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Dailisa was standing in front of the large window in her room when she heard the door open. She turned to see that it was Alistair, smiled at him then turned back to the view overlooking the Vigil. Alistair came to stand behind her and put his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. She wrinkled her nose.
"Are you drunk?"
Alistair snorted. "No. There was only the one bottle, and I shared it with Nate."
He felt his wife stiffen and he sighed. "I told you I would talk to him."
"Did you ask him if he wanted to be pirates?"
Alistair laughed softly. "No, but we seem to have an accord."
Dailisa sighed. "Now to get things situated between he and I."
Alistair kissed the top of her dark head. "If you were just my friend and not my wife, too, I would tell you to sleep with him one night and get it out of your system. As your husband, though, I would never want to hear about it. Not ever."
Dailisa turned around and looked up at her husband, her eyes narrowed. "Is that why you refuse to talk to me about Morrigan? Because you wouldn't want to hear about it if it were you?"
Alistair scowled. "No! I won't talk to you about it because I'm not letting you use it to punish yourself!"
She wriggled out of his embrace and stepped away from him, her golden eyes glaring into Alistair's amber ones. "Why not?! I'm not likely to forget that I practically forced you into her bed!"
"Oh no! You don't get it, do you?! I'd have done, would still do, a lot more than bed that horrible harpy to protect you!"
Dailisa blinked and opened her mouth, then shut it, not sure what to say.
"Oho." Alistair said, walking to embrace his wife. "Or am I not allowed to love you as much as you love me?"
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Dailisa was sitting at her desk, frowning at the open book in her hand. A deep voice in her doorway said, "Commander?" making her look up and smile at Nathaniel Howe.
"Nathaniel, come in. Please. Give me a reason to put these requisition orders away. Please, dear Maker."
The tall man chuckled as he walked into her office and gracefully slid into a chair. "Your husband is on his way back to Denerim, then?"
Dailisa sighed a bit wistfully and leaned back, casually throwing her leather clad legs onto her desk. "Yes, he is. Something about having a country to rule or something."
Nate smiled. "He's a very odd man, your husband."
Dailisa snorted. "That's...politely put." She then pulled her legs down and sat forward to look down at her hands on her desk, her brown skin glowing red at her nose and cheeks. "He advised me to spend a night with you."
"He...what?"
She risked a look at Nathaniel to see that he was sitting forward in the chair, his face pale and stunned. "He suggested we 'get it out of the way', so to speak."
He stood up and began pacing the length of her small office. Dailisa watched in fascination as a handful of expressions rolled across his face. Finally, he stopped in front of her desk, crossed his arms and glared down at her.
"And you are just to do as your king orders you?"
She jumped out of her chair, pushing it behind her. "Are you kidding me? I think he's handling a shitty situation extremely well. It wasn't an order, and you know it. And I certainly wasn't suggesting we do it, so stop being an ass."
Nate stood across the desk from her, both of them glaring at the other, then his mouthed twitched slightly. "You're certain you weren't suggesting it?"
Dailisa didn't take the bait. "I refuse to be flippant about it." She sat down, after pulling her chair closer to her desk, then put her head in her hands with a sigh.
Howe pulled his chair up to the desk and sat down. After a slight hesitation, he put his hand on the desk, palm up in invitation. "Then let's not be flippant. But this whole...thing is why I came here, so let's just talk, alright?"
Without looking up, Dailisa slid one of her small dark hands into Nathaniel's large pale one. "Honestly, Nathaniel, what is left to talk about?"
He closed his hand reflexively around hers. "Well we can start with why you always call me Nathaniel. Most everyone else here calls me Nate. Are we not friends?"
Dailisa raised her head with an eyebrow quirked. "Sigrun is my friend, Anders is my friend. You, ser...are something else entirely, and you know it." She blushed slightly again. "That's why I call you Nathaniel, though. No one else does."
Nate gave the ghost of a chuckle and rubbed his thumb over her hand. "Maker help us. What do you think of your husband's...suggestion?"
Dailisa snorted again. "As if I could narrow down what I think. From a purely selfish perspective, I think he might be right. Not because I think that bedding you will "cure me" of my feelings." She flushed slightly and looked down at their hands. "But because things have to be the way they are, and at least I wouldn't be constantly thinking about 'what-if'. But I think that would be horribly unfair to you, to treat you like...like my doxy or something."
"Dailisa." She looked up at this, her eyes wide because he'd never called her anything but Commander. He returned her look steadily. "Do you love me?"
She was not expecting the directness. "I...yes."
"Then I would not be your...doxy, was it? Besides, shouldn't I get to decide for myself whether it's fair to me? I am more worried about you. You find yourself in a situation that I do not envy, if I am being honest. And maybe I have selfish reasons too."
Dailisa tilted her head. "Do you?"
"Woman, I don't have words for how deeply I want to have you in my arms. But, more than that, I do not want you to feel, EVER, that there has to be a choice." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "To know that you love me at all is...everything I need. But Dailisa. I am just a man. Of course, I would think about it. However, I am a grown man, and I would live, and be content to follow you into the Deep Roads, or wherever else you would need me. The question is-will having you, even for one night, change what we are now? Because, by the Maker, I don't want that."
Dailisa smiled slowly. "Do you think either of us are frivolous people by nature, Nathaniel? Do you think either of us would do *anything* that we hadn't thought about obsessively for weeks?"
Nathaniel's answering smile was wicked. "You've thought obsessively about me?"
Dailisa managed to keep her face straight. "For weeks."
Howe gave a low chuckle. "Well. Should I just bend you over your desk, then?"
There was a quiet cough in the doorway. Both of them jerked their heads toward the sound to see Anders standing there, his eyebrows raised almost to his hairline.
"Wow. That escalated quickly."
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Dailisa was turning back her bed covers and getting ready for bed. She was wearing, as always, Alistair's old tunic to sleep in. At least she wore it when she was not sleeping with him. He always laughed at her about it because it easily went to her knees, but it was comfortable and reminded her of him. She had just gotten into bed and was adjusting the covers when a shadow darkened her doorway. It seemed to waver slightly before a deep voice came from it.
"Is...is this a bad time?"
Dailisa hid her startlement in a quiet chuckle. "It's a bad time for talking about Darkspawn, but other things might be open. What did you have in mind?"
She was always amazed at how quickly he could move. In a breath's time, he was sitting on the side of her bed. "Certainly not darkspawn. I debated and changed my mind several times. I was on my way back to my room for the third time when Anders stopped me in the hall and told me to stop being stupid. So. Should I go?"
She smiled at him. "No. Close the door, would you?"