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They had been sparring on and off for what was close to 6 or 7 hours now. The sun was hanging low and heavy in the sky, streams of oranges, pinks and purples streaking across it’s visage.
“What was that? 31?” Shisui beamed, sweat dripping down his brow. He put his hand on his hip. “You only have 28 Itachi! You’re off!” Itachi looked at him. He was one of his only friends in the world, and he was certainly the only person he could confide in.
“Again?” Itachi murmured as he looked away from the older boy. Looking at ground beneath him he could see torn grass, footprints and the places where they’d slid or fallen. He frowned slightly, hoping no small critters had been hurt or died because they were being careless.
“I think that’s enough eh? Shisui, said as he slid his blade back into its holder. “I’m beat,” he said, still grinning as he walked by Itachi. “Okay,” Itachi replied quietly, returning his smile with a small one of his own. He followed Shisui through the tree line back to the compound, the sound of the river fading into nothingness. He stared at the older boy. He didn’t know why exactly, and it stressed him sometimes, but he was drawn to him. Maybe it was his kindness. Itachi wasn’t sure, he was not very good at understanding people, but he knew he liked Shisui. He had been kind to him when he had nobody to talk too, sitting beside him, engaging with him. He always made time for him. He had been kind to him after his team had been killed. He had been the only person who had seemed to care that the people he’d spent months with, had bonded with, had been slaughtered in cold blood. Itachi had been the ninja of the higher caliber, yet Shinko and Tenma, older then him only by a few years, had stepped to their deaths to try and protect him. He had froze in terror. They had died as a result of his incompetence.
He’d been too weak to stop it. He was still so weak. He was still such a child. How could he expect to protect everyone when he was still so useless? He frowned. At some point while he’d been lost in his thoughts they’d made it to his home. He jolted when he felt Shisui’s hand on his shoulder, a concerned look on his face. “You alright Itachi?” He leaned close, intently looking at him. Itachi nodded. Shisui looked like he was going to say something else, but they heard the door open.
“Itachi!” Itachi’s four year old brother came bounding down the steps and clung to his leg. Itachi felt a burst of warmth run through him. He looked down and ruffled Sasuke’s hair. There was nothing on this Earth he loved more then Sasuke, of that he was certain. When he had been born the bond he had felt was more parental, then brotherly. He wanted nothing more then to see Sasuke well. He picked the small child up and his brother clung to him, babbling about how he missed him so much and that they must go training soon. A flicker of pride ran through him, that he was so intent on being a ninja. He was going to do great things, Itachi was certain. Itachi had started the academy at around five himself, but he hoped Sasuke would take some more time to enjoy his childhood.
“He’s getting big!” Shisui said, looking at the toddler. Sasuke turned to glare daggers at the older boy. “Stop taking big brother away!” Shisui laughed and put his arms up noncommittally “I apologize,” he said as he continued laughing nervously, scratching the back of his head. Sasuke stuck his tongue out at him, and did not respond, instead choosing to burrow his head into the crook of Itachi’s neck. Itachi smiled and petted him. He was such a perfect child.
His mother was leaning in the doorway, arms folded and an unreadable expression on her face. “Shisui,” she said smiling calmly at the three of them. Shisui turned to look at her, smiling brightly. “Ma’am?” Itachi found it odd how Shisui acted around adults, his demeanor changed entirely. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what changed, but he wished he was better at it himself.
“How’s your father?” Itachi could feel Shisui tense slightly. His eyes flickered showing something unreadable before immediately flipping back to cheerful. Itachi bounced Sasuke in his arms. “He’s the same.” He replied. Mikoto nodded slowly, as if the response was something unwelcome, but not unexpected.
Itachi liked Shisui’s father. Every time they walked to Shisui’s home the man was sitting on their porch. Sometimes reading, sometimes smoking from a stained cherry wooden pipe, sometimes both. He was in a wheelchair, and had some kind of disease the adults whispered about being a “genetic issue” within the clan, but Itachi was too afraid to query what they meant. Every time he had dinner at their home however, it was full of laughter. Kagami was genuinely a kind man, who loved his son deeply. He couldn’t understand how someone in his position could be so kind, and his father, who had everything one could possibly want, was not. He shifted. Putting Sasuke down while gently hushing his small protests. Of course the last time he’d been Kagami was well over a year ago, at dinner in their home. He’d been telling them a war story when he’d doubled over and, coughed up blood into a napkin. Itachi remembered the huge clots had made his stomach lurch. He’d seen plenty of blood and gore before, but their was something about a man, who looked fine from the outside, rotting from the inside out. So different then the way a ninja should go. It almost felt dishonorable, and the idea scared him. Shisui had walked him home in silence that night, and when he told Itachi to not worry, it had rang hollow.
“That’s a shame, he was quite the ninja. Quite the gentlemen too.” Mikoto sighed, a far away look in her eyes. “Well, he’s still alive,” Shisui corrected. Mikoto said nothing. Instead she sighed and ran her hands through her hair.
“Shisui, why don’t you stay and have dinner with us tonight? You can bring some home to your father.”
Shisui looked back at Itachi, the happiness returning to his eyes. “I’d Iike that! If it’s not a bother,” he replied, seeming to try to taper his excitement with politeness.
They all followed her into the house, first Sasuke, running ahead and pulling on her skirt, asking if he could help with dinner. Then Itachi and Shisui. Itachi walked towards his bedroom and Shisui followed looking this way and that. “Where’s Fugaku?” He said, a hard edge certainly detectable in his voice. Itachi had a million things to say to that. “On a mission. I hope he doesn’t come back.” Flashed in his head. He frowned, it was a cruel thought no matter how difficult his father could be. “He’s on a mission.” He said quietly, not looking up as they turned into his room. He sat on the bed and Shisui stood, looking around nervously. As close as they were he realized Shisui had rarely been in his room. When they were together it was out by the Naka, sparring and talking by the river. If not there then he was invited into Shisui’s home and that had ended over a year ago. It wasn’t that Itachi couldn’t invite Shisui into his home, it was that he didn’t want to, not with Fugaku here. Being with Shisui was a good feeling, he didn’t want to taint that, it would be like a clan meeting, where they nervously stared at each other as the adult’s yelled. Perhaps he should though, thinking about his mother’s inquiry. When had been the last time Itachi had asked his best friend about his father? A lash of shame shot through him.
Shisui was looking at him. “You’ve been doing okay? You sure?” His eyes full of concern. “Mhm,” Shisui sat beside him. He should ask him too now. His father was sick. Instead he looked out the window. The stars were glittering brightly, with a new moon they were the brightest things in the sky. Shisui’s eyes followed his gaze. “They’re really beautiful,” Shisui said. Itachi thought they seemed remote and cold, more then beautiful. That’s how people saw him too. Remote. Cold. He looked at his hands.
“Big brother, dinner’s ready!!” Sasuke came barreling through his doorway and threw himself into his lap. He was more excitable and happy then usual. It was probably their father not being in the house. He was more free to act like a child. It made him smile as he looked down at the babies face. “Let’s go then hm?”
The four sat at the table and ate in comfortable silence, sans Sasuke’s babbling. Every once and a awhile Mikoto would ask Shisui something and he’d respond. He also had said something that made her laugh a lot that Itachi didn’t really understand. At the end of the meal Itachi watched his mother wrap her arms around Sasuke and squeeze tightly, murmuring something in his ear that made the child giggle while scooping him up.
“I think someone’s ready for a bath and then bed,” she said in a singsong tone. Sasuke whined, trying to wiggle out of her grasp. “I wanna stay up with Itachi!!” He grumbled. She smiled “I don’t think so, let the big boys talk, right now you’re too little,” she said as she walked with him down the hallway.
“She’s wonderful,” Shisui said, following her with his eyes. Itachi said nothing.
“Why hadn’t he been too little to go on the battlefields with father? Why had she not said the same thing to father when he insisted on taking him to see the rotting bodies with fat flies buzzing around them. Men wailing about their injuries and just….the blood? The blood and gore everywhere, baking in the sun. Why hadn’t he been too young? He wondered if she even had tried.” He swallowed the bitter thoughts down. He had been chosen to stop conflict, and war, he had to know exactly why anything was better then that. He had to see it himself. That was his reality. Itachi started cleaning up. Shisui jumped up to help.
“You don’t need to help me.” Itachi said, looking at him as he collected the plate ware. “No, but I want to,” Shisui replied with a smile. He smiled back. When they were done and had packed a box for his father he heard Shisui say he should probably get going, but he said it without moving. He held his bag while shifting from one foot to another. Looking at Itachi and then looking down. Suddenly he reached out a tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Itachi inhaled sharply, trying to will down the blush that was forming on his face.
“Sorry, that was bothering me!” Shisui said with a laugh. Itachi could feel his blush deepen. So he looked at the floor.
“Do you wanna sit outside with me for awhile?” Normally Itachi would have said no. It was late, and father would be irritated if he was out without a mission, plus he liked to sleep at the same hour every night on non mission days, as he found it made him train more efficiently the next day, but Shisui was always the exception to his rules. He nodded.
Shisui and him walked out back, sitting on his backyard’s porch. The stars continued to wink and glitter. They were abnormally bright tonight, he thought. “What are you gonna do when your Hokage?” The question sent an electric shock through him. Shisui was the only person who knew his dream, and it honestly felt overwhelming for anyone to acknowledge it so casually. He blinked back the hot tears pooling. He sniffed.
“If I was Hokage I’d fix things. How our clan worked. How other clans work. How the village works. Not that that’s possible for me,” His lips were pressed into a hard line, before turning to him and smiling “I know you’re gonna do those things too,” Their shoulders brushed against each other and neither of them moved to remove the contact. Itachi could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest, and in his ears.
“I’m going to make things better,” he promised quietly. “I know you are,” Shisui replied in the same tone. “You can’t do it all your own though, and that’s what I’m here for. No matter how strong you are, everyone needs someone. I’ll be there with you.” His voice rose as he said this, firm, as if he was stating a simple fact like the sky was blue or the earth was round. The sky was blue and the Earth was round and Shisui would be Itachi’s aide always. Itachi didn’t know how to feel when Shisui spoke like this. He had said such things since he’d met him, when they were both still quite small. He was constantly reminding him he’d support the boy but every time it caused him to fight down tears. Tonight it was getting hard to keep them down.
“I will always be by your side Itachi,”
Shisui said finally, his voice lowering again. He looked near celestial in the starlight. He felt two of his fingers on his own. Itachi nodded quietly, looking up towards the stars as well. They were cold, remote, and beautiful.
He believed him.