Chapter Text
Four days have passed since our triumphant return from Avallónë, where the council there agreed to grant Legolas his land request in behalf of the elves who have settled in the Valley. It was wonderful to be home again and thinking of something besides preparing for that meeting, though admittedly it has been a little difficult settling down to every day life. For over two months there has been thought of little else, so that now we almost don’t know what to do with ourselves.
Not that there isn’t anything to do. The harvest has been mostly brought in, but there is much to do in preparing things for storage for the winter. Mistress Glasiel and Mistress Elanor are busy canning, pickling and drying crops, while Aerlinn has been bottling honey and rendering wax for use as balms, candles and cleaning supplies. Now that we are back from New Imladris, Legolas and I have been helping Gaearon to finish some storage sheds that are needed to hold the overflow of foodstuffs, for this has been a bountiful growing season. I had thought my elfling would prefer to be preparing the ground for the winter root crops, but when I suggested it, he insisted he would rather work with me on building the sheds, something that came as a bit of a surprise to me.
Not that I mind in any way. If he wants to work by my side, I have no reason to object. In fact just at the moment I would be unlikely to deny any somewhat reasonable request considering what he has recently been through at the hands of that insufferable snake Dagnir who calls himself a leader of the Silvan elves.
Legolas has yet to tell me the details on exactly what happened between the two of them, thought it doesn’t take a world class scholar to figure most of it. I saw with my own eyes the evidence of his abusive actions and I know very well that emotional scars take longer to heal than physical ones. Compared to the ancient Dagnir, my lad is little more than an inexperienced adolescent who would not have expected that anyone on the island would mean him harm. He has fought any number of dark enemies of course, but he is used to being well loved by those of his own race and no doubt expected that Dagnir was being truthful when he claimed he wished to help, even managing to convince him that his methods of doing so were just and acceptable. It makes my blood boil to think that he must have believed on some level that he deserved such treatment to the point of hiding from me what was taking place.
Since the council meeting, I have done my level best to make sure to be as comforting and gentle as possible, agreeing with whatever he feels like doing as far as I am able. I know he needs to work things out in his own mind so I am trying very hard not to push him to confide anything he is not comfortable with, though I know very well that in time it will have to be spoken of. For now I am trying to give him plenty of space and freedom to choose how to best deal with the situation. Of course there are some things that can only be carried on for so long before I need to step in and tonight may be the night for while he spends most of his time during the day close by my side, he has spent the nights since the meeting walking in the kitchen gardens or sitting in the treetops at the edges of the garden where there is a clear view of our bedchamber windows. On those nights I have left a lamp burning in the window to remind him that I am nearby should he have need to speak to me, though he has not yet availed himself of that provision. Some mornings I have found him still outside at dawn and sometimes he is busy building a fire in my fireplace to chase away the morning chill, but I know this week that sleeping has not been on the agenda.
Normally I would have put a stop to this by now, but I know he is finding rest difficult and that he fears being plagued with nightmares, though he has not said as much. I understand this, but on the other hand, this cannot go on forever. I am hoping against hope that he will decide on his own that tonight is the night to begin sleeping again, for if he does not, I know I will have to insist on it, and I have no desire to get into an argument with him about it.
Unfortunately my hope does not come true, for after we have spent a long evening sitting together in the sitting room alternately talking of the day and our plans for tomorrow and sitting silently watching the fire, I suggest that it is time we were off to bed.
“You go ahead, Elvellon.” He tells me. “I think I will take a short walk first.”
Which I know very well means he hopes I will soon be asleep and not notice that he never comes to bed again this night. He says this casually as if he thinks I won’t object, but I know he realizes that I am going to come to the end of my patience very soon and is just trying to see how long I will leave his nightly prowling unchallenged. Well I am afraid we have come to the end of that time. I keep my voice gentle, but using a tone that cannot be misunderstood.
“Not tonight, Lamb.”
“Why not?” he demands, a little exasperated now.
“Because ye haven’t slept since we were in New Imladris and even then it wasn’t very well and that trend needs to end. Now come.” With that I stand up and pull him to his feet as well. But if I thought he was going to meekly follow me upstairs I was wrong.
“I am going outside, Gimli,” He crosses his arms and glares at me. “I am not tired.”
“I did not ask if you were tired, Lad. And no you are not going outside tonight,” I growl. “you’re going to go upstairs and go to bed and that’s that.”
“I am not a child you know,” he informs me, though the petulant look on his face denies the truth of this supposition!
Still I only say mildly, “I did not say that you were.”
“You were implying it!”
Getting thoroughly tired of this discussion I say a little louder, “Do not argue with me, elfling!” I step forward to grasp his arm and am a taken aback when he retreats back a step and cringes away from me almost as if he expects to be slapped. Stunned I drop my hand to my side. I should have thought!
“I am not going to strike you, Lamb. You do know that do you not?”
Stepping forward he wraps both arms around my neck and lowers his face into the top of my hair. “Of course I know that , Elvellon. I’m so sorry.”
“There is no reason to be sorry, Lamb. It was only a reflex.” I hold him close for a moment and then pull away to look at him. “None of this is your fault, Child.”
He nods in agreement, though I have no idea if he really believes me or not, but at least he is no longer arguing with me about the need to go to bed. He follows me upstairs obediently enough, but once in his chambers he looks at the bed as if it were a torture chamber instead of a big comfortable mattress piled with freshly plumped feather pillows. Suddenly I can’t leave him here to face the night alone.
“Why don’t you move in with me for tonight, Lamb? It’s a cool evening and your fire hasn’t been laid.”
“I will be fine,” he informs me, though I can see already that he is far from it.
“Do it for me, Laddie. It will make me feel better,” I insist.
“Really?”
“Aye, really. I will sleep better knowing you aren’t in here freezing to death in this cold room.”
“It isn’t that cold yet, Gimli so I will be unlikely to freeze to death,” I know he is making fun of me, but frankly I do not care . He smiles and adds, “ I will be fine on my own.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t think I will be. Now come on!”
He smiles at me and finally follows me across the dressing room to my bedchamber and my warm fire. He may feel he needs to face his fears alone, but as long as I have breath that will not be the case, though I have a feeling we may be in for a long night.