Work Text:
COMING TO LIFE
Darien Lambert had been back for two weeks, and still he could not believe he was home. Although he had enjoyed his stay in the past, it had not ever truly felt like home. Now, he was home; now, he felt at rest. And he was having a rest, too. He had a nice long vacation planned, since the hundred and four criminals he'd found in the past had been returned. He'd met some famous people (well, they hadn't been famous when he met them) and had a heck of a lot of adventures. Even his computer, SELMA, had expressed satisfaction that they were home, although her tasks were significantly different in the year 2204.
But Darien's holiday was not to be. Frank Matumba called, wanting him to come down to Trax Central for an urgent meeting. So, dutifully, Darien went down to the basement of the Smithsonian. To find the Trax machine mothballed, and a lot of new equipment set up.
"What's goin' on here, Frank?"
"My new experiment."
"But you hadn't sorted out the problem with the time equipment yet."
"True, but the process isn't much good to us as it is, and there's far too much risk to leave it set up and operating. I'm declaring this experiment over and moving on."
"To what?" Darien wanted to know.
"Androids."
"Androids?"
"Yeah, you know, machines that look like people."
"I thought that had been tried and rejected."
"Well, it had, but I'm going for the new approach: genetically created people."
"Like in that old movie, Blade Runner."
Frank smiled at the reference; he'd known Darien would make the connection. "Yeah, sort of. Only we grow the body and use a computer for the brain. It's been done for years, we're just taking it that
one step further."
"Why?"
"Well, because for one thing, computers can store more in their memories, and have a lot of other abilities that humans, even in our advanced evolutionary state, don't have."
Darien still didn't see why Frank was telling him this and said so.
"Because, Darien, I want to try it with a memory archive. Yours, to be exact."
Immediately, Darien was on the defensive. "You're not experimenting with SELMA. She's too valuable to me."
Matumba was not having any of that. "I already asked the Chief and he okayed it."
"Well, I didn't."
Now Frank tried a different approach. "Darien, don't you see that if this works, you'll still have SELMA, with all her abilities, but she'll be a walking, talking SELMA, too. You won't need visual mode, she'll be standing in front of you!"
When Frank Matumba said that, SELMA clicked.
"What, SELMA?" asked Darien.
"Your friend is proposing to make me... human."
"Not human, no. Flesh and blood, yes," Frank corrected her.
And then SELMA said the thing that changed her captain's mind. "I would like that."
***
Darien had his holiday - without SELMA because the Trax people (they still called the place Trax even though time travel had been stopped) needed to take precise readings of the archive so that they could perfect the interface between it and the body that would be enclosing it.
And when Darien's holiday was over, he successfully captained Fugitive Retrieval for two more years (a lot more successfully since criminals could no longer escape via the Smithsonian) before the process which Frank had outlined was complete.
***
"We've done it with two other memory archives," Frank explained the day they were going to complete SELMA's 'makeover', "and both worked out wonderfully. They weren't as advanced as your Specialised Encapsulated Limitless Memory Archive, so they didn't behave as naturally as people would, but we think SELMA will be our masterpiece."
To cover his worry at the fact that very soon they'd start working on the interface, Darien said, "Tell me that if this doesn't work I'll still get my computer back."
Frank, parrot-fashion, replied, "If this doesn't work, you'll still get your computer back."
"Great!" smiled Darien.
"We think," Frank added.
***
It was like waiting for an operation to be over. Darien paced up and down, almost wearing a path in the Trax floor. Eventually, Frank and the four other roboticists and geneticists emerged from their work area. Frank looked at Darien's panicked face, and then broke into a smile. "A success."
"And... SELMA?"
"She's still... I'd say unconscious, but the computer is awake, the body is just getting the rest it needs, to adjust to the interface. She should be out of there in about five hours."
"And then?"
"Then... we'll see."
"Oh, great," replied Darien. He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that his computer would now be a person... but he did know how he'd feel if he couldn't ever see (okay, work with) SELMA again.
***
The sensations were very strange... feelings of cold, warmth... smells... Selma opened her eyes and looked around. Well, at least that was the same. Images assaulted her... but now they had a physical reality to them, everything had a unique look, a unique smell...
A face moved into view. Captain Lambert. Selma swallowed, attempted to talk. "C... Captain..."
"Yeah. Hi, Selma. How are you feeling?"
"I'm... functioning... fffeeeling... well... I think."
Then Frank broke in. "Okay, that's enough for now. We want to do some tests, then start on the process of movement."
"You mean Selma can't move yet?" asked Darien, panicking suddenly.
"Of course she can move, but she won't be coordinated. It'll take weeks of therapy before she's as fluid as we are."
Darien was starting to wonder if it was all going to be worth it. But somehow, Selma sensed his thoughts. She had always been able to do that. "C...Captain Lambert... if I can experience life the way you can, it will be worth it."
Darien smiled. "If you say so, Selma."
Selma smiled. That, at least, was not a problem. "I say so."
***
Darien sat in his office at the precinct, staring at the blank wall. She looked... well, they had done their best to make Selma look the way she wanted to look... And it had worked. She didn't look exactly like she had in hologram form, but it was very close. Darien didn't quite know how to feel about this, though. For so long, SELMA had been a computer, mother-confessor, friend, female substitute all rolled into one. When she was let out of the Trax complex, what would she be? At least, what would she be to him? Darien didn't know.
***
Weeks passed. Frank came around every day to see how things were going, staff performed tests, physical therapy soon had Selma talking fluidly, and her physical movements were getting better and better. The interface was fully integrated. Darien tried to visit every day, but with his workload and responsibilities, it was difficult.
The seventh week since Selma had opened her eyes, Darien finally managed to work in an extended visit. The physical therapist, noting that Darien seemed uncomfortable simply sitting there watching, suggested that the captain take Selma for her walk round the building.
"Is it okay?" he asked.
"Sure it is. Just make sure you support her all the way, okay? As soon as Selma can make it round without support, we'll release her."
Darien looked at Selma, who smiled. It reminded of her holographic smile, something he found... comforting. "I think I'm ready for my walk now," she said to Darien, making a face when the therapist turned away.
Darien held Selma around the waist as she walked around the building. "Are you really all right?" he asked as she stumbled for the third time.
"I'm fine, Captain. Just a little unsteady, but I'm doing better every time. My data indicates that it should be another two or three weeks before I can walk around the building by myself." She paused, as if considering whether to continue, then she did. "I must say, I do prefer you to my therapist." She did not look at him.
Darien wondered how to take that, then dismissed it. "Yeah, well, I am more familiar to you. And cuter."
Selma smiled. "Definitely cuter." She looked into his eyes, and what Darien saw there unnerved him greatly.
But he struggled not to show it, and succeeded. "So... do you want me to come over for your walks from now on?"
"I would like that," said Selma, almost... shyly. She couldn't tell him that she was having... other feelings... when he was around. She was a person now - not human, but a person. Flesh and blood, with all the problems and joys that brought with it. She liked it. She had... feelings. Emotions. Jokes amused her. Sad movies made her cry. Frank made her feel friendship. Captain Lambert made her feel... she didn't know. All her other feelings had been defined by Frank when she'd described them. But she wasn't going to describe this... trembling she felt whenever her captain was around. Somehow, it just would not be appropriate.
But Frank Matumba was not ignorant of the facts. The tests he did clearly showed an elevated heart rate and blood pressure whenever Darien visited.
He knew Darien's visits made Selma happy, but he was starting to suspect that Selma was having human feelings that she might not know how to deal with.
After much deliberation, Frank called Fugitive Retrieval and asked for Darien.
"Yeah, Frank, what can I do for you?" Darien looked as though he were busy - which was true - he was in the middle of a case.
"Darien, I need to see you. When's the best time?"
"Ummm... how about after work tonight? Around six."
"Okay. Uh, Darien..."
"Yeah?"
"Are you scheduled to visit Selma this afternoon?"
"I was going to sneak off for half an hour, yeah."
"Don't."
"Why not?"
"I'll tell you tonight."
***
Frank sat in Darien's office trying to figure out what to say. It was difficult, but perhaps the best way would be to come right out and say it. Less chance of a misunderstanding that way.
Finally Darien emerged. "Sorry. Long day."
"It's okay."
"So... what did you want to see me about? Selma's okay, isn't she?"
Frank smiled a tight smile. If only Darien knew just how okay Selma was. "Yeah. She's fine, but..."
"But?"
"I think Selma is in love with you."
"WHAT?!" Darien almost fell out of his chair, so great was his shock. And yet, part of him was not shocked. And yet another part was glad.
"She's having a strong physical response to your presence," said Frank matter-of-factly.
"Which means?"
"It could mean one of a few things. One, it could be a physical thing, a female response. Two, it could be because you're the one person she's been with constantly since the year 2192. And three, it could be because she loves you."
Darien leaned back, sighed. "Okay. Which do you think it is?"
"Three. She loves you. She hasn't had that response around any other men, and men are swarming around Trax."
"What do you want to do about it?"
Frank sighed. "This is the difficult part. I don't think you should visit any more. Maybe she'll get over it if she doesn't see you. Or, you should let her know that there isn't any possibility that..." Frank trailed off, as Darien shook his head.
"What?"
"I love her too, Frank."
"Oh, boy." It was the only thing Frank could think of to say.
***
Darien lay in bed that night, wondering whatever had possessed him to say that. All he knew was that it was true. He hadn't wanted to admit it to anyone, least of all himself, until Frank had told him about Selma. But when Frank had said that Selma loved him, it had hit him: he loved her, too. He always had, even when she'd been the size of a credit card. He had wondered how he'd get along without her... he'd needed her: needed her to place ads in the Washington Post, to make phone calls, to project images... But he'd needed her to talk to, as well. More than anything, he'd needed her just to be... there. He loved her, it was as simple as that.
Darien immediately asked for a leave of absence. The Chief grumbled and groaned and then granted it. Darien headed for Trax, not quite sure what he was going to do there, but knowing that Selma needed him.
***
"Captain!" Selma's voice betrayed her excitement. "Come and see."
Darien followed Selma outside, where she proceeded to walk around the building without any help whatsoever. "I can leave Trax now," she said. "I suppose I'll have to find somewhere to live... but I can still do my job as I always have." She looked at Darien. "Can't I?"
"Of course you can," Darien replied.
"Isn't it wonderful!" Selma threw her arms around him, then her enthusiasm suddenly seemed to ebb when she found her face just inches from his. "I'm sorry, Captain..." she began, but Darien was having none of that.
"Don't be sorry," he said... and kissed her. At first, the sensations were strange, but then Selma felt the passion behind the kiss, felt his fervent desire for her, indeed even his love.
She broke away then, staring at him, her breath coming in fast gasps. But Darien put his hand to her lips, and would not let her speak. "I love you, Selma," he said. "I think... I know I always have."
"But... Captain... surely you must realise the psychological implications of our long journey together, what it can do..."
Darien interrupted. "I thought of all that. It's not true. I have loved you for being YOU, and for no other reason. You could walk away tomorrow, you could go back to what you were, it would change nothing. I'll still love you. And," he tilted her chin up so she would have to look at him, "I know you love me."
But Selma didn't meet his eyes. "I do love you, but I don't know if I always did, or..."
"Frank told me you can't know. A body changes things. It doesn't matter."
"Captain..."
"Stop calling me that. My name is Darien, as you well know."
"I'm frightened, Captain. Darien."
"I know."
***
"What's going to happen to her, Frank?"
"Well, if she loves you, I think that's up to her, not Trax."
"I want her, you know? When she was only a memory archive, that never entered my mind. But now... now I see the possibilities, and I want to make them real."
"We're letting her out of here tomorrow. Take her to your place, keep her there for a while. See what happens."
"Is that your advice?"
"Yeah. Let nature take its course."
"Okay."
***
"I don't see why Frank told you to watch me!" protested Selma as she walked into Darien's apartment. "I'm fine, and perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"I know you are," said Darien in the same tone he'd always used when trying to talk Selma into or out of something. "But Frank feels you need to... ease into things."
"Ease into things. That's for humans. I'm still a computer, up here." She pressed her temple. "The real me is enclosed in this body."
Darien walked over, put his hand over her heart. "But your body is sending signals to the real you, the body is part of the new you."
"Captain, don't patronise me. I can still tell, you know."
Darien grinned. That was the Selma (SELMA?) he knew and loved. "I told you to call me Darien."
"It'll take a while for me to start thinking of you as Darien, too."
"Yeah, I guess." Darien's hand was still over her heart, and she turned away, breaking the contact. "What is it, Selma?"
"I would rather you didn't... touch me. It... I don't know what, but I don't think you should."
"Are you afraid? Of what might happen?"
"Yes. It's all new to me, and..."
"Selma." Darien took her arms, pulled her around to face him. "There's nothing wrong with your feelings. They're healthy ones. So are mine. And me just touching you is not going to get out of hand if you don't want it to, I promise."
"I know..."
Darien interrupted. "Look, the guest room is through there. Go inand get some sleep, and we'll see what happens tomorrow. Okay?"
"All right, C... Darien."
Darien kissed her forehead. "Good night."
Selma went through to the guest room. "Good night." She closed the door, leaving Darien feeling suddenly, inexplicably, alone.
***
Darien woke up in the middle of the night to find Selma standing beside his bed. "Selma? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I've never been away from Trax before, not in this body. And it felt unfamiliar... I missed you."
"Come and lie down."
"I..."
"Selma, come and lie down!"
Selma obeyed; her programming still had more influence over her than her physical body did.
Darien took her into his arms. "Is that better?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now go to sleep."
"Very well."
***
But Selma didn't go to sleep; she lay awake, feeling... SAFE... for the first time since she'd had this body. She had never felt unsafe when she was only a memory archive, but her body responded to being held... and it soothed her. And she became aware of one fact: she wanted Darien, to be with him, to... be one with him. It was a hard feeling to describe, but she felt as though she wanted to climb right... inside him, and never come out. Suddenly she realised that Darien was not asleep either, he was looking at her.
"Ca... Darien, I feel... can I tell you?"
"Self expression has never been a problem for you," he joked.
"True." She quickly describe her feelings, leaving nothing out. "Is that love?"
"It's what happens when you love someone so much that you want to be a part of them, yes."
"Alyssa?"
"There wasn't enough time to know. She was more my muse, or some such thing. Delicate and perfect and beautiful. And martyred to Sahmbi's insanity."
"Darien... is that how you feel about me?"
"Selma... you have no idea. At first I thought... that I felt those things because you look like my mother. But that's not it."
"I still look like that."
"Generally, yeah. But it's the you inside that I love." Their faces were once again only inches apart, and this time Selma reached up and kissed Darien. Darien responded enthusiastically, waiting for her to tense up when his hand moved beneath the fabric of her nightgown. But she didn't; instead she put her arms around him and hugged him tightly, never breaking the kiss.
Eventually, Darien broke away, looking at her. "Selma, who would have thought this when we started?"
"Not me," she confessed, his hand warm on the skin on her back. Now that she had skin, she could see why the physical sense was so strong in humans. "But... what's my status?"
"Technically..." Here they were, having a technical conversation while in bed together! "Technically, you still 'belong' to the police department. And you're still assigned to me."
"I hear a 'but' in there somewhere, Captain." It was going to take a long time to change the 'captain' habit.
"Yeah," said Darien, ignoring what she'd called him. "I think the Chief, Frank, and everyone are going to give you a new identity, list your mainframe as having been destroyed during the experiment, and you'll have a new life."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that. And because I asked them to." He looked down at her, was about to kiss her, but...
"Darien... " She had been about to say that it couldn't be that simple; too many people had been involved, the government knew... But when she looked into his eyes and saw how he was looking at her, knew what he must feel to have gone out on a limb for her, it suddenly seemed unimportant. "Just... love me."
"Are you sure?" he smiled.
Selma smiled back; this time with the same smile she'd used as a hologram: slightly sarcastic, with a tender warning thrown in. "Shut up and kiss me, Captain."
"Getting forceful, aren't we?"
"You know I always have been."
"Yeah."
"So? Love me. Now."
The smile never left her features, and as he kissed her, pulled off the nightgown, and began an exploration or two of his own, Selma's smile was what stayed in his head. In that moment, when she had smiled her usual way, he had known: she had transcended her computer origins, she had fully integrated herself as a human, she was literally his holographic image come to life.
Selma was having the same thoughts, though caught up in the sensations of the body... It felt like part of her at last; she WAS human despite what Frank had said. And now was the time to put all those sexual texts in her mainframe to good use. But more than that, what they WERE, their essences, wanted to be together.
They wanted to love each other.
So they did.
THE END