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Kaidan Alenko sat down on the rubble of the Citadel tower and turned his back towards the carnage. They had won. And they had lost. Saren and the Sovereign were dead, the geth defeated, but they had lost their biggest hero in the process.
Sláine Shepard's life had been the cost of their victory, and the taste of it left him wanting to throw up. He wanted to cry but was too numb to do it. He wanted to shout at the unfair universe but he had no strength left. The last fight against the huskified Saren had been brutal, even with Shepard taking the brunt of it, and then when the pieces of the downed ships started raining down...
Liara sat down next to him, gripping his shoulder in sympathy. Her eyes were shining with the shared sorrow and he wondered, again, how much the Asari scientist really cared about Shepard. If his own crush had been obvious, so had hers. But he hoped hers hadn't grown into love as his had. He didn't wish the amount of pain he was feeling on anyone, even if he had been jealous of her, once. After all she was beautiful and exotic, and he was just plain old him.
It was hard to feel jealous now when it was him Shepard had shared her last night with. The promises had only been implied, the feelings acted out rather than vocalised, but she had been so desperate, so hungry, so unwilling to let go and sleep that he had to believe she loved him as much as he loved her. He hadn't wanted to close his eyes to sleep either, his body still humming from the pleasure she had brought him, his mind still filled with her.
He remembered his last thought before drifting into sleep, Sláine wrapped in his arms: if they had to die, please let it be together. He didn't want to consider going on without her, nor did he want to leave her to go on alone.
Sounds at the doorway made him raise his eyes. Anderson. At least he had survived, then. The tiny part of him that wasn't numbed by pain was glad of that. He liked the man, respected him, and he knew Sláine did, too.
Then the man asked the most dreaded question, and Kaidan had to meet his gaze, knowing he could read the answer in them.
“Where's Shepard?”
Liara was talking but Kaidan couldn't get a word out, eyes locked to Anderson's, recognising the moment he realised the truth. The usually so stoic captain bowed his head and wiped his fingers over his eyes. Kaidan almost envied him the relief of tears.
Anderson wasn't alone, and soon they were helping Liara and Kaidan up and towards the unblocked doorway. Unable to help himself, Kaidan turned to look behind him, one last time, then had to squint. Was that movement?
Not just rubble shifting, someone was walking over it, not Saren, surely... but he knew that armour – dented and dirty as it was. And that close-cropped red hair, and the shining face of Sláine, and he couldn't get a sound out, but suddenly he was standing without aid, and moving back towards where they came from, and there was shouting, and Shepard shouted back, and she was cradling her arm and oh god she was alive, she was alive, she was alive.
Kaidan took a few halting steps towards her, and then she was there, arms around him, and they were kissing, in full view of Captain Anderson and everyone, and he didn't care, he finally had the proper taste of victory in his mouth.