Work Text:
Commander Sláine Shepard would be the first to admit that she hadn't expected this complication.
She hadn't seen Thane for six months, the whole time she had been incarcerated after surrendering the Normandy and herself to the Alliance at the successful conclusion of their quest to stop the collectors and surprising return from the so-called suicide mission. To be fair, she hadn't seen anyone else from her crew either, from either version of the Normandy, until running into Kaidan in front of the council chambers back on Earth.
Kaidan. He had looked at her without hate, been bashful about his promotion, and shaken her hand like a former crew mate. It's not like she'd expected him to kiss her there and then, but it had hurt so much to see him and not have a chance for a word in private. He looked good. Really good.
And then everything blew up, literally, and they were escaping Earth, and Anderson was staying behind, and she was suddenly a commander again, in active service, on board the Normandy once more, and Kaidan was there. Kaidan, full of doubts about her, her loyalties, and... and he had said he'd loved her.
They had never exchanged the words, so to hear them like that, in the middle of an argument... “the woman I loved.” Past tense. So bitter, yet... hopeful, so ready to believe her when she renounced Cerberus.
And then, before they could even talk properly, he was dying. Head injury, critical condition, and for the first time she felt crushed under her new responsibilities. If Liara hadn't been there to make her focus...
But they got him on the Citadel in time, and the doctors at the Huerta Memorial had managed to save him. And doctor Chakwas had been there, too, and was now in her proper place in the Normandy medbay. And now Kaidan was awake.
And, apparently, friends with Thane.
Thane, who was here, who was alive, but in so much worse condition than he had been six months ago. Now it was easy to believe he was dying. And she loved him. She had missed him desperately during her imprisonment, had regretted the need to leave him behind the most.
Thane asked her about Kaidan, whether she was the woman he was hoping would visit. She realised she had never told him the name of her lost love. She had to admit to it now but... part of her wanted to tell him she loved Kaidan, that she wanted to be with him every moment she had.
But she loved Thane, too, and she would not forsake him for another while he still lived. Did that make it sound like she was stringing Kaidan along until Thane passed away? It wasn't like that. It wasn't.
So she kissed Thane, and held him when he shook from the exertion, and he in turn promised to look after Kaidan and protect him while he was vulnerable. And, apparently, have chats with him. Maybe it made sense that the two men that meant so much to her got along. After all, they had to have something in common to both be her type...