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Six fell asleep during the cab ride home from the ceremony. When they arrived at Filigree Street Thaniel lifted her into his arms and carried her into the house. The weight and warmth of her against his shoulder was pleasant in the November chill.
She sometimes took Mori’s hand when they were walking, but he believed this was the first time either of them had ever held her. He felt unreasonably pleased, far more so than by any aspect of the ceremony that was intended to honor him.
Thaniel followed Mori into the parlor where he was building up the fire.
“You’re half asleep yourself,” he said, turning and smiling at Thaniel. “Tiring being a hero. You can put her down there.” He indicated the pallet near the fire where he’d been sleeping since coming home from the hospital. Or rather, where he lay down for a spell when Thaniel went to bed. Thaniel doubted much actual sleeping was happening based on the quantity of clockwork squirrels now populating the forest and the fresh scones in the oven every morning when he woke.
Six smelled of the green tea and peppermints that the Japanese dignitaries had had in ready supply. Thaniel took another moment to enjoy holding her before he overcame his reluctance and laid her down. She gave a purple high E of a sigh and turned over restlessly, but then lapsed back into sleep.
Mori knelt by her feet, removing her shoes efficiently but gently, and lay the quilt over her. He came to stand with Thaniel by the fire. He was wearing the blue tie that Thaniel hadn’t borrowed the night of the Foreign Office ball, and he loosened it with one hand as the other rubbed the point on his chest where his stitches were still healing.
“It hurts?” Thaniel asked, but this earned him only a slight shake of Mori’s head, more dismissal than answer. “Where will you sleep?”
“I’m bored with sleeping downstairs.” Mori looked like he’d leave it at that, but then he added, “And . . . you’re upstairs.” His voice was low, of course, so as not to wake Six, but having to strain slightly to hear him made Thaniel feel like a string that had been flat being pulled into tune. His eyes went to Mori’s mouth, imagining it as the hammer about to strike to make the note sound.
Mori took a step closer, clearly catching Thaniel’s intention from him.
Since coming home from the hospital, Thaniel had touched him whenever he could, putting his arm around him, placing a hand on his shoulder when entering the workshop, but those touches had been more of a check, reassuring himself that Mori was present and whole.There had been none of the sensuousness of Thaniel’s wedding night when he had taken Thaniel into his bed and stroked his arms and kissed all along his throat, awakening nerve endings and feelings that Thaniel hadn’t even known he had, like discovering a whole new set of notes that he’d never heard before.
Thaniel wanted to try out doing those things himself. He wanted to kiss Keita’s throat and run his fingers along his spine. He wanted to kiss the surgical scars on his chest, and then kiss him on the mouth again, and he let those wants and intentions rise very deliberately to the top of his mind.
Mori’s nostrils flared, and he said, “All right. Go upstairs and go into the bedroom. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I’ll help you.”
“No. You’ll decide I’m made of glass if you see me clinging to the banister and crawling up the stairs like an invalid.”
“No, let me help you.”
Mori widened his eyes at him, and Thaniel realised it was true. He was already considering that perhaps he ought to help Mori into his bed and then go and sleep in his room so that Mori might actually sleep.
“Go upstairs. I’ll be right behind you.”
Thaniel did as he was told after taking a last look at Six. She had curled onto her side as if she were trying to make herself even smaller than she was. One of the clockwork squirrels was burrowed into the quilt at her shoulder and together they looked like two woodland creatures in a nest. Her mouth was slack in sleep, giving her a far more serene expression than she ever wore when awake. Thaniel would have liked to stroke her cheek but didn’t feel he had the liberty.
After five minutes of waiting, with an increased pause between each creak of the stairs, Thaniel broke his promise and went out onto the landing.
Mori was on the seventh stair with five remaining, both hands gripping the bannister tightly and his eyes screwed shut.
Thaniel sighed. “May I help you?”
He nodded, and Thaniel went to him. He took Mori by the elbows and slowly backed up the stairs one step at a time.
Mori didn’t open his eyes until they were in his room with the door closed behind them.
“Sorry about that. I think it will get a bit easier each time,” he said with a false lightness. “I’ll practise when you’re not home.”
“I wish you wouldn’t.” The thought of Mori in the house alone and terrified cut Thaniel to the bone. “You’re trembling.” Thaniel pulled him close, and felt the tension leave his body abruptly as he buried his face against Thaniel’s chest. Thaniel inhaled deeply to catch the bright lemon scent of his hair.
They undressed and arranged themselves as they’d been on Thaniel’s wedding night with Thaniel’s back to the wall and Keita’s back to his chest. Thaniel curled his arm around Keita, bringing his hand to the spot where Keita’s hip met the mattress. He traced patterns on the back of Keita’s neck with his nose, brushed a gentle kiss to his temple.
“Not made of glass,” Keita murmured sleepily.
This was undeniably true. He was solid and warm in Thaniel’s arms as only a living thing can be, but he was also imbued with the fragility that comes with being beloved.
“Go to sleep,” Thaniel told him. There would be time in the morning for other possible futures.