”
-Not quite, I still want you to say a few words for me.- I showed her the board before erasing it and substituting what was written for those words. Handing her the board, she spoke exactly what is written on the board.
“Jean, this is your mom speaking for Marco. I just want you to know that I love you and I will always be here for you no matter what may be going on at school. I love you so much and I will never leave you.” When she finished, she looked over to me to hand me the board back and saw both my red face and tears starting to roll down my cheeks.
“Marco, I think now is a good time to leave.” Helping me stand up, we walked out of the room together and back to her car.
-Thank you for everything again, Mom.- I somehow managed to write on the board. Showing it to her, she didn't respond, just smiled and whispered,
“No, thank you.” her eyes had tears as well.

Chapter Text

Jean's POV
All that I can remember before this current moment is the sudden yellow-white light of the headlights of a car, then everything went black. The next splashes of colour were inside a hospital room, blurry colours, but colours none the less. I sat up in the bed and called out to see if there is anyone around.
"Hey! Nurse! Anyone?" No response. Right after yelling, a nurse walked to his door to update his chart.

"Nurse!" Again, no response. I am angry now. Why are they ignoring me? I got up to examine my chart. The chart shows that...I am...in a coma. So this is what they describe as an "out of body experience". Looking back at the hospital bed, I saw that I lay motionless with tubes coming off of almost every body part. Definitely not a sight for one with a weak stomach. Now quiet with only the sound of the many beeps and whirs of the machines in the room, he saw a face peer into the room. Mom. She has come to see me at last. It looks like she has brought someone along with her. Probably just another neighbour that feels the need to visit. The door opened and to my surprise it wasn't a neighbour, but rather someone a lot closer. My sister. I moved to the side and let her walk towards the bed, not like that would have made a big difference anyways. My sister has always been there for me when I was feeling down, and now I can't, I can just stand by and watch, not doing anything about it. I felt like screaming but I didn't, y'know, just in case. I saw the first tear roll down her cheek and knowing that emotional breakdowns run in the family, I waited for the torrents of tears to roll across her face. I set my hand on her shoulder, hoping that it may help. Instead, she tensed and turned around.

"H-hello? I-is anyone t-there?" She managed through her sniffles. Now acknowledging that she is talking to me, I began to panic. I ran into the hall of the hospital, past all the others in the ICU, down to the foyer. I stopped running once i got my sisters voice out of my head. To get rid of my recent memories of her crying, I decided to check the visitors logbook. I was never sure why they did this, but I am pretty sure this is why they did it. The first thing that I looked for was the current date. I saw that it is now Thursday, and The last that I remember was being with Marco on Tuesday. Shit! Marco! How is he holding up? I am sure that my Mom is helping him out without a fucking doubt. With that thought, I checked if anyone had visited yesterday. Looking for my page took longer than I had expected, with the number of us in the ICU. Checking the part for my visitors from yesterday, I saw two names, and two names that I wanted to see; Éléonore Kirstein and Marco Bodt. I am glad that my mom had taken him under her wing, especially in this dark time for him. He doesn't need to lose another person that he loves to another vehicle.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned to head back to my room. When I neared my door, the sobbing from inside had subsided and is now replaced with silence. The silence is eerie and leaves the room feeling empty.

That's when I saw someone standing in the corner, just barely concealing the hurt that they are feeling. The person looks like they were run over by a truck, not literally, but you get it. Their hair is all over the place and their clothes are a tad wrinkled. Once I saw what that person was clutching close to their chest, I realized who that person was exactly. Marco. I wouldn't have recognized him without seeing the whiteboard so close to his chest.
He moved from his position against the far walk of the room, to the stool that my sister was sitting on only a few moments earlier. Laying the whiteboard on his legs, he began to write.

Jean, I am not sure how you are going to get this, but I was thinking. I was thinking of doing something to surprise you for when you wake up.

At the last part, he started to tremble, realizing that there is still a possibility that I may never wake up, leaving me wandering the halls of this hospital until the me still inside my body dies. He left me wondering what he has planned for me when I recover. With nothing better to do, you know not being able to be noticed and all, I decided to follow him out of the hospital. Outside waiting for him in one of her many cars was indeed my mother, ready to take him wherever he wants to go.
I walked up to the passenger door of the car to spy and see what Marco is writing.

I'm ready now.

That's all that he wrote. It seemed like this was planned between the two of them. That worries me. My mom thinks that what she's doing for me is the right thing, when actually it turns everything to horse-shit. When I looked down again, he was writing yet again.

I want to learn how to talk. Surprising Jean is what I am aiming for Éléonore, even if it brings up terrible memories.

He was WHAT!! That's too much for my subconscious self to handle. I rushed back into the hospital, now feeling deserted as the car sped away in the direction of the clinic. Pacing back and forth in my room seemed to be my only function at this moment.

"Why couldn't he have told me what he was doing while still in the room?" I shouted knowing that I can't be heard. He could have written it down and gotten it off of his chest, but no it's a giant-ass secret! I opened my mouth to scream again, when a woman's scream filled its place.

"Why can't anyone hear me?!" She ran through the corridor of the hospital and continued to scream and yell seemingly without rest.

"Lady! I can hear you! Quit screaming or you'll wake the dead!" Her running came to a halt in front of my door and she peered in.

"H-h-hello?" She called cautiously into the room. I sat on the stool at my bedside, looking straight at the door.

"Hello." I calmly replied.

"Why isn't anyone responding to my calls?" She didn't even bother with an introduction. She just cut right to the chase.

"Before I answer anything or show you anything, I have a question of my own, would you be so kind as to showing my to your room? There is something in there you need to see." I warned so she wouldn't get her knickers in a twist without an immediate response. "My name is Jean by the way."

"O-okay. Lily. My name is Lily." She lead me into a part of the hospital that I had never been in before. That's when I realized where exactly we were. We were in the oldest part of the hospital, in the long-term care hall. I turned to face her and her face had a blank expression on it, almost like a porcelain doll.

"H-how long have you been stuck like this?" I managed to stammer out before noticing that Lily was looking down as if through shame and finally she worked up the courage to look me in the eye.

"Longer than I would like to admit. Lets just say that I have been stuck like this for over a year." She admitted quietly and slowly started to walk away.

"Hold on Lily!" I ran to her side, "I'm fine with you being like this, it is a lot to take in at once I know but you have to stay strong. You may be in a coma, but the only way for you to wake up is to fight the part of you that wants to give up." That was probably the best advice that I will ever give in my life ever again. I saw the tears start to well up in her eyes and that's when she fell apart.

"T-thank you Jean. I-I don't know how I can repay you for this."

"Well, there is this one thing," I jumped a little on the balls of my feet. "Is there a way for me to follow people leaving the hospital in vehicles?" Lily gave me a strange look, yet I knew that she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Why would you need to know that?" she eyed me up suspiciously, expecting a legitimate answer.

"My boyfriend is doing something to surprise me when I wake up, and I want to watch over him like a guardian angel" My cheeks turned a ferocious shade of red and the girl beside me giggled quite loudly considering just moments before she was on the verge of tears. Quite an odd girl.

"Well," she could hardly speak between giggle fits, "if you concentrate, you can go pretty much wherever you want to go in the blink of an eye." I almost physically face-palmed myself, I should have been able to think of that one myself. Before I could oppose to anything that Lily says, she ran to another room and only soon after, reappeared behind me. The only sign that she was in the same room as me was a sudden tap on my shoulder.

"Shit! Fuck! Lily, you scared me shitless! Don't sneak up on me like that!" she almost gave me a heart attack! Honestly the nerve of that woman!

"Well, I wouldn't if you knew how to do that as well...just sayin'!"

"Are you offering to teach me? If so, when can you start?" I joked not expecting a serious answer.

"It's not really that hard, we might be able to finish by the time the sun is first spotted in the sky." She calculated very intellectually. My mouth gaped at the answer and nodded my head up and down furiously not saying a word. "Yes? Yes to what?"

"Yes to the lessons of course! I need to be able to do this by the time Marco comes back next, so probably...hopefully by morning or whenever visiting hours start. Just in case y'know." i started to blush again, just not quite a deep shade of red.

"So his name's Marco...I'll be with you in the morning so you can point him out to me." She elbowed me playfully in the side. I played along, pretending to try and swat her elbow away.

"Fine" I finally gave in when my side began to hurt, "Let's just get this over with, I have a freckled Jesus to watch over!"

"Freckles to hey? Wow you got the premium package with that one!" she said with one final elbow to my already aching side, "Let's just get this over with! First, you need to think happy thoughts and memories, got it?" I immediately had a smile on my face thinking about how I first met him in the café and our first night together. Realizing I wasn't alone, I blushed another ferocious shade of red.

"Gee, I think I got that one down pat" I giggled. Lily spun around so fast, I thought that she would take off into orbit. She then proceeded to march over to where I was positioned and gifted a slap to my face without a single regret. The stinging in my face overrode the happy memories, leaving me in the dark.

The continuation of my training was held without me using thoughts strictly not about Marco. A couple of hours later, my training and practise is completed. Completely exhausted, I flopped onto one of the couches in the main foyer and tried to sleep. Wait, I don't need to sleep...why am I trying? I sat up feeling defeated and realizing how quiet it is, I laid back down and absorbed the silence like someone would soak up the sunshine. Soon after, the quiet was substituted with the clamour of visitors to the hospital. One visitor caught my eye through the crowd.

Marco.

Quietly, I followed him back to my room, making the signal for Lily to see who my boyfriend is. She snuck up behind me, tapping my shoulder.

"Quite the catch you got there," she winked and elbowed my side "you know what to do now."

A half hour later, after he finished his visit and walked out to where his car is located. Following him, I made my way into the back seat of his car. That is only the beginning of my view of his emotional roller coaster.

Chapter Text

Marco's POV
I sipped whatever was left of my orange juice sitting in the travel mug in the cup holder in my car. I hugged the whiteboard that had helped make so many memories one last time before I slid the key into the ignition and turned it. The motor sputtered to life and I slipped the heal contraption out of park and started in the direction of the speech help clinic. The radio's ads had finished and "Mr. Bright-side" by The Killers had come on. This song made me feel even more emotional than I had before. The tears had began falling without me noticing, and I wouldn't have if I hadn't looked through the rear view mirror at how I looked.
When I reached the clinic's building, I sat for a bit in my car trying to compose myself so I didn't look like a complete wreck to the parents of the other kids in the same boat as me. If I went in looking how I did, I might have made a few kids cry for their parents for sure.
Walking through the doors to the clinic, I felt a sudden wave of calm rush over my body. I looked down to see if I had remembered my whiteboard. I had and I clutched it closer to my chest as if it had something private written on it for my eyes only. Suddenly, I felt a chilling breeze go by me. I check to make sure that the entrance door was closed and it was. Turning to the whiteboard, I wrote,
How odd...the door was closed yet there was still a draft coming in...
The lady at the front desk was the one to break the silence.
"Welcome, is there something that I can help you with" her smile only made me feel more miserable. I hung my head and started writing.
-I am here to learn how to speak again.- I showed her the board and she looked at me quizzically.
"Why can't you speak?" She pried. I dislike people who pry. Yet I tell her anyways.
-My brother got in an accident and I haven't found the voice to speak ever since, and now I want to learn how again.-
"And why do you want to learn how to speak again?" Again with the prying.
-It's for someone that I love a lot.- A blush formed on my cheeks and she smiled, it all clicking in her mind now.
"A girlfriend? It's alright sweetie, you can tell Laura anything, I won't tell anyone." She reassured the last part with a wink and I caved in and told her everything that I could without causing too much emotional pain on my half.
"I see, and how is Jean doing now?" She didn't seem to care that my girlfriend turned out to be a boyfriend instead.
-No change, it has only been a couple of days since the accident. He's still comatose.- I think she can sense the pain that I am in right now. She comes out from behind her desk and pulls me into a hug. I haven't been hugged by an almost stranger since Jean's mom dropped me off at my dorm the other night, but I guess she's more family than a stranger.
"Don't worry Marco, everything is going to be okay, I can feel it." She's held onto me for a creepily long amount of time, yet I accept it. I am too emotional to back out of a friendly embrace right now.
"The doctor will see you now." She says pulling away. She leads me around to the back and into a room. Leaving me in there alone, I feel isolated, alone. I feel the all too familiar tingling down my cheeks that signals that the waterworks are on again. All of a sudden, there was the sound of a key in the doors lock, and the door swung open. I was greeted by a glasses sporting, average height woman who's hair was done up very messily.
"Alright, Marco Bodt..." She had started before noticing the tears running down my face. "What's the matter?"
-Don't leave me in this room ever again. I don't like isolation. It makes me think that I won't ever see Jean again, so don't ever again.- I made my request simple and easy to follow.
"Consider it done" she didn't even hesitate to fulfill my request. "Anyways, let's continue, what would you like to learn first?" She didn't look up from her clipboard that she gripped like I grip my whiteboard.
-Well, I would like to be able to speak just like everybody else, starting with greetings and names(specifically Jean's) if you wouldn't mind.- I wrote without second guessing what I wanted and allowed for my doctor to see what I had written.
"That's a very large step for you to be taking. Are you sure?" She asked with caution lacing her speech. I started writing my answer when I realized that I can still say some of the letters individually. I erased a part of my answer and opened my mouth.
"I-I-I"-am sure doc- she stared at me in amazement, for she hadn't known that I could do that. She began taking notes and set her board down to focus on me. I saw what she had written; traumatic suppression. I guess she's right, ever since I received word of my brothers accident, my life hadn't been quite the same for I had lost my only brother. I looked up to him with so much respect and now he's gone.
"I am impressed with you already Mr. Bodt! However, I believe it would be better for us to begin tomorrow. After seeing you today, you need the rest and you need to be in the right frame of mind to actually do this." I didn't write anything down, just nodded and stood. When I reached the door, she spoke once again.
"Your appointment tomorrow will be in the morning again, just make sure you are ready for it tomorrow." Showing her a thumbs up, I walked out and past Laura, the overly friendly desk clerk and back out to my car. Once inside, I let my emotion run wild again, hoping that nobody sees me like this. One thing is for sure though.
This is going to be a bumpy ride.