Chapter Text
yellow flowers are supposed to burst with happiness, they should symbolize the bods of friendship, success, and joy.
jimin literally felt anything except for happiness, he felt like he couldn't breathe properly like his chest was about to burst.
he felt cold sweat running down his face, his vision was blurry and his hands were shaking.
yellow flowers were everywhere on the bathroom floor, beautiful yellow flower petals, some were decorated with dark red spots and if it wasn't for jimin knowing that it was his own blood he'd maybe think that they were beautiful.
jimin still remembered the first time he threw the yellow petals up, it was just before jungkook was supposed to visit him. jimin didn't have enough time to hide the three yellow petals and jungkook had seen them.
he called them beautiful and thanked the older for gifting him his favorite flower's petals. jimin had totally forgotten that sunflowers were jungkook's favorite. jimin counted 1 and 1 together, of course, the younger wouldn't love him back.
the funny thing was, that jimin had planned to confess to the taller boy that day. what jimin didn't know was that jungkook had planned to tell the younger about his new boyfriend as well that day.
and so it came that jimin coughed flower petals up for the first time.
it was now 2 months later and jimin was too weak to do much more than laying in bed. he avoided his friends and family, saying he was busy with dancing at the moment, which was obviously a lie.
jimin stopped dancing two days after he coughed up the first flower petals, he just hasn't had the strength to do it anymore.
today was the first time after more than a month that he would see them all again and he was afraid. jimin knew that it would be over for him after today, he just couldn't survive that day.
he received the invitation two weeks ago, it was a plain white envelope with his name on it. he didn't think much about it as he had opened it, but as soon as he saw a smiling jungkook and taehyung on a white and golden card he knew what it was.
it said 'we are getting married' in a beautiful font, jimin could feel thick thorns twine around his heart and petals trying to bloom in his throat.
jimin was shocked, of course, he knew that this day would come sooner or later but he didn't expect to be still alive to witness their marriage.
jungkook and taehyung were in love with each other for years and jimin knew that, but he still hoped that maybe the taller would love him back someday if he just waited enough.
even after taehyung and jungkook became a couple, jimin still hoped that jungkook could return his feelings. but after he got the invitation he knew that his last chance just died.
it was over. he'd die soon.
jimin was afraid of dying, but he was even more afraid of a world without jungkook. jungkook was the reason he was alive in the first place, the younger helped him overcome his depression and was his only friend when no one else was there for him.
jungkook was there for him when he got bullied at school, he was there for the older when he would cry thinking he was all alone.
jungkook was jimin's savior.
flashback
jimin fell in love with jungkook the time jungkook had saved him the first time, he was 15 years old and got bullied again by some of his classmates.
they pushed him and threw his belongings away and called him ugly names. jimin cried the whole time and begged them to stop but of course, they wouldn't listen to him.
jungkook was about to meet his friends when he passed them, he saw a boy that seemed a little older than him crying while three older boys laughed at him and hurt the boy.
even though the three boys were way taller than him and also a lot stronger he still stepped in, he couldn't just ignore them and not help the crying boy.
"hey leave him alone!! you think you are so strong and so cool of you bully someone that's alone while you are three together." jungkook said stepping between the boy and the three bullies.
they all laughed at jungkook "oh the small jiminie needs a somebody younger for help, can't even defend yourself huh?"
jungkook's blood boiled, he was about to punch the one in the middle in the face when he heard a silent voice from behind of him.
"please go away, i don't want you to get hurt as well. i'm fine." the boy, jimin he guessed said.
jungkook shook his head he would never leave him alone, but he also knew that they wouldn't have a chance against them in fighting. he then had an idea, "mr lee, please help us!!" jungkook screamed and waved frantically.
mr lee was one of the most strict teachers and so the three boys turned around in panic looking for the teacher jungkook just called. as they turned around there was no one, just the empty school hallway.
they turned back around to now punch them both but they were both gone. the boys groaned in annoyance and swore to take revenge on the young boy.
ever since then jimin and jungkook became best friends and it stayed like that ever since then.
jimin always thought that they both felt like there was more between them and he just had to wait and sooner or later they would become a couple.
but then someday jungkook told him about his crush, taehyung and that he really really like the older boy. jimin's heart broke that moment, all his future plans about marrying jungkook and having a family breaking apart.
jimin forced a smile on his lips and hugged the now taller boy saying he was so happy for him.
now almost 6 years later kim taehyung and jeon jungkook, the love of his life, would marry.
his suit was too tight, he couldn't breath properly and the flower petals tried to bloom out of his throat. he was in the bathroom of the church where jungkook and taehyung would marry today.
the happiest for them, how long had jimin dreamed about the day jungkook would get married, but he always had dreamed that jungkook would marry him and not taehyung.
"jimin, are you in here?" he heard a voice asking form outside the bathroom stall. jimin hurriedly picked all the petals on the floor up and threw them into the toilet he then flushed and came outside the bathroom stall.
"are you okay, jimine?" jungkook asked mustering his best friend, he looked a little pale and he had deep bags under his eyes.
jimin grimaced, trying to put a smile on his lips but he failed miserably. jungkook didn't say anything and just decided to ask the older later, he wanted to talk to him later anyways talking to him and asking where he was for the last two months.
jimin was only a shadow of himself, nothing like the bright and funny person the younger loved and cherished.
jimin could see the worry in the younger's eyes and he felt guilty for worrying his best friend on this special day "hey don't worry kookie, i'm fine just a little tired. common let's go to the altar now, we don't want to be late, do we."
jimin could see a smile forming on jungkook's lips and his eyes filling with love. and so they both went to the altar together.
jimin was jungkook's best man and that made it even worse. jimin tried everything to seem happy, the hanahaki became so worse the last few days and he had to throw up at least once every hour.
the pain became worse as well, it hurt more and more to force the petals out of his lungs and the petals joined more blood as well.
but it was never this worse as when he saw taehyung walking to the altar to join jungkook with a big smile on his lips. they looked so beautiful and happy together, both looking perfect.
jimin could feel petals blooming in his lungs, he wanted to run away. he was afraid that he couldn't hold the petals back but he really tried his best. even though he wanted to hate taehyung for taking his jungkook away, he just couldn't.
it wasn't his fault that jungkook loved taehyung and not jimin.
it was jimin's fault, that he didn't have the balls to confess to jungkook, maybe if he did, things would have been different.
"if you want to take jeon jungkook as your husband please answer with yes i do." the priest said smiling at them.
jimin turned to taehyung, the slightly younger man was smiling with tears in his eyes. he then took the wedding ring into his shaking hands.
"yes i do." jimin whispered along with taehyung.
taehyung and jungkook laughed both we're crying messes now.
jimin was crying as well but for him, it wasn't happy tears, it was hurt and regret. there were so many petals in his lungs now and he saw black spots in his vision.
in the meanwhile, the priest had asked jungkook the same question "do you jeon jungkook want kim taehyung as your husband so please answer with yes i do."
jungkook looked at jimin and jimin nodded reassuring him that jungkook made the right decision. it didn't feel right in jimin's heart but he'd always choose jungkook's happiness over his own.
jungkook turned back to taehyung and then took the remaining wedding ring "yes i do."
"you may kiss." the priest said and with that taehyung and jungkook leaned into each other. jimin had to turn around not being able to look at them.
everyone cheered while jimin saw more and more black spots in his vision, he felt thorns around growing inside him, making his lungs fill with blood.
after the kiss was finally over jimin quickly went to the newly wedded pair to congratulate them first. he wanted to get over with this as fast as possible, he didn't know how long he could hold the petals back.
"c-congratulations you t-two." jimin choked out not being able to look into their eyes. he just stared at their intertwined hands with their golden rings shining proudly.
taehyung smiled and pulled jimin in a hug "thank you so much jimin." jimin nodded finally looking up, he understood why jungkook fell in love with him. he was a beautiful and sweet man. taehyung could offer jungkook everything and more.
jimin pulled back and now turned to jungkook, and after meeting his eyes he couldn't hold back anymore and let a cough out. he quickly held a hand in front of his mouth to catch the few petals.
taehyung had turned away from them now talking with some other people giving the two best friends some privacy.
"jungkookie" jimin smiled opening his arms for him "i'm so proud of you," he whispered into the taller's ear even though it felt like he was ripping his heart out of his chest while saying that.
jungkook pulled the smaller even closer sniffling the older's reassuring smell. he always loved how jimin smelled like strawberries, the smell felt like home to him.
"thank you minie it really means a lot to me."
jimin pulled a little away "for what are you thankful jungkook-ah? i didn't do anything special."
jungkook smiled at him sadly "minie you are my best friend and i know you better than you know yourself. you're not well, i talked with your friends from dance class and they said you haven't been there in weeks. i just hope that you'd talk to me."
it was too much for jimin, more and more petals tried to bloom so he just looked at jungkook one last time "i love you jungkookie, i hope you know that."
with that, he pressed a quick kiss onto the taller's cheek and then ran away. he ran and ran and finally reached the bathroom, as soon as he was there he couldn't hold back anymore and he tried to choke all the petals out of his lungs.
it hurt so much, the petals gave him no space to breathe properly and his vision became blurry. it was too much.
he choked and coughed but it didn't help, even though the flower petals exploded out of his throat it was never enough. his lungs were still too full.
he started to feel that he'd black out any minute now and the last thing he felt was two strong arms catching him, he smiled "i love you kookie." he whispered and then finally found his peace.
•