Work Text:
When Thomas had grabbed his papers and walked back to Alex's office, he could feel a smile creep onto his face. He still didn't get it, he still didn't understand why he cared about his coworker so much and why it felt so significant to him that he agreed to come with him, but at this point, he didn't mind.
He was just going to let himself enjoy this warm feeling in his stomach that he felt when he saw Alex, who had grabbed his bag and waited for him by the door of his office. On their way down to the garage, they didn't speak, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable.
Thomas was used to time spent with the other man being dominated by insults and arguments, and despite the atmosphere around them not being the usual, he enjoyed the presence of Alex without having to feel ready to shoot back an argument any second.
While they were driving to Thomas's place, he could feel Alex's eyes on him, almost prompting him to ask if there was something on his face, when he glanced over and saw the other man look down, red tinting his cheeks. So he stopped himself from making the remark and focused on the road more closely, trying not to grin like crazy.
He didn't even know why he had the urge to start beaming but he stopped himself from letting the emotions he didn't really understand show on his face, yet he shot the man in the seat next to him another look, seeing that he was struggling to stay awake.
"You can sleep if you want to, it's still gonna take us like 20 minutes until we get to my place," Thomas said, hoping Alex would take the offer. He was worried about the other man, and at this point didn't try to hide it anymore, as he wasn't nervous that Alex was going to snap at him.
He heard Alex hum in response, leaving Thomas to his own thoughts. He decided that yes, he had to admit to himself that for some unknown reason he did care about Alexander Hamilton, but also decided that any worrying and attempts at identifying said reason could wait until the next day.
Tonight he was going to let himself enjoy the company of the other man and make sure that he did take care of himself. Because now that he admitted it to himself, it did bother Thomas that Alexander worked so much and neglected taking care of himself, and it had been hard for him to see the dark circles under his eyes and his clothing fitting more loosely and the fact that he didn't really see Alex talk to anyone, except to argue with them.
When he'd parked the car and looked over to the man next to him, a warm feeling spread in his chest. Alex had curled up on the seat and his usually tense facial expressions had softened, making him look younger and more relaxed than Thomas had seen him look in what, months? Ever?
He didn't really want to wake the other man up and fought the urge to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen into Alex's face. He did allow himself to deal with whatever he was feeling later, but that didn't give him permission to pull Alex into whatever was going on. Thomas didn't want to be another reason for him to worry, he didn't want to burden the man with the uncertainty of his feelings.
So instead of running his fingers through Alexander's hair, he just lightly touched his shoulder and softly said: "Alex, wake up, we're here." When the other man stirred in his sleep, there was a pang in his chest. Gosh, he'd really have to figure out whatever he was feeling soon, as he couldn't imagine working with the man if he constantly had to hold back random bursts of affection.
Alex sat up in his seat, rubbing his eyes before taking off his seatbelt. "Man, I feel kind of bad for falling asleep, it seems kind of rude to me but I really haven't slept in a while." He apologized while gathering his thoughts. Thomas let out a low laugh, "I could tell. Don't worry about it, okay?"
He got out of the car and grabbed his and Alexander's bags from the back seat, pulling the straps of both bags onto his shoulder when the other man appeared next to him. "Hey, let me take care of that, you don't have to do that."
Thomas locked the car and responded "Just because I don't have to, doesn't mean I don't want to. You're here because you apparently can't take care of yourself, not to be nice."
Alexander didn't reply, which was unusual for him, as he always jumped at any opportunity to defend himself, and he actually seemed a little embarrassed, judging by the fact that he was looking down, not meeting Thomas's eyes and fidgeting with the sleeves of his coat.
Breaking the silence, Thomas nudged him slightly as he walked past him and said "Come on, let's get upstairs. You seem like you could use dinner." Alex quickly followed him, still quiet but seemingly more relaxed.
When they got up to Thomas's apartment, he set down their bags in the hallway and immediately made his way into the kitchen. When Alex entered the room behind him, he was already occupied, making his way around the room, pulling out different things.
Before Alex could even open his mouth, Thomas chimed in "You won't ask if you can help, on one hand, because I don't want you too, and on the other hand because everything is prepared already."
He had Alex sit down at one of the stools at the breakfast bar and swiftly poured him a glass of white wine, before getting back to heating up the various elements of the meal.
After he'd put the salmon, greens and baked potatoes into the oven at a low temperature he started setting the table, and this time Alex didn't even try to ask to help him anymore.
Thomas was aware that it might seem like a little much but he liked the idea of preparing the meal on his own and Alex didn't really seem like he had a lot of energy left.
After they'd finished eating they moved to Thomas's couch with their wine glasses and a plate of Christmas biscuits.
Eating a gingerbread cookie, Alex said: "Thank you, that was so much better than I expected."
Thomas quietly laughed, before taking a sip of his wine. "What, did you expect me a bad cook?" he teased the other man.
"Not really, I just-, honestly it sounds a little embarrassing, but I haven't had proper dinner for a while now and this is just really nice," he admitted between bites.
"I think I could tell. You don't really seem to prioritize basic needs like, you know, sleeping and eating. Or like, human contact." Thomas said and his voice had a joking tone to it, but none of the sharp edge their joking usually entailed.
Alex let out a sigh, setting down his glass. "I don't know, sometimes I don't really see the point of that. When I work, I can see my results and they benefit the company. But with things like eating or sleeping I just kind of neglect it sometimes because like, why would I make a proper meal if I'm going to eat it alone? Or sleep when I could do something that helps the company and actually results in something. It sounds stupid but that's how I feel sometimes." He said, continuing to avoid eye contact, fidgeting with a loose thread on his pants.
Thomas felt his heart ache at the other man's confession. If he, his supposed enemy cared about him so much, why didn't he care about himself?
He repressed the urge to reach out and grab the hand on his thigh that gave away how tense Alex really was.
Before Thomas could come up with something that sounded good enough to say out loud, Alex spoke up again. "Why did you make such a nice dinner anyways if you thought you were going to be alone tonight?"
"Isn't that what Christmas is mostly about? Like, good food and being with people you care about?" Thomas said quietly.
Alex looked up at that, making eye contact and suddenly Thomas noticed how close they were really sitting, swallowing a lump in his throat.
"You care about me?" Alex said softly, and the surprise in his eyes shot another pang to his heart.
"Yes." Thomas simply replied, as it was the one thing he was actually sure of, his thoughts too clouded by his own uncertainty and his proximity to Alex to provide any further reasoning.
"Why?" Alex asked, and his surprise still pained Thomas just as much as the first time. Did he really think so low of himself?
"I don't know." He confessed, his heartbeat quickening as Alex leaned even closer to him.
"And why do I wanna kiss you?" Alex breathed out so quickly Thomas nearly missed it.
As if led by an impulse, Thomas quickly whispered another "I don't know." Before leaning down and connecting their lips.