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Henry Leobolt, the new general of the army, walked through the castle. He finally met her, the princess that he had fallen in love with five years ago, that day when he had seen her play the piano so gracefully. Alea Golt, the new queen of the kingdom, was exactly the person he had been looking for those years after she had disappeared. He found her like he had promised he would.
But why wasn’t he happy?
To think they had actually travelled together before he learned she was the princess he loved. He had to be filled with joy to be with her.
Why wasn’t he?
He thought back to that one meeting five years earlier, it was an image ingrained in his heart, the long hair, the grace, the beautiful music. And then he met Pony Goodlight, a bard. A pretty girl, kind too. A bit vocal perhaps, but in a charming way. Sure, he liked her, but…
Suddenly he stopped walking. He hadn’t loved her. The princess, when he had talked with her without knowing who she really was, he hadn’t loved her. Pony Goodlight was the princess, but if he hadn’t been able to love the woman as she was, why did he still love that image of her that stuck with him for years? He loved it when Alea sang or played the piano, it gave him that special feeling inside that he had felt the very first time he had seen her, but at the same time it just wasn’t the same as then.
And then there were the dreams… ever since he had taken that blackened sword sticking out of the ground, that sword that after all the ash was gone looked just like his own, he had dreams. Nightmares. There was one where he sat in the darkness on something cold and hard, as if he sat in a cave. The words of a song sounded through the darkness and a warm and gentle fire appeared. The music gave him a peaceful feeling and filled him with joy and comfort, but then suddenly the flames engulfed him. And he burned alive. He always woke up screaming at that point. And he was certain some else was there in his dream, but he couldn’t quite make out who it was.
One thing he knew for sure: it wasn’t Alea.
“Henry!” Alea called out as she ran towards him and she took his arm. “Will you join me for dinner?”
“Of course, my queen,” Henry replied. He had started courting her, but with every day that passed, it didn’t feel like the right decision.
“What’s wrong?” Alea asked.
“I’m sorry, just thinking about… things…” he couldn’t even begin to explain what was going on in his mind.
“It’s okay,” Alea replied. “You do have an important job to do. And you do it so well.”
Henry smiled. “Thank you, my queen.”
Finis sat with her loyal protector Corte, her long hair dancing in the wind. It felt so unreal, after all those cycles it was finally over. She was back in her world, although it wasn’t exactly the same as it had been back then.
How could it be? For this world to be the same as she remembered, she would have to have played the same part as she had the first time.
With that prince who had used her love for Henry to make her kill people, and then tricked her to burn her beloved. She closed her eyes, that still hurt so much.
Her hands moved over her belly, life was growing inside it. That was the only reason she would continue to live in a world with Henry, but without him at the same time. This life needed a chance to live.
It was impossible to not think about Henry and she stared in the distance.
As she had learned through all the cycles, his heart never was the same. He had loved other women in those other times. Even when they had met, he hadn’t fallen in love with her as he had done once before. It hurt so much. But at least she knew this pain would come to an end now, she was mortal again. She could die and maybe she would, after she gave this new life a chance to be born.
“I want to tell you something, Corte,” Finis spoke with a soft voice. “I need to tell someone everything and you are the only one I trust. I don’t want to carry this burden by myself anymore.”
Corte took her hand and smiled at her. “I will listen to anything you wish to tell me, miss Finis.”
“Thank you.” Finis smiled, even though things weren’t the same, Corte was Corte and she knew she could trust her. “It can be hard to understand, but please listen to what I have to say.”
After a final nod of Corte, Finis began to talk. She talked about the first timeline. Was it the first? Had the earth already gone through several cycles, or had they been caused by her song? That was something to this day she couldn’t figure out. Maybe it didn’t matter.
Finis told Corte about prince in her original timeline. She talked about Henry and how she had loved him. And how the prince had forced her to sing, threatening with Henry’s life, and she had complied even though every song took a little life away from her. And then the fatal day she had set fire to her beloved, who asked her not to sing her last song for him, even though it could have saved him. That day when she had sung her Song of Mortality, and started her endless cycles on the planet, right to the point where it was destroyed and then reset again. She told Corte about the lives she lived through several times, and the times she had met Henry again, but who had never been the exact same as the one she had loved.
It was dark when Finis was done telling her story and Corte remained silent for a moment.
“I know it’s hard to believe,” Finis said.
“I believe you,” Corte said. “It must have been hard for you.”
“I tried to destroy everything again,” Finis whispered. “I was selfish, I didn’t care about all the other lives that would be lost.”
Corte gently held Finis, she didn’t know what to say about that. It was true, Finis had killed everyone because she had lost her Henry, but at the same time Corte couldn’t bring herself to blame her. If the prince hadn’t been so cruel to her, none of this would have happened.
“I just want… to be with Henry again,” Finis sobbed. After all those thousands of years she still hadn’t gotten over him. “But he doesn’t love me like he used to.”
“How can he?” Corte asked, her eyes filled with compassion. “He hasn’t even met you.”
Finis stared at Corte, her eyes big and wet. “W-what did you say?”
“I said he hasn’t even met you,” Corte repeated. “He never got a chance to get to know you like he did the first time. You weren’t in his life; can you blame him he settled for someone else?”
It was a truth Finis had never considered. She had just expected there would be an unbreakable bond of love between them, and that everything would be the same if they would meet again, but every time she had met him it was at a time where he had given his heart to someone else. Like he had done in this timeline. Could she expect of him to stay alone? Of course not.
“Thank you, Corte.”
Finis walked through the garden of the palace, the queen allowed her to live in the city and this garden was open to the public. She walked over the grass and didn’t notice the small rock that made her lose her balance once she stepped on it. Two strong arms caught her before she fell.
“Please be careful,” a warm voice said to her. How well she knew that voice.
“Henry,” she whispered, and she looked at him.
Henry helped her regain her balance. “Are you okay?” he asked with concern in his voice.
“I am, thanks to you,” Finis replied.
They looked at each other, both unsure what to say.
Ever since that day Rin had sang with her, Henry had seen her several times from a distance. This was the first time he was this close to her. He had noticed she was a bit clumsy, easily tripping or losing her way. Endearing, in a way. It sparked a desire to protect her. But now he had no idea what he could say.
“Thank you for wanting to rescue me,” Finis eventually said.
“When I heard they used a human weapon, I couldn’t ignore it,” Henry explained. “What did you mean though, when you said history would repeat itself and that I would die, most likely because of you?”
Finis cast her eyes to the ground and shook her head. “I can’t explain,” she whispered. “Not yet. But I will, one day.”
“Something strange happened that day,” Henry mentioned. “There was a blackened sword sticking in the ground with darkness curling around it. When I took it, the darkness shot to the sky, the eternal ash disappeared and the sword… it was my own.”
Finis recalled how she had held on to his sword when she had sung her final song and summoned the meteorites that burned the planet. A glimmer of hope seeped into her heart. “Did you… see anything when you took the sword?” she asked. Maybe, just maybe, if the memories of her old Henry would be in this new…
“Nothing,” Henry said.
The flicker of hope shattered and Finis nodded as she looked at her hands on her belly.
“I do have nightmares since that day,” he admitted.
“What nightmares?” Finis whispered and Henry told her about his dreams, the song he heard and the fire that appeared, only to burn him. Once more hope entered her heart, but the happiness she felt quickly faded when she saw Alea walk to them. “I shouldn’t get in your way,” she said.
The last time one of them was involved with royalty and their love for each other grew, it hadn’t ended well for them. Why would it be different now? History would only repeat itself. She turned around and walked away, her long hair gently swaying as she did.
Henry stared at it, her hair, it reminded him of the hair of the princess. “Wait, Finis,” he said as he stepped forward, extending a hand to her.
“You shouldn’t,” Finis said without looking at him. “We are not meant to be together.”
With that she left Henry behind and she walked and walked until she found Corte. Or, more precisely, until Corte found her.
“Miss Finis, why are you crying?” Corte asked.
Finis rose a trembling hand and touched her cheek, wet of the tears. She crumpled to her knees and cried, explaining to Corte what had happened in-between sobs.
As Finis walked away, Alea joined Henry. “When you learned I was the princess you got down on a knee, explained to me you had searched for me for five years and that you loved me,” she stated.
“I did,” Henry said.
“Do you love me?”
“I did. Do. I do.”
Alea gave him a long look. “I had a crush on you since the first time I saw you, such a handsome knight. What girl wouldn’t want that?”
Henry stuttered something incomprehensible, he had no idea how to react to that.
“Are you glad we were able to rescue Finis?”
“Of course,” Henry said, grateful that the subject had changed, although he felt far from comfortable. Alea suddenly asked strange questions.
“I recall how disappointed you were in yourself that you hadn’t managed to save her when you met her.”
That was true, he had felt like a failure.
“A strange woman, isn’t she?” Alea looked in the direction Finis had left in. “Rin told us what she had seen in that vision after she touched that sword, how her lover had died and how she wandered through the endless cycle of lives of this planet. It’s just awful, isn’t it? I don’t remember though, how had the lover of Finis died again? I think Rin mentioned it.”
Henry thought back to their time in the house of dr. Weisen. “Wasn’t he burned…”
“Alive?” Alea added when she noticed Henry stopped.
“Excuse me,” Henry muttered, and he walked away.
With a sad smile and a deep sigh, Alea turned around and walked back to the palace. As cute as he was, maybe they weren’t meant to be together after all. Such a shame, guys like him were rare. “But,” Alea said out loud, “if I can get the attention of a guy like him, there is no-one I can’t have!” She laughed to herself, filled with confidence she would be able to get any man she wanted. Henry had set the standard high though, imagine the man who would be able to surpass that. She was staring to look forward to the hunt.
Henry looked for Finis until he found her. It was no surprise she was with Corte and it was her who noticed him first.
“Miss Finis, you have a guest,” she said.
Finis looked up and her eyes widened when she saw Henry. “Why are you here?” she whispered.
“I need to know,” Henry began.
“Not yet,” Finis interrupted him. “I can’t explain it yet.”
Henry took a step in her direction. “Could you sing for me?” he asked. The moment he asked he realised he had heard her sing before, with Rin. That song had made him feel sad and scared and happy at the same time, but it was impossible to compare it to his dream.
“I don’t dare to do that. Before I was immortal, my songs took my life away every time I sang them. With the cycle broken, I fear my songs will have the same effect again.” She put her hands protectively on her belly. “I can’t risk it, if they will take the lifeforce of the baby instead…” she bit her lips, tears welling up in her eyes. “I can’t risk it.”
“Your songs… took your life away?” Henry asked, both astonished and horrified by the revelation.
All Finis could do was stare at him, that look in his eyes, that was the same look as that time in the cave, when she had sung the Song of Fire for him to keep him warm. It was the first time he had expressed she shouldn’t sing for his sake if it would cost her her life. The last time was when he burned up in front of her eyes. She closed her eyes, unable to stop tears from forming and rolling down her cheeks.
Henry approached her and gently took her in his arms. “You must have gone through a lot,” he said.
Instead of answering him, Finis cried. She held on to him and cried. And he held her in his arms, he didn’t try to comfort her, he just held her close to him. When she had calmed down a little, Henry walked to a fallen tree and sat down with her, keeping an arm around her.
They talked, not about her past or what had happened with general Bazra. They just talked about what they saw and Finis started to feel calm again. It was safe in the arms of Henry.
That would always be true, he would always defend her and come to her rescue. Maybe Henry wasn’t so different after all. They just hadn’t had the opportunity to get close to each other yet.
Days turned to weeks and Henry and Finis met each other on several occasions. Sometimes it was nothing more than passing each other on the road and the exchanged a quick greeting and pleasantries. Sometimes they went for a walk, with Corte behind them. They talked and laughed. One day Henry had taken her to the market and bought a hot apple for her.
Henry realised he was happiest when he was with her. Every time he saw her walk so gracefully, he couldn’t stop looking at her. Whenever she was clumsy or couldn’t find her way, he desired above all to hold her and to protect her.
On a sunny day they went for another walk in the palace garden, there were a few other people enjoying the fine weather and the tranquillity of the garden, but they barely noticed them. They walked arm in arm and enjoyed being together. As always Corte followed them, she didn’t let Finis out of her sight and scolded Henry if he wouldn’t let her rest on time.
“What does Alea say when she sees us walk?” Finis asked with concern in her voice.
“I saw her flirting with a son of one of the noble houses,” Henry said, “but there is a rumour she might marry to the youngest prince of our neighbouring country, to strengthen an alliance after the last war.” A political marriage wasn’t uncommon for nobles, least of all for royalty.
“Is she okay with it?”
“I heard her say the prince is cute and is a marvellous piano player, I think it will work out just fine.”
“I’m glad for that,” Finis said, playing with some of her hair. With a soft voice she continued, but she couldn’t look at Henry. “The last time royalty from this family was involved it… ended in tragedy.”
Henry stopped walking and turned so he could face her directly. With a gentle touch he made her look up at him. “I don’t know what tragedy that was, but Alea is a good and optimistic person, she accepted defeat and moved on.”
“What defeat?” Finis whispered.
“That it’s not her that I love.” He leaned forward, keeping his hand on her cheek and gently tilting her head. When his lips touched hers it was exactly as he had hoped and better at the same time. “I love you, Finis,” he whispered.
“And I love you,” Finis whispered back. “I always have.”
Henry smiled at her, a kind and warm smile that made her heart jump. A smile she hadn’t seen in such a long time.
“Can you tell me your story now?” Henry asked.
Finis nodded slowly and took Henry to a curved stone bench. They sat down and Finis told him about their past, about what she had done and what she had lived through. And all the times she had met him.
Henry listened without interrupting her. The nightmares suddenly made sense, but more than anything his heart ached for Finis. He understood why Rin had wanted to help her so desperately.
“How come you don’t love Alea?” Finis suddenly asked.
Henry opened his mouth to answer, but had to close it again as he collected his thoughts. Why not indeed? It was something he hadn’t understood himself. “I did,” he admitted and explained when he had fallen in love with her and why he had concluded he didn’t love her in the end.
“You loved, in other lives I mean, other women as well,” Finis said. “I came to the conclusion your heart was just never the same.”
“If I may,” Corte said, who had listened to the entire conversation, and she waited respectfully until both Finis and Henry nodded. “I watched the princess play that day too. She wore a mask, but her hair looked much like yours, miss Finis, just a different colour. Maybe, I don’t know it this is true, I just thought that maybe the princess reminded him of you.”
“He hadn’t even met me,” Finis said.
“No, but he had before the resets began. Maybe there were some reminiscent memories or feelings. I know I often had a déjà vu, if the world has indeed gone through several resets and we all lived similar lives before, I can image it is possible some strong impressions last.” She knelt in front of Finis and took her hand, looked at her baffled expression. “When the princess asked me to look after you, I took the job without hesitation. I felt, I knew, it was my job to keep you safe. And the strange feeling overcame me that I didn’t want to fail you again.”
Henry frowned. “What do you mean by that.”
“I don’t know, sir Leobolt. It’s just a feeling I had when I accepted the task.”
Finis put her hand on top of the hand Corte held her other hand with. “What are you saying, Corte?”
“Please don’t take my words for the truth, I’m no scholar, but maybe all the times he had fallen in love with another woman, he saw something that reminded him of you, without knowing it. Maybe that’s why he fell in love with the princess when she wore the mask and played the piano, he hadn’t been able to see her face, but he heard her music, saw her grace and saw her hair and he instantly loved her, that’s what he said. And maybe, somewhere deep inside, that made him think about you. And maybe that’s why he didn’t love the princess after he met her, she wasn’t living up to the expectation.”
Finis and Henry stared at Corte and then looked at each other. They didn’t notice Corte rose to her feet again and stepped back to give them a little more room.
Could it be true? Where they meant to be together after all? The expression of Finis changed from astonishment to happiness and she leaned in to kiss her Henry.
After the kiss Henry put a hand on her belly. “Before we continue this I need to know.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “Who is the father?”
Finis had a gentle smile. “There is no father,” she said. “When I cast my Song of Healing away, she came to the world as a baby. When Rin and I combined the Song of Healing and the Song of Destruction, we sang the Song of Rebirth. I think she will be reborn too.” She took the hand of Henry. “But she will need a father.”
Henry took her hand in his hands and knelt in the grass for her. “I love you Finis, let me protect you and your unborn child. Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Finis whispered, ignoring the tears of joy that ran down her cheeks. “Nothing would make me happier.”
Henry stood up, helped Finis to her feet and he wrapped his arms around. Finis put her hands on his chest and they sealed it with a kiss.