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Stacks of textbooks and scribble-covered sheets of notebook paper littered the surface of Kyle’s mattress. Lying flat on his stomach, he scanned the pages of his biology book and mumbled facts under his breath as his sock clad feet tapped gently against the headboard.
Beside him, a very uninterested Kenny was lying on his side facing the window, wrapped up in the warm embrace of Kyle’s Terrance and Phillip blanket with his eyes closed. In the distance, Kyle’s computer shuffled through a playlist of various songs that helped him study when it was crunch time.
This little study session had become the afternoon ritual since they’d entered high school. Normally, Stan would also be somewhere in the room, playing away on his guitar, and sometimes even Cartman would come over and eat snacks while reading comic books or rambling on about some injustice going on at school.
Other times, Butters, Jimmy, or even Craig or Clyde would join them. All of them would be talking about the girls or videogames, and there would be a lively comfort to the space.
No one, besides Kyle, did any studying. He was normally not bothered by this, but considering it was just Kenny today, he felt a bit more ignored than usual. The other boys had ditched today, weighing the arcade as more important than their biology test.
Only Kenny had agreed to join Kyle in his preparation for a perfect score. While Kyle wanted to believe that Kenny planned to help out, he had the feeling that the real reason he wasn’t playing pinball or Guitar Hero had something to do with the black eye and scratched up cheek he was sporting today – compliments of a semi-playful spar with Craig. It seemed like now his pride was pretty bruised as well - at least, that’s the only excuse that sounded realistic.
Kyle finally spoke up, his tone a little harsh from the mixture of loneliness and stress, “Dude, if you’re just going to sleep, go home,”
“I don’t want to.” Kenny mumbled, lowering his head as he tried to scrunch up even tighter under the blanket.
Kyle took a deep breath, narrowing his eyes to glare at the text on the page. What the fuck was that? What was with Kenny lately? It was like he just wanted some place to rest his head that was warm and didn’t smell like a dumpster.
This thought nagged at Kyle’s insecurities. The lack of companionship so close to this crucial part of his life was really eating away at his confidence. It made him question every bit of time he did share with his friends, frustration and sadness becoming indistinguishable.
Even now, all he could do was question whether it was actually him that Kenny wanted to be around or his soft mattress and mother’s spaghetti that came along with such a situation.
It was becoming very clear that it was the latter.
“If you’re not going to study you need to go home,” he repeated, changing the wording a little to emphasize his annoyance with this type of behavior. “There is no reason for you to be at study group if you’re not going to study.”
“I’m not bothering you.”
“Yes, Kenny,” Kyle retorted, finally glancing away from his book to meet a crystal blue gaze that he wasn’t expecting. He stammered for a moment, now looking directly into the blond’s face and having him return the stare. Catching himself, he scowled again and continued “You are.”
This earned a chuckle from the other teen as he rolled onto his back to look up at Kyle a little more comfortably – resting one of his slender hands against his chest. “I don’t normally bother you.”
“Yes, you do.” Kyle insisted, “All of you do! You come to my fucking house just so to get away from your parents!”
Kenny made a face at that, lifting himself on his elbows as his hoodless hair poked down under his eyebrows. The dark around his eye was really coming in, and the bandage on his cheek was matted down in what looked like a very uncomfortable shape. “Are you really jealous they didn’t invite you to go with them?”
“No. I’m pissed off that all of you expect me to do the work just to watch you assholes cheat off my tests when you think I’m not looking.”
“That’s because you’re the smartest kid at school,” Kenny explained, yawning shortly afterward. He’d said the same thing once before when they were kids, but under a different name and with a different mask over his eyes. “Take it as a compliment that we trust you so damn much.”
“That’s fucking stupid.”
Kenny just shrugged, falling back into silence – which just irritated Kyle more.
“Why are you even here in the first place?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, don’t you want to hang out with the other guys?” He nibbled on his eraser, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. “Wouldn’t it be more fun to be at the arcade than here?”
The question hadn’t come out the way Kyle planned, and it had exposed him a little more than he was ready for. His fingers trembled, eyebrows pressed tightly together as his lips rested in a thin line.
Maybe Kenny hadn’t noticed.
The devious look in his eyes said otherwise. The teen leaned over and pushed against Kyle’s book with enough force to send it hurtling off the bed and crashing to the floor with a muffled thump.
“Hey-” Kyle began but his scolding was cut short by a pull against his wrist and the back of his neck. He tumbled forward, his elbow cushioning his short fall to the mattress. His arms were suddenly pressed tight against a very warm and soft surface, and his vision was obscured by a change in lighting. It took a moment for him to realize that Kenny had covered both of their heads with the blanket and was now moving towards him.
“You’re kinda a little cute when you’re jealous.” Kenny whispered, his eyes a little sad as he pressed the tips of their noses together – almost earning an audible gasp of concern from Kyle, who was very worried about the blue eyed boy’s facial wounds. “I’m here because why the fuck not?”
The red head pursed his lips, pushing against the other boy’s chest in attempt to put some space between them. It was weak and effortless with its only purpose being to look like he was the slightest bit against this, but in reality his feelings were a little more complex than that.
Being this close to Kenny wasn’t good for him, of this he was aware, but Kenny was gentle in his own sort of way. Lately, their alone time always ended like this, close together under a blanket staring at each other like some kind of teen romance novel – except neither boy really fit the normal description or vocabulary.
“Besides, why would I go off with those pricks anyways? It’s fun here.” Placing a hand on the side of Kyle’s face, Kenny brought their lips together – lingering closely as he breathed in the moment. He seemed content with himself despite his earlier sad eyes and he let the side of his head fall against the pillow.
Kyle, on the other hand, felt stupidly dreamy, shoulders lifted upwards as he enjoyed the after-taste of cigarettes that a kiss with Kenny always promised. He had begun to enjoy the flavor after their third kiss, but he hadn’t voiced this yet and was convinced that he never would.
This kissing was nothing special, after all. It did not require such expressions of feelings, and he was certain that they would end just the way they began, without much of a word from either boy.
In fact, this side of Kenny kind of pissed Kyle off anyway. He was just using this little bit of power he had over his hormones – and maybe a little bit of the irrational part of his mind that controlled his emotions – to distract him from his anger.
“Dammit. You’re good at avoiding questions.”
“And you’re good at being stubborn. Do you ever relax anymore?” Kenny laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You need to learn to breathe, Kyle.”
Grumbling a little, Kyle tried to take the advice and forget everything for a moment. It was nice to be like this, he had to admit. Kenny had begun to fill that loneliness that he felt, and he was actually a little proud of himself for being able to capture at least one person’s attention – even if it was the boob-loving pervert of his friend group.
“There. Feels better, right?”
Kyle nodded, his own head now also nestled against the soft body of his pillow as he let the musky sent of Kenny’s jacket fill his nose. The fabric didn’t smell anything like Kyle’s did - lavender scented washing powders that his mom always kept the house stocked with. Instead it was a mixture of what he could only describe as apple incense and a strange bitterness.
It was warm under the blankets, not that his house wasn’t always the perfect temperature thanks to his dad’s insistent fiddling with the thermostat, but there was something special about laying this close to another person.
He used to get a similar feeling when he was a kid and Stan would come over and they’d share the bed – though his heart didn’t race like this until he was thirteen and stopped letting Stan sleep in such confined spaces with him. It had been awkward for him to be close to most of the boys after that, but he didn’t feel that way around Kenny.
That had nothing to do with a lack of attraction, however.
After a moment of silence, he felt the need to speak up and start a conversation – the lack of sound making it hard for his to control his heart. “I found a flier for the animal shelter today. It says they’re having an adoption day.”
Kenny raised an eyebrow, refusing to open his eyes or mouth.
“I was thinking about getting dog. You know, like Stan’s old dog, Sparky.”
“Um-hm.”
Taking another deep breath and purposefully pushing it out as loudly as possible, he grinned as Kenny peeked out from under his eyelashes. “Well, dude, I don’t think I can take care of it all the time, and since everyone else is busy with their own shit, I was wondering if you wanted to share the responsibility.”
“Me? Responsibility? Do you know who you’re talking to?” Kenny laughed, bringing his hands up to rest against either side of Kyle’s curly red hair. “Plus, why would I give a shit about a dog when there’s a perfectly good poodle for me to play with right here?”
“Screw you,” Kyle grumbled, “I’m being serious.” He was used to people making fun of his hair, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. No matter how much he tried to tame the wild curls that contorted the strands of hair, nothing worked. He’d learned to like it as much as a person could.
Blinking a few times, the blond’s feisty attitude calmed down a little, but it didn’t stop him from running his hands through Kyle’s hair. His long digits glided across the surface of his scalp with ease, the effects bringing a breathlessness that Kyle wasn’t used to at all. “Are you sure you want to do something like that with me though? Isn’t that more like ‘Super Best Friend Stan’ type of shit?”
“No. Why would you say that?”
“Because you two are practically married.”
“We are not!” Kyle spat back, cheeks heating up with frustration.
How could he say something like that when he was the one who’d just kissed Kyle? Sure, they weren’t dating or anything, and the details of their relationship were an unknown mystery to everyone – including themselves - but Kyle didn’t just let anyone mack on him for the fun of it. Kenny might be used to this sort of casualty, but Kyle certainly wasn’t.
“You are,” Kenny confirmed, “but I’ll do whatever you want.”
“You will?” Kyle questioned, not quite sure if he believed such a proclamation.
He was pretty worried that his mom and dad wouldn’t be okay with him having a dog since he was always busy with student council and other extracurricular obligations. So, he had to be sure that Kenny was up for this. After all, they wouldn’t have a problem with it if they knew he’d put enough thought into the animal’s care to get someone – besides them – to help him.
“Yeah. Why the fuck not? I’m not completely useless.” He averted his eyes, pursing his lips in offense.
This was a little more charming than his normal wicked smirk.
“You’re very useful.” Kyle laughed, and it was him this time who pulled against Kenny’s collar and kissed him.
The kiss was hesitant and Kyle was well aware that it was probably the most pathetic kiss that Kenny had ever received, but he also hoped that he was aware that it was the most he could offer right now. He just wasn’t that experienced, especially when it came to kissing other boys – even more so childhood friends.
As he pulled back, he didn’t look for a reaction but instead stuck his head out from under the blanket and leaned over the side of his bed to pick up the book off the floor. After he placed it back in front of him and found the page he was on, he spoke again. “You’d be more useful if you actually studied though.”
“No way in hell that’s happening.”
“That’s what I thought.” Kyle chuckled, rubbing his forehead with the inside of his palm.
Against his side, the bed shifted and an arm slithered over his back to grasp his side. Kenny’s face pressed against his arm so that he could lie as close to Kyle as possible. The blond yawned and wiggled around a few times before apparently deciding to doze off. After he read a few pages, the light sound of snoring echoed through the room.
Kyle was amazed at how quickly Kenny had fallen asleep, but the dark ring under the eye that hadn’t been bruised proved that he had reason to – probably not sleeping too well lately.
Turning the page of his book, Kyle unconsciously let his hand roam over to the other boy’s blond mess of hair and petted it in the same way as had been done to him moments earlier. It was refreshing to learn that petting someone else’s hair felt just as good as having his own touched.
Leaning against his elbow, Kyle let his mind wander away from his studies and back to the boy beside him. Kenny was more like a dog than Kyle was.
It was Kenny that Kyle really had the urge to look after, and to his knowledge, no one else did.
Kyle pondered why the lovable mutt was so attached to him. Perhaps it was this attachment that made it so difficult to ignore him. Or maybe it was something deeper – something Kyle didn’t want to touch.
One thing was certain, though. Kenny needed to be put on a leash, just like a dog.